Sunday, September 23, 2012

Bug’s Bleat - - GCF: Grocery Bag

Volume 14, Issue 37 Friday, September 21, 2012

Our favorite flight nurse/paramedic, Lou, gives Annette a hug before loading Uncle Mike into Life Net's helicopter.

Annette reaches out to hug Julannia who is being held by her dad, Brandt and is sporting her new glasses.

I took this photo of a "Fire Tornado" at the old foam project on Brayton Fire Training Grounds.

These deer were standing along East Columbia Street. Annette photographed them as we drove to church last Sunday.

Lou and her crew load Uncle Mike for the flight to Texarkana.

Hello ALL,

"Annette’s games" - - The “Wife Of My Youth” has always been a winner. And she’s enjoyed playing games all our married life. When she was younger, she was a “killer” at video games, regularly beating the kids.

Activision’s “River Raid” was one of her favorites. There was a line of neighborhood kids who tried to beat her and failed. But that championship is in the past. She rarely plays video games these days. Sudoku and Crosswords are her games of choice today. Those and the games she plays with me.

Annette has several games she likes to play with me, such as the phone number game. She will ask me to call someone for her, and give me the number. Now I can’t remember numbers. I’m just not wired that way. But Annette, and her whole family, can remember just about any number. She remembers addresses, how much the dry cleaner charged for that jacket or what our water bill was in January. And phone numbers are a chinch for her. Except …. She doesn’t always remember which number goes with a particular name. So she’ll ask me to call someone, the dry cleaner for example, and she’ll give me the number. I’ll dial the number and … sometimes it is the dry cleaner. Or it might be the bank or our next door neighbor or … well you get the idea. When I tell her that I got homeland security when I called that number, she gives me another number.

Are you familiar with the odds of flipping a coin? No matter how many times you flip a coin. No matter how many times it falls heads or tails up. The odds of it being heads (or tails) on the next flip are always 50 / 50. And the odds of Annette giving me the correct number when she wants me to make a call are the same … 50 / 50. Actually, it’s kind of fun, sort of like that old party game where you pulled on the “popper” and got a prize. Annette’s phone number game is the same. Sometimes you get who you thought you were dialing. Sometimes it’s someone else. And sometimes, it’s a really fun number (like the IRS or Barksdale Air Force Base.)

Another of her most fun games is the fast food drive through game. There are two options to this game.

Option one consists of her giving me intricate instructions for her order and then seeing if I and the store got it right. For instance, when I go to McDonald’s for breakfast, I usually get a number 4 with a small coffee. That’s the order. The total order.

When Annette orders breakfast at McDonalds it will be something like … Pancakes, with just one pancake and substitute a biscuit for the other pancake, a strawberry jelly, two butters, three syrups and a coffee with one equal but don’t put it in the coffee, she’ll do that because she doesn’t want the whole equal and some plain creamer placed in the cup before the coffee is poured so it’s properly mixed.

Or she’ll send me for Chinese. I’ll get Sesame Chicken. She’ll give me the following instructions for her order: “Hunan Chicken, with fried rice but no chicken pieces in the rice. No broccoli or green bell pepper but red bell pepper is o.k., just not more than ten pieces. Replace the broccoli and green pepper with extra snow pea pods. Small mushrooms are o.k. but not big pieces and make sure the rice is fresh.
She wins if the store and I don’t get it right. I win if her order is right.
Her other fast food game is going with me to order and pick up the food. Then, just as we approach the microphone, she’ll get on the phone and start talking to one of the kids. As I try to order, she’ll give me her choices in small snippets interspersed with her conversation on the phone.

I think this is even more fun for her because she gets to be there and watch as the store employee and I vainly try to interpret her instructions, given us in such short pieces. This is usually followed by a trip back to the store to correct whatever was wrong with the order. I think, for her, it’s sort of like playing fetch with the dog. Except there’s more than one ball laying in the back yard. :0)
Our grandson Ethan was talking about “Happy Meals” and “WackyPaks” (if you don’t know what I’m referring to, you don’t have grandkids.) Ethan said “We shouldn’t get the meals with toys at McDonald’s or Sonic.” “Why?” I asked. “Well, they’re food places, not toy stores. You get a better toy and a better deal at Wal-Mart.” Out of the mouths of babes.
3-year-old Reese: 'Our Father, Who does art in heaven, Harold is His name.
A little boy was overheard praying: 'Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it.
I'm having a real good time like I am.'
After the christening of his baby brother in church, Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.
His father asked him three times what was wrong.
Finally, the boy replied, 'That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I wanted to stay with you guys.'
One particular four-year-old prayed, 'And forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets.'
A Sunday school teacher asked her children as they were on the way to church service, 'And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?'
One bright little girl replied, 'Because people are sleeping.'
A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin 5, and Ryan 3
The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake.
Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson.
'If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, 'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.'
Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, ' Ryan, you be Jesus!’
A father was at the beach with his children when the four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore where a seagull lay dead in the sand...
'Daddy, what happened to him?' the son asked.
'He died and went to Heaven,' the Dad replied.
The boy thought a moment and then said, 'Did God throw him back down?'
A wife invited some people to dinner.
At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said, 'Would you like to say the blessing?'
'I wouldn't know what to say,' the girl replied.
'Just say what you hear Mommy say,' the wife answered.
The daughter bowed her head and said, 'Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?'
Thanks to Gracie Lou Murphy
Those remind me of the question Josiah had when his great grandma passed away. We’d been careful to explain to him that Mammaw Dorothy had gone to heaven.
The day before the funeral, the family gathered at the funeral home to view the body before the evening viewing...
Josiah was very quiet as we walked into the room, filled with flowers and fine furniture with a casket sitting in the middle.
The undertakers had opened the casket and we each passed by, lifting the little ones to see. Then the family took a seat and started visiting quietly.
Josiah continued looking around the room, then came over to me and asked; “Is this Heaven?”
Blonde MEN Jokes

A friend told the blonde man: "Christmas is on a Friday this year."
The blond man then said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th."
Two blonde men find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station. One asked: "What if one explodes before we get there?"
The other says: "We'll lie and say we only found two."
A blonde man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts: "Did you find the shampoo?"
He answers, "Yes, but I'm not sure what to do... it's for dry hair, and I've just wet mine."
A blonde man goes to the vet with his goldfish.
"I think it's got epilepsy," he tells the vet.
The vet takes a look and says, "It seems calm enough to me."
The blonde man says, "Wait, I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet."
A blond man shouts frantically into the phone "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" asks the Doctor.
"No!" he shouts, "this is her husband!"
A blonde man was driving home, drunk as a skunk.
Suddenly he has to swerve to avoid a tree, then another, then another.
A cop car pulls him over, so he tells the cop about all the trees in the road.
The cop says, "That's your air freshener swinging about!"
A blonde man's dog goes missing and he is frantic.
His wife says "Why don't you put an ad in the paper?"
He does, but two weeks later the dog is still missing.
"What did you put in the paper?" his wife asks.
"Here boy!" he replies.
A blonde man is in jail. Guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet. "Just WHAT are you doing?" he asks.
"Hanging myself," the blond replies.
"It should be around your neck" says the guard.
"I tried that," he replies, "but then I couldn't breathe."
(This one actually makes sense.)
An Italian tourist asks a blonde man: "Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?"
To which the blonde man replies: "If they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat."
Thanks to Waneta
Paraprosdokians (Winston Churchill loved them) are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous. Enjoy!

1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.
3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit... Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
10. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, Notify:' I put 'DOCTOR'.
11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
13. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure...
14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
16. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
17. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it’s getting harder and harder for me to find one now
Thanks to Waneta
Florida - -
A Florida senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.

"Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-95, pushing the pedal even more.
Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a Florida State Trooper, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this!" and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.

Pulling in behind him, the trooper got out of his vehicle and walked up to the Corvette. He looked at his watch, and then said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a new reason for speeding--a reason I've never before heard -- I'll let you go."

The old gentleman paused then said: "Three years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back.

"Have a good day, Sir," replied the trooper.
Georgia - - The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.

He called her into his office and said, "Y'all graduated from the University of Georgia and I need some help. If I wuz to give yew $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"

The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everthang but my earrings."
Louisiana - - A senior citizen in Louisiana was overheard saying ... "When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana.”

When asked why, he replied, "I'd rather be in Louisiana 'cause everythang happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the world."
Mississippi - - The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!"

Bubba replied, "Did y'all see who it was?"

The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."
South Carolina - - A man in South Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait.

A passerby studied the scene as he drove by, and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.

The man replied, "I got a flat tire."

The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"

The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back. I never did understand it neither."
North Carolina - - A North Carolina State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-85. The trooper asked, "Got any ID?"

The driver replied, "Bout whut?"
Texas - - The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch. The Sheriff asked, "Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don't you see that sign right over your head."

"Yep," he replied. "That's why I'm dumpin' it here, 'cause it says: 'Fine For Dumping Garbage.' "
Y'all kin say whut ya want 'bout the South, but y'all ain't never heard o' nobody retirin' an' movin' North.
Thanks to Waneta
A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping

for me and buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6."

A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.

The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"

He replied, "They had eggs."
Another fine one from Waneta
SCAM ALERT: Rabbit TV - - Category: Gadgets, Telephony

How would you like to get over 2000 TV channels and 1000 radio stations on your Internet-enabled PC? How about if it costs just $10, plus another $7.99 for shipping? And what if it came on a 'free' USB flash drive? If that sounds good to you, then you’re a sucker. Read on to learn about the Rabbit TV scam...

Read more:
Shale gas forum touts resurgence of U.S. manufacturing industry - - The U.S. natural gas boom is fueling the country's manufacturing sector through low natural gas prices, presenting a huge competitive advantage for firms that produce in the U.S., according to industry experts who spoke at Shale Gas Insight 2012. Natural gas and natural gas liquids such as ethane are "the secret sauce of the chemical industry," said Martha Gilchrist Moore, senior director of policy analysis and economics at the American Chemistry Council. An ACC study shows that an increase of about 25% in ethane production would lead to $132 billion in increased economic output as well as 40,000 direct and indirect chemical industry jobs, she added. The Oklahoman (Oklahoma City) (9/21) []
Mustard Seed Financial

Train Up a Child About Money

Have you ever argued with your teenager about the cost of an item of clothing in the store? You thought the price was outrageous and they countered with “But all my friends have one of these!” Years ago when my kids were growing up we used to have discussions over the annual school clothes budget. I never could get my head around tennis shoes and jeans costing $100 a pair or more. So one year we came up with the idea of an annual clothing allowance. Each kid got a fixed amount of money and it was theirs to spend on clothing as they chose. If one kid wanted a jacket that was perhaps extravagant in my view, it was their money and they didn’t have to justify the purchase to us. But they did have to contend with the fact that it came out of their clothing budget and that the budget was a limited amount. If there were funds left at the end of the year, they got to keep the balance.

As I recall, my kids became more careful about the choices they made in buying clothing. There’s nothing like spending your own money to make you a discriminating shopper. Sometime back I got a call from my son, who had been watching some Dave Ramsey material. He said Dave Ramsey brought up the concept of a clothing budget for kids as a way to teach them about money and it brought back a few memories.

Teaching kids about money may not be at the top of your list as a parent. But we live in a world where easy credit and over consumption are prevalent. As a parent or grandparent, you should consider whether you want to ingrain your kids with healthy financial habits or let society do the training. Mary Hunt, the author of a recent book, “Raising Financially Competent Kids” says many parents often neglect basic training about finances. The main reason, according to Hunt, is that parents feel financially inept themselves.

Teaching responsible financial behavior is best taught by example. Take the situation of a five year old shopping with you. They are constantly asking for a toy or a snack they see on the shelf. You eventually give in and buy them one or more items. Perhaps if you get out with only one item, you feel like you won the battle. Here’s an alternative plan: prior to entering the store, give them a fixed sum, maybe a dollar, and explain that it is their money to spend any way they like. As you go through the store, point out prices on things they ask about. That way, they learn about the value of money. Hunt points out that you should use cash here, coins and dollars, not debit cards or credit cards. A young child at some point can understand the difference between a one dollar bill and a five dollar bill. But using a card makes it hard for them to associate values. Besides, they will learn all about the use of those cards soon enough!

Giving a child an allowance is a great way to train them about money. Hunt thinks a dollar a week per year of age is reasonable, so a five year old would get $5 a week. That may sound steep to you-I think I got a quarter a week as a kid- so adjust accordingly. Tie the allowance to responsibilities, such as picking up their room every day or maybe carrying out the trash. If they miss a day, dock them a day’s allowance. They will learn to associate responsibility with money. Hunt says as kids age, space the allowance out. For a five year old, pay them each week. But a teenager might get paid once a month. If they run out of funds, don’t bail them out. This teaches budgeting.

If giving is important to you, this is a great opportunity to pass this trait on to your kids. Encourage them to separate funds for different purposes. For a five year old, that may mean putting a few coins into a separate jar or envelope labeled for church. Another container may hold savings, funds they are setting aside to make a bigger purchase. When the savings become large enough, take the child to the bank and let them open a savings account, a first step toward learning about investing. And financial training is a practical way to reinforce math skills they are learning at school.

I’ve just given a few examples here of how to teach your kids financial skills. You can use your imagination to come up with other ideas that work with your family. The important point is to take the opportunity to train your kids in this vital area of life.

Published in the Texarkana Gazette on September 16, 2012.
Complaints to the government are up sharply about unwanted phone solicitations, raising questions about how well the federal "do-not-call" registry is working. The biggest category of complaint: those annoying prerecorded pitches called robocalls that hawk everything from lower credit card interest rates to new windows for your home.
To file a complaint with the FTC, people can go online to or call 888-382-1222 to report their experience for possible
Being Green

Checking out at the store, the young cashier suggested to the older woman, that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren't good for the environment.

The woman apologized and explained, "We didn't have
this green thing back in my earlier days."

The young clerk responded, "That's our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment f
or future generations."

She was right -- our generation didn't have the green thing in its day.

Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were truly recycled.

But we didn't have the green thing back in our day.

Grocery stores bagged our groceries in brown paper bags that we reused for numerous things, most memorable besides household garbage bags, was the use of brown paper bags as book covers for our schoolbooks. This was to ensure that public property, (the books provided for our use by the school) was not defaced by our scribblings. Then we were able to personalize our books on the brown paper bags.

But too bad we didn't do the green thing back then.

We walked up stairs, because we didn't have an escalator in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn't climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks.

But she was right. We didn't have the green thing in our day.

Back then, we washed the baby's diapers because we didn't have the throwaway kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy-gobbling machine burning up 220 volts -- wind and solar power really did dry our clothes back in our early days. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing.

But that young lady is right; we didn't have the green thing back in our day.

Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house -- not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of the state of Montana. In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we didn't have electric machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used wadded up old newspapers to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap. Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity.

But she's right; we didn't have the green thing back then.

We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water. We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull.

But we didn't have the green thing back then.

Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service. We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn't need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 23,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest burger joint.

But isn't it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn't have the green thing back then?
Quotes from some of my favorite folks:
Nancee Davis Law - - I guess you could say I'm re-tired...I was tired yesterday & I'm tired again today.

Don't let people rent negative space in your head~~You are not their landlord!

Life is like jumping on a trampoline. When you fall down, you will eventually bounce back.

Young at heart. Slightly older in other places!
Amanda Bowen Franks - - “Hold everything in your hands lightly; otherwise it hurts when God pries your fingers open.” ― Corrie Ten Boom
Carl Fredrick Roach - - After a night of deep introspection, I came to the conclusion that indecision has held me back. Today, I'm not so sure about that.
Jimmy Malone - - I don't want to focus on being a better speaker. I want to focus on having something worth saying.

The best thing about Grace is that it’s not fair.
And some from a celebrity. - Stephen King:

Laughter - - “You can't deny laughter; when it comes, it plops down in your favorite chair and stays as long as it wants.”

Talent - - "Talent is cheaper than table salt. What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of hard work."

What I am - - "People think that I must be a very strange person. This is not correct. I have the heart of a small boy. It is in a glass jar on my desk."
The latest from Michael Yon, the foremost “milnews” blogger on the web.

Wisdom from the Netherlands. []


Michael Yon
Chiang Mai
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Please remember that this website accepts no advertisement and is dependent on your support.
If you would like to encourage US Troops overseas, but are not sure just how to begin, visit for ideas.
September 21, 2012

Here's hoping you're off to have a great weekend!

Sports Announcer Overcomes Autism For Dream Job []
Jamaal Street has a distinctive voice and extensive sports knowledge which makes him an in-demand announcer for games. He also happens to have autism.
CNN Heroes Are Announced []
Meet the 10 awesome people CNN is honoring this year.
Photos on the front of this week’s “Bleat” include - - Annette, Julianna (in her new glasses) and Brandt, A “fire tornado” photo I took several years ago, deer along east Columbia street, Lou and her LifeNet team transporting Uncle Mike to the helicopter, Lou hugging Annette before loading Mike.
For the latest issue of "Da Bleat" go to
Our photos are posted at
Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
BreakPoint - - Worldview Glasses - - Can We See Things As They Are?

If we don’t understand worldview, we won’t understand why people act as they do. And that’s true in New York, Cairo, or anywhere else.

John Stonestreet

The biggest news coming out of New York’s recent Fashion Week had nothing to do with the clothes the models were wearing. Instead, the buzz was all about their glasses: Google’s “augmented reality” eyewear.

It’s called “augmented reality” because when you look through them you’re not seeing the world as it actually is, but instead, how certain programmers interpret it. You’re seeing what the software mandates that you see.

Apart from supermodels and Google employees, virtually no one else is wearing Google’s $1,500 interpretation of reality glasses.

Now that doesn’t mean just because you’re not wearing the glasses that you’re seeing the world as it truly is. Quite the contrary. Everyone has a worldview, and worldviews function as Google’s project does, only without the supermodels.

An ongoing example is the fallout from the 2011 Arab Spring. In the wake of anti-government protests and revolts, western governments, including our own, offered encouragement and sometimes even aid to those pushing for democracy in countries like Tunisia, Egypt, and Libya. The hope was that dictators would be replaced by democratic governments.

Well, that’s what their Western secular worldviews led them to believe. Reality, as we have learned the hard way, has proven to be very different. The choices are not limited to tyrants and would-be Thomas Jeffersons. As we have seen in places like Egypt, Libya and Syria, Islamists are ready, willing, and able to take advantage of the instability created by the collapse of the old order.

Yet judging by their reactions, world leaders, including many of our own, seem to be genuinely surprised at this turn of events. As Secretary Clinton, referring to the attack that killed Ambassador Chris Stevens, said, “How could this happen in a country we helped liberate, in a city we helped save from destruction?”

Where that question comes from is the blind spot in the modern Western worldview. That blind spot sees religion as, at best, a private matter, and at worst, something societies outgrow on their way to full “maturity,” which of course, means “like us.”

This worldview denies—in fact cannot even see—the role that Christianity played in the development and shaping of the Western ideas of freedom, human rights, and, especially in the U.S., democracy itself. It shouldn’t surprise us, then, that they don’t understand why you can’t simply export Western democratic values to places like Egypt and Libya and expect them to work in anything resembling the manner that they do here.

Nor can they understand why Islamic societies, to whom the Western idea of separating religion from politics is literally foreign, might support Islamist parties like the Muslim Brotherhood. For them, religion isn’t a private matter, and it certainly isn’t something you outgrow on the way to aping the West.

The blind spot is not limited to foreign affairs. I remember in the wake of the Columbine shootings there was no shortage of “explanations” for why the shooters did what they did. With one exception, virtually every possible theory was thrown against the wall to see if it stuck.

The exception was the shooters’ often-professed and well-documented nihilism. The pundits for the most part ruled out this possibility that what the shooters believed actually affected what they did. Not because of the evidence but because, like the software for the Google eyewear, the pundits’ worldview wouldn’t let them see it.

Folks, as Chuck Colson said over and over again, worldview matters. And it affects how we see all of reality: from New York to Cairo and back again.

And to deepen your worldview, join me this weekend on BreakPoint This Week. I’ll be speaking with Dr. Glenn Sunshine and Jim Garlow about Pulpit Freedom Sunday. If you can’t tune in, just come to and click on the “This Week” tab.

Further Reading and Information

After attacks in Egypt and Libya, USA asks: Why?
Sarah Lynch, Oren Dorell and David Jackson | USA Today | September 13, 2012

Why the Arab Spring has failed: Watchdog claims people have no more freedom than under the tyrants they deposed
Daily Mail | September 18, 2012

Libya Attack: U.S. Consulate Violence Was 'Terrorist Attack,' Says Counterterrorism Official
Reuters | Huffington Post | September 19, 2012

France to close embassies in fear of cartoon backlash | September 20, 2012

Copyright © 2012 Prison Fellowship. All Rights Reserved

Residents of Columbia County, Arkansas are represented in Congress by:

Senator John Boozman (R_ AR)
1 Russell Courtyard
Washington DC, 20510
Phone: 202-224-4843
Senator Mark Pryor (D_ AR)
Phone 202_224_2353
FAX 202_228_0908
Representative Michael A. Ross (D _ 04)
Phone 202_225_3772
FAX 202_225_1314
Other states congresspersons can be found at: []
"Today's Seed" from E-MIN - Sept. 21, 2012

Today's message is an encore presentation of the Today's Seed
message that was sent 13 years ago today, Sept 21, 1999.

This is a simple message; but, in its simplicity, how many of us can do it? Can you resist the urge to respond in anger if something unexpected happens today? Can I?

It is better for us to face the question now, because most likely, before the day is over, "There will be a test..."
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

(Psa 4:3-8 NIV) Know that the LORD has set apart the godly for himself; the LORD will hear when I call to him. In your anger do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent. Offer right sacrifices and trust in the LORD. Many are asking, "Who can show us any good?" Let the light of your face shine upon us, O LORD. You have filled my heart with greater joy than when their grain and new wine abound. I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety.

Prayer: LORD, help me not act rashly or in anger today, but consider You in all my decisions and keep my faith and trust in You. You are my source of strength and joy in all situations, and You alone cause me to live in peace and safety. Thank You for Your watchfulness and care for me. In Jesus' name, Amen.

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Today's Seed by Randall Vaughn is published daily (M-F) by E-MIN Global Ministries, P O Box 220, Warrior, AL 35180 (USA) Copyright Terms/Permissions/List Privacy Today's Seed(TM) (c) 2012 Randall Vaughn All Rights Reserved Worldwide.
"The pessimist complains about the wind. The optimist expects it to change. The leader adjusts the sails." - John Maxwell

"If you really want people to respond to your leadership, you have to have a personal relationship with them. They need to know you're dependable and that you'll be there if they have a problem. That's personal power to me." - Noreen Haffner

"What sculpture is to a block of marble, education is to a human soul." - Joseph Addision

"If you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it." - W. Somerset Maugham

"For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil." - Bible, 1st Timothy 6:10

"Any idiot can face a crisis. It's the day-to-day living that wears you out." - Anton Chekhov

"We have always found that people are most productive in small teams with tight budgets, time lines and the freedom to solve their own problems." - John Rollwagen

Prayer Alert: "The World Changed Today for Christians" - - Dan Wooding (Sep 16, 2012)
"These events beg the questions: If the U.S. cannot or will not defend embassies, what will be defended? If the embassy staff, in Libya or elsewhere, is not defended, what will the aid be to any U.S. citizen traveling in a country who may be at risk? Apart from domestic security in the U.S. what does this mean for Christians, churches and missionaries around the globe?" -Mary Marr, Founder CEN
Read Full Story []

Victory for Nurses Who Won't Assist in Abortions - - Teresa Neumann (Sep 17, 2012)
The American Center for Law and Justice steps in to advocate for a group of pro-life nurses in large West Coast hospital.
Read Full Story []

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GCF: Grocery Bag

If this was forwarded to you, please consider your own subscription to Good Clean Fun. It's free! Just send an email to:

It was very crowded at the supermarket, and the customer in front of me had a large order.

As the harried looking clerk lifted the final bag for her, its bottom gave way, sending the contents crashing to the floor.

"They just don't make these bags like they used to," the clerk quipped to the customer. "That was supposed to happen in your driveway!"
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GCF: Gift from the Sheriff

"Hello, is this the Sheriff's Office?"

"Yes. What can I do for you?"

"I'm calling to report 'bout my neighbor Virgil Smith. He's hidin' marijuana inside his firewood! Don't quite know how he gets it inside them logs, but he's hidin' it there."

"Thank you very much for the call, sir."

The next day, the Sheriff's Deputies descend on Virgil's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They sneer at Virgil and leave.

Shortly, the phone rings at Virgil's house.

"Hey, Virgil! This here's Floyd. Did the Sheriff come?"


"Did they chop your firewood?"


"Happy Birthday, buddy!"
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GCF: A Programmer's Sense of Humor

A forestry-service employee was recording the rainfall in his area. One drizzly day, his thoughts were apparently elsewhere as he typed "thirty three inches" instead of "thirty-three hundredths of an inch" into the computer.

It was obvious that the machine had been programmed by someone with a sense of humor, for this message quickly appeared on the screen "Build the ark. Gather the animals two by two..." --------------------

Tom's Note: I confess that as a computer programmer (excuse me, I mean software engineer) for 30+ years, I sometimes got a bit frivolous when concocting error messages, especially for those situations where an obvious error was found and made it look like someone had entered something so completely wrong that it bordered on ... well let's just say that what was entered could not possibly be correct. In those situations, the error message my code produced might be something like "Did your finger slip?" or "You didn't really mean that, did you?" etc. You gotta have SOME fun, right?
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GCF: Tim Robbed

One night, Tim was walking home when, all of a sudden, a thief jumped on him.

Tim and the thief were began to wrestle. They rolled about on the ground and Tim put up a tremendous fight. However, the thief managed to get the better of him and pinned Tim to the ground.

When the thief went through Tim's pockets all he could find on Tim was 25 cents. He was so surprised at this he asked why Tim had bothered to fight so hard for 25 cents.

"Was that all you wanted?" Tim replied, "I thought you were after the five hundred dollars I've got in my shoe!"
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GCF: Breakfast

Deciding to eat healthier breakfasts, my brother-in-law declared that oatmeal would now be his cereal of choice. But after eating his first bowl, he told my sister, "I hope I develop a taste for the stuff. It goes down real rough."

"Well," she asked, "how long did you cook it?"

"You're supposed to cook it?" he said.
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/ )| Thomas S. Ellsworth |( \
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No English dictionary has been able to explain the difference between the two words "complete" and "finished" in way that is easy to understand.

Some people say there is no difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED, but there is:

When you marry the right one, you are COMPLETE...

And when you marry the wrong one, you are FINISHED...

And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are COMPLETELY FINISHED.

Received from TwoTimesAr.


Creative Problem Solving

There are SEVERAL ways to solve a problem. For example, consider the following from "The Teaching of Elementary Science and Mathematics" by Alexander Calandra:

The process of creativity is a mysterious and interesting one. It is brilliantly described in the following story. A student refused to parrot back what he had been taught in class. When the student protested, I was asked to act as arbiter between the student and his professor.

I went to my colleague's office and read the examination question: 'Show how it is possible to determine the height of a tall building with the aid of a barometer.'

The student had answered: 'Take the barometer to the top of the building, attach a long rope to it, lower the barometer to the street and then bring it up, measuring the length of the rope. The length of the rope is the height of the building.'

A high grade is supposed to certify competence in physics, but the answer did not confirm this. I suggested that the student have another try at answering the question. I gave the student six minutes, with the warning that his answer should show some knowledge of physics. In the next minute he dashed off his answer, which read: 'Take the barometer to the top of the building and lean over the edge of the roof. Drop the barometer, timing its fall with a stopwatch. Then, using the formula S = {frac 1/2}a{sp 8}t(2), calculate the height of the building.'

At this point, I asked my colleague if he would give up. He conceded, and I gave the student almost full credit.

In leaving my colleague's office, I recalled that the student had said he had other answers to the problem, so I asked him what they were.

'Oh, yes. There are many ways of getting the height of a tall building with the aid of a barometer. For example, you could take the barometer out on a sunny day and measure the height of the barometer, the length of its shadow, and the length of the shadow of the building, and by the use of a simple proportion, determine the height of the building.'

Fine, I said. And the others?

'Yes. Take the barometer and begin to walk up the stairs. As you climb the stairs, you mark off the length of the barometer along the wall. You then count the number of marks, and this will give you the height of the building in barometer units. A very direct method.'

'Finally, there are many other ways of solving the problem. Probably not the best is to take the barometer to the basement and knock on the superintendent's door. When the superintendent answers, you speak to him as follows: "Mr. Superintendent, here I have a fine barometer. If you will tell me the height of this building, I will give you this barometer".'

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.


Chinatown Laundry

Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs, and banners. He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign, "Hans Olaffsen's Laundry."

"Hans Olaffsen?" he muses. "How in the world does that fit in here?"

So he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman behind the counter.

The tourist asks, "How did this place get a name like Hans Olaffsen's Laundry?"

The old man answers, "Is name of owner."

The tourist asks, "Well, who and where is the owner?"

"Me, is right here," replies the old man.

"You? How did you ever get a name like Hans Olaffsen?"

"Is simple," says the old man. "Many, many year ago when come to this country, was stand in line at Documentation Center. Man in front was big blonde Swede. Lady look at him and go, 'What your name?'

"He say, 'Hans Olaffsen.'

"Then she look at me and go, 'What your name?'

"I say, 'Sem Ting.'"

Received from Big Mac Clean Joke Attack.



Two CPAs were returning home from a client meeting. They took the cheapest seats on the plane so they each were
occupying the center seat on opposite sides of the aisle. They continued their discussion of the knotty tax problem that had been the subject of their client meeting through takeoff and meal service.

Finally, one of the passengers in an aisle seat offered to trade places so they could talk and he could sleep.

After switching seats, one CPA said to the other that it was the first time a tax discussion ever kept anyone awake.

Received from Clean-Laffs.



To impress his date, the young man took her to a very swank and impressive Italian restaurant.

He ordered one of the more expensive bottles of wine on the menu, and the two chatted as they sipped from their glasses.

Finally, he picked up the menu again and studied it with a fine eye. When the waiter came for the order, the young man confidently said, "We'll both have the Guiseppe Spomdalucci."

"I'm sorry, sir," said the waiter, "but that's the owner."

Received from Doc's Daily Chuckle.

(_:][:_) - The Good, Clean Funnies List A cheerful heart is good medicine... (Prov 17:22a) Facebook: Twitter: Mail address: GCFL, Box 100, Harvest, AL 35749, USA

The latest GCFL funny can always be found on the web at
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Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Column - -

© Madeleine Begun Kane. All Rights Reserved.
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"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." __ Franklin D. Roosevelt
"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. _ _ George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" _ _ Queen E. Watson
“A political class of Republicans and Democrats that look after themselves, not the Nation. A media hostile to the very precepts of this nation. A generation of Americans who see morals as vices, and are ignorant of America's Actual History.”
"The things that will destroy America are prosperity-at-any-price, peace-at-any-price, safety-first instead of duty-first, the love of soft living, and the get-rich-quick theory of life." - - Theodore Roosevelt
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Emergency Phone Number 911
(Fire, Police, Ambulance, Sheriff, etc. )
Central Dispatch 234_5655
(Non _ Emergency Number)
Direct Numbers
Ambulance _ 234_7371 (24 Hour)
Jail _ 234_5331 (24 Hour)
Poison Control _ 800_222_1222 (24 Hour)
http://www. aapcc. org/
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E_mail addresses for communicating with the newspaper’s various departments are: For the editor, For news and sports items, Coming Events, Diary, Church News, school and civic events.
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outfitters For Office Outfitters, the office supply division of the Banner_News.
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"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." __ "Bug"
"I read the end of the book. We win!" __ "Bug"
"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." __ "Bug"
"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." _ _ "Bug"
"It's no big deal doing what God tells you to do. A big deal would be NOT doing what God tells you to do. Just ask Jonah." _ _ Paul Troquille
“Nam et ipsa scientia potestas est.” Knowledge is power. _ Francis Bacon
"The problem is here and now. The time for talk is past. The time for action is now."
Comments on the first Earth Day _ James F. McClellan via John "Fuzzy" Thurman
Hope you enjoy the newsletter.
Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" __"Bug"
God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
God is Good and Faithful CU 73 IC JFM CSP NREMT_I KC5HII

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