Sunday, August 25, 2013

Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Exercise Bike

Annette's new "Posey"

A steaming bowl of Annette's Homemade Soup

Josiah in his new Boy's and Girl's Club Football Equipment

Annette claims I shouldn’t wash my dress pants with the towels. At least that’s her excuse for “shaving” my pants this week. :0)

The Magnolia Christian Center Men Had a GREAT Bible Study Breakfast this month. We meet at 5:30 am on every third Thursday morning.

Annette enjoys The Magnolia Farmer’s Market and we both enjoy cooking the veggies she gets there. This week I roasted the new potatoes, squash and onions after marinating them in EVO and spices. Humm Humm Good.

Annette hasn’t been feeling too spiffy the last couple of weeks, but she’s still managed to get her plants “shining.”

Volume 15, Issue 33 Friday, August 23, 2013

Hello ALL,

The kids eating first or last “thing”.

When I was growing up in my grandmother's house; the main meal was Dinner (also known as lunch to non southerners.) At this meal, the adults were served first, then the kids. Just as they had done when my mother was young and probably as they had done for several generations. I never questioned the practice; it was just the way things were (probably because the adults had to get back to work.)

Annette's FANTASTIC "Pan Bread"

One of my mother's famous stories involved a group of visiting preachers coming to grandmothers for Dinner after church. All the adults were seated at the dining table eating and the kids were in the kitchen, waiting their turn. My uncle Fort (who was 10 or 12 at the time) commented; "I'll bet the D__n Preachers eat all the D__n chicken!" Four year old Bob heard this and walked into the dining room and around the table. No adults paid him any attention until he loudly announced; "Yep! The D__n Preachers are eating all the D__n Chicken!"
Of course, this arrangement reversed about the time I got to be old enough to go to the first seating. At that point, they started serving the kids first. And that's what happened today when Annette fixed corn bread, butter-beans, rice, gravy, squash and pork chops for "Dinner."

Da Boys (also referred to by me as the "Locusts") were served before the two workers even made it to the house for their "lunch" break. This was done because both boys exclaimed that they couldn't survive until their parents got there (in spite of the fact that they had been chowing down on any food not bolted to the floor all morning). So the boys started eating while Annette and I waited to eat with our grown guests.

When Jimmy and Vanessa arrived, the boys had already inhaled their very generous portions and jumped in line for more. I exclaimed; "Hey, wait till your parents get something to eat." To which Annette replied; "Why would you selfishly want to eat before the children were served?" And she refilled both their plates.

It was at this point, while we cut the remaining two pork chops up to serve four adults that I realized why the old system was probably instituted. If they'd let the kids eat first, the workers would have probably never had anything but scraps to eat.

Speaking of food and grandkids, our youngest grandson, Ethan, was not happy with his parents choice of restaurants for Sunday Dinner. In protest, he made the following comment on the decision to eat Mexican food: "By the time I grow up, I am going to look like a Mexican and have a sombrero.

But when I grow up, I am only gonna eat American food and throw away my sombrero.

Then I will look like George Washington."
I've been reading Philip Caputo's latest's book, "The Longest Road: Overland In Search of America from Key West to the Arctic Ocean" this week. Here are a few "favorite quotes" from the book that I want to share;

"The one sure sign that you've entered geezerdom isn't gray hair, wrinkles, wattles, or waning physical powers; it's the conviction that the younger generation is going to hell and taking everyone with it. I guess it's ever been so.
Geriatric Cro-Magnons, huddled in their drafty caves, probably moaned that the tribe was done for because their kids were too lazy or inept to kill mastodons."

"I've figured out by livin', and it took me years to learn this, that you can't control nobody in this world but you, and that's a full-time job. Because if you lose control and get mad and angry -- which I usta get bad mad -- you've lost control of the only thing in this world you can control. You can't control what people say to you or do to you or how they act toward you, but you can control how you take it. Like an old boy told me one day that I was ugly, and I said, 'Well, I didn't realize that but I'll work on it'."

"I think that whatever governors we used to have on what we say and how we behave are gone." John said, weighing in on the skeptical side 'of America's Future'. "What's happened to our manners? To our civility? Maybe it's because of the anonymity of the Internet. It lets people feel free to say whatever they want, and it becomes legitimized because it's on the internet."

and ...

Commenting on the amount of misinformation folks spout; "The problem was way too much information. A twenty-first century American can access more of it in them minutes than an eighteenth-century American could in a year, yet the dominion of falsehood remains. It can be stated as a kind of mathematical principle: the degree of ignorance on any given subject is directly proportional to the amount of information available about it."
The first book of Mr. Caputo's that I read was his memoir "A Rumor of War" published in 1977. That book was a stunning look at the life of a marine Lieutenant in Vietnam. Rumor of War was jarring and disturbing, upsetting the apple cart of both Hawks and Doves.

A fairly prolific writer, Mr. Caputo has published the following books since A Rumor of War: Means of Escape (1991) Memoir, Equation for Evil (1996) Fiction, Exiles (1997) Fiction, The Voyage (1999) Fiction, Horn of Africa (1980) Fiction, Delcorso's Gallery (1983) Fiction, Indian Country (1987) Fiction, In the Shadows of the Morning (2002) General Nonfiction, Ghosts of Tsavo (2002) General Nonfiction, Ten Thousand Days of Thunder (2005) General Nonfiction, 13 Seconds: A Look Back At the Kent State Shootings (2005) General Nonfiction, Acts of Faith (2005) Fiction, Crossers (2009) Fiction, and The Longest Road (2013.)

"The Longest Road" is a far far cry from "A Rumor Of War" not that the quality is different, but where ROW was a disturbing look at an unpopular war, TLR is a satisfying, pleasurable look at our Nation today, be it ever so conflicted. The roots still run deep in the America of our forefathers.
My Stepfather, Tamey Duke, started selling hamburgers out of a shed on the back of a blacksmith shop just north of the Magnolia square when he was ten years old.
The Columbia County Courthouse.

In spite of working to support his parents and sisters, he managed to graduate from Magnolia A&M (now known as Southern Arkansas University), open several restaurants (including The Chatterbox) and serve as Mess Sergeant for the Officer’s Mess in Patton’s Army in North Africa, Sicily and Italy during World War II.

The "Brown Duke" circa 1960, When The Chatterbox was destroyed in an explosion the day after Christmas in 1951, he hardly missed a beat. He bought a prefab diner from Valentine manufacturing in Wichita, Kansas, placing it on a vacant lot almost in the same location he’d started out selling burgers from when he was ten years old.

Valentines were small eight- to 12-seat diners with a limited menu, making them ideal for a one person operation. They made it possible to operate a business with very little capital. These diners were manufactured in Wichita from the late 1930s into the mid-1970s. Sales of the buildings expanded nationwide, and soon Valentines were all over the United States. Many are still in use today.

He served his customers out of the Brown Duke until the Chatterbox was rebuilt and then he leased it out.

The Brown Duke was a great place to get breakfast and had a large lunch crowd from the downtown area. When I was young, there was a canvas roofed structure out back with tables to expand the serving area.

When Tamey sold the Chatterbox and "retired" he moved the Brown Duke to his lot on Pine Street (where CCAS is now) and reopened it as Tamey's. Paul Bismarck owns it now and Staci Risher is considering buying it, restoring it and reopening it.

Staci has done quite a bit of research on the dinner and its history. Even the safe located on the back wall has a story: according to her research, these wall safes were used to make payment for the diner itself. A Valentine Rep would go around picking up payments each month until the diner was paid off.
Free At Last

Fifty Years later, we're closer than you think to realizing Martin Luther King Jr.'s dream. By Joshua DuBois

"Instead of being in a state of perpetual struggle, an endless existential march, I believe there is far more evidence to support the idea that we are right on the verge of Zion. And the only thing that will stop us from getting there is the hopeless belief that we can’t."
While our leaders are consumed with having all students pass identical standardized tests, the education those tests seek to confirm is bereft of many basic building blocks required for success in our world.

"Without awareness of natural and human geography, we are reduced to a sort of self-contained void without accurate awareness of the space around us. An ignorance of history also creates the same sort of self-imposed exile, leaving us ignorant of both what came before us and what is likely to follow."

Read more:

Follow us: @washtimes on Twitter

HANSON: Why the president doesn’t know where he is
In Sam Cooke’s classic 1959 hit song “Wonderful World,” the lyrics downplayed formal learning with lines such as “Don’t know much about history … . Don’t know much about geography.”
I can only assume that these parents don't have the time or the ability to judge how their kids are doing in school nor how the school is doing teaching their kids.

Our grandsons have been in several different schools over the years and we've had absolutely no problem knowing when the boys were doing well (or not) nor when the school was doing a good (or bad) job.

We didn't need a "super" test to enlighten us. (Of course, it doesn’t hurt when they score in the top 1% on those standardized tests.)

But it seems that "yet again" we find ourselves in the minority as most folks would prefer that the state or federal school system tell them how their school / kid is doing.
Poll: Parents back high-stakes testing. Standardized tests have support among parents, who view them as a useful way to measure both students' and schools' performances
After the latest "Nixon Tapes" were released some are asking; Is Billy Graham an Anti-Semite? Graham should have known better, says his biographer, but he doesn't deserve our condemnation
Dr. Graham is a man with human faults. He is a great example of why we needed Christ's sacrifice since we were (and are) unable to perfectly follow God's law.

Has he made mistakes? Definitely. Has he attempted to follow God and preach the Good News? In my opinion ... Definitely.

Novelist Patricia Cornwell could also give us a different view of the Grahams. I recommend Her biography of Ruth Graham, “A Time for Remembering” (later reissued as “Ruth: A Portrait”)

In the end, each one of us has to decide if Billy Graham enriched our lives or if he took from us. In my case, my life has been enriched by his.
As if we didn’t have enough to worry about … Some U.S. nuclear facilities are inadequately protected against theft of weapons-grade materials and sabotage by terrorists. Terrorist attacks on vulnerable nuclear facilities could trigger a meltdown or lead to a diversion of bomb-grade uranium. The danger is far from hypothetical since the 9/11 hijackers are known to have considered flying a passenger jet into a U.S. nuclear reactor before they settled on the World Trade Center as their main terror target.
Digital era threatens tenuous future of drive-ins

LANCASTER, Ohio (AP) — Through 80 summers, drive-in theaters have managed to remain a part of the American fabric, surviving technological advances and changing tastes that put thousands out of business. Now the industry says a good chunk of the 350 or so left could be forced to turn out the lights because they can’t afford to adapt to the digital age.
Movie studios are phasing out 35 mm film prints, and the switch to an eventually all-digital distribution system is pushing the outdoor theaters to make the expensive change to digital projectors.
The $70,000-plus investment required per screen is significant, especially for what is in most places a summertime business kept alive by mom-and-pop operators. Paying for the switch would suck up most owners’ profits for years to come. The United Drive-In Theatre Owners Association figures 50 to 60 theaters have already convert ed. At least one operator decided to close instead of switch but it’s , not clear how many more might bite the dust.
"Everyone knows eventually that you’ll be digital or you’ll close your doors," says Walt Effinger, whose Skyvue Drive-In in the central Ohio town of Lancaster has been showing movies on an 80-foot screen since 1948. "Some will. If you’re not doing enough business to justify the expense, you’ re just going to have to close up."
Effinger worked at the Skyvue off and on for 30 years before he and his wife, Cathie, bought it two decades ago. They converted to digital last year, the first of the state’s 29 drive-ins to do so. Because the films now come on a device the size of a portable hard drive and are downloaded to his projector, it’s less hassle for him on movie nights and gives viewers a stunningly brighter, clearer image.
Think of the picture on a flat-screen digital TV, compared with the old tube set.
The digital transformation has been underway in the film industry for more than a decade because of the better picture and sound quality and the ease of delivery — no more huge reels of film. The time frame isn’t clear, but production companies are already phasing out traditional 35 mm film, and it’s expected to disappear completely over the next few years.
"We know fewer and fewer prints are being struck," says D. Edward Vogel, who runs the historic Bengies Drive-In in Baltimore and is spokesman for the United Drive-In Theatre Owners Association.
An industry incentive program will reimburse theater owners 80 percent of the cost of conversion over time, Vogel says, but because most drive-ins are small family-run businesses, it’s hard for many to find the money, period. And the reimbursement doesn’t cover the tens of thousands of dollars more that many will have to spend renovating projection rooms to create the climate-controlled conditions needed for the high-tech equipment.
It’s a dilemma also faced by the nation’s small independent theaters, many of them struggling to pay for conversion to digital years after corporate-owned multiplexes already did it.
Darcy and Bill Wimple, owners of two drive-ins in upstate New York, hope an online competition will help them with the $225,000 to $250,000 they figure it will cost to switch their three screens. The American Honda Motor Co. is compiling online votes for the nation’s favorite drive-ins and is going to pay the digital conversion costs for the top five vote-getters. The Wimples say that if they don’t get help, they’ll have to consider closing up.
"To make this kind of conversion with three screens is like trying to buy another drive-in all over again," says Darcy Wimple, whose El Rancho theater in Palatine Bridge is among dozens of drive-ins featured in the Honda ad promotion.
The number of drive-ins peaked at more than 4,000 in the late 1950s. Now there are 357.
Robyn Deal and Dave Foraker have been going to the Skyvue in Lancaster since they were both in school in the 1960s and early ‘70s. On a recent weekend night, they sat together in folding chairs outside their car, blankets on their laps and their 12-year-old dachshund, Wilson, getting lots of attention just before a double feature of "Turbo" and "The Wolverine."
"So much of our heritage is going away, and this is one of them," said the 60-yearold Foraker, who figures his first movie at the Skyvue was "Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?" around 1966.
"A lot of the things I did when I was kid are gone," he said. "I think they’re trying to keep what’s left."

Thanks to Joe Mullins
The Invisible Bicycle Helmet | Fredrik Gotten from Focus Forward Films

“If people say it’s impossible we have to prove them wrong.”
Design students Anna and Terse took on a giant challenge as an exam project. Something no one had done before. If they could swing it, it would for sure be revolutionary. The bicycle is a tool to change the world. If we use bikes AND travel safe: Life will be better for all.!
From the Magnolia Reporter - - Consider the facts before consuming raw milk

Raw cow milk has been legal to sell in Arkansas since last Friday.

Before dairy farmers start selling raw milk or consumers start drinking raw milk, they may want to read a new fact sheet on the subject published by the University of Arkansas Division of Agriculture’s Public Policy Center.

The Promise and Risk of Raw Milk in Arkansas – Analyzing Arkansas’ New Raw Milk Law
Polio Outbreaks in Africa and Pakistan

Parts of Africa and Pakistan are experiencing an outbreak of a disease that, elsewhere on the globe, has long been extinct. While there were only 223 cases of polio in the entire world last year, there are currently 121 in Somalia and the Horn of Africa, home to thousands of Somali refugees. Meanwhile, in North Waziristan, three children have contracted polio since local warlord Hafiz Gull Abrader banned vaccinations in the region 14 months ago in protest of American drone strikes. Though the severity of the Pakistani outbreak has not reached the level of Africa's, any manifestation of polio paralysis has the potential to spread. In anticipation of next month's hajj, Saudi Arabia is now requiring that all visitors be vaccinated both at home and on arrival at Mecca. The recent outbreaks may prove a setback to the World Health Organization's $5.5 billion plan to rid the world of polio completely by 2018.

Now tell me again why you’re not choosing to vaccinate your family?
At the Obama White House: Transparency Transhmarency by Lloyd Grove

Trying to force The Washington Post to change real quotes was just the latest White House obfuscation. Team Obama has been at it for years. Lloyd Grove reports.
As Gomer would say; "Surprise, Surprise, Surprise!"
U.S. nuclear facilities vulnerable to terrorist attack: study

Some U.S. nuclear facilities are inadequately protected against theft of weapons-grade materials and sabotage by terrorists. Terrorist attacks on vulnerable nuclear facilities could trigger a meltdown or lead to a diversion of bomb-grade uranium. The danger is far from hypothetical since the 9/11 hijackers are known to have considered flying a passenger jet into a U.S. nuclear reactor before they settled on the World Trade Center as their main terror target.
Five foods you should never eat: Non Organic Strawberries, White Chocolate, Bean Sprouts, Canned (metal can) Tomatoes, Swordfish. Per CNN's Dr. Sanjay Gupta.
Truly beautiful. These photos are courtesy of Deborah Byrd's friends of the 2013 Perseid meteor shower
Earth waves at Saturn

A collage of 1400+ images of people waving at the Cassini spacecraft on July 19.

On July 19, 2013, the Cassini spacecraft pointed its camera back at Earth to take our picture from the Saturn system. NASA encouraged everyone to smile, wave, and snap a photo of our own. From more than 40 countries and 30 U.S. states, people shared more than 1,400 images of themselves, via Twitter, Face book, Flickr, Instagram, Google+ and email. As a tribute to the people of Earth, NASA assembled this collage from the shared images, using an image of Earth as the base image.

(Deborah Byrd is Founder and President of EarthSky, which she created in 1991. EarthSky is a digital publisher that brings science and nature to millions of people around the world.)
AskBob - - Bob Rankin - - Online College or Campus Learning?

These days, earning a college degree online is an option as readily available as traditional, on-campus living and learning. So what's the better choice? There are many pros and cons of online college. Here's a guide to deciding...

Are Digital Cameras Obsolete?

What goes around comes around. Digital cameras killed the old-school film camera market long ago. Today, some are wondering if standalone digital cameras are in danger of extinction by cameras built into smartphones, tablets, and other mobile devices. Read on to see if they're right...

Geekly Update - 21 August 2013

Are helicopter drones getting out of control? Is Google secretly changing the definition of words in Webster's dictionary? And is your smartphone using more electricity the refrigerator? Get answers to these burning questions, and the scoop on the latest tech news, in this edition of the Geekly Update. It's guaranteed to make you 146% smarter. Read, think and comment!
ACC SmartBrief - -

Politics threaten economic gains from shale gas

Vocal opponents and legislative obstacles to hydraulic fracturing in some areas are threatening the economic gains from shale gas, this article says. There is now a movement to block fracking in New Jersey, while New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo has promised a long-awaited decision on fracking in his state by the 2014 election. Meanwhile, the federal government may move to regulate fracking even though states appear to be better equipped for this task, Jon Entine writes. Forbes (8/22)
ACC, industrial groups express compliance concerns on rework of boiler MACT rule

The American Chemistry Council and other groups warn that the Environmental Protection Agency's rework of its final boiler maximum achievable control technology could make timely compliance a challenge. Facilities are expected to comply with new regulations by Jan. 31, 2016, but major sources "need a substantial period of time once regulatory requirements are final to come into compliance," the groups said in a filing with the U.S. Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia Circuit. They are urging the EPA to finalize the MACT rule by the end of this year. SNL Financial (free content) (8/19)
Expert: Marcellus gas production surges, begins displacing Gulf of Mexico output

Natural gas production from the Marcellus Shale formation is growing faster than expected, and it is affecting U.S. energy trends, Bentek Energy analysts said. Pennsylvania's portion of the play alone produced about 1.5 trillion cubic feet of gas in the first half of the year, and the figure is expected to reach 3.2 trillion by year's end. Marcellus gas is "actually starting to displace" Gulf of Mexico production, said Bentek analyst Diana Oswald. The Courier-Journal (Louisville, Ky.) (tiered subscription model)/The Associated Press (8/15)
dLife Foodstuff - -

Seven Things You Need to Know about Arthritis and Diabetes
By Sandra Gordon

Over half of the nearly 24 million Americans with diabetes also have osteoarthritis. It' s the most common kind of arthritis, which occurs when the cartilage that provides a cushion between bones wears away, causing inflammation, stiffness, and pain in joints. One disease affects the other. "Controlling arthritis is critical to diabetes management and vice versa," says John H. Klippel, M.D., the president and CEO of the Arthritis Foundation in Atlanta. Staying active and at a healthy weight are key. Here are seven important facts that can help you manage both conditions to help you stay healthier.

Weight gain makes osteoarthritis worse.

Age increases risk.

Exercise reduces arthritis joint pain.

Too much exercise can worsen osteoarthritis symptoms.

Osteoarthritis drugs won't make your diabetes worse.

Taking glucosamine/chondroitin may help relieve arthritis pain.

Worn - out joints can be replaced, but you'll need to be fit for surgery.
As featured on Food Network - - Almost-Famous Frozen Yogurt

A combination of whole-milk yogurt and reduced-fat Greek yogurt creates a light, airy and tangy homemade fro-yo. - - Makes: 1 quart


2 cups plain whole-milk yogurt
2 cups plain nonfat or reduced-fat Greek yogurt
1/2 cup superfine sugar
3 tablespoons light corn syrup
Fresh fruit or other toppings, for garnish


Whisk both yogurts, the sugar and corn syrup in a bowl until combined. Pour into an ice cream maker and freeze according to the manufacturer's instructions.

For a soft consistency, serve right out of the ice cream maker. For a firmer texture, transfer the frozen yogurt to a covered container and freeze for up to 2 hours. Serve with assorted toppings.

Read more at:{2C4766C1-E79F-4C8E-BBCE-D8B095BE4573}&oc=linkback
~~~~~ - - Kindness of strangers and luck make family's dream come true.

I have for you today a wonderful full circle story, a pitch you have to see to believe, & one of my fave country music singers.



POW's Ring Comes Home 7 Decades Later #KindnessOfStrangers!

Actress Throws Out Best First Pitch Ever! Throws Like A Girl? Oh Yeah!

Trisha Yearwood Talks Weight, Singing, Cooking, & Garth

Know anyone who would love to get this newsletter and brighten their day? Sign them up here.

Daryn's Upbeat Stories!

Copyright © *|2013* *|Journeyist, Inc.|*, All rights reserved.
Rasmussen Reports - - Education - - Friday, August 23, 2013

Voters Favor Choices for Prayer, Uniforms, Calendar in Schools

Most voters continue to think parents should be able to choose between schools based on such things as uniforms, prayer and how long the school year lasts.

Seventy-seven percent (77%) of Likely Voters now believe a parent should have a choice between sending their children to a school that allows prayer and a school that does not, according to a new Rasmussen Reports telephone survey.

68% Support Government-Recognized National Day of Prayer
49% Say Children’s Quality of Life is Worse Than a Generation Ago
34% Think More Spending Will Improve Education in America
25% Say High School Graduates Prepared For College
17% Say U.S. Public Schools Provide World-Class Education
On other issues …

82% Say U.S. Not Winning War on Drugs - - Americans continue to overwhelmingly believe the so-called war on drugs is failing.

59% Say Their Home is Worth More Now Than When They Bought It

56% Think Racism Not Chief Reason for Lack of Neighborhood Diversity Americans are closely divided on the importance of neighborhoods in this country being racially or ethnically diverse, but most believe racism is not the chief reason for a lack of diversity.

53% View Boehner Unfavorably Ohio Republican John Boehner draws his worst ratings since becoming speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives in early 2011.

52% Support Required Uniform Cameras For Police Officers A federal judge last week ruled that New York City Police Department's stop-and-frisk policy violates the rights of minorities and suggested a trial program that would require on-duty police officers to wear uniform cameras, a practice already utilized in some areas of the country.

51% Believe Manning Should Have to Serve Entire Sentence Chelsea Manning, formerly known as Bradley, was sentenced to 35 years in prison for releasing classified government documents to the website WikiLeaks.
To find out more about Scott Rasmussen, and read features by other Creators writers and cartoonists, visit
See Other Political Commentaries.
See Other Commentaries by Scott Rasmussen.
The latest from Michael Yon, the foremost “milnews” blogger on the web.

Syria: How did it get into this war?

A good refresher. Worth the time.
Utah beauty queen accused of throwing bombs resigns title

Wed Aug 14, 2013 2:25am EDT

(Reuters) - A Utah beauty queen accused along with three friends of throwing homemade bombs in a Salt Lake City suburb resigned her Miss Riverton title...

...Miss Riverton Pageant that Kendra Gill, 18, had resigned her position effective that day.....Gill, crowned Miss Riverton in June, and three other 18-year-olds were arrested earlier this month following a bomb-throwing spree...

The bombs were constructed from household chemicals, aluminum foil and plastic water bottles...

When questioned by police, one of the teens said he had spent the evening "‘pranking' with fireworks with friends,"...

They were charged on Friday with four counts each of felony bomb possession....

Please see:

Very Respectfully,
Michael Yon
Your Writer,

Please remember that this website accepts no advertisement and is dependent on your support.

PS Please sign up for my updates at "Michael_Yon" [] (not Michael Yon).
If you would like to encourage US Troops overseas, but are not sure just how to begin, visit for ideas.
5 Things New Veterans Expect From All Political Candidates

1. Defend the New GI Bill
2. Employ the New Greatest Generation
3. Prevent suicide among troops and veterans
4. Build a truly 21st Century VA
5. Improve Care for Female Veterans
Please remember ... America is not at war. The U.S. Military is at war. America is at the MALL.
Jimmy Malone shared this news story with us.

This is liberalism in a nutshell. "I don't care how hard you work, it's not fair that you always win."
Librarian wants to ban 5-time reading champ from contest

After Tyler Weaver read 63 books between June 24 and Aug. 3 to win this year’s Dig Into Reading competition at the Hudson Falls Public Library, director Marie Gandron told a reporter from the Glens Falls Post-Star that Weaver “hogs’’ the contest every year and should “step aside.”

“Other kids quit because they can’t keep up,’’ Gandron said.

Gandron told the Post-Star she initially wanted to change the contest rules so that the winners' names would be drawn out of a hat rather than just being the children who read the most books.

Lita Casey, a library aide for 28 years, told the Post-Star that Gandron’s idea to change the rules to picking names out of a hat is “ridiculous.”

“My feeling is you work, you get it,’’ Casey said. “That’s just the way it is in anything. My granddaughter started working on track in grade school and ended up being a national champ. Should she have backed off and said, ‘No, somebody else should win?’
Mustard Seed Financial - Aug 19 - David Ashby

The High Cost of Smoking is Higher Than You Think

If you are a smoker, you probably won’t read this. If you are a nonsmoker, tell a smoker about it. A recent article in the Wall Street journal caught my attention. The article discussed how smokers earn, on average, about 20 percent less than nonsmokers. That’s a lot of money at any wage level. In the study by the Atlanta Federal Reserve Bank, it didn't matter if you were a social smoker or a chain smoker, the wage difference was still there. We've all seen a worker standing outside the place of business smoking a cigarette. I figure smokers take more breaks than nonsmokers, which results in lost productivity. But I've also wondered about smokers prior to the break, thinking about that next cigarette. There’s probably some decline in productivity due to the mental distraction of smoking. Smokers also miss more days of work, on average 2 to 3 days, than nonsmokers. For whatever reasons, employers are docking smokers by a hefty margin according to the report.

Ever noticed that when you apply for life insurance, you pay a higher rate if you are a smoker? That seems pretty obvious of course, since smoking reduces your life expectancy. That means the life insurance company has to pay out sooner rather than later and collects premiums over a shorter period. Since smokers pay more for life insurance, how come they don’t pay more for health insurance? Well, they‘re starting to. Obamacare will allow insurers to charge differential premiums for smokers versus non-smokers. Plus some employers are already adapting to the idea. So if you are a smoker with health insurance coverage, you can expect to see your health insurance costs increase at a faster rate than non-smokers.

Besides health insurance premiums, smokers also pay out higher costs for health care. According to research published in the New England Journal of Medicine, smokers pay roughly 40 percent more in health costs than non-smokers at a given age. Of course, since smokers have a shorter life expectancy, the lifetime tab differential is less. Smokers live on average 13 to 14 years less than non-smokers. On average, one cigarette takes eleven minutes off your life.

Getting ready to sell your house? If you are a smoker, expect to get less for it. A study by Pfizer shows smokers get from 10 to 30 percent less for a home than a similar smoke free home. If you are a non-smoker and have ever been forced to take a smoking room at a hotel, you understand that. I imagine there is a similar discount on the sale of cars driven by smokers.

Despite all the costs discussed above, we haven’t even gotten to the price of cigarettes. I guess they are now over $5 a pack. At two packs a day, that is $300 a month, or $3,600 a year. At three packs a day, well, you can do the math. Unfortunately, for many families where a smoker is present, somebody in the family is doing without some things. Often it’s the kids, not to mention the second hand smoke they are getting, which will likely increase their health issues down the road.

Now for some back of the napkin calculations as to the lifetime cost of smoking. As mentioned above, smokers make about 20% less than non-smokers. Let’s conservatively say this costs $5,000 a year. There are also insurance and health care differentials that could amount to $1,000 a year or more. The cost of smoking a pack a day would be $1,800 a year. The costs of the decreased value of homes/vehicles and second hand smoke are hard to quantify but let’s just add another $500 per year as a “catch-all.” The annual cost could be approximately $8,300. Over a 40 year period adjusted for inflation this could cost you $1,000,000, which unless you are a member of Congress amounts to a significant sum of money.

As a teenager, I watched my grandfather die of emphysema. It’s a painful disease and it’s painful to witness someone who has it. I clearly recall a conversation with him where he advised me to never start smoking. That conversation was enough for me and it’s probably saved me a lot of money and health issues. In my grandfather’s defense, the hazards of smoking weren't well known back then. But in today’s world, you have to wonder what motivates a person to start smoking. Who wants to spend money, and lot’s of it, for a shorter, less healthy life? If you made it through this article and you are a smoker, maybe you've got a few new reasons to quit. The cost of smoking is extremely high.

Published in the Texarkana Gazette on August 18, 2013.
Favorite Quotes:

Mistakes are the portals of discovery. ~ James Joyce via Ron Hazelton

“Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.”
― Winston Churchill via Jimmy Malone
The following wisdom is shared by our friends and family.

Nancee Davis Law

Lord ... I will not back up, let up, put up or shut up until I have everything You have promised.

God sees our light when we only see our shadows.

If you only had everything you prayed for yesterday, what would you have?

Life is like an old dirt road. It can have bumps, twists and sometimes ruts but as long as you keep going, you'll get through it.

Nothing is hidden from Your sight
Wherever I go, You will find me
You know every detail of my life
You are God and You don't miss a thing

God sees our light when we only see our shadows.

When you're down and troubled and you need a helping hand, I've got a friend that you can call on. His name is Jesus

There is always gonna be someone in your life that makes you look forward to tomorrow

Before you judge someone, take a look at yourself

This is for somebody: God has a way of turning your situation around. It may look like, the storm will not cease, but I'm here to declare God is your peace.

#God is working things out for you, even when you don't feel it. Have #faith and be #thankful.

Definitely gonna be a more than 2 cups of coffee kind of day

Feed your faith and your fears will starve to death.

Use the Word as a weapon against thoughts of the world.

When I stand before #God at the end of my life, I hope that I don't have a single bit of talent left, and say, I used everything you gave me.

Change your thinking, change your life

Ever have one of those days where you don't want to get up and just want to sit around in your pj's all day....

It's not how many times you fall, it's about how many times you get back up and stand firm.

You may run but you can't hide, God knows exactly where you are

Sunday is the day to refuel your spirit so get up and get to church. Whatever you need, God's got it!

For the latest issue of "Da Bleat.", go to
Our photos are posted at
Photos on the front of this week’s “Bleat” include - - A steaming bowl of Annette's Homemade Soup, Her new "Posey", Josiah in his new Boy's and Girl's Club Football Equipment, The "Brown Duke" circa 1960, The Columbia County Courthouse.
Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
1 Thessalonians 6:20-21, Luke 9:22, Philemon 1:22, Titus 1:1, Galatians 6:7-9, Philemon 1:15-16, Philemon 1:8-9, Luke 9:24, Philemon 1:1-4
Break Point - - Raising Eric Metaxas (re-air)
Challenging Consumers of Culture
By: John Stonestreet
Published: August 23, 2013

The first question Chuck Colson asked someone interviewing for a job was: “So, what books are you reading these days?” He knew the answer would speak volumes.

I hope you heard Eric Metaxas on Tuesday’s BreakPoint broadcast on how important it is for Christians to tell great stories. He said Christians have a responsibility to join the artists and storytellers of culture, and can uniquely point culture to our good, true, and beautiful God. If you missed it, go to You’ll find it under “Commentaries.”

Eric is spot-on, as usual. But, I want to “see” his call for storytelling and “raise” him with a call for story hearing.

Here’s what I mean. Yes, Christians should be among the producers of great stories, art, books, TV shows, etc. But the fact of the matter is that few of us produce these cultural artifacts, but all of us consume them. Most of us aren’t movie producers, but movie watchers. Not authors, but readers.

And the books, songs, movies and media most Americans, including Christians, choose to consume these days are downright depressing. As Eric mentioned yesterday, the number one and two movies at the box office are ridiculously, almost pornographically, violent movies. And it’s Daily_Commentary_8_23_13not just violence and sex. It’s also the silliness that wastes enormous amounts of our time and our brains.

I first understood this after reading Neil Postman’s incredible book, “Amusing Ourselves to Death.” In it, he contrasts the futurist visions in George Orwell’s “1984” and Aldous Huxley’s “Brave New World.”

At first glance their visions were similar; but Postman suggests otherwise. “What Orwell feared,” Postman wrote, “were those who would ban books. What Huxley feared was that there would be no reason to ban a book, because there would be no one who wanted to read one . . . Orwell feared that the truth would be concealed from us. Huxley feared the truth would be drowned in a sea of irrelevance. Orwell feared we would become a captive culture. Huxley feared we would become a trivial culture … In short, Orwell feared that what we hate will ruin us. Huxley feared that what we love will ruin us.”

Any objective look at American culture, in which we evangelicals often seem intent on imitating and embracing, will tell you that Postman and Huxley were right.

So yes, Christians should produce great art and great stories, but we also have the responsibility to cultivate our taste so we prefer great art and great stories to the trivial, the senselessly violent, and the vulgar.

In his essay “Weight of Glory,” C. S. Lewis wrote: “We are half-hearted creatures . . . like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”

Let me paraphrase Lewis. "We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with reality TV, cheesy romance novels, and decorating our homes with trinkets—when we could watch great films, read great books, old and new, that accurately describe the human condition and cause us to examine our lives; and feast our eyes on works of art that point to a greater beauty and Truth."

Here are some small steps toward ennobling our tastes: Parents, read to your young children. Unplug the Newsletter_Gen_180x180_Bvarious screens in your home for a significant period of time each day. Encourage teens to read good books, including fiction. Read those yourself. Watch films together, especially as families, and discuss afterward. And pastors, don’t seek to entertain on Sundays, but to challenge. Aim for depth and worship, not mere emotional stimulation.

At, we’ve compiled a list of suggestions for great literature for young and old, great films, and even resources for pastors. Just click on this commentary to find them.

And remember: while we’re trying to shape the culture, the culture can also be shaping us.

(This commentary was originally aired on January 10, 2013).

Further Reading and Information

Challenging Consumers of Culture - Next Steps

Set aside Start cultivating your own tastes--read the great classics yourself and to your children. Get friends and family together and watch a great movie and then discuss the theme. Visit an art gallery exhibit of great paintings and sculpture.

And check out our latest Re: series video on our culture's fascination with mindless entertainment.


Amusing Ourselves to Death: Public Discourse in the Age of Show Business
Neil Postman | Penguin Books | December 2005

Other Resources:

Read a great book! Check out Chuck Colson’s recommended reading list

Books for youth as well: Youth Reads

Want to watch a great movie? We have some suggestions: BreakPoint’s recommended films

Pastors! Visit the Worldview Church website, filled with resources for pastors, by pastors

Copyright © 2013 Colson Center. All Rights Reserved
Photos on the front of this week’s “Bleat” include - - A steaming bowl of Annette's Homemade Soup, Her new "Posey", Josiah in his new Boy's and Girl's Club Football Equipment, The "Brown Duke" circa 1960, The Columbia County Courthouse.
Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.

Residents of Columbia County, Arkansas are represented in Congress by:

Senator John Boozman (R_ AR)
1 Russell Courtyard
Washington DC, 20510
Phone: 202-224-4843
Senator Mark Pryor (D_ AR)
Phone 202_224_2353
FAX 202_228_0908
Representative Tom Cotton (R )
Phone 202_225_3772
FAX 202_225_1314

Other states congresspersons can be found at: []

"In this world, you must be a bit too kind to be kind enough." - Pierre Carlet de Chamblain de Marivaux

"Lend yourself to others, but give yourself to yourself." - Michel de Montaigne

"If fate means you to lose, give him a good fight anyhow." - William McFee

"It's never too late to become what you might have been." - George Elliot

"Cheerfulness and contentment are great beautifiers and are famous preservers of youthful looks." - Charles Dickens

"Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die." - Malachy McCourt

"If I had my life to live over, I would perhaps have more actual troubles but I'd have fewer imaginary ones." - Don Herold

"Wit makes its own welcome, and levels all distinctions. No dignity, no learning, no force of character, can make any stand against good wit." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing." - Agatha Christie

"At first dreams seem impossible, then improbable, then inevitable." - Christopher Reeve

"Never ruin an apology with an excuse." - Kimberly Johnson

"To be able to ask a question clearly is two-thirds of the way to getting it answered." - John Ruskin

"If it takes a lot of words to say what you have in mind, give it more thought." - Dennis Roth

"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself." - Harvey Fierstein
Breaking Christian News
URGENT PRAYER NEEDED FOR BELIEVERS IN EGYPT – We just received a report from personnel in the Middle East that violence against Christians has escalated. Please pray for our brothers and sisters in Egypt.
Son Commands His Dead Father to Live; "Flabbergasted" Doctor Proclaims, "It's a Miracle"
Teresa Neumann (Aug 23, 2013)

"I'm calling it a miracle because I've never seen anything like it." -Dr. Raja Nazir

Tony(Kettering, OH) — Dr. Raja Nazir, a Kettering Medical Center cardiologist, was said to be "flabbergasted" after witnessing the miracle revival of his 37-year-old patient Anthony "Tony" Yahle, whose heart stopped beating for nearly an hour on August 5. (Photo:

"In the last 20 years," said Nazir, "I've never seen anybody we have pronounced dead… and then for him to come back… I've never seen it. I'm calling it a miracle," he added, "because I've never seen anything like it."

Numerous reports detail the sequence of events that led up to that miracle, starting with the fact that first responders were first called to Yahle's home when his wife, Melissa, noticed he wasn't breathing normally and couldn't rouse him from his sleep. It took several shocks delivered to Tony's heart by medics to find a heartbeat.

Then, at the hospital, his heart stopped altogether—for 45 minutes. Meanwhile, Melissa and her family and friends from church were praying up a storm.

LawrenceBut Dr. Nazir, who had done everything he could to bring Tony back to life, was quoted as saying that by that point he realized he must give up and call the time of death. And then…

Lawrence Yahle, Tony and Melissa's son, came running down the hospital corridor, burst into the room, and hearing the doctor pronounce his father dead, he pointed at his father and shouted, "Dad, you're not going to die today."

You guessed it. Moments later, Tony's heart started beating again and after a couple weeks of testing and recuperation, he is set to return to work on Monday.

Since the power of life and death is in the tongue (Proverbs 18:21), should we really be surprised?!
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GCF: Exercise Bike

The wife was determined to ride her exercise bike several miles a day.

Late one night, having put it off all day, she climbed aboard the noisy contraption in the bedroom, where her husband was reading a book.

After about 20 minutes of listening to the squeaky machine, he glanced up. "Don't you think it's time you turned around and headed for home?" he asked.
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Bottom of the Class

"I'm worried about you always being at the bottom of your class," said the father to his son.

"Don't worry Dad," he replied. "They still teach the same thing at both ends."
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Old Veteran

When I worked as a medical intern in a local hospital, one of my patients was an elderly man with a thick accent.

It took me some time to understand that he had no insurance coverage.

One thing he had made clear was that he was a World War II veteran, so I had him transported to the Veteran's Administration hospital, where he'd be eligible for benefits.

The next day my patient was back, with a note from the VA: "Right war, wrong side."
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Knitting

My wife is a knitting expert and designs unique exotic patterns all the time. Not long ago we had lunch in a real Chinese restaurant, where the menu was in Chinese and only the head waiter spoke English.

She was so impressed with the calligraphy on the handwritten menu that she used her smart phone to take a photo. Sometime later I saw the result -- a stunning white sweater with Chinese symbols hand-stitched down the front.

The sweater received compliments until one night at a party we met a distinguished Chinese gentleman. He asked my wife, "Where did you get the symbols on your sweater?"

She explained about the restaurant.

"Would you like to know what they mean?"

"I'm afraid to ask, but tell me anyway."

He read, "This is a cheap dish, but good."
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Grandma's Accident

I was lying in my hospital bed on the third day after an accident when my eight-year-old granddaughter arrived with her mom.

She looked in awe at the wrist-to-shoulder cast on left arm, then asked to see the rest of the damage. I showed her my broken right ankle, which wasn't in a cast yet; my left leg, bruised knee to thigh; and, pushing back my bangs a raw bump the size of an egg above my eyebrow.

Her blue eyes wide, she asked earnestly, "Grandma, can I take you to school tomorrow for show and tell?"
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Health Club

"I'm going to quit this health club."


"The floors are so low I can't touch my toes."
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Bank Account

Maury ran a small commercial real estate company. One day, a few years back, he sold his interest in one of his projects for 3 million dollars.

The only problem was that the guy who bought him out was a big shot in his very small hometown in Pennsylvania, and he wanted Maury to use the local bank branch where he had his business.

So Maury goes in to the guy's local bank and tells the teller he'd like to open a few accounts. The teller goes through the list of gifts you can get for your initial deposit. $300 gets you a toaster, $600 for a television, etc. The teller then asks him how much he would like to deposit. Without saying a word, Maury hands her the cashier's check.

The teller turns bright red, and runs to get her manager. The manager escorts him into her office, where they sit down. "Sir, welcome to our town. We're thrilled to have you as a customer. What can I get you?"

To which Maury replied, "I'll take 10,000 toasters."
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Plastic Surgery

In the plastic-surgery office where I work as a nurse, a 92 year-old patient was preparing to have some reconstructive surgery on her nose. She was extremely sharp and knowledgeable, asking many good questions about the procedure.

Just as the doctor was getting ready for the surgery, the woman said, "Now doctor, make me beautiful."

"Are you kidding me?" he replied. "You're already beautiful"

"Well, in that case," said the elderly woman, "Don't deface me."
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Hypochondriac

Hypochondriac that I am, I constantly log on to the Internet to self-diagnose my latest ailment. But even I knew it was time to lighten up the day I typed in the keywords "liver disorders." That let me to a medical site. With growing alarm I realized I had each of the first seven symptoms. Then I came to No.8 and suddenly felt much better: "Feeling of lethargy. No longer enjoys romping and wagging tail."
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Donation

Last week, my wife and I returned home from shopping and saw a card hanging from our mailbox. Without getting out of the car, my wife sighed and told me that a local charity was doing a used-clothing drive and she had forgotten to put out the bags as she had promised. She was surprised when she read the card's message, thanking us for our kind donation. A look of horror then crossed her face as she realized that the two bags of leaves we had raked and bagged the previous night were now gone.
_ _______________________________ _
| All computers wait
| at the same speed.
_ _______________________________ _
| Why does "slow down"
| and "slow up"
| mean the same thing?
_ _______________________________ _
| The sooner you fall behind,
| the more time you'll have
| to catch up.
_ _______________________________ _
| I think it's wrong
| that only one company
| makes the game "Monopoly."
_ _______________________________ _
| Conference :
| The confusion of one person
| multiplied by the number present.
_ _______________________________ _
| I haven't been feeling so great.
| I swallowed a door knob,
| and it keeps turning my stomach.
_ _______________________________ _
| The older you get, the tougher
| it is to lose weight, because
| by then your body and your fat
| are really good friends.
_ _______________________________ _
| To get maximum attention,
| just make a great
| big mistake.
_ _______________________________ _
| The person who knows everything
| has the most to learn.
_ _______________________________ _
| It is unfortunate that, as we
| grow up, nature robs us of the
| knowledge of what youngsters are
| always giggling about.
_ _______________________________ _
| Thomas S. Ellsworth
_ _______________________________ _

If this was forwarded to you, please consider your own subscription to Good Clean Fun. It's free! Just send an email to:
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Two blondes were sipping their Starbucks latt├ęs when a truck went past loaded up with rolls of sod.
"I'm going to do that when I win the lottery," announced Blonde #1.

"Do what?" asked Blonde #2.

"Send my lawn out to be mowed."

Thanks to Joe Mullins
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A group of women were at a seminar on "How to live in a loving relationship with your husband."
The women were asked, "How many of you love your husband?"
All the women raised their hands.
Then they were asked, "When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?"
Some women answered today, some yesterday, some couldn't remember.
The women were then told to take out their cell phones and text their husband: "I love you, sweetheart."
The women were then told to exchange phones and to read aloud the text message responses.

Here are some of the replies:

1. Who is this?
2. Eh, mother of my children, are you sick?
3. I love you too.
4. What now? Did you crash the car again?
5. I don't understand what you mean?
6. What did you do now?
7. ?!?
8. Don't beat about the bush, just tell me how much you need?
9. Am I dreaming?
10. If you don't tell me who this message is actually for, someone will die.
11. I thought we agreed we would not drink during the day.
12. Your mother is coming to stay, isn't she??

Thanks to Corinne
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Two Black Eyes

One Sunday morning, a wife complained of a bad stomach ache and wouldn't be able to attend the church service, so her husband went alone. When he returned later, he had two black eyes!

When she asked what happened, he explained that when everyone rose to sing a hymn, he noticed the lady in the pew in front of him had her dress tucked into her rear end. Well, being ever the gentleman, he figured she wouldn't want to be seen that way, so he reached forward and pulled it out for her. She turned around and slugged him in the eye!

"But," his wife said, "how did the OTHER eye get black too?"

He explained: "When she turned back around, I was still a bit stunned, but I thought to myself she must have wanted it there, so I reached forward and gently tucked it back in."

Received from Becky Day.


Trombone Housekeeper

A trombonist had a fantastic gig on the day he had to play in an opera. He tried to find a replacement but without success. Finally he went to his housekeeper and convinced him to take his place. "I give you my other trombone. You just do what the guy next to you is doing, and it will be OK."

The next morning he asked the housekeeper how it was.

"Catastrophe. Your colleague sent also his housekeeper to replace him."

Received from ArcaMax Jokes.


Still Waiting

After waiting more than an hour and a half for her date, Sarah decided she had been stood up.

Exasperated, she changed from her dinner dress into pajamas and slippers, fixed some popcorn and hot chocolate, and resigned herself to an evening of TV.

No sooner had she flopped down in front of the TV when the doorbell rang. Her dad went to the door, and there stood her date.

He took one look at Sarah on the couch and gasped. "I'm two hours late and she's still not ready?"

Received from Doc's Daily Chuckle.


Wrong Pants

Teacher: Joey, if you put your hand in one pants pocket and found 75 cents, then you put your other hand in your other pants pocket and found 50 cents, what would you have?

Joey: I'd have somebody else's pants on!

Received from ArcaMax Jokes.


Puns and Such

If Santa Claus had a father, do you think there must have been a Grandfather Claus?

We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.
(Aesop, 620 BC - 560 BC)

I always prayed before my trigonometry tests. I was hoping for a sine from above.
(Pun of the Day)

Why do crazy people always jump off the tops of buildings to see if they can fly? Wouldn't it be safer to try to fly UP to the top?
(Aaron Luchich in Ruminations)

Q: What's the difference between a church bell and a politician?
A: A church bell peals from the steeple.
(Stan Kegel's Puns of the Day)

Old age is when former classmates are so gray and wrinkled and bald, they don't recognize you.

"Nothing raises a golf score like witnesses."
(from a fortune cookie)

Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11?

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. Something is very wrong when you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree.

I'm trying to save my money. Who knows? One day it may be valuable.

It's amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawnmower, snow blower, or vacuum cleaner.

Overheard on the Pediatrics floor: "Are you medical or surgical?"
"I don't know what you mean."
"Were you sick when you came in here, or did they make you sick when you got here?"

I used to try a lot of different sports when I was a kid, without ever excelling in any particular one. Then I got older and realized you can *buy* trophies. Now I'm good at everything.
(Demetri Martin)

This car: designed by computer, built by robot, driven by moron.

Billboard for a safe company: "If your stuff is stolen, it's not our vault."

Received from FranCMT2.


At The Vet

One day at the veterinarian's office where I take my cat, a man and the receptionist were verbally sparring.

After a few moments a technician came to her co-worker's defense. "Sir," she interjected, "do you know what happens to aggressive males in this office?"

Received from Steve Sanderson.



As a new school principal, Mr. Mitchell was checking over his school on the first day. Passing the stockroom, he was startled to see the door wide open and teachers bustling in and out, carrying off books and supplies in preparation for the arrival of students the next day.

The school where he had been a principal the previous year had used a checkout system only slightly less elaborate than that at Fort Knox.

Cautiously, he asked the school's long-time custodian, "Do you think it's wise to keep the stockroom unlocked and to let the teachers take things without requisitions?"

The custodian looked at him gravely. "We trust them with the children, don't we?" he said.

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.


Better Grades

The little boy wasn't getting good marks in school.

One day he made the teacher quite surprised. He tapped her on the shoulder and said, "I don't want to scare you, but my daddy says if I don't get better grades, somebody is going to get a spanking."

Received from Pastor Tim.



Recently a young woman came into my father's insurance office with her newborn twins.

Dad asked her if she ever had any trouble telling them apart.

She gave him a funny look before responding, "No, I haven't had any problem. This is Benjamin, and this is Elizabeth."

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.


Rate this funny at

Brought to you by The Good, Clean Funnies List A cheerful heart is good medicine... (Prov 17:22a) Mail address:
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The latest GCFL funny can always be found on the web at
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Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Column - -

Limerick Ode To Elmore Leonard

Written with fond apologies to the late, lamented Elmore Leonard, after re-reading his New York Times piece, WRITERS ON WRITING; Easy on the Adverbs, Exclamation Points and Especially Hooptedoodle. (His article cautions against the abuse of prologues, adverbs and other description, exclamation points, weather references, regional dialect, the word “suddenly,” etc.)

On a hot, sunny day, an attractive young man sat in a tiny, darkened room, compulsively reading Elmore Leonard’s essay on writing. Carefully noting his ten writing no-nos, he bellowed loudly, “Fuggedaboutit! I can violate all of Leonard’s rules in a single limerick!”

“It’s raining!” he loudly cried out.
Then suddenly felt like a lout.
“A mensch I shall be…”
From this you can see
Leonard’s rules are what writing’s about.

© Madeleine Begun Kane. All Rights Reserved.
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"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." __ Franklin D. Roosevelt
"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. _ _ George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" _ _ Queen E. Watson
“A political class of Republicans and Democrats that look after themselves, not the Nation. A media hostile to the very precepts of this nation. A generation of Americans who see morals as vices, and are ignorant of America's Actual History.”
"The things that will destroy America are prosperity-at-any-price, peace-at-any-price, safety-first instead of duty-first, the love of soft living, and the get-rich-quick theory of life." - - Theodore Roosevelt
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Emergency Phone Number 911
(Fire, Police, Ambulance, Sheriff, etc. )
Central Dispatch 234_5655
(Non _ Emergency Number)
Direct Numbers
Ambulance _ 234_7371 (24 Hour)
Jail _ 234_5331 (24 Hour)
Poison Control _ 800_222_1222 (24 Hour)
http://www. aapcc. org/
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Interested in getting in touch with the Banner_News through e_mail? For the editor, For news and sports items, Coming Events, Diary, Church News, school and civic events. []
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"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." __ "Bug"
"I read the end of the book. We win!" __ "Bug"
"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." __ "Bug"
"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." _ _ "Bug"
"It's no big deal doing what God tells you to do. A big deal would be NOT doing what God tells you to do. Just ask Jonah." _ _ Paul Troquille
“Nam et ipsa scientia potestas est.” Knowledge is power. _ Francis Bacon
"The problem is here and now. The time for talk is past. The time for action is now."
Comments on the first Earth Day _ James F. McClellan via John "Fuzzy" Thurman
Hope you enjoy the newsletter.
Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" __"Bug"
God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
God is Good and Faithful CU 73 IC JFM CSP NREMT_I KC5HII

P. S. If you'd like to be added to the distribution, just drop us E_mail at
. We offer "Da Bleat" as text, a "Blog" and as a newsletter with pictures in Word and PDF format. The latest issue is usually updated sometime Saturday. For the latest issue, go to We also have a site [] where we post photos that I like.
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Sunday, August 11, 2013

Bug's Bleat - - GCF: House Cleaning

Janna, Annette, Shirley and Mechelle,

The Incredibly Gifted Wife of My Youth and Bug,

Our Missouri Kin Folks sing at the Mission Church,

Annette Studying,


Annette worshiping,

Pastor Jimmy prepares to baptize "Da Boys" and several other baby Christians.

The Mission Church sign,

Dustin with his Missouri Kin; Mechelle and Janna

Annette's Hibiscus Just Keeps Blooming

We're looking for these "rose" colored paver stones. They measure 1.75" thick, 5.5" wide and are either square (like this one) or 8.5" long. Annette started laying them and then found out that Walmart has no more. Lowes and Home Depot also didn't have any.

Volume 15, Issue 31 Friday, August 09, 2013

Hello ALL,

In spite of situations, we still find a plethora of things to laugh about. At the doctor’s Tuesday, Annette was trying to tell me something and, when I didn’t understand, I repeated back to her, what I thought she had said. Instead of confirming that I had heard her correctly, she told me to lower my voice.

It seems that the exam room walls were paper thin. So I tried asking again in, what I thought was, a quieter voice. Annette’s reaction indicated that I was still talking loud.

So I tried for a third time to whisper. But, by this time, Annette was so tickled by my attempts to understand her; she’d forgotten what she tried to tell me in the first place.

When the nurse came in, we were both holding our sides and laughing so hard we were crying. Then, to make it worse, the nurse asked us what was so funny. But, since neither of us remembered why this whole episode started … we just continued to laugh uncontrollably.
Annette asked Ethan if he and Josiah ever fought.

“Not really too much.” He said. “Like when we’re playing chess, I’ll say it’s my move, he’ll say it’s his move. … My move. No My Move. No My Move. No My Move. My Move. My Move. My Move. … SMACK!”
You know, bothers are the same the world over.
Josiah and Ethan decided to build with wood.

Ethan built a Shelf. :0)
The Arkansas Emergency Medical Conference is one of the best in the nation. National and even international speakers on a verity of topics, plenty of continuing education hours, a truly impressive vendor display and some of the finest folks in the US to “Conference” with. Here’s one of my “buds” comments on the whole thing.
JoAnn Griesenauer

Ok I think I may be ready to leave a day early for Hot Springs. I have rushed to get things done and did all the girly stuff.

The reason a lot of us get amped up for conference in Arkansas is because we consider ourselves an EMS family, it is a strong brother and sisterhood than most realize. It is kind of like Cheers, where everybody knows everybody and we all share the same bond. We "get" each other.

Unless you are constantly challenged on a day to day basis with life or death decisions, one will never understand how our mind works. The prehospital setting is unique; we are the first ones in or the first to run towards danger not away.

We know we have loved ones home but when we get that call, nothing else matters. We only zone in on the task ahead. We don't always get every call right, we certainly don't save everyone either. We just do whatever it takes one call at a time.

It takes a huge toll on us emotionally, mentally, spiritually, financially, and physically. We go through so much we just block out whatever bothers us so we can do our job and hope we all go home.

Most of us can walk into a room and assess everything within seconds as it is second nature. We have crude jokes at the dinner table; we have poor eating and sleeping habits. Most of us are lucky to live to age 60 if we don't burn out within the first 5 to 7 years.

Our families, wow they should get the award and recognition because they sacrifice so much to let us do our job. Oh, and on our days off, we don't get any because there is always an emergency somewhere and God tends to put us where he needs us. The phone never stops ringing because someone needs medical advice or an understanding ear.

We fix and solve everything for so many that count on us for the answers. We didn't sign up for that part but it comes with the job.

I realized a few days ago, I was getting choked up with a couple of my patient’s situations. The elderly really get to me because they have transitioned into a world that if you can't keep up, society leaves them. It has been a really rough year for me personally to return back to my career. I know my limits and when it is time to get a break.

We can't discuss our calls due to privacy acts but after a while it is more about how we cope through the calls through camaraderie of those that understand without having to tell the story.

This is just short insight into why we get excited about our EMS conference.
News Item: The FCC is considering modifying its indecency policies regarding the use of profanity and non-sexual nudity on radio and network television.

The FCC issued a public notice []. Basically, the “big three” networks have asked that they be allowed to use “Non Sexual” nudity and “explicit” language in their normal program stream. I guess I can understand the concept of “Non Sexual” nudity although many of their shows already have fairly explicit “Non Nudity” sex scenes and language.
As a sign of our societies continuing decent into crudeness, rudeness and bad manners this news story that discusses the use of racial epithets in daily language caught my eye.
It still surprises me how many folks (of all ages) now think it “normal” to use profanity in their daily public language. And, humor now has to involve some bodily function to appeal to the average person. I looked back to one of our favorite authors, an English Lawyer and one of my mother’s favorite comediennes to get their opinions on the issue.

“A dying culture invariably exhibits personal rudeness. Bad manners. Lack of consideration for others in minor matters. A loss of politeness, of gentle manners, is more significant than is a riot...”
― Robert A. Heinlein, Friday

“For if you suffer your people to be ill-educated, and their manners to be corrupted from their infancy, and then punish them for those crimes to which their first education disposed them, what else is to be concluded from this, but that you first make thieves and then punish them.”
― Thomas More, Utopia

“The line between the public life and the private life has been erased, due to the rapid decline of manners and courtesy. There is a certain crudeness and crassness that has suddenly become accepted behavior, even desirable.”
― Fannie Flagg, Welcome to the World, Baby Girl!
I don’t have room here to chronicle a tenth of the rudeness and inconsideration we see on a daily basis, but here are a couple of my “favorites”:
1. Leaving shopping carts all over the parking lot, effectively blocking parking as well as potentially damaging vehicles. And many (if not most) are left just a few steps away from a cart corral!
2. Blaring loud music into the ears of unwilling listeners. There’s a vehicle that passes my home several times a day, often rattling our windows.
On the other hand, there are still a majority of folks who do use good manners. You see them offer their place in line at the grocery to someone with just a few items. They hold the door for folks. They use polite language, etc.

As for crude humor and language … Annette and I have resigned ourselves to being in the minority. We don’t expect the world to bend to our preferences, so we just continue to edit our lives to avoid whatever we can that doesn’t edify us.
Listened to a home schooling debate the other day where much of the discussion centered on how we need the government to make sure we don't "miss educate" our kids.

Then I listened (we were traveling and I had the XM radio on NPR) to a San Francisco regulator RANTING about the horrible folks who had started using smart phone apps to sell rides to San Francisco citizens. You load the app, enter your location, destination and time to depart and the app hooks you up with a ride share service. The services are EXPLODING due to the poor service of San Francisco cabbies that have government licenses (the same license that takes years to obtain from the RANTING bureaucrats department.)

I personally wouldn't home school, couldn't do it. And I know many fine teachers who do a great job educating the kids in their charge. But I also know many parents who home schooled their kids and did a better job than their local school could. And … they didn't have to have a master’s in education to do it.

As for folks who home school and shouldn’t, well child abuse and endangerment laws still apply. Failure to educate kids falls under that. P.S. are you a supporter of "No Child Let Succeed" as currently pushed by the feds? I don't know of a single teacher who thinks standardized tests are an improvement to the education process.

As for cab licenses, etc. Supposedly they are enacted to ensure that the streets aren’t clogged with cabs and the ones that are on the street are safe and qualified. But if that was working, why would so many folks in San Francisco choose the Ride Share services over cabs?

Bottom line, I continue to believe that we can actually do many things without our government telling us how or giving us permission.
The Citizenship Project - - Re. The article by Mr. Prager that we posted yesterday - There are two sides to life, law and love. The goal is to keep them in balance. Yet we now call people "insensitive" if they even bring up things like law and standards.
Unfortunately that doesn't make them go away, and love without law is anarchy. We need to value law and standards in our culture equally with love if we are to survive and succeed. Most of them are just common sense.
Dennis Prager contends that the US is still the Least Racist Country in the World - - The Left needs to position America as a racist country to sustain its political success.
EarthSky’s meteor shower guide for 2013 - - The weekend of August 9-11, 2013 is a wonderful time to watch for meteors!
Why the World Is Smarter Than Us

Why is the U.S. lagging behind our peers in educating our students? The Daily Beast’s Dana Goldstein on a new book with a startling conclusion: they value intellect more than we do.
French Revolution
Why Are Young People Leaving Church?
By David French
Hint: It's not because they're just too awesome for it.
David Ashby's Article: "So How's Your Retirement Coming Along?"
Mustard Seed Financial

So How's Your Retirement Coming Along?

The baby boomers are in transition, moving from workforce to retirement at the rate of about 10,000 a day. The first boomers were born in 1946 and this year they are turning 67. So the oldest of boomers are largely retired by now and this major trend of boomer transition will continue another 15 years or so. At its close, this transition will have seen one out of every four Americans move from workforce age into retirement.

We've heard some pretty dire warnings about the savings rate in this country, that boomers specifically weren't socking away enough money to retire on. And I think those warnings are well founded. Over half the households headed by folks age 55 to 60 have less than $50,000 in savings at that stage in their life. The low savings rate combined with the market crash of 2008 created a potentially bleak scenario for those close to retirement age. But what about the oldest of boomers, those who have already retired? How are they doing? Are they living on mac and cheese or are they making it fairly well? According to an article by Mary Beth Franklin of InvestmentNews, the earliest boomer retirees are in fact doing quite well. She bases her information on a research report by the Metlife Mature Market Institute.

For starters, boomers are not delaying retirement to the extent anticipated as a result of the market crash of 2008. The Metlife Institute surveyed 1,000 boomers born in 1946 and found that 52 percent of them had already retired. Of those who had retired, over half reported that that they in fact retired earlier than expected. Of course, not all early retirements are a good thing. Some were due to health issues or job losses. But the widely expected delays in retirement haven’t panned out as projected by many.

What about the standard of living for those retirees? While total income goes down for almost all retirees once they leave the workplace, an amazing 80 percent of the retirees reported no decline in their standard of living. This is due in some part to lower expenses in retirement plus the collection of Social Security benefits. Only 20 percent reported a decline in their standard of living. Most of these boomers, 86 percent, are collecting Social Security. Of those, half of them reported collecting benefits earlier than they had planned to. This is probably the result of a weak economy plus low savings accounts. Drawing Social Security benefits early, say at age 62, often results in collecting less funds over your lifetime. But hey, today we must eat!

I’ll admit that I’m surprised that early boomer retirees are doing as well as reported, particularly the 80 percent figure of same or higher standard of living after retirement. This flies in the face of the data on personal savings rates. On the other hand, when I look around at the retirees I know, they are doing quite well. So the 80 percent figure seems consistent with what I observe anecdotally.

I have wondered if the earliest batch of boomers is better prepared for retirement than later boomers. Most folks who lived during the Great Depression never forgot it and it affected the way they looked at money for the rest of their lives. So the early boomers are closest to Depression era attitudes and may have done a better job of preparing for retirement than later boomers. I suspect money attitudes may be different, for example, for a boomer born in 1946 versus one born in 1960.

There are a couple of takeaways here. First, while fortunately retirement seems to be going well for early boomers, don’t take that as a sign that you can slack off preparing for it. Specifically, larger nest eggs give you more options in retirement than smaller nest eggs. You don’t want to be in the group who sees a decline in standard of living.

Second, while many of the 1946 boomers have chosen to draw Social Security early, that may not be in your best interest long term. If you begin drawing at age 62, your monthly payment will be roughly 75 percent of what it would be at age 66. At age 80, you may be wishing you had the higher payment. You can also delay drawing benefits beyond your normal retirement age and receive an even larger monthly check down the road. For folks who don’t need the money to live on and expect a long retirement this is often the best strategy to maximize payout of Social Security benefits. Here’s hoping you have the kind of retirement the first wave of boomers is seeing!

Published in the Texarkana Gazette on July 21, 2013.
Genesis 47:13-27


I would love to give the Pastor in Virginia three cheers. This guy is obviously a leader. Perhaps we should each decide who our real leader is... It is amazing to see that very little has changed in 4,000 years.

Good morning, brothers and sisters; it's always a delight to see the pews crowded on Sunday morning, and so eager to get into God's Word. Turn with me in your Bibles, if you will, to the 47th chapter of Genesis. We'll begin our reading at verse 13, and go through verse 27.

Brother Ray, would you stand and read that great passage for us? ... (reading) ... Thank you for that fine reading, Brother Ray. So we see that economic hard times fell upon Egypt, and the people turned to the government of Pharaoh to deal with this for them. And Pharaoh nationalized the grain harvest, and placed the grain in great storehouses that he had built. So the people brought their money to Pharaoh, like a great tax increase, and gave it all to him willingly in return for grain. And this went on until their money ran out, and they were hungry again.

So when they went to Pharaoh after that, they brought their livestock - their cattle, their horses, their sheep, and their donkey - to barter for grain, and verse 17 says that only took them through the end of that year. But the famine wasn't over, was it? So the next year, the people came before Pharaoh and admitted they had nothing left, except their land and their own lives. "There is nothing left in the sight of my lord but our bodies and our land. Why should we die before your eyes, both we and our land? Buy us and our land for food, and we with our land will be servants to Pharaoh. " So they surrendered their homes, their land, and their real estate to Pharaoh's government, and then sold themselves into slavery to him, in return for grain.

What can we learn from this, brothers and sisters?

That turning to the government instead of to God to be our provider in hard times only leads to slavery? Yes... That the only reason government wants to be our provider is to also become our master?

Yes. After Jacob and Joseph passed on, and the Jews began to drift away from their GOD, even they too became slaves in the land of Egypt.

I also tell you a great truth today, and an ominous one.

We see the same thing happening today - the government today wants to "share the wealth" once again, to take it from us and redistribute it back to us. It wants to take control of healthcare, just as it has taken control of education, and ration it back to us, and when government rations it, then government decides who gets it, and how much, and what kind. And if we go along with it, and do it willingly, then we will wind up no differently than the people in Egypt did four thousand years ago - as slaves to the government, and as slaves to their leaders.

What our government is doing now is no different from what Pharaoh's government did then, and it will end the same.

Thanks to Waneta
US officials tighten crude-by-rail shipping rules |

In a letter to American Petroleum Institute CEO Jack Gerard last week, the Federal Railroad Administration said it is investigating whether some crude shipments contain chemicals -- possibly from the hydraulic-fracturing process used to extract it --that make them more hazardous than indicated.

The Federal Railroad Administration said it is investigating whether some crude shipments contain chemicals -- possibly from the hydraulic-fracturing process used to extract it -- that make them more hazardous than their classification indicates. The agency suspects mixes of crude and other chemicals might be the cause of an increase in damage to tank cars caused by "severe corrosion."

The action is the latest by the agency to toughen regulation of the transport by rail of crude oil after a runaway train hauling tank cars with crude oil derailed and exploded last month, killing 47 people and ravaging the Quebec town of Lac-Megantic. More than 34 million bbl of crude were delivered to US refineries by train in 2012, a five-fold increase compared with a year earlier, according to the Energy Information Administration.

The company that operated that train, Montreal, Maine & Atlantic Railway Ltd., filed for bankruptcy protection Wednesday in US Bankruptcy Court in Bangor, Maine. Its Canadian counterpart filed for protection from creditors.

The latest FRA action "looks like a shot over the bow," said Grady Cothen, a former FRA safety official who is now a transportation-policy consultant. "They seem to be saying, "Get your house in order or we'll do it for you.'"
Rasmussen Reports - - 2016 Will Not Feature Christie vs. Clinton By Scott Rasmussen

One of the sure signs that political activists have too much time on their hands is all the chatter about who will win the 2016 presidential nominations.
In this 50-50 nation, Americans remain closely divided over whether government is the problem or the solution. Read More
57% Are Less Likely To Vote for A Candidate Caught in a Sex Scandal

Most voters say the rise of social media and increased electronic communication are causing more politicians to get caught misbehaving, and it's costing those politicians their vote. Read More
60% Think Muslims Are Not Treated Unfairly in America

Many Americans are suspicious of Muslims in this country, but most continue to believe that American Muslims are not treated unfairly here.
61% Favor Raising Minimum Wage to $10.10 An Hour

Most Americans don't think it's possible to live on the current minimum wage of $7.25 an hour and favor raising it dramatically. They also believe the minimum wage should continue to rise to keep up with inflation even though they don't necessarily see that as good for the economy. Read More
61% Expect Health Care in U.S. To Get Worse Over Next Two Years

Voters continue to give high marks to the health care they now receive but are more pessimistic than ever about the short-term future of the health care system in this country.
62% Would Feel Safer If Their Child Attended A School With An Armed Guard

Arkansas' state attorney general last week limited the ability of local school districts to have armed guards. But most Americans with school-age children continue to say they would feel safer if their child attended a school with an armed guard and think the decision to put armed guards in the schools should be made by local government officials.
74% Rarely or Never Use Mass Transit

Most Americas seldom, if ever use mass transit, but they still tend to believe the government should back mass transit projects as long as they don't lose money. Read More
74% Oppose Making Minimum Wage Different for Different Age Groups

Americans recognize that more minimum-wage fast-food jobs are now being held by workers who are over 20, but while they favor raising the minimum wage, they don't think that wage should be even higher for those who are older. Read More
75% Favor Buying Health Insurance Across State Lines

Most voters still don't like President Obama's national health care law, and more voters than ever favor buying health insurance across state lines to increase consumer options.
To find out more about Scott Rasmussen, and read features by other Creators writers and cartoonists, visit
See Other Political Commentaries.
See Other Commentaries by Scott Rasmussen.
From Car Talk

This week we learned that teens are driving less: According to AAA, only 44 percent of teenagers are getting their license the first year they could, and only 54 percent have licenses before turning 18.

Do you know the primary reason teenagers don’t have driver’s licenses? According to a University of Michigan study released this week, 26.9 percent say they’re “too busy” and “don’t have enough time.” What, not enough time to get the keys to the kingdom, a card that used to be a rite of passage for all 16-year-olds? I would have walked through hot coals.

Our own Jim Hannah makes the case that iPads can also provide freedom, escape (and expense!) just like cars did for us as teens.
The latest from Michael Yon, the foremost “milnews” blogger on the web.

Please see this, and take action.
Thank you.
While searching for Kopp-Etchells images, I stumbled across a trove of old combat video already forgotten.
One clip of many
Please donate,117/view,donation/ to keep my work alive.
Please see this brief interview (Slight correction: Unfortunately, I never actually met Ben.
Three more articles came out this week. All three honored Benjamin Kopp and Joseph Etchells, an American Ranger and a British Soldier, both killed in Afghanistan combat.

The third story came out today in the Daily Mail in the UK.

Very Respectfully,
Michael Yon
Your Writer,

Please remember that this website accepts no advertisement and is dependent on your support.

PS Please sign up for my updates at "Michael_Yon" [] (not Michael Yon).
If you would like to encourage US Troops overseas, but are not sure just how to begin, visit for ideas.
5 Things New Veterans Expect From All Political Candidates

1. Defend the New GI Bill
2. Employ the New Greatest Generation
3. Prevent suicide among troops and veterans
4. Build a truly 21st Century VA
5. Improve Care for Female Veterans
Please remember ... America is not at war. The U.S. Military is at war. America is at the MALL.

"Remember the past, plan for the future, but live for today, because yesterday is gone and tomorrow may never come"

Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of the Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio .

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most requested column I've ever written.

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short – enjoy it.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye, but don't worry, God never blinks.

16.. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful. Clutter weighs you down in many ways.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19.. It's never too late to be happy. But it’s all up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, and wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative of dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have, not what you need

42. The best is yet to come...

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."
Friends are the family that we choose.
Just living is not enough... one must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower. ~Hans Christian Andersen
Thanks to Corinne Reagan
Representative Tom Cotton (R_ AR) has announced that he is challenging Senator Mark Pryor (D_ AR) for Pryor’s Senate Seat.

I’m hoping that Republican Beth Anne Rankin (a businesswoman, entrepreneur, teacher and former Miss Arkansas) will run. She would be an outstanding representative for any district. But she hasn’t “yet” announced and Lt. Gov. Mark Darr has moved to Mansfield in the 4th Congressional District in preparation to announcing for his expected bid for the seat being vacated by Rep. Tom Cotton, R-Ark.

Darr, a Republican, has said any criticism about him being a newcomer to the 4th District could be countered by his pointing out that the residents there — and the entire state — are already his constituents as lieutenant governor.

In addition to Darr, state Rep. Bruce Westerman, R-Hot Springs, is expected to enter the race along with
Hot Springs Democrat, Janis Percefull, who is already is vying for the seat.
As featured on

Starting a Walking Program

For a healthier, happier lifestyle, try walking — the most popular form of exercise.

It's easy, safe, and inexpensive. It's also relaxing and at the same time invigorating, requires little athletic skill, and does not call for club membership or special equipment other than sturdy, comfortable shoes. And it is fun and natural — good for your mind and self-esteem.
Another diabetes vitamin deficiency?

Metformin and Vitamin B12 Deficiency. Do you take metformin? Has your doctor ever tested your levels of vitamin B12?

Research has shown that metformin use can increase the risk of B-12 deficiency in patients taking insulin. It's not a simple matter of self treatment, however — before starting a supplement regimen, ask your doctor to test your vitamin B levels.

In one study, 390 participants, all of whom had diabetes, were divided into two groups: half were given 850mg of metformin three times a day for an average of 4.3 years, and the other half of the participants were given a placebo (a pill that looked the same but was inactive). B12 levels were recorded every 13 months. Researchers found that B12 levels in those taking metformin were 19 percent lower than those taking the placebo.

Low levels of vitamin B12 can cause fatigue and anemia, which can compound the difficulty of diabetes management. Symptoms or not, however, if you take metformin, ask your doctor for a test.
~ dLife • P.O. Box 8830 • Westport, CT 06888
New York Breakfast

2005, Ellie Krieger, All Rights Reserved
Serves: 4 (2 piece) servings


8 pieces packaged, thin pumpernickel bread (3 1/2 by 3 1/2 inches))
1/4 cup whipped cream cheese
8 ounces thinly sliced smoked salmon
1/2 red onion, thinly sliced
1/4 English cucumber, thinly sliced
2 medium tomatoes, core, seeded and diced
2 teaspoons chopped, fresh chives
Salt and pepper


Toast the bread and spread 1 1/2 teaspoons of cream cheese on top of each piece. Put a slice of smoked salmon, a couple of slices of onion, one or 2 slices of cucumber, and about 1 tablespoon of chopped tomato on top of that. Sprinkle with chives and season with salt and pepper.
Copyright 2013 Television Food Network G.P.

Read more at:,1946,FOOD_9936_33588_RECIPE-PRINT-FULL-PAGE-FORMATTER,00.html?oc=linkback
Favorite Quotes:

The more I learn about people, the better I like my dog. - Mark Twain
Don't go through life, grow through life. ~ Eric Butterworth via Ron Hazelton
Teaching: The only profession where you steal things from home and bring them to work.
It does not matter how slowly you go ... so long as you do not stop.
Science Fact: If you took all of the veins from your body and laid them end to end, you would die.
I don't know what your destiny will be, but one thing I do know: The ones among you who will really be happy are those that have sought and found how to serve. ~ Albert Schweitzer via Ron Hazelton
The following wisdom is shared by our friends and family.
Martha Chapman
Irony is when someone writes "Your an idiot".
Steve Ford (writing from Kids Church Camp.)
Hey here's something HILARIOUS to do! After the counselors call lights out, wait a bit until it gets quiet. Then make the sound of really loud flatulence. Everyone will roar with laughter, guaranteed! —
Amanda Bowen Franks
If you don't change your thoughts, you cannot change your actions!
Nancee Davis Law

Sometimes I wake up grouchy, other times I let him sleep. lol

You have to live with the choices you make so make sure you can sleep in the bed you make.

Be content where God has placed you

I've got a Great- Big- Wonderful God

Chocolate makes everything better.

Sometimes God's blessings are not in what He gives, but in what He takes away. Stop trying to pick up what God told you to put down.

When you call on Jesus, ALL things are possible!

God knows all my needs before I even ask

The Battle you are going through may be hard but God knows what He is doing and He is good at what He does!
Trust in Him and He will bring you through!

In Jesus you have a hiding place where trouble cannot find you

I'm No Longer Defined by the Wreckage Behind Me.

Sunday is a day of rest so climb up in The Father's lap and rest in His unfailing Love.

Your tongue is a powerful tool. You can either build up others or tear them down.

Hello My Name IS.........Child of the One True God
Robert Lyons
Finally found a place in the kitchen I can stand and not be in my wife's way. In front of the stove.
Jimmy Malone
Be careful not to trust your high-dollar education over years of experience actually doing the job.
Knowledge puffs up, but love edifies. (I Corinthians 8:1 NKJV)
Felicia Katrice Manning
Jesus Loves You. We have to repent and forgive each other and ask God to increase in our lives and submit to Him. We can't wait. Today is the day. Now is the time.
Bobbie McClellan
The elevator to success is out of order. You'll have to use the stairs. ... One step at a time. - - Unknown.
Dustin McClellan
Had a great 5 days on a mission trip to Oklahoma. It was my first and won’t be my last.
Gavin Morgan
My biggest fear is MJ selling my guns after my death ... for what I told her they cost.
Norma Kay Rowe
Just read this on a church sign in Bloomburg Tx: Confess your own sins, not your neighbors!!!!!!
Dalicia Torrence

•Why Not give everything to God and trust in Him?
•Why Not go tell someone about Gods love? The love that he's unconditionally given to his Kids.
•Why Not choose to lay down your pride and allow God to love through you?

It's not about perfection. It's about Obedience! :D

Jesus has fallen in Love with You!! Allow love to flow and start a Holy Ghost ROIT!!!
Participants urged to sign up for diabetes workshop

The Area Agency on Aging will host a diabetes self-management workshop this fall, and participants are encouraged to sign up.

Living with diabetes can be challenging. Constantly checking blood sugar levels, eating the right foods, exercising, taking medication, and visiting a health care provider regularly can feel overwhelming. However, there are other ways to stay healthy.

Stanford University trained facilitators will lead a two-hour workshop that meets once a week for six weeks. They will offer tips and tools to help a person with monitoring blood sugar levels, food, medication and exercise, and even plan a weekly menu. Participants will be able to discuss problems they are facing with other participants, and find solutions together.

The workshop is designed for people with Type 2 diabetes, but people with Type 1 may also find it helpful. All of the information provided meets the American Diabetes Association and the American Association of Diabetes Educators guidelines for diabetes self-management education.

For more information about the workshop or to sign up, call the Area Agency on Aging at (870) 234-7410 or toll-free, 800-272-2127, and enter Extension 105 for Nancy Bailey, or Extension 116 for Deloris Biddle.
AskBob - - Bob Rankin - - Time to Replace Your Power Supply?

A reader says: 'The fan inside my computer's power supply has started making an awful noise, and I'm afraid it's ready to bite the dust. Is it difficult to replace a power supply?' The good news is NO! Read on to find out if your power supply should be replaced...
Terry’s Computer Tips Newsletter - July 28, 2013

New Study on Lithium Battery Dangers, Firefox as an Alternative to Adobe Reader
See these articles (as well as many other timely quality stories) at

Not a TCT subscriber? Sign up to get future issues delivered straight to you:
ACC SmartBrief - - Dow executive: West, Texas, fertilizer plant an "outlier site"

The West, Texas, chemical facility involved in an accident earlier this year was an "outlier site," said Timothy Scott, chief security officer at Dow Chemical. The facility wasn't active in an industry group, nor did it join contingency-planning activities, Scott said. "There are regulations in place at both the state and federal levels that require the submission of data relative to chemicals of interest and quantities on site that would have identified this facility as a potentially high-risk site. Compliance and enforcement of these existing regulations is needed," Scott said, adding that Dow and the American Chemistry Council have already called for compliance measures to address shortcomings. Oil & Gas Journal [] (8/2), The Dallas Morning News ( (8/4)
dLife Foodstuff - - Prep for Natural Disasters
In the event of any emergency, do you know what to do? As in the case of any unexpected event, good preparation is half the battle. For people with diabetes, this means not only protecting your home in the event of disaster, but also protecting your health.
~~~~~ - - Burglars Return Stolen Computers To Charity - Even included handwritten apology note!

I have for you today burglars with a conscience, a 300 lb. baby, and happy brothers and sisters.


Burglars Return Stolen Computers To Charity #With Apology!

Baby Elephant Delights In Kiddie Pool #Adorable!

Siblings Reunite At Wonderful Camp

Know anyone who would love to get this newsletter and brighten their day? Sign them up here.

Copyright © *|2013* *|Journeyist, Inc.|*, All rights reserved.
Daryn's Upbeat Stories!

For the latest issue of "Da Bleat.", go to
Our photos are posted at
Photos on the front of this week’s “Bleat” include - - Janna, Annette, Shirley and Mechelle, our Missouri Folks sing at the Mission Church, The Incredibly Gifted Wife of My Youth and Bug, Dustin, Annette Studying, and worshiping, the Mission Church sign, Pastor Jimmy prepares to baptize "Da Boys" and several other baby Christians.
Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
Break Point - - Supersized Weddings
Here Comes the Bride (Bill)
By: Eric Metaxas|Published: August 9, 2013

If you’re engaged -- or one of your kids is -- you know how expensive weddings are. What’s going on?

Two years ago, England's Prince William and Kate Middleton—who just became parents, in case you hadn't heard--were wed in a ceremony that cost around thirty million dollars. That might sound like a lot, but when you consider the cost per person attending—including some two billion anglophiles who watched on TV—it comes to less than a penny per person.

Which would make the royal nuptials--yep--a “budget” wedding.

If only American brides and grooms could be so frugal. I just read an article on National Review Online titled “The Blight of Blinged-Out Weddings.” The author, Jillian Kay Melchior, writes that she tried to plan a simple ceremony in which to plight her troth, but found this practically impossible—unless she eloped or “really [bucked] all traditions.”

Sadly, she's correct. One moment of weakness, and you'll find yourself sucked into the spinning, satin-lined vortex of the wedding industrial complex. It's not as bad as sharks falling from the sky, but it sure comes close.

Unfortunately, “Recklessly extravagant weddings have become a cultural expectation,” Melchior adds, and “brides who succumb to the intense pressure to Go Bigger can easily find themselves focused more on planning a wedding than preparing for a marriage.”

How much bigger? Melchior quotes a study done by, which found that the average bride spends more than $28,000 on her wedding, not including the honeymoon!

Why do so many couples spend a third of their joint annual pre-tax income on a one-day ceremony? It's “because [brides] know they're being watched” Melchior says, and believe the “average guest comes to rate the spectacle as much as to celebrate the sacrament.”

How sad is that? And as for those hundreds of hours brides spend planning the wedding of the century—those hours could be better spent cementing the couple's relationship.

There may be a deeper reason so many brides and grooms choose the style of a wedding over the substance of solid marriage preparation—why they put themselves into debt for the food, the flowers, the bridesmaids and the bling—all topped off by a Vera Wang dress.

My old friend Chuck Colson put it this way in a BreakPoint commentary a few years ago. “Scripture,” he said, “tells us that God designed marriage as a physical, emotional, and spiritual union of one man and one woman—a union marked by fidelity and permanence. It's a definition of marriage the secular world has spent the better part of forty years trying to deconstruct.

“But when secular couples plan their weddings,” Chuck said, “they sense that something is missing. So they grasp at some sort of meaning—ironically, using the very symbols and rituals”—the white dress, the father giving away the bride—“whose meanings they have rejected.”

The lack of deeper meaning may be why so many weddings have a slightly hollow ring to them—even if your name isn't Kardashian.

Chuck quoted social critic Caitlin Flanagan, who suggests that a bride's “white gown andNewsletter_Gen_180x180_B her flock of flower-bearing attendants” may be little more than a “frantic and terribly expensive effort to infuse a wedding with some small measure of the meaning it once had.”

But folks, it doesn't have to be that way. If you or your loved ones are more interested in planning a sacred ceremony than a bling-fest, contact Marriage Savers. We have their info at They’ll help you fend off the wedding industry sharks, and organize the most important part of your nuptials: planning for a lasting and happy marriage.

Your church can help engaged couples prepare for a healthy, holy, happy marriage. Please check out Marriage Savers. - -
Further Reading and Information

Supersized Weddings: Here Comes the Bride Bill - Next Steps

While witnessing the redefinition of marriage into nothingness, Americans are spending ever-increasing amounts on the trappings of a bling-filled wedding day event.

Contrary to this secular trend, it is vital that couples understand what holy matrimony really means.

Along with other resources, we’ve listed a few organization websites, such as Marriage Savers, that are designed to help couples plan for what comes AFTER the wedding day—a marriage that lasts a lifetime.

The Ruth Institute

National Organization for Marriage

Marriage Savers

The Blight of Blinged-out Weddings
Jillian Kay Melchior | National Review | July 6, 2013

Plighting Their Troth? Or Whatever
Chuck Colson | | September 21, 2006

The Trouble with Weddings
Roberto Rivera | Touchstone | May 2003
Copyright © 2013 Colson Center. All Rights Reserved
Residents of Columbia County, Arkansas are represented in Congress by:
Senator John Boozman (R_ AR)
1 Russell Courtyard
Washington DC, 20510
Phone: 202-224-4843
Senator Mark Pryor (D_ AR)
Phone 202_224_2353
FAX 202_228_0908
Representative Tom Cotton (R )
Phone 202_225_3772
FAX 202_225_1314

Other states congresspersons can be found at: []

"There are two kinds of light -- the glow that illuminates, and the glare that obscures." - James Thurber

"You will do foolish things, but do them with enthusiasm." - Sidonie-Gabrielle Colette

"There may be times when we are powerless to prevent injustice, but there must never be a time when we fail to protest." - Elie Wiesel

"All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another." - Anatole France

"A chief is a man who assumes responsibility. He says 'I was beaten,' he does not say 'My men were beaten'. " - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

"What is the meaning of life? To be happy and useful." - Tenzin Gyatso

"You don't lead by pointing and telling people some place to go. You lead by going to that place and making a case." - Ken Kesey

"We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done." - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

"Always dream and shoot higher than you know you can do. Do not bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself." - William Faulkner

"It is as impossible to withhold education from the receptive mind, as it is impossible to force it upon the unreasoning." - Agnes Repplier

"Dreams pass into the reality of action. From the action stems the dream again; and this interdependence produces the highest form of living." - Anais Nin

"Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change." - Stephen Hawking

"A smiling face is half the meal." - Latvian proverb

"The man who can speak acceptably is usually given credit for an ability out of all proportion to what he really possesses." - Lowell Thomas

"Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable." - L. Frank Baum

"There's no way to rule innocent men. The only power any government has is the power to crack down on criminals. Well, when there aren't enough criminals, one makes them. One declares so many things to be a crime that it becomes impossible for men to live without breaking laws." - Ayn Rand

"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away." - Phillip K. Dick

"If you can't write your idea on the back of my calling card, you don't have a clear idea." - David Belasco

"Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe." - Abraham Lincoln

"Not in the clamor of the crowded street, not in the shouts and plaudits of the throng, but in ourselves, are triumph and defeat." - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Admiration is a very short-lived passion that immediately decays upon growing familiar with its object; unless it be still fed with fresh discoveries, and kept alive by a perpetual succession of miracles rising into view." - Joseph Addison
Breaking Christian News

Surprise: White House Backs Prayer at Local Government Meetings
Teresa Neumann (Aug 9, 2013)

The Supreme Court case filing by the White House was a "surprisingly conservative brief and it came as a pleasant surprise. It's gratifying that even the Obama administration recognizes that the courts are not qualified to censor prayers." -Ken Klukowski, Family Research Council
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GCF: House Cleaning

If this was forwarded to you, please consider your own subscription to Good Clean Fun. It's free! Just send an email to:
_ _______________________________ _

I recently ran into the woman who used to clean our house, and was surprised to hear that she was still at it, despite her advanced age.

"How do you manage it?" I asked.

She explained her secret: "I only have clients who can't see the dirt any better than I can."
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Prescription Bottle

A pharmacist is going over the directions on a prescription bottle with an elderly patient.

"Be sure not to take this more often than every 4 hours," warned the pharmacist.

"Don't worry," replied the patient. "It takes me 4 hours to get the lid off!"
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Barber Shop

The balding middle-aged man asked his barber, "Why do I have to pay full price for a haircut -- there's so little of it."

"Well," said the barber, "actually I only charge a little for cutting it. What you're paying for mostly is my time searching for it."
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Wedding Ring

After many years, her original wedding ring had become worn and thin, so she asked her husband to buy her a new ring as her anniversary present. But this time she asked him to buy her one with diamonds.

They went down to the jewelry store to pick one out. As they waited for the clerk, she said to her husband, "My eyes aren't as good as they used to be, so I'd really like diamonds I can see."

Having overheard their conversation, a customer standing nearby remarked, "Sir, it would be cheaper if you bought her glasses."
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: University DJ

Sam was a student DJ at the local university radio station. During one shift, he ran through his material faster than expected. He asked listeners for requests, but no one phoned.

So Sam played a few more wild hard-rock numbers and asked for calls after each one, but still no response.

Finally he got serious with his audience. "Okay," he said, "if I don't get any requests, I'll play something my parents would like."

The phone rang immediately.
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Last Name

Sczyelski, my last name, is a mouthful, so I was thrilled when my three-year-old niece learned to spell it.

That is until my cousin said, "You can spell it any way you like; who'll know if it's wrong?"
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Taking You Out

My friend's wife returned from a tour of duty in the Middle East. To celebrate, he decided to take her out for a night on the town. Proud of her service record, he suggested she wear her uniform.

Not only did a patriotic taxi driver refuse to accept money from them, but an appreciative citizen paid for her meal at the restaurant, and the theater manager upgraded their balcony seats to the orchestra.

At the end of the evening, my friend turned to his wife. "I still get credit for taking you out, right?"
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Just Like Mommy

A two and a half year old walked into the bathroom while her mother was putting on make-up. "I'm going to look just like you mommy!" she announced.

"Maybe, when you grow up," her mother told her.

"No mommy, tomorrow. I just put on that 'Oil of Old Lady' you always use."
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Mother's Day Gift

The young mother loved the picture frame her five-year-old son bought her for Mother's Day.

She found a photograph of him and replaced the cat photo that came with the frame.

He became upset: "Why are you putting a picture of me in there when I bought you a picture of a cat?"
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Hearing Aids

During a medical assessment before moving into a retirement home, a nurse asked my grandparents, "Do you need hearing aids?"

"Yes," my grandmother answered. "But he doesn't like his, never wears it and leaves it at home."

Then she added, "I always carry mine in my purse."
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Big Birthday

My mother-in-law asked her granddaughter if she was excited about her upcoming birthday.

"Yes," the granddaughter gravely replied, "it's a big birthday. I've waited my whole life to be five."
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: New Trend

There is a strange new trend in our office ... putting names on the food in the company refrigerator.

Today I had a tuna sandwich named Kevin.
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: How Long Have You Been Married?

When a woman on the staff of the school where I worked became engaged, a friend and colleague offered her some advice.

"The first ten years are the hardest."

"How long have you been married?" she asked.

"Ten years", he replied.
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Traffic Stop

Returning home from a restaurant, two friends and I were stopped by a police officer. As the driver handed his license and registration over, he asked the officer if he had been speeding.

"You were doing just under 60 in a 50 zone, but I'm not going to give you a ticket," the officer said.

We were puzzled when he asked my friend to open the trunk, and more puzzled when he asked him to go around to the back of the car with him.

"I've got a burnt out taillight," the officer stated.

"Oh, no! Not again!" he exclaimed. "I just replaced one a few weeks ago."

"No, no," the officer corrected. "I've got a burnt out taillight on a car exactly the same as this, and I was wondering if you'd show me how to change it."
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Mass Hysteria

A professor of clinical psychology at Victoria University in Wellington, New Zealand, included a lecture on crowd psychology in his annual course. To illustrate mass hysteria, he regularly showed TV news footage of teenage crowds greeting the Beatles at the local airport in the 1960's.

One year, when he ran the footage, he heard squeals and bursts of laughter from his students. When the film ended he asked what had caused the hilarity.

Replied one student, "We recognized some of our mothers!"

Imagine if birds were
tickled by feathers...
Everywhere is within walking
distance if you have the time.
It's bad luck
to be superstitious.
What is a "free" gift?
Aren't all gifts free?
Knocked; you weren't in.
-- Opportunity
One must wait until evening
to see how splendid
the day has been.
I went to a general store
but they wouldn't let me
buy anything specific.
--Steven Wright
Conscience is what hurts
when everything else feels good.
Summer is the time when
it is too hot to do
the jobs it was too cold
to do in winter.
For every action
there is an equal
and opposite criticism.
Which came first --
the chicken, or the various
things that taste like chicken?
If a cow laughed,
would milk come out her nose?
Light travels faster than sound.
This is why some people appear
bright until you hear them speak.
If the shoe fits,
buy another one just like it.
A synonym is a word you use
in place of one you can't spell.
_ _______________________________ _
Thomas S. Ellsworth

If this was forwarded to you, please consider your own subscription to Good Clean Fun. It's free! Just send an email to:
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Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cellular phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello"

WOMAN: "Hi Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"

MAN: "Yes."

WOMAN: "I'm at the shops now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $2,000; is it OK if I buy it?"

MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."

WOMAN:"I also stopped by the Lexus dealership and saw the new models. I saw one I really liked."

MAN: "How much?"

WOMAN: "$90,000." ;

MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."

WOMAN:"Great! Oh, and one more thing... I was just talking to Janie and found out that the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $980,000 for it."

MAN: "Well, then go ahead and make an offer of $900,000. They'll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra eighty-thousand if it's what you really want."

WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!"

MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open.

He turns and asks, "Anyone know whose phone this is?"
Thanks to Joe
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Love is grand!

Divorce is a hundred grand.
I am in shape.

Round is a shape.
Time may be a great healer,

But it's a lousy beautician.
Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
Even if you are on the right track,

You'll get run over if you just sit there.
An optimist thinks this is the best possible world.

A pessimist fears this is true.
There will always be death and taxes;

However, death doesn't get worse every year.
In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.
I am NOT over weight

I am a nutritional overachiever.
A day without sunshine is like night.
It's frustrating when you know all the answers,

But nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time,

but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
Brain cells come and brain cells go,

But fat cells live forever.
Age doesn't always bring wisdom.

Sometimes it comes alone.
Life not only begins at forty,

It also begins to show.
I smile because I am your friend!

I laugh because there is nothing you can do about it.
C'ya Later, Waneta
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How to Write Good

The first set of rules was written by Frank L. Visco and published in the June 1986 issue of Writers' digest.

My several years in the word game have learnt me several rules:

Avoid Alliteration. Always.
Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
Avoid cliches like the plague. (They’re old hat.)
Employ the vernacular.
Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
Contractions aren’t necessary.
Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
One should never generalize.
Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."

Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
Don’t be redundant; don’t use more words than necessary; its highly superfluous.
Profanity sucks.
Be more or less specific.
Understatement is always best.
Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
One word sentences? Eliminate.
Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
The passive voice is to be avoided.
Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
Who needs rhetorical questions?

The second set of rules is derived from William Safire's Rules for Writers.

Parenthetical words however must be enclosed in commas.
It behooves you to avoid archaic expressions.
Avoid archaeic spellings too.
Don't repeat yourself, or say again what you have said before.
Don't use commas, that, are not, necessary.
Do not use hyperbole; not one in a million can do it effectively.
Never use a big word when a diminutive alternative would suffice.
Subject and verb always has to agree.
Placing a comma between subject and predicate, is not correct.
Use youre spell chekker to avoid mispeling and to catch typograhpical errers.
Don't repeat yourself, or say again what you have said before.
Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.
Don't never use no double negatives.
Poofread carefully to see if you any words out.
Hopefully, you will use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.

Eschew obfuscation.
No sentence fragments.
Don't indulge in sesquipedalian lexicological constructions.
A writer must not shift your point of view.
Don't overuse exclamation marks!!
Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more words, to their antecedents.
Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.
If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.
Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing.
Always pick on the correct idiom.
The adverb always follows the verb.
Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.
If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal of repetition can be by rereading and editing.
And always be sure to finish what

Thanks to Waneta
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Preacher's Son

An old country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting high time the boy gave some thought to choosing a profession. Like many young men his age, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do, and he didn't seem too concerned about it.

One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment. He went into the boy's room and placed on his study table four objects:

1. A Bible,

2. A silver dollar,

3. A bottle of whiskey,

4. And a Playboy magazine.

"I'll just hide behind the door," the old preacher said to himself, "and when he comes home from school, I'll see which object he picks up. If it's the Bible, he's going to be a preacher like me, and what a blessing that would be! If he picks up the dollar, he's going to be a business man, and that would be okay, too. But if he picks up the bottle, he's going to be a no-good drunken bum, and Lord, what a shame that would be. And worst of all, if he picks up that magazine, he's going to be a skirt-chasing womanizer."

The old man waited anxiously and soon heard his son's footsteps as he entered the house whistling and headed for his room. The boy tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave the room, he spotted the objects on the table. He walked over to inspect them, looking at each for several minutes. Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm. He picked up the silver dollar and dropped into his pocket. He uncorked the bottle and took a big drink, while he admired this month's centerfold.

"Lord have mercy!" the old preacher prayed. "He's going into politics!!"

Received from Sanderson, Steven C.


Why Do I Like Retirement?

How many days in a week?
6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday.

When is a retiree's bedtime?
3 hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

Why don't retirees mind being called seniors?
It comes with a 10% discount!

Among retirees, what is considered formal attire?
Tied shoes.

How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Only one, bit it may take all day.

What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?

What do retirees call a long lunch?

What is the best way to describe retirement?
The never-ending coffee break.

Who do retirees count pennies?
They're the only ones who have the time!

Received from John Price.


Knight Riddle

Q: What do you call a knight who is afraid to fight?

A: Sir Render.

Received from Becky Day.



My mother was holding on to a pole while riding a bus.
She noticed that a young man, who was holding on to the same pole, was staring at her. Eventually he said, "Excuse me. This is my stop."

Since she wasn't blocking his way, she was confused. "Well," she said, "go ahead."

"And this is my pole," he said.

My mother was completely perplexed until the young man added, "I just bought it at the hardware store to hold up my shower curtain."

And with that, he picked up his pole and carried it off the bus.

Received from Doc's Daily Chuckle.


Peach Brandy

A Baptist preacher went to visit a member of the community and invited him to come to church Sunday morning.

It seems that this man was a producer of fine peach brandy. He told the preacher that he would attend his church IF the pastor would drink some of his brandy and admit doing so in front of his congregation. The preacher agreed and drank up.

Sunday morning, the man visited the church. The preacher recognized the man from the pulpit and said, "I see Mr. Johnson is here with us this morning. I want to thank him publicly for his hospitality this week and especially for the peaches he gave me and the spirit in which they were given."

Received from ArcaMax Jokes.



When a waitress in a New York City restaurant brought an Englishman the soup of the day, he was a bit dismayed.

"Good heavens," he said, "what is this?"

"It's bean soup," she replied.

"I don't care what it's been," he replied. "What is it now?"

Received from Steve Sanderson.


Murphy's Laws of Law Enforcement

New uniforms and ties attract catsup and gravy.

You will never get the urge to use the bathroom until you have left the station.

Surprise inspections will only occur after you have been in a foot pursuit through mud.

The mayor will get a traffic ticket the day before your department negotiates for a salary increase.

The bigger they are, the harder they fall. Also the harder they punch, kick, and choke.

Never search a dark warehouse with a cop whose nickname is "Boom-Boom."

Pens never leak onto old uniform shirts.

To err is human, to forgive is against department policy.

Shatterproof flashlights seldom are.

If you park your patrol car in the exact center of the Gobi
desert, within 5 minutes someone will pull up and ask for directions.

Glow in the dark sights are just as visible to you as they are to the crook hiding behind you.

Wearing white socks makes boot zippers break.

Coffee jitters will never bother you until firearm qualification day.

Flashlight batteries never die in the daylight hours.

Your mouthiest traffic violator will be related to the sheriff.

If the crooks are within pistol range, so are you.

The speed with which you respond to a fight in progress is inversely proportional to how long you have been an officer.

Perfect 10's only show up to talk when you are busy.

Bullet proof vests might be.

Old squad cars never die -- they just smell that way.

Received from You Make Me Laugh.



The Yoko club?
Oh no.

The German philosophy club?
I. Kant.

The Ford-Nixon club?
Pardon me?

The Arafat club?

The Ebert movie club?

The Groucho Marx club?
You bet your life.

The Peter Pan club?
Never. Never.

The Japanese theater club?

The quarterback club?
I'll pass.

The compulsive rhymers club?

The Spanish optometrists club?

The anti-perspirant club?

The procrastinators club?
Maybe next week.

The Self-Esteem Builders?
No - they probably would not accept me anyway.

The Agoraphobics Society?
Only if they meet at my house.

The Co-Dependence Club?
Can I bring a friend?

The Prayer Group?
God willing!

Received from Stan Kegel.


Wake Up!

The teacher is droning away in the classroom when he notices a student sleeping way up in the back row. The teacher shouts to the sleeping student's neighbor, "Hey, wake that student up!"

The neighbor yells back, "You put him to sleep -- you wake him up!"

Received from ArcaMax Jokes.


Fall Out!

As we stood in formation at the Pensacola Naval Air Station, our Flight Instructor said, "All right! All you dummies fall out."

As the rest of the squad wandered away, I remained at attention.

The instructor walked over until he was eye-to-eye with me, and then just raised a single eyebrow. I smiled and said, "Sure was a lot of 'em, huh sir?"

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.



On his first visit to the zoo, a little boy stared at the
caged stork for a long time. He waved, jumped up and down, and stared at the stork a while longer.

Finally, turning to his father, he exclaimed, "Gee, Dad, he doesn't recognize me!"

Received from Thorn Shunt.


Doctor's Order

Doctor: "I see you're over a month late for your
appointment. Don't you know that nervous disorders require prompt and regular attention? What's your excuse?"

Patient: "I was just following your orders, Doc."

Doctor: "Following my orders? What are you talking about? I gave you no such order."

Patient: "You told me to avoid people who irritate me."

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.


The Execution

Three men went to Mexico together on a vacation. They had known each other in high school, and they were eager to get to know each other again.

One night, they went out on the town and got completely drunk. When they woke up the next morning, they were in a jail cell. They asked the guard why they were there. He replied, "Last night the three of you killed an old man. You will be executed at noon."

Of course, none of them believed this. They begged and pleaded with their jailer, and even offered him substantial bribes if he would just let them go. But, he stood firm, and the jail door stayed shut.

The hour came. They all ate their last meal and were herded into the room where the electric chair sat. The first man was strapped into the chair and was asked for his last words.

He said, "Well, I'm a theologian from Harvard Divinity School, and I believe in the power of God to intervene on behalf of the innocent."

The executioner threw the switch, but nothing happened. He immediately thought, "God must be on this man's side." So he let him go.

The second man was strapped in, and he was asked for his last words. He responded, "I'm a lawyer from Yale Law School, and I believe in the power of justice to intervene on behalf of the innocent."

The switch was thrown, but again, nothing happened. The executioner figured that justice must be on this man's side, and he let him go.

Finally, the third man was strapped into the chair and was asked for his last words.

"Well, I'm an electrical engineer from MIT, and nothing's going to happen if you don't connect those two wires right there..."

Received from Gordon Freeman.



Late one night a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into a path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs. "Give me your money," he demanded.

Indignant, the affluent man replied, "You can't do this! I am a United States congressman!"

"In that case," replied the mugger, "give me MY money."

Received from John Turner.


Tell Me

A businessman had a tiring day on the road. He checked into the local hotel and, because he was concerned the dining room might close soon, left his luggage at the front desk while he went immediately to eat.

After a leisurely dinner, he returned to the desk to retrieve his luggage and realized he had forgotten to pick up his key. He also had forgotten his room number.

So he said to the clerk on duty, "Hello, I'm Henry Davis. Can you tell me what room I'm in?"

"Certainly, sir," replied the clerk. "You're in the lobby."

Received from Docs Daily Chuckle.


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Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Column - -

Those Smashing French Language Police (Limerick)
August 6th, 2013

The French are at it again:

Those Smashing French Language Police (2-Verse Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“Le Binge Drinking’s” been outlawed in France.
They’re maintaining a very strict stance–
Not against all that drinking.
No! What were you thinking?
It’s their “dump English verbiage” dance.

A new phrase that has Frenchified grace
Must henceforth be used to replace
Such Anglicized words,
Discarded like turds:
“Beuverie express” — drink at fast pace.

© Madeleine Begun Kane. All Rights Reserved.
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"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." __ Franklin D. Roosevelt
"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. _ _ George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" _ _ Queen E. Watson
“A political class of Republicans and Democrats that look after themselves, not the Nation. A media hostile to the very precepts of this nation. A generation of Americans who see morals as vices, and are ignorant of America's Actual History.”
"The things that will destroy America are prosperity-at-any-price, peace-at-any-price, safety-first instead of duty-first, the love of soft living, and the get-rich-quick theory of life." - - Theodore Roosevelt
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"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." _ _ "Bug"
"It's no big deal doing what God tells you to do. A big deal would be NOT doing what God tells you to do. Just ask Jonah." _ _ Paul Troquille
“Nam et ipsa scientia potestas est.” Knowledge is power. _ Francis Bacon
"The problem is here and now. The time for talk is past. The time for action is now."
Comments on the first Earth Day _ James F. McClellan via John "Fuzzy" Thurman
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Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" __"Bug"
God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
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