Friday, September 28, 2012

Bug’s Bleat - - GCF: Tornado Warning

Volume 14, Issue 38 Friday, September 28, 2012



Running Video at MCC in the old building.



On the "Hard Hat Tour" at Hoover Dam.



My favorite Brayton Fire Field Photo.



Our Fire Brigade ID tags.



Pat Hammock doing his "Fire" dance at A&M.



Med Chopper takes off from St. Michaels.



Resurfacing US82 between Garland City and the hills.


Hello ALL,

Annette claims that all my stories are "fiction" (lies) Here's what her daughter thinks: "Daddy, ROBL (that's rolling on the bed Laughing)
Love mama's games! The Chinese one is completely true!
Vanessa"
~~~~~
Annette’s “Day Of Rest” - - We’ve been fairly busy what with Mike in the hospital in Texarkana, Dusty in the ElDorado hospital, Vanessa and Jimmy moving, MCC women preparing to leave for a Women Of God conference and performing myriad other tasks that seem to be “immediately necessary” in our lives.

So, after going to Texarkana to check on Mike again on Wednesday, and, while we were there, Annette getting her lower back injected to stop some nerve pain (a procedure which required her to be anesthetized,) Then returning to Magnolia and, again handling numerous other necessary jobs, Annette decreed that Thursday would be a day of rest.

We had a rough night as Annette was in significant pain from the injection. Sometime in the wee hours she finally fell asleep but she woke with greatly reduced pain. And she again announced that Thursday would be a day to rest and recharge. … At least until she woke up fully.

We had breakfast, then visited with Jimmy and Vanessa as they came over to eat waffles and eggs since they have already boxed up their kitchen.

After they left, around 9:00 am, we retired to the bedroom to catch up on our TV viewing. About 9:15 am Annette announced that she felt good enough to get her nails and feet done at “Lovely Nails.”
She’d been thinking that I could drop her off, take an item back to Radio Shack, deposit the book store money, cash another check we’d received and pick up my book at the library.

Since when does a day of rest include a chores list?
But, I told her o.k. and went to take my bath. At 9:45, Annette was asking if I was ready to go yet.
I finally got dressed and out the door a little after 10 am.

After dropping her off, I did the errands and finally got back to the house about noon. I’d been there about 15 minutes when Annette called with another list of folks to be called and things to be done. She had time to think on this while they were working on her feet.

So I again headed out and started working off the list. It was almost 1 pm when David called and asked if I could bring him some lunch as he couldn’t get away from work. No problem, I’m still waiting on Annette anyway.

I’d just dropped David’s lunch off when Annette called to say she was ready to be picked up. I was already headed that way, in hopes I could be ready when she was and we could get a very late lunch.
So we went to Cancun and enjoyed lunch but Annette was still working on her “jobs list.” After lunch, she declared that we needed to go by Wal-Mart to get a Southwest salad to have for supper. … An hour and half later and $160 poorer, we left Wal-Mart with the salad and a “few” other things (which I noticed didn’t include milk which we’ll need tomorrow.)

On the way home, we made a couple of more “necessary” stops and then we unloaded the car. We’d just finished that when the kids called for help hooking up their stove. I headed out and fortunately intercepted Robert Davison who followed me over to the kid’s house and helped Jimmy hook up the stove.

So, about 8 pm we finally finished our “day of rest” and were able to sit down.

I’m not sure how many more of Annette’s “days of rest” I can stand.
~~~~~
Annette asked if I could tell some stories on someone else this week. So I’ve dug up a “Blast From The Past” This story first appeared in the July 29, 2000 “Bleat” but I’m figuring there’s plenty of you who haven’t heard it.
~
At the Plant one day, we were discussing snake encounters. As Jessie George once said "I don't have any use for anything with no shoulders." Glenn Brian told me that he'd quit picking up Mayhaws because of "Mr. No Shoulders."

Now, I'm not a fan of snakes, but they don't absolutely terrify me. My mother told the story of fishing with my father once. He was holding onto a cypress limb to steady the boat when a water moccasin crawled onto his arm. Bud just held still while trying to keep my mother from upsetting the snake. Eventually, the snake crawled off his arm and back onto the limb.

When we were kids, Charlie, Dinah Sue and I delighted in killing small snakes and hiding them around our homes for the women to find. Aunt Gertrude was especially fun to play with. But we also left them in Grandmother's home. One afternoon, we were playing in Grandmother's front yard when we heard her shout "James Fort! I told you not to ... "

Then she just screamed. Running into the house, we discovered a baby "ground rattler" in the hallway between the kitchen and dining room.
Grandmother had assumed that it was another one of the snakes we'd left lying around. However, when she stooped over to pick it up, it started rattling. That's when she screamed. We were more than happy to dispatch the beast for her and bury it in our snake graveyard.

Steve tells a story about plumbing his house. He'd been working under the house for a couple of days when, while taking a break, he noticed a copperhead at the edge of the house. He got his 357, and loaded it with rat shot intending to dispatch the intruder. However, his first shot missed (the snake, not the house) and the snake slithered further under the house. Steve called for his wife and daughter and told them to watch where the snake went under the house (it was just below that new hole in the siding) while he crawled under the other side. Once under the house, he was able to see the snake and opened fire. After expending all his ammunition, reloading and emptying the gun again, he finally dispatched the snake ... as well as the sink drain line and the toilet water line. When he came out from under the house, his family was on the roof of the family truck. They told him that seemed to be the safest place.

Greg's friends relate the story of the slithering sound in the attic.

Greg heard it during supper one evening. He climbed into the attic and saw the insulation moving in time with the slithering noises. Not one to panic, he called for his wife to bring his gun and get the kids out of the house. Once his family was clear, he dispatched the snake with only minor damage to the house (three holes in the dining room ceiling.)

Then there's the famous story of Mike and Prentiss’s frog gigging trip.

Mike and Prentiss were working evening shift at the plant. They'd parked Mike’s truck and boat in front of the control room and were ready to go at shift change. They drove straight to Dorcheat bottoms where they unloaded the boat and related equipment. Imagine their disappointment when they discovered there were no flashlights in their supplies.
Somehow, they'd both forgotten this minor item. However, not to be held up, they simply removed the headlight and battery from the truck and used a pair of jumper cables to hook the light to the battery. Off they went down the creek, gigging frogs. Mike was handling the light and Prentiss was handling the gig. They noticed a large water moccasin on the creek bank but tried to ignore him. Anyway, when they looked again, he was gone. So they continued hunting frogs. Suddenly Prentiss heard something hit the boat and yelled for Mike to shine the light in the middle of the boat. Mike swung the light around and the light revealed that large moccasin crawling over the edge of the boat. Mike grabbed a paddle and stood up to do battle. That's when he inadvertently jerked the cables loose that were connecting the light and the battery. What do you do in the pitch dark in a boat with a large snake? Their answer was to wale away at everything within reach. Once they had run out of energy, Mike was able to hook the light back up. The snake was gone.

Almost everything in the boat was damaged or destroyed. But Mike and Prentiss had survived. ... Oh yeah, the battery was dead when they got back to the truck with it.
~~~~~
But, a week without an Annette story is a week without sunshine so here’s another, “The Supervisor.”
~
Annette has complained long and loud about me “bossing” her since I retired. And I admit that I’m used to supervising my team members so that attitude may have carried over to home when I was no longer working.

However, the real truth is that Annette is the boss of our home and the supervisor of all that goes on there.

For instance, several years ago she wanted to get rid of a tree on the east side of our home. She called the normal reputable folks and was quoted almost $2,000 to do the job (a large tree, located within 10 or 15 feet of two homes and with a utility line running through it.)

But Annette doesn’t buy anything that’s not on sale. She saw a flyer on the Kroger’s bulletin board, advertising reasonable rates on tree trimming and removal. So she called them.

They came out and gave her a quote and she called me and said; “They’ll do it for $250. Can we get them to take that tree down?” I asked the normal questions that would come to mind when faced with an offer of services at 1/8th what everyone else is charging; “are they insured?”

She assured me that they were licensed, bonded, insured and ready to go to work. So I said; “Have At It.”

An hour or so later she called again; “A little part of the tree hit the house but we’ve got the water off and they are fixing it.” Now many of you might rush home to see what was happening. But you’re not me and you haven’t been married to Annette for decades. I knew that she would handle it and the house would be livable when I got home, so I just continued working, while also wondering exactly how they’d managed to hit the house and how much damage had been done.

When I got home that afternoon, the crew was packing up their tools and the house was intact. The “Little Part” of the tree turned out to have been a 6’ section of a 12” diameter trunk piece that fell “wrong” and tore the outside faucet off the house, along with some siding. But all that had been repaired.

The gentleman in charge related how the trunk piece ended up hitting my house; “Your wife was supervising us, making sure we didn’t cut anything but the tree and watching us work. We had to protect the houses, the utility line and your wife each time we cut the tree. But she had walked away and we thought we were clear on this piece when, just as we finished the cut, we looked down and she was standing where the tree would hit when released to we pushed the piece the other direction as it fell and it struck the house instead of your wife.”

Well, I couldn’t fault the gentleman for taking care of Annette and the tree was gone and the house was repaired and Annette did just pay $300 for the job. I know, it was supposed to be $250, but I had her tip him for protecting her.
~
I have a short mental picture for you of her next “supervisory” incident when she had the tree stump “chipped.” By that time she was in a wheel chair due to breaking her ankle. She had the young men who lived next door, lift her down the back steps so she could roll around the yard watching the stump chipping operations.
~
Her latest foray with a tree was supervising John Cary this week as he cut down a tree that was leaning over our patio. I wasn’t aware of this activity until she complained about her arm hurting where a tree limb had hit her.

She’d forgotten to share that little detail when she showed me that the “ugly” tree had been cut back. I seems that the little woman who’s restricted from bending, lifting and twisting had somehow decided she could catch the smaller limbs and toss them over the fence to the wood pile.
~
Like I’ve said before; Annette is the unstoppable force.
~~~~~
After I posted Josiah's funeral home question, several folks sent me their stories;
~
Here's a little funny and it is true. A couple of weeks ago, I was at a funeral sitting with my niece, Cassie and BIL, George. George had his precious granddaughter sitting next to him...Sara. Their family had 2 funerals to attend that day so Sara, who is 4, was rather tired and had been at the funeral home all day. After sitting in the pews for about 15 minutes, Sara got fidgety and looked up at Cassie and asked, "When does this show start?" Out of the mouth of babes!!!
~
I love my kids. But I'd have skipped them if I could have gone straight to grandkids.
~
Joe's grandson was at a 'viewing' for his uncle, when he was about 7 or 8 and someone said, as they looked at his uncle in the casket,
"He looks just like he's sleeping."
(which people always say to make it seem better that a young man in the prime of life has died.)
And Jonathan very astutely said
"Well, he's not going to wake up - he's dead!"
~~~~~
Annette makes GREAT biscuits but occasionally liked to just drop by McDonald's for one. Until they quit making them fresh. At first they denied that these hockey pucks were any different. Then they admitted that corporate now sends out frozen biscuits for them to cook instead of the former ones that they mixed and rolled out at the local store. But they countered that their customers liked the new ones better. After a search around town, she found an acceptable biscuit at Dairy Queen. Not as good as hers nor as good as McDonald's used to be, but good enough in a pinch.
~~~~~
Quotes from some of my favorite folks:
~
Sherrie Rogers Carter
All it takes for evil to prosper is good men to do nothing!!!!!!!!!!!!!! unknown
~
Martha Chapman
"I would be most content if my children grew up to be the kind of people who think decorating consists mostly of building enough bookshelves." Anna Quindlen
~
Steve Ford
"There's always an Alien Battle Cruiser...or a Korlian Death Ray, or...an intergalactic plague about to wipe out life on this planet, and the only thing that lets people get on with their hopeful little lives is that they don't know about it." --Agent Kay, MIB.
~
Ron Hazelton: The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.~ Ronald Reagan
~
Nancee Davis Law
If you are going through Hell, don't stop.

I may not be perfect but Jesus thinks I'm to die for.
~
Robert Lyons
"The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary." - Vince Lombardi.
~
Jimmy Malone
When Jesus hits you where you live, it's gonna leave a mark. #neverthesame
~
If you want to find God’s address, look inside!
Mark Hankins
~
Amanda Warren-Newton
"Sometimes we must decide not to give up on our self while we are trying to grow in our relationship with God...He isn't going to give up on us, so neither should we" Joyce Meyer
~
Norma Kay Rowe - Being honest may not get you a lot of friends, but it'll always get you the right ones.
~
Where would we be if we listened to our grand-kids instead of our politicians?
~~~~~
AskBob - Geekly Update -
Free Tools to Recover Deleted Files [http://askbobrankin.com/free_tools_to_recover_deleted_files.html?awt_l=HZr.N&awt_m=Iiz7wyyUF8P6SL]
~~~~~
The latest from Michael Yon, the foremost “milnews” blogger on the web.
~
Wither we should have fought a war in Afghanistan or not, the fact is that we have now abandoned our soldiers there. Bottom line, once we announced that we were going to go home, we should have gone ahead and brought our soldiers home.
Instead, they are hung out as targets in a lost cause (sound familiar?) Please read this letter from a soldier to his dad and I strongly encourage you to contact your senator and congressman.
These are brave men and women, willing to do the job for us, but to be forgotten and left to just stand and be targeted is not what they signed up for.
Bug
~
Greetings,

If they did not hate me before, this should do it. This needs to be said.
[http://www.michaelyon-online.com/stuck-in-the-mud.htm]

Check out this letter from a Soldier in Afghanistan. You might not believe it. (Unless you have been there.) The Soldier's father sent it to me. I verified authenticity and then asked permission to publish.
[http://www.michaelyon-online.com/americas-dumbest-war-ever.htm]

Respectfully,
Michael Yon
~
You can sign up for Michael’s Twitter.com updates at "Michael_Yon" [http://twitter.com/Michael_Yon] (not Michael Yon).

You can sign up on his Face book [https://www.facebook.com/MichaelYonFanPage] for daily updates.

Please remember that this website accepts no advertisement and is dependent on your support.
~
www.michaelyon-online.com
~~~~~
If you would like to encourage US Troops overseas, but are not sure just how to begin, visit www.anysoldier.com for ideas.
~~~~~
Here's hoping today's stories make you go, "Oh, Wow!"

Gold Medalist Kerri Walsh Was Pregnant At The Olympics [http://darynkagan.demo.nimbussoftware.com/sports/2012/sp_120925_kerri_walsh_pregnant.html]
Yup, the Gold Medalist Volleyball star was pregnant while wearing those itty bitty bikinis and striking gold for the 3rd time.

Dad Sends Toy Into Space [http://darynkagan.demo.nimbussoftware.com/heroism/2012/he_120925_dad_sends_toy_in_space.html]
A dad and his young son give a favorite toy the ride of a lifetime. Cool adventure. No doubt you will smile. I know I did.

DarynKagan.com
~~~~~
http://www.shelfari.com
http://www.shelfari.com/bugsbleat/shelf
~~~~~
Photos on the front of this week’s “Bleat” include - - On the "Hard Hat Tour" at Hoover Dam.
Running Video at MCC in the old building.
Resurfacing US82 between Garland City and the hills.
Pat Hammock doing his "Fire" dance at A&M.
Med Chopper takes off from St. Michaels.
My favorite Brayton Fire Field Photo.
Our Fire Brigade ID tags.
~~~~~
For the latest issue of "Da Bleat" go to http://www.bugsbleat.blogspot.com.
Our photos are posted at http://www.bugsbleatphotos.blogspot.com.
~~~~~
Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
~~~~~
BreakPoint - - Religious Freedom & Democracy
The Sine Qua Non, Part 3 of 3
By: Eric Metaxas

When Benjamin Franklin emerged from the Constitutional Convention in Philadelphia in 1787, a lady asked him, “Well, Mr. Franklin, what kind of government have you given us?” The old patriot gave his immortal reply, “Madam, we have given you a republic—if you can keep it.”

On Tuesday and Wednesday, we looked at the critical issue of whether we have what it takes to keep the American republic, through the lens of Os Guinness’s provocative and powerful new book, A Free People’s Suicide: Sustainable Freedom and the American Future.

The Constitution that Franklin and the Founders produced is dependent on what Guinness calls the Golden Triangle, which says that freedom requires virtue, and virtue requires faith, and that faith requires freedom.

The Founders knew this well. “We have no government armed with powers capable of contending with human passions unbridled by morality and religion,” John Adams said. “Avarice, ambition, revenge or gallantry would break the strongest cords of our Constitution as a whale goes through a net. Our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other.”

Virtually all of the Founders thought the same thing—whether they were Christians or not. As the non-Christian Ben Franklin said, “If Men are so wicked as we see them with Religion, what would they be without it?” For the Founders, the answer was crystal clear.

Thus, it’s no surprise that these men enshrined freedom of religion in the First Amendment. Religious liberty, commonly known as the “first freedom,” is absolutely at the heart of our republic, and without it, we lose everything.

While the Founders knew all this, we seem to have forgotten it. I’m shocked that we who claim to follow Christ are not focused on this issue as the elections approach. We’re more focused on economic and fiscal issues, which are also important, but our problems in these areas are symptomatic of deeper issues—in our leaders and in the American people.

The current administration apparently doesn’t understand, or doesn’t care to understand, the crucial importance of religious freedom to our experiment in ordered liberty. Maybe that’s why it has taken very definite steps to assert the primacy of so-called “sexual freedom” over religious freedom. This is not merely a matter of redefining marriage or forcing religious institutions to violate their consciences and pay for contraception, sterilizations, and the morning-after pill.

It’s a matter of a culture slowly but surely destroying itself—or, as Guinness says, “a free people’s suicide.”

But even a bare “freedom” is not enough. Guinness talks about two kinds of liberty. Negative freedom frees us from external constraint, such as overweening government. And that’s important. But Guinness says we also have to focus on positive freedom—the freedom to live out our highest ideals. It’s not just freedom from, but freedom for, that our republic desperately needs.

A Free People’s Suicide, is a superb book. You can get a copy at the BreakPoint bookstore online—please read it, and share it.
And folks, this weekend on “BreakPoint This Week,” you can listen to Os Guinness talk about “A Free People’s Suicide” with me and John Stonestreet. It’s a great discussion. If you can’t tune in on radio, you can listen by going to BreakPoint.org and clicking on “This Week.” Please, don’t miss it.

Further Reading and Information

A Free People’s Suicide [http://www.colsoncenterstore.org/product.asp?sku=9780830834655]
Os Guinness | IVP Books | August 2012

Os Guinness, author of A Free People's Suicide
Youtube.com [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2wSWZqjEMQ]

Renewing Virtue [http://www.colsoncenterstore.org/product.asp?sku=2191_VIRTUE]
1G Flash Drive containing video and text lessons on the Cardinal virtues | Chuck Colson, T.M. Moore, John Stonestreet, Dr. Timothy George | Colson Center

Copyright © 2012 Prison Fellowship. All Rights Reserved
[http://www.breakpoint.org/bpcommentaries]
~~~~~
Residents of Columbia County, Arkansas are represented in Congress by:
~
Senator John Boozman (R_ AR)
1 Russell Courtyard
Washington DC, 20510
Phone: 202-224-4843
http://boozman.senate.gov/
~
Senator Mark Pryor (D_ AR)
Phone 202_224_2353
FAX 202_228_0908
http://pryor.senate.gov/
~
Representative Michael A. Ross (D _ 04)
Phone 202_225_3772
FAX 202_225_1314
http://ross.house.gov/
Other states congresspersons can be found at: [http://www.visi.com/juan/congress/]
~~~~~
"Today's Seed" from E-MIN - Jonah 3:1-5-10
~~~~~
"The only test of leadership is that somebody follows." - Robert K. Greenleaf

"It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat." - Theodore Roosevelt

"Education is for improving the lives of others and for leaving your community and world better than you found it." - Marian Wright Edelman

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Make no little plans; they have no magic to stir men's blood." - Daniel Burnham

"He who receives an idea from me, receives instruction himself without lessening mine; as he who lights his taper at mine, receives light without darkening me." - Thomas Jefferson

"Believe in those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it." - Andre Gide
~~~~~
BREAKING CHRISTIAN NEWS
http://breakingchristiannews.com/

Denzel Washington's "Tremendous" Holy Spirit Experience - - Teresa Neumann (Sep 24, 2012)

"It did frighten me. I was slobbering, crying, sweating. My cheeks blew up. I was purging. It was almost too intense. It almost drove me away." -Denzel Washington

Denzel and PauletteIn a recent interview with GQ magazine, outspoken Christian Denzel Washington shared about a spiritual experience he had during a service at West Angeles Church of God in Christ, the church he still attends.

It happened thirty years ago when the preacher was preaching about just "letting go," and Washington decided to do just that.

"I had this tremendous physical and spiritual experience," said Washington. "It did frighten me. I was slobbering, crying, sweating. My cheeks blew up. I was purging."

Denzel Washington “It was almost too intense," he said. "It almost drove me away. I called my mother, and she said I was being filled with the Holy Spirit. I was like, 'Does that mean I can never have wine again?'"

Click on the link provided to read more about Washington, his career, his family, and his politics.

Source: Michael Hainey – GQ [http://www.gq.com/entertainment/celebrities/201210/denzel-washington-interview-gq-october-2012?currentPage=1]
~
Marriage: Best Antidote to Child Poverty
Robert Rector (Sep 24, 2012)

Marriage remains America's strongest anti-poverty weapon, yet it continues to decline. Just as government discourages youth from dropping out of school, it should clearly and forcefully articulate the value of marriage.

A lengthy report from The Heritage Foundation verifies what many people of faith have long known: Marriage is key to family and attempts to circumvent it or replace it are failing. The following are just excerpts from the report. Follow the link provided to read it in its entirety and view several detailed charts:

Child poverty is an ongoing national concern, but few are aware that its principle cause is the absence of married fathers in the home. Marriage remains America's strongest anti-poverty weapon, yet it continues to decline. As husbands disappear from the home, poverty and welfare dependence will increase, and children and parents will suffer as a result. Since marital decline drives up child poverty and welfare dependence, and since the poor aspire to healthy marriage but lack the norms, understanding, and skills to achieve it, it is reasonable for government to take active steps to strengthen marriage. Just as government discourages youth from dropping out of school, it should provide information that will help people to form and maintain healthy marriages and delay childbearing until they are married and economically stable. In particular, clarifying the severe shortcomings of the "child first, marriage later" philosophy to potential parents in lower-income communities should be a priority.

Marriage graph Critically, almost none of the lower-income women who have a child out of wedlock feel that it is important to be married before having children. Although roughly half of non-married mothers were cohabiting with the father at the time of birth (nearly 75 percent were in some sort of romantic relationship with the father), these relationships are usually of short duration and unstable. Mutual understanding and commitment are lacking, and although the couples usually think and speak favorably about marriage, most tend to drift apart after the child is born.

However, low-income non-married parents are not hostile to marriage as an institution or a life goal. Ironically, most highly esteem marriage and, in fact, tend to over idealize it. Most low-income young women have traditional family goals; they hope to have a husband, children, a minivan, and a house in the suburbs "with a white picket fence." Tragically, few have a life plan that will enable them to realize their goals.

A major obstacle is that most low-income women plan to marry after having children, not before. Their life plan is the exact opposite of the normal sequence in the upper middle class. In the upper middle class, men and women still follow the traditional pattern: A man and woman become attracted to each other; a relationship develops; the couple assess each other and at some point deliberately choose to become lifetime partners; emotional bonds deepen; they marry and after a few years have children. The lowest-income third of the U.S. population, this traditional sequence of family formation and childbearing is now explicitly reversed. Women first have children and then seek to find or build a stable relationship that will eventually lead to marriage. Typically, low-income single mothers do not see marriage either as an important part of childrearing or as an important element of financial security or upward social mobility. Instead, marriage is seen as a symbolic event that should occur later in adult life. Marriage is regarded as an important ceremony that will celebrate one's eventual arrival in the middle class rather than as a vital pathway that leads upward to the attainment of middle-class status.

Low-income single mothers "believe that marriage, not children, is what requires the years of careful planning and preparation and [that] childbearing is something that happens along the way." While conceiving a child with a man you have known only a few months is not a problem, most non-married mothers believe they should get to know a man steadily for four or five years before marrying him. The idea that you should carefully select a suitable partner and diligently build a successful relationship with him before conceiving a child is a foreign concept.

In many communities, the pattern of children first and (hopefully) marriage later is so entrenched that couples have difficulty understanding an alternative; but as a means for building long-term loving relationships and nurturing homes for children, this pattern is a disaster. While low-income young women earnestly dream of having children, a husband, and a house in the suburbs with a white picket fence, they have no practical plan to make this dream a reality. Sadly, their choice to have children before marriage and before forming a stable committed relationship with the child's father usually leads to the opposite outcome, dooming mothers and children to lives of poverty and struggle.

In summary, the strong desire to have children coupled with the belief that it is not important to be married before having children explains the dramatic rise in out-of-wedlock childbearing in lower-income communities. While most non-marital pregnancies are not deliberately planned, they are also not seriously avoided. The unfortunate reality is that children are usually born haphazardly to couples in unstable, uncommitted relationships that fall apart within a few years after their children are born.

Marriage is highly beneficial to children, adults, and society; it needs to be encouraged and strengthened. Under current government policies, however, marriage is either ignored or undermined. This needs to change.

Source: The Heritage Foundation
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GCF: Tornado Warning

A family took shelter in the basement after hearing a tornado warning. The father told everyone to stay put while he got his cell phone out of the car, in case the lines went dead.

He didn't return for the longest time, so the wife went looking for him. She was upstairs calling his name, when she heard the answering machine click on.

"Hi," a voice said. "This is Dad. I'm locked out of the house."
_ _______________ _
GCF: The Boss

A group of men at the office were talking when one man said, "In my house I am the boss, and I say when the laundry is done, when the cooking is done and when the dishes are washed."

One of the other guys asked, "How long have you been married?"

The man says, "Oh, I'm not married!"
_ _______________ _
GCF: CD Player

I wanted to buy a CD player, but was completely perplexed by one model's promotional sign. So I called the salesclerk over and asked,
"What does 'hybrid pulse D/A converter' mean?"

He said, "That means that this machine will read the digital information that is encoded on CDs and convert it into an audio signal."

"In other words," I said, "this CD player plays CDs."

"Exactly."

_ _______________ _
GCF: The Message

Mother to four-year-old: "How did you get that big bruise on your leg?"

"It's not a bruise, Mommy. It's a message."

"How did it happen?"

"Well, I was jumping on the couch even though you told me not to, and I fell off and hit the table. That's when I finally got the message."
_ _______________ _
GCF: Croutons

To make ends meet, I wait tables at a popular restaurant on weekends.
After ordering the lunch special, one couple requested extra croutons on their salads, so I complied.

But returning to the table to refill their coffee cups, I noticed they had set all the croutons aside. Thinking I had misunderstood their request, I apologized for giving them so many.

"There's been no mistake, we did ask for extra," the man replied. "They're a favorite of our goats."
_ _______________ _
GCF: Flashlights

Flashlights used by my National Guard unit can withstand almost anything. And to prove it, they come with a lifetime warranty.

Nevertheless, nothing is indestructible, which is why the warranty also cautions, "Void with shark bites, bear attacks and children under the age of five."
_ _______________ _
GCF: Outdoor Gear

Duck decoys, fishing rods, boots -- outdoor gear of all kinds was piled high in the garage. One day I found my wife staring at the mess. "I hope I die first, so I don't have to get rid of all this," she sighed.

"Look on the bright side," I suggested. "If I go first, you can put an ad in the paper. When all the men come by to check out the stuff, you can pick out a replacement for me."

Still staring at the pile, she said, "Nah. Whoever would want all this stuff wouldn't be my type."
_ _______________ _
GCF: Favorite Candy

Our phone rang late one night, and my wife Nancy picked it up. She said, "KitKat," and hung up.

"Who was that?"

"Some boy for Carolyn," she said, referring to our daughter.

"What now?" I asked.

"He plans to ask Carolyn to the prom and wanted to know what her favorite candy is. He's going to put the invitation into a candy basket."

The next morning a basket of candy was on our porch.

"But, Mom," our daughter protested when she heard the story, "KitKat isn't my favorite candy."

"I know," Nancy said. "It's mine."
_ _______________ _
GCF: You Stink!

It was a particularly tough football game, and nerves were on edge.
The home team had been the victim of three or four close calls, and they were now trailing the visitors by a touchdown and a field goal.
When the official called yet another close one in the visitor's favor, the home quarterback blew his top.

"How many times can you do this to us in a single game?" he screamed.
"You were wrong on the out-of-bounds call, you were wrong on that last holding call, and you failed to say anything about a late hit in the first quarter."

The official just stared. The quarterback seethed, but he tried to suppress language that might get him tossed out of the game. "What it comes down to," he bellowed, "is that YOU STINK!"

The official stared a few more seconds. Then he bent down, picked up the ball, paced off 15 yards, and put the ball down. He turned to face the steaming quarterback.

"And how do I smell from here?" he asked.

_ _____________________________________ _
GCF: First Day of Psychiatry Class

Psychiatry students were in their Emotional Extremes class.

"Let's set some parameters," the professor said. "What's the opposite of joy?" he asked one student.

"Sadness," was the replied.

"The opposite of depression?" he asked another student.

"Elation," he replied.

"The opposite of woe?" the professor asked a young woman from Texas.

The Texan replied, "Sir, I believe that would be giddyup."
_ _______________ _
GCF: Stuck in an Elevator

The elevator in our building malfunctioned one day, leaving several of us stranded. Seeing a sign that listed two emergency phone numbers, I dialed the first and explained our situation.

After what seemed to be a very long silence, the voice on the other end said, "I don't know what you expect me to do for you. I'm a psychologist."

"A psychologist?" I replied. "Your phone is listed here as an emergency number. Can't you help us?"

"Well," he finally responded in a measured tone. "How do you feel about being stuck in an elevator?"
_ _______________ _
GCF: Being Polite

One day, Bill and Tom went to a restaurant for dinner. As soon as the waiter brought out two steaks, Bill quickly picked out the bigger steak for himself.

Tom wasn't happy about that: "When are you going to learn to be polite?"

Bill: "If you had the chance to pick first, which one would you pick?"

Tom: "The smaller piece, of course."

Bill: "What are you complaining about? The smaller piece is what you got, right?"
_ _______________ _
GCF: Paying Bills

I was in small-claims court when I listened in on the case of a woman who held a good job but still had trouble paying her bills on time.

"Can't you live within your income?" asked the judge.

"No, Your Honor," she said. "It's all I can do to live within my credit."
_ _______________ _
GCF: Late to School

The father said " My son used to be late to school every day. I fixed that when I bought him a used car!"

"Now, he is there early every day, to get a parking spot!"
_ _______________ _
/ )| Thomas S. Ellsworth |( \
/ / | tellswor@kcbx.net | \ \
_( (_ | http://www.kcbx.net/~tellswor | _) )_
(((\ \>|_/ )__________________( \_||_/ )__________________( \_||_/ )__________________( \_||_/ )__________________( \_||_/ )__________________( \_||_/ )__________________( \_||_/ )__________________( \_||_/ )__________________( \_||_/ )__________________( \_||_/ )__________________( \_||_/ )__________________( \_||_/ )__________________( \_||_/ )__________________( \_||_/ )__________________( \_||_/ )__________________( \_|<> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
I very quietly confided to my best friend that I was having an affair.
She turned to me and asked, 'Are you having it catered'?
And that's the definition of "old"
~
Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, 'How old was your husband?'
'98,' she replied: 'Two years older than me'
'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented.
She responded, 'Hardly worth going home, is it?'
~
Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: 'And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?' the reporter asked.
She simply replied, 'No peer pressure.'
~
I've sure gotten old!
I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,
new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes
I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet
engine, take 40 different medications that
Make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.
Have bouts with dementia.
Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands
and feet anymore.
Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92.
Have lost all my friends. But, thank God,
I still have my driver's license.
~
I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape,
so I got my doctor's permission to Join a fitness club and start exercising.
I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.
I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour… But, by the time I got my leotards on,
The class was over.
~
An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and
told her preacher she had two final requests.
First, she wanted to be cremated, and second,
she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart.

'Wal-Mart?' the preacher exclaimed.
'Why Wal-Mart?'

'Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week'
~
My memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
~
Know how to prevent sagging?
Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.
~
It's scary when you start making the same noises as
your coffee maker.
~
These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart
says, 'For fast relief.'
~
Always REMEMBER this:
You don't stop laughing because you grow old,
You grow old because you stop laughing...
~
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:
I don't want to brag or make anyone jealous or anything, but I can still fit into the earrings
I wore in high school
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Pilot’s Check List

1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.

2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again.

3. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.

4. It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here.

5. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.

6. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating.

7. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky.

8. A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great' landing is one after which they can use the plane again.

9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself.

10. You know you've landed with the wheels up if it takes full power to taxi to the ramp.

11. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival and vice versa.

12. Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five minutes earlier.

13. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be another airplane going in the opposite direction. Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds.

14. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take offs you've made.

15. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately no one knows what they are.

16. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.

17. Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels them.

18. If all you can see out of the window is ground that's going round and round and all you can hear is commotion coming from the passenger compartment, things are not at all as they should be.

19. In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum going hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose.

20. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience usually comes from bad judgment.

21. It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much as possible.

22. Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed.

23. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. And it's not subject to repeal.

24. The three most useless things to a pilot are the altitude above you, runway behind you, and a tenth of a second ago.
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Loving Parents

As Gayle was getting to know Jim and his family, she was very impressed by how much his parents loved each other.

"They're so thoughtful," Gayle said. "Why, your dad even brings your mom a cup of hot coffee in bed every morning."

After a time, Gayle and Jim were engaged, and then they married. On the way from the wedding to the reception, Gayle again remarked on Jim's loving parents and even the coffee in bed.

"Tell me," she said, "does it run in the family?"

"It sure does," replied Jim. "And I take after my mom."

Received from Big Mac Clean Joke Attack.

(_:][:_)

Chore List

My parents are both busy professional people and have trouble finding time for chores and home maintenance. On weekends they each make a list of things to be done. Father's list is never completely crossed off, but Mother's always is. Puzzled, I asked her how she managed that.

"Simple," she answered with a satisfied grin. "I do the chore first, and then I put it on the list and cross it off!"

(_:][:_)

Groaner: Retiring Cop

A detective who spent his entire career in plain clothes quit the police force and bought a farm.

"What kind of crops do you plan to grow?" the police chief asked the farmer-to-be.

"Carrots and potatoes," the man replied.

"Why carrots and potatoes?" asked the chief.

"Because," answered the ex-detective, "I'm very fond of undercover crops."

(_:][:_)

Dear ...

Dear Ugly People, You're welcome.
Sincerely,
Alcohol

Dear Noah,
We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5.
Sincerely,
Unicorns

Dear Icebergs,
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma stinks.
Sincerely,
The Titanic

Dear America,
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
Sincerely,
Canada

Dear Yahoo,
I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it." Just saying...
Sincerely,
Google

Dear Saturn,
I liked it, so I put a ring on it.
Sincerely,
God

Dear Batman,
What was your power again?
Sincerely,
Superman

Dear Customers,
Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.
Sincerely,
Nail Salon Ladies

Dear World,
Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars end there because some Spanish dirtbags invaded our country and we got a little busy, OK?
Sincerely,
The Mayans

(_:][:_)

Pit Crew

The Ferrari F1 Racing Team recently fired the whole pit crew to employ some young unemployed youths from Liverpool. The decision to hire them was brought on by a documentary on how unemployed youths in the Liverpool area can remove a set of car wheels in less than four seconds without proper equipment. This was thought to be a good move as most races are won and lost in the pits these days, and Ferrari would thus have an advantage.

However, Ferrari soon encountered a major problem: Not only were the lads changing the tires in under four seconds, but within another ten seconds had also repainted, renumbered, and sold the vehicle to the McLaren team.

(_:][:_)

Economics Exam

Not expecting to do well on the economics exam, Bill was heartened by the first question: In any given year, and to the nearest ton, how much wheat did the United States export?

Smiling confidently, he wrote, "In 1492, none."

(_:][:_)

Farmer Jones

Farmer Jones was telling a story about milking cows by hand.
On one occasion as he was milking, a fly was flying around his head. As he shewed it away it flew up to the cows head and right into her ear.

And as he was milking he seen a fly drop in to the bucket. He figured it must have gone into one ear and out the udder.

(_:][:_)

Menopause Jewelry

My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods.

We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his forehead.

Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond. Stupid man!

(_:][:_)

Old Man

When I joined the Army at age 23, I didn't realize I was that much older than most recruits until we had our first physical-training test. The maximum score for the five events was 500 points, and I was the only trainee in our platoon to get 400.

The drill sergeant called me to stand alone in front of the assembled platoon, and I thought I was about to be praised.

But, turning to the other trainees, he barked, "If that old man can get 400 points, just think what the rest of you should have scored!"

(_:][:_)

Honesty Quotes

Regardless of policy, honesty is easier on the nerves.

The whole art of government consists in the art of being honest. - Thomas Jefferson

The badge of honesty is simplicity.

It matters not what you do;
Make a nation or a shoe;
For he who does an honest thing
In God's pure sight is ranked a king. - John Parnell

Even a little lie is dangerous; it deteriorates the conscience. And the importance of conscience is eternal, like love. - Pablo Casals

Not keeping an appointment is an act of clear dishonesty.
You may as well borrow a person's money as his time.

It takes an honest person to admit if he's tired or just lazy.

He who loses honesty has nothing else to lose.

There's one way to find out if a man is honest--ask him. If he says yes, you know he is a crook. - Groucho Marx

An honest man is the noblest work of God. - Alexander Pope

(_:][:_)

Father of the Bride

At a wedding rehearsal, the minister told the father of the bride, "As you give your daughter's hand to the bridegroom, you should say something nice to him."

The father, a grocery store manager, took the advice.

During the wedding ceremony, he placed the bride's hand on his son-in-law's arm and said, "No deposit, no return."

(_:][:_)

Groaner: Horse for Sale

An old farmer is outside for a walk around his land when he sees a sign on his neighbor's lawn: "Horse for Sale."
Curious, he decides to have a look-see. As he approaches his neighbor's stable, he sees his old Italian friend brushing down a fine-looking stallion.

"Hello, friend. I saw your sign out there and came over to see your horse for sale."

Now, the Italian farmer speaks very poor English, but he manages to answer well enough. "Yep, yep, disa is da horse for-a sale."

"This horse here?" quizzes the old farmer. "Why, he's a fine horse! Why-ever would you sell him?"

"Well," sighs the Italian farmer, "he no looka so good anymore."

The old farmer, convinced that his neighbor has lost his mind, makes the sale and leads the horse across his field over to the stable. As he taps the horse gently on the back to coax him into the stable, he watches as the horse misses the door completely and smacks head first into the wall. "That ol' cheat sold me a near blind horse!" growls the old farmer.

He then proceeds to storm over across the field, reigns in hand, to give his neighbor a piece of his mind. "You sold me a near blind horse, you ol' cheat, and you didn't even tell me!" he screams.

"Eh! I tolla you!" cries the Italian farmer. "I say, 'He no looka so good anymore!'"

(_:][:_)

Lying

A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17."

The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17. Every hand went up. The minister smiled and said, "Mark has only 16 chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying."

(_:][:_)

Hiccups Cure

A man goes into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist if he can give him something for the hiccups. The pharmacist promptly reaches out and slaps the man's face.

"What did you do that for?" the man asks.

"Well, you don't have the hiccups anymore, do you?"

The man says, "No, but my wife out in the car still does!"

--
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Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Column - - Fight Firewalls With Kindle [http://www.madkane.com/humor_blog/2010/01/30/blogs-kindle/] "My humorist pal Rose Valenta recently created a Kindle version of her blog and inspired me to do the same. Why? Because many employers are getting strict about web access, blocking employees from reading their favorite blogs and sites ..."

© Madeleine Begun Kane. All Rights Reserved.
http://www.madkane.com/
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"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." __ Franklin D. Roosevelt
"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. _ _ George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" _ _ Queen E. Watson
“A political class of Republicans and Democrats that look after themselves, not the Nation. A media hostile to the very precepts of this nation. A generation of Americans who see morals as vices, and are ignorant of America's Actual History.”
"The things that will destroy America are prosperity-at-any-price, peace-at-any-price, safety-first instead of duty-first, the love of soft living, and the get-rich-quick theory of life." - - Theodore Roosevelt
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Emergency Phone Number 911
(Fire, Police, Ambulance, Sheriff, etc. )
Central Dispatch 234_5655
(Non _ Emergency Number)
Direct Numbers
Ambulance _ 234_7371 (24 Hour)
Jail _ 234_5331 (24 Hour)
Poison Control _ 800_222_1222 (24 Hour)
http://www. aapcc. org/
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Interested in getting in touch with the Banner_News through e_mail? editor@bannernews.net For the editor, news@bannernews.net For news and sports items, Coming Events, Diary, Church News, school and civic events. [http://www.bannernews.net/]
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"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." __ "Bug"
"I read the end of the book. We win!" __ "Bug"
"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." __ "Bug"
"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." _ _ "Bug"
"It's no big deal doing what God tells you to do. A big deal would be NOT doing what God tells you to do. Just ask Jonah." _ _ Paul Troquille
“Nam et ipsa scientia potestas est.” Knowledge is power. _ Francis Bacon
"The problem is here and now. The time for talk is past. The time for action is now."
Comments on the first Earth Day _ James F. McClellan via John "Fuzzy" Thurman
~~~~~
Hope you enjoy the newsletter.
Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" __"Bug"
God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
God is Good and Faithful CU 73 IC JFM CSP NREMT_I KC5HII

P. S. If you'd like to be added to the distribution, just drop us E_mail at kc5hii@suddenlink.net
. We offer "Da Bleat" as text, a "Blog" and as a newsletter with pictures in Word and PDF format. The latest issue is usually updated sometime Saturday. For the latest issue, go to http://www.bugsbleat.blogspot.com. We also have a site [http://bugsbleatphotos.blogspot.com/] where we post photos that I like.
We appreciate your encouragement. We also appreciate your communication when you desire to be taken off our mail list. If you are on this mail list by mistake or do not wish to receive "Da Bleat," please reply back and tell us to discontinue service to you. This email was scanned by Norton AntiVirus 2012 before it was sent.
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Remember McClellan's Rules

1. Rejoice in that this is the will of the Lord concerning you.
If that doesn't seem to be working, remember;
2. All things work together for the good of them who love the Lord.
If that doesn't seem to be working, remember;
3. All things are subject to change.
And finally;
4. Don't let the son of a guns get you down!
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Sunday, September 23, 2012

Bug’s Bleat - - GCF: Grocery Bag

Volume 14, Issue 37 Friday, September 21, 2012

Our favorite flight nurse/paramedic, Lou, gives Annette a hug before loading Uncle Mike into Life Net's helicopter.


Annette reaches out to hug Julannia who is being held by her dad, Brandt and is sporting her new glasses.


I took this photo of a "Fire Tornado" at the old foam project on Brayton Fire Training Grounds.


These deer were standing along East Columbia Street. Annette photographed them as we drove to church last Sunday.


Lou and her crew load Uncle Mike for the flight to Texarkana.



Hello ALL,

"Annette’s games" - - The “Wife Of My Youth” has always been a winner. And she’s enjoyed playing games all our married life. When she was younger, she was a “killer” at video games, regularly beating the kids.

Activision’s “River Raid” was one of her favorites. There was a line of neighborhood kids who tried to beat her and failed. But that championship is in the past. She rarely plays video games these days. Sudoku and Crosswords are her games of choice today. Those and the games she plays with me.

Annette has several games she likes to play with me, such as the phone number game. She will ask me to call someone for her, and give me the number. Now I can’t remember numbers. I’m just not wired that way. But Annette, and her whole family, can remember just about any number. She remembers addresses, how much the dry cleaner charged for that jacket or what our water bill was in January. And phone numbers are a chinch for her. Except …. She doesn’t always remember which number goes with a particular name. So she’ll ask me to call someone, the dry cleaner for example, and she’ll give me the number. I’ll dial the number and … sometimes it is the dry cleaner. Or it might be the bank or our next door neighbor or … well you get the idea. When I tell her that I got homeland security when I called that number, she gives me another number.

Are you familiar with the odds of flipping a coin? No matter how many times you flip a coin. No matter how many times it falls heads or tails up. The odds of it being heads (or tails) on the next flip are always 50 / 50. And the odds of Annette giving me the correct number when she wants me to make a call are the same … 50 / 50. Actually, it’s kind of fun, sort of like that old party game where you pulled on the “popper” and got a prize. Annette’s phone number game is the same. Sometimes you get who you thought you were dialing. Sometimes it’s someone else. And sometimes, it’s a really fun number (like the IRS or Barksdale Air Force Base.)

Another of her most fun games is the fast food drive through game. There are two options to this game.

Option one consists of her giving me intricate instructions for her order and then seeing if I and the store got it right. For instance, when I go to McDonald’s for breakfast, I usually get a number 4 with a small coffee. That’s the order. The total order.

When Annette orders breakfast at McDonalds it will be something like … Pancakes, with just one pancake and substitute a biscuit for the other pancake, a strawberry jelly, two butters, three syrups and a coffee with one equal but don’t put it in the coffee, she’ll do that because she doesn’t want the whole equal and some plain creamer placed in the cup before the coffee is poured so it’s properly mixed.

Or she’ll send me for Chinese. I’ll get Sesame Chicken. She’ll give me the following instructions for her order: “Hunan Chicken, with fried rice but no chicken pieces in the rice. No broccoli or green bell pepper but red bell pepper is o.k., just not more than ten pieces. Replace the broccoli and green pepper with extra snow pea pods. Small mushrooms are o.k. but not big pieces and make sure the rice is fresh.
She wins if the store and I don’t get it right. I win if her order is right.
Her other fast food game is going with me to order and pick up the food. Then, just as we approach the microphone, she’ll get on the phone and start talking to one of the kids. As I try to order, she’ll give me her choices in small snippets interspersed with her conversation on the phone.

I think this is even more fun for her because she gets to be there and watch as the store employee and I vainly try to interpret her instructions, given us in such short pieces. This is usually followed by a trip back to the store to correct whatever was wrong with the order. I think, for her, it’s sort of like playing fetch with the dog. Except there’s more than one ball laying in the back yard. :0)
~~~~~
Our grandson Ethan was talking about “Happy Meals” and “WackyPaks” (if you don’t know what I’m referring to, you don’t have grandkids.) Ethan said “We shouldn’t get the meals with toys at McDonald’s or Sonic.” “Why?” I asked. “Well, they’re food places, not toy stores. You get a better toy and a better deal at Wal-Mart.” Out of the mouths of babes.
~~~~~
KIDS IN CHURCH
~
3-year-old Reese: 'Our Father, Who does art in heaven, Harold is His name.
Amen.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A little boy was overheard praying: 'Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it.
I'm having a real good time like I am.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After the christening of his baby brother in church, Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.
His father asked him three times what was wrong.
Finally, the boy replied, 'That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I wanted to stay with you guys.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One particular four-year-old prayed, 'And forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Sunday school teacher asked her children as they were on the way to church service, 'And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?'
One bright little girl replied, 'Because people are sleeping.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin 5, and Ryan 3
The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake.
Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson.
'If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, 'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.'
Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, ' Ryan, you be Jesus!’
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A father was at the beach with his children when the four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore where a seagull lay dead in the sand...
'Daddy, what happened to him?' the son asked.
'He died and went to Heaven,' the Dad replied.
The boy thought a moment and then said, 'Did God throw him back down?'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A wife invited some people to dinner.
At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said, 'Would you like to say the blessing?'
'I wouldn't know what to say,' the girl replied.
'Just say what you hear Mommy say,' the wife answered.
The daughter bowed her head and said, 'Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thanks to Gracie Lou Murphy
~~~~~
Those remind me of the question Josiah had when his great grandma passed away. We’d been careful to explain to him that Mammaw Dorothy had gone to heaven.
The day before the funeral, the family gathered at the funeral home to view the body before the evening viewing...
Josiah was very quiet as we walked into the room, filled with flowers and fine furniture with a casket sitting in the middle.
The undertakers had opened the casket and we each passed by, lifting the little ones to see. Then the family took a seat and started visiting quietly.
Josiah continued looking around the room, then came over to me and asked; “Is this Heaven?”
~~~~~
Blonde MEN Jokes


A friend told the blonde man: "Christmas is on a Friday this year."
The blond man then said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th."
------------------------------------
Two blonde men find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station. One asked: "What if one explodes before we get there?"
The other says: "We'll lie and say we only found two."
------------------------------------
A blonde man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts: "Did you find the shampoo?"
He answers, "Yes, but I'm not sure what to do... it's for dry hair, and I've just wet mine."
------------------------------
A blonde man goes to the vet with his goldfish.
"I think it's got epilepsy," he tells the vet.
The vet takes a look and says, "It seems calm enough to me."
The blonde man says, "Wait, I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet."
------------------------------------
A blond man shouts frantically into the phone "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" asks the Doctor.
"No!" he shouts, "this is her husband!"
------------------------------------
A blonde man was driving home, drunk as a skunk.
Suddenly he has to swerve to avoid a tree, then another, then another.
A cop car pulls him over, so he tells the cop about all the trees in the road.
The cop says, "That's your air freshener swinging about!"
------------------------------------
A blonde man's dog goes missing and he is frantic.
His wife says "Why don't you put an ad in the paper?"
He does, but two weeks later the dog is still missing.
"What did you put in the paper?" his wife asks.
"Here boy!" he replies.
------------------------------------
A blonde man is in jail. Guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet. "Just WHAT are you doing?" he asks.
"Hanging myself," the blond replies.
"It should be around your neck" says the guard.
"I tried that," he replies, "but then I couldn't breathe."
------------------------------------
(This one actually makes sense.)
An Italian tourist asks a blonde man: "Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?"
To which the blonde man replies: "If they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat."
~
Thanks to Waneta
~~~~~
Paraprosdokians (Winston Churchill loved them) are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous. Enjoy!

1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.
3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit... Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
10. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, Notify:' I put 'DOCTOR'.
11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
13. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure...
14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
16. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
17. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it’s getting harder and harder for me to find one now
~
Thanks to Waneta
~~~~~
Florida - -
A Florida senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.

"Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-95, pushing the pedal even more.
Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a Florida State Trooper, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this!" and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.

Pulling in behind him, the trooper got out of his vehicle and walked up to the Corvette. He looked at his watch, and then said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a new reason for speeding--a reason I've never before heard -- I'll let you go."

The old gentleman paused then said: "Three years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back.

"Have a good day, Sir," replied the trooper.
-----------------------
Georgia - - The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.

He called her into his office and said, "Y'all graduated from the University of Georgia and I need some help. If I wuz to give yew $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"

The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everthang but my earrings."
-----------------------
Louisiana - - A senior citizen in Louisiana was overheard saying ... "When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana.”

When asked why, he replied, "I'd rather be in Louisiana 'cause everythang happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the world."
-----------------------
Mississippi - - The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!"

Bubba replied, "Did y'all see who it was?"

The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."
-----------------------
South Carolina - - A man in South Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait.

A passerby studied the scene as he drove by, and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.

The man replied, "I got a flat tire."

The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"

The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back. I never did understand it neither."
-----------------------
North Carolina - - A North Carolina State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-85. The trooper asked, "Got any ID?"

The driver replied, "Bout whut?"
-----------------------
Texas - - The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch. The Sheriff asked, "Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don't you see that sign right over your head."

"Yep," he replied. "That's why I'm dumpin' it here, 'cause it says: 'Fine For Dumping Garbage.' "
-----------------------
Y'all kin say whut ya want 'bout the South, but y'all ain't never heard o' nobody retirin' an' movin' North.
~
Thanks to Waneta
~~~~~
A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping

for me and buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6."

A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.

The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"

He replied, "They had eggs."
~
Another fine one from Waneta
~~~~~
SCAM ALERT: Rabbit TV - - Category: Gadgets, Telephony

How would you like to get over 2000 TV channels and 1000 radio stations on your Internet-enabled PC? How about if it costs just $10, plus another $7.99 for shipping? And what if it came on a 'free' USB flash drive? If that sounds good to you, then you’re a sucker. Read on to learn about the Rabbit TV scam...

Read more: http://askbobrankin.com/scam_alert_rabbit_tv.html#ixzz27HR1hBg3
http://askbobrankin.com/scam_alert_rabbit_tv.html?awt_l=HZr.N&awt_m=J7PLs8VqJ8P6SL
~~~~~
Shale gas forum touts resurgence of U.S. manufacturing industry - - The U.S. natural gas boom is fueling the country's manufacturing sector through low natural gas prices, presenting a huge competitive advantage for firms that produce in the U.S., according to industry experts who spoke at Shale Gas Insight 2012. Natural gas and natural gas liquids such as ethane are "the secret sauce of the chemical industry," said Martha Gilchrist Moore, senior director of policy analysis and economics at the American Chemistry Council. An ACC study shows that an increase of about 25% in ethane production would lead to $132 billion in increased economic output as well as 40,000 direct and indirect chemical industry jobs, she added. The Oklahoman (Oklahoma City) (9/21) [http://newsok.com/u.s.-manufacturing-sector-prospers-with-natural-gas-boom/article/3711511]
~~~~~
Mustard Seed Financial

Train Up a Child About Money

Have you ever argued with your teenager about the cost of an item of clothing in the store? You thought the price was outrageous and they countered with “But all my friends have one of these!” Years ago when my kids were growing up we used to have discussions over the annual school clothes budget. I never could get my head around tennis shoes and jeans costing $100 a pair or more. So one year we came up with the idea of an annual clothing allowance. Each kid got a fixed amount of money and it was theirs to spend on clothing as they chose. If one kid wanted a jacket that was perhaps extravagant in my view, it was their money and they didn’t have to justify the purchase to us. But they did have to contend with the fact that it came out of their clothing budget and that the budget was a limited amount. If there were funds left at the end of the year, they got to keep the balance.

As I recall, my kids became more careful about the choices they made in buying clothing. There’s nothing like spending your own money to make you a discriminating shopper. Sometime back I got a call from my son, who had been watching some Dave Ramsey material. He said Dave Ramsey brought up the concept of a clothing budget for kids as a way to teach them about money and it brought back a few memories.

Teaching kids about money may not be at the top of your list as a parent. But we live in a world where easy credit and over consumption are prevalent. As a parent or grandparent, you should consider whether you want to ingrain your kids with healthy financial habits or let society do the training. Mary Hunt, the author of a recent book, “Raising Financially Competent Kids” says many parents often neglect basic training about finances. The main reason, according to Hunt, is that parents feel financially inept themselves.

Teaching responsible financial behavior is best taught by example. Take the situation of a five year old shopping with you. They are constantly asking for a toy or a snack they see on the shelf. You eventually give in and buy them one or more items. Perhaps if you get out with only one item, you feel like you won the battle. Here’s an alternative plan: prior to entering the store, give them a fixed sum, maybe a dollar, and explain that it is their money to spend any way they like. As you go through the store, point out prices on things they ask about. That way, they learn about the value of money. Hunt points out that you should use cash here, coins and dollars, not debit cards or credit cards. A young child at some point can understand the difference between a one dollar bill and a five dollar bill. But using a card makes it hard for them to associate values. Besides, they will learn all about the use of those cards soon enough!

Giving a child an allowance is a great way to train them about money. Hunt thinks a dollar a week per year of age is reasonable, so a five year old would get $5 a week. That may sound steep to you-I think I got a quarter a week as a kid- so adjust accordingly. Tie the allowance to responsibilities, such as picking up their room every day or maybe carrying out the trash. If they miss a day, dock them a day’s allowance. They will learn to associate responsibility with money. Hunt says as kids age, space the allowance out. For a five year old, pay them each week. But a teenager might get paid once a month. If they run out of funds, don’t bail them out. This teaches budgeting.

If giving is important to you, this is a great opportunity to pass this trait on to your kids. Encourage them to separate funds for different purposes. For a five year old, that may mean putting a few coins into a separate jar or envelope labeled for church. Another container may hold savings, funds they are setting aside to make a bigger purchase. When the savings become large enough, take the child to the bank and let them open a savings account, a first step toward learning about investing. And financial training is a practical way to reinforce math skills they are learning at school.

I’ve just given a few examples here of how to teach your kids financial skills. You can use your imagination to come up with other ideas that work with your family. The important point is to take the opportunity to train your kids in this vital area of life.

Published in the Texarkana Gazette on September 16, 2012.
~~~~~
Complaints to the government are up sharply about unwanted phone solicitations, raising questions about how well the federal "do-not-call" registry is working. The biggest category of complaint: those annoying prerecorded pitches called robocalls that hawk everything from lower credit card interest rates to new windows for your home.
To file a complaint with the FTC, people can go online to or call 888-382-1222 to report their experience for possible enforcement.www.ftc.gov
~~~~~
Being Green

Checking out at the store, the young cashier suggested to the older woman, that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren't good for the environment.

The woman apologized and explained, "We didn't have
this green thing back in my earlier days."

The young clerk responded, "That's our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment f
or future generations."

She was right -- our generation didn't have the green thing in its day.

Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were truly recycled.

But we didn't have the green thing back in our day.

Grocery stores bagged our groceries in brown paper bags that we reused for numerous things, most memorable besides household garbage bags, was the use of brown paper bags as book covers for our schoolbooks. This was to ensure that public property, (the books provided for our use by the school) was not defaced by our scribblings. Then we were able to personalize our books on the brown paper bags.

But too bad we didn't do the green thing back then.

We walked up stairs, because we didn't have an escalator in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn't climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks.

But she was right. We didn't have the green thing in our day.

Back then, we washed the baby's diapers because we didn't have the throwaway kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy-gobbling machine burning up 220 volts -- wind and solar power really did dry our clothes back in our early days. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing.

But that young lady is right; we didn't have the green thing back in our day.

Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house -- not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of the state of Montana. In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we didn't have electric machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used wadded up old newspapers to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap. Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity.

But she's right; we didn't have the green thing back then.

We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water. We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull.

But we didn't have the green thing back then.

Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service. We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn't need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 23,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest burger joint.

But isn't it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn't have the green thing back then?
~~~~~
Quotes from some of my favorite folks:
~
Nancee Davis Law - - I guess you could say I'm re-tired...I was tired yesterday & I'm tired again today.

Don't let people rent negative space in your head~~You are not their landlord!

Life is like jumping on a trampoline. When you fall down, you will eventually bounce back.

Young at heart. Slightly older in other places!
~
Amanda Bowen Franks - - “Hold everything in your hands lightly; otherwise it hurts when God pries your fingers open.” ― Corrie Ten Boom
~
Carl Fredrick Roach - - After a night of deep introspection, I came to the conclusion that indecision has held me back. Today, I'm not so sure about that.
~
Jimmy Malone - - I don't want to focus on being a better speaker. I want to focus on having something worth saying.

The best thing about Grace is that it’s not fair.
~
And some from a celebrity. - Stephen King:

Laughter - - “You can't deny laughter; when it comes, it plops down in your favorite chair and stays as long as it wants.”

Talent - - "Talent is cheaper than table salt. What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of hard work."

What I am - - "People think that I must be a very strange person. This is not correct. I have the heart of a small boy. It is in a glass jar on my desk."
~~~~~
The latest from Michael Yon, the foremost “milnews” blogger on the web.
~
Greetings,

Wisdom from the Netherlands. [http://www.michaelyon-online.com/netherlands-why-i-chose-the-gun.htm]

Respectfully,

Michael Yon
Chiang Mai
~
You can sign up for Michael’s Twitter.com updates at "Michael_Yon" [http://twitter.com/Michael_Yon] (not Michael Yon).

You can sign up on his Face book [https://www.facebook.com/MichaelYonFanPage] for daily updates.

Please remember that this website accepts no advertisement and is dependent on your support.
~
www.michaelyon-online.com
~~~~~
If you would like to encourage US Troops overseas, but are not sure just how to begin, visit www.anysoldier.com for ideas.
~~~~~
September 21, 2012

Here's hoping you're off to have a great weekend!

Sports Announcer Overcomes Autism For Dream Job [http://darynkagan.demo.nimbussoftware.com/overcoming/2012/ov_120921_autistic_sports_announcer.html]
Jamaal Street has a distinctive voice and extensive sports knowledge which makes him an in-demand announcer for games. He also happens to have autism.
CNN Heroes Are Announced [http://darynkagan.demo.nimbussoftware.com/heroism/2012/he_120921_cnn_heroes_announced.html]
Meet the 10 awesome people CNN is honoring this year.

DarynKagan.com
~~~~~
http://www.shelfari.com
http://www.shelfari.com/bugsbleat/shelf
~~~~~
Photos on the front of this week’s “Bleat” include - - Annette, Julianna (in her new glasses) and Brandt, A “fire tornado” photo I took several years ago, deer along east Columbia street, Lou and her LifeNet team transporting Uncle Mike to the helicopter, Lou hugging Annette before loading Mike.
~~~~~
For the latest issue of "Da Bleat" go to http://www.bugsbleat.blogspot.com.
Our photos are posted at http://www.bugsbleatphotos.blogspot.com.
~~~~~
Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
~~~~~
BreakPoint - - Worldview Glasses - - Can We See Things As They Are?

If we don’t understand worldview, we won’t understand why people act as they do. And that’s true in New York, Cairo, or anywhere else.

John Stonestreet

The biggest news coming out of New York’s recent Fashion Week had nothing to do with the clothes the models were wearing. Instead, the buzz was all about their glasses: Google’s “augmented reality” eyewear.

It’s called “augmented reality” because when you look through them you’re not seeing the world as it actually is, but instead, how certain programmers interpret it. You’re seeing what the software mandates that you see.

Apart from supermodels and Google employees, virtually no one else is wearing Google’s $1,500 interpretation of reality glasses.

Now that doesn’t mean just because you’re not wearing the glasses that you’re seeing the world as it truly is. Quite the contrary. Everyone has a worldview, and worldviews function as Google’s project does, only without the supermodels.

An ongoing example is the fallout from the 2011 Arab Spring. In the wake of anti-government protests and revolts, western governments, including our own, offered encouragement and sometimes even aid to those pushing for democracy in countries like Tunisia, Egypt, and Libya. The hope was that dictators would be replaced by democratic governments.

Well, that’s what their Western secular worldviews led them to believe. Reality, as we have learned the hard way, has proven to be very different. The choices are not limited to tyrants and would-be Thomas Jeffersons. As we have seen in places like Egypt, Libya and Syria, Islamists are ready, willing, and able to take advantage of the instability created by the collapse of the old order.

Yet judging by their reactions, world leaders, including many of our own, seem to be genuinely surprised at this turn of events. As Secretary Clinton, referring to the attack that killed Ambassador Chris Stevens, said, “How could this happen in a country we helped liberate, in a city we helped save from destruction?”

Where that question comes from is the blind spot in the modern Western worldview. That blind spot sees religion as, at best, a private matter, and at worst, something societies outgrow on their way to full “maturity,” which of course, means “like us.”

This worldview denies—in fact cannot even see—the role that Christianity played in the development and shaping of the Western ideas of freedom, human rights, and, especially in the U.S., democracy itself. It shouldn’t surprise us, then, that they don’t understand why you can’t simply export Western democratic values to places like Egypt and Libya and expect them to work in anything resembling the manner that they do here.

Nor can they understand why Islamic societies, to whom the Western idea of separating religion from politics is literally foreign, might support Islamist parties like the Muslim Brotherhood. For them, religion isn’t a private matter, and it certainly isn’t something you outgrow on the way to aping the West.

The blind spot is not limited to foreign affairs. I remember in the wake of the Columbine shootings there was no shortage of “explanations” for why the shooters did what they did. With one exception, virtually every possible theory was thrown against the wall to see if it stuck.

The exception was the shooters’ often-professed and well-documented nihilism. The pundits for the most part ruled out this possibility that what the shooters believed actually affected what they did. Not because of the evidence but because, like the software for the Google eyewear, the pundits’ worldview wouldn’t let them see it.

Folks, as Chuck Colson said over and over again, worldview matters. And it affects how we see all of reality: from New York to Cairo and back again.

And to deepen your worldview, join me this weekend on BreakPoint This Week. I’ll be speaking with Dr. Glenn Sunshine and Jim Garlow about Pulpit Freedom Sunday. If you can’t tune in, just come to BreakPoint.org and click on the “This Week” tab.

Further Reading and Information

After attacks in Egypt and Libya, USA asks: Why?
Sarah Lynch, Oren Dorell and David Jackson | USA Today | September 13, 2012
http://www.usatoday.com/news/world/story/2012/09/12/after-attacks-in-egypt-and-libya-usa-asks-why/57770610/1

Why the Arab Spring has failed: Watchdog claims people have no more freedom than under the tyrants they deposed
Daily Mail | September 18, 2012
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2205052/Why-Arab-Spring-failed-Watchdog-claims-people-freedom-tyrants-deposed.html?ito=feeds-newsxml

Libya Attack: U.S. Consulate Violence Was 'Terrorist Attack,' Says Counterterrorism Official
Reuters | Huffington Post | September 19, 2012
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/19/libya-attack-us-consulate-terrorist-attack-benghazi_n_1897428.html

France to close embassies in fear of cartoon backlash
France24.com | September 20, 2012
http://www.france24.com/en/20120919-naked-mohammed-cartoons-fuel-muslim-outcry-france-charlie-hebdo-french-paper

Copyright © 2012 Prison Fellowship. All Rights Reserved

~~~~~
Residents of Columbia County, Arkansas are represented in Congress by:
~

Senator John Boozman (R_ AR)
1 Russell Courtyard
Washington DC, 20510
Phone: 202-224-4843
http://boozman.senate.gov/
~
Senator Mark Pryor (D_ AR)
Phone 202_224_2353
FAX 202_228_0908
http://pryor.senate.gov/
~
Representative Michael A. Ross (D _ 04)
Phone 202_225_3772
FAX 202_225_1314
http://ross.house.gov/
Other states congresspersons can be found at: [http://www.visi.com/juan/congress/]
~~~~~
"Today's Seed" from E-MIN - Sept. 21, 2012

Today's message is an encore presentation of the Today's Seed
message that was sent 13 years ago today, Sept 21, 1999.

This is a simple message; but, in its simplicity, how many of us can do it? Can you resist the urge to respond in anger if something unexpected happens today? Can I?

It is better for us to face the question now, because most likely, before the day is over, "There will be a test..."
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

(Psa 4:3-8 NIV) Know that the LORD has set apart the godly for himself; the LORD will hear when I call to him. In your anger do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent. Offer right sacrifices and trust in the LORD. Many are asking, "Who can show us any good?" Let the light of your face shine upon us, O LORD. You have filled my heart with greater joy than when their grain and new wine abound. I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety.

Prayer: LORD, help me not act rashly or in anger today, but consider You in all my decisions and keep my faith and trust in You. You are my source of strength and joy in all situations, and You alone cause me to live in peace and safety. Thank You for Your watchfulness and care for me. In Jesus' name, Amen.
_________________________________________________________________

If Today's Seed messages help you, help us continue to send them. Donate by check, card, & PayPal: www.e-min.org/give2.htm (Tax deductible)
_________________________________________________________________

Sign up for Today's Seed: www.e-min.org/msg.htm (Your info is safe!) Share Today's Seed with friends, or co-workers: www.e-min.org/rects.htm
_________________________________________________________________

Today's Seed by Randall Vaughn is published daily (M-F) by E-MIN Global Ministries, P O Box 220, Warrior, AL 35180 (USA) www.e-min.org Copyright Terms/Permissions/List Privacy www.e-min.org/tp.htm Today's Seed(TM) (c) 2012 Randall Vaughn All Rights Reserved Worldwide.
~~~~~
"The pessimist complains about the wind. The optimist expects it to change. The leader adjusts the sails." - John Maxwell

"If you really want people to respond to your leadership, you have to have a personal relationship with them. They need to know you're dependable and that you'll be there if they have a problem. That's personal power to me." - Noreen Haffner

"What sculpture is to a block of marble, education is to a human soul." - Joseph Addision

"If you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it." - W. Somerset Maugham

"For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil." - Bible, 1st Timothy 6:10

"Any idiot can face a crisis. It's the day-to-day living that wears you out." - Anton Chekhov

"We have always found that people are most productive in small teams with tight budgets, time lines and the freedom to solve their own problems." - John Rollwagen
~~~~~
BREAKING CHRISTIAN NEWS
http://breakingchristiannews.com/

Prayer Alert: "The World Changed Today for Christians" - - Dan Wooding (Sep 16, 2012)
"These events beg the questions: If the U.S. cannot or will not defend embassies, what will be defended? If the embassy staff, in Libya or elsewhere, is not defended, what will the aid be to any U.S. citizen traveling in a country who may be at risk? Apart from domestic security in the U.S. what does this mean for Christians, churches and missionaries around the globe?" -Mary Marr, Founder CEN
Read Full Story [http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=10552]

Victory for Nurses Who Won't Assist in Abortions - - Teresa Neumann (Sep 17, 2012)
The American Center for Law and Justice steps in to advocate for a group of pro-life nurses in large West Coast hospital.
Read Full Story [http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=10547]

[http://www.breakpoint.org/bpcommentaries]
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
GCF: Grocery Bag

If this was forwarded to you, please consider your own subscription to Good Clean Fun. It's free! Just send an email to: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
-------------------------------------

It was very crowded at the supermarket, and the customer in front of me had a large order.

As the harried looking clerk lifted the final bag for her, its bottom gave way, sending the contents crashing to the floor.

"They just don't make these bags like they used to," the clerk quipped to the customer. "That was supposed to happen in your driveway!"
_ _______________ _

GCF: Gift from the Sheriff

"Hello, is this the Sheriff's Office?"

"Yes. What can I do for you?"

"I'm calling to report 'bout my neighbor Virgil Smith. He's hidin' marijuana inside his firewood! Don't quite know how he gets it inside them logs, but he's hidin' it there."

"Thank you very much for the call, sir."

The next day, the Sheriff's Deputies descend on Virgil's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They sneer at Virgil and leave.

Shortly, the phone rings at Virgil's house.

"Hey, Virgil! This here's Floyd. Did the Sheriff come?"

"Yeah!"

"Did they chop your firewood?"

"Yep!"

"Happy Birthday, buddy!"
_ _______________ _
GCF: A Programmer's Sense of Humor

A forestry-service employee was recording the rainfall in his area. One drizzly day, his thoughts were apparently elsewhere as he typed "thirty three inches" instead of "thirty-three hundredths of an inch" into the computer.

It was obvious that the machine had been programmed by someone with a sense of humor, for this message quickly appeared on the screen "Build the ark. Gather the animals two by two..." --------------------

Tom's Note: I confess that as a computer programmer (excuse me, I mean software engineer) for 30+ years, I sometimes got a bit frivolous when concocting error messages, especially for those situations where an obvious error was found and made it look like someone had entered something so completely wrong that it bordered on ... well let's just say that what was entered could not possibly be correct. In those situations, the error message my code produced might be something like "Did your finger slip?" or "You didn't really mean that, did you?" etc. You gotta have SOME fun, right?
_ _______________ _
GCF: Tim Robbed

One night, Tim was walking home when, all of a sudden, a thief jumped on him.

Tim and the thief were began to wrestle. They rolled about on the ground and Tim put up a tremendous fight. However, the thief managed to get the better of him and pinned Tim to the ground.

When the thief went through Tim's pockets all he could find on Tim was 25 cents. He was so surprised at this he asked why Tim had bothered to fight so hard for 25 cents.

"Was that all you wanted?" Tim replied, "I thought you were after the five hundred dollars I've got in my shoe!"
_ _______________ _
GCF: Breakfast

Deciding to eat healthier breakfasts, my brother-in-law declared that oatmeal would now be his cereal of choice. But after eating his first bowl, he told my sister, "I hope I develop a taste for the stuff. It goes down real rough."

"Well," she asked, "how long did you cook it?"

"You're supposed to cook it?" he said.
_ _______________ _
/ )| Thomas S. Ellsworth |( \
/ / | tellswor@kcbx.net | \ \
_( (_ | http://www.kcbx.net/~tellswor | _) )_
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Definitions

No English dictionary has been able to explain the difference between the two words "complete" and "finished" in way that is easy to understand.

Some people say there is no difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED, but there is:

When you marry the right one, you are COMPLETE...

And when you marry the wrong one, you are FINISHED...

And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are COMPLETELY FINISHED.

Received from TwoTimesAr.

(_:][:_)

Creative Problem Solving

There are SEVERAL ways to solve a problem. For example, consider the following from "The Teaching of Elementary Science and Mathematics" by Alexander Calandra:

The process of creativity is a mysterious and interesting one. It is brilliantly described in the following story. A student refused to parrot back what he had been taught in class. When the student protested, I was asked to act as arbiter between the student and his professor.

I went to my colleague's office and read the examination question: 'Show how it is possible to determine the height of a tall building with the aid of a barometer.'

The student had answered: 'Take the barometer to the top of the building, attach a long rope to it, lower the barometer to the street and then bring it up, measuring the length of the rope. The length of the rope is the height of the building.'

A high grade is supposed to certify competence in physics, but the answer did not confirm this. I suggested that the student have another try at answering the question. I gave the student six minutes, with the warning that his answer should show some knowledge of physics. In the next minute he dashed off his answer, which read: 'Take the barometer to the top of the building and lean over the edge of the roof. Drop the barometer, timing its fall with a stopwatch. Then, using the formula S = {frac 1/2}a{sp 8}t(2), calculate the height of the building.'

At this point, I asked my colleague if he would give up. He conceded, and I gave the student almost full credit.

In leaving my colleague's office, I recalled that the student had said he had other answers to the problem, so I asked him what they were.

'Oh, yes. There are many ways of getting the height of a tall building with the aid of a barometer. For example, you could take the barometer out on a sunny day and measure the height of the barometer, the length of its shadow, and the length of the shadow of the building, and by the use of a simple proportion, determine the height of the building.'

Fine, I said. And the others?

'Yes. Take the barometer and begin to walk up the stairs. As you climb the stairs, you mark off the length of the barometer along the wall. You then count the number of marks, and this will give you the height of the building in barometer units. A very direct method.'

'Finally, there are many other ways of solving the problem. Probably not the best is to take the barometer to the basement and knock on the superintendent's door. When the superintendent answers, you speak to him as follows: "Mr. Superintendent, here I have a fine barometer. If you will tell me the height of this building, I will give you this barometer".'

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

(_:][:_)

Chinatown Laundry

Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs, and banners. He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign, "Hans Olaffsen's Laundry."

"Hans Olaffsen?" he muses. "How in the world does that fit in here?"

So he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman behind the counter.

The tourist asks, "How did this place get a name like Hans Olaffsen's Laundry?"

The old man answers, "Is name of owner."

The tourist asks, "Well, who and where is the owner?"

"Me, is right here," replies the old man.

"You? How did you ever get a name like Hans Olaffsen?"

"Is simple," says the old man. "Many, many year ago when come to this country, was stand in line at Documentation Center. Man in front was big blonde Swede. Lady look at him and go, 'What your name?'

"He say, 'Hans Olaffsen.'

"Then she look at me and go, 'What your name?'

"I say, 'Sem Ting.'"

Received from Big Mac Clean Joke Attack.

(_:][:_)

CPAs

Two CPAs were returning home from a client meeting. They took the cheapest seats on the plane so they each were
occupying the center seat on opposite sides of the aisle. They continued their discussion of the knotty tax problem that had been the subject of their client meeting through takeoff and meal service.

Finally, one of the passengers in an aisle seat offered to trade places so they could talk and he could sleep.

After switching seats, one CPA said to the other that it was the first time a tax discussion ever kept anyone awake.

Received from Clean-Laffs.

(_:][:_)

Order

To impress his date, the young man took her to a very swank and impressive Italian restaurant.

He ordered one of the more expensive bottles of wine on the menu, and the two chatted as they sipped from their glasses.

Finally, he picked up the menu again and studied it with a fine eye. When the waiter came for the order, the young man confidently said, "We'll both have the Guiseppe Spomdalucci."

"I'm sorry, sir," said the waiter, "but that's the owner."

Received from Doc's Daily Chuckle.

(_:][:_)

http://GCFL.net - The Good, Clean Funnies List A cheerful heart is good medicine... (Prov 17:22a) Facebook: http://facebook.com/gcfl.net Twitter: http://twitter.com/gcfl Mail address: GCFL, Box 100, Harvest, AL 35749, USA

The latest GCFL funny can always be found on the web at http://www.gcfl.net/latest.php
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Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Column - -

http://www.madkane.com/humor_blog/

© Madeleine Begun Kane. All Rights Reserved.
http://www.madkane.com/
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"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." __ Franklin D. Roosevelt
"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. _ _ George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" _ _ Queen E. Watson
“A political class of Republicans and Democrats that look after themselves, not the Nation. A media hostile to the very precepts of this nation. A generation of Americans who see morals as vices, and are ignorant of America's Actual History.”
"The things that will destroy America are prosperity-at-any-price, peace-at-any-price, safety-first instead of duty-first, the love of soft living, and the get-rich-quick theory of life." - - Theodore Roosevelt
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"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." __ "Bug"
"I read the end of the book. We win!" __ "Bug"
"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." __ "Bug"
"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." _ _ "Bug"
"It's no big deal doing what God tells you to do. A big deal would be NOT doing what God tells you to do. Just ask Jonah." _ _ Paul Troquille
“Nam et ipsa scientia potestas est.” Knowledge is power. _ Francis Bacon
"The problem is here and now. The time for talk is past. The time for action is now."
Comments on the first Earth Day _ James F. McClellan via John "Fuzzy" Thurman
~~~~~
Hope you enjoy the newsletter.
Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" __"Bug"
God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
God is Good and Faithful CU 73 IC JFM CSP NREMT_I KC5HII

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