Bug's Bleat - - GCF: House Cleaning

Janna, Annette, Shirley and Mechelle,




The Incredibly Gifted Wife of My Youth and Bug,




Our Missouri Kin Folks sing at the Mission Church,




Annette Studying,




Dustin,




Annette worshiping,




Pastor Jimmy prepares to baptize "Da Boys" and several other baby Christians.




The Mission Church sign,




Dustin with his Missouri Kin; Mechelle and Janna




Annette's Hibiscus Just Keeps Blooming




We're looking for these "rose" colored paver stones. They measure 1.75" thick, 5.5" wide and are either square (like this one) or 8.5" long. Annette started laying them and then found out that Walmart has no more. Lowes and Home Depot also didn't have any.




Volume 15, Issue 31 Friday, August 09, 2013

Hello ALL,

In spite of situations, we still find a plethora of things to laugh about. At the doctor’s Tuesday, Annette was trying to tell me something and, when I didn’t understand, I repeated back to her, what I thought she had said. Instead of confirming that I had heard her correctly, she told me to lower my voice.

It seems that the exam room walls were paper thin. So I tried asking again in, what I thought was, a quieter voice. Annette’s reaction indicated that I was still talking loud.

So I tried for a third time to whisper. But, by this time, Annette was so tickled by my attempts to understand her; she’d forgotten what she tried to tell me in the first place.

When the nurse came in, we were both holding our sides and laughing so hard we were crying. Then, to make it worse, the nurse asked us what was so funny. But, since neither of us remembered why this whole episode started … we just continued to laugh uncontrollably.
~~~~~
Annette asked Ethan if he and Josiah ever fought.

“Not really too much.” He said. “Like when we’re playing chess, I’ll say it’s my move, he’ll say it’s his move. … My move. No My Move. No My Move. No My Move. My Move. My Move. My Move. … SMACK!”
~
You know, bothers are the same the world over.
~
Josiah and Ethan decided to build with wood.









Ethan built a Shelf. :0)
~~~~~
The Arkansas Emergency Medical Conference is one of the best in the nation. National and even international speakers on a verity of topics, plenty of continuing education hours, a truly impressive vendor display and some of the finest folks in the US to “Conference” with. Here’s one of my “buds” comments on the whole thing.
~
JoAnn Griesenauer

Ok I think I may be ready to leave a day early for Hot Springs. I have rushed to get things done and did all the girly stuff.

The reason a lot of us get amped up for conference in Arkansas is because we consider ourselves an EMS family, it is a strong brother and sisterhood than most realize. It is kind of like Cheers, where everybody knows everybody and we all share the same bond. We "get" each other.

Unless you are constantly challenged on a day to day basis with life or death decisions, one will never understand how our mind works. The prehospital setting is unique; we are the first ones in or the first to run towards danger not away.

We know we have loved ones home but when we get that call, nothing else matters. We only zone in on the task ahead. We don't always get every call right, we certainly don't save everyone either. We just do whatever it takes one call at a time.

It takes a huge toll on us emotionally, mentally, spiritually, financially, and physically. We go through so much we just block out whatever bothers us so we can do our job and hope we all go home.

Most of us can walk into a room and assess everything within seconds as it is second nature. We have crude jokes at the dinner table; we have poor eating and sleeping habits. Most of us are lucky to live to age 60 if we don't burn out within the first 5 to 7 years.

Our families, wow they should get the award and recognition because they sacrifice so much to let us do our job. Oh, and on our days off, we don't get any because there is always an emergency somewhere and God tends to put us where he needs us. The phone never stops ringing because someone needs medical advice or an understanding ear.

We fix and solve everything for so many that count on us for the answers. We didn't sign up for that part but it comes with the job.

I realized a few days ago, I was getting choked up with a couple of my patient’s situations. The elderly really get to me because they have transitioned into a world that if you can't keep up, society leaves them. It has been a really rough year for me personally to return back to my career. I know my limits and when it is time to get a break.

We can't discuss our calls due to privacy acts but after a while it is more about how we cope through the calls through camaraderie of those that understand without having to tell the story.

This is just short insight into why we get excited about our EMS conference.
~~~~~
News Item: The FCC is considering modifying its indecency policies regarding the use of profanity and non-sexual nudity on radio and network television.

The FCC issued a public notice [http://transition.fcc.gov/Daily_Releases/Daily_Business/2013/db0401/DA-13-581A1.pdf]. Basically, the “big three” networks have asked that they be allowed to use “Non Sexual” nudity and “explicit” language in their normal program stream. I guess I can understand the concept of “Non Sexual” nudity although many of their shows already have fairly explicit “Non Nudity” sex scenes and language.
~~~~~
As a sign of our societies continuing decent into crudeness, rudeness and bad manners this news story that discusses the use of racial epithets in daily language caught my eye. http://apnews.myway.com/article/20130807/DA81CGSG2.html
~
It still surprises me how many folks (of all ages) now think it “normal” to use profanity in their daily public language. And, humor now has to involve some bodily function to appeal to the average person. I looked back to one of our favorite authors, an English Lawyer and one of my mother’s favorite comediennes to get their opinions on the issue.

“A dying culture invariably exhibits personal rudeness. Bad manners. Lack of consideration for others in minor matters. A loss of politeness, of gentle manners, is more significant than is a riot...”
― Robert A. Heinlein, Friday

“For if you suffer your people to be ill-educated, and their manners to be corrupted from their infancy, and then punish them for those crimes to which their first education disposed them, what else is to be concluded from this, but that you first make thieves and then punish them.”
― Thomas More, Utopia

“The line between the public life and the private life has been erased, due to the rapid decline of manners and courtesy. There is a certain crudeness and crassness that has suddenly become accepted behavior, even desirable.”
― Fannie Flagg, Welcome to the World, Baby Girl!
~
I don’t have room here to chronicle a tenth of the rudeness and inconsideration we see on a daily basis, but here are a couple of my “favorites”:
1. Leaving shopping carts all over the parking lot, effectively blocking parking as well as potentially damaging vehicles. And many (if not most) are left just a few steps away from a cart corral!
2. Blaring loud music into the ears of unwilling listeners. There’s a vehicle that passes my home several times a day, often rattling our windows.
On the other hand, there are still a majority of folks who do use good manners. You see them offer their place in line at the grocery to someone with just a few items. They hold the door for folks. They use polite language, etc.

As for crude humor and language … Annette and I have resigned ourselves to being in the minority. We don’t expect the world to bend to our preferences, so we just continue to edit our lives to avoid whatever we can that doesn’t edify us.
~~~~~
Listened to a home schooling debate the other day where much of the discussion centered on how we need the government to make sure we don't "miss educate" our kids.
Hummm?????

Then I listened (we were traveling and I had the XM radio on NPR) to a San Francisco regulator RANTING about the horrible folks who had started using smart phone apps to sell rides to San Francisco citizens. You load the app, enter your location, destination and time to depart and the app hooks you up with a ride share service. The services are EXPLODING due to the poor service of San Francisco cabbies that have government licenses (the same license that takes years to obtain from the RANTING bureaucrats department.)

I personally wouldn't home school, couldn't do it. And I know many fine teachers who do a great job educating the kids in their charge. But I also know many parents who home schooled their kids and did a better job than their local school could. And … they didn't have to have a master’s in education to do it.

As for folks who home school and shouldn’t, well child abuse and endangerment laws still apply. Failure to educate kids falls under that. P.S. are you a supporter of "No Child Let Succeed" as currently pushed by the feds? I don't know of a single teacher who thinks standardized tests are an improvement to the education process.

As for cab licenses, etc. Supposedly they are enacted to ensure that the streets aren’t clogged with cabs and the ones that are on the street are safe and qualified. But if that was working, why would so many folks in San Francisco choose the Ride Share services over cabs?

Bottom line, I continue to believe that we can actually do many things without our government telling us how or giving us permission.
~~~~~
The Citizenship Project - - Re. The article by Mr. Prager that we posted yesterday - There are two sides to life, law and love. The goal is to keep them in balance. Yet we now call people "insensitive" if they even bring up things like law and standards.
Unfortunately that doesn't make them go away, and love without law is anarchy. We need to value law and standards in our culture equally with love if we are to survive and succeed. Most of them are just common sense. https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Citizenship-Project/165567981461?hc_location=stream
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Dennis Prager contends that the US is still the Least Racist Country in the World - - The Left needs to position America as a racist country to sustain its political success.
http://m.nationalreview.com/articles/295611/still-least-racist-country-world-dennis-prager
~~~~~
EarthSky’s meteor shower guide for 2013 - - The weekend of August 9-11, 2013 is a wonderful time to watch for meteors! http://earthsky.org/astronomy-essentials/earthskys-meteor-shower-guide?utm_source=EarthSky+News&utm_campaign=5960ffaccb-EarthSky_News&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_c643945d79-5960ffaccb-393703501
~~~~~
Why the World Is Smarter Than Us

Why is the U.S. lagging behind our peers in educating our students? The Daily Beast’s Dana Goldstein on a new book with a startling conclusion: they value intellect more than we do.

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2013/08/09/why-the-world-is-smarter-than-us.html?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter&utm_campaign=cheatsheet_morning&cid=newsletter%3Bemail%3Bcheatsheet_morning&utm_term=Cheat%20Sheet
~~~~~
French Revolution
Why Are Young People Leaving Church?
By David French
Hint: It's not because they're just too awesome for it.

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/frenchrevolution/2013/08/02/why-are-millennials-leaving-the-church-the-narcissism-factor/?utm_source=SilverpopMailing&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Family%208.8.13%20%281%29&utm_content=&spMailingID=42275353&spUserID=NTMxNTY1MTU5ODUS1&spJobID=198069495&spReportId=MTk4MDY5NDk1S0
~~~~~
David Ashby's Article: "So How's Your Retirement Coming Along?"
Mustard Seed Financial

So How's Your Retirement Coming Along?

The baby boomers are in transition, moving from workforce to retirement at the rate of about 10,000 a day. The first boomers were born in 1946 and this year they are turning 67. So the oldest of boomers are largely retired by now and this major trend of boomer transition will continue another 15 years or so. At its close, this transition will have seen one out of every four Americans move from workforce age into retirement.

We've heard some pretty dire warnings about the savings rate in this country, that boomers specifically weren't socking away enough money to retire on. And I think those warnings are well founded. Over half the households headed by folks age 55 to 60 have less than $50,000 in savings at that stage in their life. The low savings rate combined with the market crash of 2008 created a potentially bleak scenario for those close to retirement age. But what about the oldest of boomers, those who have already retired? How are they doing? Are they living on mac and cheese or are they making it fairly well? According to an article by Mary Beth Franklin of InvestmentNews, the earliest boomer retirees are in fact doing quite well. She bases her information on a research report by the Metlife Mature Market Institute.

For starters, boomers are not delaying retirement to the extent anticipated as a result of the market crash of 2008. The Metlife Institute surveyed 1,000 boomers born in 1946 and found that 52 percent of them had already retired. Of those who had retired, over half reported that that they in fact retired earlier than expected. Of course, not all early retirements are a good thing. Some were due to health issues or job losses. But the widely expected delays in retirement haven’t panned out as projected by many.

What about the standard of living for those retirees? While total income goes down for almost all retirees once they leave the workplace, an amazing 80 percent of the retirees reported no decline in their standard of living. This is due in some part to lower expenses in retirement plus the collection of Social Security benefits. Only 20 percent reported a decline in their standard of living. Most of these boomers, 86 percent, are collecting Social Security. Of those, half of them reported collecting benefits earlier than they had planned to. This is probably the result of a weak economy plus low savings accounts. Drawing Social Security benefits early, say at age 62, often results in collecting less funds over your lifetime. But hey, today we must eat!

I’ll admit that I’m surprised that early boomer retirees are doing as well as reported, particularly the 80 percent figure of same or higher standard of living after retirement. This flies in the face of the data on personal savings rates. On the other hand, when I look around at the retirees I know, they are doing quite well. So the 80 percent figure seems consistent with what I observe anecdotally.

I have wondered if the earliest batch of boomers is better prepared for retirement than later boomers. Most folks who lived during the Great Depression never forgot it and it affected the way they looked at money for the rest of their lives. So the early boomers are closest to Depression era attitudes and may have done a better job of preparing for retirement than later boomers. I suspect money attitudes may be different, for example, for a boomer born in 1946 versus one born in 1960.

There are a couple of takeaways here. First, while fortunately retirement seems to be going well for early boomers, don’t take that as a sign that you can slack off preparing for it. Specifically, larger nest eggs give you more options in retirement than smaller nest eggs. You don’t want to be in the group who sees a decline in standard of living.

Second, while many of the 1946 boomers have chosen to draw Social Security early, that may not be in your best interest long term. If you begin drawing at age 62, your monthly payment will be roughly 75 percent of what it would be at age 66. At age 80, you may be wishing you had the higher payment. You can also delay drawing benefits beyond your normal retirement age and receive an even larger monthly check down the road. For folks who don’t need the money to live on and expect a long retirement this is often the best strategy to maximize payout of Social Security benefits. Here’s hoping you have the kind of retirement the first wave of boomers is seeing!

Published in the Texarkana Gazette on July 21, 2013.
~~~~~
Genesis 47:13-27

RECENT VIRGINIA CHURCH SERVICE - STIMULUS SERMON

I would love to give the Pastor in Virginia three cheers. This guy is obviously a leader. Perhaps we should each decide who our real leader is... It is amazing to see that very little has changed in 4,000 years.

Good morning, brothers and sisters; it's always a delight to see the pews crowded on Sunday morning, and so eager to get into God's Word. Turn with me in your Bibles, if you will, to the 47th chapter of Genesis. We'll begin our reading at verse 13, and go through verse 27.

Brother Ray, would you stand and read that great passage for us? ... (reading) ... Thank you for that fine reading, Brother Ray. So we see that economic hard times fell upon Egypt, and the people turned to the government of Pharaoh to deal with this for them. And Pharaoh nationalized the grain harvest, and placed the grain in great storehouses that he had built. So the people brought their money to Pharaoh, like a great tax increase, and gave it all to him willingly in return for grain. And this went on until their money ran out, and they were hungry again.

So when they went to Pharaoh after that, they brought their livestock - their cattle, their horses, their sheep, and their donkey - to barter for grain, and verse 17 says that only took them through the end of that year. But the famine wasn't over, was it? So the next year, the people came before Pharaoh and admitted they had nothing left, except their land and their own lives. "There is nothing left in the sight of my lord but our bodies and our land. Why should we die before your eyes, both we and our land? Buy us and our land for food, and we with our land will be servants to Pharaoh. " So they surrendered their homes, their land, and their real estate to Pharaoh's government, and then sold themselves into slavery to him, in return for grain.

What can we learn from this, brothers and sisters?

That turning to the government instead of to God to be our provider in hard times only leads to slavery? Yes... That the only reason government wants to be our provider is to also become our master?

Yes. After Jacob and Joseph passed on, and the Jews began to drift away from their GOD, even they too became slaves in the land of Egypt.

I also tell you a great truth today, and an ominous one.

We see the same thing happening today - the government today wants to "share the wealth" once again, to take it from us and redistribute it back to us. It wants to take control of healthcare, just as it has taken control of education, and ration it back to us, and when government rations it, then government decides who gets it, and how much, and what kind. And if we go along with it, and do it willingly, then we will wind up no differently than the people in Egypt did four thousand years ago - as slaves to the government, and as slaves to their leaders.

What our government is doing now is no different from what Pharaoh's government did then, and it will end the same.

Thanks to Waneta
~~~~~
US officials tighten crude-by-rail shipping rules |
By BETSY MORRIS and RUSSELL GOLD

In a letter to American Petroleum Institute CEO Jack Gerard last week, the Federal Railroad Administration said it is investigating whether some crude shipments contain chemicals -- possibly from the hydraulic-fracturing process used to extract it --that make them more hazardous than indicated.

The Federal Railroad Administration said it is investigating whether some crude shipments contain chemicals -- possibly from the hydraulic-fracturing process used to extract it -- that make them more hazardous than their classification indicates. The agency suspects mixes of crude and other chemicals might be the cause of an increase in damage to tank cars caused by "severe corrosion."

The action is the latest by the agency to toughen regulation of the transport by rail of crude oil after a runaway train hauling tank cars with crude oil derailed and exploded last month, killing 47 people and ravaging the Quebec town of Lac-Megantic. More than 34 million bbl of crude were delivered to US refineries by train in 2012, a five-fold increase compared with a year earlier, according to the Energy Information Administration.

The company that operated that train, Montreal, Maine & Atlantic Railway Ltd., filed for bankruptcy protection Wednesday in US Bankruptcy Court in Bangor, Maine. Its Canadian counterpart filed for protection from creditors.

The latest FRA action "looks like a shot over the bow," said Grady Cothen, a former FRA safety official who is now a transportation-policy consultant. "They seem to be saying, "Get your house in order or we'll do it for you.'" http://www.hydrocarbonprocessing.com/Article/3241318/Latest-News/US-officials-tighten-crude-by-rail-shipping-rules.html
~~~~~
Rasmussen Reports - - 2016 Will Not Feature Christie vs. Clinton By Scott Rasmussen

One of the sure signs that political activists have too much time on their hands is all the chatter about who will win the 2016 presidential nominations.

http://www.rasmussenreports.com/public_content/political_commentary/commentary_by_scott_rasmussen/2016_will_not_feature_christie_vs_clinton
In this 50-50 nation, Americans remain closely divided over whether government is the problem or the solution. Read More
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57% Are Less Likely To Vote for A Candidate Caught in a Sex Scandal

Most voters say the rise of social media and increased electronic communication are causing more politicians to get caught misbehaving, and it's costing those politicians their vote. Read More
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60% Think Muslims Are Not Treated Unfairly in America

Many Americans are suspicious of Muslims in this country, but most continue to believe that American Muslims are not treated unfairly here.
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61% Favor Raising Minimum Wage to $10.10 An Hour

Most Americans don't think it's possible to live on the current minimum wage of $7.25 an hour and favor raising it dramatically. They also believe the minimum wage should continue to rise to keep up with inflation even though they don't necessarily see that as good for the economy. Read More
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61% Expect Health Care in U.S. To Get Worse Over Next Two Years

Voters continue to give high marks to the health care they now receive but are more pessimistic than ever about the short-term future of the health care system in this country.
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62% Would Feel Safer If Their Child Attended A School With An Armed Guard

Arkansas' state attorney general last week limited the ability of local school districts to have armed guards. But most Americans with school-age children continue to say they would feel safer if their child attended a school with an armed guard and think the decision to put armed guards in the schools should be made by local government officials.
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74% Rarely or Never Use Mass Transit

Most Americas seldom, if ever use mass transit, but they still tend to believe the government should back mass transit projects as long as they don't lose money. Read More
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74% Oppose Making Minimum Wage Different for Different Age Groups

Americans recognize that more minimum-wage fast-food jobs are now being held by workers who are over 20, but while they favor raising the minimum wage, they don't think that wage should be even higher for those who are older. Read More
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75% Favor Buying Health Insurance Across State Lines

Most voters still don't like President Obama's national health care law, and more voters than ever favor buying health insurance across state lines to increase consumer options.
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To find out more about Scott Rasmussen, and read features by other Creators writers and cartoonists, visit www.creators.com.
COPYRIGHT 2013 - - SCOTT RASMUSSEN - - DISTRIBUTED BY CREATORS.COM
See Other Political Commentaries. http://www.rasmussenreports.com/public_content/political_commentary
See Other Commentaries by Scott Rasmussen. http://www.rasmussenreports.com/public_content/political_commentary/commentary_by_scott_rasmussen
~~~~~
From Car Talk

This week we learned that teens are driving less: According to AAA, only 44 percent of teenagers are getting their license the first year they could, and only 54 percent have licenses before turning 18.

Do you know the primary reason teenagers don’t have driver’s licenses? According to a University of Michigan study released this week, 26.9 percent say they’re “too busy” and “don’t have enough time.” What, not enough time to get the keys to the kingdom, a card that used to be a rite of passage for all 16-year-olds? I would have walked through hot coals.
http://www.cartalk.com/content/teens-give-reasons-aka-excuses-not-getting-drivers-licenses

Our own Jim Hannah makes the case that iPads can also provide freedom, escape (and expense!) just like cars did for us as teens.
http://www.cartalk.com/content/old-cars-and-ipads
~~~~~
The latest from Michael Yon, the foremost “milnews” blogger on the web.
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Greetings,

Please see this http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/the-bomb-boys-book-project, and take action.
Thank you.
~
While searching for Kopp-Etchells images, I stumbled across a trove of old combat video already forgotten.
One clip of many http://www.michaelyon-online.com/forgotten-combat-video-from-afghanistan.htm.
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Please donate https://www.michaelyon-online.com/component/com_jdonation/Itemid,117/view,donation/ to keep my work alive.
~
Please see this brief interview http://www.michaelyon-online.com/helicopter-halo-effect-named-for-two-fallen-heroes.htm. (Slight correction: Unfortunately, I never actually met Ben.
~
Three more articles came out this week. All three honored Benjamin Kopp and Joseph Etchells, an American Ranger and a British Soldier, both killed in Afghanistan combat.

The third story came out today in the Daily Mail https://mail.google.com/mail/u/0/?shva=1#search/Michael+Yon/14020ecaf52154f8 in the UK.

Very Respectfully,
Michael Yon
Your Writer,

Please remember that this website accepts no advertisement and is dependent on your support.

PS Please sign up for my Twitter.com updates at "Michael_Yon" [http://twitter.com/Michael_Yon] (not Michael Yon).

http://www.facebook.com/#/MichaelYonFanPage?ref=sgm
~
www.michaelyon-online.com
~
Http://www.michaelyon_online.com/index.php
~~~~~
If you would like to encourage US Troops overseas, but are not sure just how to begin, visit www.anysoldier.com for ideas.
~~~~~
5 Things New Veterans Expect From All Political Candidates


1. Defend the New GI Bill
2. Employ the New Greatest Generation
3. Prevent suicide among troops and veterans
4. Build a truly 21st Century VA
5. Improve Care for Female Veterans


http://iava.org/blog/5-things-new-veterans-expect-all-candidates-2012
~~~~~
Please remember ... America is not at war. The U.S. Military is at war. America is at the MALL.
~~~~~
THOUGHT THIS WAS GOOD. CORRINE

"Remember the past, plan for the future, but live for today, because yesterday is gone and tomorrow may never come"

Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of the Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio .

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most requested column I've ever written.

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short – enjoy it.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye, but don't worry, God never blinks.

16.. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful. Clutter weighs you down in many ways.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19.. It's never too late to be happy. But it’s all up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, and wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative of dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have, not what you need

42. The best is yet to come...

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."
~
Friends are the family that we choose.
~
Just living is not enough... one must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower. ~Hans Christian Andersen
~
Thanks to Corinne Reagan
~~~~~
Representative Tom Cotton (R_ AR) has announced that he is challenging Senator Mark Pryor (D_ AR) for Pryor’s Senate Seat. http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2013/08/09/tom-cotton-s-run-for-senate-in-arkansas-makes-him-the-new-gop-darling.html

I’m hoping that Republican Beth Anne Rankin (a businesswoman, entrepreneur, teacher and former Miss Arkansas) will run. She would be an outstanding representative for any district. But she hasn’t “yet” announced and Lt. Gov. Mark Darr has moved to Mansfield in the 4th Congressional District in preparation to announcing for his expected bid for the seat being vacated by Rep. Tom Cotton, R-Ark.

Darr, a Republican, has said any criticism about him being a newcomer to the 4th District could be countered by his pointing out that the residents there — and the entire state — are already his constituents as lieutenant governor.

In addition to Darr, state Rep. Bruce Westerman, R-Hot Springs, is expected to enter the race along with
Hot Springs Democrat, Janis Percefull, who is already is vying for the seat.
~~~~~
As featured on www.dLife.com

Starting a Walking Program

For a healthier, happier lifestyle, try walking — the most popular form of exercise.

It's easy, safe, and inexpensive. It's also relaxing and at the same time invigorating, requires little athletic skill, and does not call for club membership or special equipment other than sturdy, comfortable shoes. And it is fun and natural — good for your mind and self-esteem.

http://www.dlife.com/diabetes/information/slide_show_pdf_files/new_pdfs/Start_a_Walking_Program.pdf
~~~~~
Another diabetes vitamin deficiency?

Metformin and Vitamin B12 Deficiency. Do you take metformin? Has your doctor ever tested your levels of vitamin B12?

Research has shown that metformin use can increase the risk of B-12 deficiency in patients taking insulin. It's not a simple matter of self treatment, however — before starting a supplement regimen, ask your doctor to test your vitamin B levels.

In one study, 390 participants, all of whom had diabetes, were divided into two groups: half were given 850mg of metformin three times a day for an average of 4.3 years, and the other half of the participants were given a placebo (a pill that looked the same but was inactive). B12 levels were recorded every 13 months. Researchers found that B12 levels in those taking metformin were 19 percent lower than those taking the placebo.

Low levels of vitamin B12 can cause fatigue and anemia, which can compound the difficulty of diabetes management. Symptoms or not, however, if you take metformin, ask your doctor for a test.
~
http://www.dlife.com/ dLife • P.O. Box 8830 • Westport, CT 06888
~~~~~
New York Breakfast

2005, Ellie Krieger, All Rights Reserved
--
Serves: 4 (2 piece) servings

Ingredients

8 pieces packaged, thin pumpernickel bread (3 1/2 by 3 1/2 inches))
1/4 cup whipped cream cheese
8 ounces thinly sliced smoked salmon
1/2 red onion, thinly sliced
1/4 English cucumber, thinly sliced
2 medium tomatoes, core, seeded and diced
2 teaspoons chopped, fresh chives
Salt and pepper

Directions

Toast the bread and spread 1 1/2 teaspoons of cream cheese on top of each piece. Put a slice of smoked salmon, a couple of slices of onion, one or 2 slices of cucumber, and about 1 tablespoon of chopped tomato on top of that. Sprinkle with chives and season with salt and pepper.
Copyright 2013 Television Food Network G.P.

Read more at: http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/cda/recipe_print/0,1946,FOOD_9936_33588_RECIPE-PRINT-FULL-PAGE-FORMATTER,00.html?oc=linkback
~~~~~
Favorite Quotes:

The more I learn about people, the better I like my dog. - Mark Twain
~
Don't go through life, grow through life. ~ Eric Butterworth via Ron Hazelton
~
Teaching: The only profession where you steal things from home and bring them to work.
~
It does not matter how slowly you go ... so long as you do not stop.
~
Science Fact: If you took all of the veins from your body and laid them end to end, you would die.
~
I don't know what your destiny will be, but one thing I do know: The ones among you who will really be happy are those that have sought and found how to serve. ~ Albert Schweitzer via Ron Hazelton
~~~~~
The following wisdom is shared by our friends and family.
~
Martha Chapman
Irony is when someone writes "Your an idiot".
~
Steve Ford (writing from Kids Church Camp.)
Hey here's something HILARIOUS to do! After the counselors call lights out, wait a bit until it gets quiet. Then make the sound of really loud flatulence. Everyone will roar with laughter, guaranteed! —
~
Amanda Bowen Franks
If you don't change your thoughts, you cannot change your actions!
~
Nancee Davis Law

Sometimes I wake up grouchy, other times I let him sleep. lol

You have to live with the choices you make so make sure you can sleep in the bed you make.

Be content where God has placed you

I've got a Great- Big- Wonderful God

Chocolate makes everything better.

Sometimes God's blessings are not in what He gives, but in what He takes away. Stop trying to pick up what God told you to put down.

When you call on Jesus, ALL things are possible!

God knows all my needs before I even ask

The Battle you are going through may be hard but God knows what He is doing and He is good at what He does!
Trust in Him and He will bring you through!

In Jesus you have a hiding place where trouble cannot find you

I'm No Longer Defined by the Wreckage Behind Me.

Sunday is a day of rest so climb up in The Father's lap and rest in His unfailing Love.

Your tongue is a powerful tool. You can either build up others or tear them down.

Hello My Name IS.........Child of the One True God
~
Robert Lyons
Finally found a place in the kitchen I can stand and not be in my wife's way. In front of the stove.
~
Jimmy Malone
Be careful not to trust your high-dollar education over years of experience actually doing the job.
Knowledge puffs up, but love edifies. (I Corinthians 8:1 NKJV)
~
Felicia Katrice Manning
Jesus Loves You. We have to repent and forgive each other and ask God to increase in our lives and submit to Him. We can't wait. Today is the day. Now is the time.
~
Bobbie McClellan
The elevator to success is out of order. You'll have to use the stairs. ... One step at a time. - - Unknown.
~
Dustin McClellan
Had a great 5 days on a mission trip to Oklahoma. It was my first and won’t be my last.
~
Gavin Morgan
My biggest fear is MJ selling my guns after my death ... for what I told her they cost.
~
Norma Kay Rowe
Just read this on a church sign in Bloomburg Tx: Confess your own sins, not your neighbors!!!!!!
~
Dalicia Torrence

•Why Not give everything to God and trust in Him?
•Why Not go tell someone about Gods love? The love that he's unconditionally given to his Kids.
•Why Not choose to lay down your pride and allow God to love through you?

It's not about perfection. It's about Obedience! :D

Jesus has fallen in Love with You!! Allow love to flow and start a Holy Ghost ROIT!!!
~~~~~
Participants urged to sign up for diabetes workshop

The Area Agency on Aging will host a diabetes self-management workshop this fall, and participants are encouraged to sign up.

Living with diabetes can be challenging. Constantly checking blood sugar levels, eating the right foods, exercising, taking medication, and visiting a health care provider regularly can feel overwhelming. However, there are other ways to stay healthy.

Stanford University trained facilitators will lead a two-hour workshop that meets once a week for six weeks. They will offer tips and tools to help a person with monitoring blood sugar levels, food, medication and exercise, and even plan a weekly menu. Participants will be able to discuss problems they are facing with other participants, and find solutions together.

The workshop is designed for people with Type 2 diabetes, but people with Type 1 may also find it helpful. All of the information provided meets the American Diabetes Association and the American Association of Diabetes Educators guidelines for diabetes self-management education.

For more information about the workshop or to sign up, call the Area Agency on Aging at (870) 234-7410 or toll-free, 800-272-2127, and enter Extension 105 for Nancy Bailey, or Extension 116 for Deloris Biddle.
~~~~~
AskBob - - Bob Rankin - - Time to Replace Your Power Supply?

A reader says: 'The fan inside my computer's power supply has started making an awful noise, and I'm afraid it's ready to bite the dust. Is it difficult to replace a power supply?' The good news is NO! Read on to find out if your power supply should be replaced...
http://askbobrankin.com/time_to_replace_your_power_supply.html?awt_l=HZr.N&awt_m=JmBIDe3x78P6SL
~~~~~
Terry’s Computer Tips Newsletter - July 28, 2013

New Study on Lithium Battery Dangers, Firefox as an Alternative to Adobe Reader
See these articles (as well as many other timely quality stories) at http://www.terryscomputertips.com/

Not a TCT subscriber? Sign up to get future issues delivered straight to you: http://www.terryscomputertips.com/subscribe/
~~~~~
ACC SmartBrief - - Dow executive: West, Texas, fertilizer plant an "outlier site"

The West, Texas, chemical facility involved in an accident earlier this year was an "outlier site," said Timothy Scott, chief security officer at Dow Chemical. The facility wasn't active in an industry group, nor did it join contingency-planning activities, Scott said. "There are regulations in place at both the state and federal levels that require the submission of data relative to chemicals of interest and quantities on site that would have identified this facility as a potentially high-risk site. Compliance and enforcement of these existing regulations is needed," Scott said, adding that Dow and the American Chemistry Council have already called for compliance measures to address shortcomings. Oil & Gas Journal [http://www.ogj.com/articles/2013/08/obama-orders-formation-of-interagency-chemical-safety-working-group.html] (8/2), The Dallas Morning News (http://www.dallasnews.com/news/west-explosion/headlines/20130803-obama-order-in-wake-of-west-blast-a-game-changer-in-chemical-safety-senator-says.ece) (8/4)
~~~~~
dLife Foodstuff - - Prep for Natural Disasters
In the event of any emergency, do you know what to do? As in the case of any unexpected event, good preparation is half the battle. For people with diabetes, this means not only protecting your home in the event of disaster, but also protecting your health.

http://www.dlife.com/diabetes/information/slide_show_pdf_files/prep_for_natural_disasters.pdf
~~~~~
DarynKagan.com - - Burglars Return Stolen Computers To Charity - Even included handwritten apology note!

I have for you today burglars with a conscience, a 300 lb. baby, and happy brothers and sisters.

Enjoy!
-Daryn.

Burglars Return Stolen Computers To Charity #With Apology!
http://darynkagan.com/Charity.html

Baby Elephant Delights In Kiddie Pool #Adorable!
http://darynkagan.com/DarynKagan.com_Animals.html

Siblings Reunite At Wonderful Camp
http://darynkagan.com/DarynKagan.com_Animals.html

Know anyone who would love to get this newsletter and brighten their day? Sign them up here.

Copyright © *|2013* *|Journeyist, Inc.|*, All rights reserved.
Daryn's Upbeat Stories! Daryn@darynkagan.com
~~~~~
http://www.shelfari.com
http://www.shelfari.com/bugsbleat/shelf
~~~~~

For the latest issue of "Da Bleat.", go to http://www.bugsbleat.blogspot.com.
Our photos are posted at http://www.bugsbleatphotos.blogspot.com.
~~~~~
Photos on the front of this week’s “Bleat” include - - Janna, Annette, Shirley and Mechelle, our Missouri Folks sing at the Mission Church, The Incredibly Gifted Wife of My Youth and Bug, Dustin, Annette Studying, and worshiping, the Mission Church sign, Pastor Jimmy prepares to baptize "Da Boys" and several other baby Christians.
~~~~~
Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
~~~~~
Break Point - - Supersized Weddings
Here Comes the Bride (Bill)
By: Eric Metaxas|Published: August 9, 2013

If you’re engaged -- or one of your kids is -- you know how expensive weddings are. What’s going on?

Two years ago, England's Prince William and Kate Middleton—who just became parents, in case you hadn't heard--were wed in a ceremony that cost around thirty million dollars. That might sound like a lot, but when you consider the cost per person attending—including some two billion anglophiles who watched on TV—it comes to less than a penny per person.

Which would make the royal nuptials--yep--a “budget” wedding.

If only American brides and grooms could be so frugal. I just read an article on National Review Online titled “The Blight of Blinged-Out Weddings.” The author, Jillian Kay Melchior, writes that she tried to plan a simple ceremony in which to plight her troth, but found this practically impossible—unless she eloped or “really [bucked] all traditions.”

Sadly, she's correct. One moment of weakness, and you'll find yourself sucked into the spinning, satin-lined vortex of the wedding industrial complex. It's not as bad as sharks falling from the sky, but it sure comes close.

Unfortunately, “Recklessly extravagant weddings have become a cultural expectation,” Melchior adds, and “brides who succumb to the intense pressure to Go Bigger can easily find themselves focused more on planning a wedding than preparing for a marriage.”

How much bigger? Melchior quotes a study done by WeddingChannel.com, which found that the average bride spends more than $28,000 on her wedding, not including the honeymoon!

Why do so many couples spend a third of their joint annual pre-tax income on a one-day ceremony? It's “because [brides] know they're being watched” Melchior says, and believe the “average guest comes to rate the spectacle as much as to celebrate the sacrament.”

How sad is that? And as for those hundreds of hours brides spend planning the wedding of the century—those hours could be better spent cementing the couple's relationship.

There may be a deeper reason so many brides and grooms choose the style of a wedding over the substance of solid marriage preparation—why they put themselves into debt for the food, the flowers, the bridesmaids and the bling—all topped off by a Vera Wang dress.

My old friend Chuck Colson put it this way in a BreakPoint commentary a few years ago. “Scripture,” he said, “tells us that God designed marriage as a physical, emotional, and spiritual union of one man and one woman—a union marked by fidelity and permanence. It's a definition of marriage the secular world has spent the better part of forty years trying to deconstruct.

“But when secular couples plan their weddings,” Chuck said, “they sense that something is missing. So they grasp at some sort of meaning—ironically, using the very symbols and rituals”—the white dress, the father giving away the bride—“whose meanings they have rejected.”

The lack of deeper meaning may be why so many weddings have a slightly hollow ring to them—even if your name isn't Kardashian.

Chuck quoted social critic Caitlin Flanagan, who suggests that a bride's “white gown andNewsletter_Gen_180x180_B her flock of flower-bearing attendants” may be little more than a “frantic and terribly expensive effort to infuse a wedding with some small measure of the meaning it once had.”

But folks, it doesn't have to be that way. If you or your loved ones are more interested in planning a sacred ceremony than a bling-fest, contact Marriage Savers. We have their info at BreakPoint.org. They’ll help you fend off the wedding industry sharks, and organize the most important part of your nuptials: planning for a lasting and happy marriage.

Your church can help engaged couples prepare for a healthy, holy, happy marriage. Please check out Marriage Savers. - -
~
Further Reading and Information

Supersized Weddings: Here Comes the Bride Bill - Next Steps

While witnessing the redefinition of marriage into nothingness, Americans are spending ever-increasing amounts on the trappings of a bling-filled wedding day event.

Contrary to this secular trend, it is vital that couples understand what holy matrimony really means.

Along with other resources, we’ve listed a few organization websites, such as Marriage Savers, that are designed to help couples plan for what comes AFTER the wedding day—a marriage that lasts a lifetime.
~
Websites:

The Ruth Institute
http://www.ruthinstitute.org/

National Organization for Marriage
http://www.nationformarriage.org/

Marriage Savers
http://www.marriagesavers.org/sitems/index.htm
~
Articles:

The Blight of Blinged-out Weddings
Jillian Kay Melchior | National Review | July 6, 2013
http://www.nationalreview.com/article/352742/blight-blinged-out-weddings-jillian-kay-melchior

Plighting Their Troth? Or Whatever
Chuck Colson | BreakPoint.org | September 21, 2006
http://www.breakpoint.org/bpcommentaries/breakpoint-commentaries-search/entry/13/10890

The Trouble with Weddings
Roberto Rivera | Touchstone | May 2003
http://www.touchstonemag.com/archives/article.php?id=16-04-017-v
~
Copyright © 2013 Colson Center. All Rights Reserved
~~~~~
Residents of Columbia County, Arkansas are represented in Congress by:
~
Senator John Boozman (R_ AR)
1 Russell Courtyard
Washington DC, 20510
Phone: 202-224-4843
http://boozman.senate.gov/
~
Senator Mark Pryor (D_ AR)
Phone 202_224_2353
FAX 202_228_0908
http://pryor.senate.gov/
~
Representative Tom Cotton (R )
Phone 202_225_3772
FAX 202_225_1314
http://cotton.house.gov/

Other states congresspersons can be found at: [http://www.visi.com/juan/congress/]
~~~~~
THOUGHT OF THE DAY:

"There are two kinds of light -- the glow that illuminates, and the glare that obscures." - James Thurber

"You will do foolish things, but do them with enthusiasm." - Sidonie-Gabrielle Colette

"There may be times when we are powerless to prevent injustice, but there must never be a time when we fail to protest." - Elie Wiesel

"All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another." - Anatole France

"A chief is a man who assumes responsibility. He says 'I was beaten,' he does not say 'My men were beaten'. " - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

"What is the meaning of life? To be happy and useful." - Tenzin Gyatso

"You don't lead by pointing and telling people some place to go. You lead by going to that place and making a case." - Ken Kesey

"We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done." - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

"Always dream and shoot higher than you know you can do. Do not bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself." - William Faulkner

"It is as impossible to withhold education from the receptive mind, as it is impossible to force it upon the unreasoning." - Agnes Repplier

"Dreams pass into the reality of action. From the action stems the dream again; and this interdependence produces the highest form of living." - Anais Nin

"Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change." - Stephen Hawking

"A smiling face is half the meal." - Latvian proverb

"The man who can speak acceptably is usually given credit for an ability out of all proportion to what he really possesses." - Lowell Thomas

"Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable." - L. Frank Baum

"There's no way to rule innocent men. The only power any government has is the power to crack down on criminals. Well, when there aren't enough criminals, one makes them. One declares so many things to be a crime that it becomes impossible for men to live without breaking laws." - Ayn Rand

"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away." - Phillip K. Dick

"If you can't write your idea on the back of my calling card, you don't have a clear idea." - David Belasco

"Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe." - Abraham Lincoln

"Not in the clamor of the crowded street, not in the shouts and plaudits of the throng, but in ourselves, are triumph and defeat." - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Admiration is a very short-lived passion that immediately decays upon growing familiar with its object; unless it be still fed with fresh discoveries, and kept alive by a perpetual succession of miracles rising into view." - Joseph Addison
~~~~~
Breaking Christian News

Surprise: White House Backs Prayer at Local Government Meetings
Teresa Neumann (Aug 9, 2013)

The Supreme Court case filing by the White House was a "surprisingly conservative brief and it came as a pleasant surprise. It's gratifying that even the Obama administration recognizes that the courts are not qualified to censor prayers." -Ken Klukowski, Family Research Council

http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=12251

editor@breakingchristiannews.com
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
GCF: House Cleaning

If this was forwarded to you, please consider your own subscription to Good Clean Fun. It's free! Just send an email to: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
_ _______________________________ _

I recently ran into the woman who used to clean our house, and was surprised to hear that she was still at it, despite her advanced age.

"How do you manage it?" I asked.

She explained her secret: "I only have clients who can't see the dirt any better than I can."
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Prescription Bottle

A pharmacist is going over the directions on a prescription bottle with an elderly patient.

"Be sure not to take this more often than every 4 hours," warned the pharmacist.

"Don't worry," replied the patient. "It takes me 4 hours to get the lid off!"
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Barber Shop

The balding middle-aged man asked his barber, "Why do I have to pay full price for a haircut -- there's so little of it."

"Well," said the barber, "actually I only charge a little for cutting it. What you're paying for mostly is my time searching for it."
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Wedding Ring

After many years, her original wedding ring had become worn and thin, so she asked her husband to buy her a new ring as her anniversary present. But this time she asked him to buy her one with diamonds.

They went down to the jewelry store to pick one out. As they waited for the clerk, she said to her husband, "My eyes aren't as good as they used to be, so I'd really like diamonds I can see."

Having overheard their conversation, a customer standing nearby remarked, "Sir, it would be cheaper if you bought her glasses."
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: University DJ

Sam was a student DJ at the local university radio station. During one shift, he ran through his material faster than expected. He asked listeners for requests, but no one phoned.

So Sam played a few more wild hard-rock numbers and asked for calls after each one, but still no response.

Finally he got serious with his audience. "Okay," he said, "if I don't get any requests, I'll play something my parents would like."

The phone rang immediately.
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Last Name

Sczyelski, my last name, is a mouthful, so I was thrilled when my three-year-old niece learned to spell it.

That is until my cousin said, "You can spell it any way you like; who'll know if it's wrong?"
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Taking You Out

My friend's wife returned from a tour of duty in the Middle East. To celebrate, he decided to take her out for a night on the town. Proud of her service record, he suggested she wear her uniform.

Not only did a patriotic taxi driver refuse to accept money from them, but an appreciative citizen paid for her meal at the restaurant, and the theater manager upgraded their balcony seats to the orchestra.

At the end of the evening, my friend turned to his wife. "I still get credit for taking you out, right?"
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Just Like Mommy

A two and a half year old walked into the bathroom while her mother was putting on make-up. "I'm going to look just like you mommy!" she announced.

"Maybe, when you grow up," her mother told her.

"No mommy, tomorrow. I just put on that 'Oil of Old Lady' you always use."
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Mother's Day Gift

The young mother loved the picture frame her five-year-old son bought her for Mother's Day.

She found a photograph of him and replaced the cat photo that came with the frame.

He became upset: "Why are you putting a picture of me in there when I bought you a picture of a cat?"
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Hearing Aids

During a medical assessment before moving into a retirement home, a nurse asked my grandparents, "Do you need hearing aids?"

"Yes," my grandmother answered. "But he doesn't like his, never wears it and leaves it at home."

Then she added, "I always carry mine in my purse."
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Big Birthday

My mother-in-law asked her granddaughter if she was excited about her upcoming birthday.

"Yes," the granddaughter gravely replied, "it's a big birthday. I've waited my whole life to be five."
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: New Trend

There is a strange new trend in our office ... putting names on the food in the company refrigerator.

Today I had a tuna sandwich named Kevin.
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: How Long Have You Been Married?

When a woman on the staff of the school where I worked became engaged, a friend and colleague offered her some advice.

"The first ten years are the hardest."

"How long have you been married?" she asked.

"Ten years", he replied.
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Traffic Stop

Returning home from a restaurant, two friends and I were stopped by a police officer. As the driver handed his license and registration over, he asked the officer if he had been speeding.

"You were doing just under 60 in a 50 zone, but I'm not going to give you a ticket," the officer said.

We were puzzled when he asked my friend to open the trunk, and more puzzled when he asked him to go around to the back of the car with him.

"I've got a burnt out taillight," the officer stated.

"Oh, no! Not again!" he exclaimed. "I just replaced one a few weeks ago."

"No, no," the officer corrected. "I've got a burnt out taillight on a car exactly the same as this, and I was wondering if you'd show me how to change it."
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Mass Hysteria

A professor of clinical psychology at Victoria University in Wellington, New Zealand, included a lecture on crowd psychology in his annual course. To illustrate mass hysteria, he regularly showed TV news footage of teenage crowds greeting the Beatles at the local airport in the 1960's.

One year, when he ran the footage, he heard squeals and bursts of laughter from his students. When the film ended he asked what had caused the hilarity.

Replied one student, "We recognized some of our mothers!"

|_____________________|
Imagine if birds were
tickled by feathers...
|_____________________|
Everywhere is within walking
distance if you have the time.
|_____________________|
It's bad luck
to be superstitious.
|_____________________|
What is a "free" gift?
Aren't all gifts free?
|_____________________|
Knocked; you weren't in.
-- Opportunity
|_____________________|
One must wait until evening
to see how splendid
the day has been.
|_____________________|
I went to a general store
but they wouldn't let me
buy anything specific.
--Steven Wright
|_____________________|
Conscience is what hurts
when everything else feels good.
|_____________________|
Summer is the time when
it is too hot to do
the jobs it was too cold
to do in winter.
|_____________________|
For every action
there is an equal
and opposite criticism.
|_____________________|
Which came first --
the chicken, or the various
things that taste like chicken?
|_____________________|
If a cow laughed,
would milk come out her nose?
|_____________________|
Light travels faster than sound.
This is why some people appear
bright until you hear them speak.
|_____________________|
If the shoe fits,
buy another one just like it.
|_____________________|
A synonym is a word you use
in place of one you can't spell.
_ _______________________________ _
Thomas S. Ellsworth
tellswor@slonet.org
http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor

If this was forwarded to you, please consider your own subscription to Good Clean Fun. It's free! Just send an email to: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
THE PERFECT HUSBAND

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cellular phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello"

WOMAN: "Hi Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"

MAN: "Yes."

WOMAN: "I'm at the shops now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $2,000; is it OK if I buy it?"

MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."

WOMAN:"I also stopped by the Lexus dealership and saw the new models. I saw one I really liked."

MAN: "How much?"

WOMAN: "$90,000." ;

MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."

WOMAN:"Great! Oh, and one more thing... I was just talking to Janie and found out that the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $980,000 for it."

MAN: "Well, then go ahead and make an offer of $900,000. They'll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra eighty-thousand if it's what you really want."

WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!"

MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open.

He turns and asks, "Anyone know whose phone this is?"
~
Thanks to Joe
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Love is grand!

Divorce is a hundred grand.
*
I am in shape.

Round is a shape.
*
Time may be a great healer,

But it's a lousy beautician.
*
Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
*
Even if you are on the right track,

You'll get run over if you just sit there.
*
An optimist thinks this is the best possible world.

A pessimist fears this is true.
*
There will always be death and taxes;

However, death doesn't get worse every year.
*
In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.
*
I am NOT over weight

I am a nutritional overachiever.
*
A day without sunshine is like night.
*
It's frustrating when you know all the answers,

But nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
*
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time,

but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
*
Brain cells come and brain cells go,

But fat cells live forever.
*
Age doesn't always bring wisdom.

Sometimes it comes alone.
*
Life not only begins at forty,

It also begins to show.
*
I smile because I am your friend!

I laugh because there is nothing you can do about it.
~
C'ya Later, Waneta
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
How to Write Good

The first set of rules was written by Frank L. Visco and published in the June 1986 issue of Writers' digest.

My several years in the word game have learnt me several rules:

Avoid Alliteration. Always.
Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
Avoid cliches like the plague. (They’re old hat.)
Employ the vernacular.
Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
Contractions aren’t necessary.
Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
One should never generalize.
Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."

Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
Don’t be redundant; don’t use more words than necessary; its highly superfluous.
Profanity sucks.
Be more or less specific.
Understatement is always best.
Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
One word sentences? Eliminate.
Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
The passive voice is to be avoided.
Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
Who needs rhetorical questions?
~

The second set of rules is derived from William Safire's Rules for Writers.

Parenthetical words however must be enclosed in commas.
It behooves you to avoid archaic expressions.
Avoid archaeic spellings too.
Don't repeat yourself, or say again what you have said before.
Don't use commas, that, are not, necessary.
Do not use hyperbole; not one in a million can do it effectively.
Never use a big word when a diminutive alternative would suffice.
Subject and verb always has to agree.
Placing a comma between subject and predicate, is not correct.
Use youre spell chekker to avoid mispeling and to catch typograhpical errers.
Don't repeat yourself, or say again what you have said before.
Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.
Don't never use no double negatives.
Poofread carefully to see if you any words out.
Hopefully, you will use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.

Eschew obfuscation.
No sentence fragments.
Don't indulge in sesquipedalian lexicological constructions.
A writer must not shift your point of view.
Don't overuse exclamation marks!!
Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more words, to their antecedents.
Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.
If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.
Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing.
Always pick on the correct idiom.
The adverb always follows the verb.
Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.
If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal of repetition can be by rereading and editing.
And always be sure to finish what

Thanks to Waneta
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Preacher's Son

An old country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting high time the boy gave some thought to choosing a profession. Like many young men his age, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do, and he didn't seem too concerned about it.

One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment. He went into the boy's room and placed on his study table four objects:

1. A Bible,

2. A silver dollar,

3. A bottle of whiskey,

4. And a Playboy magazine.

"I'll just hide behind the door," the old preacher said to himself, "and when he comes home from school, I'll see which object he picks up. If it's the Bible, he's going to be a preacher like me, and what a blessing that would be! If he picks up the dollar, he's going to be a business man, and that would be okay, too. But if he picks up the bottle, he's going to be a no-good drunken bum, and Lord, what a shame that would be. And worst of all, if he picks up that magazine, he's going to be a skirt-chasing womanizer."

The old man waited anxiously and soon heard his son's footsteps as he entered the house whistling and headed for his room. The boy tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave the room, he spotted the objects on the table. He walked over to inspect them, looking at each for several minutes. Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm. He picked up the silver dollar and dropped into his pocket. He uncorked the bottle and took a big drink, while he admired this month's centerfold.

"Lord have mercy!" the old preacher prayed. "He's going into politics!!"

Received from Sanderson, Steven C.

(_:][:_)

Why Do I Like Retirement?

How many days in a week?
6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday.

When is a retiree's bedtime?
3 hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

Why don't retirees mind being called seniors?
It comes with a 10% discount!

Among retirees, what is considered formal attire?
Tied shoes.

How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Only one, bit it may take all day.

What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
NUTS!

What do retirees call a long lunch?
Normal.

What is the best way to describe retirement?
The never-ending coffee break.

Who do retirees count pennies?
They're the only ones who have the time!

Received from John Price.

(_:][:_)

Knight Riddle

Q: What do you call a knight who is afraid to fight?

A: Sir Render.

Received from Becky Day.

(_:][:_)

Pole

My mother was holding on to a pole while riding a bus.
She noticed that a young man, who was holding on to the same pole, was staring at her. Eventually he said, "Excuse me. This is my stop."

Since she wasn't blocking his way, she was confused. "Well," she said, "go ahead."

"And this is my pole," he said.

My mother was completely perplexed until the young man added, "I just bought it at the hardware store to hold up my shower curtain."

And with that, he picked up his pole and carried it off the bus.

Received from Doc's Daily Chuckle.

(_:][:_)

Peach Brandy

A Baptist preacher went to visit a member of the community and invited him to come to church Sunday morning.

It seems that this man was a producer of fine peach brandy. He told the preacher that he would attend his church IF the pastor would drink some of his brandy and admit doing so in front of his congregation. The preacher agreed and drank up.

Sunday morning, the man visited the church. The preacher recognized the man from the pulpit and said, "I see Mr. Johnson is here with us this morning. I want to thank him publicly for his hospitality this week and especially for the peaches he gave me and the spirit in which they were given."

Received from ArcaMax Jokes.

(_:][:_)

Soup

When a waitress in a New York City restaurant brought an Englishman the soup of the day, he was a bit dismayed.

"Good heavens," he said, "what is this?"

"It's bean soup," she replied.

"I don't care what it's been," he replied. "What is it now?"

Received from Steve Sanderson.

(_:][:_)

Murphy's Laws of Law Enforcement

New uniforms and ties attract catsup and gravy.

You will never get the urge to use the bathroom until you have left the station.

Surprise inspections will only occur after you have been in a foot pursuit through mud.

The mayor will get a traffic ticket the day before your department negotiates for a salary increase.

The bigger they are, the harder they fall. Also the harder they punch, kick, and choke.

Never search a dark warehouse with a cop whose nickname is "Boom-Boom."

Pens never leak onto old uniform shirts.

To err is human, to forgive is against department policy.

Shatterproof flashlights seldom are.

If you park your patrol car in the exact center of the Gobi
desert, within 5 minutes someone will pull up and ask for directions.

Glow in the dark sights are just as visible to you as they are to the crook hiding behind you.

Wearing white socks makes boot zippers break.

Coffee jitters will never bother you until firearm qualification day.

Flashlight batteries never die in the daylight hours.

Your mouthiest traffic violator will be related to the sheriff.

If the crooks are within pistol range, so are you.

The speed with which you respond to a fight in progress is inversely proportional to how long you have been an officer.

Perfect 10's only show up to talk when you are busy.

Bullet proof vests might be.

Old squad cars never die -- they just smell that way.

Received from You Make Me Laugh.

(_:][:_)

WOULD YOU LIKE TO JOIN ...

The Yoko club?
Oh no.

The German philosophy club?
I. Kant.

The Ford-Nixon club?
Pardon me?

The Arafat club?
Yessir.

The Ebert movie club?
Roger.

The Groucho Marx club?
You bet your life.

The Peter Pan club?
Never. Never.

The Japanese theater club?
Noh.

The quarterback club?
I'll pass.

The compulsive rhymers club?
Okey-dokey.

The Spanish optometrists club?
Si.

The anti-perspirant club?
Sure.

The procrastinators club?
Maybe next week.

The Self-Esteem Builders?
No - they probably would not accept me anyway.

The Agoraphobics Society?
Only if they meet at my house.

The Co-Dependence Club?
Can I bring a friend?

The Prayer Group?
God willing!

Received from Stan Kegel.

(_:][:_)

Wake Up!

The teacher is droning away in the classroom when he notices a student sleeping way up in the back row. The teacher shouts to the sleeping student's neighbor, "Hey, wake that student up!"

The neighbor yells back, "You put him to sleep -- you wake him up!"

Received from ArcaMax Jokes.

(_:][:_)

Fall Out!

As we stood in formation at the Pensacola Naval Air Station, our Flight Instructor said, "All right! All you dummies fall out."

As the rest of the squad wandered away, I remained at attention.

The instructor walked over until he was eye-to-eye with me, and then just raised a single eyebrow. I smiled and said, "Sure was a lot of 'em, huh sir?"

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

(_:][:_)

Stork

On his first visit to the zoo, a little boy stared at the
caged stork for a long time. He waved, jumped up and down, and stared at the stork a while longer.

Finally, turning to his father, he exclaimed, "Gee, Dad, he doesn't recognize me!"

Received from Thorn Shunt.

(_:][:_)

Doctor's Order

Doctor: "I see you're over a month late for your
appointment. Don't you know that nervous disorders require prompt and regular attention? What's your excuse?"

Patient: "I was just following your orders, Doc."

Doctor: "Following my orders? What are you talking about? I gave you no such order."

Patient: "You told me to avoid people who irritate me."

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

(_:][:_)

The Execution

Three men went to Mexico together on a vacation. They had known each other in high school, and they were eager to get to know each other again.

One night, they went out on the town and got completely drunk. When they woke up the next morning, they were in a jail cell. They asked the guard why they were there. He replied, "Last night the three of you killed an old man. You will be executed at noon."

Of course, none of them believed this. They begged and pleaded with their jailer, and even offered him substantial bribes if he would just let them go. But, he stood firm, and the jail door stayed shut.

The hour came. They all ate their last meal and were herded into the room where the electric chair sat. The first man was strapped into the chair and was asked for his last words.

He said, "Well, I'm a theologian from Harvard Divinity School, and I believe in the power of God to intervene on behalf of the innocent."

The executioner threw the switch, but nothing happened. He immediately thought, "God must be on this man's side." So he let him go.

The second man was strapped in, and he was asked for his last words. He responded, "I'm a lawyer from Yale Law School, and I believe in the power of justice to intervene on behalf of the innocent."

The switch was thrown, but again, nothing happened. The executioner figured that justice must be on this man's side, and he let him go.

Finally, the third man was strapped into the chair and was asked for his last words.

"Well, I'm an electrical engineer from MIT, and nothing's going to happen if you don't connect those two wires right there..."

Received from Gordon Freeman.

(_:][:_)

Mugger

Late one night a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into a path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs. "Give me your money," he demanded.

Indignant, the affluent man replied, "You can't do this! I am a United States congressman!"

"In that case," replied the mugger, "give me MY money."

Received from John Turner.

(_:][:_)

Tell Me

A businessman had a tiring day on the road. He checked into the local hotel and, because he was concerned the dining room might close soon, left his luggage at the front desk while he went immediately to eat.

After a leisurely dinner, he returned to the desk to retrieve his luggage and realized he had forgotten to pick up his key. He also had forgotten his room number.

So he said to the clerk on duty, "Hello, I'm Henry Davis. Can you tell me what room I'm in?"

"Certainly, sir," replied the clerk. "You're in the lobby."

Received from Docs Daily Chuckle.

(_:][:_)

Rate this funny at http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20120420

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Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Column - - http://www.madkane.com/humor_blog/

Those Smashing French Language Police (Limerick)
August 6th, 2013

The French are at it again:

Those Smashing French Language Police (2-Verse Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“Le Binge Drinking’s” been outlawed in France.
They’re maintaining a very strict stance–
Not against all that drinking.
No! What were you thinking?
It’s their “dump English verbiage” dance.

A new phrase that has Frenchified grace
Must henceforth be used to replace
Such Anglicized words,
Discarded like turds:
“Beuverie express” — drink at fast pace.

© Madeleine Begun Kane. All Rights Reserved.
http://www.madkane.com/
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"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." __ Franklin D. Roosevelt
"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. _ _ George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" _ _ Queen E. Watson
“A political class of Republicans and Democrats that look after themselves, not the Nation. A media hostile to the very precepts of this nation. A generation of Americans who see morals as vices, and are ignorant of America's Actual History.”
"The things that will destroy America are prosperity-at-any-price, peace-at-any-price, safety-first instead of duty-first, the love of soft living, and the get-rich-quick theory of life." - - Theodore Roosevelt
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Emergency Phone Number 911
(Fire, Police, Ambulance, Sheriff, etc. )
Central Dispatch 234_5655
(Non _ Emergency Number)
Direct Numbers
Ambulance _ 234_7371 (24 Hour)
Jail _ 234_5331 (24 Hour)
Poison Control _ 800_222_1222 (24 Hour)
http://www. aapcc. org/
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Interested in getting in touch with the Banner_News through e_mail? editor@bannernews.net For the editor, news@bannernews.net For news and sports items, Coming Events, Diary, Church News, school and civic events. [http://www.bannernews.net/]
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"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." __ "Bug"
"I read the end of the book. We win!" __ "Bug"
"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." __ "Bug"
"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." _ _ "Bug"
"It's no big deal doing what God tells you to do. A big deal would be NOT doing what God tells you to do. Just ask Jonah." _ _ Paul Troquille
“Nam et ipsa scientia potestas est.” Knowledge is power. _ Francis Bacon
"The problem is here and now. The time for talk is past. The time for action is now."
Comments on the first Earth Day _ James F. McClellan via John "Fuzzy" Thurman
~~~~~
Hope you enjoy the newsletter.
Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" __"Bug"
God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
God is Good and Faithful CU 73 IC JFM CSP NREMT_I KC5HII

P. S. If you'd like to be added to the distribution, just drop us E_mail at kc5hii@suddenlink.net
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