Sunday, February 21, 2010

Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Whiskey from Home! - - Photos

 
Annette and I enjoyed a chance to bless "Master's Hand's Ministries."

 
L&NW Engine #57

 
The boys had HUGE smiles.

 
Annette with Pam, Brandt, Austin and Ben
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Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Whiskey from Home! - - Photos

 
Riding Old #57.

 
Austin and Ben enjoyed the ride

 
Austin ran up to me shouting "It was AWSOME!"

 
Brandt gets a shot of his family in front of the engine.
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Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Whiskey from Home!

 
Lights and decorations in MCC's Youth Building

 
My new ride at the Men's retreat.

 
Trees around Iron Mountain Lodge.

 
The snow decorated one of Magnolia's Water Towers.
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Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Whiskey from Home!

 
Our Flag Flies High

 
Annette's New (to us) '09 Traverse

 
Annette's Chevy in the snow. She wants a carport.

 
Annette's Easter Porch Decoration
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Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Whiskey from Home!

 

MCC draped in Snow

 

The old Sanders Farm on Dudney Road

 

Winter cloaks Columbia County

 

SAU's Old Dog Trot House
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Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Whiskey from Home!

Volume 12, Issue 08 Friday, February 19, 2010

Hello All,

Guess who got a Kindle for their birthday? If you like to read, I heartily recommend Amazon’s Kindle. Annette, David and Vanessa got me the Kindle 2 which is the paperback book size reader (in length and width. It’s only a quarter inch thick.)
This device is the greatest thing since offset printing. First of all, let me calm your fears of high costs. The Kindle 2 is priced at $250 but it comes with life time free wifi and access to thousands of free books.
In fact most of the books I like to read are free on Kindle. And the “not free” ones are priced low enough to allow me to purchase one from time to time. New releases are normally $9.99 with older (last 3 to 7 years) books going for $3 to $5. There are many books for $0.99.
But the majority of books, like I said, are free. I’ve downloaded (takes about 1 minute per book) books by HG Wells, Edgar Allan Poe, Oliver Wendell Holmes, Robert Frost, Elizabeth Moon, Jules Verne, Robert Louis Stevenson, Benjamin Franklin, Arthur Conan Doyle, Terri Blackstock, Watchman Nee, Stephen Hunter, Stephen Coonts, etc. and most of these were free or very low cost.
And, a boon to Crabby Old Diabetics, with the Kindle you can vary the text size as well as the words per line, or you can have most books read audibly to you if you like. Kindle automatically keeps your place and takes you back to where you last read. The battery can last up to a week between charges. You can download books by going to the Kindle store on the Kindle itself or on your personal computer.
And, you can carry up to 1,500 books in a 10.2 oz, 8" x 5.3" x 0.36" package. Did I tell you that I liked my Kindle?
~~~~~
In World War II, Bill Mauldin created two cartoon soldiers named and Willie and Joe. Thanks to his son, Sam Mauldin, his drawings are now starring on t-shirts sold to benefit a nonprofit for military personnel and their families called The Soldiers Project.
My dad brought a Willie and Joe cartoon book, "This D__n Tree Leaks," home from WWII. That book lead to my lifelong love of political cartoons. Mr. Mauldin could speak more eloquently in a single cartoon than 99.9% of newspaper editorial writers. Not to mention that he was a far superior political commentator than the "talking heads" we now have dishing out inane drivel on a nightly basis.
~~~~~
I’m continuing to work with Becky and the GREAT group at Health Quest to restore my wrist to normal function. I can now tie my shoes as well as pick up light items.
~~~~~
SAMS Club cut 11,500 jobs. The jobs are the in store product demonstration folks (the ones that give you samples of pizza, etc.) and “corporate” membership representatives. Now I don’t want to get in SAMS business as to who they can fire, etc. but the employees were informed in “mandatory” meetings on a Sunday morning.
Do you think that any of the SAMS management team considered that some of these folks would have been in church that morning? I mean, to make them come in to a mandatory meeting on Sunday morning to tell them they’d lost their jobs seems a little callous to me.
By the way, the jobs were cut because SAMS only made $11.5 BILLION last quarter, a disappointing profit for the chain.
~~~~~
Needed: More Snow in Washington, D.C.
by Tom Purcell - Comment on the column
Boy, do we need more snow in Washington, D.C.
You see, when it snows in Pittsburgh, my home town, or any town in the heartland, people pick up their shovels and clear their sidewalks and driveways.
We are invigorated by the crisp air and a good sweat - we are cheerful as we sip hot coffee and catch up with neighbors.
That's not how Washington reacts to snow.
I lived in the Washington region for nearly eight years. When the forecasters say an inch or two is on the way, panic sets in.
Powerful people shut down schools, cancel flights and order "non-essential" government employees - and that covers just about everybody - to stay home.

[http://blog.cagle.com/2010/02/15/needed-more-snow-in-washington-dc/]
~~~~~
My classmate, David Childs, writes verse. Here’s one of his recent ones;

REAL MEN

Real men don't cry.... they bleed.
Real men don't hurt ... they die inside.
Real men are not friends with their children.... they are fathers.
Real men don't love.... they feel.
Real men are not soft in their touch, but in their compassion.
Real men don't fight to win, they fight for whats right.
Real men ....can always be found.... for they stand their ground.
Real men don't always agree with you, but they will make you think.
Real men have few words to say, but much to do.
Real men can't help but smile..... lookin in the eyes of a child.
Maybe one day...... I will find the "Real Man" inside mine heart.
~~~~~
And another of David’s poems was published in the February “Military Writers Society of America” newsletter [http://militarywriters.com/] [http://mwsamembertalk.blogspot.com/]

Untitled Poem by David Childs

I feel a cold wind up my back working all day for a dollars pay. Respect is what I lack, For it is not my labor. I work hard like a retard askin for no favor Seekin' that which is a dream. It's the American way, existing to each pay day. To the top will rise the cream. My collar is blue, my neck is red and my skin is white. here's to AMERICA. I love you.

By David Childs

David Childs was born in Magnolia, Arkansas in 1951. He served in the military from October 1970 to May of 1972 and, of that time, in Vietnam from May 1971 to May 1972. In 1975, he received an accounting degree from Southern Arkansas University in Magnolia, Arkansas. David resides in El Dorado, Arkansas, is married and has two sons and one daughter. He's works as a chemical plant technician when he's not writing poetry.
~~~~~
Annette likes the following story of a young couple.

The young wife told her husband that they needed a change and asked him to take her someplace she’d never been before.
So, he took her into the kitchen.
~~~~~
"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them." - Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955) - Corollary - At the heart of the financial collapse of late 08 was defaults on reckless consumer debt, so how does reckless government debt correct the problem? - - Robert Lyons
~~~~~
I once asked the wife:
"How can you be so beautiful and stupid at the same time?"
She replied,
"It's simple. God made me beautiful, so you'd be attracted to me. And God made me stupid, so I'd be attracted to you!"
~
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."
The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."
She fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says,"HEBREWS"

Thanks to Daryl Cox
~~~~~
I didn’t say this, Gary did.

When you think about it, God has to be the greatest inventor of all time. He took a rib from Adam and made a loudspeaker.
Thanks to Gary Foreman
~~~~~
Save the earth, it’s the only planet with chocolate!!!
Norajean (Medicinewoman) Miles Harrell
~~~~~
"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. That is the principal difference between a dog and a man." - Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
Thanks to Robert Lyons
~~~~~
Some more Mark Twain Quotes:

In religion and politics people's beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second-hand, and without examination, from authorities who have not themselves examined the questions at issue but have taken them at second-hand from other non-examiners, whose opinions about them were not worth a brass farthing.

I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkey's. ~- Mark Twain in Eruption

I have a religion--but you will call it blasphemy. It is that there is a God for the rich man but none for the poor.....Perhaps your religion will sustain you, will feed you--I place no dependence in mine. Our religions are alike, though, in one respect--neither can make a man happy when he is out of luck.
- Letter to Orion Clemens, 10/19-20/1865

Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion--several of them. He is the only animal that loves his neighbor as himself and cuts his throat if his theology isn't straight. He has made a graveyard of the globe in trying his honest best to smooth his brother's path to happiness and heaven....The higher animals have no religion. And we are told that they are going to be left out in the Hereafter. I wonder why? It seems questionable taste.
- "The Lowest Animal"

We despise all reverences and all the objects of reverence which are outside the pale of our own list of sacred things. And yet, with strange inconsistency, we are shocked when other people despise and defile the things which are holy to us.

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0684824396/marktwainquota03

Amazon.com: The Bible According to Mark Twain: Irreverent Writings on Eden, Heaven, and the Flood by America's Master Satirist (9780684824390): Mark Twain, Howard G. Baetzhold, Joseph B. McCullough: Books

Thanks to Daryl Cox
~~~~~
Will Rogers' home place is in Oolagah (north of Tulsa), near the lake that's there...Will seems to focus more on politics... I like Will!

My ancestors didn’t come over on the Mayflower, but they met the boat.

Remember, write to your Congressman. Even if he can’t read, write to him.

Why don’t they pass a Constitutional Amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as Prohibition did, in five years we will have the smartest people on earth.

This country is bigger than Wall Street. If they don’t believe it, show ’em the map.

The platform will always be the same, promise everything, deliver nothing.

I generally give the party in power, whether Republican or Democrat, the more digs because they are generally doing the country more damage.

A flock of Democrats will replace a mess of Republicans. It won’t mean a thing. They will go in like all the rest of ’em. Go in on promises and come out on alibis.

If you ever injected truth into politics you have no politics.

Ain’t it funny how many hundreds of thousands of soldiers we can recruit with nerve. But we can’t find one politician in a million with backbone.

Papers say: “Congress is deadlocked and can’t act.” I think that is the greatest blessing that could befall this country.

They ought to pass a rule in this country in any investigations if a man can’t tell the truth the first time he shouldn’t be allowed to try again.

If Wall Street paid a tax on every “game” they run, we would get enough revenue to run the government on

Thanks to Daryl Cox
~~~~~
And my favorite and right on the money Will Rogers - "I am not a member of any organized party, I am a Democrat".

Thanks to Martha Chapman
~~~~~
"All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner." ~Red Skelton~
~~~~~
Congress Kills D.C. Vouchers - - February 5, 2010
Last month, Congress scoured the spending bill—all 1,000 pages of it—trying to find the most wasteful, pork-filled programs to cut.
They finally found one they could agree on: the D.C. Opportunity Scholarship Program, which provides vouchers that get poor children out of bad and dangerous public schools into good private ones.
Cutting this program is a disgraceful example of how our leaders often pander to special interest groups than protect our most needy citizens.
And it’s not that the voucher program didn’t work. A federal study showed that the mostly black and Hispanic participants were making great academic gains, narrowing the achievement gap. And more than 70 percent of Washingtonians supported the program.
So why did Congress cut it out? The National Education Association wanted them to do so.
So our lawmakers—many of whom have their own kids in private schools—had a tough choice to make: Should they pander to the special interests that fund their campaigns, or help disadvantaged kids?
President Obama—who was the recipient of educational scholarships, and whose daughters attend an elite private school—signed the bill abolishing the program. His own secretary of education, Arnie Duncan, publically acknowledged that the voucher program had been a big success. But he privately told Christian leaders that he could never get it approved in the White House.
Once again, politics prevails; the poor and downtrodden are forced to bow before the vested interests. No wonder there’s a surging populist revolt in America. No wonder the ordinary, hard-working American taxpayer is offended by the arrogance of the cultural elite.
Even the President’s own supporters are outraged. As one voucher mother put it, “We voted for you...we went to the parade, we stood freezing. Why...Why, sir, why?”{quickaction box}
Several senators are asking the same thing. Democrats like Robert Byrd, Diane Feinstein, along with many Republicans, begged that this program be preserved. It has, they said, “provided a lifeline to many lower income students.” But their voices, sadly, were ignored.
I don’t remember the last time I was quite this angry at political chicanery. I’ve traveled to some of the grungiest areas of the District—places most of us would not imagine people could survive in. The gangs reign; the drug lords rule. All those senators had to do was to march out of their comfortable offices and walk about six blocks.
They would have seen the horror of Washington’s inner city. Instead, they gave high-sounding speeches about caring for the poor, and passed multi-billion dollar bills for government handouts.
But a handout that enables people to make their own choices, and provides the same resources available to upper middle-class citizens? Never!
What has happened to our sense of decency—and shame? Free societies cannot survive with this kind of callous disregard for the needs of the people.
At some point, our leaders had better remember that what is good for the cultural elite is also good for the common man. And if we ever lose that belief, we lose the trust that makes free societies possible.

Thanks To Daphne
~~~~~
Some politicians in Congress are proposing a new "tax on financial transactions" ... the last thing our recovering economy needs and another obstacle for America's job creators.

The stock transaction tax would assess a fee on the sale or purchase of any stock, raising transactions costs, forcing businesses overseas, and creating a loophole that only lawyers and lobbyists would benefit from.

Bottom line: this tax would increase the cost of doing business in America, limit opportunities for investors and sacrifice more American jobs.

Not surprisingly, this new tax is backed by Big Labor, and would impose a .25% tax on all stock trades in the misguided hope of raising $150 billion for another stimulus bill.

But this bill won't stimulate the economy -- it will do the exact opposite.

In fact, a similar transaction tax was repealed by Congress in 1966 for the depressing effect it had on the American economy.

Once repealed, costs fell and the number of Americans investing in the stock market dramatically increased -- helping markets grow and prosper.

Thanks to Ben Miller
~~~~~
Did you miss any of the Superbowl commercials? [http://www.youtube.com/superbowl]
~~~~~
And speaking of Commercials, these are the best from the Olympics
[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VSn5Z7EC4ME]
[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yo0ejBHp8UI]
~~~~~
You’re missing a feast for the mind and spirit if you’re not reading Jimmy’s blog [http://jhmalone2.wordpress.com/]
~~~~~
DarynKagan.com - - Olympian Is 5 ½ Months Pregnant!
Kristie Moore received two pieces big news within weeks of each other last summer. She was pregnant and oh, by the way, would she like to join Canada's Olympic Curling team. See how the mom-to-be is making the best of both wonderful worlds. Also, meet the only member of Ethiopia's Olympic Ski team.
Watch Video >>[http://darynkagan.demo.nimbussoftware.com/sports/2010/sp_100218_pregnantolympian.html]

American Gold Medalist Celebrates With Grandfather's Flag
American Seth Westcott has made history at the Vancouver Olympics with back to back snowboard gold medals. See why the flag he used to celebrate means so much to him as he honors his grandfather, a true American hero.

Watch Video >> [http://darynkagan.demo.nimbussoftware.com/sports/2010/sp_100217_grandfathersflag.html]
~~~~~
America is not at war. The military is at war. - - America is at the mall, or watching the movie stars.
~~~~~
Speaking of great warriors; We need heroes, the media gives us idols. Thanks to Gary Foreman for sharing this …

You're a 19 year old kid.
You're critically wounded and dying in the jungle somewhere in the Central Highlands of Viet Nam .
It's November 11, 1967.

LZ (landing zone) X-ray.
Your unit is outnumbered 8-1 and the enemy fire is so intense, from 100 yards away, that your CO (commanding officer) has ordered the MediVac helicopters to stop coming in.
You're lying there, listening to the enemy machine guns and you know you're not getting out.
Your family is half way around the world, 12,000 miles away, and you'll never see them again.
As the world starts to fade in and out, you know this is the day.
Then - over the machine gun noise - you faintly hear that sound of a helicopter.
You look up to see a Huey coming in. But ... It doesn't seem real because no MediVac markings are on it.
Captain Ed Freeman is coming in for you.
He's not MediVac so it's not his job, but he heard the radio call and decided he's flying his Huey down into the machine gun fire anyway.
Even after the MediVacs were ordered not to come.
He's coming anyway.
And he drops it in and sits there in the machine gun fire, as they load 3 of you at a time on board.
Then he flies you up and out through the gunfire to the doctors and nurses and safety.
And, he kept coming back!! 13 more times!! Until all the wounded were out. No one knew until the mission was over that the Captain had been hit 4 times in the legs and left arm.
He took 29 of you and your buddies out that day. Some would not have made it without the Captain and his Huey.
Medal of Honor Recipient, Captain Ed Freeman, United States Air Force, died August 20, 2008, in Boise , Idaho .

May God Rest His Soul.
In the 2002 film We Were Soldiers, which depicted the Battle of Ia Drang, Freeman was portrayed by Mark McCracken. The post office in Freeman's hometown of McLain, Mississippi, was renamed the "Major Ed W. Freeman Post Office" in March 2009.
[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ed_Freeman]
[http://www.mishalov.com/Freeman.html]
[http://dailynightly.msnbc.msn.com/archive/2007/07/11/265756.aspx]
[http://www.snopes.com/politics/military/freeman.asp]
~~~~~
Each week the Defense Department highlights military personnel who have gone above and beyond in the war. [http://www.defenselink.mil/heroes/] - - Leon Caffie - - # Hometown: Gainesville, FL - - # Awarded: Distinguished Service Medal - - When Leon Caffie was drafted into the Army in 1970 during the Vietnam war, he had no idea that it was the beginning of a military career that would span four decades. Nor did he imagine that he would end his career serving as Command Sergeant Major of the U.S. Army Reserves.

Command Sergeant Major Caffie retired January 9, 2010, as one of the last remaining draftees from the Vietnam war still serving in the military today.

Caffie described being drafted in 1970 as "a focus moment, in his life.

"It was inevitable that is was going to happen, he said. "In some aspects I was looking forward to it I wanted to do my duty.

He had already discussed the possibility with his father, who told him "you gotta do what you gotta do, Caffie said. "Not being drafted wasn’t an option.

"He’s my hero, Caffie said of his father. "He’s the person I go to first for advice.

Caffie described the experience of landing in Vietnam as a Private First Class in September of 1970 as "surreal.

"It was 10 p.m. at night, he said. "You would see the tracers coming in, you could see the tracers going out. It makes you think this is the real deal, he said.

"First night in the jungle was an eye opening experience. There wasn’t much sleep. But you learn to adapt, Caffie said.

Having buddies, Caffie said, is key in adjusting to and dealing with a deployment.

"Buddies help you overcome fears, he said. "You depend on your buddies.

Origin and ethnicity weren’t a big part of the bond between buddies, Caffie said. Rather it was that they were soldiers together and depended on each other.

In part it was the relationships he built in the Army that inspired Caffie to stay in the U.S. Army Reserves after returning from Vietnam.

Caffie returned from his deployment to Vietnam in July of 1971. Even though he’d been encouraged by a former First Sergeant he’d served with to stay in active duty, Caffie entered the inactive reserve in 1972. He used the G.I. Bill to go to college.

But he chose to join an Army Reserve unit in Gainesville, Fla., in 1974.

"I missed it, he said. "I missed the esprit de corps. I missed the brotherhood. I missed being a member of a proud organization. I missed the uniform. Those were the driving factors.

For as much as Caffie was present for changes to the U.S. Army Reserves over the past three decades, he did his part to affect change himself.

Working until he reached a level of authority gave him the power to make changes that would benefit the lives of the soldiers below him, he said.

"I saw a need to be inclusive, he said, "regardless of ethnicity or gender.

"Its never been about me. Its always been about the soldiers, he said. "The young men and women who make enormous sacrifices these young kids step forward, raise their hands and say I do.

Caffie deployed to Iraq in November of 2002. Unlike his arrival in Vietnam as a Private First Class, this time Caffie arrived on the ground as a Sergeant Major. The difference between the two experiences, Caffie said, was "drastic. He served in this deployment as the Command Sergeant Major of the 377th Theater Support Command, overseeing 43,500 soldiers, as well as service members from the other branches, he said.

Caffie was faced with a series of challenges in this deployment.

"We were saddled with departures in key positions, he said, which mean he had to "reach down to find people and elevate them to a higher level.

Working in combat support, Caffie used battle focus training on his soldiers, he said. Ultimately, he said, he felt good about the progress they made.

Caffie leaves his career in the military having earned many medals for his service. Too many to enumerate individually, they include the Bronze Star Medal, the Army Commendation Medal, and the Distinguished Service Medal, which honors his service all the way through last decade of his career and his service in Operation Iraqi Freedom and Operation Enduring Freedom.

But the thing Caffie says he will take away more than anything are the faces, the joy, and the laughter of the men and women, --the soldiers he has served with.
~~~~~
The latest from Michael Yon, the foremost “milnews” blogger on the web.
~
Greetings

By now, most people seem to realize that 2010 will be a bloody, decisive year in Afghanistan. A major operation is set to begin. I'll be with 5/2 Stryker Brigade Combat Team for the foreseeable future, but have already been doing missions outside "the box." My first two missions since return were with the U.S. Air Force. I anticipate leaving the wire in less than 24 hours to get back on the battlefield. Three reporters and many soldiers have been killed in the area in about the last month. It's no-kidding combat out there.

Please see the latest: SPECIAL DELIVERY [http://www.michaelyon-online.com/special-delivery.htm].
--
Hello from Afghanistan,

Attended a "ramp ceremony" at Kandahar Airfield this evening honoring two soldiers who were killed yesterday. Their flat draped coffins were loaded onto an Air Force jet for the journey home. They have finished the race. At this moment, they are flying to the United States in a C-17.

The Marjah offensive is set to begin. It could be argued that it has already begun. Intel estimates that about 2,000 mines and IEDs await our troops and that some Taliban plan to stay and fight.

The latest dispatch is up. Please read SEVEN [http://www.michaelyon-online.com/seven.htm].
--
The fighting is on full steam.

FOX news just emailed, saying they will run this photo [http://www.michaelyon-online.com/valentine-s-day-weekend-afghanistan.htm] today: Valentine's Day Weekend, Afghanistan.
--
The Marjah offensive is underway. (The Coalition has given it some silly, difficult to remember name again, and so I just call it the "Marjah Offensive.") It seems as though we are doing well. Importantly, there is some indication that locals in some areas might be turning against the Taliban. This is unclear but something seems afoot, and it's not in favor of the Taliban.

Also, I am posting very timely information on Face book. Often it is realtime. If you have not signed up to my Face book account, you are missing at least 50% of the information.

Please considering supporting this very expensive mission. Without your gift of support, this cannot continue.

The latest dispatch is up. Very detailed with many photos. Please read PATTERNS [http://www.michaelyon-online.com/patterns.htm].
--
Kandahar,

The 5/2 Stryker Brigade Combat Team recently lost a respected soldier. His name was Adam Ray [http://www.michaelyon-online.com/adam-ray.htm]. Please read the summary of events that led to this tragedy.

In order to reach more people around the world about the crucial events unfolding in Afghanistan, media outlets worldwide are free to run my online dispatches on their websites. Price: link back to my main website: www.MichaelYon-Online.com. This offer does not convey any copyright protections or ownership. All copyright protections and ownership are reserved by me. This offer stands until further notice (probably through 2011). Note to readers: you are the ones keeping the engine stoked. Please keep stoking.

Your Writer,

Michael Yon
Kandahar

Please remember that this website accepts no advertisement and is dependent on your support.
Very Respectfully,

PS Please sign up for my Twitter.com updates at "Michael_Yon" [http://twitter.com/Michael_Yon] (not Michael Yon).

http://www.facebook.com/#/MichaelYonFanPage?ref=sgm
~
Posted on Michael Yon’s Face book page:
Command Sergeant Major Peter Smith (1-17 Infantry, 5/2 Stryker Brigade Combat Team), now in Afghanistan, told me a couple months ago that he thought David Bellavia should have been awarded the Medal of Honor for his actions in Fallujah. An ex-Marine who fought in Iraq just sent me this article by David Bellavia.

Our Mission is Finally Accomplished… Anyone Care? [http://davidbellavia.com/2010/our-mission-is-finally-accomplished-anyone-care/]

David Bellavia
[davidbellavia.com]
~
Http://www.michaelyon_online.com/index.php
~~~~~
We’ve Watched:

Sabah: A Love Story - 8 stars
Duplicity - 6 stars
The Taking of Pelham 123 - 6 stars
The Taking of Pelham One Two Three - 6 stars
#1 Ladies Detective Agency - 6 stars
Doctor Takes a Wife - 7.5 stars
The Soloist - 5 stars
Looney, Looney, Looney Bugs Bunny Movie rating: 7.931
Spymate rating: 7.392
Fly Me to the Moon rated this movie: 6.0
WALL-E rated this movie: 10.0
Cash McCall rated this movie: 8.0
Lost: Ssn 1: rated this movie: 8.0
New Street Law: Season 1: Average rating: 6.313
The Man with One Red Shoe rated this movie: 6.0
Daniel's Daughter rating: 6.536
Sex and the Single Girl rating: 6.247
New Street Law: Season 1: Rating 8
School of Life rating: 7.669
Campion: Mystery Mile rated this movie: 8.0
Perfect Opposites rating: 6.078
Against the Ropes rating: 6.165
Angel on My Shoulder rating: 6.298
I Ought to Be in Pictures rating: 5.887
In the Mood rating: 4.961
Her Alibi rating: 6.176
The Duches of Duke Street: rated this movie: 8.0
Walk, Don't Run rating: 7.567
It Happened One Night rated this movie: 10.0
Martin Chuzzlewit: rated this movie: 8.0
~~~~~
We’ve recently read:

Tom Swift and his Motor-Cycle by Victor Appleton
Command Decision by Elizabeth Moon
John Newton: From Disgrace to Amazing Grace by Jonathan Aitken
With the Old Breed: At Peleliu and Okinawa by E.B. Sledge
Night of Thunder: A Bob Lee Swagger Novel by Stephen Hunter
Never fly solo : lead with courage, build trusting partnerships and reach new heights in business by Rob "Waldo" Waldman.
The genius by Jesse Kellerman.
~~~~~
http://www.shelfari.com
http://www.shelfari.com/bugsbleat/shelf
~~~~~
Photos on the front of this week’s “Bleat” include; The L&NW pulling upgrade from McNeil, A snow scene at old Sanders Farm, The Prince’s and McClellan’s waiting to board the L&NW, Our Front Yard Flag, Annette’s Easter porch display, and The Prince’s waving from L&NW #57.
~~~~~
We’ve now got several addresses on the web for "Da Bleat." For the latest issue, go to http://www.bugsbleat.blogspot.com. Other issues can be seen at http://www.bugsbleat1q09.blogspot.com.
Our photos are posted at http://www.bugsbleatphotos.blogspot.com.
If you want to see photos of the April ’08 train wreck in Magnolia, go to http://www.bugsbleattw.blogspot.com/
~~~~~
Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
~~~~~
Be sure and keep Dr. Pat Antoon and his lovely wife Mandy in your prayers.
~~~~~
Recipe(s) of the week - - Gary Carter’s Crawfish Bisque

1 stick butter
1 large onion, chopped
1 teaspoon Liquid Crab boil
Creole seasoning to taste
2 cans cream of celery soup
1 can White Corn, drained
1 pint of half and half
1 (8 oz) package shredded mozzarella cheese
2 packages frozen crawfish tails

Sauté chopped onion in melted butter or margarine until soft. Add crab boil and Creole seasoning to taste. Add soup, corn and half and half. Bring to a soft boil. Add cheese and crawfish tails. Cook until cheese melts and everything is heated through.

May be frozen in airtight container.
~
Egg Plant Casserole - - Betty Crocker via Annette

1 cup shredded cheese
1 medium eggplant
2 tablespoons butter
2 tablespoons flour
1 cup milk
3/4 cup soft bread crumbs
1 tablespoon grated onion
2 eggs, separated
1 tablespoon ketchup
½ teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon pepper

Peel eggplant, cut into small pieces. Cool in a small amount of boiling, salted water until tender. Drain and mash. Melt butter in a saucepan; stir in flour, salt and pepper. Stir, cooking over low heat, until bubbly. Gradually add milk and cook, stirring constantly, until thickened . Add mashed eggplant, shredded cheese, bread crumbs and seasonings.
Beat egg yolks. Add to the eggplant mixture. Beat egg whites until stiff peaks form. Fold into eggplant mixture. Pour mixture into a 2-quart buttered baking dish. Bake at 325 deg; for about 60 minutes, or until center is firm. Serves 4 to 6.
~~~~~
BreakPoint
Collision - Where Worldviews Meet
By Chuck Colson: February 19, 2010

What happens when a sincere Christian and a sincere atheist debate each other honestly, openly, and with passion? A fascinating new documentary shows us.

“Is Christianity good for the world?” That’s the subject of an ongoing debate between renowned atheist Christopher Hitchens and a conservative and sometimes controversial Christian, Douglas Wilson.

What began as a correspondence between the two has led to a co-authored book, a debate tour, and now a fascinating documentary—a kind of behind the scenes look at that tour, featuring interviews with both men.

These interviews achieve a rare level of honesty and insight about what it takes to have faith in the modern world—or, conversely, what it takes not to have faith. The film shows the tremendous level of intellectual preparation that goes into the debates. And interestingly, even though Hitchens insists that no “thinking person” could believe the tenets of Christianity, the film also shows that he’s come to have a grudging respect for his devout opponent.

According to Hitchens, Douglas Wilson genuinely understands that Christians and secularists have some fundamentally different beliefs about morality because Christians believe that “the will of God is involved.”

The paradox is that even though Hitchens finds this a wrong and dangerous belief, he genuinely appreciates it when Christians are open about it and don’t try to blend in with the secularist crowd. He says Wilson is a “huge improvement” over other Christians that he’s known because Wilson really believes what he says, without hypocrisy or prevarication. “I know where I am with him” is how Hitchens puts it.

For his part, Wilson teases that Hitchens “would have made a very good Puritan.” He appreciates that Hitchens has some sort of innate sense about what’s right and wrong. But he keeps reminding Hitchens that he’s not appealing to any overarching standard of right and wrong when he talks about the subject, so this makes no sense. In fact, Wilson says that Hitchens is using the “coherent morality” developed by the Judeo-Christian worldview in order to criticize that very worldview.

For all their cooperation and good fellowship, Hitchens makes the stakes clear when he declares, “One of us not just has to lose the argument but has to admit real moral defeat. I think it should be him.”

The film takes its title from Wilson’s remark, “Basically a debate like this is more a collision of lives than it is an exchange of mere views.” Christians can learn a lot from watching this collision of lives. For one thing, we can learn about how to argue graciously while at the same time taking a strong, uncompromising stand for our beliefs. If an atheist as firm as Hitchens respects that kind of stand, that should tell us something.

The film ends on an intriguing note. Hitchens, who previously called the faith a “wicked cult,” admits that even if he had the power to “drive it out of the world,” he wouldn’t do it. Is this because he’s come to know one sincere, well-educated Christian? Or he grudgingly approves of the good works Christians do?

Collision doesn’t answer that question. But it does hint at what’s possible when such Christians know what they believe, and articulate their faith honestly and winsomely. (Note: This film contains occasional profanity.)

Further Reading and Information

Collision Movie Website [http://www.collisionmovie.com/]

Collision: Is Religion Absurd or Good for the World? - Douglas Wilson and Christopher Hitchens | Huffington Post | October 20, 2009

Is Christianity Good for the World? - Douglas Wilson and Christopher Hitchens | Christianity Today | May 2007

Faith No More - Christopher Hitchens | Slate | October 26, 2009

The Hitchens Transcript - Marilyn Sewell | Portland Monthly | January 2010

A New Breed of Atheist: The Anti-Theist - Chuck Colson | BreakPoint Commentary | August 2, 2007

Copyright © 2010 Prison Fellowship. All Rights Reserved _ _ http://www.breakpoint.org/
~
Residents of Columbia County, Arkansas are represented in Congress by:

Senator Blanche Lambert Lincoln (D_ AR)
Phone 202_224_4843
FAX 202_228_1371
http://lincoln.senate.gov/contact/email.cfm
~
Senator Mark Pryor (D_ AR)
Phone 202_224_2353
FAX 202_228_0908
http://pryor.senate.gov/contact/
~
Representative Michael A. Ross (D _ 04)
Phone 202_225_3772
FAX 202_225_1314
http://ross.house.gov/?sectionid=77§iontree=7677
Other states congresspersons can be found at: [http://www.visi.com/juan/congress/]
~~~~~
Words of the Day:
veritable: real; true; genuine.
frangible: capable of being broken; easily broken.
plenipotentiary: invested with full power.
evince: to show in a clear manner.
panjandrum: an important or self-important official.
machination: a crafty scheme intended to accomplish some usually evil end.
verboten: forbidden; prohibited.
rapacious: grasping; greedy.
penchant: a strong liking.
mondegreen: a word or phrase resulting from a misinterpretation, as in misheard lyrics.
gelid: extremely cold; icy.
aubade: a song greeting the dawn.
pecuniary: relating to money.
distrait: divided or withdrawn in attention, especially because of anxiety.
eschew: to shun; to avoid.
ignoramus: an ignorant person; a dunce.
approbation: formal or official approval; also, praise.
vitiate: to make faulty or imperfect.
tarradiddle: a fib; also, pretentious nonsense.
coquetry: flirtation.
quietus: final acquittance, as from debt; also, rest; death.
cupidity: eager or excessive desire, especially for wealth.
billet-doux: a love letter.
vivify: to endue with life; to enliven.
inexorable: unyielding; relentless.
hypnagogic: inducing sleep; of or pertaining to drowsiness.
duplicity: deliberate deceptiveness in behavior or speech.
gastronome: a lover of good food and drink.
from http://dictionary.reference.com/wordoftheday/
~~~~~
"A certain amount of opposition is a great help to a man. Kites rise against, not with the wind." - John Neal

"Courage is doing what you're afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared." - Eddie Rickenbacker

"To be content with what one has is the greatest and truest of riches." - Cicero

"The world of politics is always twenty years behind the world of thought." - John Jay Chapman

"One's friends are that part of the human race with which one can be human." - George Santayana

"Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes." - Carl Jung

"Creativity requires the courage to let go of certainties." - Erich Fromm

"Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own." - Robert Heinlein

"Life is a gift, and it offers us the privilege, opportunity, and responsibility to give something back by becoming more." - Anthony Robbins

"A highbrow is a person educated beyond his intelligence." - James Brander Matthews

"Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home." - Edith Sitwell

"They are able because they think they are able." - Virgil

"Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old."- Franz Kafka

"I don't pretend to know what love is for everyone, but I can tell you what it is for me; love is knowing all about someone, and still wanting to be with them more than any other person, love is trusting them enough to tell them everything about yourself, including the things you might be ashamed of, love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone, but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you." - Author Unknown

"Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder." - President George Washington

"Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep." - Scott Adams

"I am always longing to be with men more excellent than myself." - Charles Lamb

"The most valuable of all talents, that of never using two words where one will do." - Thomas Jefferson

"Science is what you know, philosophy is what you don't know." - Bertrand Russell

"For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul." - Judy Garland

"Courage is fear holding on a minute longer." - George S. Patton

"The love that lasts the longest is the love that is never returned."- Somerset Maugham

"Employ thy time well if thou meanest to gain leisure." - Benjamin Franklin
"The greatest weakness of most humans is their hesitancy to tell others how much they love them while they're still alive." - O.A. Battista

"Organization can never be a substitute for initiative and for judgment." - Louis D. Brandeis

"Whenever you see a successful business, someone made a courageous decision." - Peter Drucker

"If you're strong enough, there are no precedents." - F. Scott Fitzgerald
~~~~~
BREAKING CHRISTIAN NEWS
http://breakingchristiannews.com/

The Tim Tebow Ad: the Rest of the Story
Aimee Herd (February 9, 2010)

"The first thing I would say to you if you have a surprise pregnancy is God loves you…God loves you. And He loves your baby…" -Bob Tebow

If you're like me, you were keeping an eye out for the much-talked-about Tim Tebow ad on Sunday, which had its debut during the Super Bowl.

Tim Tebow ad - The 30-second spot seemed to fly by in the midst of all the other commercials, but at its conclusion, viewers were encouraged to log onto www.focusonthefamily.com to watch it again and to view a full interview with Tim's parents, Bob and Pam Tebow.

It was during that interview when Pam went into much greater detail of her "high-risk pregnancy" with Tim, how the doctors told her he wasn't a baby but "just a tumor," and that she should abort to save her own life.

The two missionaries, serving in the Philippines with their four other children, had already committed, however, to trusting God with each new life He gave them, and Pam eventually gave birth to a healthy baby boy, despite the doctors' dark warnings.

Toward the end of the interview, Focus on the Family president, Jim Daly encouraged Pam and Bob to speak to those who might be pregnant and considering an abortion.

"I would say that baby's not a mistake even though it might seem that way to her, and that God will enable her to do the right thing... and that there's help for her," Pam Tebow said. "There are so many people, so many crisis pregnancy centers across the country just waiting to encourage someone in her position..."

Bob Tebow became visibly emotional as he added, "The first thing I would say to you if you have a surprise pregnancy is God loves you…God loves you. And He loves your baby. There are lots of people that will help you—don't kill your baby."

If the commercial went by a little too quickly for you to catch on Sunday, you can watch it again, and the entire interview with Pam and Bob Tebow, at the source link provided.

Source: Jim Daly – Focus on the Family

310 2nd Ave SE
Albany, Oregon 97321
541_928_2642
E-mail editor@breakingchristiannews.com
US Orders: 1_866_358_7426
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GCF: Whiskey from Home!

Emailed to me from another humor list (Joanna's Jokes) -Tom To subscribe to Joanna's Jokes, send a blank email to: JoannasJokes-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

If this was forwarded to you, please consider your own subscription to Good Clean Fun. It's free! Just send an email to: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
------------------------------------------

Lucas was arrested for selling home-stilled whiskey. His lawyer put him on the stand and asked the jurors to look carefully at his client.

"Now, Ladies and Gentleman of the jury," concluded the lawyer, "you've looked carefully at the defendant. Can you sit there in the jury and honestly believe that if my client had ANY whiskey he would sell it?"

He was acquitted.

_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me from another humor list (Joanna's Jokes) -Tom To subscribe to Joanna's Jokes, send a blank email to: JoannasJokes-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
------------------------------------------

GCF: On the Sidelines

A wife was sitting on the living-room couch watching her favorite show on the Food Network when her husband walked in.

"Why do you watch those food shows?" he asked. "You don't even cook."

Glaring back at him, she asked, "Then why do you watch football?"
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me another humor list (Tickled by Tony - Clean) -Tom Subscribe to the Tickled by Tony list by sending an email to: tickledbytony_clean-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
------------------------------------------

GCF: Making Things Smooth

My wife I and are approaching our 76th birthdays, and for the most part, we feel fine.

A few weeks ago we had just gotten into bed when I noticed my wife taking an extra amount of time smoothing out her nightgown, then pulling up the covers and smoothing them out, and then finally going to work smoothing out her pillow.

After watching all this activity for a while, I finally asked, "What are you doing?"

"Well," she replied, "I don't like to sleep on wrinkles."

I replied. "At our age, how can you avoid it?"
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me another humor list (Tickled by Tony - Clean) -Tom Subscribe to the Tickled by Tony list by sending an email to: tickledbytony_clean-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
------------------------------------------

GCF: Office Irritant

Dave irritated everyone in our office. Whether it was the tone of his voice or his condescending attitude, we all steered clear.

He must have suspected he was annoying because he asked a co-worker, "Why does everybody take an instant dislike to me?"

Larry responded, "It saves time."
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me from another humor list (Joanna's Jokes) -Tom To subscribe to Joanna's Jokes, send a blank email to: JoannasJokes-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
------------------------------------------

GCF: Truth in Advertising

Driving along a country road, I ignored a Bridge Out sign and continued on. But in a few miles I came to a stop: the road was completely barricaded. So I turned around and retraced my route. That's when I saw this sign on the back of the first: "It was, wasn't it?"
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, Larry) -Tom
------------------------------------------

GCF: Parking Lot Rules

(How many of these can you relate to?)

Rule #1 - When waiting for a parking spot, stop in the middle of the road, don't signal, and orient your car diagonally to prevent others from passing.

Rule #2 - Always park on the lines, taking up as many spots as possible. Diagonal parking is preferred.

Rule #3 - In a crowded parking lot, if you find a spot and have the opportunity to pull through to an adjacent one, drive up half way and stop on the line, taking both.

Rule #4 - As you pull into a spot, if you see that the space ahead of you is empty and you see another driver signaling to take it, pull though and take it from him.

Rule #5 - Always park close enough to the adjacent car so that the other driver must grease up with Vaseline to squeeze into his/her car.

Rule #6 - When getting out of your car, hit the adjacent vehicle with your door really hard. If you leave a dent, wait for a car, which is painted the same color as yours, to drive down the aisle looking for a place to park. Then back out, giving up your spot like "Mr. Good Guy" and park somewhere else.

Rule #7 - When driving through the parking lot, ignore the painted lanes and drive diagonally from one end to another at a high rate of speed.

Rule #8 - When stopped in front of a store and waiting for a friend/relative to make a purchase, make sure that you are stopped in the middle of the road. The same rules applies to picking-up and discharging passengers.

Rule #9 - When a vehicle from the opposite direction is signaling and waiting for a parking space, position your car so that you are in his way and let the car behind you take it.

Rule #10 - If you don't see a speed limit sign posted in the malls parking lot, there isn't any!

Rule #11 - When walking back to your car, if you notice other shoppers walking past your car to get to theirs, press the buttons on your chaconne remote so that your car's alarm makes a sudden loud "BLOOD BLEEP" that scares the mess out of them.

Rule #12 - If the vehicle in front of you stops to let a pedestrian cross or another vehicle turn, pull into the lane of opposite traffic and attempt to pass him.

Rule #13 - deleted...for those who are superstitious

Rule #14 - When exiting a shopping center into a busy road, exit through the narrow "ENTER ONLY" driveway, stick the nose of the car into traffic, and wait.

Rule #15 - When driving through a parking lot with alternating one-way aisles and angled parking spots, drive the wrong way. Then when you see a parking space, take 20 minutes to do a 12-point turn to pull into it.

Rule #16 - Always leave your shopping cart behind or tightly between parked vehicles.

Rule #17 - Empty your ashtrays on the ground in shopping center parking lots. While you’re at it, dump out all the garbage too including that Wendy's or McDonald's bag sitting in the back seat from breakfast.

Rule #18 - If you are forced to change an infant's diaper in a parking lot, leave the soiled diaper under the car next to you.

Rule #19 - When another vehicle is waiting for you to pull out of a spot in a crowded parking lot, take your time. Adjust the mirrors, your seat, and the radio. Roll down your window, light a cigarette, and eat your lunch. Feel free to go through your shopping bags and look at what you just bought.

Rule #20 - When pulling into a parking spot, if there is a shopping cart in the way, lightly tap it with your bumper and send it rolling into an adjacent car. Then, when you step out, if the cart is still too close, push it down the parking lot aisle and let it go. While the cart is flying solo, turn around and walk toward the stores.

Rule #21 - When walking back to your car in a busy shopping center, gesture to other drivers waiting for a spot to make them think that you are getting in the car and leaving. Then walk between the cars to the next aisle and do it again.

Rule #22 - When holiday shopping at the mall, which requires you to load your bags into the car and go back in to do more shopping, do NOT tell the driver who is sitting patiently watching you load your car and signaling for your spot.
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me another humor list (The Jokester) -Tom Subscribe to The Jokester's list send an email to: Jokes-From-Dan-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
------------------------------------------

GCF: Speak to Me

Six months after a waiter died, his widow went to see a medium, who promised she would contact the man in the great beyond.

During the séance, the widow was sure she saw her husband standing in the corner, dressed in his waiter's outfit.

"Arnold!" she cried. "Come closer and speak to me!"

A ghostly voice drifted from the corner ... "I can't. It's not my table."
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me another humor list (Good Clean Funnies List) -Tom To subscribe The Good Clean Funnies List, (not to be confused with this list, which is Good Clean Fun) send an email to: gcfl-request@gcfl.net with subject = add

------------------------------------------

GCF: A Guessing Game

To pass the time while our plane was being de-iced, the flight attendants played a trivia game with the passengers. They asked us to guess the total number of years the three of them had worked for the airlines.

After an attendant collected our estimates, we heard the announcement:

"The correct answer is 26 years. For the two people who came closest with 28 years, we have prizes. And for the passenger in seat 12F who guessed 85 years, would you please step off the plane once we are airborne."
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me another humor list (Tickled by Tony - Clean) -Tom Subscribe to the Tickled by Tony list by sending an email to: tickledbytony_clean-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
------------------------------------------

GCF: Domestically Challenged

Although a bright and able man, my husband is almost completely helpless when faced with even the simplest domestic chore.

One day, in exasperation, I pointed out to him that our friend, Betty, had taught her husband Frank to cook, sew and do laundry, and that if anything ever happened to Betty, Frank would be able to care for himself.

Then I said, "What would you do if anything happened to me?"

After considering that possibility for a moment, my husband said happily, "I'd move in with Frank."
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me another humor list (Tickled by Tony - Clean) -Tom Subscribe to the Tickled by Tony list by sending an email to: tickledbytony_clean-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
------------------------------------------

GCF: TV Repair

As an engineer in an upscale hotel, I was asked to repair or replace the television in a guest room. When I arrived, the couple was watching a picture one-third the size of the screen.

I knew all our spare sets were in use, so I figured what the heck - I struck the side of the TV with the heel of my hand. The picture returned to full size.

"Look, honey," said the wife to her husband. "He went to the same repair school as you."
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me from another humor list (Clean Luffs) -Tom Subscribe to Clean Luffs at the website: http://www.gophercentral.com/
------------------------------------------

GCF: Need Glasses?

I believe my little daughter wants a pair of glasses. I don't know why she does. Perhaps glasses are now "cool" to have in school? But though she sees just fine, she still says she needs glasses.

I took her to the eye doctor just to check it out though. She was asked to read the bottom row of letters on the eye chart. She said, "All right, I can see the 'O' and the 'P' and the 'T,' but not the 'N' and the 'Z.'"
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me from another humor list (Daily Humor) -Tom To subscribe to Daily Humor, send a blank email to: Daily-Humor-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
------------------------------------------

GCF: Who Did Your Hair?

"Good heavens! Who did your hair? It looks like a wig!"

"It is a wig."

"Really? You could never tell."
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me from another humor list (Clean Luffs) -Tom Subscribe to Clean Luffs at the website: http://www.gophercentral.com/
------------------------------------------

GCF: In a Fight

I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face!"

I said, "You'll be sorry."

He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?"

I said, "Well, It's not very absorbent and you won't be able to get into the corners very well."
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me from another humor list (Clean Luffs) -Tom Subscribe to Clean Luffs at the website: http://www.gophercentral.com/
------------------------------------------

GCF: At the Restaurant

My husband and I decided to take our two children, then ages seven and three, to our favorite "adult" restaurant for the first time. The younger child refused to stay in her seat and danced around our table. Her sister, tears rolling down her face, laughed loudly at the three-year-old's antics and pounded the table.

Beet-red with embarrassment, my husband warned them through clenched teeth, "If you don't start behaving, you'll never eat out with us again!"

The man at the next table leaned over to his wife. "Look dear," he said. "Quality time!"
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, Wish) -Tom
------------------------------------------

GCF: At the UPS Store
I work at a UPS Store and last week, a couple guys needed an item shipped. What they wanted to know was how quickly it could be shipped. What they actually asked was "How fast can it go?" whereupon I answered, "Oh, about 3 miles an hour." Took them a second and then I had them.
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me from another humor list (Daily Humor) -Tom
To subscribe to Daily Humor, send a blank email to: Daily-Humor-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
------------------------------------------

GCF: At the Social Security Office

Overheard in a Social Security office:

"I'd like to apply for Disability, please."

"What is your disability?"

"I'm having trouble with my eyes."

"What kind of eye trouble?"

"I can't see myself going to work."
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me from another humor list (Daily Humor) -Tom To subscribe to Daily Humor, send a blank email to: Daily-Humor-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
------------------------------------------

GCF: Baseball Quote

At the UPS cargo phone center where I worked, a woman called and said, "I need a baseball quote."

I immediately answered with Yogi Berra's famous "It ain't over 'til it's over!"

There was a brief moment of silence before the woman asked, "What was that?"

"You asked me for a baseball quote, and that was the first thing that came into my head."

"Oh ... my husband told me to call and get a baseball quote."

"Does he want to ship something?"

"Yes."

"Maybe he meant a ballpark figure?"
_ ____________________________ _
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / "I am a marvelous housekeeper. \ /
\ _/ Every time I leave a man, \_ /
/ / I keep his house." --- Zsa Zsa Gabor \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / A synonym is a word \ /
\ _/ you use in place of \_ /
/ / one you can't spell. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Never put off until tomorrow, \ /
\ _/ what you can forget about forever.\_ /
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / Give a man a fish \ \_/ ////
\ / and he will eat for a day. \ /
\ _/ Teach a man to fish and he will \_ /
/ / sit in a boat drinking beer all day. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / I'm writing a book. \ /
\ _/ I've got the page numbers done. \_ /
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / When I was born, God asked me \ \_/ ////
\ / what kind of brain I wanted. \ /
\ _/ I thought he said "train", \_ /
/ / and answered "a slow one". \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Why do you press harder \ /
\ _/ on a remote-control when you \_ /
/ / know the battery is dead? \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / \ /
\ _/ A good pun is its own reword. \_ /
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / It is when we forget ourselves \ /
\ _/ that we do things that are \_ /
/ / most likely to be remembered. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / I don't mind getting old, \ /
\ _/ it's the side effects I hate. \_ /
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / \ /
\ _/ Does the reverse side \_ /
/ / also have a reverse side? \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / I was once in a spelling bee, \ /
\ _/ but I lost because \_ /
/ / the other contastents cheeted. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Never believe anything until \ /
\ _/ it has been officially denied. \_ /
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / My boss hates "yes" men \ /
\ _/ and I have to agree with him. \_ /
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / You can't have everything. \ /
\ _/ Where would you put it? \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Failure is not the worst \ /
\ _/ thing in the world. \_ /
/ / The very worst is not to try. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / A surplus is when politicians \ /
\ _/ can't decide on where \_ /
/ / to waste all our money. \ \
_ ____________________________ _
/ )| Thomas S. Ellsworth |( \
/ / | tellswor@kcbx.net | \ \
_( (_ | http://www.kcbx.net/~tellswor | _) )_
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_| ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
WARNING BEWARE OF TERRORIST GROUPS IN CHURCH

Latest news reports are that five terrorist cell groups have been operating in many of our churches.. They have been identified as: Bin Sleepin, Bin Arguin, Bin Fightin, Bin Complainin, and Bin Missin.

Their leader, Lucifer Bin Workin, trained these groups to destroy the Body of Christ. The plan is to come into the church disguised as Christians and to work within the church to discourage, disrupt, and destroy..

However, there have been reports of a sixth group. A tiny cell known by the name Bin Prayin is actually the only effective counter terrorism force in the church.. Unlike other terrorist cells, the Bin Prayin team does not blend in with whoever and whatever comes along.

Thanks to Aunt Jeanette (via Annette)
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From the diary of a Pre-School Teacher

My five-year old students are learning to read. Yesterday one of them pointed at a picture in a zoo book and said, "Look at this! It's a frickin' elephant!" I took a deep breath, then asked..."What did you call it?" "It's a frickin' elephant! It says so on the picture!" And so it does...

" A f r i c a n Elephant "

Hooked on phonics! Ain't it wonderful? Now that's funny, I don't care who you are.

Thanks to Daphne
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THE ABILITY TO MAKE AND UNDERSTAND PUNS IS THE HIGHEST LEVEL OF LANGUAGE DEVELOPMENT

Here are the 10 first place winners in the International Pun Contest:

1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The flight attendant looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!

3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it immediately sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron." The other says "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."

5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?", they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said," I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

7. A woman has identical twins and is forced to give them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain ; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're identical twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

8. A group of friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent Florist friars.

9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good) a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Thanks to Ron Huett
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A Cajun who died went to hell.

The devil assigned him the usual punishment...put him in the mass pit where the heat was melting others. The devil came back sometime later surprised to find the Cajun just sitting around, not even misting, much less sweating. "How come you're not so much as sweating here where everyone else is screaming for relief from the heat?"

The Cajun laughed and said, "Man, I was raised in de bayous of Sout Looziana. Dis ain't nothin' but Spring in Morgan City to me!"

The devil decided to really put the Cajun through it. He put him in a sealed off cave in the pit with open blazes and four extra furnaces blasting. When he came back, days later, the Cajun was sitting pretty, had barely begun to bead up with sweat. The devil was outraged.
"How is this possible!? You should be melted to a shrieking puddle in these conditions!."


The Cajun laughed even harder than before. "Hey, man! I don tole you. I was raised in Sout Looziana. You tink dis is heat?! Dis ain't nothin' but August in Cow Island !"

So the devil thought, 'Alright, a little reverse ought to do the trick.' He put the Cajun into a corner or hell where no heat ever reached. It was freezing and to add to the Cajun's misery, he added massive icebergs and blasting frozen air. When he returned, the Cajun was shivering, ice hung from every part of him but he was grinning like it was Christmas.

Exasperated, the devil asked "HOW!? How is it possible?! You're impervious to heat and here you sit in conditions you can't be used to...freezing cold and yet you're happier than if you were in heaven. WHY?!"

The Cajun kept grinning and asked, "Don't dis mean de Saints don won da Super Bowl?"

Thanks to Dapnhe
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While waiting for my first appointment in the reception room of a new dentist, I noticed his certificate, which bore his full name. Suddenly, I remembered that a tall, handsome boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 30 years ago. Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was too old to have been my classmate.

After he had examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended the local high school.
"Yes," he replied.
"When did you graduate?" I asked.
He answered, "In 1964."
"Why, you were in my class!" I exclaimed.

He looked at me closely and then asked, "What did you teach?"

Thanks to Waneta
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Senior Moment

"Where is my Sunday paper?" the irate customer calling the newspaper office loudly demanded, wanting to know where her Sunday edition was.

"Ma'am," said the newspaper employee, "today is Saturday. The Sunday paper is not delivered until tomorrow, on Sunday."
There was quite a long pause on the other end of the phone, followed by a ray of recognition, as she was heard to mutter, "Well, that's why no one was at church today!"

Received from Deane.

(_:][:_)

Dangerous Criminal

One night, a lady stumbled into the police station with a black eye. She claimed she heard a noise in her back yard and went to investigate. The next thing she knew, she was hit in the eye and knocked out cold.
An officer was sent to her house to investigate, and he returned 1-1/2 hours later with a black eye.
"Did you get hit by the same person?" his captain asked.
"No," he replied. "I stepped on the same rake."

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

(_:][:_)

Head Son

A man was waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor came and informed the dad that his son was born without a torso, arms, or legs. The son was just a head!
But the dad loved his son and raised him as well as he could. Twenty-one years later, the son was old enough for his first drink. The dad took him to a bar, tearfully told him he was proud of him, and ordered the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously, the boy took his first sip of alcohol.
Swoooop! A torso popped out!
The bar was dead silent, then burst into a whoop of joy. The father, shocked, begged his son to drink again. The patrons chanted, "Take another drink! Take another drink!" The bartender shook his head in dismay.
Swoooop! Two arms popped out!
The bar went wild. The father, crying and wailing, begged his son to drink again. The patrons chanted, "Take another drink! Take another drink!" But the bartender ignored the whole affair.
By this time, the boy was getting tipsy. With his new hands, he reached down, grabbed the drink, and guzzled the last of it.
Swoooop! Two legs popped out.
The bar was in chaos. The father wept with joy. The boy stood up on his new legs. He stumbled to the left. He stumbled to the right. Then he stumbled through the front door and into the street, where a truck ran him over.
The bar fell silent. The father moaned with grief. The bartender merely sighed and said, "He should have quit while he was a head."

(_:][:_)

Cure for Lateness

Bob had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work.
After a few weeks of this, his boss was mad and threatened to fire him if he didn't do something about it.
So Bob went to his doctor, who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went to bed. He got a great night's sleep and actually beat the alarm in the morning. After a leisurely breakfast, he cheerfully drove to work.
"Boss," he said, "the pill my doctor prescribed actually worked!"
"That's all fine," said the boss, "but where were you yesterday?"

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

(_:][:_)

Subliminal Advertising: Does it work?

Q. Does subliminal advertising work?

A. That's an interesting question. (Send us money.)

The American public was first introduced to the idea of subliminal advertising in 1957 by James M. Vicary. In a press conference announcing the formation of the Subliminal Projection Company, Vicary claimed that he was able to increase sales of popcorn and Coke through the use of subliminal advertising. (Send us lots of money.)
According to Vicary, during a six-week test in a movie theater, he was able to drive up sales of popcorn by 57.5% and sales of Coke by 18.1% simply by flashing the slogans "drink Coke" and "eat popcorn" over the movie for 1/3,000th of a second every five seconds. (You want to send us money.)
As plausible as his assertions might have been, there was little evidence to support them. (Send us money.) For one thing, Vicary refused to reveal where he conducted his experiment or document it in any meaningful way. What's more, psychologists who performed similar experiments concluded that a subliminal ad was no more compelling than a billboard glimpsed from the corner of the eye. (Send us your money.)
In an effort to vindicate his claim, Vicary agreed to run the subliminal message "telephone now" during a Canadian broadcast. Like other documented cases, the experiment failed. Telephone usage didn't increase noticeably, and not a single viewer guessed Vicary's message. (Your wallet seems a little too bulky. Maybe you should reduce it's size... Send us money.)
While neither this experiment nor previous experiments disproved conclusively the effectiveness of subliminal ads, American broadcasters were so convinced of the ineffectiveness of subliminal messages that they simply volunteered not to run them. (You have an uncontrollable urge to send us money.)
BTW, If you're still unconvinced and would like to see more research on the subject, you'll be happy to know that we're running our own little subliminal experiment. We can't tell you about it now, but in the coming weeks we'll reveal our findings.

By the way, if you ever need to reach GCFL--for any reason--our mailing address is:

GCFL
Box 100
Harvest, AL 35749
USA

(Source: THE STRAIGHT DOPE Column by Cecil Adams)

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Good Reason

A man bought a new Mercedes to celebrate his wife leaving him and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive.
The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair, and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him.
"There's no way they can catch a Mercedes," he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100 -- but then the reality of the situation hit him. "What am I doing?" he thought and pulled over.
The cop came up to him, took his license without a word, and examined it and the car. The officer said, "It's been a long hard day, this is the end of my shift, and it's Friday the 13th. I don't feel like more paperwork, I don't need the frustration or the overtime, so if you can give me a really good excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go."
The guy thinks about it for a second and says, "Last week my nagging wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back!"
"Have a nice weekend," said the officer.
Received from ArcaMax Jokes.

(_:][:_)

Pass It Along

My husband, Michael, and I were at a restaurant with his boss, a rather stern older man. When Michael began a tale, which I was sure he had told before, I gave him a kick under the table. There was no response, so I gave him another poke. Still the story went on. Suddenly he stopped, grinned and said, "Oh, but I've told you this one before, haven't I?"
We all chuckled and changed the subject. Later, on the dance floor, I asked my husband why it had taken him so long to get my message.
"What do you mean?" he replied. "I cut the story off as soon as you kicked me."
"But I kicked you twice and it still took you awhile to stop!"
Suddenly we realized what had happened. Sheepishly we returned to our table. The boss smiled and said, "Don't worry. After the second kick I figured it wasn't for me, so I passed it along!"
Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

(_:][:_)

Marine Recruiter

Serving as a Marine recruiter in western North Carolina, I found a young man who met all the requirements and was ready to enlist. I explained the importance of being truthful on the application, and he began filling out his paper work. But when he got to the question "Do you own any foreign property or have any foreign financial interests?" he looked up at me with a worried expression. "Well," he confessed, "I do own a Toyota."

We enlisted him the next day.

-- Contributed to Reader's Digest, "Humor In Uniform," by MSgt. Patrick L. Jacks
Received from Ed.

(_:][:_)

Shhhh!

On a visit to the library I happened to notice a man and a woman, both deaf, signing with intense gestures, apparently in a heated debate. The man said something; and the woman seemed upset. She started signing her reply very fast, to the point where the man couldn't understand a word; she also signed in big, wide gestures, which is the equivalent of volume.
Finally, looking strained, her companion took her hands, "silencing" her. Then he signed, very small and slowly: "You don't have to shout, I'm not blind."
Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

(_:][:_)

Maritime Museum

Some midshipmen were tasked at the maritime museum to do the "dirty work" of restoring a 60-year-old destroyer. One day the Navy sent a crew of 20 men, while the Marines sent a crew of three.
The curator teased one of the Navy midshipman, saying, "You mean it takes twenty Navy guys to do the work of only three Marines?"
"Sir, no sir," he snapped back. "The truth is, sir, it takes six or seven of us to supervise each one of those Marines!"
Received from James.

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New Policeman

A salesman, tired of his job, gave it up to become a policeman. Several months later, a friend asked him how he liked his new role.
"Well," he replied, "the pay is good and the hours aren't bad, but what I like best is that the customer is always wrong."
Received from Laugh & Lift.

(_:][:_)

Housekeeping Husband

My friend's husband is always telling her that housekeeping would be a snap if only she would organize her time better. Recently he had a chance to put his theory into practice while his wife was away.
When I popped in one evening to see how he was managing, he crowed, "I made a cake and frosted it; washed the kitchen windows; cleaned all the cupboards; scrubbed the kitchen floor, walls, and ceiling; and even had a bath."
I was about to concede that perhaps he was a better manager than his wife, when he added sheepishly, "When I was making the chocolate frosting, I forgot to turn off the mixer before taking the beaters out of the bowl, so I had to do all the rest."
Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

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Artist's Sketch

Artist Pablo Picasso surprised a burglar at work in his new chateau. The intruder got away, but Picasso told the police he could do a rough sketch of what he looked like. On the basis of his drawing, the police arrested a mother superior, the minister of finance, a washing machine, and the Eiffel tower.
Received from ArcaMax Jokes.

(_:][:_)

Passwords for Kids

My kids love going to the Web, and they keep track of their passwords by writing them on Post-it notes. I noticed their Disney password was "MickeyMinnieGoofyPluto," and so I asked why it was so long. "Because,"my son explained, "they say it has to have at least four characters."

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

(_:][:_)

First I Got

Elmer says, "First, I got tonsillitis, followed by appendicitis and pneumonia. After that I got erysipelas with hemachromatosis. Following that I got poliomyelitis and finally ended up with neuritis. Then they gave me hypodermics and inoculations."

Calvin says, "Boy, you had quite a time!"

Elmer replies, "I'll say! I thought I'd never pull through that spelling test."

Received from You Make Me Laugh.

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TV Program

One night, my husband, Lee, a retired Army colonel, was watching a program on TV about paratroopers. As a D-Day jumper began to comment, my husband exclaimed, "That's Jack Norton! I served in both Korea and Vietnam with him."

After a few minutes of silence, Lee quietly remarked, "You know you're getting old when your friends start showing up on the History Channel!"

- from Reader's Digest, "Humor In Uniform," by Sherry H. Fair

Received from Doc's Daily Chuckle.

(_:][:_)

Cute Things Kids Say

The girls were heading out for a women's dinner at church when my little four-year-old granddaughter asked her mom why the baby couldn't stay home with Dad like the other kids. Her mom explained that it was because she needed to feed the baby.

The little girl replied, almost like she was thinking out loud: "Oh yeah, that's right, you have the nursers, and Dad has nursers too, but his don't work ... they are just for looks!"

Received from Katherine C. Frater.

(_:][:_)

Child Leash

While watching my grandson's baseball game, I saw a young mother with her toddler on one of those child leashes. She was talking with another mom about an incident that happened earlier that morning. Her little chihuahua was sick, and she had raised people's eyes as she walked into the vet's office with her dog in her arms and her child on a leash! All I could think was, "What's wrong with this picture!"

Received from Larry DuBois.

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Church Bulletin Announcement

The Building Committee has been informed that opened sugar packets are being found in the nursery area. We have had some serious problems with ants in the past and would like to avoid any recurrences if possible. Coffee drinkers, please dispose of these packets properly. If you are a coffee drinker but can't read yet, please have your parents explain this to you.

Received from Roger Key.

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Dangling Participles

- The burglar was about 30 years old, white, 5' 10," with wavy hair weighing about 150 pounds.

- The family lawyer will read the will tomorrow at the residence of Mr. Hannon, who died June 19 to accommodate his relatives.

- Mrs. Shirley Baxter, who went deer hunting with her husband, is very proud that she was able to shoot a fine buck as well as her husband.

- Organ donations from the living reached a record high last year, outnumbering donors who are dead for the first time.

- The dog was hungry and made the mistake of nipping a 2-year-old that was trying to force feed it in his ear.

- We spent most of our time sitting on the back porch watching the cows playing Scrabble and reading.

- Hunting can also be dangerous, as in the case of pygmies hunting elephants armed only with spears.

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

(_:][:_)

GCFL Donation Drive Starts Today

It's that time again! About once every six months or so, we humbly ask for a small donation to keep things running here at GCFL.net.

Wait! Before you run off to unsubscribe from the list thinking, "I thought they said this thing was free!!!" let me reassure you: GCFL IS, AND WILL ALWAYS REMAIN FREE! There is no obligation to pay for GCFL mailings.

It does cost money to run GCFL.net (just like everything else), but instead of peppering the mailings with advertisements every day, we prefer to just ask for a small donation. If we do a good job, some people will be willing to donate a dollar or two, and if we keep our costs down, it will be enough.

Since 1996, we've been mailing good, clean funnies to GCFL members, and they have always come through wonderfully, giving when they can.

We receive emails and letters nearly every day from members saying how much they enjoy GCFL, and how it helps them start their day. It seems people from 12 to 101 (seriously!) enjoy our funnies, and we sure enjoy making GCFL what it is.

We only ask for one dollar because we feel it's not too much to ask, and just about everyone should be able to handle it. However, if you can't afford it, don't worry about it! We'll continue the best we can. On the other hand, feel free to send a little more if you like!

So, if you feel so inclined, please send your donation to:

GCFL Box
100 Harvest, AL 35749
USA

Send a dollar bill (or two) (yes, it's OK to send cash in the mail for this purpose), or if you want to, write checks to "GCFL." You can also use PayPal (www.paypal.com) if you prefer. Please use email address gcfl@gcfl.net. Remember PayPal charges 2.9% + 30 cents for each transaction, so maybe you PayPal people can send $1.34 to cover that cost? It's your call.

Thanks for helping us keep GCFL alive and kicking!

John Price
GCFL Director
--
Rate this funny at
http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20100206

Brought to you by GCFL.net: The Good, Clean Funnies List
A cheerful heart is good medicine... (Prov 17:22a)
Mail address: GCFL, Box 100, Harvest, AL 35749, USA

Go to http://www.gcfl.net/mlfrontend.php to change your
subscription options or unsubscribe.

To print or email this funny to others, go to
http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20100206

The latest GCFL funny can always be found on the web at
http://www.gcfl.net/latest.php

(_:][:_)

_=+=_
Rate this funny at http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny060113
Brought to you by GCFL.net: The Good, Clean Funnies List A cheerful heart is good medicine... (Prov 17:22a) Mail address: GCFL, Box 100, Harvest, AL 35749, USA
To print or email this funny to others, go to http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny060113
The latest GCFL funny can always be found on the web at http://www.gcfl.net/latest.php
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Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Columns - - http://www.madkane.com/humor_blog/2009/11/27/ballroom-dancing-humor/ - - We Don’t Think We Can Dance, But We Do It Anyway

Every few years, my husband and I take ballroom dancing classes. We never make much progress, but we do have a good time. Except, of course, for the bruised limbs … and egos.

I’m celebrating our latest lesson attempt with a two-part limerick:

We Don’t Think We Can Dance, But We Do It Anyway
By Madeleine Begun Kane

My husband and I like to dance.
Are we good? Oh no way — not a chance.
I am not being humble
In saying we stumble
And often trip over our pants.

But we’re working on rumba and swing.
Plan a do-over class in the spring.
And to those who might think
That we really do stink,
Just be glad we’re not trying to sing.

© Madeleine Begun Kane. All Rights Reserved.
http://www.madkane.com/
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Dr. Charles Krauthammer is on Fox News. He is an M.D. and a lawyer He is a brilliant intellectual, seasoned & articulate. He is forthright and careful in his analysis, and never resorts to emotions or personal insults. He is NOT a fear monger nor an extremist in his comments and views. He is a fiscal conservative, and has received a Pulitzer Prize for writing. He is a frequent contributor to Fox News and writes weekly for the Washington Post.
Articles that directly explicate his views on President Obama are listed below:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/02/26/AR2009022602908.html

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/03/05/AR2009030502951.html

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/04/02/AR2009040203287.html

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/04/16/AR2009041603379.html

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/04/23/AR2009042302983.html

Thanks to Waneta
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Christian One Liners

Don't let your worries get the best of you; Remember, Moses started out as a basket case.
*+*+*+*+*+*+ *+*+*+*
Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited Until you try to sit in their pews.
*+*+*+*+*+*+ *+*+*+*
Many folks want to serve God, But only as advisers.
*+*+*+*+*+*+ *+*+*+*
It is easier to preach ten sermons Than it is to live one.
*+*+*+*+*+*+ *+*+*+*
The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, But mosquitoes come close.
*+*+*+*+*+*+ *+*+*+*
When you get to your wit's end, You'll find God lives there.
*+*+*+*+*+*+ *+*+*+*
People are funny; they want the front of the bus, Middle of the road, And back of the church.
*+*+*+*+*+*+ *+*+*+*
Opportunity may knock once, But temptation bangs on the front door forever.
*+*+*+*+*+*+ *+*+*+*
Quit griping about your church; If it was perfect, you couldn't belong.
*+*+*+*+*+*+ *+*+*+*
If a church wants a better pastor, It only needs to pray for the one it has.
*+*+*+*+*+*+ *+*+*+*
We're called to be witnesses, not lawyers or Judges.
*+*+*+*+*+*+ *+*+*+*
God Himself doesn't propose to judge a man until he is dead. So why should you?
*+*+*+*+*+*+ *+*+*+*
Some minds are like concrete Thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.
*+*+*+*+*+*+ *+*+*+*
Peace starts with a smile.
*+*+*+*+*+*+ *+*+*+*
I don't know why some people change churches; What difference does it make which one you stay home from?
*+*+*+*+*+*+ *+*+*+*
Be ye fishers of men. You catch 'em - He'll clean 'em.
*+*+*+*+*+*+ *+*+*+*
Stop, Drop, and Roll won't work in Hell.
*+*+*+*+*+*+ *+*+*+*
Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.
*+*+*+*+*+*+ *+*+*+*
Don't put a question mark where God put a period.
*+*+*+*+*+*+ *+*+*+*
Don't wait for 6 strong men to take you to church.
*+*+*+*+*+*+ *+*+*+*
Forbidden fruits create many jams.
*+*+*+*+*+*+ *+*+*+*
God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.
*+*+*+*+*+*+ *+*+*+*
God grades on the cross, not the curve.
*+*+*+*+*+*+ *+*+*+*
God loves everyone, But probably prefers 'fruits of the spirit' over 'religious nuts!'
*+*+*+*+*+*+ *+*+*+*
God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.
*+*+*+*+*+*+ *+*+*+*
He who angers you, controls you!
*+*+*+*+*+*+ *+*+*+*
If God is your Co-pilot, swap seats!
*+*+*+*+*+*+ *+*+*+*
Prayer: Don't give God instructions, just report for duty!
*+*+*+*+*+*+ *+*+*+*
The task ahead of us is never as great as the Power behind us.
*+*+*+*+*+*+ *+*+*+*
The Will of God never takes you to where the Grace of God will not protect you.
*+*+*+*+*+*+ *+*+*+*
We don't change the message, The message changes us.
*+*+*+*+*+*+ *+*+*+*
You can tell how big a person is By what it takes to discourage him.
*+*+*+*+*+*+ *+*+*+*
The best mathematical equation I have ever seen: 1 cross + 3 nails = 4 given.

Thanks to Daphne Roberts
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THINGS YOU DON'T HEAR ANY MORE.

Be sure to refill the ice trays, we're going to have company.
Watch for the mailman, I want to get this letter to Willie in the mail today.
Quit slamming the screen door when you go out.
Be sure and pull the windows down when you leave, it looks like a shower is coming up.
Don't forget to wind the clock before you go to bed.
Wash your feet before you go to bed, you've been playing outside all day barefooted.
Why can't you remember to roll up your britches legs? Getting them caught in the bicycle chain so many times is tearing them up.
You have torn the knees out of that pair of pants so many times there is nothing left to put a patch on.
Don't you go outside with your school clothes on!
Go comb your hair; it looks like the rats have nested in it all night.
Be sure and pour the cream off the top of the milk when you open the new bottle.
Take that empty bottle to the store with you so you won't have to pay a deposit on another one.
Put a dish towel over the cake so the flies won't get on it.
Quit jumping on the floor! I have a cake in the oven and you are going to make it fall if you don't quit!
Let me know when the Fuller Brush man comes by, I need to get a few things from him.
You boys stay close by, the car may not start and I will need you to help push it off.
There's a dollar in my purse, get 5 gallons of gas when you go to town.
Open the back door and see if we can get a breeze through here, it is getting hot.
You can walk to the store; it won't hurt you to get some exercise.
Don't sit too close to the TV. It's hard on your eyes.
If you pull that stunt again, I am going to wear you out!
Don't lose that button; I'll sew it back on after awhile
Wash under your neck before you come to the table, you have beads of dirt and sweat all under there.
Get out from under the sewing machine; pumping it messes up the thread!
Be sure and fill the lamps this morning so we don't have to do that tonight in the dark.
Here, take this old magazine to the toilet with you when you go, we are almost out of paper out there.
Go out to the well and draw a bucket of water so I can wash dishes.
Don't turn the radio on now, I want the battery to be up when the Grand Ole Opry comes on.
No! I don't have 10 cents for you to go to the show. Do you think money grows on trees?
Eat those turnips, they'll make you big and strong like your daddy.
That dog is NOT coming in this house! I don't care how cold it is out there, dogs don't stay in the house..
Sit still! I'm trying to get your hair cut straight and you keep moving and it is all messed up.
Hush your mouth! I don't want to hear words like that! I'll wash your mouth out with soap!
It is time for your system to be cleaned out. I am going to give you a dose of castor oil tonight.
If you get a spanking in school and I find out about it, you'll get another one when you get home.
Quit crossing your eyes! They will get stuck that way!
Soak your foot in this pan of kerosene so that bad cut won't get infected.
When you take your driving test, don't forget to signal each turn.
Left arm straight out the window for a left turn; left arm bent up at the elbow for a right turn; and straight down to the side of the door when you age going to stop.

Thanks to Ricky Shepherd
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TOURBUS _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _:) _ :)_ :)
Multiple Antivirus / Geekly Update / Flash Drives / Quantum Computing / Taskbar Tips / Apple iPad In today's TOURBUS, I've got an exclusive Tourbus Rider discount code to help you Send Valentine Flowers, and some tips on selecting an Antivirus Program. The Geekly Update, as always, will increase your chances of getting a raise by 146 percent, and my article on the lifespan of Flash Drives may change how you think about backup media.

Also in this issue, will Quantum Computing enable you to type a million times faster? Don't miss my Windows Taskbar Tips to boost your productivity, and get the scoop on the new Apple iPad. Read on!

Send Valentine Flowers - - Since 1998, I've operated Flowers Fast, an online florist service. It's kind of like FTD or 1-800-Flowers, only with better prices and friendlier service. :-)
And since Valentine's Day is approaching, this would be a great time to visit Flowers Fast and send flowers to a special someone in your life.
To make it even easier, I'm giving TOURBUS readers a special 15% discount if you use promo code TOURBUS at checkout time. I hope you'll visit FlowersFast and try our service!
[http://flowersfast.com/?tb]

More Than One Antivirus Program? - - Often when you buy a new computer, it comes with a trial version of some commercial antivirus software. When that free trial expires, you have to upgrade to a paid version, or start looking for a free antivirus alternative. But a common mistake is to install that freebie without removing the old one.
Is there a downside to having multiple antivirus packages? Hint: YES. Read on for details...
[http://askbobrankin.com/more_than_one_antivirus_program.html?tbart]

Geekly Update - - Bus drivers and truckers are now banned from texting while driving. But are Facebook and Twittering still okay behind the wheel? And if you got hit with early termination fees by AT&T or Cingular, you might get a slice of an $18 million pie. Are you eligible?
Get answers to these questions, and a free set of virtual steak knives, just by reading the most recent installment of the Geekly Update...
GEEKLY UPDATE - FEB 03 [http://askbobrankin.com/geekly_update_february_3.html?tbart]
GEEKLY UPDATE - FEB 10 [http://askbobrankin.com/geekly_update_february_10.html?tbart]

How Long Do Flash Drives Last? - - Flash drives are an increasingly popular form of portable storage. Some people predict that flash drives will replace hard drives in time, just as optical disks replaced floppy disks. But are flash drives as safe as other mass storage media for long-term archiving of irreplaceable data?
Do flash drives ever wear out and have to be replaced? And are all flash drives created equal, or are there differences in quality and durability to consider?
[http://askbobrankin.com/how_long_do_flash_drives_last.html?tbart]

What is Quantum Computing? - - The overriding imperative of computing is "go faster, get smaller". If Moore's Law continues to be an accurate predictor, then in a decade or so, we should see transistors the size of individual atoms. That's when quantum computing will explode.
What would you do with a computer that's a million times faster than the one you have now? Learn more about quantum computing...
[http://askbobrankin.com/what_is_quantum_computing.html?tbart]

Windows Taskbar Tips and Tricks - - The Windows taskbar - that narrow strip of icons at the bottom of your screen - is a nuisance to some and a fertile world of productivity for others. Learn the non-obvious secrets of the taskbar, you'll be glad you did.
Here's how to manage, customize and master the taskbar in XP, Vista and Windows 7...
[http://askbobrankin.com/windows_taskbar_tips_and_tricks.html?tbart]

What is the Apple iPad? - - Apple recently announced the iPad, a new gadget that falls into a category known as the tablet or slate device. With a 9.7 inch touch-screen display, it's too big to fit in your pocket, and yet it's not really a netbook either.
Is it a Really Big iPod Touch, a Macbook Lite, or something else? Let's take a look at this new gadget, it's capabilities, and the drawbacks.
[http://askbobrankin.com/what_is_the_apple_ipad.html?tbart]

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Protect yourself from Identify Theft - here's how to get 3 free credit reports each year.

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Learn how to send and receive faxes for free, using online fax services.

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Everyone knows that college is not cheap. But did you know that some college courses are free, online?

• Magic Jack Phone [http://askbobrankin.com/magic_jack_phone_service.html?tbpop]
Magic Jack is a device that plugs into your PC for cheap phone service. Is it a scam, or does it do what it promises?

• Free AntiVirus Software [http://askbobrankin.com/free_antivirus_programs.html?tbpop]
Staying safe online doesn't have to cost big bucks. Here are my picks for the best FREE anti-virus software.

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Use Promo Code TOURBUS to Save 15% on your order!

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PC Matic is a collection of award winning PC Pitstop technologies in one integrated architecture.
No other product on the market today will do as much to improve the overall performance, security & stability of your PC.
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That's all for now, see you next time! -- Bob Rankin

===[ Tourbus Rider Information ]====
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.~~~. ))
(\__/) .' ) )) Patrick Douglas Crispen
/o o \/ .~
{o_, \ { crispen@netsquirrel.com
/ , , ) \ http://www.netsquirrel.com/
`~ _' \ } )) AOL Instant Messenger: Squirrel2K
_( ( )_.'
___..{____} Warning: squirrels.
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The Pump Handle. A water cooler for the public health crowd.

Necessity is the Mother of Aquaponics

February 19, 2010 in Food | by Liz Borkowski | Leave a comment

A few months ago, the New York Times hosted an op-ed about vertical farming, which stacks several floors of hydroponic crops into tall buildings; now, it features in article about another version of hydroponic farming, known as aquaponics. (They stuck it in their “Home & Garden” section, though, and I doubt I’d have found it without the aid of Above the Fold.)

NYT’s Michael Tortorello describes Connecticut resident Rob Torcellini’s aquaponics setup as “either a glimpse at the the future of food growing or a very strang hobby – possibly both.” In an aquaponics setup, the waste from a tankful of fish provides nutrients to plants growing in tubs of water. According to Tortorello, aquaponics requires 80-90% less water than traditional growing methods.

Sylvia Bernstein, who helped develop a hydroponic product and has since become an aquaponics convert, explains on her Aquaponics Gardening Blog that it’s easier to get the nutrient mix right with aquaponics than with hydroponics. Since the plants’ nutrients come from fish waste, the system seems to eliminate (or at least dramatically reduce) the need for chemical fertilizers. Plus, the right kind of fish (like tilapia) will eat your table scraps.

So, will aquaponics be a big hit?

Read the rest of this entry » [http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2010/02/19/necessity-is-the-mother-of-aquaponics/#more-8235]
~
Health Insurance Premiums Jump – and Remind Us Why We Need Reform

February 18, 2010 in Healthcare | by Liz Borkowski | 1 comment

Healthreform.gov has compiled examples of some insurers hiking their premiums by scary amounts (footnotes omitted):

Anthem Blue Cross of California announced that its individual market premiums would rise by as much as 39 percent in the coming months. … Anthem of Connecticut requested an increase of 24 percent last year, which was rejected by the state. Anthem in Maine had an 18.5-percent premium increase rejected by the state last year as being “excessive and unfairly discriminatory” – but is now requesting a 23-percent increase this year.

In 2009, Blue Cross/Blue Shield of Michigan requested approval for premium increases of 56 percent for plans sold on the individual market. Regency Blue Cross Blue Shield of Oregon requested a 20-percent premium increase…. And rates for some individual health plans in Washington increased by up to 40 percent until Washington State imposed stiffer premium regulations.

The Anthem California story seems like it may be headed towards a happy ending – but not because we have a policy in place to prevent huge premium increases.

Read the rest of this entry » [http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2010/02/18/health-insurance-premiums-jump/#more-8231]

http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/
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Weekly Toll _ _ http://weeklytoll.blogspot.com/
Death In The Workplace w/News & Updates
John Donne _ ...any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.

Worker killed in fall from cell phone tower - February 3, Little Rock, Arizona — A man with more than three decades experience working on towers died this morning when he fell about 100 feet from a cell phone tower in Saline County. Terry Thompson, 51, of Lucedale, Miss., was pronounced dead at the scene, a tower on Old 88 Road near Highway 70. Officials say he died on impact about 10:30 a.m. Deputies with the Saline County sheriff's office and officials with the Occupational Safety and Health Administration are investigating how the fall occurred. Foul play is not suspected. The tower, which is owned by Stafford, Texas-based American Tower, was being dismantled by Little Rock company Dynamic Wireless. Thompson was reportedly working as a subcontractor.

Local man dies while working on billboard - February 3, Winfield, Pennsylvania - A local Lamar Advertising employee was killed Tuesday morning while working here, said company spokesman Hal Kilshaw. The unidentified man, whom Kilshaw said was stationed at the company's South Williamsport office, was working above ground on a billboard when he died. His name has not been released pending notification of family. Union Township deputy fire Chief Steve Anderson said he was notified around 7:40 a.m. and responded to the billboard near the intersection of Route 15 and Seven Kitchens Road.

Demolition Worker Dies After Pa. Church Accident - February 2, Shenandoah, Pennsylvania ? A Pennsylvania man is dead after falling from a lift at the demolition site of a church. Schuylkill County Deputy Coroner Andrew Szczyglak says 53-year-old John Martz of Oneida died Monday after the accident at St. George Roman Catholic Church in Shenandoah. Officials say Martz fell about 60 feet when he and another worker were shoring up a part of the church's steeple on Monday morning. The other worker was taken to a hospital for treatment.

http://weeklytoll.blogspot.com
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NEVER FORGET! We're listing the names of our soldiers killed since November 01. These records can be found at http://www.defenselink.mil/releases/

01. Pfc. Gifford E. Hurt, 19, of Yonkers, N.Y., died Jan. 20, in Mosul, Iraq, of injuries sustained from a non-combat related accident. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 14th Field Artillery Regiment, 214th Fires Brigade, 4th Infantry Division, Fort Sill, Okla.

02. Petty Officer 2nd Class Xin Qi, 25, of Cordova, Tenn., died Jan. 23, while supporting combat operations in Afghanistan. Qi was assigned to Fourth Light Armored Reconnaissance Battalion, Marine Expeditionary Brigade – Afghanistan.

03. Lance Cpl. Jeremy M. Kane, 22, of Towson, Md., died Jan. 23 while supporting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to 4th Light Armored Reconnaissance Battalion, 4th Marine Division, Marine Forces Reserve, based out of Camp Pendleton, Calif.

The Department of Defense announced today the deaths of three Marines who were supporting Operation Enduring Freedom. The following Marines died Jan. 24 while supporting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan:
04. Sgt. Daniel M. Angus, 28, of Thonotosassa, Fla.
05. Lance Cpl. Timothy J. Poole, 22, of Bowling Green, Ky.
06. Lance Cpl. Zachary D. Smith, 19, of Hornell, N.Y.
Angus and Smith were assigned to 1st Battalion, 6th Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.
Poole was assigned to 1st Battalion, 3rd Marine Regiment, 3rd Marine Division, III Marine Expeditionary Force, Kaneohe Bay, Hawaii.

07. Sgt. Carlos E. Gill, 25, of Fayetteville, N.C., died Jan. 26 at Walter Reed Army Medical Center of an illness. He was evacuated from Kandahar Air Field, Afghanistan, Dec. 19, 2009, where he was supporting combat operations. Gill was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 1st Infantry Regiment, 5th Stryker Brigade Combat Team, 2nd Infantry Division, Fort Lewis, Wash.

08. Pfc. Scott G. Barnett, 24, of Concord, Calif., died Jan. 28 in Tallil, Iraq, of injuries sustained while supporting combat operations. He was assigned to the 412th Aviation Support Battalion, 12th Combat Aviation Brigade, Katterbach, Germany.

09. Sgt. David J. Smith, 25, of Frederick, Md., died Jan. 26 from wounds received Jan. 23 while supporting combat operations in Helmand Province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to 4th Light Armored Reconnaissance Battalion, 4th Marine Division, Marine Forces Reserve, based out of Camp Pendleton, Calif.

The Department of Defense announced today the death of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Enduring Freedom. They died Jan. 29 in Wardak province, Afghanistan, of injuries sustained while supporting combat operations. Killed were:
10. Capt. David J. Thompson, 39, of Hooker, Okla., who was assigned to the 3rd Battalion 3rd Special Forces Group, Fort Bragg, N.C.
11. Spc. Marc P. Decoteau, 19, of Waterville Valley, N.H., who was assigned to the 6th Psychological Operations Battalion (Airborne), 4th Psychological Operations Group (Airborne), Fort Bragg, N.C.
12. Lance Cpl. Michael L. Freeman Jr., 21, of Fayetteville, Pa., died Feb. 1 while supporting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to 2nd Battalion, 2nd Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

13. Staff Sgt. Rusty H. Christian, 24, of Greenville, Tenn., died Jan. 28 in Oruzgan province, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when enemy forces attacked his unit with an improvised explosive device. He was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 1st Special Forces Group, Joint Base Lewis-McChord, Wash.

The Department of Defense announced today the death of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Enduring Freedom. They died of wounds suffered when enemy forces attacked their vehicle with an improvised explosive device Feb. 2 in Zabul province, Afghanistan. They were assigned to the 1st Battalion, 508th Parachute Infantry Regiment, 4th Brigade Combat Team, 82nd Airborne Division, Fort Bragg, N.C. Killed were:
14. Capt. Daniel Whitten, 28, of Grimes, Iowa; and
15. Pfc. Zachary G. Lovejoy, 20, of Albuquerque, N.M.

The Department of Defense announced today the deaths of three soldiers who were supporting Operation Enduring Freedom. They died Feb. 3 in Timagara, Pakistan, from wounds suffered when insurgents attacked their unit with an improvised explosive device. Killed were:
16. Sgt. 1st Class David J. Hartman, 27, of Okinawa, Japan. He was assigned to the 96th Civil Affairs Battalion (Airborne), 95th Civil Affairs Brigade (Airborne), Fort Bragg, N.C.
17. Sgt. 1st Class Matthew S. Sluss-Tiller, 35, of Callettsburg, Ky. He was assigned to the 96th Civil Affairs Battalion (Airborne), 95th Civil Affairs Brigade (Airborne), Fort Bragg, N.C.

18. Staff Sgt. Mark A. Stets, 39, of El Cajon, Calif. He was assigned to the 8th Psychological Operations Battalion (Airborne), 4th Psychological Operations Group (Airborne), Fort Bragg, N.C.

The Department of Defense today announced the identity of a civilian employee listed as Excused Absence Whereabouts Unknown (EAWUN) while supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom.
Issa T. Salomi, 60, of El Cajon, Calif., has been unaccounted for since Jan. 23. He was last seen in Baghdad, Iraq, where he is assigned to U.S. Forces – Iraq. Search and recovery efforts are ongoing.

19. Sgt. Dillon B. Foxx, 22, of Traverse City, Mich., died Feb. 5 in Bala Murghab, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when enemy forces attacked his unit with an improvised explosive device. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 508th Parachute Infantry Regiment, 4th Brigade Combat Team, 82nd Airborne Division, Fort Bragg, N.C.

20. Sgt. Adam J. Ray, 23, of Louisville, Ky., died Feb. 9 in southern Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked his unit with an improvised explosive device. He was assigned to the 4th Battalion, 23rd Infantry Regiment, 5th Stryker Brigade Combat Team, 2nd Infantry Division, Joint Base Lewis-McChord, Wash.

21. Pfc. Adriana Alvarez, 20, of San Benito, Texas, died Feb. 10 in Baghdad, of injuries sustained while supporting combat operations. She was assigned to the 504th Military Police Battalion, 42nd Military Police Brigade, Joint Base Lewis-McChord, Wash.

22. Cpl. Jacob H. Turbett, 21, of Canton, Mich., died Feb. 13 while supporting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to 2nd Combat Engineer Battalion, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

23. Pfc. Jason H. Estopinal, 21, of Dallas, Ga., died Feb. 15 while supporting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to 2nd Battalion, 2nd Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

24. Lance Cpl. Noah M. Pier, 25, of Charlotte, N.C., died Feb. 16 while supporting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to 1st Battalion, 3rd Marine Regiment, 3rd Marine Division, III Marine Expeditionary Force, Kaneohe Bay, Hawaii.

The Department of Defense announced today the deaths of three soldiers who were supporting Operation Enduring Freedom. They died of wounds suffered when enemy forces attacked their unit with an improvised explosive device Feb. 13 in Zhari province, Afghanistan. They were assigned to the 1st Battalion, 12th Infantry Regiment, 4th Brigade Combat Team, 4th Infantry Division, Fort Carson, Colo. Killed were:
25. Staff Sgt. John A. Reiners, 24, of Lakeland, Fla.;
26. Sgt. Jeremiah T. Wittman, 26, of Darby, Mont.; and
27. Spc. Bobby J. Pagan, 23, of Austin, Texas.

28. Petty Officer 1st Class Sean L. Caughman, 43, of Fort Worth, Texas, died Feb. 16, while supporting operations in Kuwait. Caughman was assigned to Naval Mobile Construction Battalion Twenty-Two.

29. Lance Cpl. Alejandro J. Yazzie, 23, of Rock Point, Ariz., died Feb. 16 while supporting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to 1st Combat Engineer Battalion, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Pendleton, Calif.

30. Pfc. Eric D. Currier, 21, of Londonderry, N.H., died Feb. 17 while supporting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to 3rd Battalion, 6th Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

31. Pfc. Charles A. Williams, 29, of Fair Oaks, Calif., died Feb. 7 at Camp Nathan Smith, Afghanistan, of injuries sustained while supporting combat operations. He was assigned to the 97th Military Police Battalion, 18th Military Police Brigade, Fort Riley, Kan.

32. Pfc. Kyle J. Coutu, 20, of Providence, R.I., died Feb. 18 while supporting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to 3rd Battalion, 6th Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

32. Lance Cpl. Larry M. Johnson, 19, of Scranton, Pa., died Feb. 18 while supporting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to 2nd Combat Engineer Battalion, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

33. Lance Cpl. Kielin T. Dunn, 19, of Chesapeake, Va., died Feb. 18 while supporting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to 1st Battalion, 6th Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

~

Soldier Missing in Action from Vietnam War Identified

The Department of Defense POW/Missing Personnel Office (DPMO) announced today that the remains of a U.S. serviceman, missing in action from the Vietnam War, have been identified and returned to his family for burial.

Army Specialist Lawrence L. Aldrich will be buried in his home town of Fort Worth, Texas tomorrow.

On May 6, 1968, Aldrich was a member of a search-and-clear mission in Binh Dinh Province in what was then South Vietnam. He was last seen with two other Americans engaged in a battle with enemy forces while manning a M-60 machine gun position. An air strike was called in, but one of the bombs inadvertently landed on Aldrich’s position, killing the three soldiers. Members of his unit later recovered the remains of the two other men, but Aldrich could not be found.

In July 1992, a joint U.S.-Socialist Republic of Vietnam team traveled to the province to investigate the loss. They interviewed a local citizen who remembered a large ground battle in the area in May or June 1968. He took the team to a location where he indicated the remains were buried, but an excavation in 1994 found no evidence of a grave or remains.

Vietnamese officials unilaterally investigated the case in 2006 and interviewed two villagers who recalled finding a body of an American after the battle and burying it where it lay. A second joint investigation in 2007, led by the Joint POW/MIA Accounting Command, recommended another excavation based on the information provided by the Vietnamese.

The excavation in March 2009 unearthed human remains and other non-biological evidence. The identification of the remains was confirmed by matching the remains with Aldrich’s dental records.

For additional information on the Defense Department’s mission to account for missing Americans, visit the DPMO Web site at http://www.dtic.mil/dpmo or call 703-699-1169.
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"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." __ Franklin D. Roosevelt
"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. _ _ George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" _ _ Queen E. Watson
“A political class of Republicans and Democrats that look after themselves, not the Nation. A media hostile to the very precepts of this nation. A generation of Americans who see morals as vices, and are ignorant of America's Actual History.”
"The things that will destroy America are prosperity-at-any-price, peace-at-any-price, safety-first instead of duty-first, the love of soft living, and the get-rich-quick theory of life." - - Theodore Roosevelt
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Scheduled Activities
Men's Prayer Breakfast held every Tuesday morning at 6 AM in Miller's Cafeteria. If you aren't a regular participant at the Men's Prayer Breakfast, you're missing some great food, fellowship and inspired teaching of the Word. Hope to see you there.
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Emergency Phone Number 911
(Fire, Police, Ambulance, Sheriff, etc. )
Central Dispatch 234_5655
(Non _ Emergency Number)
Direct Numbers
Ambulance _ 234_7371 (24 Hour)
Jail _ 234_5331 (24 Hour)
Poison Control _ 800_222_1222 (24 Hour)
http://www. aapcc. org/
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Interested in getting in touch with the Banner_News through e_mail?
E_mail addresses for communicating with the newspaper’s various departments are: news@bannernews.net For news and sports items, Coming Events, Diary, Church News, school and civic events.
advertising@bannernews. net For retail and classified advertising.
circulation@bannernews. net To start, stop or cancel newspaper delivery or for comments about delivery.
outfitters @bannernews.net For Office Outfitters, the office supply division of the Banner_News.
[http://www.bannernews.net/]
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"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." __ "Bug"
"I read the end of the book. We win!" __ "Bug"
"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." __ "Bug"
"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." _ _ "Bug"
"It's no big deal doing what God tells you to do. A big deal would be NOT doing what God tells you to do. Just ask Jonah." _ _ Paul Troquille
“Nam et ipsa scientia potestas est.” Knowledge is power. _ Francis Bacon
"The problem is here and now. The time for talk is past. The time for action is now."
Comments on the first Earth Day _ James F. McClellan via John "Fuzzy" Thurman
~~~~~
Hope you enjoy the newsletter.
Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" __"Bug"
God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
Acts 10:10-15 Job 28:20-28 Heb 4:14-16 1 Cor 11:17-19 Gen 1:1-3 Psa 81:13-14 Psa 86:11-13 Rom 12:20 2 Tim 3:10-12 (Acts 25:8-12 Neh 10:9-13 Psa 37:1-3 Psa 31:1-4 Mat 13:23 Gen 5:5,8,11,14,17,23,27 Acts 24:25-26 2 Ki 3:15-18 Eph 6:10-12 Ezek 33:31-32 Zec 10:6 Zec 10:1 Job 21:2-3 Hag 2:9 2 Tim 1:4-6 Col 4:12-13 Eph 6:10-12 Heb 6:1-3 Acts 4:36-37 Mark 8:32-34 http://www.e_min.org/
God is Good and Faithful CU 73 IC JFM CSP NREMT_I KC5HII

P. S. If you'd like to be added to the distribution, just drop us E_mail at kc5hii@suddenlink.net
. We offer "Da Bleat" as text, a "Blog" and as a newsletter with pictures in Word and PDF format. The latest issue is usually updated sometime Saturday. For the "Blog" version just go to one of the several addresses on the web. For the latest issue, go to http://www.bugsbleat.blogspot.com. Older issues can be found at http://www.bugsbleat_q__.blogspot.com, where _ is the quarter (1, 2, 3, or 4) and __ is the year (05, 06, 07, 08 or 09). We also have a site [http://bugsbleatphotos.blogspot.com/] where we post photos that I like.
Let us hear from you if we can switch you over to the "Word" or "PDF" version of "Da Bleat".
If you'd prefer to read "Da Blog" version, just drop us a note at kc5hii@suddenlink.net and we'll switch you from e:mail delivery to "Da Bleat" Blog. We appreciate your encouragement. We also appreciate your communication when you desire to be taken off our mail list. If you are on this mail list by mistake or do not wish to receive "Da Bleat," please reply back and tell us to discontinue service to you. This email was scanned by Norton AntiVirus 2010 before it was sent.
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