Monday, January 31, 2011

Bug's Bleat - Light Whole Wheat Bread

One of my better looking round loaves.

Lately, I've been getting better rise than expected.

Another Round Loaf

I've started using a bread pan to get more even slices.
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Bug's Bleat - - Light Whole Wheat Bread

Here's the Light Whole Wheat Bread Recipe that I use.

3 cups lukewarm water
1-1/2 tablespoons granulated yeast (1-1/2 packets)
1-1/2 tablespoons salt
1 cup whole wheat flour (or 1&1/4)
5-1/2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour (or 3 cups all-purpose, 2 cups of bread flour)
Whole wheat flour for the pizza peel

1. Mixing and storing the dough: Mix the yeast and salt with the water in a 5-quart bowl, or a lidded (not airtight) food container.

2. Mix in the remaining dry ingredients without kneading, using a spoon, or a heavy-duty stand mixer (with dough hook).

3. Cover (not airtight), and allow to rest at room temperature until the dough rises and collapses (or flattens on top), approximately 2 hours.

4. The dough can be used immediately after the initial rise, though it is easier to handle when cold. Refrigerate in a lidded (not airtight) container and use over the next 14 days.

5. On baking day, dust the surface of the refrigerated dough with flour and cut off a 1-pound (grapefruit-size) piece. Dust the piece with more flour and quickly shape it into a ball by stretching the surface of the dough around to the bottom on all four sides, rotating the ball a quarter-turn as you go. Allow to rest and rise on a cornmeal-covered pizza peel for 40 minutes.

6. Twenty minutes before baking time, preheat the oven to 440 F, with a baking stone placed on the middle rack. Place an empty broiler tray on any other shelf.

7. Sprinkle the loaf liberally with flour and slash a cross, “scallop,” or tic-tac-toe patter into the top, using a serrated bread knife. Leave the flour in place for baking; tap some of it off before eating.

8. Slide the loaf directly onto the hot stone. Pour 1 cup of hot tap water into the broiler tray, and quickly close the oven door. Bake for about 35 minutes, or until deeply browned and firm.

9. Allow to cool before slicing or eating.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Chemical Properties - - Photos

Fall on Lucy Circle

The L&NW heads south.

Same train from the west side of the tracks.
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Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Chemical Properties

One of Magnolia's well painted water towers. This one is across from Amigo Juan's

North Dudney Road, just south of the 82 bypass.
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Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Chemical Properties

The old Sanders place.

Fall in the Ozark foothills.

Fall at Aunt Shirly and Uncle Herbs.

Fall in the Red River Bottoms
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Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Chemical Properties

The former CCLOC Library is now a Farmer's Bank Office Building.

Round Hay Bales always attract my lens.

If there were square bales, they probably would too.
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Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Chemical Properties

Volume 13, Issue 03 Friday, January 21, 2011

Hello All,

The “Cotton Valley” railroad is progressing. The entire roadbed has been laid and about 60% of the track is down. We’re powering up each section as it’s laid and driving trains over it to check for problems. Annette has built our tunnel and one tree covered hill. She’s got another 100 trees ordered and has bid on several trucks, cars and other vehicles. She’s looking for people now. Those 100 Chinese for $3 are looking better all the time.
I’m really enjoying building this and I’m flabbergasted that Annette is letting me “junk up” the living room with four tables of trains and construction materials. She’s been more than patient with me. Though she has questioned whether or not it would have been cheaper to buy a REAL train.
We hope to have a complete loop of track laid this week so we can do more than drive back and forth on the sections we’ve laid.
Since February is near, here’s the beginning of my “Birthday Wish List” [] Item # 988 00 081
I hope to add more.
Numerous dentists had recommended that I have my wisdom (?) teeth out. I avoided the pain for years until Annette made me an appointment with Edwin Wilkins dad. He was gonna pull the two on my left side first, then a week later, pull the two on my right side.
The experience was EXCRUCIATING! I came out looking like I'd been in a fight with Rocky, Mr. T and Joe Frazier. There was NO WAY that I was going back for that kind of misery again. But Annette explained that Dr. Wilkins had told her that he was doing the difficult ones first and the next two would be very easy.

The next appointment turned out to be 10 TIMES WORSE. He actually ended up kneeling on my chest and using a hammer and chisel to wrench the last two from my jaw.
When I stumbled back out into the waiting room, my sweet, Christian wife looked at me and said ... "I lied."

This is some very good advice from dLife on how to feed a diabetic.

Diabetes Eating Do's and Don'ts, Simple tips for healthy eating. - By Lara Rondinelli RD, LDN, CDE

I'm usually flexible and realistic with nutrition recommendations, but I have some basic tips for healthy eating that include things you should never do and things you should always do with diabetes.

Eat out of a bag or box.
Drink regular soda or sweetened drinks
Make starchy carbohydrates your main course.
Skip meals.
Give up on healthy eating.

Pay attention to what you're eating.
Eat from at least three food groups at every meal.
Grocery shop regularly, ideally weekly.
Have protein with meals.
Eat fruits and vegetables daily.

The entire article can be seen at []
It's a new year but the tendency of some groups to defend their organizations and actions against findings of truth persists. Two news items caught my eye; "DNA Clears Texas Prisoner after 30 Years” and "GOP Plans Six Obama Investigations." In the first case, another person, imprisoned for decades, has been shown to be innocent through DNA tests. This is a tragic story; the bright side is that they did find out that he was innocent. The dark side is that it's taken decades to get local prosecutors to allow the testing to be done. Almost without exception, local officials fight these tests. Why?
And the second, who pays when political parties constantly, investigate each other? The Democrats spent millions on the Watergate investigation. Then the republicans spent 10s of millions on the Clinton investigations, etc. etc. etc.
Please quit wasting our money and your time. On the other hand, congress folks tied up in investigations aren’t writing legislation to take our money and give it to their cronies. ...
U.S. Rep. Gabrielle Giffords lived through the attack. Her eventual recovery may yet show us all what is really medically and spiritually possible. As for her attacker ... assassins are murderers in search of a cause. What they want is fame. I’ve advocated for years that the photos and names of mass murders not be published. We’re just feeding their desire to be infamous.
I'm looking forward to reading several books I’ve downloaded this year, if I ever get my Kindle back. Annette told me that she doesn't want a Kindle, she doesn't read enough to justify it. Funny, she seems to keep mine all the time.
Are you an Customer? Get great prices for your used books through their Book Buyback Store. Visit to search for eligible titles, ship them to Amazon for free, and receive an Gift Card deposited in your account upon receipt of your items. []
Union Pacific Railroad has announced that the “Little Rock Express” Edged out the “Tuscola Turn” ( by 3,042 votes) to Win Union Pacific Railroad's Great Excursion Adventure - You Route the Steam Contest
Union Pacific will route one of its legendary steam locomotives from Kansas City, through St. Louis and on to Little Rock. The excursion date will be determined within the coming weeks. Source: Union Pacific: []
Discussing discipline for children. There are many great books and videos as well as classes. The best basically say to discipline for rebellion only. How to discipline varies but I prefer a spanking using a switch. To me it’s much preferred to begging and negotiating and then getting mad and saying to the kid “You are grounded for life.” Cause you’re lying to the kid. They ain’t grounded for an hour, much less for life.
My grand sons have all learned ... I don't put up with that "STUFF."
A few years ago, I took my grandsons Dusty and Zac to the video store. I was going to pick up a couple of movies and let the kids get a game or two. As soon as we got in the store, Zac screamed "I want a game!" I told him that we would look at games after I got the movies. Whereupon, he fell on the floor and started kicking and screaming. I just picked him up, laid his little fit throwing body over my shoulder and continued shopping while he screamed. After getting my movies, I took Dustin over to the games, he made his choice, we checked out and went to the truck. Meanwhile Zac continued to scream. I got them both buckled in and started the engine (as Zac continued with his "fit") when I heard Dusty say; "Zac. It's PaPaw!" Zac suddenly realized who he was dealing with and stopped screaming. In a sweet voice he said; "Papaw. Could I please have a game?" "Sure Son." I replied. So we went back into the video store and he politely picked out a game.
I also believe in telling kids at a young age what's going on and not lying to them (i.e. telling them their gonna be punished or rewarded and not going through with it.)
It's up to y'all to decide what age to start different types of discipline but we started as soon as they were crawling.
Annette and I got a lot of help from the James Dobson Books such as "The New Dare to Discipline" by James C. Dobson (Paperback - Mar 8, 1996) also raising boy (or girls) and "The Strong Willed child" all of these are available for Kindle.
Bottom line is a child should only be disciplined for "Rebellion" and not mistakes. And don't be afraid to tell a child you're sorry and that you were wrong. I came home one day to find David and Annette crying together. She said to him; "David. I'm sorry but you have to remember that this is the first time I've ever been a mother." To which 3 year old David replied, with tears in his eyes, "Well, it's the first time I've been a kid too."
Agenda 21 is real. It's another attempt for the "elite" to help us poor ignorant "peasants" live our lives. It's root goal is to ensure that the whole world lives in a "sustainable" manner (i.e. where none of the "little folks" use too many resources.)
A21 is no surprise if you look at all the other ways our government, as well as the governments of much of the world, are trading freedom for supposed "security."
Freedom is a young (around 200 year) concept. Dictatorial government has been around much much longer and is always the choice of fearful, small minded, folks.
A friend and I were discussing the fact that a recently retired coworker won’t answer questions about the job and spends his time at the golf course. ... That guy probably has the most healthy attitude. Retire and Refocus and shake the dust from your feet. I kept worrying about my former job all through 2009. Annette finally told me in June of '10 that I really ought to retire and quit trying to keep working (either as "Cotton Valley Safety" or as an unpaid consultant for Albemarle.)
So, I finally started getting my head around the idea that I was really not going to work anymore (except for my volunteer work and a very rare class taught at the community college). Once I realized that, Annette came up with the idea to get out the old trains and start building.
So I’m actually retired now. Well, pretty much ... I have applied to be on the Library Board and to be a member of the new hospital's Community Advisory Panel. So maybe I'm not cured yet. :0)
Here are some news items that caught our attention:

GOP Plans Six Obama Investigations - [$xB8XAD7I6]
10 Diets that actually work - As millions seek to ditch the holiday flab, The Daily Beast analyzes the most up-to-date clinical studies on 10 major diets []
Prepare to Die for a Lack of Money - By Gene Lyons | January 2nd, 2011 []
EPA facing another lawsuit over E15 decision - The National Petrochemical and Refiners Association filed a legal challenge against the Environmental Protection Agency's decision to permit the sale of gasoline with a 15% blend of ethanol. The agency had "acted unlawfully in its rush to allow a 50% increase in the amount of ethanol in gasoline without adequate testing and without following proper procedures," said Charles Drevna, president of NPRA. Star Tribune (Minneapolis-St. Paul, Minn.)/The Associated Press []
Things That Will Make You Smarter in 2011 - A website that tracks your moods, a pen that takes flawless notes, a thriller about Wall Street's collapse—The Daily Beast presents the culture and technology that will boost your intelligence in 2011. []
ACC commends EPA rule that requires safety testing on 19 chemicals
New federal regulations will require producers and importers of 19 chemicals, including some used in personal care and consumer goods, to provide the public with information on the health and environmental implications of their products. The measure is supported by the American Chemistry Council, which sees the rule as an extension of an EPA program that urges voluntary reporting from chemical firms. "We think it's part of good product stewardship," said Scott Jenson, a spokesman for ACC.
Clubbed - by Peter Funt - Comment on the column
It was Groucho Marx who famously stated, "I would never belong to any club that would have me as a member."
Smart guy. If he were still around today Groucho would never find himself at the checkout counter fumbling through dozens of club cards. Of course for his obstinacy he'd have to pay exorbitant prices []
Shale gas production could benefit chemical industry, experts say - The abundance of shale natural gas in the U.S. is a boon for not only for the country's energy companies, but also for the chemical industry, writes analyst Sheena Martin. "We see a game-changer here with our ability to capitalize on what is estimated to be a 100-year supply of natural gas in shale deposits," said Cal Dooley, president and CEO of the American Chemistry Council. However, shale gas production still faces regulatory hurdles regarding hydraulic fracturing, along with limits on the infrastructure to process and transport the gas and its byproducts, Martin writes. ICIS Chemical Business (U.K.) []
Bayer CEO: U.S. can't neglect manufacturing - The secret to repairing America's manufacturing base could lie in the work of economist Angus Maddison and historian William Bernstein, writes Greg Babe, president and CEO of Bayer Corp. and Bayer MaterialScience. The framework Babe supports focuses on protecting "property rights, scientific rationalism, capital markets, and efficient transportation and communication." The Hill/Congress Blog []
James F. McClellan - - Does anybody know why people clamor to be told (and believe) a lie while consistently rejecting the truth? As in folks who believe that vaccines hurt their kids when, in fact, vaccines save thousands and thousands of lives.
Brody Hubbard - I was going through airport security and got asked "Do you have any firearms?" Apparently, "Sure. What do you need?" wasn't the right answer.
Bryan Clardy MD - patient interaction tip of the day- when told "my baby is breathing funny" do not reply with "funny ha ha or funny strange?"
Charles Roach - A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
Chuck Jackson - SUNDAY SCHOOL 1: It is all right to hate Brussels sprouts ; it is NOT all right to hate the farmer for growing them.

Chuck Jackson - SUNDAY SCHOOL 2. It is all right to hate Obamacare and insist vehemently on its repeal; it is NOT all right to hate BO and the socialist Democrats who crammed Obamacare down our gullets.

Chuck Jackson - SUNDAY SCHOOL 3. It is all right to hate exorbitant trillion-dollar deficits; it is NOT all right to hate BO and the Democrats who create these burdensome deficits in order to further their socialist agenda.

Chuck Jackson - SUNDAY SCHOOL 4. It is all right to hate the protracted war in Afghanistan; it is NOT all right to hate BO who routinely ignores advice from his commanders in the field.

Chuck Jackson - SUNDAY SCHOOL 5. It’s all right to hate foolishly extending the legal limit on the national debt without balancing the budget; it is NOT all right to hate BO and the Democrats who insist on this policy in order to further their socialist agenda.

Chuck Jackson - SUNDAY SCHOOL 6. It is all right to hate chronic unemployment between 9 and 10%; it is NOT all right to hate BO and the Democrats whose socialist policies aggravate this situation.

Chuck Jackson - Congressional Budget Office: garbage in - garbage out.
Daryl Cox - "I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself." ~ Ronald Reagan

Daryl Cox - "I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting." -Ronald Reagan

Daryl Cox - "It's true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance? " -Ronald Reagan
Gracie Lou Oliver Murphy
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
Greg Jones - “Do you think this Constitution-loving is getting out of hand?”
--Joy Behar

Greg Jones - I have heard more than enough anti-gun rhetoric from the politicians and media pundits whose pathological fear of inanimate objects is only surpassed by their fear of an armed citizenry.
Jodi Wreyford McClellan - The funniest thing I've heard in a long, long time: "There isn't a room in my entire house that doesn't look like a tornado came through it. I'm just going to pretend that it was a real tornado and be glad that we all survived" - I love you Heather
John Harden - - Read a very poignant statement while reading a book last night. "We are not sinners because we sin. We sin because we are sinners."
Mary Louise Brownlee Alexis - Ask God's blessing on your work, but don't ask him to do it for you. --Dame Flora Robson
Micah Garland - Grace is meant to be a power that takes away our excuses. Instead, we've made it an excuse that takes away our power.

Micah Garland - What did the judge said when the skunk walked in the courtroom? "Odor in the court!" Ahahahaha!
Mindy Jane Holt Morgan - Corny Pun Alert! A police officer called to local Daycare for a 3 year old resisting "a rest"! Lol
Nancee Davis Law - Holding on to resentment/anger/hatred is like taking a dose of poison every day and expecting the OTHER person to die. Forgiveness is for YOU, not THEM.

Nancee Davis Law - hi ho, hi ho, it’s off to work I go, cuz gas ain't cheap and I'll need to eat, hi ho hi ho

Nancee Davis Law - In case of Rapture, there will be no more status updates from me.

Nancee Davis Law - Don't let resentment toward another person steal your joy

Nancee Davis Law - in order to change things you may have stop looking at negative and think positive

Nancee Davis Law - As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools.

Nancee Davis Law
If your parents still drive you to school, you ain't no gangster so pull up your pants!!

Nancee Davis Law - I may not be perfect but Jesus thinks I'm to die for.
Norma Kay Rowe - Little Suzy was riding in the truck with her grandpa and said "Grandpa how do you know if someone's a Christian" "Well, Suzy - you see that animal there - what is that" . . .Suzy answers "it's a cow Grandpa". Grandpa says "well, Suzy, you know a cow because it looks like a cow, sounds like a cow and acts like a cow" . . . "same for a Christian".
Randall Maness - Doesn't make much sense, does it? Homeless go without eating. Elderly go without needed medicines. Mentally ill go without treatment. Troops go without proper equipment. Veterans go without benefits that were promised. Yet we donate billions to other countries before helping our own first.
Robert Lyons - LIBERALISM is attractive to so many people - Because it allows immature people to sit in their dirty diaper and cry about everything they perceive to be unfair and blame problems on everything but themselves...quoted from "Americans Against the Liberal Agenda."
Rosemary Cragan Dolliver - We must reject the idea that every time a law's broken, society is guilty rather than the lawbreaker. It is time to restore the American precept that each individual is accountable for his actions." - Ronald Reagan
Suzi Bennett Ingram - "The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past. We cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable.
I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. We are in charge of our ......Attitudes.” Charles Swindol

Suzi Bennett Ingram - Don't settle for a person that you hope will change.
Instead find the one you hope never will...

Suzi Bennett Ingram - Senior texting abbreviations~

ATD: At The Doctor's
BTW: Bring The Wheelchair
CBM: Covered By Medicare
...CUATSC: See You At The Senior Center
DWI: Driving While Incontinent
FWIW: Forgot Where I Was
FYI: Found Your Insulin
GHA: Got Heartburn Again
HGBM: Had Good Bowel Movement
OMMR: On My Massage Recliner
SGGP: Sorry, Gotta Go Poop
TTYL: Talk To You Louder
WAITT: Who Am I Talking To?
WTFA: Wet The Furniture Again

Want to add any???
Timothy Tackett - Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "In an emergency, notify:" - I always put "Paramedics"......

Timothy Tackett - If a woodchuck could chuck wood, how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could get welfare?
Vanessa McClellan Malone - I had to fight Ethan to get him out of the Elementary School this morning when we dropped Josiah off. Ethan argued that now that he is five he is supposed to go to kindergarten.

Vanessa McClellan Malone - “Public discourse and debate isn’t a sign of crisis, but of our enduring strength. It is part of why America is exceptional." - Sarah Palin
Our classmate, Chuck Jackson, lives in Chili, teaching English at the University of Santiago. Here are some of his memories of the massive earthquake they survived last year:

During this past week after the quake, I’d run into neighbors in our gated community, and we’d discuss our different situations. Invariably, the conversation would get down to
CHUCK: Yeah, I wasn’t able to get word to my mother and sisters that I was all right till Sunday noon.
NEIGHBOR: Your mother?
CHUCK: Yeah, she and my sisters live in Arkansas.
NEIGHBOR: Your mother is still living?
I don’t know how old these people down here think I am. They probably just look at my waist and figure I’m the same age as a tree of similar diameter.
by Chuck Jackson on Monday, January 17, 2011 at 9:47am

Carmen and a sister went back to Pelluhue last weekend to hire a truck and crew to haul furniture salvaged from the old beach house to Santiago: eight dining room chairs, various end tables, a couple of dressers, the mother of all vanity tables, several boxes of odds and ends, a nice closet.
The moving crew muscled the closet into a corner of our bedroom, and the rest was crowded into our living room. Carmen’s sister took a carload of smaller pieces and boxes to her house. She left a dresser to be moved when we could get a pickup. It was too big to cram into the back of our SUV.
By Monday morning, we had moved all the smaller pieces upstairs. In the living room remained two dressers and the mother of all vanity tables. Carmen came in Wednesday noon with a pickup and a driver to help me move her sister’s dresser out. The two large remaining pieces sat in the living room waiting for my son-in-law to come over the next Saturday and help me carry them upstairs.
Later Wednesday afternoon, I decided I was tired of those pieces in the living room and moved them upstairs ... by myself. I took the mother of all vanity tables first. Our stairs go up six or so feet, do a one-eighty, and then continue another six or so feet. I made it to the curve before I figured it was stop or have a heart attack. Wedged that sucker in the curve and laid down for an hour debating whether to leave it there till my son-in-law came Saturday.
Well, I lost that debate, grabbed the vanity and took it to the top. Did I leave the other piece to Saturday? Oh, no. I worked that enclosed chest of drawers upstairs, too.
Now, I’m not near so limber and maneuverable as back in the day, but I HAVE been blessed with ten times the obstinacy of a mule. I get it from my mother’s side of the family.
THE BEACH HOUSE - Some cousins have asked me if Carmen remembers the quake in Chile in 1960. Oh, yeah. She was a young girl at the time with her family at the dining table in their beach house in Pelluhue. When the quake began, the children started to get up and leave when her father said, "Sit down! I built this house, and its going nowhere." That tremor lasted twenty minutes. The house stood.
Carmen’s father was an architect in nearby Cauquenes. He designed and supervised the construction of that first beach house in Pelluhue. He set it out of the direct path of the ocean waves in case of tsunamis, and he built it to last. Chile had had a tremendous quake in the late 1930s that had dramatically altered the coastline in the far south, and architects thereafter designed accordingly.
The beach house was a two-story, six-bedroom, two-bath structure when I first saw it in 1990. A cabin had been added in the back yard - an office, a bedroom for the teenagers to use so they wouldn’t disturb their elders when returning from a night on the town, and a bathroom. We used the cabin for storage and a laundry. (Don’t think Maytag appliances, here - think a deep sink and flying elbows.)
The front of the house had a great room across the front with large glass panes, windows that hinged outward and a double door with glass panes. Señor de la Maza had ordered a table built that sat 10 commodiously, 12 comfortably, and 14 okay as long as you didn’t sit between two others that cut their meat elbows akimbo. (Fat chance.) The other end of the room held another dining room suite for six and odd chairs and tables around the walls. Furniture for the beach house had been bought at estate sales and was strong and serviceable and sometimes beautiful.
Over the years, Carmen and two of her sisters had bought out their other siblingś shares in the house. A lot of improvements were made in the last ten years. Paint, a new roof, new ceilings, a paved terrace in front, concrete steps leading to the street above in the back, new kitchen appliances, several new beds, etc.
The 8.8 quake on the 27th didn’t hurt the house. The 30-foot tsunami that followed smashed in the front ground-floor glass, rushed up the center stairs, blew out the back of the house, destroyed the cabin in back, and moved the 2nd floor of the beach house about a foot out of kilter off its base. From the beach, it doesn’t look that badly damaged, but it’s in bad shape and has been marked for mandatory demolition.
Carmen was in Pelluhue yesterday supervising the removal of furniture (none of it destroyed) from the upstairs bedrooms of the beach house and its storage until we can have it shipped to Santiago. She gave the beds to the woman who had collected rents for her whenever the house was rented out. She had two daughters whose houses had been destroyed.
CHILEAN BEACH BUNNIES - Before heading to the beach last February, I was again besought by some former high school classmates to take pictures of attractive young bikini-clad Chilean beach bunnies and post them on Face book. Having neither a camera nor the facility to use one, I refused.
Truth be told, Carmen has a camera. It has eight or nine thousand buttons on it, and she won’t let me play with it from memory of the disaster the one time I tried playing the living room stereo. In this digital era, the current generation considers me pretty much a Luddite.
However, I would have refused such a request from my former classmates were I the world’s greatest photographer. Not from any lack of subject matter, mind you. Chilean summer beaches have more than their fair share of attractive young women in bikinis. But whenever you see one, she’s invariably lying beside a beach towel covered with her identically attired five-foot one hundred eighty-pound mother. The conglomerate vista more than somewhat diminishes the daughter’s sex appeal. You don’t WANT to look at the mother just as you don’t WANT to look at a squirming nest of maggots on a piece of carrion, but the eye is inexplicably and perversely drawn to the sight.
What’s more, I am just too cowardly to walk up to a woman and say, "Excuse me, madam, but would you mind waddling aside and letting me photograph your daughter?" I doubt I could outrun her. As an experiment, I tried bribing little boys to make such an approach to the mother. To a soul, they each and every one refused CHILDHOOD FORTUNES in marbles, balloons, candy, and kites! No, my former classmates are just going to have to find some other sucker for this task.
WHERE I WAS - My house sits on a 20-inch thick reinforced concrete slab. Out of the edges of that slab extending upwards is rebar over which is laced formed brick such that two pieces of rebar pierce each 6"x11"x411 brick. Rebar extending through the top layer of brick is connected, and around that top rebar framework is poured an 8"x12" concrete cap. Two interior walls are the same. The second floor is pretty much standard wood frame construction. The roof is Spanish tile.
I won’t name names, but I suspect a few of you are of the opinion that I’m pretty full of myself. Friends, it aińt so - not when I have a wife that is not just smarter than me but BUNCHES smarter. It’s humbling. Carmen has nagged me for years NOT to leave the house during a temblor. She’s said that it was much safer inside than out. My reply had always been I wanted to be close by to dig her out.
However, her repetitive nagging finally took hold, and I stayed the first seventeen seconds of the quake on February 27, 2010. That’s how long it took the first of eight quart-jars of marbles I was using for bookends in the second-floor library to walk to the edge of a shelf and jump. When it busted, it made a NICE sound.
About a quarter of a second later, I was standing in my yard under a brilliant full moon watching our house bob around like a child’s wooden alphabet block on a bed of Jell-O. It was an 8.3 quake here in Santiago.
Come daylight, I looked around, and we hadn’t so much as a single crack in the interior or exterior of the PAINT! On the night of March 3, we had a 6.1 aftershock, and I didn’t even get out of bed. This house is solid.
MARISCADERO - In 1990, I stood on the balcony of our beach house in Pelluhue and looked around the curve of the bay across the river to a few lights in the forested sand hills there. Carmen told me that was Mariscadero, some eight to ten homes for shell fishermen.
Every February to 2010, we noticed more lights as the little community grew until there were more than 200 houses lit up at night like a little fairy wonderland across the bay. Over time, they had put up street lights. Had paved the streets in the last few years. Most of the houses were little beach cottages, but several were nice by anyone’s standards.
Newscasts showed Mariscadero after the tsunami on February 27, 2010. Every house save one had been leveled: that one didn’t look in bad condition except for the automobile insolently deposited in the roof. The lights are out in Mariscadero.
BEYONCE AT THE BEACH - The early part of February 2010, we were in Pelluhue, a small beach town a few hundred miles south of Santiago, Chile. All the news for few weeks had centered around the annual international music festival in Viña del Mar. The only three stars I recognized were Myriam Hernandez (a Chilean), Tom Jones, and Beyonce.
Jones had been invited the previous year as a second- or third-tier international singer and rocked the house. The old man still had a set of pipes on him. Consequently, he was invited back in 2010. There were pages and pages of pictures of Beyonce in all the papers. Which brings me to my little story
I was walking oĺ Tony along the sidewalk in front of our beach house about sunset when I noticed this young woman approaching. Her hair was pulled back in a bun, and she had on big sunglasses. She was wearing a blousy seersucker sun dress and a pair of gold-strapped sandals. Nothing unusual - until I realized it was Beyonce. On the beach in Pelluhue. In Pelluhue?
When she approached within about ten feet, I cocked my head to one side and said, "You’re a little far from home, aren’t you?" She looked away and took another step as if to walk right past me. Then she giggled, stopped, flashed me a brilliant smile and said, "Yeah, I guess I am." I asked her why in the world she was in Pelluhue of all places. She said she had asked her manager to find her a quiet place where she could get away from people and noise for a day and enjoy the beach. Without saying it was for her, he did so, and a local volunteered his beach house in Pelluhue for a few days. I told her to enjoy her stay and that I wouldn’t say anything about her being there till after she had left.
I walked on a few yards and was just turning to watch Beyonce walk away when a cool breeze came in through my balcony door and woke me with a shiver. I stepped onto the balcony and looked down at the sidewalk. No Beyonce. Just oĺ Tony sleeping in the sun. I returned to my bed and read another chapter in my shoot́em-up. After that, I took off my glasses and closed my eyes. Before drifting off to Nod again, I thought, "Just how would I address Tom Jones were he to come walking down the beach in Pelluhue? He’d probably be wearing a flowerdy beach shirt, some ...."
IN LIEU OF AN OPERA REVIEW THIS MONTH - by Chuck Jackson on Monday, January 17, 2011 at 11:50am - Scheduling conflict with a sister-in-law’s birthday caused me to miss this month’s opera. I offer the following as a substitute for my monthly review.
Married off a couple of Chileans last night. No church service, this was the real thing. Marriage by clergy isn’t legal in Chile. It’s not ILLEGAL, it’s just of no consequence outside the purview of the church. The government tried to arrest the Prophet of Peñalolen a few years ago on polygamy charges (married three sisters), but the only marriages they had had were by clergy.
Anyway, my wife’s office mate and former student got married off to another former student. The wedding was scheduled for 7:10. Now, that’s pretty specific. It’s not sevenish or somewhere around 7:30, it’s SEVEN TEN. We arrived at 7:05, and we were hurrying. We entered the hotel and sat down hurrying until 7:50.
Civil ceremony in a hotel, but the celebrants were accoutered like they’d stepped out of a bride’s magazine. He wasn’t wearing a tux, but it was something in that genre. You couldn’t find anything prettier on a Bridal Barbie than her dress.
The judge sentenced them, they departed somewhere, and the rest of us retired to the back of the room for drinks and a can of peas. I don’t know why they called it a can of peas when it was obviously a nice selection of finger foods and such.
After the waiters had passed amongst us eight or nine times with their trays, we descended to the hotel basement for supper. The setting was fifteen or so tables separated by a dance floor and a raised platform with tables full of more desserts than you’d likely find at a bakery. A bar was over in one corner, and a little garden area for smokers was behind that.
We found our assigned table. I attacked the bread and butter and drank my glass of champagne. The bride and groom reappeared with their fathers. The fathers made little speeches, and the second proposed a toast to the bride and groom. I borrowed a swig of my daughter’s champagne, it being unlucky to toast with an empty glass and all. The celebrants did a little waltz, and we all set down to eat.
The salads were good - mine and half my wife’s. The next plate was some kind of a creamed spinach crepe, and I liked that. The third plate was pork with puffy potatoes, broccoli, and some other kind of sliced vegetables in light gravy. Finished that off along with half my daughter’s. I had washed down the salad with white wine and progressed to the red stuff mixed with Coca Cola. Next, we were allowed to ascend the mount of desserts.
All through supper, waiters had been running hither and yon replenishing drinks to beat sixty. However, as they cleared away the dessert debris, they informed us that any further thirsts were to be addressed to the bar. Open bar, open all night, and the waiters were generous with their bottles.
Around 9:30, the disc jockey started up. No slow dances AT ALL, and the first pause came at 2:00 a.m. when the bride and groom cut the cake. At Southern State dances forty years ago, I paused only when the bands did. I pause more often these days, but I dance my share. Observers have noted that I’m exceptionally light on my feet for an elephant.
We danced a little more and then took out. Carmen had to get up sometime today in order to prepare a birthday celebration for a brother and a nephew this afternoon. The reception would have continued till dawn (literally), and we were some of the first to leave.
I can only stand about one or two of these a year.
AN ADDENDUM - by Chuck Jackson on Monday, January 17, 2011 at 11:08am
Can’t you just see that in a history book on western civilization? "The following afternoon, Xerses, Anaddendum, and Cicero were sitting in the plaza drinking coffee and discussing rumors of the brewing war."
Anyway, in reviewing my epistle on Chilean weddings, it struck me as how I gave short shrift to the actual church CEREMONY.
Scheduled to begin at eight p.m. of a Saturday night, the ceremony never starts before 8:45. The reason given for this is that the bride is never to appear anxious to get married - no matter how many months along she is. The actual reason for delaying the ceremony is to get the guests so tired of standing around that they’re thankful to get an opportunity to set for a spell.
The bride is attired in a huge white dress and has enough paint on her face to touch up a good-sized carousel. The effect brings to my mind a big dollop of whipped cream topped off with a marischino cherry. Yes, she looks delicious- uh beautiful.
The priest does drone on unmercifully. At first, you think the guests are enraptured by his oratory and nodding along with everything he says. It’s only after two or three of the guests actually bark a snore that you realize they’re suffering as much as you.
Back of every pew is a hinged step. Occasionally during the ceremony, the priest will cue the guests, and they’ll bang down the steps and kneel on them. (Not understanding the cue in Spanish, the first time this happened I was so startled I peed a little in my pants. Black suit - no one could tell.)
As a little reward for patience, the priest finally offers anyone who wants it a sip of wine. It’s all out of the same cup so several guests pass on this. What’s more, the priest keeps hold of the cup not allowing anyone to get a good gulp. One would have to suffer going through the line three or four times to get any kind of buzz at all.
Then, it’s off to the reception.
MEAGAŃS WEDDING - by Chuck Jackson on Monday, January 17, 2011 at 11:41am
What follows is my sister Sheliás account of our niece Meagańs 2009 wedding. I didn’t write this and can claim no credit for it. It touched my heart. Tears welled up in my eyes. I nearly messed my pants laughing so hard.
Petit Jean
Food Table and Last Minute Preparations
There are probably ten ice chests filled with cheese, grapes, strawberries, kiwi, pineapple, dips, grape juice, and ginger ale. Retta (my sister, the mother of the bride) doesn't want to get the tables set up yet because Meagan wasn't there. Mother and John arrive around then and Mother's got a couple of more ice chests and all of her decorative bowls, 78 punch cups, platters, doilies, candlesticks, etc. We get everything unloaded and unwrapped. I'm ready to start getting things on the table and set up, Mother's ready to get things on the table and set up, still no Meagan. MOTHER says (I love it when what Mother wants to do is what I want to do) ,"I say if Meagan's not here by 1:30, we make an Executive Decision (want to guess who the President is) on how to do the table." At 1:10, we began setting up the food tables. We get everything on the table, we have extra platters and bowls of stuff in my little corner in the back to "replace" things. Meagan shows up about 2:15 and says everything's beautiful and leaves. At 2:30, Retta says, "So long! I've got to go get dressed!" Now Lee's dad (father of the groom) arrived with the coffee maker (makes 8-10 cups). At 3:00 or so, there is still no wedding cake, and I'm a little concerned, so I ask Wayne about it, and he makes a call. Come to find out the woman thought the wedding was going to be in LONDON.
The Ceremony Chapter
We cross the "bridge" (two metal planks used to drive tractors and mowers onto trucks), and there THEY were...the first thought was that all 759 of Meagan's Face Book friends decided to come! Ten minutes later, we're still standing around, I see Sandra walking down the hill (must have been at the AMPHITHEATER). Well, not long after we look around and Retta's making great BIG gestures for Mother and Mrs. Zumwalt to go ahead and sit down. So, the usher seats Mother, Mrs. Zumwalt, and John. Moments later, Lee walks down and tells them they're going to be ushered down again. Lee tells another usher what to do and when, and Mrs. Zumwalt and Mother with John and me trailing, get seated again (me for the first time). Retta then is ushered and sits next to me. The bridesmaids and groomsmen proceed down the left side of the benches. "Hallelujah! Here she comes! All dressed in black. She's not coming back!" is being played softly over the speakers. Then comes Meagan with Wayne. She's gorgeous with her red hair flowing down, no veil, no sash, bare shoulders, and white dress. Wayne delivers her up the stage and then Danny starts to speak, can't, raises his finger, tries again, and then finally says, "Who gives this woman?" Wayne gets his line out just fine, kisses Meagan, shakes Lee's hand, and departs to sit next to Retta. I'm watching Meagan shake like a rattlesnake's tail from her shoulders all the way down to her toes...I mean her butt was even shaking to beat sixty (I was at the very front and had a good view), and then Danny's stumbling over every other word, repeating himself in some places, pausing, raising his finger up to gain his composure, starting again...the whole thing is painful to watch. Finally, Lee bends down and says into the mike, "Suck it up!" Then they bring out the rings. Bobby, Lee's little brother has one of them, and he digs down into the DEEP recesses of his inner jacket to pull it out from some SAFE spot he's put it in and hands it to Danny. Now, very few in the audience know this, but I'm listening to Danny talk about this RING and how Meagan's going to wear it from now on as a symbol of whatever love, etc., etc.. Now Mother said he said something about it being made of gold and how that material is strong, enduring, precious, etc., etc. I KNOW the rings are Retta and Wayne's rings and that they won't wear them any longer than that evening! Anyway, we get through the ceremony, Lee kisses Meagan, the audience claps, Danny introduces Mr. and Mrs. Lee Green, the audience claps again, the wedding party exits, and I high tail it for the RECEPTION in order to get ready for the MASSES!
Chapter Three: The Reception
So, I dash across the metal plank bridge and into the Reception Hall, quickly check the table, turn around, and there THEY, the MULTITUDES, the MASSES are...every seat filled, sitting and waiting. I say, "Go ahead and serve yourself." However, I didn't stand there for long! I mean trays started being emptied right and left! Nancy, Wayne's sister-in-law and Meagan (not the bride...I'll refer to her as MNB from now on) came over and were helping to restock food as I scurried back and forth with bowls and platters. Lee's dad made the first pot of coffee which I emptied into the server, but then I called on Aunt Hazel to make the second batch, and people were standing with coffee cups in their hands waiting for more coffee (people stood by the coffee server all night long waiting for the next pot). I realized that coffee was going to be in high demand (I think the hour or so in the "chilly" air made coffee drinkers out of a lot of people, and NO ONE asked me if it was decaffeinated...NO ONE cared). I was in survival and putting out fires mode. Out of coffee...go make coffee, out of cups...restock cups, out of get the idea. Punch! Made some more punch. THEN people start coming to me and asking me what to do with their dirty plates and glasses!! So, I said, "Just leave them on the table." However, here they came...more and more...dirty plates and cups, and well, what were the people who weren't at tables supposed to do? Bless Aunt Hazel and Aunt Sylvia, they start gathering them up, scraping them off, and making stacks. Aunt Sylvia asks me why not plastic and paper? I told her they were going green. She said she thought people would understand considering there wasn't a kitchen. I told her it wasn't my wedding. She said did they know trees were a renewable resource? I agreed and said it wasn't my wedding. More coffee, more plates, more cheese, more dip, more coffee, etc., etc. THEN this lady comes over and asks me where the ribbon for the cake was? Well, I certainly didn't know! It was probably in one of those bags, in one of those boxes, but I didn't tell her that, because I really didn't know. However, I learned later that Retta came over and saw this very plain white wedding cake (IT MADE IT! YEA!!!), and the lady told her that she was looking for ribbon to decorate it. THEN they ask me if there's a knife around to CUT the cake? I momentarily leave from behind the food tables and coffee corner to HUNT someone to serve, and I see MNB! She agrees to serve the wedding cake. Yea!!! However, what about plates? Oh no, PLATES for the CAKE! Then I remember the SAUCERS we didn't use for the coffee! Yippee! Things are kind of slowing down. So, I leave the back right corner where I've stationed myself all night (except for the 2 minutes I spent finding a server for the cake) and find Dr. Brown and Kathy King and mingle a little...I got a piece of wedding cake and sat down next to Dr. Brown and ate and then got a piece of the groom's cake (supper). Not long after this, Meagan and Lee make the announcement that they're leaving. Meagan and Lee come down the stairs; I'm at the end of the line...I get Meagan pretty good with the bird seed, and they drive off. So up the stairs I climb to start the CLEAN UP.

They drive off, and we re-enter the Reception Hall to clean up. All the serving dishes have to be rinsed and stacked in groups of 25 in these little crates. The men begin taking down tables and hauling chairs to the Uhaul. Mother (in her formal gown) and Retta start out putting up the food, I begin with a crate trying to find all of Mother's punch cups, MNB begins bringing dishes into the women's bathroom to be rinsed, and Kathy King start rinsing off dishes. There are three small sinks in the women's bathroom. As soon as Mother finishes with the food, she mans one sink, Kathy mans another, and MNB mans the third. As soon as I count 25 plates, I crate them up and start again. Four more of the little 25 plate crates were filled...50 more plates to go. I found a crate of unopened punch cups under the table. It was after 8:00 when I told Kathy King she really needed to go on, and we REALLY appreciated her helping us. I think MNB stayed until the last dish was rinsed. Mother and John left about 8:45. Lee's family left sometime between 8 and 8:30. Retta, Wayne, Kenneth, and I finished up and locked the door of the recreational building around 9:00. It's about 10:00 when I get home. Retta and Wayne get in, we all talk just a little while...Wayne takes Alleive for his knees and feet, I take ibuprofen for my back, and Retta takes it for her butt; I think we're getting old.
And they all lived happily ever after!

Thanks to Chuck Jackson

With all the problems the World is facing, it can be unsettling to the mind. Today, I will share with you ten predictions that are true!

1. The Bible will still have all the answers.

2. Prayer will still be the most powerful thing on Earth..

3. The Holy Spirit will still move.

4. God will still honor the praises of His people.

5. There will still be God-anointed preaching.

6. There will still be singing of praise to God.

7. God will still pour out blessings upon His people.

8. There will still be room at the Cross.

9. Jesus will still love you.

10. Jesus will still save the lost when they come to Him.

Isn't it great To Remember Who Is Really In Control, and that; "the Word of the Lord endures forever." ( 1 Peter 1:25 )

I hope you found this encouraging! I sure did. Sometimes we need the reminder of just "WHO" is really in control. Till the nets are full, keep on fishing.

Thanks to Ron Huett & Norma Kay Rowe

Slow Cooked Italian Chicken with Noodles []

Classic Chicken Paprika []

Chicken Chili with Black Beans and Corn []

Cozy Spiced Beef and Apple Ragout []

Roasted Pork Tenderloin with Rosemary-Thyme Vegetables []

Cajun Slow Cooker Chicken with Sausage []
~~~~~ - - Sleeping Bags Zip Up Kindness - Why are thousands of volunteers stitching sleeping bags for the needy? It all started with the kind act of one homeless man on a cold New York City night. Watch Video []

Dryer Lint Inspires Artist - One person's trash and fuzz is another's inspiring art supply. See what one Michigan housewife created after doing everyday chores. Watch Video []
America is not at war. The military is at war. - - America is at the mall, or watching the movie stars. []
Each week the Defense Department highlights military personnel who have gone above and beyond in the war. [] - - Anthony Henderson - Awarded: The Bronze Star with ‘Valor’ -
For Lieutenant Colonel Anthony Henderson, it was a lifetime of service and professional development in the U.S. Marine Corps that prepared him to command 1,200 Marines in southern Afghanistan and engage in the most vicious combat fighting he had ever seen.

"Your preparations for those types of moments span your entire career," said Henderson. "At 18 years of education and training, it's what prepared me to listen and learn."

Just two months into his deployment in southern Helmand Province, Henderson, who was the Commander of 1st Battalion, 6th Marine Division, was tasked to devise a combat plan to overrun a historic Taliban stronghold in the Gamshir area known as the Jugroom Fort. Jugroom Fort was a 19th century British fort, built out of mud, which spanned five kilometers and was surrounded by tunnels, machine-gun bunkers, minefield and IEDs. It was typically defended by 200-400 Taliban fighters at any given point in time.

"It was a very complex attack. We had forces moving by land and air - plus we were coordinating with the British forces," said Henderson.

The mission began on April 28, 2008, and for the next month, there were several sustained battles as the ISAF forces slowly closed in on the area. The major combat operation commenced on May 28, 2008. Henderson led his Battalion to the southern end of Fort Jugroom, while still keeping his eye on the overall battle plan.

As Henderson's Battalion approached the Fort, the enemy began firing on the rear echelon trucks, essentially closing them in between the Fort and enemy fire. Henderson decided to push his men into the interior area of the Fort to engage directly with the enemy.

"Marines had to physically get the Taliban out of the Fort and it was the most vicious fighting I had ever seen," reflected Henderson. "The enemy had defensive positions in and outside the Fort, and grenades and rocket fire were exchanged between 10, 20 and 30 meters."

"There were fighters and Marines all over the place. The enemy was around everyone and everyone was around the enemy."

At this point, Henderson's men and the other one thousand Marines fighting at Fort Jugroom had been awake for two whole days with temperatures reaching 110 degrees. With 3-4-foot wheat fields surrounding the Fort, Henderson knew that fighting into the night would be dangerous - from the threat of enemy attacks and the heat.

"I grew up on a farm and I knew that wheat fields collect extreme heat. I had to make a decision that would result in the least amount of casualties," reflected Henderson.

As the firefight subsided, the Marines retreated to nearby shelter. However, the next day, intelligence reports indicated that the enemy was packing up and heading toward the Pakistani border. It became a major victory for the ISAF forces and Henderson's Marines.

"We spent the next two weeks clearing the Fort and the surrounding villages where the Taliban had stocked weapons and ammunition," said Henderson. "For them, Jugroom was the final defense and there was nothing left to defend."
Henderson's tour in Afghanistan lasted six more months after the battle for Jugroom Fort. Two years later, he is stationed with the Joint Chiefs Regional Operations Staff in Washington, D.C., and Henderson can only wish to be back in Afghanistan.

"It's humbling and fulfilling to lead Marines," reflected Henderson. "I have a constant yearning to be back there and amongst them."
The latest from Michael Yon, the foremost “milnews” blogger on the web.

Happy New Year!

For 2011, will try a different approach to war dispatches. There are many obstacles to publishing timely dispatches, one of which is editors. We spend too much time back and forth. And so, in 2011, I'll try something called "Letters," or "Photo-Letters." Letters will be unedited. Just raw communications from me to you. Photo-Letters, as you might imagine, will be Letters with photos.

The first Photo-Letter is up: The Jungle Twins []
We had a minor malfunction with the website yesterday. Luckily, we aren't rocket scientists because their minor malfunctions are more spectacular. Any case, the site is working again.

There is an article about my work in a paper today. Great quote from General Petraeus that I will have to run with! Also, if you have not seen the photos of the elephants, it's probably worth your time. I loved going out with the elephants.

Please click through. []
Just a quick photo around a lake in Florida. Thousands of birds out here. Y'all come on down! []
The Marines are slugging it out in Helmand. Best I can tell, they are making progress. Am not yet in Afghanistan, so cannot see for myself. Nevertheless, I've picked out a dozen old dispatches that I wrote during embeds with British forces in places like Sangin, the most dangerous area in Afghanistan. This is a good time to republish those dispatches. I believe the Marines can tame that hell hole.

Please see Death in the Corn, Part 1 []
For an idea of the area where some US Marines are fighting in Helmand, please see this dispatch. The corn is not up now due to winter, but this is the general area of fighting. []
This dispatch covering British forces describes an area where US Marines are fighting today. Brutal area.

An increasing number of reports from Afghanistan indicate the Marines are making progress.

Please read Death in the Corn Part III []
Sangin is today the most dangerous area of Afghanistan. This mission was with British forces. Today the US Marines are operating here.

Please read NO YOUNG SOLDIERS. []

Very Respectfully,
Michael Yon
Your Writer,

Please remember that this website accepts no advertisement and is dependent on your support.

PS Please sign up for my updates at "Michael_Yon" [] (not Michael Yon).
If you would like to encourage US Troops overseas, but are not sure just how to begin, visit for ideas.
Cinema, Video / TV We’ve Recently Watched:
Amazing Stories:
The Santa Clause 3
Desk Set
The Ranger, the Cook, & a Hole in the Sky
Topper Returns
Ball of Fire
Going My Way
Life With Father
My Man Godfrey
When We Left Earth: Ordinary Supermen (6 episodes)
Hubble's Amazing Rescue: NOVA
The Inn of the Sixth Happiness
The Money Pit
The Ambassador's Daughter
Paper Books We’ve recently read:

American heroes in special operations / Oliver North.
American assassin / Vince Flynn.
Nowhere to run / C.J. Box.
The Athena project : a thriller / by Brad Thor.
No legal grounds / by James Scott Bell.
Space shuttle : the history of the National Space Transportation System : the first 100 missions / Dennis R. Jenkins.
The outlaws, bk.6 / by W.E.B. Griffin and William E. Butterworth IV.
The knight, bk.3 / Steven James.
Kindle books we recently read:

Deadly Sanctuary - Sylvia Nobel
Photos on the front of this week’s “Bleat” include - - The L&NW motoring south from McNeil, AR, Last Winter north Dudney road and the water tower across from Amigo Juan, our neighbor’s fall foliage
We’ve now got several addresses on the web for "Da Bleat." For the latest issue, go to
Our photos are posted at
Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
Recipe(s) - - Best-Ever Chili []

prep time 5 min
total time 20 min
makes 4 servings, about 1 cup each

What You Need
½ lb. extra-lean ground beef
1 tsp. chili powder
1 can (15 oz.) no-salt-added kidney beans, drained
1 can (14.5 oz.) fire-roasted tomatoes, undrained
1 cup TACO BELL® HOME ORIGINALS® Thick 'N Chunky Salsa
½ cup KRAFT 2% Milk Shredded Sharp Cheddar Cheese
1/4 cup BREAKSTONE'S Reduced Fat or KNUDSEN Light Sour Cream

Make It

BROWN meat with chili powder in large skillet on medium-high heat.

STIR in beans, tomatoes and salsa. Bring to boil. Cover; simmer on medium heat 10 min., stirring occasionally.

SERVE topped with cheese and sour cream.

Kraft Kitchens Tips
Substitute 1 cup frozen BOCA Ground Crumbles for the browned ground beef.
Special Extra
Sprinkle with chopped fresh cilantro or green onions just before serving.

nutritional information per serving

Calories 280
Total fat 7 g
Saturated fat 4 g
Cholesterol 50 mg
Sodium 840 mg
Carbohydrate 31 g
Dietary fiber 7 g
Sugars 9 g
Protein 24 g
Vitamin A 25 %DV
Vitamin C 30 %DV
Calcium 25 %DV
Iron 20 %DV

Healthy Living Information
Good source of fiber
Low fat
Low calorie
Carb Choices: 2
Diet Exchange
1-1/2 Starch + 2 Vegetable + 2 Meat (L) + ½ Fat
Nutrition Bonus
The beans in this low-calorie, low-fat chili are a good source of fiber.
BreakPoint - - Brave and Important? - - Art Designed to Offend
By: Chuck Colson | Published: January 21, 2011 12:00 AM

The Museum of Modern Art in New York and the brave, indefatigable supporters of artistic freedom have saved the day.

Chuck Colson

Late last year, the National Portrait Gallery hosted an exhibit entitled "Hide/Seek: Difference and Desire in American Portraiture." Cutting through the euphemistic title, the Washington Post said the exhibit “surveys how same-sex love has been portrayed in art.”

As part of the exhibit, the Portrait Gallery, which receives federal funds, displayed a video entitled “Fire in my belly” by the late artist and AIDS activist David Wojnarowicz. Part of the video depicted a crucifix—that is, Jesus on the Cross—with ants crawling all over it.

Well, the Catholic League and several conservative members of Congress were none too pleased that U.S. government funds were in part responsible such an outrageously offensive display—and let the Portrait Gallery know it.

Portrait Gallery Director Martin Sullivan saw the wisdom of removing the video. Sullivan told the Washington Post that the video had become a distraction. "We don't want to shy away from anything that is controversial, but we want to focus on the museum's and this show's strengths." So the video was taken off display.

Good. Well, predictably, the arts community went nuts, crying “censorship,” and “insanity,” and accused the Portrait Gallery of “caving in” by disrupting such a “brave and important” exhibit.

Important? Well, if ridiculing the death of Christ and offending the faith of billions is important, then I guess this was important.

Brave? Hardly. The easiest thing an artist or playwright or movie producer can do these days in the West is mock Christianity and our God.

You want bravery? How about a museum displaying a similar video depicting Mohammad? Now that would be brave, on top of offensive and foolish.

The security costs for protecting the museum from outraged Muslims would be huge. And no artist would dare be so quote un-quote “brave” as to put his name on a piece of art that mocked Islam’s prophet.

Have you heard recently from the young woman who wanted to start “Everybody Draw Mohammad Day?” Of course not. She’s changed her name and gone into hiding. It’s a shame the art critics wouldn’t stand up for her right to be bold and important.

Or how do you think a museum’s patrons would react to a video of ants crawling all over a dead gay activist? They’d be furious. And they’d be right to be furious.

Of course this is a free society. We believe in free speech. We believe in artistic freedom. But we don’t believe the government has any business supporting those museums or media that display material patently designed to offend Christians or anyone else.

But if you’re a big fan of offensive art, I’ve got good news for you. The Modern Museum of Art in New York—to the sound of hosannas and huzzahs—has boldly and bravely purchased the video and will have it on display. Next time you’re in the Big Apple, you’re free to stop by and take a look.

But you’ll have to pay the museum’s $20 entrance fee yourself—no federal funds, I’m glad to say. And the only thing you’ll offend is your own sense of good taste and propriety.
Further Reading and Information

Ant-covered Jesus video removed from Smithsonian after Catholic League complaints
Jacqueline Trescott | The Washington Post | December 1, 2010 []

Smithsonian Caves to GOP Pressure, Removes Ant-Covered Jesus Video
Kyle Chayka | Hyperallergic | December 01, 2010 []

Copyright © 2010 Prison Fellowship. All Rights Reserved _ _
Residents of Columbia County, Arkansas are represented in Congress by:
Senator John Boozman (R_ AR)
Senator Mark Pryor (D_ AR)
Phone 202_224_2353
FAX 202_228_0908
Representative Michael A. Ross (D _ 04)
Phone 202_225_3772
FAX 202_225_1314
Other states congresspersons can be found at: []
Words of the Day: homograph \ HOM-uh-graf \ , noun;
A word of the same written form as another but of different meaning, whether pronounced the same way or not.
"Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man." - Benjamin Franklin

"I've continued to recognize the power individuals have to change virtually anything and everything in their lives in an instant. I've learned that the resources we need to turn our dreams into reality are within us, merely waiting for the day when we decide to wake up and claim our birthright." - Anthony Robbins

"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"The key to successful leadership today is influence, not authority." - Kenneth Blanchard

"Probably nothing in the world arouses more false hopes than the first four hours of a diet." - Samuel Beckett

"If you can't change your fate, change your attitude." - Amy Tan

"It's not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives. It's what we do consistently." - Anthony Robbins

"Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting." - Elizabeth Bibesco

"There is only one success - to be able to spend your life in your own way." - Christopher Morley

"People always call it luck when you've acted more sensibly than they have." - Anne Tyler

"If you foolishly ignore beauty, you will soon find yourself without it. Your life will be impoverished. But if you invest in beauty, it will remain with you all the days of your life." - Frank Lloyd Wright

"Take up one idea. Make that one idea your life - think of it, dream of it, live on idea. Let the brain, muscles, nerves, every part of your body, be full of that idea, and just leave every other idea alone. This is the way to success." - Swami Vivekananda

"Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself." - William Faulkner

"Never give up on what you really want to do. The person with big dreams is more powerful than one with all the facts." - Albert Einstein

"Happiness is not a goal; it is a by-product." - Eleanor Roosevelt

"The major reason for setting a goal is for what it makes of you to accomplish it. What it makes of you will always be the far greater value than what you get." - Jim Rohn

"Never regret. If it's good, it's wonderful. If it's bad, it's experience." - Eleanor Hibbert

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, 'I will try again tomorrow.' " - Mary Anne Radmacher

"Even the smallest victory is never to be taken for granted. Each victory must be applauded, because it is so easy not to battle at all, to just accept and call that acceptance inevitable." - Audre Lorde

"Patience and time do more than strength or passion." - Jean de LaFontaine

"You may easily play a joke on a man who likes to argue -- agree with him." - Edgar Watson Howe

Never Before Seen Phenomenon Shows Thunderstorms on Earth Hurling Anti-matter into Space
News Release (Jan 17, 2011)
"These signals are the first direct evidence that thunderstorms make antimatter particle beams."
Read Full Story []
Text of President Obama's Proclamation for Religious Freedom Day
Dan Wooding (Jan 18, 2011)
"On Religious Freedom Day, let us reflect on the principle of religious freedom that has guided our Nation forward, and recommit to upholding this universal human right both at home and around the world."
Read Full Story []
Husband and Arizona Shooting Victim Who Showed "greater love" by Shielding His Wife from Gunfire—and other Heroes
Aimee Herd (Jan 11, 2011)
"He was a hero."
Read Full Story []
PRAYER ALERT: Horrific Flooding in Australia Worsens—Some 200,000 Affected
Aimee Herd (Jan 12, 2011)
"I think the entire city of Brisbane, the Ipswich region and most of the south-east, needs to prepare ourselves for enormous disruption."
Read Full Story []
A YouTube Vocal Keeper from 2010—Jackie Evancho, the Little Girl with a Huge Voice
Aimee Herd (Jan 3, 2011)
"If they have a dream, they should always go for it because that's what happened to me and my dream came true."
Read Full Story []
Indian Rescue Mission's Recent Rescue of a Minor Girl, Helps Indian Police Uncover an International Trafficking Racket
Jacob Philip-Assistant Correspondent for BCN in India (Jan 3, 2011)
"If a man has a hundred sheep and one of them wanders away, what will he do? Won't he leave the ninety-nine others on the hills and go out to search for the one that is lost? And if he finds it, I tell you the truth, he will rejoice over it more than over the ninety-nine that didn't wander away! In the same way, it is not My heavenly Father's will that even one of these little ones should perish." –Matt. 18:12-14
Read Full Story []

310 2nd Ave SE
Albany, Oregon 97321
US Orders: 1_866_358_7426
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GCF: Chemical Properties

Chemistry Professor: When water becomes ice, which of its properties increases?

Student: Its price
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: Waterproofing

The telephone solicitor selling basement waterproofing must have thought she'd died and gone to heaven when she got my very patient son on the phone.

At the end of her very long sales pitch, she asked, "Do you mind if we send someone out to give you an estimate?"

"Not at all," my son said.

"When would be a good time?"

"As soon as I dig a basement," he replied.
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: I Love You

I took a couple of minutes from work to give my wife a call. She put my two-year-old son on, and we chatted a while before he ended it with an enthusiastic "I love you!"

"I love you too," I said, with a dopey grin plastered on my face. I was about to hang up when I heard him ask sweetly, "Mommy, who was that?"
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: Driving Test

Ditzy friend: "I failed the driving test. I entered the traffic circle and the sign said '30' so I drove 30 times around."

The other one says sympathetically, "You probably counted wrong."
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: First Aid

"How come you're late?" asks the bartender as the waitress walks in the door.

"It was awful," she explains. "I was walking down Elm street and there was this terrible accident. A man was lying in the middle of the street; he was thrown from his car. His leg was broken, his skull was fractured, and there was blood everywhere. Thank goodness, I took that first aid course -- all my training came back to me in a flash."

"What did you do?" asks the bartender.

"I sat down and put my head between my knees to keep from fainting!"
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: New Grandson

After receiving the news that our son had been born, both sets of grandparents arrived at the hospital together. Just getting out of the car was quite an ordeal since all four were in various stages of recovery from knee operations and hip replacements. As the foursome hobbled towards the hospital entrance, brandishing canes and walkers, my mother quipped, "Mercy! I hope they don't admit us before we get to the maternity ward."
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: Military Chat

During the second Gulf War, I was an Air Force colonel. I routinely flew on different aircraft to familiarize myself with their capabilities. One day I was aboard an intelligence aircraft where each crew member was surrounded by complex gear.

A young airman showed me his computer screen. "That's a chat screen, Sir," the airman said. "We use it to relay enemy information to the crew. It's like instant messaging."

Nodding, I moved down the line. Flashing on an airman's screen several feet away was this warning: "Heads up! The colonel's on the way!"
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: Crate of Chickens

The farmer's son was returning from the market with the crate of chicken's his father had entrusted to him, when all of a sudden the box fell and broke open. Chickens scurried off in different directions, but the determined boy walked all over the neighborhood scooping up the wayward birds and returning them to the repaired crate. Hoping he had found them all, the boy reluctantly returned home, expecting the worst.

"Pa, the chickens got loose," the boy confessed sadly, "but I managed to find all twelve of them."

"Well, you did real good, son," the farmer beamed. "You left with seven."
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: Your Skin

A grade school teacher was grading a science test on the human body, The first question was, "Name one of the major functions of your skin."

One child had written: "To keep people who look at you from throwing up."
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: At the Vet's Office

One day at the veterinarian's office where I take my cat, a man and the receptionist were verbally sparring. After a few moments a technician came to her co-worker's defense. "Sir," she interjected, "do you know what happens to aggressive males in this office?"
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: Metric System

Despite never having adopted the metric system for day-to-day use, Americans are familiar with the basic units, like grams, kilograms, meters and such. But when it comes to lesser known units we're clueless. To help the educational process along a bit ...

* 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope

* Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi

* 2,000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton

* Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond

* 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Serling

* Half of a large intestine = 1 semicolon

* 1,000,000 aches = 1 megahurtz

* Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarsepower

* Shortest distance between two jokes = 1 straightline

* 453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake

* 1 million-million microphones = 1 megaphone

* 2 million bicycles = 2 megacycles

* 2000 mockingbirds = 2 kilomockingbirds

* 52 cards = 1 decacards

* 1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 FigNewton

* 1,000 milliliters of wet socks = 1 literhosen

* 1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche

* 10 rations = 1 decoration

* 100 rations = 1 C-ration

* 4 nickels = 2 paradigms

* 2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing
at Yale University Hospital = 1 IV League
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: Exercise

I always do my exercises regularly in the morning. Immediately after waking I sternly say to myself, "Ready, now. Up. Down. Up. Down." And after two strenuous minutes I tell myself, "Okay, now try the other eyelid."
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: Yard Sale

I was at a yard sale one day and saw a box marked "Electronic cat and dog caller -- guaranteed to work." I looked inside and was amused to see an electric can opener.
_ ____________________________ _
/ )| Thomas S. Ellsworth |( \
/ / | | \ \
_( (_ | | _) )_
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Cats know your every thought. \ /
\ _/ They don't care, \_ /
/ / but they know... \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / If you think health care is \ /
\ _/ expensive now, wait until you \_ /
/ / see what it costs when it's free! \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Some people not only have \ /
\ _/ bad luck ... they're carriers. \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / English is strange: \ /
\ _/ When you "run out" of something, \_ /
/ / you "run out" to get more. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Sometimes the majority only \ /
\ _/ means that all the fools \_ /
/ / are on the same side. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / A truly happy person \ /
\ _/ is one who can enjoy \_ /
/ / the scenery on a detour. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / If Walmart is lowering prices \ /
\ _/ every day, how come nothing \_ /
/ / in the store is free yet? \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / There are only two things \ \_/ ////
\ / a child will share willingly: \ /
\ _/ communicable diseases \_ /
/ / and his mother's age. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / To be intoxicated is to \ /
\ _/ feel sophisticated but not \_ /
/ / be able to say it. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Brain cells come \ /
\ _/ and brain cells go, \_ /
/ / but fat cells live forever. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / A computer DOES save time \ \_/ ////
\ / at work. Now I can play \ /
\ _/ solitaire without having to spend \_ /
/ / all that time shuffling real cards. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Problems with Math? \ /
\ _/ Please Call \_ /
/ /1-800-[(10x)(ln(13e))]-[sin(xy)/2.362x]\ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / The sooner you fall behind, \ /
\ _/the more time you have to catch up.\_ /
/ / \ \
_ ____________________________ _
/ )| Thomas S. Ellsworth |( \
/ / | | \ \
_( (_ || _) )_
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_| ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.

In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,

'Before you tell that joke, cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously, cowboy. Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?'

The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, 'No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.'

Thanks to the hammocks
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A True Sharing Marriage....

The old man placed an order for one hamburger, French fries and a drink.

He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing one half in front of his wife.

He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.

He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them.
As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them were looking over and whispering.

Obviously they were thinking, "that poor old couple - all they can afford is one meal for the two of them."

As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table and politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man said, they were just fine - they were used to sharing everything.

People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite.
She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.
Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them.
This time the old woman said "No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything."

Finally, as the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked "What is it you are waiting for?"



Thanks to Ron Huett
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SORRY!! I just HAD to send this one on!! Rolling on the floor laughing

AP Wire- Raleigh , NC - Jeff Gordon announced today that he was firing his entire pit crew. This announcement followed Gordon's decision to take advantage of President Obama's scheme to employ Harlem youngsters. The decision to hire them was brought about by a recent documentary on how unemployed youths from Harlem were able to remove a set of wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment, whereas Gordon's existing crew could only do it in 8 seconds with thousands of dollars worth of high tech equipment.
It was thought to be an excellent and bold move by Gordon's management team, as most races are won or lost in the pits.
However, Gordon got more than he bargained for.
At the crew's first practice session, not only was the inexperienced crew able to change all 4 wheels in under 6 seconds, but within 12 seconds they had changed the paint scheme, altered the VIN number, and sold the car to Dale Earnhardt Jr. for 10 cases of Bud, a bag of weed, and some photos of Jeff Gordon's wife in the shower.

Thanks to Gary Foreman
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How to Quit Smoking

Peter, at a New Year's party, turns to his friend, Ken, and asks for a cigarette.

"I thought you made a New Year's resolution to quit smoking," Ken responds.

"I'm in the process of quitting," replies Peter with a grin. "Right now, I am in the middle of phase one."

"Phase one?" wonders Ken.

"Yeah," laughs Peter, "I've quit buying."


The Avon Lady

My friend Bev and her husband were reshingling their roof. As soon as they started, they realized they needed more supplies, so Bev grabbed the checkbook, jumped into her car, and drove the 45 miles to the nearest lumberyard.

After gathering the items she needed, Bev went up to the cashier and wrote a check. "I really need to see a photo ID," the clerk said.

"I don't have one on me," Bev replied.

The cashier called over the manager, who examined the check. Then the manager looked up and asked Bev, "Who is the Avon lady in your town?"

Puzzled, Bev responded, "Maxine Thompson."

"Take her check," the smiling manager said to the cashier. "Maxine is my grandmother."

Received from Ed.


Standing Watch

While standing watch in the Coast Guard station in Juneau, Alaska, I got a call from the Navy in the city of Adak. They had lost contact with one of their planes, and they needed the Coast Guard to send an aircraft to go find it.

I asked the man where the Navy aircraft had last been spotted so we would know where to search.

"I can't tell you," the Navy man said. "That's classified."

- from Alfred Miles (via Reader's Digest)

Received from Doc's Daily Chuckle.


Bless Your Little Southern Heart

Someone once noted that a Southerner can get away with the most awful kind of insult just as long as it's prefaced with the words "Bless her heart" or "Bless his heart." As in, "Bless his heart, if they put his brain on the head of a pin, it'd roll round like a BB on a six-lane highway." Or, "Bless her heart, she's so bucktoothed, she could eat an apple through a picket fence." There are also the sneakier ones that I remember from tongue-clucking types of my childhood: "You know, it's amazing that even though she had that baby seven months after they got married, bless her heart, it weighed 10 pounds!" As long as the heart is sufficiently blessed, the insult can't be all that bad, at least that's what my Great-Aunt Tiny (bless her heart, she was anything but) used to say.

I was thinking about this the other day when a friend was telling me about her new Northern friend who was upset because her toddler is just beginning to talk and he has a Southern accent. My friend, who is very kind and, bless her heart, cannot do a thing about those thighs of hers, so don't even start, was justifiably miffed about this. After all, this woman had CHOSEN to move south a couple of years
ago. "Can you believe it?" she said to my friend. "A child of mine is going to be taaaallllkkin' a-liiiike thiiiissss." I can think of far worse fates than speaking Southern for this adorable little boy, who, bless his heart, must surely be the East Coast king of mucus. I wish I'd been there. I would have said that she shouldn't fret, because there is nothing so sweet or pleasing on the ear as a soft, Southern drawl. Of course, maybe we shouldn't be surprised at her "carryings on." After all, when you come from a part of the world where "family silver" refers to the large medallion around Uncle Vinnie's neck, you just have to, as Aunt Tiny would say, "consider the source."

Now don't get me wrong. Some of my dearest friends are from the North, bless their hearts. I welcome their perspective, their friendships, and their recipes for authentic Northern Italian food. I've even gotten past their endless complaints that you can't find good bread down here. The ones who really gore my ox are the native Southerners who have begun to act almost embarrassed about their speech. It's as if they want to bury it in the "Hee Haw" cornfield. We've already lost too much. I was raised to swanee, not swear, but you hardly ever hear anyone say that anymore, I swanee you don't. And I've caught myself thinking twice before saying something is "right much," "right close," or "right good" because non-natives think this is right funny indeed. I have a friend from Bawston who thinks it's hilarious when I say I've got to "carry" my daughter to the doctor or "cut off" the light. That's OK. It's when you have to explain things to people who were born here that I get mad as a mule eating bumble-bees.

Not long ago, I found myself trying to explain to a native Southerner what I meant by being "in the short rows." I'm used to explaining that expression (it means you've worked right smart but you're almost done) to newcomers to the land of buttermilk and cold collard sandwiches (better than you think), but to have to explain it to a Southerner was just plain weird.

The most grating example is found in restaurants and stores where nice, Magnolia-mouthed clerks now say "you guys" instead of "y'all," as their mamas raised them up to say. I'd sooner wear white shoes in February, drink unsweetened tea, and eat Miracle Whip instead of Duke's than utter the words "you guys." Not long ago, I went to lunch with four women friends, and the waiter, a nice Southern boy, you-guys-ed all of us within an inch of our lives. "You guys ready to order? What can I get for you guys? Would you guys like to keep you guys' forks?" Lord, have mercy.

It's a little comforting that, at the very same time some natives are so eager to blend in, they've taken to making microwave grits (an abomination), the rest of the world is catching on that it's cool to be Clampett. How else do you explain NASCAR tracks and Krispy Kreme doughnut franchises springing up like yard onions all over the country?

To those of you who're still a little embarrassed by your Southernness, take two tent revivals and a dose of redeye gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart.

Received from FranCMT2.


A Man of Few Words

Once upon a time there was a prince who, through no fault of his own, was cast under a spell by an evil witch. The curse was that the prince could speak only one word each year. However, he could save up the words so that if he did not speak for a whole year, the following year he was allowed to speak two words.

One day he met a beautiful princess (ruby lips, golden hair, sapphire eyes) and fell madly in love. With the greatest difficulty he decided to refrain from speaking for two whole years so that he could look at her and say, "My darling." But at the end of the two years he wished to tell her that he loved her. Because of this he waited three more years without speaking (bringing the total number of silent years to five).

But at the end of these five years he realized that he had to ask her to marry him. So he waited ANOTHER four years without speaking.

Finally as the ninth year of silence ended, his joy knew no bounds. Leading the lovely princess to the most secluded and romantic place in that beautiful royal garden the prince heaped a hundred red roses on her lap, knelt before her, and taking her hand in his, said huskily, "My darling, I love you! Will you marry me?"

The princess tucked a strand of golden hair behind a dainty ear, opened her sapphire eyes in wonder, and parting her ruby lips, said: "Pardon?"

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.


Tag Sale

At their tag sale, my daughters put all of the "junk" they just wanted to get rid of in a carton they marked "Free Box."

Moments after they set it at the foot of the driveway, a man drove up, looked at the box, dumped its contents on the lawn, and drove off with it.

-- from Reader's Digest, "Life in These United States," by Henrietta Smith

Received from Doc's Daily Chuckle.



A doctor goes out and buys the best car on the market, a brand new Ferrari GTO. It is also the most expensive car in the world, and it costs him $500,000.

He takes it out for a spin and stops at a red light.

An old man on a Moped, looking about 100 years old, pulls up next to him. The old man looks over at the sleek shiny car and asks, "What kind of car ya got there, sonny?"

The doctor replies, "A Ferrari GTO. It cost half a million dollars!"

"That's a lot of money," says the old man. "Why does it cost so much?"

"Because this car can do up to 250 miles an hour!" states the doctor proudly.

The Moped driver asks, "Mind if I take a look inside?"

"No problem," replies the doctor.

So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Then, sitting back on his Moped, the old man says, "That's a pretty nice car, all right... but I'll stick with my Moped!"

Just then the light changes, so the doctor decides to show the old man just what his car can do. He floors it, and within 30 seconds, the speedometer reads 150 mph.

Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear. Then, WHHHOOOOOOSSSSSHHH! Something whips by him going much faster! "What on earth could be going faster than my Ferrari?" the doctor asks himself. He floors the accelerator and takes the Ferrari up to 175 mph.

Then, up ahead of him, he sees that it's the old man on the Moped!

Amazed that the Moped could pass his Ferrari, he gives it more gas and passes the Moped at 210 mph.


He's feeling pretty good until he looks in his mirror and sees the old man gaining on him AGAIN!

Astounded by the speed of his old guy, he floors the gas pedal and takes the Ferrari all the way up to 250 mph.

Not ten seconds later, he sees the Moped bearing down on him again!

The Ferrari is flat out, and there's nothing he can do!

Suddenly, the Moped plows into the back of his Ferrari, demolishing the rear end.

The doctor stops and jumps out and, unbelievably, the old man is still alive. He runs up to the mangled old man and says, "Oh my gosh! Is there anything I can do for you?"

The old man whispers, "Yeah ... unhook my suspenders from your side mirror."

Received from Doc's Daily Chuckle.


Top 50 Programming Quotes

50. "Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe trying to build bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning." - Rick Cook

49. "Lisp isn't a language -- it's a building material." - Alan Kay

48. "Walking on water and developing software from a specification are easy if both are frozen." - Edward V. Berard

47. "They don't make bugs like Bunny anymore." - Olav Mjelde

46. "A programming language is low level when its programs require attention to the irrelevant." - Alan J. Perlis

45. "A C program is like a fast dance on a newly waxed dance floor by people carrying razors." - Waldi Ravens

44. "I have always wished for my computer to be as easy to use as my telephone; my wish has come true because I can no longer figure out how to use my telephone." - Bjarne Stroustrup

43. "Computer science education cannot make anybody an expert programmer any more than studying brushes and pigment can make somebody an expert painter." - Eric S. Raymond

42. "Don't worry if it doesn't work right. If everything did, you'd be out of a job." - Mosher's Law of Software Engineering

41. "I think Microsoft named .Net so it wouldn't show up in a Unix directory listing." - Oktal

40. "Fine, Java MIGHT be a good example of what a programming language should be like. But Java applications are good examples of what applications SHOULDN'T be like." - pixadel

39. "Considering the current sad state of our computer programs, software development is clearly still a black art, and cannot yet be called an engineering discipline." - Bill Clinton

38. "The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should therefore be regarded as a criminal offense." - E.W. Dijkstra

37. "In the one and only true way, the object-oriented version of 'Spaghetti code' is, of course, 'Lasagna code' (too many layers)." - Roberto Waltman

36. "FORTRAN is not a flower but a weed; it is hardy, occasionally blooms, and grows in every computer." - Alan J. Perlis

35. "For a long time it puzzled me how something so expensive, so leading edge, could be so useless. And then it occurred to me that a computer is a stupid machine with the ability to do incredibly smart things, while computer programmers are smart people with the ability to do incredibly stupid things. They are, in short, a perfect match." - Bill Bryson

34. "In my egotistical opinion, most people's C programs should be indented six feet downward and covered with dirt." - Blair P. Houghton

33. "When someone says: 'I want a programming language in which I need only say what I wish done,' give him a lollipop." - Alan J. Perlis

32. "The evolution of languages: FORTRAN is a non-typed language. C is a weakly typed language. Ada is a strongly typed language. C++ is a strongly hyped language." - Ron Sercely

31. "Good design adds value faster than it adds cost." - Thomas C. Gale

30. "Python's a drop-in replacement for BASIC in the sense that Optimus Prime is a drop-in replacement for a truck." - Cory Dodt

29. "Talk is cheap. Show me the code." - Linus Torvalds

28. "Perfection [in design] is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away." - Antoine de Saint-Exupry

27. "C is quirky, flawed, and an enormous success." - Dennis M. Ritchie

26. "In theory, theory and practice are the same. In practice, they're not." - Yogi Berra

25. "You can't have great software without a great team, and most software teams behave like dysfunctional families." - Jim McCarthy

24. "PHP is a minor evil perpetrated and created by incompetent amateurs, whereas Perl is a great and insidious evil, perpetrated by skilled but perverted professionals." - Jon Ribbens

23. "Programming is like kicking yourself in the face: sooner or later your nose will bleed." - Kyle Woodbury

22. "Perl -- the only language that looks the same before and after RSA encryption." - Keith Bostic

21. "It is easier to port a shell than a shell script." - Larry Wall

20. "I invented the term 'Object-Oriented,' and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind." - Alan Kay

19. "Learning to program has no more to do with designing interactive software than learning to touch type has to do with writing poetry" - Ted Nelson

18. "The best programmers are not marginally better than merely good ones. They are an order-of-magnitude better, measured by whatever standard: conceptual creativity, speed, ingenuity of design, or problem-solving ability." - Randall E. Stross

17. "If McDonald's were run like a software company, one out of every hundred Big Macs would give you food poisoning, and the response would be, 'We're sorry; here's a coupon for two more.'" - Mark Minasi

16. "Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved it correct, not tried it." - Donald E. Knuth

15. "Computer system analysis is like child-rearing; you can do grievous damage, but you cannot ensure success." - Tom DeMarco

14. "I don't care if it works on your machine! We are not shipping your machine!" - Vidiu Platon

13. "Sometimes it pays to stay in bed on Monday, rather than spending the rest of the week debugging Monday's code." - Christopher Thompson

12. "Measuring programming progress by lines of code is like measuring aircraft building progress by weight." - Bill Gates

11. "Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place. Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as possible, you are, by definition, not smart enough to debug it." - Brian W. Kernighan

10. "People think that computer science is the art of geniuses, but the actual reality is the opposite, just many people doing things that build on each other, like a wall of mini stones." - Donald Knuth

9. "First learn computer science and all the theory. Next develop a programming style. Then forget all that and just hack." - George Carrette

8. "Most of you are familiar with the virtues of a programmer. There are three, of course: laziness, impatience, and hubris." - Larry Wall

7. "Most software today is very much like an Egyptian pyramid with millions of bricks piled on top of each other, with no structural integrity, but just done by brute force and thousands of slaves." - Alan Kay

6. "The trouble with programmers is that you can never tell what a programmer is doing until it's too late." - Seymour Cray

5. "To iterate is human, to recurse divine." - L. Peter Deutsch

4. "On two occasions I have been asked [by members of Parliament]: 'Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?' I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question." - Charles Babbage

3. "Most good programmers do programming not because they expect to get paid or get adulation by the public, but because it is fun to program." - Linus Torvalds

2. "Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live." - Martin Golding

1. "There are two ways of constructing a software design. One way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies. And the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies." - C.A.R. Hoare

Received from Trey Nolen.


Companies After Me

"I need a raise," the man said to his boss. "There are three other companies after me."

"Is that so?" asked the manager. "What other companies are after you?"

"The electric company, the telephone company, and the gas company."

Received from ArcaMax Jokes.


Bruce Tells How a Bill Becomes Law

How a Bill Becomes Law
Copyright 2001 W. Bruce Cameron
(Please leave the copyright intact. Thanks!)

The following steps trace the process by which a paternal proclamation becomes law in the Cameron household.

Step One: The father of the house issues an executive order that all Saturday activities will be suspended until the garage is cleaned up.

Step Two: The children form a committee and produce a report finding the order totally unconstitutional because it violates the "Cruel and Unusual" clause.

Step Three: The committee report is voided by paternal declaration.

Step Four: The ruling is appealed under the "This is stupid nobody else has to do this kind of stuff" doctrine of the "Equal Protection" clause. Specific examples are cited of other children who are not cleaning their garages.

Step Five: The "nobody else has to" doctrine is rejected as having no bearing on the case.

Step Six: Each child petitions separately for the relief under the "why do I have to do it none of it is my junk" theory.

Step Seven: The father rules that the individuals of the household are a family, that the junk in the garage belongs to the family, and that the family has the responsibility of cleaning it up.

Step Eight: The children attempt to stay the executive order by evading subpoena.

Step Nine: The father retrieves the children from their bedrooms and declares notice properly served.

Step Ten: The children plead pre-existing obligations that preempt the paternal proclamation. The oldest is due at the mall, the middle child has to go to a soccer game, and the youngest is yeah me too.

Step Eleven: Clarification is sought from the youngest on which of the two lame excuses is yeah me too: soccer game or the mall?

Step Twelve: The youngest says the soccer game.

Step Thirteen: The father rules the soccer game cannot preempt the garage cleanup.

Step Fourteen: The youngest says I meant the mall.

Step Fifteen: The father rules the mall cannot preempt the garage cleanup.

Step Sixteen: The children pass a resolution that the father is the meanest man in the world.

Step Seventeen: The father agrees to accept the "meanest man" amendment and calls for an end to the debate.

Step Eighteen: The children submit an emergency appeal on the grounds that there might be mice living in the garage.

Step Nineteen: The father issues an executive decree that he has authority over all rodents and that there are no mice in the garage.

Step Twenty: The children move for dismissal, claiming they are exempt because they have homework to do.

Step Twenty-One: The father consults the official Cameron family calendar and determines there is another day left in the weekend in which homework can be done.

Step Twenty-two: The children file a grievance with the Supreme Court of the house: their mother. A restraining order is sought prohibiting enforcement of the father's executive order on the grounds that he never listens, he is ruining our lives, he's mean, and if he really wants the garage cleaned up why doesn't he do it himself.

Step Twenty-Three: A constitutional crisis is averted when the wife hands down a decision supporting the father's right to order the children to clean up the garage.

Step Twenty-four: The children declare themselves no longer members of the family. As stateless persons, they are not subject to parental authority.

Step Twenty-five: The father agrees to expedite the emigration of each child on the date they achieve their majorities. Until the parents are released by the laws of the State of Colorado from their obligations, however, the family members are stuck with each other. Meanwhile, the father identifies further sanctions to be imposed upon delay of compliance with his order, including suspension of telephone privileges.

Step Twenty-six: The teenagers file a brief equating telephone cut-off with capital punishment.

Step Twenty-seven: The father further suspends all use of the family automobile until the garage is cleaned up enough to park the car in it.

Step Twenty-eight: The children petition for relief from further sanctions by agreeing to clean up the garage.

Thus, with these simple 28 steps, a bill moves through the checks and balances and becomes law.

It may not be the best system, but it's the only one we've got.

Write to the author at

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.


Car Purchase

A Russian man decides he would like to buy a car. He phones the factory and asks, "How long do I have to wait for a car if I place my order immediately?"

The salesman replies, "Your car will be delivered in five years. Let's see now...that will be the first Monday in September."

"Will that be in the morning or the afternoon?" inquires the man.

"When you've waited five years, what does it matter whether the car arrives in the morning or the afternoon?" questions the salesman.

"Because the plumber is coming in the morning."

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.


Dot Com Mergers

In the aftermath of all of the recent mergers, it has been leaked that Yahoo! is taking over the following companies: Disney, Data General, and United Health Care.

The names of the new mega company will be:

Hoo-Dis, Hoo-Dat, and Hoo-Cares.

Received from ArcaMax Jokes.


Watch Out For That Tree

A state trooper pulls a car over on a lonely back road and approaches the blonde lady driver. "Ma'am, is there a reason that you're weaving all over the road?"

The woman replied, "Oh, officer, thank goodness you're here! I almost had an accident. I looked up and there was a tree right in front of me. I swerved to the left and there was another tree in front of me. I swerved to the right and there was another tree in front of me!"

Reaching through the side window to the rear view mirror, the officer replied, "Ma'am, that's your air freshener."

Received from otchurch.


Why It's Great to Be a Dog

1) No one expects you to take a bath every day.

2) If it itches, you can scratch it.

3) There's no such thing as bad food.

4) A rawhide bone can entertain you for hours.

5) If you grow hair in weird places, no one notices.

6) You can lie around all day without worrying about being fired.

7) You don't get in trouble for putting your head in a stranger's lap.

8) You're always excited to see the same people.

9) Having big feet is considered an asset.

10) Puppy love can last.

Received from Doc's Daily Chuckle.


Don't Ignore the Kids

The 12-year-old boy stood patiently beside the clock counter while the store clerk waited on all of the adult customers first. Finally he got around to the youngster, who made his purchase and hurried out to the curb, where his father was impatiently waiting in his car.

"What took you so long, son?" he asked.

"The man waited on everybody in the store before me," the boy replied. "But I got even."


"I wound and set all the alarm clocks while I was waiting," the youngster explained happily. "It's going to be fun at eight o'clock."

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

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Brought to you by The Good, Clean Funnies List A cheerful heart is good medicine... (Prov 17:22a) Mail address: GCFL, Box 100, Harvest, AL 35749, USA

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Brought to you by The Good, Clean Funnies List A cheerful heart is good medicine... (Prov 17:22a) Mail address: GCFL, Box 100, Harvest, AL 35749, USA
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Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Column - -

Be Yourself? - January 23rd, 2011

Oscar Wilde famously (and amusingly) said, “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” So I thought I’d have some limerick fun with the “be yourself” advice:

Be Yourself?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“Be yourself” is outstanding advice.
You’ve heard it, I’m sure, once or twice.
I’d advise you to take it.
It’s best not to fake it,
Assuming you’re someone who’s nice.
The Fighter, A Limerick Review - January 22nd, 2011

I fought seeing The Fighter for reasons I explain in my limerick review. But I’m glad I succumbed:

The Fighter, A Limerick Review
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I tend to hate films about fighting.
Cuz I cringe at the punching and smiting.
But The Fighter is more
About fam’ly than gore.
So see it. I promise — no biting.

(The Fighter stars Mark Wahlberg, Christian Bale, Amy Adams, and Melissa Leo.)
Feet Trouble Afoot - January 5th, 2011

Big Tent Poetry prompts us to write poems about feet this week. My pal Amanda’s already composed one. So, why not a limerick?

Feet Trouble Afoot
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I can’t always rely on my feet.
When I dance, they say “Please take a seat!”
Though I stretch ‘em and bend ‘em,
I can’t seem to mend ‘em.
Of foot, I confess, I’m not fleet.
Diversion Verse - January 5th, 2011

Airplane Piloting 101: If you must spill coffee, spill it on your co-pilot … and not on the plane’s communication’s equipment.

A United Airlines flight from Chicago to Frankfurt, Germany, was diverted to Toronto this week after the pilot dumped a cup of coffee on the plane’s communication’s equipment. The unwanted liquid triggered a series of emergency codes, including one for a hijacking, according to Transport Canada, the agency that regulates transportation in Canada.

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Diversion Verse
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A pilot with coffee needs skills
To captain his plane without spills.
So I don’t mean to grouse,
But kindly don’t douse
The controls, cuz that’s flying no-frills.
Wedded Bliss Interruptus - January 5th, 2011

I’m a “recovering lawyer.” But I haven’t “recovered” quite enough to resist writing this lawsuit limerick. It’s a cautionary tale about jilted brides, grooms who get cold feet, and litigation to recover wedding expenses.

The former bride-to-be Dominique Buttitta (who just happens to be a lawyer) is seeking over $95,000 in damages from her ex-fiancé. She claims defendant Vito Salerno jilted her just four days before the wedding, after she’d spent $56,000 for the banquet hall, flowers, orchestra, and gown, plus other non-refundable expenses.

Ms. Buttitta has a decent chance of recovering her out-of-pocket expenses, according to lawyers Gloria Allred and Lydia Sartain.

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Wedded Bliss Interruptus
By Madeleine Begun Kane

If you’re planning a wedding, be warned:
Change your mind and your bride-to-be scorned
Could sue you and win
Major bucks for your sin.
And your assets? They’re bound to be mourned.
Have You Ever Noticed… - January 3rd, 2011

This question will probably make me sound ageist and grumpy. In my preemptive defense, let me say:

1) I’ve been tossing AARP’s annoying magazine for years; and

2) I am grumpy.

So here’s my question: Have you ever noticed that Andy Rooney isn’t funny anymore?

I used to be a fan and would never turn 60 Minutes off until Rooney’s monologue was over. I even owned one of his humor collections. But I can’t remember the last time Andy Rooney made me laugh … or even giggle. These days his commentaries make me cringe.

Now to those who may argue that I’m not funny either, I say:

CBS doesn’t pay me a gazillion bucks a year to not be funny!

And no, this limerick isn’t funny either:

Have You Ever Noticed…
By Madeleine Begun Kane

At the risk of incurring some ire:
Andy Rooney should really retire.
It’s not that he’s old,
And I don’t mean to scold,
But he’s funny no more, and it’s dire.
"Bugs Note" - - I wrote Ms Kane about this last limerick.

Hello Ms Kane,

I agree with you that Andy isn't so funny any more and I have two theories for that;

1. We've reached the age where very little is funny. I know that I don't laugh near as much as I used too.
2. Andy's finally reached the age where he doesn't think much is funny either.

I used to be "hilarious." All my friends said so. I was often asked to speak at gatherings of light hearted folks. But as I aged, started turning into a grumpy old guy. Oh I still laugh and tell jokes, but not with the energy of my youth and middle age.

Fortunately, after I retired, I did get some of my funny bone back. I think it was getting away from all those "serious" folks who felt that we should spend our work time working.

Also, there's hope that as we move further into our "second" childhood, our sense of humor will return with a vengeance. I hope so.

James F. McClellan
"Old Poop"
Editor/Publisher "Bug's Bleat"
Chief Operating Officer of the NEW "Cotton Valley" "N" Scale Railroad

© Madeleine Begun Kane. All Rights Reserved.
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For too long we have been too complacent about the workings of Congress. Many citizens had no idea that members of Congress could retire with the same pay after only one term, that they specifically exempted themselves from many of the laws they have passed (such as being exempt from any fear of prosecution for sexual harassment) while ordinary citizens must live under those laws. The latest is to exempt themselves from the Healthcare Reform ... in all of its forms. Somehow, that doesn't seem logical. We do not have an elite that is above the law. I truly don't care if they are Democrat, Republican, Independent, or whatever. The self-serving must stop.
Proposed 28th Amendment to the United States Constitution: "Congress shall make no law that applies to the citizens of the United States that does not apply equally to the Senators and/or Representatives; and, Congress shall make no law that applies to the Senators and/or Representatives that does not apply equally to the citizens of the United States ."
Thanks to Netta
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NEVER FORGET! We're listing the names of our soldiers (27) killed since our last Bleat was published (December 31). These records can be found at

01. Sgt. Michael J. Beckerman, 25, of Ste. Genevieve, Mo., died Dec. 31 in Kandahar province, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked his unit with an improvised explosive device. He was assigned to 2nd Brigade Support Troop Battalion, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), Fort Campbell, Ky.

02. Lance Cpl. Maung P. Htaik, 20, of Hagerstown, Md., died Jan. 1 while conducting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 9th Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

03. Cpl. Jacob A. Tate, 21, of Columbus, Ohio, died Jan. 2 while conducting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 9th Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

The Department of Defense announced the death of two soldiers who were supporting Operation New Dawn. They died Jan. 2 in Taji, Iraq, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked their unit with an improvised explosive device. They were assigned to the 1013th Engineer (Sapper) Company of the Puerto Rico Army National Guard, Aguadilla, Puerto Rico. Killed were:
04. Sgt. Jose M. Cintron Rosado, 38, of Vega Alta, Puerto Rico; and
05. Spc. Jose A. Delgado Arroyo, 41, of San Juan, Puerto Rico.

06. Sgt. Eric M. Nettleton, 26, of Wichita, Kan., died Jan. 5, in Tarin Kowt, Afghanistan of wounds suffered in Dehjawz-e Hasanzay when insurgents attacked his unit with an improvised explosive device. He was assigned to the 1st Squadron, 2nd Stryker Cavalry Regiment, Vilseck, Germany.

07. Lance Cpl. Joseph R. Giese, 24, of Winder, Ga., died Jan. 7 while conducting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 9th Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

The Department of Defense announced the deaths of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Enduring Freedom. They died January 5 of wounds suffered at Nangarhar Province, Afghanistan when insurgents attacked their unit using an improvised explosive device. Killed were:
08. Sgt. 1st Class Robert W. Pharris, 48, of Seymour, Mo. He was assigned to the Missouri National Guard Agri-Business Development Team IV, Jefferson City, Mo.
09. Spc. Christian J. Romig, 24, of Kenner, La. He was assigned to 1st Squadron, 61st Cavalry, 4th Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), Fort Campbell, Ky.

The Department of Defense announced the deaths of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Enduring Freedom. They died Jan. 7 of wounds suffered at Logar province, Afghanistan, when insurgents attacked their unit using an improvised explosive device and small arms fire. They were assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 30th Infantry Regiment, 4th Brigade Combat Team, 10th Mountain Division, Fort Polk, La. Killed were:
10. Sgt. Ethan C. Hardin, 25, of Fayetteville, Ark., and
11. Pfc. Ira B. Laningham, IV, 22, of Zapata, Texas.

12. Pfc. Robert J. Near, 21, of Nampa, Idaho, died Jan. 7 at Kandahar, Afghanistan. He was assigned to the 86th Signal Battalion, Fort Huachuca, Ariz.

The Department of Defense announced the death of three soldiers who were supporting Operation Enduring Freedom. They died Jan. 12, in Ghazni province, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when enemy forces attacked their unit with an improvised explosive device. Killed were:
13. Staff Sgt. Omar Aceves, 30, of El Paso, Texas.
14. Cpl. Jarrid L. King, 20, of Erie, Pa.
15. Spc. Benjamin G. Moore, 23, of Robbinsville, N.J.
They were assigned to the 7th Engineer Battalion, 10th Sustainment Brigade, 10th Mountain Division, Fort Drum, N.Y.

16. Sgt. Zainah C. Creamer, 28, of Texarkana, Texas, died Jan. 12, in Kandahar province, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked her unit with an improvised explosive device. She was assigned to the 212th Military Police Detachment, Headquaters Battalion, Fort Belvoir, Va.

17. Maj. Evan J. Mooldyk, 47, of Ranch Murieto, Calif., died Jan. 12 in Khowst province, Afghanistan, in a non-combat related incident. He was assigned to the 19th Sustainment Command, 377th Theater Sustainment Command, Belle Chasse, La.

18. Pfc. Zachary S. Salmon, 21, of Harrison, Ohio, died Jan. 12 in Kunar province, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked his unit with small arms fire. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 32nd Cavalry Regiment, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), Fort Campbell, Ky.

19. Spc. Jose A. Torre, Jr., 21, of Garden Grove, Calif., died Jan.15 in Baghdad, Iraq, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked his unit with a rocket-propelled grenade. He was assigned to the Special Troops Battalion, 2nd Advise and Assist Brigade, 1st Infantry Division, Fort Riley, Kan.

The Department of Defense announced the deaths of two soldiers who were supporting Operation New Dawn. They died Jan. 15 in Mosul, Iraq, of wounds suffered when an Iraqi soldier from the unit with which they were training shot them with small arms fire. They were assigned to the 1st Squadron, 9th Cavalry Regiment, 4th Brigade Combat Team, 1st Cavalry Division, Fort Hood, Texas. Killed were:
20. Sgt. Michael P. Bartley, 23, of Barnhill, Ill.

21. Spc. Martin J. Lamar, 43, of Sacramento, Calif.

22. Cpl. Joseph C. Whitehead, 22, of Axis, Ala., died Jan. 17 while conducting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to 2nd Combat Engineer Battalion, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

23. Maj. Michael S. Evarts, 41, of Concord, Ohio, died Jan. 17, in Tikrit, Iraq, in a non-combat related incident. He was assigned to the 256th Combat Support Hospital, Twinsburg, Ohio.

24. Spc. Joshua T. Lancaster, 22, of Millbrook, Ala., died Jan. 19, in Kandahar, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked the Kandahar airfield with indirect fire. He was assigned to the 184th Ordnance Battalion, 52nd Ordnance Group, Fort Campbell, Ky.

25. Petty Officer Dominique Cruz, 26, of Panama City, Fla., was found during search and rescue operations Jan. 19 in the Gulf of Oman after being reported missing Jan. 18. Cruz was assigned as an Operations Specialist to the USS Halsey homeported in San Diego, Calif. Halsey is currently deployed to the Fifth Fleet area of responsibility conducting maritime security operations.

26. Sgt. Jason G. Amores, 29, of Lehigh Acres, Fla., died Jan. 20 while conducting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to 3rd Battalion, 5th Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Pendleton, Calif.

27. Pfc. Amy R. Sinkler, 23, of Chadbourn, N.C., died Jan. 20 in Baghlan province, Afghanistan, of wounds sustained when insurgents attacked her unit with a rocket propelled grenade. She was assigned to the 17th Combat Sustainment Support Battalion, 3rd Maneuver Enhancement Brigade, Fort Richardson, Alaska.
Airmen Missing from Vietnam War Identified

The Department of Defense POW/Missing Personnel Office (DPMO) announced today that the remains of two servicemen, missing in action from the Vietnam War, have been identified and returned to their families for burial with full military honors.

Air Force Col. James E. Dennany, 34, of Kalamazoo, Mich., and Maj. Robert L. Tucci, 27, of Detroit, will be buried as a group Jan. 14, in the Dallas-Ft. Worth National Cemetery.

On Nov. 12, 1969, Dennany and Tucci were flying the number three aircraft of three F-4Ds escorting an AC-130 gunship on a night strike mission over Laos. After the gunship attacked six trucks and set two of them on fire, the AC-130 crew’s night vision equipment was impacted by the glow from the fires. They requested that Tucci attack the remaining trucks. During the attack, gunship crew members observed anti-aircraft artillery gunfire directed at Tucci’s plane followed by a large explosion. No radio transmissions were heard from the F-4D following the attack and no parachutes were seen in the area. An immediate electronic search revealed nothing and no formal search was initiated due to heavy anti-aircraft fire in the area.

Beginning in the mid-1990s analysts at DPMO and the Joint POW/MIA Accounting Command (JPAC) developed case leads they collected from wartime reporting and archival research.

In 1994, a joint U.S.-Lao People’s Democratic Republic (L.P.D.R.) team led by JPAC analyzed leads, interviewed villagers, and surveyed five reported crash sites near the record loss location with negative results.

In 1999, during another joint survey, officials in Ban Soppeng, Laos, turned over remains later determined to be human, two .38 caliber pistols and other crew-related equipment that villagers had recovered from a nearby crash site. Between 1999 and 2009, other joint U.S.-L.P.D.R. teams pursued leads, interviewed villagers, and conducted three excavations. They recovered aircraft wreckage, human remains, crew-related equipment and personal effects.

JPAC scientists used forensic tools and circumstantial evidence in the identification of the remains.

With the accounting of these airmen, 1,702 service members still remain missing from the conflict.
Airman Missing in Action from Korean War is Identified

The Department of Defense POW/Missing Personnel Office (DPMO) announced today that the remains of a serviceman, missing in action from the Korean War, has been identified and returned to his family for burial with full military honors.

Air Force 1st Lt. Robert F. Dees, 23, of Moultrie, Ga., will be buried Jan. 22 at the Longstreet Historical Cemetery in Ozark, Ala. On Oct. 9, 1952, he was flying an F-84 Thunderjet, attacking several targets in North Korea. After he and three aircraft from the 430th Fighter-Bomber Squadron completed their attack on their primary target, they began their bombing run against enemy boxcars on the railroad near Sinyang. Other members of his flight reported seeing an explosion near the target they were attacking. They believed it to be the crash of Dees’ aircraft and could not raise any radio contact with him. Airborne searches over the battlefield failed to locate him or his aircraft.

Following the armistice in 1953, the North Koreans repatriated 4,219 remains of U.S. and allied soldiers during Operation Glory. In November 1954, they turned over remains which they reported were recovered from Sinyang. Accompanying the remains were portions of a pilot’s flight suit and a pneumatic life preserver. But after two attempts, the Army’s mortuary at Kokura, Japan, was unable to identify the remains. They were buried in 1956 as “unknown” at the Punch Bowl Cemetery in Hawaii.

Beginning in the late 1990s, analysts from DPMO and the Joint POW/MIA Accounting Command (JPAC) undertook a concentrated review of Korean War air losses, as well as a review of the Kokura mortuary files. They made a tentative association to Dees, based on U.S. wartime records as well as the information provided by the North Koreans. These remains were disinterred from the Punch Bowl Cemetery in June 2010.

Dees’ remains were identified by making extensive dental comparisons with his medical records.

For additional information on the Defense Department’s mission to account for missing Americans, visit the DPMO website at or call 703-699-1169.
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Central Asia Institute. Donate to support education and empower people to resist terrorist growth. []
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Weekly Toll _ _
Death In The Workplace w/News & Updates
John Donne _ ...any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.
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The Pump Handle. A water cooler for the public health crowd.
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Movie Reviews - - []
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"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." __ Franklin D. Roosevelt
"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. _ _ George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" _ _ Queen E. Watson
“A political class of Republicans and Democrats that look after themselves, not the Nation. A media hostile to the very precepts of this nation. A generation of Americans who see morals as vices, and are ignorant of America's Actual History.”
"The things that will destroy America are prosperity-at-any-price, peace-at-any-price, safety-first instead of duty-first, the love of soft living, and the get-rich-quick theory of life." - - Theodore Roosevelt
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Scheduled Activities
Men's Prayer Breakfast held every Tuesday morning at 6 AM in Miller's Cafeteria. If you aren't a regular participant at the Men's Prayer Breakfast, you're missing some great food, fellowship and inspired teaching of the Word. Hope to see you there.
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Emergency Phone Number 911
(Fire, Police, Ambulance, Sheriff, etc. )
Central Dispatch 234_5655
(Non _ Emergency Number)
Direct Numbers
Ambulance _ 234_7371 (24 Hour)
Jail _ 234_5331 (24 Hour)
Poison Control _ 800_222_1222 (24 Hour)
http://www. aapcc. org/
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Interested in getting in touch with the Banner_News through e_mail?
E_mail addresses for communicating with the newspaper’s various departments are: For the editor, For news and sports items, Coming Events, Diary, Church News, school and civic events.
advertising@bannernews. net For retail and classified advertising.
circulation@bannernews. net To start, stop or cancel newspaper delivery or for comments about delivery.
outfitters For Office Outfitters, the office supply division of the Banner_News.
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"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." __ "Bug"
"I read the end of the book. We win!" __ "Bug"
"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." __ "Bug"
"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." _ _ "Bug"
"It's no big deal doing what God tells you to do. A big deal would be NOT doing what God tells you to do. Just ask Jonah." _ _ Paul Troquille
“Nam et ipsa scientia potestas est.” Knowledge is power. _ Francis Bacon
"The problem is here and now. The time for talk is past. The time for action is now."
Comments on the first Earth Day _ James F. McClellan via John "Fuzzy" Thurman
Hope you enjoy the newsletter.
Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" __"Bug"
God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
John 8:25-27 Eccl 3:1 Eccl 3:1-8 Eph 2:6-7 John 9:39-40 Acts 8:18-23 Gal 4:13-15 Gal 5:7-10 Acts 8:40-9:2 Psa 31:12-14 Psa 61:1-3 Gal 6:1-2 Psa 50:12-15 Gal 2:2-3 Psa 40:11-13 Psa 84:1-3
God is Good and Faithful CU 73 IC JFM CSP NREMT_I KC5HII

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