Sunday, August 25, 2013

Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Exercise Bike


Annette's new "Posey"



A steaming bowl of Annette's Homemade Soup



Josiah in his new Boy's and Girl's Club Football Equipment



Annette claims I shouldn’t wash my dress pants with the towels. At least that’s her excuse for “shaving” my pants this week. :0)



The Magnolia Christian Center Men Had a GREAT Bible Study Breakfast this month. We meet at 5:30 am on every third Thursday morning.




Annette enjoys The Magnolia Farmer’s Market and we both enjoy cooking the veggies she gets there. This week I roasted the new potatoes, squash and onions after marinating them in EVO and spices. Humm Humm Good.




Annette hasn’t been feeling too spiffy the last couple of weeks, but she’s still managed to get her plants “shining.”



Volume 15, Issue 33 Friday, August 23, 2013

Hello ALL,

The kids eating first or last “thing”.
...

When I was growing up in my grandmother's house; the main meal was Dinner (also known as lunch to non southerners.) At this meal, the adults were served first, then the kids. Just as they had done when my mother was young and probably as they had done for several generations. I never questioned the practice; it was just the way things were (probably because the adults had to get back to work.)

Annette's FANTASTIC "Pan Bread"


One of my mother's famous stories involved a group of visiting preachers coming to grandmothers for Dinner after church. All the adults were seated at the dining table eating and the kids were in the kitchen, waiting their turn. My uncle Fort (who was 10 or 12 at the time) commented; "I'll bet the D__n Preachers eat all the D__n chicken!" Four year old Bob heard this and walked into the dining room and around the table. No adults paid him any attention until he loudly announced; "Yep! The D__n Preachers are eating all the D__n Chicken!"
...
Of course, this arrangement reversed about the time I got to be old enough to go to the first seating. At that point, they started serving the kids first. And that's what happened today when Annette fixed corn bread, butter-beans, rice, gravy, squash and pork chops for "Dinner."

Da Boys (also referred to by me as the "Locusts") were served before the two workers even made it to the house for their "lunch" break. This was done because both boys exclaimed that they couldn't survive until their parents got there (in spite of the fact that they had been chowing down on any food not bolted to the floor all morning). So the boys started eating while Annette and I waited to eat with our grown guests.

When Jimmy and Vanessa arrived, the boys had already inhaled their very generous portions and jumped in line for more. I exclaimed; "Hey, wait till your parents get something to eat." To which Annette replied; "Why would you selfishly want to eat before the children were served?" And she refilled both their plates.

It was at this point, while we cut the remaining two pork chops up to serve four adults that I realized why the old system was probably instituted. If they'd let the kids eat first, the workers would have probably never had anything but scraps to eat.

:0)
~~~~~
Speaking of food and grandkids, our youngest grandson, Ethan, was not happy with his parents choice of restaurants for Sunday Dinner. In protest, he made the following comment on the decision to eat Mexican food: "By the time I grow up, I am going to look like a Mexican and have a sombrero.

But when I grow up, I am only gonna eat American food and throw away my sombrero.

Then I will look like George Washington."
~~~~~
I've been reading Philip Caputo's latest's book, "The Longest Road: Overland In Search of America from Key West to the Arctic Ocean" this week. Here are a few "favorite quotes" from the book that I want to share;

"The one sure sign that you've entered geezerdom isn't gray hair, wrinkles, wattles, or waning physical powers; it's the conviction that the younger generation is going to hell and taking everyone with it. I guess it's ever been so.
Geriatric Cro-Magnons, huddled in their drafty caves, probably moaned that the tribe was done for because their kids were too lazy or inept to kill mastodons."
...

"I've figured out by livin', and it took me years to learn this, that you can't control nobody in this world but you, and that's a full-time job. Because if you lose control and get mad and angry -- which I usta get bad mad -- you've lost control of the only thing in this world you can control. You can't control what people say to you or do to you or how they act toward you, but you can control how you take it. Like an old boy told me one day that I was ugly, and I said, 'Well, I didn't realize that but I'll work on it'."
...

"I think that whatever governors we used to have on what we say and how we behave are gone." John said, weighing in on the skeptical side 'of America's Future'. "What's happened to our manners? To our civility? Maybe it's because of the anonymity of the Internet. It lets people feel free to say whatever they want, and it becomes legitimized because it's on the internet."

and ...

Commenting on the amount of misinformation folks spout; "The problem was way too much information. A twenty-first century American can access more of it in them minutes than an eighteenth-century American could in a year, yet the dominion of falsehood remains. It can be stated as a kind of mathematical principle: the degree of ignorance on any given subject is directly proportional to the amount of information available about it."
~
The first book of Mr. Caputo's that I read was his memoir "A Rumor of War" published in 1977. That book was a stunning look at the life of a marine Lieutenant in Vietnam. Rumor of War was jarring and disturbing, upsetting the apple cart of both Hawks and Doves.

A fairly prolific writer, Mr. Caputo has published the following books since A Rumor of War: Means of Escape (1991) Memoir, Equation for Evil (1996) Fiction, Exiles (1997) Fiction, The Voyage (1999) Fiction, Horn of Africa (1980) Fiction, Delcorso's Gallery (1983) Fiction, Indian Country (1987) Fiction, In the Shadows of the Morning (2002) General Nonfiction, Ghosts of Tsavo (2002) General Nonfiction, Ten Thousand Days of Thunder (2005) General Nonfiction, 13 Seconds: A Look Back At the Kent State Shootings (2005) General Nonfiction, Acts of Faith (2005) Fiction, Crossers (2009) Fiction, and The Longest Road (2013.)

"The Longest Road" is a far far cry from "A Rumor Of War" not that the quality is different, but where ROW was a disturbing look at an unpopular war, TLR is a satisfying, pleasurable look at our Nation today, be it ever so conflicted. The roots still run deep in the America of our forefathers.
~~~~~
My Stepfather, Tamey Duke, started selling hamburgers out of a shed on the back of a blacksmith shop just north of the Magnolia square when he was ten years old.
The Columbia County Courthouse.


In spite of working to support his parents and sisters, he managed to graduate from Magnolia A&M (now known as Southern Arkansas University), open several restaurants (including The Chatterbox) and serve as Mess Sergeant for the Officer’s Mess in Patton’s Army in North Africa, Sicily and Italy during World War II.

The "Brown Duke" circa 1960, When The Chatterbox was destroyed in an explosion the day after Christmas in 1951, he hardly missed a beat. He bought a prefab diner from Valentine manufacturing in Wichita, Kansas, placing it on a vacant lot almost in the same location he’d started out selling burgers from when he was ten years old.

Valentines were small eight- to 12-seat diners with a limited menu, making them ideal for a one person operation. They made it possible to operate a business with very little capital. These diners were manufactured in Wichita from the late 1930s into the mid-1970s. Sales of the buildings expanded nationwide, and soon Valentines were all over the United States. Many are still in use today.
http://www.kshs.org/p/valentine-business-chronology/10393

He served his customers out of the Brown Duke until the Chatterbox was rebuilt and then he leased it out.

The Brown Duke was a great place to get breakfast and had a large lunch crowd from the downtown area. When I was young, there was a canvas roofed structure out back with tables to expand the serving area.

When Tamey sold the Chatterbox and "retired" he moved the Brown Duke to his lot on Pine Street (where CCAS is now) and reopened it as Tamey's. Paul Bismarck owns it now and Staci Risher is considering buying it, restoring it and reopening it.

Staci has done quite a bit of research on the dinner and its history. Even the safe located on the back wall has a story: according to her research, these wall safes were used to make payment for the diner itself. A Valentine Rep would go around picking up payments each month until the diner was paid off.
~~~~~
Free At Last

Fifty Years later, we're closer than you think to realizing Martin Luther King Jr.'s dream. By Joshua DuBois

"Instead of being in a state of perpetual struggle, an endless existential march, I believe there is far more evidence to support the idea that we are right on the verge of Zion. And the only thing that will stop us from getting there is the hopeless belief that we can’t."

http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/2013/08/23/free-at-last-joshua-dubois-on-martin-luther-king-jr-s-dream-50-years-later.html?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter&utm_campaign=cheatsheet_morning&cid=newsletter%3Bemail%3Bcheatsheet_morning&utm_term=Cheat%20Sheet
~~~~~
While our leaders are consumed with having all students pass identical standardized tests, the education those tests seek to confirm is bereft of many basic building blocks required for success in our world.

"Without awareness of natural and human geography, we are reduced to a sort of self-contained void without accurate awareness of the space around us. An ignorance of history also creates the same sort of self-imposed exile, leaving us ignorant of both what came before us and what is likely to follow."

Read more: http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2013/aug/16/hanson-why-the-president-doesnt-know-where-he-is/#ixzz2cMCaSZcU

Follow us: @washtimes on Twitter

HANSON: Why the president doesn’t know where he is http://www.washingtontimes.com/n...
~
In Sam Cooke’s classic 1959 hit song “Wonderful World,” the lyrics downplayed formal learning with lines such as “Don’t know much about history … . Don’t know much about geography.”
~
I can only assume that these parents don't have the time or the ability to judge how their kids are doing in school nor how the school is doing teaching their kids.

Our grandsons have been in several different schools over the years and we've had absolutely no problem knowing when the boys were doing well (or not) nor when the school was doing a good (or bad) job.

We didn't need a "super" test to enlighten us. (Of course, it doesn’t hurt when they score in the top 1% on those standardized tests.)

But it seems that "yet again" we find ourselves in the minority as most folks would prefer that the state or federal school system tell them how their school / kid is doing.
~
Poll: Parents back high-stakes testing. Standardized tests have support among parents, who view them as a useful way to measure both students' and schools' performances

http://apnews.myway.com/article/20130817/DA87UPQG0.html
~~~~~
After the latest "Nixon Tapes" were released some are asking; Is Billy Graham an Anti-Semite? Graham should have known better, says his biographer, but he doesn't deserve our condemnation
http://www.beliefnet.com/Faiths/Christianity/2002/03/Is-Billy-Graham-An-Anti-Semite.aspx#
~
Dr. Graham is a man with human faults. He is a great example of why we needed Christ's sacrifice since we were (and are) unable to perfectly follow God's law.

Has he made mistakes? Definitely. Has he attempted to follow God and preach the Good News? In my opinion ... Definitely.

Novelist Patricia Cornwell could also give us a different view of the Grahams. I recommend Her biography of Ruth Graham, “A Time for Remembering” (later reissued as “Ruth: A Portrait”)

In the end, each one of us has to decide if Billy Graham enriched our lives or if he took from us. In my case, my life has been enriched by his.
~~~~~
As if we didn’t have enough to worry about … Some U.S. nuclear facilities are inadequately protected against theft of weapons-grade materials and sabotage by terrorists. Terrorist attacks on vulnerable nuclear facilities could trigger a meltdown or lead to a diversion of bomb-grade uranium. The danger is far from hypothetical since the 9/11 hijackers are known to have considered flying a passenger jet into a U.S. nuclear reactor before they settled on the World Trade Center as their main terror target.
http://www.homelandsecuritynewswire.com/dr20130814-u-s-nuclear-facilities-vulnerable-to-terrorist-attack-study
~~~~~
Digital era threatens tenuous future of drive-ins

LANCASTER, Ohio (AP) — Through 80 summers, drive-in theaters have managed to remain a part of the American fabric, surviving technological advances and changing tastes that put thousands out of business. Now the industry says a good chunk of the 350 or so left could be forced to turn out the lights because they can’t afford to adapt to the digital age.
Movie studios are phasing out 35 mm film prints, and the switch to an eventually all-digital distribution system is pushing the outdoor theaters to make the expensive change to digital projectors.
The $70,000-plus investment required per screen is significant, especially for what is in most places a summertime business kept alive by mom-and-pop operators. Paying for the switch would suck up most owners’ profits for years to come. The United Drive-In Theatre Owners Association figures 50 to 60 theaters have already convert ed. At least one operator decided to close instead of switch but it’s , not clear how many more might bite the dust.
"Everyone knows eventually that you’ll be digital or you’ll close your doors," says Walt Effinger, whose Skyvue Drive-In in the central Ohio town of Lancaster has been showing movies on an 80-foot screen since 1948. "Some will. If you’re not doing enough business to justify the expense, you’ re just going to have to close up."
Effinger worked at the Skyvue off and on for 30 years before he and his wife, Cathie, bought it two decades ago. They converted to digital last year, the first of the state’s 29 drive-ins to do so. Because the films now come on a device the size of a portable hard drive and are downloaded to his projector, it’s less hassle for him on movie nights and gives viewers a stunningly brighter, clearer image.
Think of the picture on a flat-screen digital TV, compared with the old tube set.
The digital transformation has been underway in the film industry for more than a decade because of the better picture and sound quality and the ease of delivery — no more huge reels of film. The time frame isn’t clear, but production companies are already phasing out traditional 35 mm film, and it’s expected to disappear completely over the next few years.
"We know fewer and fewer prints are being struck," says D. Edward Vogel, who runs the historic Bengies Drive-In in Baltimore and is spokesman for the United Drive-In Theatre Owners Association.
An industry incentive program will reimburse theater owners 80 percent of the cost of conversion over time, Vogel says, but because most drive-ins are small family-run businesses, it’s hard for many to find the money, period. And the reimbursement doesn’t cover the tens of thousands of dollars more that many will have to spend renovating projection rooms to create the climate-controlled conditions needed for the high-tech equipment.
It’s a dilemma also faced by the nation’s small independent theaters, many of them struggling to pay for conversion to digital years after corporate-owned multiplexes already did it.
Darcy and Bill Wimple, owners of two drive-ins in upstate New York, hope an online competition will help them with the $225,000 to $250,000 they figure it will cost to switch their three screens. The American Honda Motor Co. is compiling online votes for the nation’s favorite drive-ins and is going to pay the digital conversion costs for the top five vote-getters. The Wimples say that if they don’t get help, they’ll have to consider closing up.
"To make this kind of conversion with three screens is like trying to buy another drive-in all over again," says Darcy Wimple, whose El Rancho theater in Palatine Bridge is among dozens of drive-ins featured in the Honda ad promotion.
The number of drive-ins peaked at more than 4,000 in the late 1950s. Now there are 357.
Robyn Deal and Dave Foraker have been going to the Skyvue in Lancaster since they were both in school in the 1960s and early ‘70s. On a recent weekend night, they sat together in folding chairs outside their car, blankets on their laps and their 12-year-old dachshund, Wilson, getting lots of attention just before a double feature of "Turbo" and "The Wolverine."
"So much of our heritage is going away, and this is one of them," said the 60-yearold Foraker, who figures his first movie at the Skyvue was "Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?" around 1966.
"A lot of the things I did when I was kid are gone," he said. "I think they’re trying to keep what’s left."

Thanks to Joe Mullins
~~~~~
The Invisible Bicycle Helmet | Fredrik Gotten from Focus Forward Films

“If people say it’s impossible we have to prove them wrong.”
Design students Anna and Terse took on a giant challenge as an exam project. Something no one had done before. If they could swing it, it would for sure be revolutionary. The bicycle is a tool to change the world. If we use bikes AND travel safe: Life will be better for all.

http://vimeo.com/43038579?goback=.gde_2689291_member_266608227#!
~~~~~
From the Magnolia Reporter - - Consider the facts before consuming raw milk

Raw cow milk has been legal to sell in Arkansas since last Friday.

Before dairy farmers start selling raw milk or consumers start drinking raw milk, they may want to read a new fact sheet on the subject published by the University of Arkansas Division of Agriculture’s Public Policy Center.

http://www.magnoliareporter.com/living_and_learning/education/article_90c9fc74-0a18-11e3-98b3-0019bb2963f4.html

The Promise and Risk of Raw Milk in Arkansas – Analyzing Arkansas’ New Raw Milk Law

http://www.uaex.edu/Other_Areas/publications/PDF/FSPPC120.pdf
~~~~~
Polio Outbreaks in Africa and Pakistan

Parts of Africa and Pakistan are experiencing an outbreak of a disease that, elsewhere on the globe, has long been extinct. While there were only 223 cases of polio in the entire world last year, there are currently 121 in Somalia and the Horn of Africa, home to thousands of Somali refugees. Meanwhile, in North Waziristan, three children have contracted polio since local warlord Hafiz Gull Abrader banned vaccinations in the region 14 months ago in protest of American drone strikes. Though the severity of the Pakistani outbreak has not reached the level of Africa's, any manifestation of polio paralysis has the potential to spread. In anticipation of next month's hajj, Saudi Arabia is now requiring that all visitors be vaccinated both at home and on arrival at Mecca. The recent outbreaks may prove a setback to the World Health Organization's $5.5 billion plan to rid the world of polio completely by 2018.

Now tell me again why you’re not choosing to vaccinate your family?
~~~~~
At the Obama White House: Transparency Transhmarency by Lloyd Grove

Trying to force The Washington Post to change real quotes was just the latest White House obfuscation. Team Obama has been at it for years. Lloyd Grove reports.

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2013/08/23/at-the-obama-white-house-transparency-transhmarency.html?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter&utm_campaign=cheatsheet_morning&cid=newsletter%3Bemail%3Bcheatsheet_morning&utm_term=Cheat%20Sheet
~~~~~
As Gomer would say; "Surprise, Surprise, Surprise!"
U.S. nuclear facilities vulnerable to terrorist attack: study

Some U.S. nuclear facilities are inadequately protected against theft of weapons-grade materials and sabotage by terrorists. Terrorist attacks on vulnerable nuclear facilities could trigger a meltdown or lead to a diversion of bomb-grade uranium. The danger is far from hypothetical since the 9/11 hijackers are known to have considered flying a passenger jet into a U.S. nuclear reactor before they settled on the World Trade Center as their main terror target.
http://www.homelandsecuritynewswire.com/dr20130814-u-s-nuclear-facilities-vulnerable-to-terrorist-attack-study
~~~~~
Five foods you should never eat: Non Organic Strawberries, White Chocolate, Bean Sprouts, Canned (metal can) Tomatoes, Swordfish. Per CNN's Dr. Sanjay Gupta.
~~~~~
Truly beautiful. These photos are courtesy of Deborah Byrd's friends of the 2013 Perseid meteor shower
http://earthsky.org/space/photos-from-friends-2013-perseid-meteor-shower?utm_source=EarthSky+News&utm_campaign=c01e22fc0
~
Earth waves at Saturn

A collage of 1400+ images of people waving at the Cassini spacecraft on July 19.

http://earthsky.org/todays-image/earth-waves-at-saturn?utm_source=EarthSky+News&utm_campaign=7fdf7eb3e8-EarthSky_News&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_c643945d79-7fdf7eb3e8-393703501

On July 19, 2013, the Cassini spacecraft pointed its camera back at Earth to take our picture from the Saturn system. NASA encouraged everyone to smile, wave, and snap a photo of our own. From more than 40 countries and 30 U.S. states, people shared more than 1,400 images of themselves, via Twitter, Face book, Flickr, Instagram, Google+ and email. As a tribute to the people of Earth, NASA assembled this collage from the shared images, using an image of Earth as the base image.

(Deborah Byrd is Founder and President of EarthSky, which she created in 1991. EarthSky is a digital publisher that brings science and nature to millions of people around the world.) http://earthsky.org/
~~~~~
AskBob - - Bob Rankin - - Online College or Campus Learning?

These days, earning a college degree online is an option as readily available as traditional, on-campus living and learning. So what's the better choice? There are many pros and cons of online college. Here's a guide to deciding...
http://askbobrankin.com/online_college_or_campus_learning.html?awt_l=HZr.N&awt_m=Ijwim9Y3V8P6SL
~

Are Digital Cameras Obsolete?

What goes around comes around. Digital cameras killed the old-school film camera market long ago. Today, some are wondering if standalone digital cameras are in danger of extinction by cameras built into smartphones, tablets, and other mobile devices. Read on to see if they're right...
http://askbobrankin.com/are_digital_cameras_obsolete.html?awt_l=HZr.N&awt_m=JYArq_AEZ8P6SL
~

Geekly Update - 21 August 2013

Are helicopter drones getting out of control? Is Google secretly changing the definition of words in Webster's dictionary? And is your smartphone using more electricity the refrigerator? Get answers to these burning questions, and the scoop on the latest tech news, in this edition of the Geekly Update. It's guaranteed to make you 146% smarter. Read, think and comment!
http://askbobrankin.com/geekly_update_21_august_2013.html?awt_l=HZr.N&awt_m=J85OoQcKJ8P6SL
~~~~~
ACC SmartBrief - -

Politics threaten economic gains from shale gas

Vocal opponents and legislative obstacles to hydraulic fracturing in some areas are threatening the economic gains from shale gas, this article says. There is now a movement to block fracking in New Jersey, while New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo has promised a long-awaited decision on fracking in his state by the 2014 election. Meanwhile, the federal government may move to regulate fracking even though states appear to be better equipped for this task, Jon Entine writes. Forbes (8/22) http://www.forbes.com/sites/jonentine/2013/08/22/will-washington-politics-kill-the-us-energy-revival-and-shale-gas-revolution/
~
ACC, industrial groups express compliance concerns on rework of boiler MACT rule

The American Chemistry Council and other groups warn that the Environmental Protection Agency's rework of its final boiler maximum achievable control technology could make timely compliance a challenge. Facilities are expected to comply with new regulations by Jan. 31, 2016, but major sources "need a substantial period of time once regulatory requirements are final to come into compliance," the groups said in a filing with the U.S. Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia Circuit. They are urging the EPA to finalize the MACT rule by the end of this year. SNL Financial (free content) (8/19) http://www.snl.com/Interactivex/article.aspx?CdId=A-24565371-11314
~
Expert: Marcellus gas production surges, begins displacing Gulf of Mexico output

Natural gas production from the Marcellus Shale formation is growing faster than expected, and it is affecting U.S. energy trends, Bentek Energy analysts said. Pennsylvania's portion of the play alone produced about 1.5 trillion cubic feet of gas in the first half of the year, and the figure is expected to reach 3.2 trillion by year's end. Marcellus gas is "actually starting to displace" Gulf of Mexico production, said Bentek analyst Diana Oswald. The Courier-Journal (Louisville, Ky.) (tiered subscription model)/The Associated Press (8/15) http://www.courier-journal.com/viewart/20130815/BUSINESS/308150119/Marcellus-natural-gas-production-rises-fast
~~~~~
dLife Foodstuff - -

Seven Things You Need to Know about Arthritis and Diabetes
By Sandra Gordon

Over half of the nearly 24 million Americans with diabetes also have osteoarthritis. It' s the most common kind of arthritis, which occurs when the cartilage that provides a cushion between bones wears away, causing inflammation, stiffness, and pain in joints. One disease affects the other. "Controlling arthritis is critical to diabetes management and vice versa," says John H. Klippel, M.D., the president and CEO of the Arthritis Foundation in Atlanta. Staying active and at a healthy weight are key. Here are seven important facts that can help you manage both conditions to help you stay healthier.

Weight gain makes osteoarthritis worse.

Age increases risk.

Exercise reduces arthritis joint pain.

Too much exercise can worsen osteoarthritis symptoms.

Osteoarthritis drugs won't make your diabetes worse.

Taking glucosamine/chondroitin may help relieve arthritis pain.

Worn - out joints can be replaced, but you'll need to be fit for surgery.

http://www.dlife.com/diabetes/information/slide_show_pdf_files/new_pdfs/Arthritis_and_Diabetes.pdf
~~~~~
As featured on Food Network - - Almost-Famous Frozen Yogurt

A combination of whole-milk yogurt and reduced-fat Greek yogurt creates a light, airy and tangy homemade fro-yo. - - Makes: 1 quart


Ingredients

2 cups plain whole-milk yogurt
2 cups plain nonfat or reduced-fat Greek yogurt
1/2 cup superfine sugar
3 tablespoons light corn syrup
Fresh fruit or other toppings, for garnish

Directions

Whisk both yogurts, the sugar and corn syrup in a bowl until combined. Pour into an ice cream maker and freeze according to the manufacturer's instructions.

For a soft consistency, serve right out of the ice cream maker. For a firmer texture, transfer the frozen yogurt to a covered container and freeze for up to 2 hours. Serve with assorted toppings.

Read more at: http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes-and-cooking/healthy-dessert-recipes/pictures/page-43.html?nl=EATS_082113_P1-Headline&sni_mid=92272&sni_rid=92272.314.671921&c32={2C4766C1-E79F-4C8E-BBCE-D8B095BE4573}&oc=linkback
~~~~~
DarynKagan.com - - Kindness of strangers and luck make family's dream come true.

I have for you today a wonderful full circle story, a pitch you have to see to believe, & one of my fave country music singers.

Enjoy!

-Daryn.

POW's Ring Comes Home 7 Decades Later #KindnessOfStrangers! http://darynkagan.com/Heroes.html

Actress Throws Out Best First Pitch Ever! Throws Like A Girl? Oh Yeah! http://darynkagan.com/Sports.html

Trisha Yearwood Talks Weight, Singing, Cooking, & Garth http://darynkagan.com/Celebs___Artists.html

Know anyone who would love to get this newsletter and brighten their day? Sign them up here.

Daryn's Upbeat Stories! Daryn@darynkagan.com

Copyright © *|2013* *|Journeyist, Inc.|*, All rights reserved.
~~~~~
Rasmussen Reports - - Education - - Friday, August 23, 2013

Voters Favor Choices for Prayer, Uniforms, Calendar in Schools

Most voters continue to think parents should be able to choose between schools based on such things as uniforms, prayer and how long the school year lasts.

Seventy-seven percent (77%) of Likely Voters now believe a parent should have a choice between sending their children to a school that allows prayer and a school that does not, according to a new Rasmussen Reports telephone survey. http://www.rasmussenreports.com/public_content/lifestyle/education/education

68% Support Government-Recognized National Day of Prayer
49% Say Children’s Quality of Life is Worse Than a Generation Ago
34% Think More Spending Will Improve Education in America
25% Say High School Graduates Prepared For College
17% Say U.S. Public Schools Provide World-Class Education
~
On other issues …

82% Say U.S. Not Winning War on Drugs - - Americans continue to overwhelmingly believe the so-called war on drugs is failing.

59% Say Their Home is Worth More Now Than When They Bought It

56% Think Racism Not Chief Reason for Lack of Neighborhood Diversity Americans are closely divided on the importance of neighborhoods in this country being racially or ethnically diverse, but most believe racism is not the chief reason for a lack of diversity.

53% View Boehner Unfavorably Ohio Republican John Boehner draws his worst ratings since becoming speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives in early 2011.

52% Support Required Uniform Cameras For Police Officers A federal judge last week ruled that New York City Police Department's stop-and-frisk policy violates the rights of minorities and suggested a trial program that would require on-duty police officers to wear uniform cameras, a practice already utilized in some areas of the country.

51% Believe Manning Should Have to Serve Entire Sentence Chelsea Manning, formerly known as Bradley, was sentenced to 35 years in prison for releasing classified government documents to the website WikiLeaks.
~
To find out more about Scott Rasmussen, and read features by other Creators writers and cartoonists, visit www.creators.com.
COPYRIGHT 2013 - - SCOTT RASMUSSEN - - DISTRIBUTED BY CREATORS.COM
See Other Political Commentaries. http://www.rasmussenreports.com/public_content/political_commentary
See Other Commentaries by Scott Rasmussen. http://www.rasmussenreports.com/public_content/political_commentary/commentary_by_scott_rasmussen
~~~~~
The latest from Michael Yon, the foremost “milnews” blogger on the web.
~
Greetings,

Syria: How did it get into this war?

A good refresher. Worth the time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TqtCOxeGAHE
~
Utah beauty queen accused of throwing bombs resigns title

Wed Aug 14, 2013 2:25am EDT

(Reuters) - A Utah beauty queen accused along with three friends of throwing homemade bombs in a Salt Lake City suburb resigned her Miss Riverton title...

...Miss Riverton Pageant that Kendra Gill, 18, had resigned her position effective that day.....Gill, crowned Miss Riverton in June, and three other 18-year-olds were arrested earlier this month following a bomb-throwing spree...

The bombs were constructed from household chemicals, aluminum foil and plastic water bottles...

When questioned by police, one of the teens said he had spent the evening "‘pranking' with fireworks with friends,"...

They were charged on Friday with four counts each of felony bomb possession....

Please see: http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/the-bomb-boys-book-project/x/2671256?c=activity

Very Respectfully,
Michael Yon
Your Writer,

Please remember that this website accepts no advertisement and is dependent on your support.

PS Please sign up for my Twitter.com updates at "Michael_Yon" [http://twitter.com/Michael_Yon] (not Michael Yon).

http://www.facebook.com/#/MichaelYonFanPage?ref=sgm
~
www.michaelyon-online.com
~
Http://www.michaelyon_online.com/index.php
~~~~~
If you would like to encourage US Troops overseas, but are not sure just how to begin, visit www.anysoldier.com for ideas.
~~~~~
5 Things New Veterans Expect From All Political Candidates


1. Defend the New GI Bill
2. Employ the New Greatest Generation
3. Prevent suicide among troops and veterans
4. Build a truly 21st Century VA
5. Improve Care for Female Veterans


http://iava.org/blog/5-things-new-veterans-expect-all-candidates-2012
~~~~~
Please remember ... America is not at war. The U.S. Military is at war. America is at the MALL.
~~~~~
Jimmy Malone shared this news story with us.

This is liberalism in a nutshell. "I don't care how hard you work, it's not fair that you always win."
~
Librarian wants to ban 5-time reading champ from contest

After Tyler Weaver read 63 books between June 24 and Aug. 3 to win this year’s Dig Into Reading competition at the Hudson Falls Public Library, director Marie Gandron told a reporter from the Glens Falls Post-Star that Weaver “hogs’’ the contest every year and should “step aside.”

“Other kids quit because they can’t keep up,’’ Gandron said.

Gandron told the Post-Star she initially wanted to change the contest rules so that the winners' names would be drawn out of a hat rather than just being the children who read the most books.

Lita Casey, a library aide for 28 years, told the Post-Star that Gandron’s idea to change the rules to picking names out of a hat is “ridiculous.”

“My feeling is you work, you get it,’’ Casey said. “That’s just the way it is in anything. My granddaughter started working on track in grade school and ended up being a national champ. Should she have backed off and said, ‘No, somebody else should win?’

http://www.today.com/books/librarian-wants-ban-5-time-reading-champ-contest-6C10960198
~~~~~
Mustard Seed Financial - Aug 19 - David Ashby

The High Cost of Smoking is Higher Than You Think

If you are a smoker, you probably won’t read this. If you are a nonsmoker, tell a smoker about it. A recent article in the Wall Street journal caught my attention. The article discussed how smokers earn, on average, about 20 percent less than nonsmokers. That’s a lot of money at any wage level. In the study by the Atlanta Federal Reserve Bank, it didn't matter if you were a social smoker or a chain smoker, the wage difference was still there. We've all seen a worker standing outside the place of business smoking a cigarette. I figure smokers take more breaks than nonsmokers, which results in lost productivity. But I've also wondered about smokers prior to the break, thinking about that next cigarette. There’s probably some decline in productivity due to the mental distraction of smoking. Smokers also miss more days of work, on average 2 to 3 days, than nonsmokers. For whatever reasons, employers are docking smokers by a hefty margin according to the report.

Ever noticed that when you apply for life insurance, you pay a higher rate if you are a smoker? That seems pretty obvious of course, since smoking reduces your life expectancy. That means the life insurance company has to pay out sooner rather than later and collects premiums over a shorter period. Since smokers pay more for life insurance, how come they don’t pay more for health insurance? Well, they‘re starting to. Obamacare will allow insurers to charge differential premiums for smokers versus non-smokers. Plus some employers are already adapting to the idea. So if you are a smoker with health insurance coverage, you can expect to see your health insurance costs increase at a faster rate than non-smokers.


Besides health insurance premiums, smokers also pay out higher costs for health care. According to research published in the New England Journal of Medicine, smokers pay roughly 40 percent more in health costs than non-smokers at a given age. Of course, since smokers have a shorter life expectancy, the lifetime tab differential is less. Smokers live on average 13 to 14 years less than non-smokers. On average, one cigarette takes eleven minutes off your life.

Getting ready to sell your house? If you are a smoker, expect to get less for it. A study by Pfizer shows smokers get from 10 to 30 percent less for a home than a similar smoke free home. If you are a non-smoker and have ever been forced to take a smoking room at a hotel, you understand that. I imagine there is a similar discount on the sale of cars driven by smokers.

Despite all the costs discussed above, we haven’t even gotten to the price of cigarettes. I guess they are now over $5 a pack. At two packs a day, that is $300 a month, or $3,600 a year. At three packs a day, well, you can do the math. Unfortunately, for many families where a smoker is present, somebody in the family is doing without some things. Often it’s the kids, not to mention the second hand smoke they are getting, which will likely increase their health issues down the road.

Now for some back of the napkin calculations as to the lifetime cost of smoking. As mentioned above, smokers make about 20% less than non-smokers. Let’s conservatively say this costs $5,000 a year. There are also insurance and health care differentials that could amount to $1,000 a year or more. The cost of smoking a pack a day would be $1,800 a year. The costs of the decreased value of homes/vehicles and second hand smoke are hard to quantify but let’s just add another $500 per year as a “catch-all.” The annual cost could be approximately $8,300. Over a 40 year period adjusted for inflation this could cost you $1,000,000, which unless you are a member of Congress amounts to a significant sum of money.

As a teenager, I watched my grandfather die of emphysema. It’s a painful disease and it’s painful to witness someone who has it. I clearly recall a conversation with him where he advised me to never start smoking. That conversation was enough for me and it’s probably saved me a lot of money and health issues. In my grandfather’s defense, the hazards of smoking weren't well known back then. But in today’s world, you have to wonder what motivates a person to start smoking. Who wants to spend money, and lot’s of it, for a shorter, less healthy life? If you made it through this article and you are a smoker, maybe you've got a few new reasons to quit. The cost of smoking is extremely high.

Published in the Texarkana Gazette on August 18, 2013.
~~~~~
Favorite Quotes:

Mistakes are the portals of discovery. ~ James Joyce via Ron Hazelton

“Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.”
― Winston Churchill via Jimmy Malone
~~~~~
The following wisdom is shared by our friends and family.

Nancee Davis Law

Lord ... I will not back up, let up, put up or shut up until I have everything You have promised.

God sees our light when we only see our shadows.

If you only had everything you prayed for yesterday, what would you have?

Life is like an old dirt road. It can have bumps, twists and sometimes ruts but as long as you keep going, you'll get through it.

Nothing is hidden from Your sight
Wherever I go, You will find me
You know every detail of my life
You are God and You don't miss a thing

God sees our light when we only see our shadows.

When you're down and troubled and you need a helping hand, I've got a friend that you can call on. His name is Jesus

There is always gonna be someone in your life that makes you look forward to tomorrow

Before you judge someone, take a look at yourself

This is for somebody: God has a way of turning your situation around. It may look like, the storm will not cease, but I'm here to declare God is your peace.

#God is working things out for you, even when you don't feel it. Have #faith and be #thankful.

Definitely gonna be a more than 2 cups of coffee kind of day

Feed your faith and your fears will starve to death.

Use the Word as a weapon against thoughts of the world.

When I stand before #God at the end of my life, I hope that I don't have a single bit of talent left, and say, I used everything you gave me.

Change your thinking, change your life

Ever have one of those days where you don't want to get up and just want to sit around in your pj's all day....

It's not how many times you fall, it's about how many times you get back up and stand firm.

You may run but you can't hide, God knows exactly where you are

Sunday is the day to refuel your spirit so get up and get to church. Whatever you need, God's got it!
~~~~~
http://www.shelfari.com
http://www.shelfari.com/bugsbleat/shelf
~~~~~

For the latest issue of "Da Bleat.", go to http://www.bugsbleat.blogspot.com.
Our photos are posted at http://www.bugsbleatphotos.blogspot.com.
~~~~~
Photos on the front of this week’s “Bleat” include - - A steaming bowl of Annette's Homemade Soup, Her new "Posey", Josiah in his new Boy's and Girl's Club Football Equipment, The "Brown Duke" circa 1960, The Columbia County Courthouse.
~~~~~
Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
~~~~~
1 Thessalonians 6:20-21, Luke 9:22, Philemon 1:22, Titus 1:1, Galatians 6:7-9, Philemon 1:15-16, Philemon 1:8-9, Luke 9:24, Philemon 1:1-4
~~~~~
Break Point - - Raising Eric Metaxas (re-air)
Challenging Consumers of Culture
By: John Stonestreet
Published: August 23, 2013

The first question Chuck Colson asked someone interviewing for a job was: “So, what books are you reading these days?” He knew the answer would speak volumes.

I hope you heard Eric Metaxas on Tuesday’s BreakPoint broadcast on how important it is for Christians to tell great stories. He said Christians have a responsibility to join the artists and storytellers of culture, and can uniquely point culture to our good, true, and beautiful God. If you missed it, go to BreakPoint.org. You’ll find it under “Commentaries.”

Eric is spot-on, as usual. But, I want to “see” his call for storytelling and “raise” him with a call for story hearing.

Here’s what I mean. Yes, Christians should be among the producers of great stories, art, books, TV shows, etc. But the fact of the matter is that few of us produce these cultural artifacts, but all of us consume them. Most of us aren’t movie producers, but movie watchers. Not authors, but readers.

And the books, songs, movies and media most Americans, including Christians, choose to consume these days are downright depressing. As Eric mentioned yesterday, the number one and two movies at the box office are ridiculously, almost pornographically, violent movies. And it’s Daily_Commentary_8_23_13not just violence and sex. It’s also the silliness that wastes enormous amounts of our time and our brains.

I first understood this after reading Neil Postman’s incredible book, “Amusing Ourselves to Death.” In it, he contrasts the futurist visions in George Orwell’s “1984” and Aldous Huxley’s “Brave New World.”

At first glance their visions were similar; but Postman suggests otherwise. “What Orwell feared,” Postman wrote, “were those who would ban books. What Huxley feared was that there would be no reason to ban a book, because there would be no one who wanted to read one . . . Orwell feared that the truth would be concealed from us. Huxley feared the truth would be drowned in a sea of irrelevance. Orwell feared we would become a captive culture. Huxley feared we would become a trivial culture … In short, Orwell feared that what we hate will ruin us. Huxley feared that what we love will ruin us.”

Any objective look at American culture, in which we evangelicals often seem intent on imitating and embracing, will tell you that Postman and Huxley were right.

So yes, Christians should produce great art and great stories, but we also have the responsibility to cultivate our taste so we prefer great art and great stories to the trivial, the senselessly violent, and the vulgar.

In his essay “Weight of Glory,” C. S. Lewis wrote: “We are half-hearted creatures . . . like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”

Let me paraphrase Lewis. "We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with reality TV, cheesy romance novels, and decorating our homes with trinkets—when we could watch great films, read great books, old and new, that accurately describe the human condition and cause us to examine our lives; and feast our eyes on works of art that point to a greater beauty and Truth."

Here are some small steps toward ennobling our tastes: Parents, read to your young children. Unplug the Newsletter_Gen_180x180_Bvarious screens in your home for a significant period of time each day. Encourage teens to read good books, including fiction. Read those yourself. Watch films together, especially as families, and discuss afterward. And pastors, don’t seek to entertain on Sundays, but to challenge. Aim for depth and worship, not mere emotional stimulation.

At BreakPoint.org, we’ve compiled a list of suggestions for great literature for young and old, great films, and even resources for pastors. Just click on this commentary to find them.

And remember: while we’re trying to shape the culture, the culture can also be shaping us.

(This commentary was originally aired on January 10, 2013).

Further Reading and Information

Challenging Consumers of Culture - Next Steps

Set aside Start cultivating your own tastes--read the great classics yourself and to your children. Get friends and family together and watch a great movie and then discuss the theme. Visit an art gallery exhibit of great paintings and sculpture.

And check out our latest Re: series video on our culture's fascination with mindless entertainment.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UgEEDkLy35E

Books:

Amusing Ourselves to Death: Public Discourse in the Age of Show Business
Neil Postman | Penguin Books | December 2005
http://www.colsoncenterstore.org/product.asp?sku=9780143036531

Other Resources:

Read a great book! Check out Chuck Colson’s recommended reading list
http://www.breakpoint.org/resources/recommended-books

Books for youth as well: Youth Reads
http://www.breakpoint.org/features-columns/youth-reads

Want to watch a great movie? We have some suggestions: BreakPoint’s recommended films
http://www.breakpoint.org/resources/recommended-films

Pastors! Visit the Worldview Church website, filled with resources for pastors, by pastors
http://www.worldviewchurch.org/wvc-home

http://www.breakpoint.org/bpcommentaries

Copyright © 2013 Colson Center. All Rights Reserved
~~~~~
Photos on the front of this week’s “Bleat” include - - A steaming bowl of Annette's Homemade Soup, Her new "Posey", Josiah in his new Boy's and Girl's Club Football Equipment, The "Brown Duke" circa 1960, The Columbia County Courthouse.
~~~~~
Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
~~~~~

Residents of Columbia County, Arkansas are represented in Congress by:
~

Senator John Boozman (R_ AR)
1 Russell Courtyard
Washington DC, 20510
Phone: 202-224-4843
http://boozman.senate.gov/
~
Senator Mark Pryor (D_ AR)
Phone 202_224_2353
FAX 202_228_0908
http://pryor.senate.gov/
~
Representative Tom Cotton (R )
Phone 202_225_3772
FAX 202_225_1314
http://cotton.house.gov/

Other states congresspersons can be found at: [http://www.visi.com/juan/congress/]
~~~~~
THOUGHT OF THE DAY:

"In this world, you must be a bit too kind to be kind enough." - Pierre Carlet de Chamblain de Marivaux

"Lend yourself to others, but give yourself to yourself." - Michel de Montaigne

"If fate means you to lose, give him a good fight anyhow." - William McFee

"It's never too late to become what you might have been." - George Elliot

"Cheerfulness and contentment are great beautifiers and are famous preservers of youthful looks." - Charles Dickens

"Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die." - Malachy McCourt

"If I had my life to live over, I would perhaps have more actual troubles but I'd have fewer imaginary ones." - Don Herold

"Wit makes its own welcome, and levels all distinctions. No dignity, no learning, no force of character, can make any stand against good wit." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing." - Agatha Christie

"At first dreams seem impossible, then improbable, then inevitable." - Christopher Reeve

"Never ruin an apology with an excuse." - Kimberly Johnson

"To be able to ask a question clearly is two-thirds of the way to getting it answered." - John Ruskin

"If it takes a lot of words to say what you have in mind, give it more thought." - Dennis Roth

"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself." - Harvey Fierstein
~~~~~
Breaking Christian News
URGENT PRAYER NEEDED FOR BELIEVERS IN EGYPT – We just received a report from personnel in the Middle East that violence against Christians has escalated. Please pray for our brothers and sisters in Egypt.
~
Son Commands His Dead Father to Live; "Flabbergasted" Doctor Proclaims, "It's a Miracle"
Teresa Neumann (Aug 23, 2013)

"I'm calling it a miracle because I've never seen anything like it." -Dr. Raja Nazir

Tony(Kettering, OH) — Dr. Raja Nazir, a Kettering Medical Center cardiologist, was said to be "flabbergasted" after witnessing the miracle revival of his 37-year-old patient Anthony "Tony" Yahle, whose heart stopped beating for nearly an hour on August 5. (Photo: whiotv.com)

"In the last 20 years," said Nazir, "I've never seen anybody we have pronounced dead… and then for him to come back… I've never seen it. I'm calling it a miracle," he added, "because I've never seen anything like it."

Numerous reports detail the sequence of events that led up to that miracle, starting with the fact that first responders were first called to Yahle's home when his wife, Melissa, noticed he wasn't breathing normally and couldn't rouse him from his sleep. It took several shocks delivered to Tony's heart by medics to find a heartbeat.

Then, at the hospital, his heart stopped altogether—for 45 minutes. Meanwhile, Melissa and her family and friends from church were praying up a storm.

LawrenceBut Dr. Nazir, who had done everything he could to bring Tony back to life, was quoted as saying that by that point he realized he must give up and call the time of death. And then…

Lawrence Yahle, Tony and Melissa's son, came running down the hospital corridor, burst into the room, and hearing the doctor pronounce his father dead, he pointed at his father and shouted, "Dad, you're not going to die today."

You guessed it. Moments later, Tony's heart started beating again and after a couple weeks of testing and recuperation, he is set to return to work on Monday.

Since the power of life and death is in the tongue (Proverbs 18:21), should we really be surprised?!

editor@breakingchristiannews.com
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>

GCF: Exercise Bike

The wife was determined to ride her exercise bike several miles a day.

Late one night, having put it off all day, she climbed aboard the noisy contraption in the bedroom, where her husband was reading a book.

After about 20 minutes of listening to the squeaky machine, he glanced up. "Don't you think it's time you turned around and headed for home?" he asked.
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Bottom of the Class

"I'm worried about you always being at the bottom of your class," said the father to his son.

"Don't worry Dad," he replied. "They still teach the same thing at both ends."
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Old Veteran

When I worked as a medical intern in a local hospital, one of my patients was an elderly man with a thick accent.

It took me some time to understand that he had no insurance coverage.

One thing he had made clear was that he was a World War II veteran, so I had him transported to the Veteran's Administration hospital, where he'd be eligible for benefits.

The next day my patient was back, with a note from the VA: "Right war, wrong side."
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Knitting

My wife is a knitting expert and designs unique exotic patterns all the time. Not long ago we had lunch in a real Chinese restaurant, where the menu was in Chinese and only the head waiter spoke English.

She was so impressed with the calligraphy on the handwritten menu that she used her smart phone to take a photo. Sometime later I saw the result -- a stunning white sweater with Chinese symbols hand-stitched down the front.

The sweater received compliments until one night at a party we met a distinguished Chinese gentleman. He asked my wife, "Where did you get the symbols on your sweater?"

She explained about the restaurant.

"Would you like to know what they mean?"

"I'm afraid to ask, but tell me anyway."

He read, "This is a cheap dish, but good."
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Grandma's Accident

I was lying in my hospital bed on the third day after an accident when my eight-year-old granddaughter arrived with her mom.

She looked in awe at the wrist-to-shoulder cast on left arm, then asked to see the rest of the damage. I showed her my broken right ankle, which wasn't in a cast yet; my left leg, bruised knee to thigh; and, pushing back my bangs a raw bump the size of an egg above my eyebrow.

Her blue eyes wide, she asked earnestly, "Grandma, can I take you to school tomorrow for show and tell?"
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Health Club

"I'm going to quit this health club."

"Why?"

"The floors are so low I can't touch my toes."
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Bank Account

Maury ran a small commercial real estate company. One day, a few years back, he sold his interest in one of his projects for 3 million dollars.

The only problem was that the guy who bought him out was a big shot in his very small hometown in Pennsylvania, and he wanted Maury to use the local bank branch where he had his business.

So Maury goes in to the guy's local bank and tells the teller he'd like to open a few accounts. The teller goes through the list of gifts you can get for your initial deposit. $300 gets you a toaster, $600 for a television, etc. The teller then asks him how much he would like to deposit. Without saying a word, Maury hands her the cashier's check.

The teller turns bright red, and runs to get her manager. The manager escorts him into her office, where they sit down. "Sir, welcome to our town. We're thrilled to have you as a customer. What can I get you?"

To which Maury replied, "I'll take 10,000 toasters."
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Plastic Surgery

In the plastic-surgery office where I work as a nurse, a 92 year-old patient was preparing to have some reconstructive surgery on her nose. She was extremely sharp and knowledgeable, asking many good questions about the procedure.

Just as the doctor was getting ready for the surgery, the woman said, "Now doctor, make me beautiful."

"Are you kidding me?" he replied. "You're already beautiful"

"Well, in that case," said the elderly woman, "Don't deface me."
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Hypochondriac

Hypochondriac that I am, I constantly log on to the Internet to self-diagnose my latest ailment. But even I knew it was time to lighten up the day I typed in the keywords "liver disorders." That let me to a medical site. With growing alarm I realized I had each of the first seven symptoms. Then I came to No.8 and suddenly felt much better: "Feeling of lethargy. No longer enjoys romping and wagging tail."
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Donation

Last week, my wife and I returned home from shopping and saw a card hanging from our mailbox. Without getting out of the car, my wife sighed and told me that a local charity was doing a used-clothing drive and she had forgotten to put out the bags as she had promised. She was surprised when she read the card's message, thanking us for our kind donation. A look of horror then crossed her face as she realized that the two bags of leaves we had raked and bagged the previous night were now gone.
_ _______________________________ _
| All computers wait
| at the same speed.
_ _______________________________ _
| Why does "slow down"
| and "slow up"
| mean the same thing?
_ _______________________________ _
| The sooner you fall behind,
| the more time you'll have
| to catch up.
_ _______________________________ _
| I think it's wrong
| that only one company
| makes the game "Monopoly."
_ _______________________________ _
| Conference :
| The confusion of one person
| multiplied by the number present.
_ _______________________________ _
| I haven't been feeling so great.
| I swallowed a door knob,
| and it keeps turning my stomach.
_ _______________________________ _
| The older you get, the tougher
| it is to lose weight, because
| by then your body and your fat
| are really good friends.
_ _______________________________ _
| To get maximum attention,
| just make a great
| big mistake.
_ _______________________________ _
| The person who knows everything
| has the most to learn.
_ _______________________________ _
| It is unfortunate that, as we
| grow up, nature robs us of the
| knowledge of what youngsters are
| always giggling about.
_ _______________________________ _
| Thomas S. Ellsworth
| tellswor@slonet.org
| http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor
_ _______________________________ _

If this was forwarded to you, please consider your own subscription to Good Clean Fun. It's free! Just send an email to: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Two blondes were sipping their Starbucks latt├ęs when a truck went past loaded up with rolls of sod.
"I'm going to do that when I win the lottery," announced Blonde #1.

"Do what?" asked Blonde #2.

"Send my lawn out to be mowed."

Thanks to Joe Mullins
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
A group of women were at a seminar on "How to live in a loving relationship with your husband."
The women were asked, "How many of you love your husband?"
All the women raised their hands.
Then they were asked, "When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?"
Some women answered today, some yesterday, some couldn't remember.
The women were then told to take out their cell phones and text their husband: "I love you, sweetheart."
The women were then told to exchange phones and to read aloud the text message responses.

Here are some of the replies:

1. Who is this?
2. Eh, mother of my children, are you sick?
3. I love you too.
4. What now? Did you crash the car again?
5. I don't understand what you mean?
6. What did you do now?
7. ?!?
8. Don't beat about the bush, just tell me how much you need?
9. Am I dreaming?
10. If you don't tell me who this message is actually for, someone will die.
11. I thought we agreed we would not drink during the day.
12. Your mother is coming to stay, isn't she??

Thanks to Corinne
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Two Black Eyes

One Sunday morning, a wife complained of a bad stomach ache and wouldn't be able to attend the church service, so her husband went alone. When he returned later, he had two black eyes!

When she asked what happened, he explained that when everyone rose to sing a hymn, he noticed the lady in the pew in front of him had her dress tucked into her rear end. Well, being ever the gentleman, he figured she wouldn't want to be seen that way, so he reached forward and pulled it out for her. She turned around and slugged him in the eye!

"But," his wife said, "how did the OTHER eye get black too?"

He explained: "When she turned back around, I was still a bit stunned, but I thought to myself she must have wanted it there, so I reached forward and gently tucked it back in."

Received from Becky Day.

(_:][:_)

Trombone Housekeeper

A trombonist had a fantastic gig on the day he had to play in an opera. He tried to find a replacement but without success. Finally he went to his housekeeper and convinced him to take his place. "I give you my other trombone. You just do what the guy next to you is doing, and it will be OK."

The next morning he asked the housekeeper how it was.

"Catastrophe. Your colleague sent also his housekeeper to replace him."

Received from ArcaMax Jokes.

(_:][:_)

Still Waiting

After waiting more than an hour and a half for her date, Sarah decided she had been stood up.

Exasperated, she changed from her dinner dress into pajamas and slippers, fixed some popcorn and hot chocolate, and resigned herself to an evening of TV.

No sooner had she flopped down in front of the TV when the doorbell rang. Her dad went to the door, and there stood her date.

He took one look at Sarah on the couch and gasped. "I'm two hours late and she's still not ready?"

Received from Doc's Daily Chuckle.

(_:][:_)

Wrong Pants

Teacher: Joey, if you put your hand in one pants pocket and found 75 cents, then you put your other hand in your other pants pocket and found 50 cents, what would you have?

Joey: I'd have somebody else's pants on!

Received from ArcaMax Jokes.

(_:][:_)

Puns and Such

If Santa Claus had a father, do you think there must have been a Grandfather Claus?

We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.
(Aesop, 620 BC - 560 BC)

I always prayed before my trigonometry tests. I was hoping for a sine from above.
(Pun of the Day)

Why do crazy people always jump off the tops of buildings to see if they can fly? Wouldn't it be safer to try to fly UP to the top?
(Aaron Luchich in Ruminations)

Q: What's the difference between a church bell and a politician?
A: A church bell peals from the steeple.
(Stan Kegel's Puns of the Day)

Old age is when former classmates are so gray and wrinkled and bald, they don't recognize you.

"Nothing raises a golf score like witnesses."
(from a fortune cookie)

Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11?
(BWJokes.com)

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. Something is very wrong when you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree.

I'm trying to save my money. Who knows? One day it may be valuable.

It's amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawnmower, snow blower, or vacuum cleaner.

Overheard on the Pediatrics floor: "Are you medical or surgical?"
"I don't know what you mean."
"Were you sick when you came in here, or did they make you sick when you got here?"

I used to try a lot of different sports when I was a kid, without ever excelling in any particular one. Then I got older and realized you can *buy* trophies. Now I'm good at everything.
(Demetri Martin)

This car: designed by computer, built by robot, driven by moron.

Billboard for a safe company: "If your stuff is stolen, it's not our vault."

Received from FranCMT2.

(_:][:_)

At The Vet

One day at the veterinarian's office where I take my cat, a man and the receptionist were verbally sparring.

After a few moments a technician came to her co-worker's defense. "Sir," she interjected, "do you know what happens to aggressive males in this office?"

Received from Steve Sanderson.

(_:][:_)

Trust?

As a new school principal, Mr. Mitchell was checking over his school on the first day. Passing the stockroom, he was startled to see the door wide open and teachers bustling in and out, carrying off books and supplies in preparation for the arrival of students the next day.

The school where he had been a principal the previous year had used a checkout system only slightly less elaborate than that at Fort Knox.

Cautiously, he asked the school's long-time custodian, "Do you think it's wise to keep the stockroom unlocked and to let the teachers take things without requisitions?"

The custodian looked at him gravely. "We trust them with the children, don't we?" he said.

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

(_:][:_)

Better Grades

The little boy wasn't getting good marks in school.

One day he made the teacher quite surprised. He tapped her on the shoulder and said, "I don't want to scare you, but my daddy says if I don't get better grades, somebody is going to get a spanking."

Received from Pastor Tim.

(_:][:_)

Twins

Recently a young woman came into my father's insurance office with her newborn twins.

Dad asked her if she ever had any trouble telling them apart.

She gave him a funny look before responding, "No, I haven't had any problem. This is Benjamin, and this is Elizabeth."

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

(_:][:_)

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Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Column - - http://www.madkane.com/humor_blog/

Limerick Ode To Elmore Leonard

Written with fond apologies to the late, lamented Elmore Leonard, after re-reading his New York Times piece, WRITERS ON WRITING; Easy on the Adverbs, Exclamation Points and Especially Hooptedoodle. (His article cautions against the abuse of prologues, adverbs and other description, exclamation points, weather references, regional dialect, the word “suddenly,” etc.)

On a hot, sunny day, an attractive young man sat in a tiny, darkened room, compulsively reading Elmore Leonard’s essay on writing. Carefully noting his ten writing no-nos, he bellowed loudly, “Fuggedaboutit! I can violate all of Leonard’s rules in a single limerick!”

“It’s raining!” he loudly cried out.
Then suddenly felt like a lout.
“A mensch I shall be…”
From this you can see
Leonard’s rules are what writing’s about.

© Madeleine Begun Kane. All Rights Reserved.
http://www.madkane.com/
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"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." __ Franklin D. Roosevelt
"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. _ _ George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" _ _ Queen E. Watson
“A political class of Republicans and Democrats that look after themselves, not the Nation. A media hostile to the very precepts of this nation. A generation of Americans who see morals as vices, and are ignorant of America's Actual History.”
"The things that will destroy America are prosperity-at-any-price, peace-at-any-price, safety-first instead of duty-first, the love of soft living, and the get-rich-quick theory of life." - - Theodore Roosevelt
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Central Dispatch 234_5655
(Non _ Emergency Number)
Direct Numbers
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http://www. aapcc. org/
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Interested in getting in touch with the Banner_News through e_mail? editor@bannernews.net For the editor, news@bannernews.net For news and sports items, Coming Events, Diary, Church News, school and civic events. [http://www.bannernews.net/]
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"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." __ "Bug"
"I read the end of the book. We win!" __ "Bug"
"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." __ "Bug"
"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." _ _ "Bug"
"It's no big deal doing what God tells you to do. A big deal would be NOT doing what God tells you to do. Just ask Jonah." _ _ Paul Troquille
“Nam et ipsa scientia potestas est.” Knowledge is power. _ Francis Bacon
"The problem is here and now. The time for talk is past. The time for action is now."
Comments on the first Earth Day _ James F. McClellan via John "Fuzzy" Thurman
~~~~~
Hope you enjoy the newsletter.
Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" __"Bug"
God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
God is Good and Faithful CU 73 IC JFM CSP NREMT_I KC5HII

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