Monday, June 21, 2010

Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Wedding Blessing - - Photos

 
Josiah with his GIANT lunch box the first day of camp at LoGoLy

 
Josiah and fellow campers checked on the turtles each morning.

 
Josiah explaining turtle care to his teacher

 
Josiah with his "Right Sized" lunch box
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Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Wedding Blessing

 
"Norman" and Josiah

 
Josiah races to the car on his last day of camp

 
Mamaw and Josiah start loading his "Crafts" from LoGoLy
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Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Wedding Blessing - -

 
Uncle Mikes Rose

 
Another shot of his Rose

 
Emma Ellington and Friend at LoGoLy

 
Josiah and Emma leave LoGoLy on their last day.
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Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Wedding Blessing

Volume 12, Issue 24 Friday, June 18, 2010

Hello All,

Too many are trying to be good enough for God. They don't understand that he already loves you as you are. As this song from "Pocket" explains.

He's not mad at you
He's not disappointed
His grace is greater still,
than all of your wrong choices
He is full of mercy and he is ever kind
Hear his invitation, His arms are open wide

You can come as you are,
with all your broken pieces
And all your shameful scars
The pain you hold in your heart,
bring it all to Jesus
You can come as you are

Louder than the voice that whispers you’re unworthy
Hear the sound of love,
that tells a different story
Shattering your darkness and pushing through the lies
How tenderly he calls you
His arms are open wide

Pocket Full Of Rocks
~~~~~
When Annette and I moved home from Dallas in 1972, we bought a trailer (mobile home.) We decided not to get AC because (1) we couldn't afford it. and (2) we'd never had AC till we moved to an apartment in Dallas so we'd just do without again.
Of course, we'd never lived in a metal box before either. We roasted in that oven. It took Annette a short time to build a screened in porch on the front of the trailer so we could survive that summer. Before the next hot weather, Annette traded with a junkyard for an old AC unit to put in our bedroom. It was actually mounted in a ho-made wooden box and only worked after Annette had prayed over it and pounded on it each evening. It made a loud "thunking" noise all night but it blew COLD air so we just learned to "sleep with the thunk."
~~~~~
On Father's day, I thank God for my family. And I pray that the fathers, mothers, sons and daughters serving in Afghanistan are not forgotten by the country they are fighting for. This video was sent to me by Michael Yon. It's worth your time to watch. [http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/37673562#37673562]
~~~~~
And another link which Michael Yon recommended. If this George Will column doesn’t get your blood pressure up, report to the nearest funeral home, you’re not alive. [http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/06/18/AR2010061803760.html]
~~~~~
Speaking of Blood Pressure, does anyone else wonder what ever happened to honesty in business and personal relations? Remember when “WE” were in school and they taught us about Honest Abe Lincoln, who walked miles to return 2 or 3 cents he had inadvertently overcharged a customer? [http://www.inspirationalstories.com/1/108.html]
My how times have changed. Modern businesses consider “mistakes” in their favor honest profit. They wouldn’t entertain the notion of voluntarily refunding your money.
Case in point. ... Annette had an MRI on May 19. I was not pleased with the “bedside manner” of these folks. They bordered on rudeness to her and ignored her pleas that she was in pain due to the way they had positioned her. However, she gritted her teeth and got through the procedure, vowing to never return to that facility again.
Then, I got the bill summary from our insurer and discovered that we had overpaid our deductible to that business. I called them. Oh yes, they agreed, we had overpaid them to the tune of almost $300. Hummm ... did they even consider contacting us? Nay Nay.
Well at least we could get a refund by calling them. Nay Nay.
We had to contact their billing department for the refund. (Who wants to bet that we would have already gotten a collection notice if we had owed them?) So I called the billing department. You’re not gonna believe this, but they are all busy and will get back with me.
I’m Holding My Breath.
~~~~~
Now, some good news; ... SEATTLE, Jun 21, 2010 (BUSINESS WIRE) --Amazon.com, Inc. (NASDAQ:AMZN) today announced that Amazon Kindle, the best e-reader on the market (see this recent press release from the world's leading consumer reporting organization--http://pressroom.consumerreports.org/pressroom/2010/06/amazons-kindle-tops-cr-ebook-reader-ratings.html), is now only $189, down from $259. Kindle is the 3G wireless portable reader that allows you to think of a book and be reading in 60 seconds, from wherever you happen to be. Easy to read even in bright sunlight, the 10.2 ounce Kindle is light enough for one-handed reading. Even though it's a 3G wireless device, Kindle has no monthly fees or annual contracts. The Kindle Store includes over 600,000 books and the largest selection of the most popular books people want to read, including 109 of 112 New York Times Bestsellers and New Releases from $9.99. In addition, over 1.8 million free, out-of-copyright, pre-1923 books are available to read on Kindle. Since its release, Kindle has been the #1 bestselling product across the millions of items sold on Amazon. Kindle is in stock and available for immediate shipment at the new lower price of $189. Learn more at www.amazon.com/kindle.
~
With ATT announcing that they will start charging increased usage fees for their 3G and Verizon hinting the same, here’s a 3G device that you don’t pay ANY fees for. Once you purchase your Kindle, you’re connected for the life of the device at no charge. And, like the news release states, using the 3G connection, you can be reading a book 60 seconds after you order it.
If you like to read, you really should get a Kindle.
~~~~~
And more good news ... Congratulations to Tena and Keith Simpson, proud parents of Hayden Simpson! Hayden was drafted by the Chicago Cubs in the first round of the Major League Baseball draft. By: Houston Taylor, SAU Sports

MAGNOLIA, Ark. – “The hometown boy made good” as the Chicago Cubs selected Magnolia native and Southern Arkansas All-America starting pitcher Hayden Simpson (6-0, 175, JR, Magnolia) with the 16th overall pick in Monday’s annual first-year player Major League Baseball draft.

The selection came as a surprise to many as Simpson was listed by various sources as expected to be taken anywhere from the second through eighth rounds. None may have been more surprised than Simpson.

“I’m just blown away,” Simpson stated. “I had no idea I’d be picked then. A bunch of friends came over just to watch the draft. I was waiting for tomorrow’s rounds.”
~
The Cubs gave Simpson a 1.6 million signing bonus.
~~~~~
In the midst of the "BP Disaster" rhetoric and opportunism, we should insist that our politicians get to the REAL "Root Cause" of this incident. ... A company whose leadership "doesn't get" safety.
Instead of using this disaster to increase the regulatory burden on all of us, how about filing criminal charges against those who made the decisions to compromise safety. Eleven lost their lives, apparently as a direct result of decisions to save money by compromising safety. That's manslaughter in my book.
Prosecution of management who made those decisions, as well as regulators who “looked the other way,” would do much more to prevent future disasters than all the increased taxes and regulation that are currently being proposed.
~~~~~
Speaking of being unprepared, in yet another unsurprising disclosure, Channel 7 News [www.katv.com] reported that the Weather Radio Tower Near Albert Pike had been out of service for the Past Two Years.

- Glenwood - Channel 7 News has learned a weather radio tower that could have provided critical warnings to the Camp Albert Pike area has been down for the past two years.

Glenwood City Council Member Chuck Voan says he has tried for two years to get the tower replaced, but his requests fell on deaf ears. He has been concerned for the safety of his community since the tower was destroyed by Hurricane Ike in 2008. (Chuck Voan, Glenwood City Council Member) "Everybody was big on getting your NOAA Weather Radio; they don't work here. Without that tower being back up to full speed, 1000 watts, we're no good."

However, our investigation revealed far more people than the residents of Glenwood or even Montgomery County are affected by this lack of service. The tower was located on top of High Peak Mountain serving eight counties, which means more than 200,000 residents don't have critical coverage. A temporary tower was erected at Mount Ida, but it only has a broadcast radius of five to six miles.

The National Weather Service (web | news) is responsible for the towers and when Voan says they did not respond to his pleas for help, he turned to his congressional delegation. (Chuck Voan, Glenwood City Council) "I think with Senator Lincoln, Pryor and Ross and all them I think we can, and you guys helping us, too, because a lot of people didn't know it."

(Sen. Blanche Lincoln, (D) Arkansas) "The challenging area that we face there in terms of lots of river valleys, lots of steep terrain, you know putting towers up on a high spot where you can get the best coverage doesn't necessarily mean that you're going to get that coverage deep down into those ravines where the campgrounds are so we've got to figure out a better way to do that."

Channel 7 News' investigation also revealed the weather radio tower in Montgomery County is one of only four in the entire country currently down. A spokesperson for the regional office of the National Weather Service said they would provide an explanation for the delay, which we have been told has something to do with lease agreements. KATV is still waiting for that call.
http://www.katv.com/news/stories/0610/746270.html
~~~~~
And a related story. 'We Are Totally Unprepared'
Nine years after 9/11, a chilling complacency about WMD attacks.
By PEGGY NOONAN

The most important overlooked story of the past few weeks was overlooked because it was not surprising. Also because no one really wants to notice it. The weight of 9/11 and all its implications is so much on our minds that it's never on our mind.

I speak of the report from the inspector general of the Justice Department, issued in late May, saying the department is not prepared to ensure public safety in the days or weeks after a terrorist attack in which nuclear, biological or chemical weapons are used. The Department of Homeland Security is designated as first federal responder, in a way, in the event of a WMD attack, but every agency in government has a formal, assigned role, and the crucial job of Justice is to manage and coordinate law enforcement and step in if state and local authorities are overwhelmed.

So how would Justice do, almost nine years after the attacks of 9/11? Poorly. "The Department is not prepared to fulfill its role . . . to ensure public safety and security in the event of a WMD incident," says the 61-page report. Justice has yet to assign an entity or individual with clear responsibility for oversight or management of WMD response; it has not catalogued its resources in terms of either personnel or equipment; it does not have written plans or checklists in case of a WMD attack. A deputy assistant attorney general for policy and planning is quoted as saying "it is not clear" who in the department is responsible for handling WMD response. Workers interviewed said the department's operational response program "lacks leadership and oversight." An unidentified Justice Department official was quoted: "We are totally unprepared." He added. "Right now, being totally effective would never happen. Everybody would be winging it." ...

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704312104575299082391565318.html?mod=rss_Today%27s_Most_Popular
~~~~~
But being prepared doesn’t mean giving up or no longer trying. Many want us to quit drilling for oil and quickly move to alternative energy sources. Besides the obvious problem that most of the new energy sources are not ready to supply the whole country, we also use oil for more things than energy.
~
Petrochemicals define all aspects of modern world - - The modern world is created by petrochemicals, with oil and gas behind most things that we wear, eat, drive or use. Kevin Swift, the director of economics and statistics for the American Chemistry Council, describes a bottle of shampoo as the perfect example of how oil- and gas-based products monopolize our world: the bottle, the cap, the label, the ink and glue on the label, even the shampoo itself, are all made of plastic or some kind of chemical. "A bottle of shampoo is about 100% chemistry," Swift says. Google/The Associated Press [http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5gjMd3ffUJHUURoPQ5le2oT4I89uQD9G9083O0]
~~~~~
Two thirds of God's name is Go - - Mallory Gonzalez
~~~~~
Brainwashing has really gotten a bad name, but I think that brain-soiling is a much greater problem. I mean, if someone told me that they were opening a new brain-wash at the corner of Airline and Shed, I think I would try it out. - - Jimmy Malone
~~~~~
"I didn’t go to religion to make me happy. I always knew a bottle of Port would do that. If you want a religion to make you feel really comfortable, I certainly don’t recommend Christianity." — C.S. Lewis via Jimmy Malone
~~~~~
So far, the most definitive book on raising boys that I have read is the "Calvin and Hobbes Treasury". - - Jimmy Malone
~~~~~
It is easy for Christian leaders to convince themselves that they are doing God's work by opposing everyone who does not agree with them in every respect.
Sadly, not all things that the church expends its energy on are essential doctrines, or even doctrines at all. Often the truths espoused by Christians are points of personal preference or sidelights of interpretation rather than the central teachings of the Bible. ~ David Cartledge
~~~~~
"In wildness is the preservation of the world." Henry David Thoreau via Janet Holiman Dickinson
~~~~~
There are 2 types of Christians. Chameleon Christians are those who blend in, they appear to be just like the world around them.
Kingdom Christians are those who are different, they change the atmosphere. They take seriously "thy kingdom come thy will be done". Kingdom Christians don't conform, they transform. - - Michael Maris
~~~~~
http://energycommerce.house.gov/documents/20100527/BP.Presentation.pdf
~~~~~
Spend wisely and money could buy happiness - - The Discovery Files - - According to a Cornell University professor of psychology, consumers found that satisfaction with "experiential purchases" -- from massages to family vacations -- starts high and increases over time. In contrast, spending money on material things feels good at first, but actually makes ... [http://www.nsf.gov/news/mmg/mmg_disp.cfm?med_id=66944]
~~~~~
CALIFORNIA: The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out, bites the Governor and attacks his dog.
1. The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie "Bambi" and then realizes he should stop; the coyote is only doing what is natural.
2. He calls Animal Control. Animal Control captures coyote and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it to Arizona.
3. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases.
4. The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.
5. The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is free of dangerous animals.
6. The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a "coyote awareness" program for residents of the area.
7. The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.
8. The Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the attack somehow and for letting the Governor attempt to intervene.
9. Additional cost to State of California: $75,000 to hire and train a new security agent with additional special training re: the nature of coyotes.
10. PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files suit against the States of California and Arizona.

ARIZONA: The Governor of Arizona is jogging with her dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks her dog.
1. The Governor shoots the coyote with her state-issued pistol and keeps jogging. The Governor has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.
2. The buzzards eat the dead coyote.

And that, my friends, is why California is broke.

Thanks to Gary Foreman
~~~~~
The Benefits of a Vegetarian Diet on Diabetes Management
By Theresa Garnero, APRN, BC-ADM, MSN, CDE

How can a vegetarian diet that is high in carbs help with diabetes? Isn’t that counterintuitive to the carb conscious frenzy imbedded in traditional diabetes management dogma?

Though a plant-based diet may have more carbohydrates than the typical recommendation for people with diabetes, studies suggest a vegetarian approach makes a pancreas happy and reduces the body’s risk for heart attacks, strokes, and several types of cancer. Most of the studies involved type 2s, yet the importance of reducing risks for complications via improved A1C, blood pressure, cholesterol, and kidney function certainly may be applied to people with type 1.

This column will review basic definitions, a few studies showing rather spectacular health benefits of a vegetarian diet for the person with diabetes, protein food choices, and further resources for consideration.

Types of Vegetarians
A true vegetarian enjoys a rich diet based on fresh vegetables, fruit, legumes, whole grains and nuts, and will not eat meat, poultry, or fish — period! Subsets include:

Lacto-ovo: also consumes eggs, dairy products, and honey.
Lacto: also consumes milk and honey.
Vegan: excludes all animal products and honey.
Strict vegetarian: avoids any product that uses animal ingredients or products during manufacturing. These are not always listed on the food label (some cheeses use rennet, an animal stomach enzyme; gelatin is made from animal skin/bones/connective tissue; cane sugar may use bone char in the whitening process; some alcohol is clarified with gelatin).

Those who eat mainly vegetarian and add fish are called “pescatarian;” those who add meat are “semi-vegetarian.” [http://www.dlife.com/diabetes/information/inspiration_expert_advice/expert_columns/Theresa_Garnero/a-vegetarian-diet.html?utm_source=Update-20100618&utm_medium=eNewsletter&utm_content=Update-newsletter&utm_campaign=dLife-eNewsletter]
~~~~~
Corporations press senators for climate legislation - - The top executives of General Electric, Dow Corning, Honeywell and Applied Materials met with nearly 20 senators Thursday to press their case for legislation to cap greenhouse-gas emissions. The executives said such a measure would spur the development of renewable energy and generate employment. "They've been very vocal in saying there needs to be a price on carbon," said Sen. Tom Carper, D-Del. The Hill/E2 Wire blog (6/17) [http://thehill.com/blogs/e2-wire/677-e2-wire/103943-kerry-lieberman-tap-corporate-execs-to-push-their-climate-bill]
~~~~~
DarynKagan.com - - Happiness is on mind today. Especially in places you might not expect to find it--at your job or while you're out of work. I have more thoughts on this in today's blog [http://darynkagan.demo.nimbussoftware.com/darynsblog.html].

Company's Secret To Success: Happiness - - Go behind the scenes with Zappos.com, one of the most successful online retailers. Their CEO shares a simple secret--make employees and customers happy. Wow! What a concept! Watch Video >>[http://darynkagan.demo.nimbussoftware.com/business/2010/bu_100615_zappos_happiness.html]

Unemployed Man Is Giving Away $10 A Day - - Reed Sandridge has taken his unemployment in a direction few would. He's spending a year giving away $10 a day to strangers with no strings attached. See why giving has been the key to one man's happiness.. Watch Video >> [http://darynkagan.demo.nimbussoftware.com/heroism/2010/he_100510_giveaway10dollars.html]
~~~~~
http://rationalpolitics.net/forum/index.php
~~~~~
http://kitlange.com
~~~~~
soldiersangelsforum.com
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America is not at war. The military is at war. - - America is at the mall, or watching the movie stars. [http://icasualties.org/]
~~~~~
Each week the Defense Department highlights military personnel who have gone above and beyond in the war. [http://www.defenselink.mil/heroes/] - - Scott Woodring - - Awarded: Bronze Star Medal with Valor

U.S. military units in Tikrit, Iraq aren't strangers to engaging the enemy in open fields, but they use the fields' tall grass as cover whenever possible. Air Force Technical Sergeant Scott Woodring had no choice but to abandon his cover on April 25, 2008 when his unit was under attack by six insurgents and he needed to reassess whether they should bring in air support.

As a Joint Terminal Attack Controller for the Air Force, Woodring was embedded with an U.S. Army ground unit. It was his job to strategize with the Ground Commander about how to use the Air Force helicopter assets overhead.

Between firing at the approaching enemy, Woodring and his Ground Commander weighed the risks of using their air assets. But when a Soldier in their platoon was shot, Woodring knew they needed to reassess the situation.

When Woodring reached up from his cover of grass to pull down his Commander so they could talk, he was immediately shot in the left forearm.

"My buddies now joke with me, saying ‘be careful when you're grabbing your Ground Commander,'" said Woodring.

With the enemy strengthening their presence and U.S.
helicopters waiting overhead to engage at the ground unit's command, Woodring had no choice but to continue his mission and maneuver the armed helicopters.

During the next 15 minutes, while a Soldier bandaged his arm, Woodring coordinated the close air support from the attack helicopters, which ultimately eliminated the six insurgents.

Through outstanding combat leadership and sound judgment, Woodring ensured the safety of his team, prevented further casualties and guaranteed the successful completion of their mission.

Woodring and the other wounded Soldier were safely removed from the fight and flown to Balad, Iraq. Before he knew it, Woodring was en route to Andrews Air Force base to be treated for his injuries and reunited with his family.

For his heroic actions and unselfish dedication to duty, the U.S. Air Force awarded Woodring with a Bronze Star Medal, with a Second Oak Leaf Cluster, with Valor.
The pinnacle of accomplishment came in November 2009 when he received the prestigious Sijan Award. [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lance_Sijan]

The Sijan Award annually recognizes Airmen who demonstrate outstanding leadership abilities in honor of the late Captain Lance P. Sijan. Capt. Sijan's mother and sister were in attendance at the award ceremony held at the Pentagon, and presented Woodring, among three other Airmen, with the award.

"Having Capt. Sijan's family there really made everything come together," reflected Woodring. "It was a very special moment for me."

Woodring's own wife and family have been an important part of his career as well. "Without the family a lot of this doesn't happen for us," Sergeant Woodring explained. He noted support from his family "reaches pretty deep."

Born in Tulane, Ohio, Woodring enlisted in the Air Force in 1997 directly after high school. His combat leadership and action in support of special operations task forces has directly contributed to measurable success in both Operations Enduring Freedom and Iraqi Freedom. After serving overseas in 12 four-month deployments to date, Woodring is now based in Georgia.
"I hope to follow in the footsteps of some of my Air Force role models and I look forward to a long career in the military," said Woodring.
~~~~~
The latest from Michael Yon, the foremost “milnews” blogger on the web.
~
Greetings,

Took an interesting trip on Sunday with the Prime Minister of Thailand, Abhisit Vejjajiva. Like many leaders during difficult times, PM Abhisit is both loved and hated. Personally, I like him, for what that's worth. More on the Thailand situation soon. Meanwhile, I have picked up a tremendous readership/viewership here in Thailand. (Strange chain of events since getting the door from combat embedding in Afghanistan.)

Gobar Gas Part II (Unabridged) is just published [http://www.michaelyon-online.com/gobar-gas-ii.htm]. Part of this dispatch will be familiar, but most is new. This is interesting stuff!

Please read Gobar Gas Part II [http://www.michaelyon-online.com/gobar-gas-ii.htm].

Please see this short entry on Face book:
Espionage on U.S. Bases, and OPSEC [http://www.facebook.com/posted.php?id=207730000664&share_id=127966837236356&comments=1#s127966837236356]

Very Respectfully,

Michael Yon
Your Writer,

Please remember that this website accepts no advertisement and is dependent on your support.

PS Please sign up for my Twitter.com updates at "Michael_Yon" [http://twitter.com/Michael_Yon] (not Michael Yon).

http://www.facebook.com/#/MichaelYonFanPage?ref=sgm
~
www.michaelyon-online.com
~
Http://www.michaelyon_online.com/index.php
~~~~~
If you would like to encourage US Troops overseas, but are not sure just how to begin, visit www.anysoldier.com for ideas.
~~~~~
We’ve Watched:

The House of Eliott: Series Rating: 8

To Be or Not To Be - - I Rated This Movie: 8
Woman in the Moon - - I Rated This Movie: 6.5
People Will Talk - - I Rated This Movie: 10
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs - - I Rated This Movie: 7.5
Kung Fu Magoo - - I Rated This Movie: 5.5
Tom and Jerry: The Magic Ring - - I Rated This Movie: 4
Godzilla: The Seaweed Monster - - I Rated This Movie: 4
Kate & Leopold - - I Rated This Movie: 9
Going My Way - - I Rated This Movie: 9
Garfield's Pet Force - - I Rated This Movie: 4
Love Affair - - I Rated This Movie: 8
My Man Godfrey - - I Rated This Movie: 9.5
Desk Set - - I Rated This Movie: 9.5
Fraggle Rock - - I Rated This Movie: 6
Bolt - - I Rated This Movie: 6
Seventh Heaven - - I Rated This Movie: 5
It Happened One Night - - I Rated This Movie: 10
The Red Baron - - I Rated This Movie: 7
Robinson Crusoe - - I Rated This Movie: 5
~~~~~
Paper Books We’ve recently read:

Don't look twice : a novel / Andrew Gross. - - I Rated This Book: 8.5
"Magnificent Failure Free Fall from the Edge of Space" / Craig Ryan - - I Rated This Book: 9.0
~~~~~
Kindle books we recently read:

Treason / Don Brown - - I Rated This Book: 8.0
A Colder War / Charles Stross - - I Rated This Book: 7.5
Stoker And The Stars / John A Sentry - - I Rated This Book: 7.5
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http://www.shelfari.com
http://www.shelfari.com/bugsbleat/shelf
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Photos on the front of this week’s “Bleat” include Shots of Josiah and friends at LoGoLy Day Camp
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We’ve now got several addresses on the web for "Da Bleat." For the latest issue, go to http://www.bugsbleat.blogspot.com.
Our photos are posted at http://www.bugsbleatphotos.blogspot.com.
~~~~~
Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
~~~~~
Be sure and keep Dr. Fred Murphy and his staff (Shelley, Glenda and Kelly) in your prayers.
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Be sure and keep Dr. Pat Antoon and his lovely wife Mandy in your prayers.
~~~~~
Recipe(s) of the week - - Grill Mates® Baja Citrus Marinade flavors shrimp and vegetable kabobs with citrus, chili peppers and cilantro. - - • Low Calorie • Low Carbohydrate • Low Fat • Low Sodium

Makes 8 servings. - - Prep Time: 15 minutes - - Cook Time: 8 minutes - - Refrigerate Time: 15 minutes

Ingredients
1 package McCormick® Grill Mates® Baja Citrus Marinade
1/4 cup olive oil
2 tablespoons vinegar
2 tablespoons water
2 pounds large shrimp, peeled and deveined
5 cups assorted fresh vegetable pieces, such as yellow squash, zucchini and red bell pepper

Directions
1. Mix Marinade Mix, oil, vinegar and water in small bowl. Place shrimp and vegetables in 2 separate large resealable plastic bags. Pour half of the marinade into each bag; turn to coat well.
2. Refrigerate 15 minutes. Remove shrimp and vegetables from marinade. Discard shrimp marinade; reserve vegetable marinade. Alternately thread shrimp and vegetables onto skewers.
3. Grill over medium heat 6 to 8 minutes or until shrimp turn pink, turning frequently and basting with reserved vegetable marinade.

Tips
Test Kitchen Tip: If using wooden skewers, soak thoroughly in water for at least 30 minutes before threading with shrimp and vegetables. This prevents them from burning when on the grill.

Nutrional information per serving
Calories: 137
Fat: 5 g
Carbohydrates: 4 g
Cholesterol: 168 mg
Sodium: 336 mg
Fiber: 1 g
Protein: 19 g

Copyright © 2008 McCormick & Company, Inc. All Rights Reserved. | www.mccormick.com
[http://www.mccormick.com/MCC/Layouts/RecipePrintFull.aspx?id={7DB90615-5537-495B-805E-E6711C4986BD}]
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BreakPoint
Schoolmaster of the Republic
Noah Webster's Inspiration
By: Chuck Colson

So much of our nation’s history was shaped by the Christian worldview, and by extraordinary people who lived it out.

Chuck Colson - Like millions of other Americans, you may have watched this year’s Scripps National Spelling Bee on television. The Bee is a tradition dating back to 1925, and has participants from around the world. This year there were 273 spellers speaking 102 different languages besides English.

As John Murray wrote recently in the Wall Street Journal, “Given this amazing diversity united under one language, the author of America’s first dictionary and the originator of uniform spelling in America (which makes the Bee possible!) would be proud.”

Murray is of course referring to Noah Webster, “to whom the [spelling] Bee owes its official dictionary, ‘Merriam-Webster's Third New International Dictionary.’”

You may never have given Noah Webster a thought while watching the spelling bee, but Murray (who, by the way, is a graduate of our Centurions program) is right to credit him with making it possible—and with so much more than that.

The thing worth remembering about Noah Webster is that, unlike many today, he wasn’t interested in learning just for learning’s sake—or even for the sake of having a good career and achieving prosperity. Over the course of his life, Webster came to believe that education had a higher, nobler purpose.

When Webster created the American dictionary, one of his foremost goals was to help create “a national language” as “a band of national union.” It would help teach the new nation self-respect. And in addition to helping to shape the United States Constitution, he also helped set up the country’s educational system and fought against slavery.

But Noah Webster wasn’t just a patriot. In his 50th year, he became a devout Christian. And from that time on, he was dedicated to furthering the cause of moral and spiritual education as well as academic education.

For many years, copies of Webster’s dictionary actually contained an account of his conversion to Christianity. Whereas his Blue-Backed Speller, published in 1783, had been devoid of sacred references, his 1828 dictionary was full of them.

As Murray writes in his article, “The context sentences used for his word entries were more often than not taken straight from biblical verse. For example, one of his definitions for ‘truth’ stated: ‘Jesus Christ is called the truth. John xiv.’” The former freethinker had come to believe that education was “useless without the Bible.”

As a result, Webster’s work had an eternal impact upon generations of students. As John Murray tells us, “Of the man known as ‘The Schoolmaster of Our Republic,’ editors often wrote above his picture, ‘He taught millions to read, but not one to sin.’”

You couldn’t ask for a better epitaph than that.

So the next time you watch a spelling bee, or use a dictionary, or help a child with his or reading, take a moment to think about the true purpose and value of education.

As Webster knew so well, though many of his countrymen have forgotten it, we learn not just to benefit ourselves our even our country, but to better understand and serve our God.
Further Reading and Information

Noah Webster and the Bee [http://online.wsj.com/article_email/SB10001424052748704875604575280822341418854-lMyQjAxMTAwMDAwNDEwNDQyWj.html]
John A. Murray | The Wall Street Journal | June 4, 2010

Cleveland's Anamika Veeramani wins Spelling Bee
USA Today | June 5, 2010 - - http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2010-06-05-spelling-bee-anamika-veeramani_N.htm

Noah Webster, Writings and Biography
www.lexrex.com

Copyright © 2010 Prison Fellowship. All Rights Reserved _ _ http://www.breakpoint.org/
~
Residents of Columbia County, Arkansas are represented in Congress by:

Senator Blanche Lambert Lincoln (D_ AR)
Phone 202_224_4843
FAX 202_228_1371
http://lincoln.senate.gov/
~
Senator Mark Pryor (D_ AR)
Phone 202_224_2353
FAX 202_228_0908
http://pryor.senate.gov/
~
Representative Michael A. Ross (D _ 04)
Phone 202_225_3772
FAX 202_225_1314
http://ross.house.gov/

Other states congresspersons can be found at: [http://www.visi.com/juan/congress/]
~~~~~
Words of the Day:
juggernaut: any large, overpowering, destructive force.
vernacular: the plain variety of language in everyday use.
quintessential: being the most typical.
festoon: to adorn with hanging chains or strands of any material.
indemnity: security against damage or loss.
oscitant: yawning, as with drowsiness.
hegira: a journey to a more desirable or congenial place.

from http://dictionary.reference.com/wordoftheday/
~~~~~
"Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them." - James Baldwin

"How often in life it is a truth that we have no time for our friends but all the time in the world for our enemies." - Leon Uris

"The things that the flag stands for were created by the experiences of a great people. Everything that it stands for was written by their lives. The flag is the embodiment not of sentiment, but of history." - Woodrow Wilson

"I guess we all like to be recognized not for one piece of fireworks, but for the ledger of our daily work." - Neil Armstrong

"They always say that time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself." - Andy Warhol

"Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is the only thing." - Albert Schweitzer

"Happiness, it seems to me, consists of two things: first, in being where you belong, and second - and best - in comfortably going through everyday life, that is, having had a good night's sleep and not being hurt by new shoes." -
~~~~~
BREAKING CHRISTIAN NEWS
http://breakingchristiannews.com/

Italian Singer, Andrea Bocelli, Offers Pro-Life Personal Anecdote
Aimee Herd (Jun 14, 2010)

"…the young brave wife decided not to abort, and the child was born. That woman was my mother, and I was the child."

...Read Full Story [http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=7946]

16-year-old Sailor, Abby Sunderland, Speaks Out about Her Journey and Rescue
Dan Wooding (Jun 15, 2010)

The 'born-again' American teenager who had been attempting to sail solo around the world defends herself against the critics of her young age.

...Read Full Story [http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=7949]

310 2nd Ave SE
Albany, Oregon 97321
541_928_2642
E-mail editor@breakingchristiannews.com
US Orders: 1_866_358_7426
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
GCF: Wedding Blessing

Emailed to me from another humor list (Clean Laffs) –Tom Subscribe to Clean Laffs at the website: http://www.gophercentral.com/

If this was forwarded to you, please consider your own subscription to Good Clean Fun. It's free! Just send an email to: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
---------------------------------------------

At a wedding ceremony, the minister raised his hand to give the final blessing.

The bride misunderstood the gesture and surprised him with a high-five.

Not wanting to exclude the groom, the minister offered him a high-five, too.

He was finally able to get the blessing in, amid the laughter of the guests.
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me from another humor list (Clean Laffs) -Tom
Subscribe to Clean Laffs at the website:
http://www.gophercentral.com/
---------------------------------------------

GCF: First Job

"That's a great place to work!" shouted my 16-year-old brother after coming home from the first day at his first job. "I get two weeks' paid vacation."

"I'm so glad," said my mother.

"Yeah," he added. "I can't wait to find out where they send me."
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me another humor list (Good Clean Funnies List) -Tom To subscribe The Good Clean Funnies List, (not to be confused with this list, which is Good Clean Fun) send an email to:
gcfl-request@gcfl.net with subject = add
---------------------------------------------

GCF: Weddings and Funerals

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next."

They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
_ ____________________________ _
Found at The Shark Tank (Computerworld) -Tom
http://blogs.computerworld.com/16322/aha?source=CTWNLE_nlt_shark_2010-06-15
---------------------------------------------

GCF: Aha!

This tech goes on vacation -- something his co-workers dread, reports another tech on the scene.

"Problems always arise when he leaves," the tech says. "And so it happened: We have a computer gathering data on all outgoing phone calls in our company. The operator noticed that there were no new records that week, and called us.

"We went to the room where the computer stood amidst a jungle of cables, without knowing what their use was.

"After a half-hour of fighting with it, we had to disturb our friend on his vacation. Luckily he answered and told us that the solution was simple: We just had to plug the dark gray cable to the computer.

"We took a look, but found no 'dark' one, but simply a bunch of equally gray cables.

"After scratching our heads and telling him that we could not find it, we noticed a lonely red cable. We plugged it in and voila!
Everything was back to normal.

"That's when we remembered that he was color blind."
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me from another humor list (Daily Humor) -Tom To subscribe to Daily Humor, send a blank email to: Daily-Humor-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
---------------------------------------------

GCF: Father's Day Card

Father's Day was near when I brought my three-year-old son to the card store. Inside, I showed him the cards for dads and told him to pick one.

When I looked back, he was picking up one card after another, opening them up and quickly shoving them back into slots every which way. "What are you doing?" I asked. "Haven't you found a nice card for Daddy yet?"

"No. I'm looking for one with money in it."
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me from another humor list (Joanna's Jokes) -Tom To subscribe to Joanna's Jokes, send a blank email to: JoannasJokes-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
---------------------------------------------

GCF: Ammunition Dump

At one time, the ammunition dump at Nellis AFB, Nevada, was commanded by a colonel whose strict rule was no matches or lighters in the ammo area. To test the men, he would occasionally walk among them with an unlighted cigar between his teeth, stopping now and then to ask an unsuspecting airman for a light.

One evening the colonel paused to watch a sergeant and his crew unpack bomb fuses. "Would any of you gentlemen have a light?" he asked.

"Yes, sir!" an airman piped up. The sergeant and crew stood braced for the colonel's wrath. But the deathly silence erupted into guffaws.

"Thank you, airman," the colonel said and strutted away. With a flourish, the airman switched off his flashlight and returned it to his pocket.
_ ____________________________ _
/ )| Thomas S. Ellsworth |( \
/ / | tellswor@kcbx.net | \ \
_( (_ | http://www.kcbx.net/~tellswor | _) )_
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Life expectancy would grow by \ /
\ _/ leaps and bounds if green \_ /
/ / vegetables smelled as good as bacon. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Always remember to pillage \ /
\ _/ BEFORE you burn. \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Taxation WITH representation \ /
\ _/ isn't so hot, either! \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Too many couples marry for \ /
\ _/ better or for worse, \_ /
/ / but not for good. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / You are here: \ /
\ _/ X \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Xerox never comes up \ /
\ _/ with anything original. \_ /
/ / \ \
_ ____________________________ _
/ )| Thomas S. Ellsworth |( \
/ / | tellswor@kcbx.net | \ \
_( (_ | http://www.kcbx.net/~tellswor | _) )_
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_| ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Oxymoron’s

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?
9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?
10. Why are they called " stands" when they are made for sitting?
11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?
12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?
13. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?
14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?
15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?
16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?
17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?
21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?
22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?
23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?
24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?
27.Christmas - What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?
28. Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway? I dunno, why do we?

Thanks to Waneta
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Dad at the Supermarket

My father was completely lost in the kitchen and never ate unless someone prepared a meal for him. When Mother was ill, however, he volunteered to go to the supermarket for her. She sent him off with a carefully numbered list of seven items.

Dad returned shortly, very proud of himself, and proceeded to unpack the grocery bags. He had one bag of sugar, two dozen eggs, three hams, four boxes of detergent, five boxes of crackers, six eggplants, and seven green peppers.

Received from Joan Flood, Reader's Digest.

(_:][:_)

Cowboy Insurance

A cowboy was trying to buy an insurance policy. The insurance agent was going down the list of standard questions. "Ever had an accident?"

"Nope, nary a one."

"None? You've never had any accidents?"

"Nope. Ain't never had one. Never."

"That's hard to believe. No accidents at all?"

"Well, a rattler bit me one time."

"Wouldn't you consider that an accident?"

"Nope! The varmint bit me on purpose!"

Received from Doc's Daily Chuckle.

(_:][:_)

911 Dispatcher

Part of my job as a 911 dispatcher is to interrogate callers who are in various states of panic so I can send the appropriate emergency equipment.

One day a woman called to say that a family member had fallen and needed to go to a hospital.

After finding out where she lived and assuring her that the paramedics would arrive shortly, I asked her, "Do you know what caused the fall?"

"No," the woman nervously replied. "What?"

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

(_:][:_)

Start a Flood

A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the sunny Caribbean. They were discussing their great vacations when the lawyer said, "I'm here because my house burned down, and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything."

"That is quite a coincidence," said the engineer. "I'm here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything."

The lawyer, quite puzzled, asked, "How DO you start a flood?"

Received from ArcaMax Jokes.

(_:][:_)

The Effectiveness of a Tennis Ball

A college professor had the mysterious habit of removing a tennis ball from his jacket pocket as he walked into the lecture hall each morning. He would set it on the corner of the podium. After giving the lecture for the day, he would once again pick up the tennis ball, place it into his jacket pocket, and leave the room.

No one ever understood why he did this, until one day ...

A student fell asleep during the lecture. The professor didn't miss a word of his lecture while he walked over to the podium, picked up the tennis ball, and threw it, hitting the sleeping student squarely on the top of the head.

The next day, the professor walked into the room, reached into his jacket, removed a baseball ...

No one ever fell asleep in his class the rest of the semester!

(_:][:_)

_=+=_
Rate this funny at http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny060113
Brought to you by GCFL.net: The Good, Clean Funnies List A cheerful heart is good medicine... (Prov 17:22a) Mail address: GCFL, Box 100, Harvest, AL 35749, USA
To print or email this funny to others, go to http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny060113
The latest GCFL funny can always be found on the web at http://www.gcfl.net/latest.php
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Column - - As a recovering attorney, I feel it's my duty to write the occasional lawyer spoof. Wherefore, I hereby offer "That's What The Law's About." Feel free to sing it to "The Hokey Pokey," using this midi link which opens a second window:

You have to dot those i's.
You've got to cross those t's.
You have to seem so wise.
You must justify those fees.
And if you're smart and lucky
You will turn your case around.
That's what the law's about.

You have to file those claims.
You've got to sue those stiffs.
You have to shift the blame,
With no ands or buts or ifs.
And if you're bright and plucky
You will turn your case around.
That's what the law's about.

You've got to prep those briefs
And make them long and dense,
And prove your clients' beefs,
Even if they make no sense.
Be sure to play your cards right,
And a winner you'll be found.
That's what the law's about.

You have to seem real smart,
As if you know it all.
Recite Fed Code by heart.
Always make good judgment calls.
And if you do your homework,
Your opponents will be trounced.
That's what the law's about.

Must keep that meter on.
And never turn it off.
Yes even in the john,
Or they'll think you're going soft.
Your client might just pay you,
If a winner he is crowned.
That's what the law's about.

So keep that Lexis near,
Right on your 'puter screen.
And soon you'll have no peer.
What a genius you will seem!
And if you're most convincing,
Your opponents you will pound.
That's what the law's about.

Go tell the judge you're right.
Show where and why and how.
And be prepared to fight.
Let them never see you cowed.
And if you argue sharply,
Other lawyers will be wowed.
That's what the law's about.

You've got to win, win, win,
With logic, brains, and clout.
To lose is such a sin.
Let there never be a doubt.
In deals and litigation
You must rub the en'my out.
That's what the law's about.

© September 13, 2003 Madeleine Begun Kane. All Rights Reserved.

© Madeleine Begun Kane. All Rights Reserved.
http://www.madkane.com/
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Meet the Very Technical, Highly Engineered Dromedary Camel.
(From Moody Press)

When I'm hungry, I'll eat almost anything- a leather bridle, a piece of rope, my master's tent, or a pair of shoes.
My mouth is so tough a thorny cactus doesn't bother it.
I love to chow down grass and other plants that grow here on the Arabian desert.
I'm a dromedary camel, the one-hump kind that lives on hot deserts in the Middle East.
My hump, all eighty pounds of it, is filled with fat-my body fuel-not water as some people believe.
My Mighty Maker gave it to me because He knew I wouldn't always be able to find food as I travel across the hot sands.
When I don't find any chow, my body automatically takes fat from the hump, feeds my system, and keeps me going strong.
This is my emergency food supply.
If I can't find any plants to munch, my body uses up my hump.
When the hump gets smaller, it starts to tip to one side.
But when I get to a nice oasis and begin to eat again, my hump soon builds back to normal.
I've been known to drink twenty-seven gallons of water in ten minutes.
My Master Designer made me in such a fantastic way that in a matter of minutes all the water I've swallowed travels to the billions of microscopic cells that make up my flesh.
Naturally, the water I swallow first goes into my stomach.
There thirsty blood vessels absorb and carry it to every part of my body.
Scientists have tested my stomach and found it empty ten minutes after I've drunk twenty gallons.
In an eight hour day I can carry a four hundred pound load a hundred miles across a hot, dry desert and not stop once for a drink or something to eat.
In fact, I've been known to go eight days without a drink, but then I look a wreck.
I lose 227 pounds, my ribs show through my skin, and I look terribly skinny.

But I feel great!

I look thin because the billions of cells lose their water.
They're no longer fat. They're flat.
Normally my blood contains 94 percent water, just like yours.
But when I can't find any water to drink, the heat of the sun gradually robs a little water out of my blood.
Scientists have found that my blood can lose up to 40 percent of its water, and I'm still healthy.
Doctor's say human blood has to stay very close to 94 percent water. If you lose 5 percent of it, you can't see anymore; 10 percent, you can't hear and you go insane; 12 percent, your blood is as thick as molasses and your heart can't pump the thick stuff. It stops, and you're dead.
But that's not true with me.
Why?
Scientists say my blood is different.
My red cells are elongated. Yours are round.

Maybe that's what makes the difference.
This proves I'm designed for the desert, or the desert is designed for me.
Did you ever hear of a design without a Designer?
After I find a water hole, I'll drink for about ten minutes and my skinny body starts to change almost immediately.
In that short time my body fills out nicely, I don't look skinny anymore, and I gain back the 227 pounds I lost.
Even though I lose a lot of water on the desert, my body conserves it too.
Way in the beginning when my intelligent Engineer made me, He gave me a specially designed nose that saves water.
When I exhale, I don't lose much.
My nose traps that warm, moist air from my lungs and absorbs it in my nasal membranes.
Tiny blood vessels in those membranes take that back into my blood.
How's that for a recycling system? Pretty cool, isn't it.
It works because my nose is cool.
My cool nose changes that warm moisture in the air from my lungs into water.
But how does my nose get cool?
I breath in hot dry desert air, and it goes through my wet nasal passages.
This produces a cooling effect, and my nose stays as much as 18 degrees cooler than the rest of my body.
I love to travel the beautiful sand dunes.
It's really quite easy, because my Creator gave me specially engineered sand shoes for feet.
My hooves are wide, and they get even wider when I step on them.
Each foot has two long, bony toes with tough, leathery skin between my soles, are a little like webbed feet.
They won't let me sink into the soft, drifting sand.
This is good, because often my master wants me to carry him one hundred miles across the desert in just one day. (I troop about ten miles per hour.)
Sometimes a big windstorm comes out of nowhere, bringing flying sand with it.
My Master Designer put special muscles in my nostrils that close the openings, keeping sand out of my nose but still allowing me enough air to breathe.
My eyelashes arch down over my eyes like screens, keeping the sand and sun out but still letting me see clearly.
If a grain of sand slips through and gets in my eye, the Creator took care of that too.
He gave me an inner eyelid that automatically wipes the sand off my eyeball just like a windshield wiper.
Some people think I'm conceited because I always walk around with my head held high and my nose in the air.
But that's just because of the way I'm made.
My eyebrows are so thick and bushy I have to hold my head high to peek out from underneath them.
I'm glad I have them though.
They shade my eyes from the bright sun.
Desert people depend on me for many things.
Not only am I their best form of transportation, but I'm also their grocery store.

Mrs. Camel gives very rich milk that people make into butter and cheese.
I shed my thick fur coat once a year, and that can be woven into cloth.
A few young camels are used for beef, but I don't like to talk about that.
For a long time we camels have been called the "ships of the desert" because of the way we sway from side to side when we trot.
Some of our riders get seasick.
I sway from side to side because of the way my legs work.
Both legs on one side move forward at the same time, elevating that side.
My "left, right left, right" motion makes my rider feel like he is in a rocking chair going sideways.
When I was six months old,special knee pads started to grow on my front legs.
The intelligent Creator knew I had to have them.
They help me lower my 1000 pounds to the ground.
If I didn't have them,my knees would soon become sore and infected, and I could never lie down.
I'd die of exhaustion.
By the way, I don't get thick knee pads because I fall on my knees.
I fall on my knees because I already have these tough pads.
Someone very great thought of me and knew I needed them.
He designed them into my genes.
It's real difficult for me to understand how some people say I evolved into what I now am.
I'm very technical, highly engineered dromedary camel.
Things like me don't just happen.
They're planned on a drawing board by Someone very brilliant, Someone very logical.

Thanks to Waneta
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Concentrate on this sentence "To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did" When God takes something from your grasp. He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better.
Concentrate on this sentence. "The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.

Thanks to Waneta
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
TOURBUS - - Vol 15, Number 57
14 JUN 2010
80,000 Riders in Over 100 Countries

Merchant Accounts / Cheap Hard Drives / Satellite TV / Online Converters / Facebook Privacy / Geekly Update In today's TOURBUS, you'll learn about Credit Card Merchant Accounts. If you'd like to sell stuff online, find out how to accept plastic. And what about Cheap Hard Drives -- does low cost mean inferior quality? I've also got the scoop on Free Satellite TV. Yes, you really can get satellite TV for free, and it's completely legal.

And just in case you ever need to convert foot pounds to newton meters, or Spanish to Swedish Chef, I've got a roundup of awesome Online Converters that will convert almost anything to its equivalent in another format. You'll also find two new editions of the Geekly Update, guaranteed to help you impress the alpha geek in your office. And finally, have you checked your Facebook Privacy Settings lately? Bits and pieces of your online social life might be up for sale. Read on!

Credit Card Merchant Accounts - - If you want to sell anything, online or in a brick and mortar store, you really need to accept major credit cards. Few people carry much cash these days, and check fraud has become so widespread that many merchants have stopped accepting checks altogether.
To accept credit or debit cards for payment, you need what's called a merchant account. Here's the scoop on getting a merchant account for your online business venture...
[http://askbobrankin.com/credit_card_merchant_accounts.html?tbart]

Cheap Hard Drives - Are They Worth the Money? - - Would you pay five million dollars for a 500GB hard drive? Hard drives are the workhorses of mass storage, and virtually every computer has one. There are dozens of hard drive manufacturers worldwide. So it's not surprising that competition and technology improvements have driven hard drive prices to all-time record lows. That's good news.
But are cheap hard drives truly a bargain? Read on for some tips on buying a hard drive, and some things to watch out for...
[http://askbobrankin.com/cheap_hard_drives.html?tbart]

Free Satellite TV - Is it Legal? - - A reader asks: "I've heard about 'free-to-air' satellite TV channels you can receive if you have a satellite dish. Is this true? If so, what channels can I get, what equipment do I need, and is it legal?" If you're paying for satellite TV service, it may surprise you to learn that there's a free version, too.
Free to air (FTA) satellite TV delivers thousands of channels of broadcast content via satellite to consumers all over the world. Read on to learn more about how to tune in free satellite TV programming...
[http://askbobrankin.com/free_satellite_tv.html?tbart]

Free Online Converters - - How many acres are there in 124 hectares of land? The answer might not have mattered often in the past, but today's global economy often requires conversion of measurement units from one country, culture or discpline into another's.

If you ever need to convert miles to kilometers, dollars to euros, or almost anything else, here's the scoop on the best free online conversion tools...
[http://askbobrankin.com/online_converters.html?tbart]

Geekly Update - - Is it true that the new iPhone 4 can actually levitate? Are people tiling their bathroom floors with spare iPads? And is there a secret way to make the Google home page less boring?
Get answers to these burning questions, and permission to unfriend 3 Facebook friends you don't really like anyway, just by reading the most recent installments of the Geekly Update...
GEEKLY UPDATE - JUN 08 [http://askbobrankin.com/geekly_update_jun_08.html?tbart]
GEEKLY UPDATE - JUN 15 [http://askbobrankin.com/geekly_update_jun_15.html?tbart]

Facebook Privacy Settings - - Facebook faces a mutiny from its millions of users. The company has outraged, exasperated, and frightened almost every user who has paid any attention to recent changes in his or her Facebook connections and privacy settings.
If you're not paying attention to your Facebook privacy settings, you should. Here's why, and what you need to do...
[http://askbobrankin.com/facebook_privacy_settings.html?tbart]

That's all for now, see you next time!
-- Bob Rankin
==[ Tourbus Rider Information ]===
The Internet Tourbus - U.S. Library of Congress ISSN #1094-2238
Copyright 1995-2010 - All rights reserved
Be Smarter & Better Looking Than [-99.959048-] Percent of Users
Hop On the Bus and Join 80,000 Others Around the World!
============================
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
The Pump Handle. A water cooler for the public health crowd.
An Inconvenient Truth - Respirators Needed in the Gulf Cleanup

Category: BP • Chemicals Policy • OSHA • Occupational Health & Safety

by Eileen Senn, MS

It seems obvious to many that respirators are needed to protect cleanup workers in the Gulf from inhaling air contaminants that are making some sick now and may make many more chronically ill in the future. I will describe a combination of political and scientific issues conspiring to prevent the needed respirators from being provided. They include:

*Lack of focus on the adverse health effects of airborne contaminants
*Limited air sampling
*Outdated exposure limits
*Oil company protocols for limiting respirator use
*Concerns that respirators will worsen heat stress to workers
*OSHA requirements for respirator use
http://scienceblogs.com/thepumphandle/2010/06/an_inconvenient_truth_-_respir.php

http://scienceblogs.com/thepumphandle/
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Weekly Toll _ _ http://weeklytoll.blogspot.com/
Death In The Workplace w/News & Updates
John Donne _ ...any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.

Former ECC President Killed in Farm Accident - - June 12, ROCKY MOUNT, NC - 67 year old Hartwell Fuller died after an accident involving a tractor at his Dortches farm on the 5900 block of Brake Road. Fuller was a longtime educator and former Edgecombe Community College president. Since the late 1960s, Fuller had remained a key figure in the community college. Relatives have said Fuller was attempting to change out lawn mower blades so he could mow the farm’s grass. It later was reported that his tractor was not secure and that it flipped over and fell on top him around 9:30 a.m.

Springfield Man Dies in Farm Accident - - June 12, SPRINGFIELD, KS - 61 year old Mark Falkenstein died Thursday when his tractor overturned, pinning him underneath.Falkenstein was driving a tractor that was towing another tractor uphill about 4 p.m. when his tractor overturned, according to a news release from Kentucky State Police.

Two Men Killed On The Job in Valley - - June 12, VALLEY, AL - 53 year old Clemmie Dawsen and 43 year old Lorenzo Hodge of Opelika died while doing their jobs this morning. Dawson and Hodge work for a cleaning company out of Opelika, Top Notch Cleaning. They were at their last cleaning of the night at the O.D Alsobrook Center of East Alabama Mental Health. It is an outpatient counseling center. Valley Police said the two men were buffing the floors with machines that use propane gas. A worker found the men when she came into work this morning and immediately called 911. Both the worker and the police smelled gas when they walked in.

http://weeklytoll.blogspot.com
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NEVER FORGET! We're listing the names of our soldiers killed since our last Bleat was published. These records can be found at http://www.defenselink.mil/releases/

The Department of Defense announced today the death of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Enduring Freedom. They died June 11 at Forward Operating Base Bullard, Afghanistan, from wounds sustained when insurgents attacked their unit using an improvised explosive device. They were assigned to the 1st Battalion, 110th Infantry Regiment, Connellsville, Pa. Killed were:
01. Sgt. 1st Class Robert J. Fike, 38, of Conneautville, Pa.
02. Staff Sgt. Bryan A. Hoover, 29, of West Elizabeth, Pa.

The Department of Defense announced today the deaths of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died June 11 in Jalula, Iraq, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked their unit with a vehicle-borne improvised explosive device. They were assigned to the 5th Battalion, 20th Infantry Regiment, 3rd Stryker Brigade Combat Team, 2nd Infantry Division, Joint Base Lewis-McChord, Wash. Killed were:
03. Sgt. Israel P. Obryan, 24, of Newbern, Tenn., and
04. Spc. William C. Yauch, 23, of Batesville, Ark.

05. Spc. Christian M. Adams, 26, of Sierra Vista, Ariz., died June 11 in Kandahar, Afghanistan, of wounds sustained from a non-combat related incident. He was assigned to the 20th Engineer Battalion, 36th Engineer Brigade, Fort Hood, Texas.

06. Sgt. Mario Rodriguez, 24, of Smithville, Texas, died June 11 in Powrak, Afghanistan, of wounds sustained when insurgents attacked his unit using small arms and rocket-propelled grenade fires. He was assigned to the 264th Clearance Company, 27th Engineer Battalion (Combat) (Airborne), 20th Engineer Brigade, Fort Bragg, N.C.

07. Spc. Brian M. Anderson, 24, of Harrisonburg, Va., died June 12 in Za Khel, Afghanistan, of wounds sustained when insurgents attacked his vehicle using an improvised explosive device. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 87th Infantry Regiment, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 10th Mountain Division (Light Infantry), Fort Drum, N.Y.

08. Spc. Christopher W. Opat, 29, of Spencer, Iowa, died June 15 in Baquah, Iraq of injuries sustained from a non-combat related incident. He was assigned to the 1st Squadron, 14th Cavalry Regiment, 3rd Stryker Brigade Combat Team, 2nd Infantry Division, Joint Base Lewis-McChord, Wash.

The Department of Defense announced today the deaths of four soldiers who were supporting Operation Enduring Freedom. They died of wounds suffered when enemy forces attacked their vehicle with an improvised explosive device June 7 in Konar, Afghanistan. They were assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 327th Infantry Regiment, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), Fort Campbell, Ky. Killed were:
09. Sgt. Joshua A. Lukeala, 23, of Yigo, Guam;
10. Spc. Matthew R. Catlett, 23, of Houston, Texas;
11. Spc. Charles S. Jirtle, 29, of Lawton, Okla.; and
12. Spc. Blaine E. Redding, 22, of Plattsmouth, Neb.

13. Cpl. Jeffrey R. Standfest, 23, of St. Clair, Mich., died June 16 while supporting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to 3rd Combat Engineer Battalion, 3rd Marine Division, IIIMarine Expeditionary Force, based at Marine Corps Air Ground Combat Center Twentynine Palms, Calif.

14. Lance Cpl. Michael C. Bailey, 29, of Park Hills, Mo., died June 16 while supporting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to 3rd Battalion, 7th Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, IMarine Expeditionary Force, based at Marine Corps Air Ground Combat Center Twentynine Palms, Calif.

15. Spc. Benjamin D. Osborn, 27, of Queensbury, N.Y., died June 15 in Shigalwashheltan district, Konar, Afghanistan, of wounds sustained when insurgents attacked his unit using small arms and rocket-propelled grenade fires. He was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 327th Infantry Regiment, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), Fort Campbell, Ky.
~
Air Force MIAS from Vietnam War are Identified

The Department of Defense POW/Missing Personnel Office (DPMO) announced today that the remains of four U.S. servicemen, missing in action from the Vietnam War, have been identified and returned to their families for burial with full military honors.

They are Capt. Peter H. Chapman, II, Centerburg, Ohio; Tech. Sgt. Allen J. Avery, Auburn, Mass.; Tech. Sgt. Roy D. Prater, Tiffin, Ohio; and Sgt. James H. Alley, Plantation, Fla., all U.S. Air Force.

Prater is to be buried in Columbia City, Ind., on June 19. Other burials are being scheduled individually by the families of the airmen.

On April 6, 1972, six airmen were flying a combat search and rescue mission in their HH-53C Super Jolly Green Giant helicopter over Quang Tri Province in South Vietnam when they were hit by enemy ground fire and crashed. Joint U.S. – Socialist Republic of Vietnam (S.R.V.) field investigations from 1989 to 1992, led by the Joint POW/MIA Accounting Command (JPAC), yielded evidence leading to an excavation at the crash site in 1994 as well as two reported burial sites. Team members recovered human remains and personal effects as well as aircraft debris. As a result of these recoveries, all six men on the aircraft were accounted-for in 1997 and buried as a group at Arlington National Cemetery near Washington, D.C. Three were individually identified at that time. Recent technical advances enabled JPAC to identify additional remains to be those of Prater.

Previously, in 1988, the S.R.V. turned over remains they attributed to an American serviceman, however, the name did not match anyone lost or missing from the Vietnam War. The remains were held by JPAC pending improved technology which might have facilitated an identification later.

In the mid-2000s, JPAC’s laboratory gained increased scientific capability to associate the 1988 remains to the correct loss. The Armed Forces DNA Identification Laboratory (AFDIL) tested these remains against all those servicemembers who were MIA from the Vietnam War with negative results. In 2009, AFDIL expanded its search to make comparisons with previously- resolved individuals. As a result of AFDIL’s mitochondrial DNA testing, JPAC scientists determined that these remains were associated with four of the six airmen from the 1972 crash.

For additional information on the Defense Department’s mission to account for missing Americans, visit the DPMO Web site at http://www.dtic.mil/dpmo or call 703-699-1169.
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"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." __ Franklin D. Roosevelt
"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. _ _ George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" _ _ Queen E. Watson
“A political class of Republicans and Democrats that look after themselves, not the Nation. A media hostile to the very precepts of this nation. A generation of Americans who see morals as vices, and are ignorant of America's Actual History.”
"The things that will destroy America are prosperity-at-any-price, peace-at-any-price, safety-first instead of duty-first, the love of soft living, and the get-rich-quick theory of life." - - Theodore Roosevelt
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Scheduled Activities
Men's Prayer Breakfast held every Tuesday morning at 6 AM in Miller's Cafeteria. If you aren't a regular participant at the Men's Prayer Breakfast, you're missing some great food, fellowship and inspired teaching of the Word. Hope to see you there.
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Emergency Phone Number 911
(Fire, Police, Ambulance, Sheriff, etc. )
Central Dispatch 234_5655
(Non _ Emergency Number)
Direct Numbers
Ambulance _ 234_7371 (24 Hour)
Jail _ 234_5331 (24 Hour)
Poison Control _ 800_222_1222 (24 Hour)
http://www. aapcc. org/
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Interested in getting in touch with the Banner_News through e_mail?
E_mail addresses for communicating with the newspaper’s various departments are:
editor@bannernews.net For the editor, news@bannernews.net For news and sports items, Coming Events, Diary, Church News, school and civic events.
advertising@bannernews. net For retail and classified advertising.
circulation@bannernews. net To start, stop or cancel newspaper delivery or for comments about delivery.
outfitters @bannernews.net For Office Outfitters, the office supply division of the Banner_News.
[http://www.bannernews.net/]
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"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." __ "Bug"
"I read the end of the book. We win!" __ "Bug"
"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." __ "Bug"
"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." _ _ "Bug"
"It's no big deal doing what God tells you to do. A big deal would be NOT doing what God tells you to do. Just ask Jonah." _ _ Paul Troquille
“Nam et ipsa scientia potestas est.” Knowledge is power. _ Francis Bacon
"The problem is here and now. The time for talk is past. The time for action is now."
Comments on the first Earth Day _ James F. McClellan via John "Fuzzy" Thurman
~~~~~
Hope you enjoy the newsletter.
Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" __"Bug"
God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
Gal 1:15-18 Prov 3:27-30 Acts 11:15-17 Micah 7:5-7 Rom 2:28-29 http://www.e_min.org/
God is Good and Faithful CU 73 IC JFM CSP NREMT_I KC5HII

P. S. If you'd like to be added to the distribution, just drop us E_mail at kc5hii@suddenlink.net
. We offer "Da Bleat" as text, a "Blog" and as a newsletter with pictures in Word and PDF format. The latest issue is usually updated sometime Saturday. For the "Blog" version just go to one of the several addresses on the web. For the latest issue, go to http://www.bugsbleat.blogspot.com. Older issues can be found at http://www.bugsbleat_q__.blogspot.com, where _ is the quarter (1, 2, 3, or 4) and __ is the year (05, 06, 07, 08 or 09). We also have a site [http://bugsbleatphotos.blogspot.com/] where we post photos that I like.
Let us hear from you if we can switch you over to the "Word" or "PDF" version of "Da Bleat".
If you'd prefer to read "Da Blog" version, just drop us a note at kc5hii@suddenlink.net and we'll switch you from e:mail delivery to "Da Bleat" Blog. We appreciate your encouragement. We also appreciate your communication when you desire to be taken off our mail list. If you are on this mail list by mistake or do not wish to receive "Da Bleat," please reply back and tell us to discontinue service to you. This email was scanned by Norton AntiVirus 2010 before it was sent.
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Friday, June 11, 2010

Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Speeding Ticket - - Photos

 
Evangelist, Deputy Sheriff, Veteran - Lee Roy Martin speaks at Memorial Day.

 
Annette picks up mini "pecan pies" from the Magnolia Bakery to take to our doctor in Shreveport. (Always be nice to folks who stick needles in you.)

 
David’s “set up” to serve “Hot Dogs” in Baytown last week.

 
David and Rick serve ‘em up hot.
Posted by Picasa

Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Speeding Ticket - - Photos

 
Clydedales at SAU Stables

 
Josiah dressed to visit the Stables

 
Ethan liked the big horses.

 
Mamaw loves her boys.
Posted by Picasa

Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Speeding Ticket

Volume 12, Issue 24 Friday, June 11, 2010

Hello All,

Breaking News: CADDO GAP, Ark. – State police say 12 people are confirmed dead after flash floods triggered by heavy rains slammed a pair of campgrounds in southwestern Arkansas. Arkansas State Police spokesman Bill Sadler says he does not know if those killed early Friday were campers or area residents.
A tragic day in Arkansas with the loss of lives in the flood waters of Albert Pike. Some victims possibly still stranded. God's grace upon all. - - Tena Thompson Sanders
~
According to CNN the death toll is now 20 - - Norma Kay Rowe
Debra Tyler McMasters from Lewisville Arkansas lost her life in the flood. Her husband and 2 daughters are safe.
A friend’s son and grand-daughter are missing, the grandson's body has been found. Please keep this family in prayer. - - Jimmy Malone
~
This reminds me that wherever we are, we always need an emergency plan. At home, you should have a plan for fire (i.e. how you will get out of the house, where you will meet, etc.) as well as other emergencies (like severe weather.) When traveling, you should always look around your lodging for emergency exits and have a plan. When flying, know where the exits are and how to get your personal flotation device out. When camping, you should plan for fire and flood.
Survivors of disasters almost all reported that they thought about what they would do in advance. Be a survivor.
~~~~~
OSHA defines an egregious [conspicuously and outrageously bad or reprehensible] willful
[done on purpose; deliberate] violation as one due to willful and repeated citations and failure-to-abate those citations. In other words, they had been told to correct serious problems, and they didn't. Such violations indicate employers who have demonstrated recalcitrance or indifference to their employee’s safety and failure to comply with the Occupational Safety and Health Act.

Such attitudes rarely are confined to safety alone. They usually also encompass Environmental activities. Which Brings us to British Petroleum.

According to a report by the Center for Public Integrity, no other oil company inspected by OSHA in the last 3 years is even close to BP in the number of citations issued for egregious willful violations (760). Sunoco Inc. was cited for 8 willful violations. ConocoPhillips Co. was 4 willful, and CITGO Petroleum Corp. for 2 willful and EXXON also had just 1.

It turns out that BP has one of the worst worker safety records in the country. Their refineries account for 97 percent of all flagrant violations found in the refining industry by government safety inspectors over the past three years

“The only thing you can conclude is that BP has a serious, systemic safety problem in their company,” Jordan Barab, deputy assistant secretary of labor for occupational safety and health said.
~
So, what we have here is an organization totally out of touch with basic safety and environmental mores. Somehow, I doubt their latest disaster will change that.
~~~~~
In case you were wondering ... There are some good Father's Day ideas here. [http://www.amazon.com/gp/browse.html/ref=pe_70010_14165090_pe_greet/?node=506798]
~~~~~
I like bridges and Ferries. In fact, I guess I like any way to cross obstacles. Annette and our kids have patiently endured long trips out of our way to cross a bridge or ferry.
We’ve been over the Chesapeake Bay Bridge Tunnel five or six times. And I almost never miss a chance to take the Mobile Bay Ferry from Dauphin Island to Fort Morgan.
But it doesn’t have to be a major waterway to make me happy. I like the crossings over the Red River in Arkansas and Louisiana. My favorite was the Ferry between Doddridge and Bradley, on Arkansas 160. This was one of the old “Metal Barge” Ferries operated by the Arkansas Highway Department. It would hold 3 or 4 vehicles at a time. It was replaced by a modern bridge a few years ago.
A little further north and, unfortunately before my time. There used to be a Ferry over the Red River between Lewisville and Garland City, Arkansas. This was a privately run Ferry that was replaced by the old US 82 truss bridge in the 1930s. The Ferry lasted a little longer than expected because the Ferry owner blew up the bridge just before it was finished. Once he was jailed, the bridge was finished and we used to cross it often in the early 1970s as we traveled back and forth from Dallas. I’ve got some photos of this “stratospherically high” bridge that was really a test of your bravery if you crossed the narrow two lane bridge when big trucks were coming the other direction. Doak Boring used to regularly fly under this bridge in the 60s. Alas, it was replaced by a modern concrete bridge in the 80s when the US 82 bypass around Garland City was finished.
Some of my other favorite bridges are the old US 80 vehicle/railroad bridge over the Mississippi at Vicksburg. Trains still use this bridge but vehicles are required to use the I-20 crossing.
Another similar crossing which is still in use is the US 190 vehicle/rail bridge over the Mississippi on the north side of Baton Rouge. Trains are given a mile or more to slowly gain the altitude to cross the river. So, you drive below the railroad on the approach and then, on the bridge, you’re beside the trains.
The I-30 bridge at Memphis is a beautifully truss suspension bridge and the old Chain Bridge in Waco, Texas is a pleasure for all bridge enthusiasts.
~~~~~
Theology scares me a little bit. Not that I have an issue with sound doctrine or doubt that God can be known, it's just the whole box thing. You know, the systematic theology box. I do not have a problem with systematic study of God. I have a problem with trying to make God fit in your system.

I have discovered that the Bible is not a theoretical treatise. It is real life. Most of what we preach in our pulpits doesn't translate into Monday morning. You know, God is in the business of revealing Himself to His creation. Everything you really need to know to walk with God is there in plain sight. The most obvious meaning of scripture is usually the most meaningful. It takes an expert to really make it hard to understand. I do not remember one person in any of my congregations who had a doctrinal concern of their own concocting. They always got it from some preacher. Once you get a theologian, it seems that you will always need one.

Jimmy Malone
~~~~~
We are called to serve humanity, not please them. - - Jimmy Malone
~~~~~
Here are several Christian books that I recommend;

How Now Shall We Live? by Charles Colson, Nancy Pearcey

Being the Body: A New Call for the Church to Be Light in the Darkness by Charles Colson, Ellen Vaughn

William Wilberforce: A Hero for Humanity by Kevin Belmonte, Charles Colson

The Faith: What Christians Believe, Why They Believe It, and Why It Matters by Charles Colson, Harold Fickett

The Body by Charles Colson

"The Shack" by William P. Young

"Rooms" by James L. Rubart

For mature Christians, I suggest "Blue Like Jazz: Nonreligious Thoughts on Christian Spirituality" by Donald Miller or “Travelin’ Mercies” by Anne Lamont
~~~~~
As a certified hypochondriac and mass consumer of health care, I love nurses.
One of my favorite true stories was when I spent a year on the Children's ward at St. Vincent's in Little Rock. The nuns and nurses were challenged to control us kids. I got in trouble for sending toy soldiers across the hospital in those vacuum tube message things they had.
Anyway... Every morning they came in, woke me up, took my vitals, took blood, etc. One morning the nurse came in and, when she put the thermometer in my mouth, I chomped down and started chewing it. She yelled, jerked me up, ran over to the sink and started washing my mouth out. When sister Mary Maria, the head nun came in, she asked me why I'd done that. I told her that I was tired of the whole hospital routine.
She pursed her lips, looked at me and walked away. I figured I was dead meat. But, the next morning, she took me to the zoo. Wow!
So you goof up and they take you to the zoo. ... Unfortunately, as I found out when I grew up, this doesn't work in the normal workaday life.
~~~~~
Since being diagnosed with Congestive Heart Failure I've gotten about 12 pounds of fluid and 10 pounds of fat off. I’m sleeping much much better than I have for over a year. I guess this was coming on for a long time and I didn't realize it.
Oh, I still have to get up to use the bathroom but then I go right back to sleep and sleep soundly until the bladder requires another draining.
~~~~~
Yet another health issue was revealed a few Sunday mornings ago on Fox New's "Housecall w/ Dr. Rosenfeld" he said that men who regularly take Viagra, Cialis, Levitra, etc. have a higher incidence of hearing loss. Seems that increased blood flow in some parts of the body, such as the inner ear is not necessarily good. Hummmm ... so a guy can enjoy better physical relations with his spouse but, as a consequence, not be able to hear her. ... What's the downside?
~~~~~
Can your kids swim? A youth swimming course will be held each afternoon, Monday through Thursday, June 7-17 and June 21-July 1 at the SAU pool. This comprehensive course will place each child according to individual ability. Classes are for ages 4-12 and will strive to advance each child as far as possible. All classes are American Red Cross certified and will teach basic water safety. Class sizes are limited to 10.

Classes begin at 2 p.m., with a new class beginning every 30 minutes until 5 p.m. The cost of the class is $60. The instructor is Pam Mayo.
~~~~~
The Purple Hull Pea Festival and world championship Tiller Race is coming. [www.purplehull.com]
~~~~~
A GREAT story of self sacrifice for a stranger. [http://darynkagan.demo.nimbussoftware.com/heroism/2010/he_100511_skydivinghero.html]
~~~~~
* Conflicting reactions surround California's proposed plastic-bag ban [http://laist.com/2010/06/03/reactions_split_on_plastic_bag_ban.php]
The American Chemistry Council has released a study in the wake of the California Assembly passing a ban on plastic bags, with research showing that a similar, existing ban in San Francisco increased energy use, greenhouse-gas emissions and litter through the use of paper bags. California's ban would also cost consumers as much $1 billion in extra bag charges, the ACC said. LAist.com (Los Angeles) (6/3)

* ACC: California Assembly votes for billion-dollar consumer "tax" on bags; read news release. [http://www.americanchemistry.com/s_acc/sec_news_article.asp?CID=206&DID=11078]
~~~~~
I liked this video that Suzi Bennett Ingram shared. [http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=42E2fAWM6rA]. I liked the video. Good originality. And it's story of hope? ... That's the challenge for us old folks. We've seen so much disappointment in our lives that we tend to "poo poo" anyone who has the foolishness to hope.
But, when I reflect, I have to chose faith over despair and faith goes hand in hand with hope. Psalms 37:25 KJV - - I have been young, and now am old ; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken , nor his seed begging bread.
~~~~~
And, this worth watching also. http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=WUQYJ77qa50
~~~~~
I think "Global Warming" is a confusing phrase.
Some use this phrase meaning the earth is warming due to human activities.
Others use this phrase meaning the planet is experiencing a natural, cyclically warming.
Bottom line, the earth is getting more crowded and we are impacting the environment. But we could all live in caves and not burn ANYTHING and it wouldn't affect the temperature enough to make ANY difference.
The typical "hard core" environmentalist really wants to get rid of people and give the planet back to "Gaia." As the following quote illustrates. "It wasn't the Exxon Valdez captain's driving that caused the Alaskan oil spill. It was yours." ~ Greenpeace advertisement, New York Times, 25
~~~~~
WE HAVE MET THE ENEMY, AND HE IS US! - POGO.
Pogo was a Democrat. - - Chuck Jackson
~~~~~
The House Majority Whip wants the feds to investigate how an unemployed man won the South Carolina Democrat primary for the U.S. Senate. I think he’s onto something: the feds should investigate ANY Democrat who wins an election. - - Chuck Jackson
~~~~~
Southerners are very strange about that war. ... Shelby Foote
~~~~~
“Any effort that attempts to maintain social stability by silencing public media is outrageously wrong." --Shi Chuan, editorial in Chinese newspaper via Greg Jones
~~~~~
Depression is "Anger turned inward”
~~~~~
Cursing doesn't make you look any tougher, Mr. Obama. - - Jimmy Malone
~~~~~
"There's only one thing left to do... What I should have done all along!"~ Larry Boy - - Jimmy Malone
~~~~~
The purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble. - - Paula Johnson Porter
~~~~~
"I went to brush something off my face, and it was the floor."---Anthony Bourdain (quoting someone else!) via Paula Johnson Porter.
~~~~~
COWS - - Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the state of Washington? And, they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.
Thanks to Jay Brown
~~~~~
"You can safely assume that you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do." - - Anne Lamott
~~~~~
"Unforgiveness is like eating rat poison and waiting for the rat to die." From Anne Lamott’s book "Traveling Mercies" the chapter on forgiveness.
~~~~~
We often think we are human beings living a temporary spiritual existence. The truth is we are spiritual beings living a temporary human existence. - unknown author via Michael Maris
~~~~~
Temptation will lean on the doorbell. Opportunity may only knock once. - - CSI
~~~~~
The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory. - - Royce Ann Franks
~~~~~
We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. - - Chuck Jackson
~~~~~
Most people don't have a problem with Jesus, they have a problem with the Church.
It seems that most of our churches are non-prophet organizations. - Jimmy Malone
~~~~~
Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain . - - Vanessa Malone
~~~~~
You really do need to be reading Jimmy’s blog [http://jhmalone2.wordpress.com/]
~~~~~
DarynKagan.com - - Make reservations at a fast food restaurant? Why would you ever do that? I tell you in today's blog. [http://darynkagan.demo.nimbussoftware.com/darynsblog.html]

Unemployed Man Is Giving Away $10 A Day - - Reed Sandridge just might change your mind about facing tough times. Tighten up and go to fear? Not Reed. He's on an incredible journey--giving away $10 a day strangers. What giving is teaching him about getting.
Watch Video [http://darynkagan.demo.nimbussoftware.com/heroism/2010/he_100510_giveaway10dollars.html]
~
Angel On Jet Ski Saves Flood Victim - - Leslie Billis was in big trouble. Nashville's rising waters threatened her home. The 911 operator told her NOT to jump in the water. But there was a big chance her house was about to explode. Two bad choices, until she looked up and saw a stranger on a jet ski. You want to believe in angels? Watch this story.
Watch Video [http://darynkagan.demo.nimbussoftware.com/heroism/2010/he_100510_floodangel.html]
~
GMA Weather Anchor Shares His Biggest Inspiration - - It's more than tornadoes and hurricanes that make Good Morning America's Sam Champion go, "Wow!" His amazing sister fills his heart as she parents her teen son who has autism. She's also fighting for other kids who are aging out of a system that is focused on younger children. Watch Video >> [http://darynkagan.demo.nimbussoftware.com/heroism/2010/he_100519_anchorsinspiration.html]
~
Pretty and Tough In Pink - - This story is for anyone who likes to dress to the beat of a different drummer. Jeff Henderson is one tough cop at a Kansas high school. He also happens to love the color pink.
Watch Video [http://darynkagan.demo.nimbussoftware.com/heroism/2010/he_100519_toughinpink.html]
~
"Perfect" Pitcher Shows Us Grace and Class
The sports world can't stop talking about how Detroit Tigers pitcher Armando Galarraga was robbed of a perfect game because of an umpire's blown call. While the fans and reporters rant, Galarraga shows us all what it means to have grace and class even when you don't get your huge dream. Watch Video [http://darynkagan.demo.nimbussoftware.com/sports/2010/sp_100607_perfect_pitcher_galarraga.html]
~~~~~
You may not know about North Platte Canteen, but especially today, you need to watch this video. NORTH PLATTE CANTEEN [http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=07DGeLvDw8I]
~~~~~
(For those who are unaware: At all military base theaters, the National Anthem is played before the movie begins.)

I recently attended a showing of 'Superman 3' here at LSA Anaconda. We have a large auditorium we use for movies, as well as memorial services and other large gatherings. As is the custom at all military bases, we stood to attention when the National Anthem began before the main feature. All was going well until three-quarters of the way through The National Anthem, the music stopped.

Now, what would happen if this occurred with 1,000 18-22 year-olds back in the States? I imagine there would be hoots, catcalls, laughter, a few rude comments, and everyone would sit down and yell for the movie to begin. Of course, that is, if they had stood for the National Anthem in the first place.

Here in Iraq, 1,000 Soldiers continued to stand at attention, eyes fixed forward. The music started again and the Soldiers continued to quietly stand at attention. But again, at the same point, the music stopped. What would you expect 1000 Soldiers standing at attention to do?? Frankly, I expected some laughter, and everyone would eventually sit down and wait for the movie to start.

But No!!... You could have heard a pin drop, while every Soldier continued to stand at attention.

Suddenly, there was a lone voice from the front of the auditorium, then a dozen voices, and soon the room was filled with the voices of a thousand soldiers, finishing where the recording left off: "And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air, gave proof through the night that our flag was still there. Oh, say does that Star Spangled Banner yet wave, o'er the land of the free, and the home of the brave."

It was the most inspiring moment I have had in Iraq and I wanted you to know what kind of Soldiers are serving you. Remember them as they fight for us! Pass this along as a reminder to others to be ever in prayer for all our soldiers serving us here at home and abroad. Many have already paid the ultimate price.

Written by Chaplain Jim Higgins LSA Anaconda is at the Ballad Airport in Iraq , north of Baghdad.

Thanks to Waneta
~~~~~
Don't live here and disgrace my country. Go live in the Middle East and see how you like it. - Payne Stewart via Robert Lyons
~~~~~
http://rationalpolitics.net/forum/index.php
~~~~~
http://kitlange.com
~~~~~
soldiersangelsforum.com
~~~~~
America is not at war. The military is at war. - - America is at the mall, or watching the movie stars. [http://icasualties.org/]
~~~~~
Re; the forgotten war in Afghanistan ... Michael Yon was asked by the father of a soldier: "If you were a commander, what would you say to a group of US soldiers if one asked: "Sir, are we being asked to risk our lives to prop up a good man or a thug, feared and hated by the people of Afghanistan?"
Michael's Answer: ...... "Yes, we are being tasked to prop up a drug lord. That's our orders. Let's get to work."
~~~~~
I always like sharing Thomas S. Ellsworth’s Memorial Day Message.
~
This wasn't sent to me by another person or list, nor was it found posted elsewhere. It's just a few thoughts about a holiday which is special to me. It's one of those few times when I share something serious instead of humorous. -Tom

If this was forwarded to you, please consider your own subscription to Good Clean Fun. It's free! Just send an email to: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
----------------------------------------------------------

GCF: Memorial Day 2010

The joke for today has been sent. I want to be serious for a moment and talk about the holiday which will be celebrated here in the United States on Monday.

Memorial Day is on the last Monday in May and honors those men and women who lost their lives serving their country. What we celebrate as Memorial Day today, began at the end of the Civil War. Family members of the many soldiers slain in battle would visit the grave sites of their fallen relatives or friends and decorate the graves with flowers.

On May 5, 1868, General John Logan proclaimed this day a holiday through his General Order No. 11. The day was entitled Decoration Day and was first observed on May 30, 1868. The northern states celebrated this day every year, but the southern states celebrated a day similar to this on a different day until sometime after World War I.

In 1882, the name Decoration day was changed to Memorial Day, and in 1971, Memorial Day was declared a national holiday to be held on the last Monday of May every year. Over the years it has come to serve as a day to remember all U.S. men and women killed or missing in action in all wars.

I am truly grateful for the freedoms which we enjoy today. Too often, we take these gifts for granted, little realizing the sacrifice which was involved in ensuring that these freedoms continue to be a part of all of our lives. Be honest, how many of us think of Memorial Day as just another chance for a three-day weekend? A chance to go the lakes or beaches or mountains? A trip to Disneyland or Six Flags or some other amusement park?

If you are here in the United States, please remember to display the flag, not just for the day but for the whole weekend. Let's not forget the real reason for having this holiday. The quote below says it all. Please take the time to read it.

Take care everyone.

Tom
(HM2, USN 65-69)
----------------------------------------------------------
"It is, in a way, an odd thing to honor those who died in defense of our country in wars far away. The imagination plays a trick. We see these soldiers in our mind as old and wise. We see them as something like the Founding Fathers, grave and gray-haired. But most of them were boys when they died, they gave up two lives -- the one they were living and the one they would have lived. When they died, they gave up their chance to be husbands and fathers and grandfathers. They gave up their chance to be revered old men. They gave up everything for their county, for us. All we can do is remember."

-- Ronald Wilson Reagan
Remarks at Veteran's Day ceremony, Arlington National Cemetery
Arlington, Virginia, November 11, 1985
----------------------------------------------------------
This time I wish to share something different. It is a YouTube link to a special song of thanks, from the Tussing Elementary School in Colonial Heights, Virginia. The 3rd Grade class did an original song giving tribute to those in the military. The song is called "Thank You Soldiers!"

Here is the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5pfBUUZNbFM
----------------------------------------------------------
I also want to let you know about TAPS (Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors).

TAPS is a 24/7 tragedy assistance resource for ANYONE who has suffered the loss of a military loved one, regardless of the relationship to the deceased or the circumstance of the death.

Founded out of tragedy in 1994, TAPS has established itself as the front line resource to the families and loved ones of our military men and women. TAPS provides comfort and care through comprehensive services and programs including peer based emotional support, case work assistance, crisis intervention, and grief and trauma resources.

Caring for the families of the fallen...

http://www.taps.org/
----------------------------------------------------------
A final thought.....

Over the years the meaning of Memorial Day has faded too much from the public consciousness. From a solemn day of mourning, remembrance, and honor to the men and women who died in providing the freedoms we enjoy, it has been reduced to a weekend of BBQ's, shopping bargains and beaches where only token nods toward our honored dead is given, if at all. Too many don't know what the day stands for.

Thanksgiving is a day when we pause to give thanks for the things we have.

Memorial Day is a day when we pause to give thanks to the people who fought for the things we have.

So, let's not forget those who made the ultimate sacrifice. They are remembered in all our prayers. Also, let's not forget a prayer for the safety of all service men and women, whether they serve at home or overseas. Finally, a heartfelt Semper Fi from this Hospital Corpsman is sent to all the Marines I knew. -Tom
~~~~~
Each week the Defense Department highlights military personnel who have gone above and beyond in the war. [http://www.defenselink.mil/heroes/] - - Arron Halford - - Awarded: The Bronze Star - - The first time U.S. Army Reserve Sergeant Arron Halford deployed to Iraq in 2004 was during one of the peaks in attacks against coalition forces. Because Halford had been tasked with providing convoy security for the deployment, it meant he was out on the road a lot.

"It was really bad back then," Halford said of the security conditions on the roads he travelled. "There were lots of IEDs, that was the main concern. That was actually, I’d say, one of the worse periods over there. If you look at the number of attacks against coalition forces that was one of the worst times."

After a long career in the Navy and then the Navy Reserve, Halford had joined the Army Reserve in 2004 as Military Police. The situation on the ground during the 2004 deployment caused the Army to assign Halford to provide security to convoys as they traveled from base to base.

"We would take off on a mission and escort a convoy from [camp] Anaconda up to Mosul, Camp Cedar, Taji," Halford said, describing the long circuitous journeys throughout the country. When they traveled they would transport "everything from retro tires to tank tread. Pretty much anything," he said.

Spending so much time on the roads, Halford was keenly aware of the danger he faced daily, he said.

Despite the danger around them at that time, it wasn’t until his next deployment in 2007 - 2008 that Halford encountered true danger on the roads of Iraq.

Halford served during this deployment providing protective services for a Marine Corps Colonel.

During a routine mission on March 29, 2008, Halford was escorting the Colonel from the Ramadi Government Center to Camp Fallujah. Halford was the Truck Commander of the second Humvee in the three-vehicle convoy.

The convoy has almost reached their destination, when the Humvee in which Halford was traveling struck an IED.

The IED had set the vehicle on fire, Halford said, and as he tried to account for the other three passengers in the vehicle, one did not respond. As the Humvee filled with smoke, Halford ordered everyone to evacuate.

"When I tried to do accountability I realized that [the Major] was still inside," he said.

The explosion had forced the Major’s seat forward, pinning his legs inside, Halford said.

Grabbing a fire extinguisher from the other vehicle in the convoy, Halford fought to put out the flames so that the Major could be saved from the burning vehicle.

When the fire ignited all the rounds of ammunition in the vehicle, Halford was forced to take cover momentarily, but was then able to resume fighting back the flames to reach the Major who was unconscious and still trapped inside.

Eventually Halford, with the assistance of two fellow service members, was able to extract the Major fully from the burning vehicle.

Despite their efforts, the Major passed away three days later as a result of the trauma of the explosion itself. The Major had chosen to come on the trip because he had wanted to purchase an anniversary gift for his wife, Halford said.

Halford, who was uninjured in the event, earned a Bronze Star medal with "Valor" for his actions on that day.

"I’d rather not have the medal," Halford said. "Because I’d rather have the [Major] still be alive."

"I don’t really know if I did anything super-heroic. I just did my job. I did what I wish someone had done if it was me trapped in that Humvee."
~
Andy Lee - - Awarded: The Bronze Star - - Just when U.S. Marine Corps Sergeant Andy Lee thought he had reached the end of a long, exhausting day he was suddenly called to action by the eruption of enemy fire nearby.

Lee and his four-man team had spent the day providing heavy machine gun fire support to Bravo Company's 3rd platoon. Working to secure villages in the Nawa District of Helmund Province before upcoming elections, the platoon moved from house to house. As they entered and checked for weapons and IEDs, Lee and his team set up outside, ready to provide machine gun support in case it was needed.

That day, August 13, 2009, had passed without incident, Lee and his Marines were exhausted, nonetheless. Carrying their .50 Caliber Machine Gun and its required tripod, tools, and ammunition, they had traversed over 3 kilometers of extremely difficult terrain, each bearing a load of over 90 pounds, in heat of over 110 degrees.

"Pure pain" is how Lee described the feeling of carrying 95 pounds of equipment plus the protective gear they wore. No matter how strong, how in shape you are, he said, it's still going to hurt.

" But it has to get done. It would have been a really bad day if we weren't out there with that machine gun so I'm glad we did it."

The Marines moved out of one village and onto the next compound, each squad walking together, a few hundred meters separating each small group of men. As two of the squads were crossing a nearby tree line enemy fire erupted.

"All hell broke loose on that tree line," Lee said. "Two different squads came under fire."

The squad ahead of them began to receive small arms fire and rocket propelled grenade fire, and without hesitation, Lee pushed his machine gun team forward to assist.

"We were only roughly 500 meters from the actual squad when they started taking fire," he said. "We took the machine gun system fully assembled, rushed forward 200 meters, and started to fire."

Lee's machine gun team sprung into action and began laying down a heavy volume of suppressive fire towards multiple compounds to their due west. This instantly reduced the enemy's volume of fire, allowing the teams that were pinned down to begin their maneuver toward the compounds.

"I had to run back to get the ammunition," Lee explained. While he retrieving the heavy ammunition, and RPG struck and wounded the gunner on his team, he said.

Again Lee sprang to action, running as fast as he could back to where the rest of his team was set up. Lee was able to coordinate the evacuation of injured Marine, while continuing to provide machine gun support to the team under fire.

"It's what we always want to do, as Marines," Lee said of his training and preparation for the fight that day.

Lee earned a Bronze Star with Combat Distinguishing "V" for his actions that day.

"Without any regard for his own health or well-being, Sergeant Lee continued to aggressively assault the enemy and lead his men with precision," his award citation states. "With vehicles not an option due to restrictiveness of the terrain, 3rd platoon, Bravo Company relied solely on Sergeant Lees one machine gun... His personal valor, physical toughness, and devotion to the mission and the Marines he leads are above reproach."

"It's a humbling thing," Lee said of earning the medal. "It's what we do every day. If somebody said you did great, you can't really say you didn't. It's definitely an honor to wear it."

Lee cited his grandfather and great uncle who both served in the Army during WWII, he said. Lee is now the second in his family to wear the Bronze Star with "V"; his uncle earned one as well at Guadalcanal.
~~~~~
The latest from Michael Yon, the foremost “milnews” blogger on the web.
~
Greetings,

A new dispatch on Afghanistan is up: PENGUINS OF AFGHANISTAN [http://www.michaelyon-online.com/penguins-of-afghanistan.htm]

My intentions were to write several more dispatches about missions, yet there seems to be so little interest in Afghanistan that it hardly seems worth the time to write about real missions.

There is little embedded work coming from Afghanistan. McChrystal's censorship seems to be working. (For now.) He's losing the war and covering it up. The deception is easy when so few people are paying attention. We are losing the war. At this rate it will be lost.
--
A major dispatch is up. This dispatch required months of research in five countries: Afghanistan, Nepal, Vietnam, Cambodia, Laos.

Please read: Gobar Gas [http://www.michaelyon-online.com/gobar-gas.htm]
--
Have not yet returned to Afghanistan. Conducting many interviews. (More now than while in Afghanistan.)

Short interview with Squidge Magazine. [http://www.michaelyon-online.com/michael-yon-in-squidge-magazine.htm]
--
The Atlantic: Michael Yon's War

D.B. Grady [http://www.theatlantic.com/db-grady/]

This article has a lot of beef: Afghanistan, Thailand, General Stanley McChrystal, General David Petraeus, Brigadier General Daniel Menard, milkooks, Bob Ainsworth, and more.

Rich with information. Please CLICK [http://www.facebook.com/posted.php?id=207730000664&share_id=123846190982823&comments=1#s123846190982823].
--
For an idea of what these men and women do on a daily basis, please read "Pedros". This can make it easy to understand why so many people admire Pedros. If you get shot, blown up, sick, or whatever, there is almost no weather they will not fly in, and they will come into the hottest landing zones ever with guns... blazing to get you out.

Pedros don't paint red crosses on their helicopters. They mount miniguns.

Pedros don't play. [http://www.michaelyon-online.com/pedros.htm]
--
Important steps being taken. [http://www.michaelyon-online.com/court-decisions-on-bagram-detainees.htm]
--
Very Respectfully,

Michael Yon
Your Writer,

Please remember that this website accepts no advertisement and is dependent on your support.
Very Respectfully,

PS Please sign up for my Twitter.com updates at "Michael_Yon" [http://twitter.com/Michael_Yon] (not Michael Yon).

http://www.facebook.com/#/MichaelYonFanPage?ref=sgm
~
www.michaelyon-online.com
~
Http://www.michaelyon_online.com/index.php
~~~~~
If you would like to encourage US Troops overseas, but are not sure just how to begin, visit www.anysoldier.com for ideas.
~~~~~
We’ve Watched:
The House of Eliott: Series Rating: 8
An Ideal Husband Rating: 7
Believe in Me Rating: 8
The Mistress of Spices Rating: 6
Extraordinary Measures Rating: 7
Jesse Stone: Rating: 7
New In Town Rating: 7

Uncle Nino I Rated This Movie: 9
My Man Godfrey I Rated This Movie: 10
Desk Set I Rated This Movie: 10
Tugger: The Jeep 4x4 Who Wanted to Fly I Rated This Movie: 9
WALL-E I Rated This Movie: 10
Ballet Shoes I Rated This Movie: 10
Ball of Fire I Rated This Movie: 10
The Vicar of Dibley: I Rated This Movie: 6
Battle of the X-Planes: Nova I Rated This Movie: 8
It Happened One Night I Rated This Movie: 10
Serendipity I Rated This Movie: 8
You Can't Take It with You I Rated This Movie: 8
People Will Talk I Rated This Movie: 10
The First Wives Club I Rated This Movie: 7
Thomas & Friends: I Rated This Movie: 7
~~~~~
Paper Books We’ve recently read:

The executor / Jesse Kellerman. I Rated This Book: 4.5
Eight lives down : the story of the world's most dangerous job in the world's most dangerous place / Chris Hunter. I Rated This Book: 8.5
Traveling mercies : some thoughts on faith / Anne Lamott. I Rated This Book: 8
Reckless : a novel / Andrew Gross. I Rated This Book: 7.5
Matterhorn : a novel of the Vietnam War / Karl Marlantes. I Rated This Book: 8.5
~~~~~
Kindle books we recently read:

The Tery - (The LaNague Federation series) F. Paul Wilson I Rated This Book: 7.5
Wheels Within Wheels - (The LaNague Federation series) F. Paul Wilson I Rated This Book: 7.5
Healer - (The LaNague Federation series) F. Paul Wilson I Rated This Book: 7.5
~~~~~
http://www.shelfari.com
http://www.shelfari.com/bugsbleat/shelf
~~~~~
Photos on the front of this week’s “Bleat” include Shots of a “Clydesdale”, Da Boys, and Mamaw.
~~~~~
We’ve now got several addresses on the web for "Da Bleat." For the latest issue, go to http://www.bugsbleat.blogspot.com. Other issues can be seen at http://www.bugsbleat1q09.blogspot.com.
Our photos are posted at http://www.bugsbleatphotos.blogspot.com.
If you want to see photos of the April ’08 train wreck in Magnolia, go to http://www.bugsbleattw.blogspot.com/
~~~~~
Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
~~~~~
Be sure and keep Dr. Pat Antoon and his lovely wife Mandy in your prayers.
~~~~~
Peas in a Purple Pod

The Purple Hull Pea Festival takes place June 25-26 in Emerson, Ark. Held each year since 1990, the event features the Rotary Tiller Race and the Purple Hull Pea Shelling Competition. This recipe is adapted from the festival’s website (www.purplehull.com).

If you can’t find fresh purple hull peas, substitute any other fresh field pea, such as lady peas, crowders, pink-eyes or black-eyes.

Purple Hull Pea Salad
Mark Boughton

Ingredients
2 cups fresh shelled purple hull peas
4 cups reduced-sodium chicken or vegetable broth
1 small ham hock
1 garlic clove, minced
1/4 cup balsamic vinegar
Pinch of sugar
1 tablespoon Dijon mustard
Coarsely ground black pepper
3/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 (5-ounce) bag arugula or other salad greens
2 large ripe tomatoes, sliced
1 sweet onion, thinly sliced
4 tablespoons fresh basil, thinly sliced

Instructions
1. Combine peas, broth and ham hock in large saucepan or Dutch oven and bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer until peas are barely tender, about 20 minutes. (Do not overcook; peas should still be al dente.) Let peas cool in stock. (Peas will continue to cook as they cool.) When cool, drain peas in colander and refrigerate until ready to assemble salad.
2. Combine garlic, vinegar, sugar, mustard and pepper in deep glass bowl. Whisk in olive oil. Remove about 1/4 of the dressing to a glass jar. Add peas to bowl and toss to combine. Add salt.
3. Divide arugula among 6 salad plates, and arrange 2 or 3 tomato slices on the side. Using a slotted spoon, place peas on plate. Scatter onion and basil over salad. Serve with additional black pepper and pass remaining vinaigrette. Serves 6.

Adapted from the Emerson, Ark., Purple Hull Pea Festival website (www.purplehull.com)

Nutritional Information
Per serving: 380 calories, 29g fat, 9g protein, 22g carbohydrates, 5g fiber, 550mg sodium.

printed from AmericanProfile.com on 6/7/2010
~~~~~
Recipe(s) of the week - - Grab-and-Go Breakfast Sandwich - - makes 1 serving

What You Need!
1/4 cup cholesterol-free egg product
1 English muffin, split, toasted
1 KRAFT 2% Milk Sharp Cheddar Singles
1 slice OSCAR MAYER Turkey Bacon, cooked, cut crosswise in half

Make It!

COOK egg product in skillet sprayed with cooking spray on medium heat 3 min. or until set, stirring occasionally.

SPOON onto muffin half; cover with Singles, bacon and remaining muffin half.

Kraft Kitchens Tips - - Special Extra - - This is the perfect breakfast idea for the person on the go. Grab a napkin or paper towel to hold the sandwich and a banana to help round out the meal.

Calories 270
Total fat 8 g
Saturated fat 3 g
Cholesterol 25 mg
Sodium 840 mg
Carbohydrate 28 g
Dietary fiber 2 g
Sugars 2 g
Protein 18 g
Vitamin A 35 %DV
Vitamin C 0 %DV
Calcium 30 %DV
Iron 15 %DV

2 Starch + 2 Meat (L)

This grab-and-go sandwich is rich in calcium from the Singles and an excellent source of vitamin A from the egg product. Carb Choices: 2

http://www.kraftrecipes.com/recipes/grab-go-breakfast-sandwich-63765.aspx?pf=true

Your Summer Solution: These Delicious Sandwiches [http://dreammail.edgesuite.net/Thrive/GEGL/2010/jun/gegl_newsletter_june_VO.html]
~~~~~
BreakPoint

Statism and Scripture
Kudzu Government
By: Chuck Colson
Published: May 14, 2010 5:00 AM

Many Christians are uneasy with the growth of government in American life. They just can’t quite explain why.

From General Motors to health care. From bank bailouts to national anti-obesity campaigns. Government is becoming more and more involved of every aspect of American life.

Most Christians are rightly uncomfortable with this. But most of us can’t explain to our friends and neighbors why that is. That’s one reason I broadcast BreakPoint every day—to help Christians understand and defend a Christian worldview as it applies to every area of life.

It’s also why I launched the Colson Center for Christian Worldview. At ColsonCenter.org, we feature the work of respected theologians and worldview thinkers—people like T.M. Moore, my long-time colleague.

As part of his weekly “ViewPoint” Bible studies, T.M. Moore has written for us a fantastic study called “Kudzu Government: The Lust for Autonomy and the Roots of Statism.”

The fundamental principle of a statist worldview, T. M. writes, is the belief that “government is in the best position to create the conditions and provide the framework for maximum human flourishing. When such becomes the operating principle of a nation, then nothing is off limits for government intrusion, revision, redefinition, and control.”

T. M. compares this kind of government to kudzu, a rapid-growing, leafy vine. Kudzu has its proper place—as an ornamental vine in a garden. But when it grows unchecked, it literally devours everything in its path. Any of you who have ever driven down a country road in the South know exactly what I mean.

Likewise, government has its proper, biblically sanctioned role—which is to restrain evil and promote justice. But as T. M. writes, “When government becomes a law unto itself...it breaks the bounds of its proper confines, and forcing its ways on every other area and aspect of life, it smothers and chokes everything it touches—values, institutions, establishments and entities—and replaces them with itself.”

The statist worldview is particularly dangerous to religion. As T.M. writes, “Few things rankle the kudzu state more than the loud-mouthed prophet who simply won’t go along with the program.” So statist regimes either silence religion altogether (a la Communism and Nazism), or, just as insidiously, co-opt religion to use as a tool for government power and policy.

Look at the situation in America today. I’ve talked many times about the threat of abortion and gay marriage to religious freedom. Revoking non-profit status, laws about anti-discrimination in employment, revoking medical or pharmaceutical licenses—these are all “soft” ways that government can seek to force religious individuals and institutions into conforming to government policies.

What makes T. M.’s study on “Kudzu Government” so useful is the way it employs Scripture to illustrate the dangers of statism. The story of Jeroboam, Joseph in Egypt, Ahab, David, and Solomon—all of these illustrate the tendency of those in power to want to assert more and more authority over their subjects’ lives.

Please come to ColsonCenter.org to download a free copy of “Kudzu Government.” Use it yourself, and give it to your small group.

And be sure to come back every week for a new ViewPoint study by T. M. Moore on topics of great interest to Christians—all from a thoroughly biblical perspective.
Further Reading and Information

Rex Lex: Kudzu Government Part 1 [http://www.colsoncenter.org/the-center/columns/viewpoint/15158-rex-lex]
T.M. Moore | Colson Center | May 10, 2010

To Be as God: Kudzu Government Part 2 [http://www.colsoncenter.org/the-center/columns/viewpoint/15168-to-be-as-god]
T.M. Moore | Colson Center | May 11, 2010

What’s Yours Is Ours: Kudzu Government Part 3 [http://www.colsoncenter.org/the-center/columns/viewpoint/15171-whats-yours-is-ours]
T.M. Moore | Colson Center | May 12, 2010

Redefining Religion: Kudzu Government Part 4 [http://www.colsoncenter.org/the-center/columns/viewpoint/15181-redefining-religion]
T.M. Moore | Colson Center | May 13, 2010

Troubling the Truthful: Kudzu Government Part 5 [http://www.colsoncenter.org/the-center/columns/viewpoint/15190-troubling-the-truthfulhttp:/www.colsoncenter.org/the-center/columns/viewpoint/15158-rex-lex]
T.M. Moore | Colson Center | May 14, 2010

It’s the Culture: What Makes a Good Society [http://www.prisonfellowship.org/bpcommentaries/entry/13/14445]
Chuck Colson | BreakPoint Commentary | May 13, 2010
~
Marriage As Therapy or Covenant?
Worldview Matters
By: Chuck Colson
Published: June 11, 2010 5:00 AM
Topics: Marriage & Family, Politics & Government, Postmodernism

What’s marriage all about, anyway? Well, like almost everything else, that depends on your worldview.

Last week, another prominent couple made headlines by announcing the end of their marriage. It was former vice president Al Gore and his wife. I know both of them and always thought they were a perfect couple.

I am disappointed for them and saddened. Indeed, that seems to be the overwhelming reaction from the public and the media. Many, who saw the Gores as an ideal, loving couple who enjoyed and endured the ups and downs of public life together, wondered aloud if the Gore’s couldn’t keep going after 40 years, who can?

Well, that depends, as does so much, on your worldview.

And a perfect case in point is an article from last Friday’s New York Times entitled, “What Brain Scans Tell Us About Marriage.”

Author Tara Parker-Pope reported on recent research into the neuroscience of happy marriages. She cites one study in which 17 madly-in-love couples underwent a brain scan. When an individual was shown a picture of his or her spouse—ta-da!—the scan showed activity in that part of the brain associated with romance. In older couples, Parker-Pope writes, “researchers spotted something extra: parts of the brain associated with deep attachment were also activated.”

The researcher, Dr. Bianca Acevedo explained, “They have the feelings of euphoria, but also the feelings of calm and security that we feel when we’re attached to somebody.”

Dr Acevedo added, “I think it’s wonderful news.”

And I do, too. Parker-Pope, after highlighting the key to a happy marriage, asks two questions that highlighted for me exactly why marriages today are crumbling. One, “how much does your partner provide a source of exciting experiences?” And two, “how much has knowing your partner made you a better person?”

What do these two questions have in common? They are the epitome of the postmodern, therapeutic worldview—the worldview that asks one and only one question: What’s In It For Me?

Thus Parker-Pope can end her article on a happy postmodern note, quoting a Wharton School Economist: The Gores “had 40 years of marriage . . . The fact that they both can look forward and see a promising future by not being married [is] a celebration about how much optimism they have for the rest of their lives.”

Well, I cannot put such a happy face on divorce, nor do I mean to single out the Gores for criticism. Far from it, because I know all too well the pain divorce creates.

But I can’t stop from noticing how far our culture has drifted from the faith that founded it. Even 40 years ago, marriage was seen as a covenant, a sacrament in some traditions—a promise before God between a man and a woman to be faithful to one another until death did them part. Not seeking the good for one’s self, but the good of the other.

But in our therapeutic culture, as Parker-Pope’s questions illuminate so brilliantly, this has been turned 180 degrees. Marriage is now just another path, or obstacle, to self-fulfillment.

Please don’t tell me worldviews don’t matter. Or that they can’t shape a culture. We’ve gone in 40 years from the Christian belief in a lifelong commitment to seeing divorce as the start of a promising future. Please.

Further Reading and Information

What Brain Scans Can Tell Us About Marriage [http://www.nytimes.com/2010/06/06/fashion/06gore.html]
Tara Parker-Pope | The New York Times | June 4, 2010

Experts say long-term marriages that end in divorce aren't all that rare [http://www.freep.com/article/20100607/FEATURES01/6070307/1026/Experts-say-long-term-marriages-that-end-in-divorce-arent-all-that-rare]
Jocelyn Noveck | Detroit Free Press | June 7, 2010

Al and Tipper Gore announce separation [http://articles.latimes.com/2010/jun/02/nation/la-na-gore-separation-20100602]
Bob Drogin and Kathleen Hennessey | Los Angeles Times | June 2, 2010

Copyright © 2010 Prison Fellowship. All Rights Reserved _ _ http://www.breakpoint.org/
~
Residents of Columbia County, Arkansas are represented in Congress by:
Senator Blanche Lambert Lincoln (D_ AR)
Phone 202_224_4843
FAX 202_228_1371
http://lincoln.senate.gov/
~
Senator Mark Pryor (D_ AR)
Phone 202_224_2353
FAX 202_228_0908
http://pryor.senate.gov/
~
Representative Michael A. Ross (D _ 04)
Phone 202_225_3772
FAX 202_225_1314
http://ross.house.gov/
Other states congresspersons can be found at: [http://www.visi.com/juan/congress/]
~~~~~
Words of the Day:
chevron: a badge or insignia in the form of an inverted V.
muliebrity: womanly nature or qualities.
mugwump: a person who is unable to make up his or her mind on an issue, esp. in politics.
matriculate: to enroll in a college or university as a candidate for a degree.
malapert: unbecomingly bold or saucy.
afterclap: an unexpected repercussion.
sawyer: a person who saws wood, esp. as an occupation.
oleaginous: having the nature or qualities of oil.
goad: to prod; incite.
swain: a male admirer or lover.
Manichean: pertaining to a strongly dualistic worldview.
penumbra: an area in which something exists to an uncertain degree.
bathos: triteness or triviality in style.
fathom: to penetrate to the truth of.
Occidental: Western.
noctivagant: pertaining to wandering at night.
ruth: pity or compassion.
kowtow: to act in a subservient manner.
kibitz: to chat, to converse.
eidetic: pertaining to visual imagery vividly experienced and readily reproducible.
majuscule: of letters written either as capitals or uncials.
tipple: to drink intoxicating liquor, esp. habitually or to some excess.
habitué: one who frequents a particular place.
plucky: having or showing courage.
baksheesh: a tip, present, or gratuity.
suspire: to utter with long, sighing breaths.
phlegmatic: not easily excited to action or display of emotion.
adumbrate: to foreshadow; prefigure.
shivaree: a mock serenade with kettles and other noisemakers for a newly married couple.
regnant: prevalent; widespread.
waxing: to increase in extent, quantity, intensity, or power.
ethereal: light, airy, or tenuous.
epoch: the beginning of a distinctive period in history.
scuttle: to run with quick, hasty steps; scurry.
threnody: a poem, speech, or song of lamentation, esp. for the dead.
from http://dictionary.reference.com/wordoftheday/
~~~~~
"I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve (or save) the world and a desire to enjoy (or savor) the world. This makes it hard to plan the day." - E. B. White

"A man is rich in proportion to the number of things he can afford to let alone." - Henry David Thoreau

"The ear of the leader must ring with the voices of the people." - Woodrow Wilson

"You must do the thing you think you cannot do." - Eleanor Roosevelt

"He who refuses to embrace a unique opportunity loses the prize as surely as if he had tried and failed." - William James

"Nothing is exactly as it seems, nor is it otherwise." - Alan Watts

"A desk is a dangerous place from which to view the world." - John le Carre

"The trouble with life isn't that there is no answer, it's that there are so many answers." - Ruth Benedict

"My own view about bringing up kids is praise, praise and praise again."- Sir Richard Branson

"A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul." - George Bernard Shaw

"The Interstate highway system has made it possible to go from sea to shining sea without seeing anything."- Charles Kuralt

"A successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him or her." - David Brinkley

"Americans have sought the value of everything in this world only in the answer to this single question: how much money will it bring in?" - Alexis de Tocqueville

"You better live your best and act your best and think your best today, for today is the sure preparation for tomorrow and all the other tomorrows that follow." - Harriet Martineau

"History suggests that capitalism is a necessary condition for political freedom. Clearly, it is not a sufficient condition." - Milton Friedman

"Pride, like humility, is destroyed by one's insistence that he possesses it." - Kenneth Bancroft Clark

"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. Security does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than exposure."- Helen Keller

"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it."- Aristotle

"All good books have one thing in common - they are truer than if they had really happened." - Ernest Hemingway

"Not to invent yourself is to be false. To follow preordained rules is a profound betrayal of what it means to be human." - David Starkey

"Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil." - Jerry Garcia

"If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things." - Albert Einstein

"I wanted to change the world. But I have found that the only thing one can be sure of changing is oneself."-Aldous Huxley

"Everything has been said before, but since nobody listens we have to keep going back and beginning all over again."- Andre Gide

"There is an applause superior to that of the multitudes: one's own."- Elizabeth Elton Smith

"Common sense is not so common."- Voltaire

"If all economists were laid end to end, they would not reach a conclusion."- George Bernard Shaw

"Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom." - Marcel Proust

"A man who dares to waste one hour of time has not discovered the value of life."- Charles Darwin

"Nothing is more conducive to peace of mind than not having any opinions at all."- Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

"To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it." - Confucius

"The growth and development of people is the highest calling of leadership." - Harvey S. Firestone

"Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism." - Carl Jung

"And I'm proud to be an American, where at least I know I'm free. And I won't forget the men who died, who gave that right to me." - Lee Greenwood

"A hero is someone who has given his or her life to something bigger than oneself." - Joseph Campbell
~~~~~
BREAKING CHRISTIAN NEWS
http://breakingchristiannews.com/

More Kudos for Vitamin D - - Aimee Herd (May 10, 2010)
Study finds Vitamin D supplements may cut risk of breast cancer. ...Read Full Story [http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=7842]
~
Jason Castro, Alive and Well and Loving Jesus - - Teresa Neumann (May 10, 2010) - -
Though he's excited about the release of his first CD, he says, "I want to be a loving father, a faithful husband, and a servant to all." ...Read Full Story [http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=7838]
~
Mrs. V's "Lifeline" of Letters to Troops - - Aimee Herd (May 18, 2010)
"Her contributions have made a difference in people's lives."...Read Full Story [http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=7865]
~
Sucked Up Into a Tornado, Trucker Lives to Tell about It - - Teresa Neumann (May 18, 2010)
"About that time I just felt it (his truck) lift up. I knew it was going over. I started talking to Jesus pretty serious."...Read Full Story [http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=7864]
~
ALERT: Gov. Crist Still Leaning Toward Veto of Ultrasound Bill - - "It will take a miracle to change his mind" - - (Tallahassee, FL)—Florida's HB 1143, if passed, would expand the existing law to assure that abortion-minded women (in the second or third trimester only) would have not just the opportunity to see their baby on an ultrasound, but also have the description explained to them by the doctor. However, they would STILL have the option not to see the ultrasound.

The bill would also formally ban public funding of abortions in the state.

According to LifeNews.com, Gov. Crist has already hinted he will veto the legislation, which also allows Florida to opt out of some of the abortion funding under the new national health care law President Barack Obama signed.

For more information click below:

http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=7948

310 2nd Ave SE
Albany, Oregon 97321
541_928_2642
E-mail editor@breakingchristiannews.com
US Orders: 1_866_358_7426
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
GCF: Speeding Ticket

Emailed to me from another humor list (Clean Laffs) -Tom Subscribe to Clean Laffs at the website: http://www.gophercentral.com/

If this was forwarded to you, please consider your own subscription to Good Clean Fun. It's free! Just send an email to: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
-------------------------------------------

Rushing to work, I was driving too fast and as a result was pulled over by the highway patrol. The state trooper noticed that my shirt had the name of a local high school on it. "I teach math there," I explained.

The trooper smiled, and said, "Okay, here's a problem. A teacher is speeding down the highway at 16 m.p.h. over the limit. At $12 for every mile, plus $40 court costs, plus the rise in her insurance, what's her total cost?"

I replied, "Taking that total, subtracting the low salary I receive, multiplying by the number of kids who hate math, then adding to that the fact that none of us would be any- where without teachers, I'd say zero."

He handed me back my license. "Math was never my favorite subject," he admitted. "Please slow down."
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me from another humor list (Clean Laffs) -Tom Subscribe to Clean Laffs at the website: http://www.gophercentral.com/
-------------------------------------------

GCF: Living in the Country

Everything about living in the country delighted my neighbors, who had moved to our small town from the city. One day they spotted a sign, "Fresh Eggs For Sale" at a roadside stand where payment was on the honor system.

"Why can't everyone be this trusting?" they said as they put their money into the box and took a carton. When they got home and opened it, they found 11 eggs.
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me another humor list (Clean Joke of the Day) -Tom Subscribe to Clean Joke of the Day by visiting the website: http://www.cleanjokeoftheday.com
-------------------------------------------

GCF: Rookie Pitcher

A rookie pitcher was struggling at the mound, so the catcher walked out to have a talk with him.

"I've figured out your problem," he told the young southpaw. "You always seem to lose control at the same point in every game."

"When is that?" asked the rookie.

"Right after the National Anthem."
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, Kelly) -Tom
-------------------------------------------

GCF: But Daddy.....

My husband and I took our two-year-old daughter to the home-improvement store. Madison got tired of walking, so my husband let her ride on his shoulders. As he walked, Madison began pulling his hair. Although he asked her to stop several times, she kept on. Getting annoyed, he scolded, "Madison! Stop that!"

"But, Daddy," she replied, "I'm just trying to get my gum back."
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me from another humor list (Clean Laffs) -Tom Subscribe to Clean Laffs at the website: http://www.gophercentral.com/
-------------------------------------------

GCF: Clunker

As the owner of an old clunker, I was used to dealing with a variety of car breakdowns. One day at the supermarket, just after I had filled my trunk with groceries, I noticed a stream of fluid leaking out of the bottom of the car. I knew I had to get home before the car was once again out of action.

When I arrived I asked my husband to take a look at the problem. Expecting the worst, I braced myself for his diagnosis.

When he came back in, he was smiling. "It's apple juice," he said.
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me from another humor list (Clean Laffs) -Tom Subscribe to Clean Laffs at the website: http://www.gophercentral.com/
-------------------------------------------

GCF: Call to the Governor

A lawyer phoned the governor's mansion shortly after midnight. "I need to talk to the governor, it's an emergency!" exclaimed the lawyer.

After some cajoling, the governor's assistant agreed to wake him up. "So, what is it that's so important that it can't wait until morning?" grumbled the governor.

"Judge Pierson just died, and I want to take his place," begged the attorney.

"Well, it's OK with me if it's OK with the funeral home," replied the governor.
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me from another humor list (A Joke A Day) -Tom Subscription info is at the website http://www.ajokeaday.com/
-------------------------------------------

GCF: Jury Trial?

A defendant was asked if he wanted a bench trial or a jury trial.

"Jury trial," the defendant replied.

"Do you understand the difference?" asked the judge.

"Sure," replied the defendant. "That's where twelve ignorant people decide my fate instead of one."
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me another humor list (Good Clean Funnies List) -Tom To subscribe The Good Clean Funnies List, (not to be confused with this list, which is Good Clean Fun) send an email to: gcfl-request@gcfl.net with subject = add
-------------------------------------------

GCF: Maritime Museum

Some midshipmen were tasked at the maritime museum to do the "dirty work" of restoring a 60-year-old destroyer. One day the Navy sent a crew of 20 men, while the Marines sent a crew of three.

The curator teased one of the Navy midshipman, saying, "You mean it takes twenty Navy guys to do the work of only three Marines?"

"Sir, no sir," he snapped back. "The truth is, sir, it takes six or seven of us to supervise each one of those Marines!"
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me from another humor list (Clean Laffs) -Tom Subscribe to Clean Laffs at the website: http://www.gophercentral.com/
-------------------------------------------

GCF: Transplant

My husband, who is an auto mechanic, was on the kidney- transplant list.

As you can imagine, it was a tense time for our family.

But one day, the phone rang and our teenage son answered. It was the hospital with good news. "Dad!" he yelled excitedly, "Your parts are in!"
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me from another humor list (Clean Laffs) -Tom Subscribe to Clean Laffs at the website: http://www.gophercentral.com/
-------------------------------------------

GCF: In the Personals

Seen in the Southern Illinois University student newspaper:

"Sweet, little old lady wishes to correspond with S.I.U. undergraduate. Prefers six-foot male with brown eyes answering to initials J.D.B.

Signed, "His Mother."
_ ____________________________ _

Emailed to me another humor list (Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh List) -Tom Subscribe to Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh list at the website: Subscribe
-------------------------------------------

GCF: Curfew

This young man was elated when he turned eighteen in a state where curfew is 11:00 p.m. for anyone seventeen years of age and under.

He told his Dad how happy he was that now he could stay out until 3:00 a.m. if he wanted.

"Yes you can stay out as late as you want, but the car is under eighteen and it has to be in the garage by eleven," his father said.
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me from another humor list (Daily Humor) -Tom To subscribe to Daily Humor, send a blank email to: Daily-Humor-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
-------------------------------------------

GCF: Wedding Invitation

A real wedding invitation:

Phil, Richard, Karen and Allison, and John, Matt and Steve request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their Mother and Father.

Because they are combining two households, they already have at least two of everything. So please, no presents!

Reception and garage sale immediately following the ceremony.
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Business Answering Machine

In a small business office they have an answering machine that instructs callers to leave their name and address, and to spell any difficult words.

Early one Monday the secretary was reviewing the weekend messages and she heard an enthusiastic young woman recite her name and address and then confidently offer:

"My difficult word is reconciliation. R-E-C-O-N-C-I-L-I-A-T-I-O-N."
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me from another humor list (Daily Humor) -Tom To subscribe to Daily Humor, send a blank email to: Daily-Humor-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
-------------------------------------------

GCF: New Glasses

When I took my 5-year-old to the optometrist to pick up his new glasses, he asked why he had to wear them. The doctor replied, "They're to help you read and be able to see the computer better."

When we got back home, my son sat down at the computer. In a few minutes he called me over and said, "There's something wrong with my glasses."

"What's the problem?"

"I can see the computer better, but I still can't read."
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Fastidious Housekeeper?

My mom admitted to being a less than fastidious housekeeper.

One evening my dad returned home from work, walked into the kitchen and said, "You know, dear, I can write my name in the dust on the mantel."

Mom turned to him and sweetly replied, "Well, darling, that's why I married a college graduate."
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Barbecue Smoke

FEDS PLAN CRACK-DOWN ON SECOND-HAND BARBECUE SMOKE

Summer evenings may no longer be filled with the smell of barbecued steaks, marinated chicken breasts, hamburgers and or hot dogs. The President, concerned about the health risk of second-hand barbecue smoke, is planning to sign an executive order that would ban the sale of barbecues, charcoal and charcoal lighter as well as impose stiff penalties on people who are caught engaging in this favorite summer past-time.

The White House Press Secretary said, "The smoke from just one barbecue is equal to at least 1000 packs of cigarettes and poses a significant health threat to the American public. The President has decided to do the right thing and ban these silent killers."

Members of the President's own party are not pleased by this announcement. The Senate Majority Leader said, "Rather than ban barbecues, we should heavily tax and regulate the barbecue industry. The President is missing out on a golden opportunity to bring new revenue into Washington."

BNN Disclaimer: This story is totally false; not one shred of it is true! It was created for entertainment purposes ONLY. Any resemblance to the truth is purely coincidental.
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me from another humor list (Clean Laffs) -Tom Subscribe to Clean Laffs at the website: http://www.gophercentral.com/
-------------------------------------------

GCF: At the Supermarket

At the supermarket, I noticed a woman with four boys and a baby. Her patience was wearing thin as the boys called out, "Mommy! Mommy!" while she tried to shop.

Finally, she blurted out, "I don't want to hear the word mommy for at least ten minutes!"

The boys fell silent for a few seconds. Then one tugged on his mother's dress and said softly, "Excuse me, miss."
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, Howard) -Tom
-------------------------------------------

GCF: Favorite Animal

Our teacher asked us what our favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken." She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right because everyone else in the class laughed.

My parents told me to always be truthful and honest, and I am. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He said they love animals very much. I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef.

Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office. I told him what happened, and he laughed too. Then he told me not to do it again.

The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was. I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, just like she'd asked the other children. So I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken. She sent me back to the principal's office again. He laughed, and told me not to do it anymore.

I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am. Today, my teacher asked us to tell her what famous person we admire most.

I told her, "Colonel Sanders".

Guess where I am now.......
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me from another humor list (Clean Laffs) -Tom Subscribe to Clean Laffs at the website: http://www.gophercentral.com/
-------------------------------------------

GCF: At the Race Track

A stock analyst and a Wall Street broker went to the race- track. The broker suggested betting $12,000 on a certain horse. The analyst was skeptical; he had never been to the races before and wanted to understand the rules and look over all the horses before placing a wager.

"You're too cautious and detail-oriented," the broker criticized as he placed his large bet. His horse won and he raked in a bundle of money.

"What's your secret?" the analyst asked.

"It's simple," the broker explained. "I have two kids ... ages two and six ... so I add their ages together and bet on number nine."

"But two and six equals eight, not nine!" protested the analyst.

"See!" the broker replied, "I told you you're too cautious and detail-oriented."
_ ____________________________ _
Found posted in a humor news group (rec.humor.funny.reruns) -Tom
-------------------------------------------

GCF: Subliminal Ads

I would like to thank all of the folks who emailed me about the "subliminal" Pepsi ads in 'Top Gun'. As was pointed out more than once, here and in mail, the advertisements aren't really subliminal if you can perceive them consciously. [drink Pepsi] I know what "subliminal" means [drink Pepsi] as opposed to superliminal, or ultraliminal, or megaliminal, or liminal, or whatever the correct phraseology is. [you love Pepsi] This kind of advertisement, though, while not totally invisible [drink Pepsi] is still real hard to see ... I've seen Top Gun a total of six times now, and never noticed the Pepsi tray until my sixth time, on cable. After running the tape back thru again, I could tell that the Pepsi [drink drink drink Pepsi] logo was really there -- not just a red-white-and-blue [Pepsi] smear.

Perhaps we need a new phrase for this half-overt advertising [bathe in Pepsi]. I propose the term "mood-advertising," or perhaps "musak-vertising" ... something which while there, you have to concentrate to perceive [Pepsi is good for you]. Once we put a name to this dread disease, we can set about finding a cure.

Gosh, I'm thirsty.
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me from another humor list (Clean Laffs) -Tom
Subscribe to Clean Laffs at the website:
http://www.gophercentral.com/
-------------------------------------------

GCF: Prospective Juror

A prospective juror in a Dallas District Court was surprised by the definition of voluntary manslaughter given to the panel: "An intentional killing that occurs while the defendant is under the immediate influence of sudden passion arising from an adequate cause, such as when a spouse's mate is found in a 'compromising position.'"

"See, I have a problem with that 'passion business,'" responded the jury candidate. "During my first marriage, I came in and found my husband involved with my neighbor. All I did was divorce him. I had no idea that I could have shot him."

She wasn't selected for the jury.
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, Becky) -Tom
-------------------------------------------

GCF: The Sermon

They say that a preacher's wife is always his number one assistant. An example of this comes one Sunday morning after the preacher had just finished his sermon. He went and sat down with his wife and she asked him how he thought the church service went.

The Preacher shrugged and said, "The worship was excellent, and I think the prayer and communion times went quite well, but," he continued, "I just don't think the sermon ever got off the ground."

The wife looked over at him, and before she could stop herself, she said, "Well, it sure did taxi long enough!"
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me from another humor list (A Joke A Day) -Tom
Subscription info is at the website http://www.ajokeaday.com/
-------------------------------------------

GCF: Ketchup Bottle

Sally was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the bottle. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 5-year-old daughter to answer the phone.

"Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle."
_ ____________________________ _
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Predestination was doomed \ /
\ _/ from the start. \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Drive carefully, \ /
\ _/ we need every taxpayer we can get.\_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / No one ever says \ /
\ _/ "It's only a game" \_ /
/ / when their team is winning. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / There are only two things a \ \_/ ////
\ / child will share willingly: \ /
\ _/ communicable diseases \_ /
/ / and his mother's age. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / For every action, there is \ /
\ _/ an equal and opposite criticism. \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / In just two days, \ /
\ _/ tomorrow will be yesterday. \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / An unbreakable toy \ /
\ _/ is useful for breaking other toys.\_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / Sign on high school \ \_/ ////
\ / bulletin board - "Free: every \ /
\ _/ Monday through Friday. Knowledge. \_ /
/ / Bring your own container." \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / How many roads must a \ /
\ _/ man travel down before \_ /
/ / he admits he is lost? \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Love is blind. \ /
\ _/ Marriage is the eye-opener. \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / You are making progress \ /
\ _/ if each mistake is a new one. \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / \ /
\ _/ Recursive, adj.; see Recursive \_ /
/ / \ \

(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / The moon may be \ /
\ _/ smaller than the Earth, \_ /
/ / but it's further away. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\ _/ \_ /
/ / Never miss a good chance to shut up. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Accept it: \ /
\ _/ some days you're the pigeon, \_ /
/ / and some days you're the statue. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Do illiterate people \ /
\ _/ get the full effect \_ /
/ / of alphabet soup? \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ /I asked my wife if she will love \ /
\ _/ me when I am old and gray and \_ /
/ / flabby. She replied, "Yes, I do." \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / If you find yourself in a hole, \ /
\ _/ the first thing to do \_ /
/ / is stop diggin'. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Born free, taxed to death. \ /
\ _/ \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / I have kleptomania, \ /
\ _/ but when it gets bad, \_ /
/ / I take something for it. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Bills travel through the mail \ /
\ _/ at twice the speed of checks. \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / If you think you're a \ /
\ _/ person of influence, try \_ /
/ / ordering somebody else's dog around. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Everyone has a right \ /
\ _/ to be stupid. \_ /
/ / Some just abuse the privilege. \ \
_ ____________________________ _
/ )| Thomas S. Ellsworth |( \
/ / | tellswor@kcbx.net | \ \
_( (_ | http://www.kcbx.net/~tellswor | _) )_
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_| ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Why do we love children?

1) NUDITY
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, 'Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!'

2) OPINIONS
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, 'The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents.'

3) KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. 'Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle.'

4) MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, 'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?'

5) POLICE # 1
While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, 'Are you a cop? Yes,' I answered and continued writing the report. My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?' 'Yes, that's right,' I told her.. 'Well, then,' she said as she extended her foot toward me, 'would you please tie my shoe?'

6) POLICE # 2
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. 'Is that a dog you got back there?' he asked. 'It sure is,' I replied.
Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, 'What'd he do?'

7) ELDERLY
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, 'The tooth fairy will never believe this!'

8) DRESS-UP
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit.' 'And why not, darling?'
'You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.'

9) DEATH
While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: 'Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he goooes.' (I want this line used at my funeral!)

10) SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. 'I'm just wasting my time,' she said to her mother. 'I can't read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk!'

11) BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.'Mama, look what I found,' the boy called out. 'What have you got there, dear?' With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, 'I think it's Adam's underwear!'

Thanks to Waneta
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I went fishing this morning but after a short time I ran out of worms. Then I saw a cottonmouth with a frog in his mouth. (For y'all, Northerners and City Folk, a "cottonmouth" is a water moccasin one of the 4 poisonous snakes in North America, and generally the meanest, being more aggressive than rattlesnakes.)

Frogs are good bass bait. Knowing the snake couldn't bite me with the frog in his mouth I grabbed him right behind the head, took the frog and put it in my bait bucket.

Now the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bit. So, I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniels and poured a little whiskey in its mouth. His eyes rolled back, he went limp.

I released him into the lake without incident and carried on fishing using the frog. A little later, I felt a nudge on my foot. There was that same snake with two frogs in his mouth.

Life is good in the South.

Thanks to Waneta
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Thoughts by 'Papa Duck'

How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America?

I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!

When I was young we used to go 'skinny dipping,' now I just 'chunky dunk.'

Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.
Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over? AMEN, AMEN !!

A completely brilliant question!!!!!!! Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?

Wouldn't you know it.... Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.

Another completely brilliant question!!!! Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?

And remember: life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

Thanks to Waneta
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One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'
'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'
He yelled back, ' GO GATORS! '
And they say blondes are dumb....
--------- --------- --------- --------- -------
'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower..
'Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'

'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.
----------- --------- --------- --------- ----
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
------------ --------- --------- --------- ----
Dear Lord,

I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; and Patience for his moods.

Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,

I'll beat him to death.

AMEN
--------- --------- -------
Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
---- --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy. .
---------- --------- --------- --------- ------

Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
---------- --------- --------- --------- ---
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the email folder 'Instruction Manuals'

Thanks to Waneta
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Golfing

Harry teed up, addressed his golf ball, and took a magnificent swing, but something went wrong and he hit a wicked slice. The ball left the fairway he was playing, and it went onto the adjoining one where it hit a man full in the face.

He dropped like a rock!

Rushing over to the man, Harry and his partner found him unconscious and with the ball lying between his feet.

"Oh no!" exclaimed Harry. "What should we do?"

"I'm not sure," said his partner. "But don't move him! If we just leave him here, he's an immovable obstruction and you can either play the ball from where it lies or drop it two club lengths away without penalty."

Received from Clean Laffs.

(_:][:_)

Haircut

Ray made his second trip to Fred's Barber Shop. Fred the Barber said, "How may I help you today?"

Ray replied, "I want you to cut one inch off of the left side, nothing off of the right side, shave just the middle part of the top of my head, and a slanted cut from left to right on in the back."

Fred the Barber laughed and said, "Yeah, right...I'll do THAT one for free!"

Ray said, "Well...that's what you did last time and you charged me for it!"

Received from Gary Ward.

(_:][:_)

Benny and the Genie

Benny worked at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. His primary job was to keep the exhibits clean and polished. One day he happened to be dusting around the Arabian exhibit, and he noticed an ancient urn that needed some cleaning. He got out his dust rag and began polishing. Lo and behold, an enormous genie appeared before him.

"Master," the genie began, "I am the genie of the urn. I can grant you three wishes, but there is one condition I will put on you: You must never shave or cut your beard for the rest of your life, or you will be forced to take my place inside the urn forever."

Benny thought about it for a bit, and decided it was a fair condition for three wishes. So Benny wished for 49 percent of the total Microsoft stock, which was promptly granted. Then he wished for the most beautiful woman in the world as his wife, and lo and behold, she was. Finally, he wished for fame and fortune, and he instantly became a worldwide celebrity.

Over the years, Benny's beard became longer and longer until it almost reached the floor. As it grew longer, it began to itch. He tried to ignore it, but the itch became more and more irritating, while the memory of the genie's warning faded.

Finally he decided he had to get rid of the beard and he shaved it off. Instantly he was trapped in the urn, to stay there forever.

The moral of the story: A Benny shaved is a Benny urned.

Received from ArcaMax Jokes.

(_:][:_)

Hit-and-Run

The hit-and-run victim was just getting to his feet when a policeman ran up to help.

"My mother-in-law just tried to run me over!" the shaken man told the cop.

"The car hit you from behind," the officer said. "How could you tell it was your mother-in-law?"

"I recognized the laugh!"

Received from Keith Sullivan.

(_:][:_)

Gripe Sheet

Remember, it takes a college degree to fly a plane for a major airline, but only a high school diploma to fix one.

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "Gripe Sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.

The mechanics correct the problems and document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the Gripe Sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

(_:][:_)

The Drunk

A drunk had been at a pub all night. At last call, he stood up to leave and fell flat on his face. He tried to stand one more time, to the same result.

He figured he'd crawl outside to get some fresh air, since maybe that would sober him up. Once outside, he stood up and fell flat on his face. So he decided to crawl the four blocks to his house.

When he arrived at the door, he stood up and again fell flat on his face.

He crawled through the door and into his bedroom. When he reached his bed, he tried one more time to stand up.

This time he managed to pull himself upright, but he quickly fell right into bed and was sound asleep the second his head hit the pillow.

He was awakened the next morning by his wife shouting, "So you've been out drinking again, have you?!"

"No! What makes you say that?" he asked, putting on his best innocent expression.

"The pub called... you forgot your wheelchair again."

Received from Mikala.

(_:][:_)

The Blind Man

A blind man and his seeing eye dog walk into a store. When he gets in, he starts swinging his dog around. Upset by this, the manager of the store demands to know what he is doing.

The blind man calmly replies, "I'm just lookin' around."

Received from Mikala.

(_:][:_)

From the Heart

The following letter was forwarded by someone who teaches at a junior high school in Memphis, Tennessee; the letter was sent to the principal's office after the school had sponsored a luncheon for the elderly. This story is a credit to all humankind. Read it, soak it in, and bask in the warm feeling that it leaves you with.

Dear Reyer School:

God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent senior citizen's luncheon. I am 84 years old and live at the county home for the aged. All my people are gone. It's nice to know that someone thinks of me. God bless you for your kindness to an old forgotten lady.

My roommate is 95 and always had her own radio, but would never let me listen to it, no matter how often or politely I asked. The other day her radio fell and broke into a lot of pieces. It was awful. She was very upset. She then asked if she could listen to mine, and I told her to buzz off.

Sincerely,

Edna Johnston

Received from ArcaMax Jokes.

(_:][:_)

New Number

We telemarketers know we're universally loathed. Still, some people are quite pleasant on the phone.

One day I called a number and asked to speak with Mr. Morgan. The woman who answered explained that he no longer lived at that address, but she did have a number where he could be reached.

I thanked her, rang that number, and was greeted with, "Good morning, Highland View Cemetery."

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

(_:][:_)

Round n' Round

While practicing auto-rotations during a military night training exercise, a Huey Cobra messed up and landed on its tail rotor so hard that it broke off the tail boom. Fortunately, however, the chopper remained upright on its skids, as it slid down the runway, turning in circles.

As the Cobra slid past the tower, trailing a brilliant shower of sparks, this was the radio exchange that took place...

Tower: "Sir, do you need any assistance?"

Cobra: "I don't know, Tower. We ain't done crashin' yet!"

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

(_:][:_)

Metal Detector

In January 1991, I was being deployed to Operation Desert Storm. Before boarding the C-141 transport at Shaw Air Force Base in South Carolina, I had to go through tight security.

After a meticulous x-ray examination of my carry-on bag, I removed all metal objects from my uniform and was finally able to pass through the detector without setting off the alarm.

"Just out of curiosity," I asked the airman operating the checkpoint, "why did you make me go through all that?"

"We want to be sure you aren't carrying any weapons on board," he said, handing me back my M-16 rifle.

- from Reader's Digest, "Humor In Uniform," by Stephen Shoemaker

Received from Doc's Daily Chuckle.

(_:][:_)

Morning Run

The drill sergeant, making his morning announcements to a group of newcomers in a training camp, stated: "Today, gentlemen, I have some good news and some bad news. First, the good. Private Johnson will be setting the pace on our morning run."

With this the platoon was overjoyed, as Private Johnson was overweight and terribly slow. But then the drill sergeant finished his statement: "Now for the bad news. Private Johnson will be driving a truck."

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

(_:][:_)

Prescription Check

An old man strode in to his doctor's office and said, "Doc, my druggist said to tell you to change my prescription and to check the prescription you've been giving to Mrs. Smith."

"Oh, he did, did he?" the doctor shot back. "And since when does a druggist second guess a doctor's orders?"

The old man said, "Since he found out I've been on birth control pills since February."

Received from Doc's Daily Chuckle.

(_:][:_)

Shhh.....

While my son was on the Navy carrier USS George Washington, the air wing was busy with training missions. After talking to a pilot, one air-traffic controller accidentally left his microphone on and remarked to a nearby buddy, "That guy sounded just like Elmer Fudd."

The airwaves got strangely quiet as everyone listened, realizing that the pilot had also heard the comment. After about ten seconds, the pilot broke the silence by
announcing:

"Be vewy, vewy quiet. We aw hunting submawines."

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

(_:][:_)

Nine Out of Ten

I was meeting a friend in a bar and as I went in, I noticed two pretty girls looking at me.

"Nine," I heard one whisper as I passed.

Feeling pleased with myself, I swaggered over to my buddy and told him a girl had just rated me a nine out of ten.

"I don't want to ruin it for you," he said, "but when I walked in, they were speaking German."

Received from Ed.

(_:][:_)

Political Corruption

At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. "Isn't it true," he bellowed, "that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?"

The witness stared out the window as though he hadn't hear the question.

"Isn't it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?" the lawyer repeated.

The witness still did not respond.

Finally, the judge leaned over and said, "Sir, please answer the question."

"Oh," the startled witness said, "I thought he was talking to you."

Received from ArcaMax Jokes.

(_:][:_)

Mailing a Bible

There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible to her brother in another part of the country.

"Is there anything breakable in here?" asked the postal clerk.

"Only the Ten Commandments," answered the lady.

Received from Larry.

(_:][:_)

Interesting Facts

1. Debra Winger was the voice of E.T.

2. Pearls melt in vinegar.

3. The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca-Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.

4. It's possible to lead a cow upstairs, but not downstairs.

5. Humans are the only primates that don't have pigment in the palms of their hands.

6. Ten percent of the Russian government's income comes from the sale of vodka.

7. The sentence "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter in the alphabet. (Developed by Western Union to test telex/two communications.)

8. The only 15-letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is "uncopyrightable."

9. "Stewardesses" is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand.

10. No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.

11. A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.

12. The reason firehouses have circular stairways is from the days of yore when the engines were pulled by horses. The horses were stabled on the ground floor and figured out how to walk up straight staircases.

13. The airplane Buddy Holly died in was the "American Pie" (thus the name of the Don McLean song).

14. 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

15. Clans of long ago that wanted to get rid of their unwanted people without killing them used to burn their houses down - hence the expression "to get fired."

16. Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, 1776: John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until five years later.

17. An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

18. The longest recorded flight of a chicken is thirteen seconds.

19. The name "Jeep" came from the abbreviation used in the army for the "General Purpose" vehicle, G.P.

20. The highest point in Pennsylvania is lower than the lowest point in Colorado.

21. Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously.

22. If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies, you have $1.19. You also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.

23. All of the clocks in the movie "Pulp Fiction" are stuck on 4:20.

24. The only two days of the year in which there are no professional sports games (MLB, NBA, NHL, or NFL) are the day before and the day after the Major League All-Star Game.

25. Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.

26. The mask used by Michael Myers in the original "Halloween" was actually a Captain Kirk mask painted white.

27. If you put a raisin in a glass of champagne, it will keep floating to the top and sinking to the bottom.

28. Snails can sleep for three years without eating.

29. Actor Tommy Lee Jones and Vice President Al Gore were freshman roommates at Harvard.

30. The fingerprints of koala bears are virtually indistinguishable from those of humans, so much so that they could be confused at a crime scene.

31. Any month that begins on a Sunday will always have a Friday the 13th.

32. James Doohan, who played Lt. Commander Montgomery Scott on Star Trek, was missing the entire middle finger of his right hand.

33. The Eisenhower interstate system requires that one mile in every five must be straight. These straight sections are usable as airstrips in times of war or other emergencies.

34. There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.

Received from Trey Nolen.

(_:][:_)

How Not to Rob a Bank

The following is an excerpt from Tim Clark's "How Not to Rob a Bank." Here are some easy lessons gleaned from the experiences of a number of would-be robbers.

PICK THE RIGHT BANK

You don't want to make the same mistake as the fellow in Anaheim, CA, who tried to hold up a bank that was no longer in business and had no money.

STUDY YOUR HISTORY

Don't try to stick up the First National Bank of Northfield, Minnesota. Jesse James tried it 111 years ago, and the townsfolk took just seven minutes to kill two and capture three of his gang. Nobody tried again until 1984, and the customers chased the guy down. They're tight with their dollar, those Minnesotans.

SPEAK TO THE RIGHT TELLER

One robber in Upland, CA, presented his note to the teller, and her father, who was in the next line, got all bent out of shape about it. He wrestled the guy to the ground and sat on him until authorities arrived.

DON'T SIGN YOUR DEMAND NOTE

Demand notes have been written on the back of a subpoena issued in the name of a bank robber in Pittsburgh... on an envelope bearing the name and address of another in Detroit....and in East Hartford, Connecticut, on the back of a withdrawal slip giving the robber's signature and account number.

GO EASY ON THE DISGUISE

One robber, dressed up as a woman with very heavy make-up, ran face first into a glass door. He was the first criminal ever to be positively identified by lip-print.

TAKE RIGHT TURNS ONLY

Avoid the sad fate of the thieves in Florida who took a wrong turn into the Homestead Air Force Base, drove up to a military police guardhouse and, thinking it was a toll-booth, offered the security men money.

BE AWARE OF THE TIME

Or the chagrin of the bank robber in Cheshire, Massachusetts, who hit the bank at 4:30 PM, then tried to escape through downtown North Adams, where he was trapped in rush hour traffic until police arrived.

CONSIDER ANOTHER LINE OF WORK

Bank robbery is not for everyone. One nervous Newport, RI, robber, while trying to stuff his ill-gotten gains into his shirt pocket, shot himself in the head and died instantly.

BE STRONG

Then there was the case of the hopeful criminal in Swansea, Massachusetts, who, when the teller told him she had no money, fainted. He was still unconscious when the police arrived. His getaway car, parked nearby, had the keys locked inside it.

Received from Timothy Anger.

(_:][:_)

Jesus vs. Satan

Jesus and Satan were having an argument about who was better on the computer. They had been going at it for days, and frankly God was tired of hearing all the bickering.

Finally fed up, God said, "THAT'S IT! I have had enough. I am going to set up a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I will judge who does the better job."

Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away.

They moused.

They faxed.

They e-mailed.

They e-mailed with attachments.

They downloaded.

They did spreadsheets.

They wrote reports.

They created labels and cards.

They created charts and graphs.

They did some genealogy reports.

They did every job known to man.

Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency, and Satan was very fast.

Then, 10 minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course, the power went off.

Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld.

Jesus just sighed.

Finally the electricity came back on, and they both restarted their computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming: "It's gone! It's all GONE! I lost everything when the power went out!"

Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours of work.

Satan observed this and became irate. "Wait!" he screamed. "That's not fair! He cheated! How come he has all his work and I don't have any?"

God just shrugged and said, "Jesus saves."

From the "Bulletin Board" column in the St Paul (MN) Pioneer Press, 8/3/2009

Received from Jennie Orr Thomas.

(_:][:_)

Juan the Smuggler

Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He has two large bags over his shoulders. A guard stops him and says, "What's in the bags?"

"Sand," answered Juan.

The guard says, "We'll just see about that. Get off the bike."

The guard takes the bags and rips them apart; he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand. He detains Juan overnight and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags. The guard releases Juan, puts the sand into new bags, lifts them onto the man's shoulders, and lets him cross the border.

A week later, the same thing happens. The guard asks, "What have you got?"

"Sand," says Juan.

The guard does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to Juan, and Juan crosses the border on his bicycle.

This sequence of events repeats every day for three years. Then one day, Juan doesn't show up. The guard meets up with him in a cantina in Mexico.

"Hey, buddy," the guard says, "I know you're smuggling something. It's driving me crazy. It's all I think about. I can't sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?"

"Bicycles," Juan says.

Received from You Make Me Laugh.

(_:][:_)

Honest Abe

It's said that Abraham Lincoln once sized up the case of a prospective client as follows:

"You have a good case, technically, but in terms of justice and equity, it's got problems. So you'll have to look for another lawyer to handle the case, because the whole time I'd be up there talking to the jury, I'd be thinking, 'Lincoln, you're a liar!' and I might just forget myself and say it out loud."

Received from Andychap.

(_:][:_)

Honda Motorcycle

A biker is riding a new motorcycle on the highway. While passing a car, he knocks on the window. The driver of the car opens the window, "Yes?"

"Ever driven a Honda motorcycle?"

"No, I haven't."

The biker drives on until he sees another car. While passing it, he knocks on the window. The driver of the car opens the window: "Yes?"

"Ever driven a Honda motorcycle?"

"No, I haven't."

Then suddenly there is a curve, and the biker sees it too late. He crashes off the road into a ditch. A car stops and a man runs to the unlucky biker. Covered in blood, the biker asks, "Ever driven a Honda motorcycle?"

"Yes, I have. I had a Honda for 20 years."

The biker says, "Tell me, where are the brakes?"

Received from William Brabant.

(_:][:_)

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Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Column - - http://www.madkane.com/madness/2010/04/05/census-boycott-humor/ - - Senseless About The Census

Attention unhinged wingnuts: Obama’s Census illegally invades your privacy!

That’s a paranoid lie of course, but one that was started by Michele Bachmann and her cohorts. Ironically, it’s been reducing U.S. Census compliance to the detriment of the very people who are bitching about it. Here’s Philly Inq’s Dick Polman:

In the kingdom of ignorance, this story reigns:

Anti-government conservatives - apparently clueless about the history of the country they want to “take back,” and willfully believing the Pinocchio whoppers circulated via spam mail, talk radio, and YouTube - are currently engaged in a fascinating form of protest. Millions are refusing to fill out their 2010 Census forms.

***
The trend is so alarming that one Republican congressman, Patrick McHenry of North Carolina, felt compelled yesterday to plead with his right-wing brethren to fill out the forms; as he wrote on redstate.com, the popular conservative site, “If we do not respond, we will not be counted, and if we are not counted, then we effectively will not exist.”

Most notably, he urged his readers not to believe “the blatant misinformation” that has been circulated by “otherwise well-meaning conservatives.” Which was a polite way of saying, “Don’t listen to the liars.”

That brings me to my latest limerick:

Senseless About The Census
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Crazed conservative protestors scream:
We must “take back” our nation’s their theme.
Self-destructively rash,
They treat Census like trash.
Good luck with their blockheaded scheme!

© Madeleine Begun Kane. All Rights Reserved.
http://www.madkane.com/
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Evening Prayer
Someone has said that if Christians really understood the full extent of the power we have available through prayer, we might be speechless.

Did you know that during WWII there was an advisor to Churchill who organized a group of people who dropped what they were doing every day at a prescribed hour for one minute to collectively pray for the safety of England , its people and peace?

There is now a group of people organizing the same thing here in America . If you would like to participate: Every evening at 9:00 PM Eastern Time (8:00 PM Central) (7:00 PM Mountain) (6:00 PM Pacific), stop whatever you are doing and spend one minute praying for the safety of the United States , our troops, our citizens, and for a return to a Godly nation.

Thanks toWaneta
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Prep for Natural Disasters

In the event of any emergency, do you know what to do? As in the case of any unexpected event, good preparation is half the battle. For people with diabetes, this means not only protecting your home in the event of disaster, but also protecting your health.

Make sure there are people you can rely on who can check on you and provide assistance if you need it. These members of your network should be able to get to you and/or help you quickly. In addition, choose someone out of town who you and others of your family can connect with and relay information to and through.

Know Your Needs.
This will be a large part of your preparation plan. Figure out what you will be able to do for yourself if disaster strikes and what you will need others to do for you. Consider the potential changes to the environment as you assess your situation, ask yourself the following questions and record your answers in written or taped form:

1. Do you need help with personal care in any manner? Is there special equipment you need in order to care for yourself?
2. What will you do if water is cut off or you are unable to heat it for several days?
3. Do you require special utensils in order to eat and/or prepare food?
4. Do you have equipment that requires electricity? What will you do in the case of an electrical outage?
5. How will you handle debris in or around your home or along your planned exit route?
6. Do you require special transportation?
7. If you have a caregiver, what will you do if that person cannot get to you? What kind of help do you need?
8. In the event of an evacuation, do you need help leaving the premises? Can you reach and activate alarms?
9. If you are in a building with an elevator, are there stairs accessible? Will you be able to read all signs?
10. How will you be able to call for help if needed? If you are hearing and/or visually impaired, how will you communicate if your traditional methods are not working or are not available? i.e. your hearing aid gets wet; you don't have an interpreter; etc.
11. If you use ramps, what will you do if they are damaged and inoperable?
12. If you have a service pet, how will you care for it? Is there someone else who can provide care for your animal if you are unable to? Do you have necessary licenses updated and available so you will be permitted to keep your service pet in a shelter or other location outside of your home?

Know Your Community.
After you prepare internally, look outside your home to the community at large. Find out what types of disasters are most likely, what hazards exist, and what risks you are facing. To find out about hazards in your local area, go to www.hazardmaps.gov. In addition to hazards, know your community response plans and what transportation will be available in the event you are in need of this assistance. Also, learn how local authorities will warn you of possible disaster and how they will supply information during and after the disaster. Learn about NOAA Weather Radio and its alerting capabilities at www.noaa.gov.

Find out about special assistance programs that may be available and, if necessary, register with any you may need, including your local power company.

If you need help creating your plan, contact your local chapter of the American Red Cross or emergency management office.

Have a Plan.
It is not possible to plan for every contingency and even the best-laid plans can falter. Once you have created your primary plan, have an alternate prepared in order to ensure your safety.

1. Review your plan with your family members.
2. Agree on a meeting place.
3. Create a communications plan, which will include all phone numbers for family members, your support network, your out-of-town contacts, caregivers, and places you frequent such as work or school.
4. Know the best escape routes and places of safety. Assess these locations both inside and outside of your home.
5. Make a plan for your pets and service animals. If you need to keep your service animal with you, determine which places are animal friendly before-hand and make a list that includes these places as well as others who may be able to care for your pet in case you are unable to. i.e. friends, family members, local veterinarians, etc.

If Disaster Strikes...
If you are instructed to take shelter immediately, do so. If you are instructed to evacuate, try to make your first option staying with family or friends, as they know you and your needs best and may best be able to accommodate you. Emergency public shelters can be your next option as a source of shelter and food, but not personal health care. If you have a caregiver and have to go to shelter, it will be best to bring the caregiver with you.

In addition:
1 - Listen to the radio or television for the location of emergency shelters. Note those that are accessible to those with physical disabilities and those that have other disability friendly assistance features such as TTY lines.
2 - Shut off water, gas, and electricity if instructed to do so and if time permits.
3 - Wear appropriate clothing and sturdy shoes.
4 - Take your disaster and diabetes supplies kits.
5 - Lock your home.
6 - Use travel routes specified by local authorities and don't use shortcuts because certain areas may be impassable or dangerous.
7 - Confirm upon arrival at an emergency shelter that it can meet your special care needs.
8 - Inform members of your support network and out-of-town contact of your location and status.

Disaster is not predictable, but you can still be prepared. For more information on preparing for a disaster, check out these dLife resources.

Diabetes Care During Natural Disasters [http://www.dlife.com/diabetes/information/daily_living/weather/diabetes_care_natural_disasters.html]

Treating Diabetes Emergencies [http://www.dlife.com/diabetes/information/daily_living/emergencies/index.html]

Warning Signs of Diabetes Disasters [http://www.dlife.com/diabetes/information/daily_living/emergencies/index.html]

Emergency Kit: Be Prepared [http://www.dlife.com/diabetes/information/daily_living/weather/emergency-kit.html]

COLUMNS:

Diabetes Disaster Planning [http://www.dlife.com/diabetes/information/daily_living/Viewpoints/stoppler_012808.html]

Emergency Tactics [http://www.dlife.com/diabetes/information/daily_living/Viewpoints/karen_041707.html]

Before Emergency Strikes [http://www.dlife.com/diabetes/information/daily_living/Viewpoints/glick_032408.html]

Diabetes and Tragedy [http://www.dlife.com/diabetes/information/daily_living/Viewpoints/Manny_Hernandez/disaster-strikes.html]

Adapted from the American Red Cross and the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA).
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TOURBUS Vol 15, Number 57
10 May 2010

Is Online College Better? / Email Marketing / Digital Signatures / Make a Bootable USB Drive / What is Forex? / Geekly Update / Convert DVD to AVI In today's TOURBUS, we'll delve into Online College, and compare it to a traditional campus-based experience. I've also got some tips on getting started with Email Marketing, and the scoop on how Digital Signatures work.
Next, you'll find my guide to creating a Bootable USB Flash Drive, and a warning about online Forex Scams. Don't miss this week's Geekly Update, and learn how to Convert DVD Video to AVI Format. Read on!

Online College: The Right Choice?
Many people are turning to online college courses for personal improvement and professional development. I've written before about the variety of free online college courses that are available, but it's also quite possible to get fully accredited college degree by taking online college courses. But how does it compare to traditional, on-campus living and learning?
There are many pros and cons of online college. Here's some help in deciding...
ONLINE COLLEGE OR CAMPUS? [http://askbobrankin.com/online_college_or_campus_college.html?tbart]
ONLINE COLLEGE FINANCIAL AID [http://askbobrankin.com/financial_aid_for_online_college.html?tbart]
FREE ONLINE COLLEGE COURSES [http://askbobrankin.com/free_online_college_courses.html?tbart]

Email Marketing
If you have anything to sell, you really must incorporate email marketing into your online marketing strategy. A savvy email marketing campaign can bring you new customers, increase repeat business, and boost profits enormously. But... the cheapest way to launch an email marketing campaign is also the worst.
Doing email marketing the WRONG way can bring down the wrath of the Internet upon you and have the worst possible effects on your business. Here's how to do it right...
[http://askbobrankin.com/business_email_marketing.html?tbart]

How Do Digital Signatures Work?
Your handwritten signature is a legal instrument that verifies the authenticity of a document, or your acceptance of and agreement to the terms of a contract. But you need something tangible to sign -- a piece of paper, a bit of tree bark, or a clay tablet, something you can lay your hands on -- right? Not any more.
Digital signatures have evolved to serve the legal purpose of authenticating documents, but how do you "sign" something that only exists as a pattern of bits on a hard drive? Here's how it works...
[http://askbobrankin.com/digital_signatures.html?tbart]

How to Create a Bootable USB Flash Drive
When your hard drive won't boot, you need an emergency backup operating system on a bootable removable medium. CDs or DVDs fill that role most of the time. But optical media has its drawbacks - the disks are bulky and fragile. It may not boot when you need it desperately. Or it may be at home in the drawer.
But a USB flash drive is the perfect portable storage medium for an emergency bootable disk image. Here's how to make a reliable boot disk on a flash drive, to use when hard drive problems arise...
[http://askbobrankin.com/bootable_usb_flash_drive.html?tbart]

What is Forex?
Forex is short for "foreign exchange" and it refers to the biggest, freest marketplace in the world: the global trading of different nation's currencies or money. It's sometimes abbreviated "FX" but don't confused that with the gamer's terms for "effects." Forex is no game; it's about very real, very large sums of money.
But there are a lot of games involving forex being played on the Internet. Be careful; the rules are not always what they seem to be...
[http://askbobrankin.com/what_is_forex.html?tbart]

Geekly Update May 4
Are the Boy Scouts giving up on campfires and handing out merit badges for video game prowess? Which Internet provider was just handed the Golden Poo award for providing poor service and high prices? And is Flash video support finally here for Android and Nokia phones?
Get answers to these questions, and 146% more attaboys, just by reading the most recent installment of the Geekly Update...
[http://askbobrankin.com/geekly_update_may_4.html?tbart]

How to Convert DVD Video to AVI Format
Although you can "rip" a DVD free of its copy-protecton and copy it to your hard drive, this technique has some drawbacks. In its native uncompressed form, DVD data takes up a lot of disk space; 4 to 5 gigabytes for a typical movie. DVD data is stored on disc in a complex assortment of obscurely-named files, and you can't easily edit a DVD movie in its native format.
These drawbacks are overcome to a great extent by converting DVD data to AVI format. Here's how...
[http://askbobrankin.com/convert_dvd_to_avi.html?tbart]
~
TOURBUS Vol 15, Number 57
19 MAY 2010

Credit Monitoring / Slate PCs / House Values / Laptop Docking Stations / My Hard Drive Crashed! / Geekly Update In today's TOURBUS, you'll find online tools for Credit Monitoring, and how to check your credit report for free. I've also got a roundup of Slate PCs that you should look at before buying an iPad. And did you know there are free online tools that will estimate the Value of Your House?
If you have a laptop or notebook, get the scoop on Docking Stations -- you might not need a desktop computer at all. What would you do if your Hard Drive Crashed? Bone up on data recovery tips before it happens! And don't miss the most recent editions of the Geekly Update. Read on!

Credit Monitoring
Your credit is one of your most important assets in this day and age. It's also vulnerable to identity theft; credit reporting errors; and simple misunderstandings that can damage your credit and adversely impact more than just your ability to borrow money.
It's important to monitor your credit and correct any problems you can as quickly as possible. Here's how to keep tabs on your credit without getting ripped off...
[http://askbobrankin.com/credit_monitoring.html?tbart]

Slate PCs
The fashionable Apple iPad has sparked renewed interest in a category of computers known as the "Slate PC." It may surprise you to learn that, long before the iPad appeared everywhere, there have been many makes and models of this form factor. And I'm not talking about Fred Flintstone as a technology pioneer.
Check out these current and upcoming slate PCs before you run off to the Apple store...
[http://askbobrankin.com/slate_pcs.html?tbart]

What Is My House Worth?
The real estate market typically heats up this time of year, so you might be thinking of buying or selling a house. The value of your house is more important than ever, given the uncertainty in the current economy, and so many homeowners facing bankruptcy or foreclosure.
These free online tools to help you determine how much your house is worth should come in handy...
[http://askbobrankin.com/what_is_my_house_worth.html?tbart]

Laptop Docking Station
A laptop docking station is a powered system of ports into which a laptop computer is plugged, allowing the laptop to recharge its battery and connect to various desktop devices. A docking station allows a laptop to double as a desktop computer with more resources than will fit in a shoulder bag.
Learn more about connecting your laptop with a docking station...
[http://askbobrankin.com/laptop_docking_station.html?tbart]

My Hard Drive Crashed!
When the hard drive in your computer crashes and all of your digital possessions seem to disappear, have faith. Faith is the ability to not panic. In most cases, in spite of appearances, your data is still intact.
It's very unlikely that all of your stuff is gone forever. Here are some tips on recovering data from crashed a hard drive...
[http://askbobrankin.com/my_hard_drive_crashed.html?tbart]

Geekly Update
Is Darth Vader using the force to hack into your GPS? If you stacked 10 million eBooks on top of each other, how high would the pile be? And does social networking make you more vulnerable to identity theft?
Get answers to these burning questions, and 100 free electrons, just by reading the most recent installments of the Geekly Update.
GEEKLY UPDATE - MAY 18 [http://askbobrankin.com/geekly_update_may_18.html?tbart]
GEEKLY UPDATE - MAY 11 [http://askbobrankin.com/geekly_update_may_11.html?tbart]
~
TOURBUS EXTRA
25 MAY 2010
Are You Prepared for a Data Disaster?

What happens when your hard drive crashes, or you accidentally delete an important file? What if your computer is lost or stolen? Are your files safe in the event of fire, hurricane, flood, or a computer virus?

If you're not absolutely sure, I highly recommend that you read my new ebook:
Everything You Need to Know About Backups
(Because It's Not Just Your Computer... It's Your Life!)

You've spent years creating the information on your hard drive. It holds everything -- your email, recipes, love letters, tax returns, family photos, videos, and stuff that you've downloaded from the Internet.
What would you do if you lost everything on your computer? The baby pictures, your extensive music collection, and the novel you've been working on? What if you lost your financial records... and you got audited? Would your business survive?
Have you thought about the data on your cell phone, Blackberry or your iPhone? If your phone was stolen, or went through the wash, just imagine losing your address book, photos, apps and text messages.

And here's something else to consider. More and more, our lives are moving online. What would you do if your email, or your Facebook profile got wiped out by a hacker or an angry ex?
Here's Some Good News...

All that might sound terribly depressing, but it doesn't have to be that way. If you prepare in advance for a data disaster, you can get EVERYTHING back and move on quickly.

In "Everything You Need to Know About Backups", you'll discover:

* How to make sure ALL your important files are backed up in a safe place.
* Where to get FREE backup software, and how to simply "set it and forget it."
* Online Backup - the pros and cons, free alternatives, and your privacy and security concerns.
* There's even a chapter with resources to help you recover deleted files when there is no backup!
* And as I mentioned, not all your important data is on your computer. Some of it lives on the Internet, so I've got tips on how to back up your Email, Facebook, and Twitter info.
* You'll also find helpful tools for backing up your phone, which contains your address book, text messages, apps and other data.

As publisher of the Internet Tourbus, I've heard many sad stories from people who lost it all -- because they didn't have a backup. You already know you need to back up your important information.

This ebook provides you with the knowledge, skills and tools to get it done! Everything is explained in plain English, with no geek-speak or technobabble.

Order "Everything You Need to Know About Backups" now, for only $19.95. You'll save $5.00 off the regular price of $24.95 for a limited time. Offer expires May 31st.

P.S. -- This 37-page ebook is packed full of rock-solid content -- no advertising, no gimmicks -- and I'm positive you'll find it worth every penny. In fact, if you follow my advice, you'll save many times more than the price of the book. But if you're not completely satisfied, I'm offering a money-back guarantee. This special offer will expire soon, so get your copy today!
~
TOURBUS Vol 15, Number 57
08 JUN 2010

Prepaid Wireless Phones / MalwareBytes Anti-Malware / What's a Wireless Router? / Wireless Internet for Laptops / Geekly Update / Change Screen Resolution In today's TOURBUS, I've got some advice on how to choose a Prepaid Wireless Phone Service, and a recommendation for MalwareBytes Anti-Malware, an excellent free security tool. You'll also find two new editions of the Geekly Update, guaranteed to make you smarter without taping your glasses.
Everyone's going wireless, don't be left behind! Find out what you can do with a Wireless Router, and how to get Wireless Internet for Laptops. And finally, I've got help for those who want to change their Screen Resolution or magnify the screen. Read on!
Prepaid Wireless Phone Service
Choosing a mobile phone service is not simple. Because of the bewildering array of choices available in standard and prepaid wireless, it's hard to find the one that's best for you. One could argue that's by design, and therefore phone companies get rich.
But prepaid wireless is one way to keep things relatively simple. Read on to see my comparison of six prepaid and no-contract wireless plans...
[http://askbobrankin.com/prepaid_wireless_phone_service.html?tbart]

MalwareBytes Anti-Malware (MBAM)
MBAM is a free anti-malware application that's been available since 2004. It doesn't get as much press as commercial anti-malware apps like Symantec/Norton or McAfee, but it has helped me on many occasions when other anti-virus and anti-spyware apps failed to prevent or fix a malware problem.
Read on for more info about MBAM, and why I recommend that you install it -- even if you don't have a malware problem right now...
[http://askbobrankin.com/malwarebytes_antimalware.html?tbart]

What is a Wireless Router?
A reader asks: "I'm a little confused about routers. Can you explain to me about wireless routers, internet routers and exactly what you can do with them?" A router connects a number of devices together in a network, and routes data traffic between them. A wireless router connects devices without wires, using radio signals transmitted between devices and the router.
Read on to learn more about wireless routers, all the things you can do with them, and see my recommendations for three "Wireless N" routers that will turbocharge your home network...
[http://askbobrankin.com/wireless_internet_routers.html?tbart]

Wireless Internet for Laptops
On a related note, another reader wants to know: "How do I get wireless Internet access for my laptop? I just bought a new Dell laptop, and I'm having trouble getting on the Internet at home." If you have high-speed Internet access in your home, you probably have a Wifi router already. If you can't connect to it, I've got some troubleshooting tips.
If you want to connect wirelessly on the go, check out my info on finding a free wireless internet access point, and the cellular wifi alternative...
[http://askbobrankin.com/wireless_internet_for_laptops.html?tbart]

Geekly Update
Did you know that five million people saw ghosts on the Google homepage last week? Are geeks in California wirelessly hacking into automobile control systems? And are humans now suspectible to computer viruses?
Get answers to these burning questions, and two free Wikipedia searches, just by reading the most recent installments of the Geekly Update...
GEEKLY UPDATE - MAY 25 [http://askbobrankin.com/geekly_update_may_25.html?tbart]
GEEKLY UPDATE - JUN 01 [http://askbobrankin.com/geekly_update_jun_01.html?tbart]

Change Screen Resolution
Typically, a new computer will be configured to display at the highest resolution your monitor can support. A high screen resolution like 1680x1050 looks really sharp if you have a large desktop display and 20/20 vision. But older eyes (or those with smaller laptop or netbook displays) may find that the default screen resolution needs adjusting.
Here are some tips on how to adjust your monitor's resolution, and other options for screen magnification...
[http://askbobrankin.com/change_screen_resolution.html?tbart]

That's all for now, see you next time!
-- Bob Rankin
==[ Tourbus Rider Information ]===
The Internet Tourbus - U.S. Library of Congress ISSN #1094-2238
Copyright 1995-2010 - All rights reserved
Be Smarter & Better Looking Than [-99.959048-] Percent of Users
Hop On the Bus and Join 80,000 Others Around the World!
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The Pump Handle. A water cooler for the public health crowd.

June 10, 2010
OSHA agrees to give advance notice of enforcement actions against BP?

Category: Confined Space @ TPH • OSHA • Occupational Health & Safety

I noticed today on OSHA's website a new memorandum of understanding (MOU) with the US Coast Guard (USCG). Under the heading "Information Sharing: Enforcement," OSHA says it:

"will notify the Federal On Scene Coordinator (FOSC) when it intends to take any enforcement action against BP, BP's contractors, or any other employer engaged in response activities."

I must be missing something here because the OSH Act is pretty darn explicit in prohibiting advance notice of an enforcement action. It's a big no-no, punishable with as much as a $1,000 fine or as much as 6 months in jail. The statute says:

"Any person who gives advance notice of any inspection to be conducted under this Act, without authority from the Secretary or his designees, shall, upon conviction, be punished, etc. etc., etc." [Section 17(f)]

Oh, I see. For everybody else, advance notice is a crime, but not for BP. Labor Secretary Solis is offering BP and its contractors this special treatment because....because....they can't afford to comply with worker health and safety standards? Because worker health and safety standards are just too inconvenient? Because BP is such a stellar corporation that they can be trusted to meet or exceed safety standards?

If Secretary Solis has a five star reason for giving BP special treatment, I hope she reveals it to us. I can't comprehend why OSHA would agree to no first instance sanctions for a company with a vile record of killing and maiming workers? Nobody else is exempt from first instance OSHA violations.

I've checked out the National Oil and Hazardous Substance Pollution Contingency Plan, which is referenced in the OSHA/Coast Guard MOU, and I don't see language in there instructing the Secretary to abdicate her enforcement authority. In fact, I see the provisions requiring that OSHA's hazardous waste and emergency response standard (29 CFR 1910.120) should be followed; OSHA recently said it has thrown out the window modified for now the rule's full requirements.

I know, I know, it's an unprecedented disaster. But special treatment for a company that OSHA's own deputy asst. secretary said: "...has serious, systemic safety problems"? Why does this employer (or contractors hired by this company) deserve a free pass?
If companies hiring workers to do clean-up of this toxic mess can't meet OSHA standards--which we all know are a bare minimum---these firms don't belong down there hiring workers to do this hazardous work. If someone is bending the Secretary ear that BP or its contractors will balk if they get a citation, then contest it and drag it out for years, let BP do it. I'd love to see the press:

BP fighting OSHA citation for failing to provide safety gear, or threatening workers who complain about hazards, or skimping on cooling trailers and rest breaks.

There's already loads of uncertainty about stopping the gusher, drilling the relief well, tracking the underwater oil, and the like. OSHA enforcing health and safety protections to give workers the best change of surviving this hazardous work should be a sure thing.

Read on [http://scienceblogs.com/thepumphandle/2010/06/osha_giving_advance_notice_of.php#more]

Posted by Celeste Monforton
~
Recent Posts

* OSHA agrees to give advance notice of enforcement actions against BP?
* Better Planning for Livability Requires Better Funding for Transit
* MSHA says system is broken. MSHA has power to fix it.
* Time to Retire the "Rationing" Talking Point
* Are Respirators Necessary in the Gulf?
* What are Gulf responders breathing? Some data released, but questions remain
* The Importance of Collecting Data (Gulf Coast edition)
* Water for Agriculture: A Limited Resource
* Occupational Health News Roundup
* Risk Communication and Our Mental BP Narratives

http://scienceblogs.com/thepumphandle/
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Weekly Toll _ _ http://weeklytoll.blogspot.com/
Death In The Workplace w/News & Updates
John Donne _ ...any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.

Worker Dies at North Texas Gas Well - - Fort Worth, Texas - Two agencies are investigating whether safety rules were followed after a man died while working at a gas well drilling site. Silverio Rubio-Loredo was pronounced dead Wednesday night at the site near Eagle Mountain Lake, northwest of Fort Worth. Tarrant County Sheriff's Office spokesman Terry Grisham says the 25-year-old man was working at an elevated position when a piece of equipment hit him in the head.

Lake Ronkonkoma Woman Dies in Industrial Accident - - June 2, East Farmingdale, New York - A woman from Lake Ronkonkoma died Tuesday in an industrial related incident. Yolanda Gonzalez, 39, was labeling pallets of canned tomatoes for transport by a forklift at L & S Packing in East Farmingdale when two pallets of bottled vodka sauce fell on her around 6:45 p.m., according to Suffolk County Police. Several co-workers came to her aide and removed the pallets. Gonzalez is the shipping manager of the facility, located at 101 Central Ave.

Worker killed while power-washing Milford home - - June 2, Milford, Connecticut - A Bridgeport man was killed and a second man injured when their aluminum ladder came in contract with electrical wires Tuesday evening. Victor Larranaga-Marquez, 33, of 96 Atwater St. in Bridgeport, was pronounced dead at the scene. Larranaga-Marquez and his uncle, Gerrardo Marquez-Hernandez, 45, of 169 Scofield Ave. in Bridgeport were power-washing a house at 65 Point Beach Drive when the accident occurred at about 6:30 p.m., police said.

Plant employee dies in tragic accident - - May 28, Lime Co., Oklahoma - A longtime employee with U.S. Lime Co. – St. Clair in Marble City died Monday after he became lodged inside an industrial machine that he had been repairing. Wilbur Alvie Farris, 61, of Marble City was working on a vacuum-rolling machine for three hours, but just after 4 p.m. Monday the machine was somehow activated and sucked Farris inside Sequoyah County Sheriff Ron Lockhart said.

Okla. Lime Plant Employee Killed In Machine - - May 25, Marble City, Oklahoma - Authorities say an employee performing maintenance on a machine at a limeplant has been killed. Sequoyah County Sheriff Ron Lockhart says his office received a call about 4 p.m. Monday of an industrial accident at the U.S. Lime & Minerals Inc. in Marble City. Lockhart said Tuesday 61-year-old Wilbur Farris was performing work on a vacuum rolling grinder when the machine turned on for some reason.

http://weeklytoll.blogspot.com
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NEVER FORGET! We're listing the names of our soldiers killed since our last Bleat was published. These records can be found at http://www.defenselink.mil/releases/

01 Staff Sgt. Esau S.A. Gonzales, 30, of White Deer, Texas, died May 3 in Mosul, Iraq, of injuries sustained from a non-combat related incident. He was assigned to the 38th Explosive Ordnance Disposal Company, Fort Stewart, Ga.

02 Lance Cpl. Joshua M. Davis, 19, of Perry, Iowa, died May 7 while supporting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 2nd Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

03 Lance Cpl. Christopher Rangel, 22, of San Antonio, Texas, died May 6 while supporting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to the 3rd Battalion, 6th Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

04 Capt. Kyle A. Comfort, 27, of Jacksonville, Ala., died May 8 in Helmand province, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked his unit using an improvised explosive device. He was assigned to the 3rd Battalion, 75th Ranger Regiment, Fort Benning, Ga.

05 Spc. Jeremy L. Brown, 20, of McMinnville, Tenn., died May 9 at Contingency Outpost Zerok, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked his unit using small arms fire. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 187th Infantry Regiment, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), Fort Campbell, Ky.

06 Cpl. Kurt S. Shea, 21, of Frederick, Md., died May 10 while supporting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to 3rd Battalion, 10th Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

The Department of Defense announced today the death of two Marines who were supporting Operation Enduring Freedom. The following Marines died May 11 while supporting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan:
07 Cpl. Jeffrey W. Johnson, 21, of Tomball, Texas, and .
08 Sgt. Kenneth B. May, Jr., 26, of Kilgore, Texas.
Johnson and May were assigned to 3rd Battalion, 1st Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Pendleton, Calif.

09 Sgt. Donald J. Lamar II, 23, of Fredericksburg, Va., died May 12 while supporting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to 1st Battalion, 2nd Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

10 Sgt. Joshua D. Desforges, 23, of Ludlow, Mass., died May 12 while supporting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to 1st Battalion, 6th Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

11 Sgt. Denis D. Kisseloff, 45, of Saint Charles, Mo., died May 14 at Forward Operating Base Shank, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked his unit using rocket propelled grenade and small arms fires. He was assigned to the 1141st Engineer Company, Kansas City, Mo.

12 Petty Officer Zarian Wood, 29, of Houston, Texas, died May 16 in Helmand Province, Afghanistan, of wounds sustained from an improvised explosive device blast while on dismounted patrol. Wood was assigned as a hospital corpsman to Third Battalion, First Marine Regiment, First Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force.

13 Cpl. Nicholas D. Paradarodriguez, 29, of Stafford, Va., died May 16 while supporting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to 1st Battalion, 6th Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

14 Staff Sgt. Adam L. Perkins, 27, of Antelope, Calif. died May 17 while supporting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to 7th Engineer Support Battalion, 1st Marine Logistics Group, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Pendleton, Calif.

The Department of Defense announced today the deaths of five soldiers who were supporting Operation Enduring Freedom. They died May 18 in Kabul, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when enemy forces attacked their convoy with a vehicle-borne improvised explosive device. Killed were:
15 Col. John M. McHugh, 46, of New Jersey, assigned to the U.S. Army Battle Command Training Program, Fort Leavenworth, Kan.;
16 Lt. Col. Paul R. Bartz, 43, of Waterloo, Wis., assigned to Headquarters, 10th Mountain Division (Light Infantry), Fort Drum, N.Y.;
17 Lt. Col. Thomas P. Belkofer, 44, of Perrysburg, Ohio, assigned to Headquarters, 10th Mountain Division (Light Infantry), Fort Drum, N.Y.;
18 Staff Sgt. Richard J. Tieman, 28, of Waynesboro, Pa., assigned to Special Troops Battalion, V Corps, Heidelberg, Germany; and
19 Spc. Joshua A. Tomlinson, 24, of Dubberly, La., assigned to Special Troops Battalion, V Corps, Heidelberg, Germany.

20 Lance Cpl. Patrick Xavier Jr., 24, of Pembroke Pines, Fla., died May 18 while supporting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to 3rd Battalion, 6th Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

21 Staff Sgt. Shane S. Barnard, 38, of Desmet, S.D., died May 19 in Zabul Province, Afghanistan, of wounds sustained when he stepped on a secondary improvised explosive device. He was assigned to the 3rd Ordnance Battalion (Explosive Ordnance Disposal), Joint Base Lewis-McChord, Wash.

22 Pfc. Billy G. Anderson, 20, of Alexandria, Tenn., died May 17, in Badghis province Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked his unit with improvised explosive devices. He was assigned to the 508th Special Troops Battalion, 4th Brigade Combat Team, 82nd Airborne Division, Fort Bragg, N.C.

23 Lance Cpl. Philip P. Clark, 19, of Gainesville, Fla., died May 18 while supporting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to 1st Battalion, 6th Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

24 Pfc. Jason D. Fingar, 24, of Columbia, Mo., died May 22 in Durai, Afghanistan, of wounds sustained when his military vehicle struck an improvised explosive device. He was assigned to the 4th Battalion, 23rd Infantry Regiment, 5th Stryker Brigade Combat Team, 2nd Infantry Division, Joint Base Lewis-McChord, Wash.

25 Spc. Stanley J. Sokolowski, III, 26, of Ocean, N.J. died May 20 in Kirkuk, Iraq, in a non-combat related incident. He was assigned to Special Troops Battalion, 1st Brigade, 1st Armored Division, Fort Bliss, Texas.

26 Staff Sgt. Amilcar H. Gonzalez, 26, of Miami, Fla., died May 21 in Ash Shura, Iraq, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked his unit with small arms fire. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 64th Armor Regiment, 2nd Heavy Brigade Combat Team, 3rd Infantry Division, Fort Stewart, Ga.

27 Pfc. Christopher R. Barton, 22, of Concord, N.C., died May 24 in Khowst province, Afghanistan, of wounds sustained when insurgents attacked his unit using small arms fire. He was assigned to the 1st Squadron, 33rd Cavalry Regiment, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), Fort Campbell, Ky.

28 Maj. Ronald W. Culver Jr., 44, of Shreveport, La., died May 24 in Numaniyah, Iraq, when insurgents attacked his vehicle with an improvised explosive device. He was assigned to the 2nd Squadron, 108th Cavalry Regiment, Shreveport, La.

29 Sgt. Edwin Rivera, 28, of Waterford, Conn., died May 25 at National Naval Medical Center, Bethesda, Md., of wounds sustained May 20 when his unit was attacked by enemy forces using indirect fire at Contingency Outpost Xio Haq, Afghanistan. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 102nd Infantry, Norwalk, Conn.

30 Cpl. Jacob C. Leicht, 24, of College Station, Texas, died May 27 while supporting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to the 1st Light Armored Reconnaissance Battalion, 1st Marine Division, 1st Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Pendleton, Calif.

31 Lance Cpl. Anthony A. Dilisio, 20, of Macomb, Mich., died May 30 while supporting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to 1st Battalion, 6th Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, IIMarine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

32 Pfc. Jake W. Suter, 18, of Los Angeles, Calif., died May 29 while supporting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to 3rd Battalion, 3rd Marine Regiment, 3rd Marine Division, III Marine Expeditionary Force, Kaneohe Bay, Hawaii.

33 Pfc. Alvaro R. Regalado Sessarego, 37, of Virginia Beach, Va., died May 30 at Brooke Army Medical Center, Fort Sam Houston, Texas, of injuries sustained April 18 from a non-combat related incident at Dahuk, Iraq. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 36th Infantry Regiment, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 1st Armored Division, Fort Bliss, Texas.

34 Spc. Jonathan K. Peney, 22, of Marietta, Ga., died June 1 in Kandahar province, Afghanistan, of wounds sustained when he was shot by enemy forces. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 75th Ranger Regiment, Hunter Army Airfield, Ga.

35 Pvt. Francisco J. Guardado-Ramirez, 21, of Sunland Park, N.M., died June 2 in Baghdad, Iraq, of injuries sustained from a non-combat related incident. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 41st Field Artillery Regiment, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 3rd Infantry Division, Fort Stewart, Ga.

36 1st Lt. Joseph J. Theinert, 24, of Sag Harbor, N.Y., died June 4 in Kandahar, Afghanistan, of wounds sustained when insurgents attacked his unit using a rocket propelled grenade and an improvised explosive device. He was a New York Army National Guardsman assigned to 1st Squadron, 71st Cavalry Regiment, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 10th Mountain Division (Light Infantry), Fort Drum, N.Y.

The Department of Defense announced today the deaths of three Marines who were supporting Operation Enduring Freedom. The following Marines died June 6 while supporting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan:
37 Sgt. Brandon C. Bury, 26, of Kingwood, Texas.
38 Lance Cpl. Derek Hernandez, 20, of Edinburg, Texas.
39 Cpl. Donald M. Marler, 22, of St. Louis, Mo.
Bury, Hernandez and Marler were assigned to 3rd Battalion, 1st Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Pendleton, Calif.

40 2nd Lt. Michael E. McGahan, 23, of Orlando, Fla., died June 6 in Khogyani district, Nangarhar province, Afghanistan, of wounds sustained when enemy forces attacked his unit using small arms fire. He was assigned to the 1st Brigade Special Troop Battalion, 187th Infantry Regiment, 1st Brigade Combat Team 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), Fort Campbell, Ky.

41 Sgt. John K. Rankel, 23, of Speedway, Ind., died June 7 while supporting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to 3rd Battalion, 1st Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Pendleton, Calif.

42 Spc. Brendan P. Neenan, 21, of Enterprise, Ala., died June 7 at Jelawar, Afghanistan, of wounds sustained when insurgents attacked his unit using an improvised explosive device. He was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 508th Parachute Infantry Regiment, 4th Brigade Combat Team, 82nd Airborne Division, Fort Bragg, N.C.

43 Sgt. Steve M. Theobald, 53, of Goose Creek, S.C., died June 4 near Kuwait City, Kuwait, of injuries sustained in a military vehicle roll-over. He was assigned to the 287th Transportation Company, Livingston, Ala.

The Department of Defense announced today the deaths of two Marines who were supporting Operation Enduring Freedom. The following Marines died June 8 while supporting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan:
44 Sgt. Derek L. Shanfield, 22, of Hastings, Pa.
45 Sgt. Zachary J. Walters, 24, of Palm Coast, Fla.
Shanfield and Walters were assigned to 2nd Battalion, 6th Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

46 Sgt. Erick J. Klusacek, 22, of Calcium, N.Y., died June 8 at Gerda Serai, Afghanistan, of injuries sustained from a non-combat related incident. He was assigned to the 1st Squadron, 33rd Cavalry Regiment, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), Fort Campbell, Ky.

DOD Identifies Air Force Casualties The Department of Defense announced today the deaths of four airmen who were supporting Operation Enduring Freedom. They died June 9, near Forward Operating Base Jackson, Afghanistan, in a helicopter crash. Killed were:
47 Staff Sgt. Michael P. Flores, 31, of San Antonio, Texas, assigned to the 48th Rescue Squadron, Davis-Monthan Air Force Base, Ariz.
48 1st Lt. Joel C. Gentz, 25, of Grass Lake, Mich., assigned to the 58th Rescue Squadron, Nellis Air Force Base, Nev.
49 Staff Sgt. David C. Smith, 26, of Eight Mile, Ala., assigned to the 66th Rescue Squadron, Nellis Air Force Base.
50 Senior Airman Benjamin D. White, 24, of Erwin, Tenn., assigned to the 48th Rescue Squadron, Davis-Monthan Air Force Base.

51 Lance Cpl. Michael G. Plank, 25, of Cameron Mills, N.Y., died June 9 while supporting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to 7th Engineer Support Battalion, 1st Marine Logistics Group, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Pendleton, Calif.

52 Lance Cpl. Gavin R. Brummund, 22, of Arnold, Calif., died June 10 while supporting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to 3rd Battalion, 6th Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.
~~
Air Force Pilot Missing From Vietnam War Identified

The Department of Defense POW/Missing Personnel Office announced today that the remains of a U.S. serviceman, missing in action from the Vietnam War, have been identified and returned to his family for burial with full military honors.

Air Force Col. Elton L. Perrine of Pittsford, N.Y., was buried last week at Arlington National Cemetery near Washington, D.C. On May 22, 1967, Perrine and Capt. Kenneth F. Backus completed a nighttime strike against the Cao Nung Railroad Yard near the town of Kep in North Vietnam. Seconds after the bomb run, a nearby aircrew reported seeing an isolated explosion approximately three miles east of the target, thought to be Perrine’s F-4C Phantom aircraft crashing. Search and rescue attempts were not initiated due to heavy anti-aircraft fire in the area.

Analysts from DPMO developed case leads with information spanning more than 28 years. Through interviews with eyewitnesses and research in the National Archives, four locations in Lang Son Province were pinpointed as potential crash sites, separated by as many as 10 miles.

Between 1999 and 2008, U.S.-Socialist Republic of Vietnam teams, led by the Joint POW/MIA Accounting Command, further analyzed leads, interviewed villagers, conducted two surveys and four excavations. The teams recovered small pieces of aircraft wreckage, human remains, personal effects and life-support equipment from the four locations.

Among other forensic identification tools and circumstantial evidence, scientists from JPAC and the Armed Forces DNA Identification Laboratory also used mitochondrial DNA – which matched that of Perrine’s mother – in the identification of his remains. No remains connected to Backus were recovered at the locations.
~~
Soldier Missing From Korean War Identified

The Department of Defense POW/Missing Personnel Office announced today that the remains of a U.S. serviceman, missing in action from the Korean War, have been identified and returned to his family for burial with full military honors.

Army Master Sgt. Roy E. Head of Clinchport, Va., will be buried Saturday in Duffield, Va. Head was assigned to Headquarters Company, 49th Field Artillery Battalion. After the 1953 armistice, it was learned from surviving POWs that he had been captured in February 1951, marched north to a POW camp in Suan County, North Korea, and died of malnutrition a few months later. Between 1991 and 1994, North Korea gave the United States 208 boxes of remains believed to contain the remains of 200-400 U.S. servicemen. North Korean documents turned over with one of the boxes indicated the remains were exhumed near Suan County. This location correlates with Head’s last known location.

Analysts from DPMO developed case leads with information spanning more than 58 years. Through interviews with surviving POW eyewitnesses, experts validated circumstances surrounding the soldier’s captivity and death, confirming wartime documentation of his loss.

Among other forensic identification tools and circumstantial evidence, scientists from the Joint POW/MIA Accounting Command and the Armed Forces DNA Identification Laboratory also used dental comparisons and mitochondrial DNA – which matched that of two of his brothers -- in the identification of the remains.

More than 2,000 servicemen died as prisoners of war during the Korean War. With this accounting, 8,025 service members still remain missing from the conflict.
~~
Airmen Missing From Vietnam War Identified

The Department of Defense POW/Missing Personnel Office announced today that the remains of nine U.S. servicemen, missing in action from the Vietnam War, have been accounted-for and returned to their families for burial with full military honors.

Air Force Col. William H. Mason, Camden, Ark.; Lt. Col. Jerry L. Chambers, Muskogee, Okla.; Maj. William T. McPhail, Chattanooga, Tenn.; Maj. Thomas B. Mitchell, Littleton, Colo.; Chief Master Sgt. John Q. Adam, Bethel, Kan.; Chief Master Sgt. Calvin C. Glover, Steubenville, Ohio; Chief Master Sgt. Thomas E. Knebel, Midway, Ark.; Chief Master Sgt. Melvin D. Rash, Yorktown, Va.; and Master Sgt. Gary Pate, Brooks, Ga., were buried as a group today in Arlington National Cemetery. The individually identified remains of each airman were previously returned to their families for burial.

On May 22, 1968, these men were aboard a C-130A Hercules on an evening flare mission over northern Salavan Province, Laos. Fifteen minutes after the aircraft made a radio call, the crew of another U.S. aircraft observed a large ground fire near the last known location of Mason’s aircraft. Search and rescue attempts were not initiated due to heavy antiaircraft fire in the area.

Analysts from DPMO developed case leads with information spanning more than 40 years. Through interviews with eyewitnesses and research in the National Archives, several locations in Laos and South Vietnam were pinpointed as potential crash sites. Between 1989 and 2008, teams from Laos People’s Democratic Republic and the Vietnam, led by the Joint POW/MIA Accounting Command, pursued leads, interviewed villagers, and conducted 10 field investigations and four excavations in Quang Tri Province, Vietnam. They recovered aircraft wreckage, human remains, crew-related equipment and personal effects.

Scientists from JPAC and the Armed Forces DNA Identification Laboratory also used mitochondrial DNA – which matched that of the crewmembers’ families – as well as dental comparisons in the identification of the remains.

Since late 1973, the remains of 927 Americans killed in the Vietnam War have been accounted-for and returned to their families. With the accounting of these airmen, 1,719 service members still remain missing from the conflict.
~~
WWII Pearl Harbor Sailor Identified

The Department of Defense POW/Missing Personnel Office (DPMO) announced today that the remains of a U.S. serviceman missing in action from World War II has been identified and will be returned to his family for burial with full military honors.

He is U.S. Navy Fireman Third Class Gerald G. Lehman, of Hancock, Mich. He will be buried Saturday in Hancock.

When the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor Dec. 7, 1941, the battleship USS Oklahoma suffered multiple torpedo hits and capsized. As a result, 429 sailors and Marines died. Following the attack, 36 of these servicemen were identified and the remaining 393 were buried as unknowns in the National Memorial Cemetery of the Pacific in Honolulu, Hawaii.

In 2003, an independent researcher contacted the Joint POW/MIA Accounting Command (JPAC) with information he believed indicated that one of the USS Oklahoma casualties who was buried as an unknown could be positively identified. After reviewing the case, JPAC exhumed the casket and discovered that it contained Lehman’s remains.

Among other forensic identification tools and circumstantial evidence, scientists from JPAC and the Armed Forces DNA Identification Laboratory also used dental comparisons and mitochondrial DNA – which matched that of his sister and nieces -- in the identification of Lehman’s remains.

More than 400,000 of the 16 million Americans who served in World War II died. At the end of the war, the U.S. government was unable to recover, identify and bury approximately 79,000 as known persons. They include those buried with honor as unknowns, those lost at sea, and those missing in action. That number also includes the 1,100 sailors entombed in the USS Arizona Memorial in Pearl Harbor. Today, more than 72,000 Americans remain unaccounted-for from WW II.

For additional information on the Defense Department’s mission to account for missing Americans, visit the DPMO Web site at http://www.dtic.mil/dpmo or call 703-699-1169.
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"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." __ Franklin D. Roosevelt
"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. _ _ George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" _ _ Queen E. Watson
“A political class of Republicans and Democrats that look after themselves, not the Nation. A media hostile to the very precepts of this nation. A generation of Americans who see morals as vices, and are ignorant of America's Actual History.”
"The things that will destroy America are prosperity-at-any-price, peace-at-any-price, safety-first instead of duty-first, the love of soft living, and the get-rich-quick theory of life." - - Theodore Roosevelt
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Scheduled Activities
Men's Prayer Breakfast held every Tuesday morning at 6 AM in Miller's Cafeteria. If you aren't a regular participant at the Men's Prayer Breakfast, you're missing some great food, fellowship and inspired teaching of the Word. Hope to see you there.
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Emergency Phone Number 911
(Fire, Police, Ambulance, Sheriff, etc. )
Central Dispatch 234_5655
(Non _ Emergency Number)
Direct Numbers
Ambulance _ 234_7371 (24 Hour)
Jail _ 234_5331 (24 Hour)
Poison Control _ 800_222_1222 (24 Hour)
http://www. aapcc. org/
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Interested in getting in touch with the Banner_News through e_mail?
E_mail addresses for communicating with the newspaper’s various departments are:
editor@bannernews.net For the editor, news@bannernews.net For news and sports items, Coming Events, Diary, Church News, school and civic events.
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circulation@bannernews. net To start, stop or cancel newspaper delivery or for comments about delivery.
outfitters @bannernews.net For Office Outfitters, the office supply division of the Banner_News.
[http://www.bannernews.net/]
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"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." __ "Bug"
"I read the end of the book. We win!" __ "Bug"
"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." __ "Bug"
"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." _ _ "Bug"
"It's no big deal doing what God tells you to do. A big deal would be NOT doing what God tells you to do. Just ask Jonah." _ _ Paul Troquille
“Nam et ipsa scientia potestas est.” Knowledge is power. _ Francis Bacon
"The problem is here and now. The time for talk is past. The time for action is now."
Comments on the first Earth Day _ James F. McClellan via John "Fuzzy" Thurman
~~~~~
Hope you enjoy the newsletter.
Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" __"Bug"
God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
1 Cor 16:7 Mat 9:20-22 Mat 10:18-21 Mat 10:40-42 Mark 6:36-38 Zec 1:1-3 Nahum 1:7 Ezek 33:31-33 Acts 24:8 Prov 14:1 Prov 13:20 Mat 8:23-26 Mat 10:5-8 2 Chr 30:12-13 2 Chr 14:2,6 Mat 10:32-33 Mat 26:30-31 2 Chr 31:1 Prov 12:17-19 Mat 9:36-38 http://www.e_min.org/
God is Good and Faithful CU 73 IC JFM CSP NREMT_I KC5HII

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