Saturday, December 8, 2012

Bug’s Bleat - - GCF: Offering Plates

New York World-Telegram Pearl Harbor Headline

My latest "Light Wheat" bread. I concentrated on minimum handling of this batch of dough with very good results.

Our sons and daughters, brothers and sisters and loved ones are still fighting and dying in Afghanistan

Fried cabbage, mixed veggies and Tuna patties,

Josiah and Ethan helped Annette fill 150 bags with cookies for the Wade Prison Ministry Christmas Party.

Volume 14, Issue 48 Friday, December 07, 2012

Hello ALL,

News reports say the Great Passion Play in Eureka Springs has closed permanently due to financial problems. Falling attendance figures in recent years are believed to be the main cause of the closure. Our family enjoyed attending the GPP when the kids were small. It was an impressive spectacle and probably the first live stage performance many of the tourists had seen.

Jimmy took this photo of Ethan, Daisy and Peggy. He titled it; “Barbarians At The Gate.”

Annette has spent quite a bit of time and energy decorating for the holiday and, even though she’d had a rough week with multiple doctor visits in El Dorado and Texarkana, she wanted to show the boys the giant snowman outside the garage.

This snowman brings back memories of the 7’ snowman she bought one year to “grace” our yard display. It was also inflatable but didn’t require a fan to keep it blown up. And, as we discovered, the base was suitable for indoor or outdoor use. For several years, that snowman was the bane of our kids and a source of significant psychological trauma. Some unknown person would sneak it into the house after everyone had gone to bed and place it right outside a bedroom door. Then it was just a matter of waiting for the “victim” to stumble sleepily out their door and run into a 7’ “monster” in the hallway. :0)
An old friend, Virginia Jackson wrote us; “I remember the house on Calhoun with the monkey that lived in the trees in the yard :)”

Virginia is talking about my parent’s home on Calhoun Street in Magnolia. The property actually reached from Calhoun Street, across the block to Pine Street. We lived in a 12’ x 60’ mobile home on the Pine Street side. The lot was wooded and also filled with plants and young trees that Annette and my mother had planted. When the kids were in elementary school, we had a Spider Monkey that Lester Lancaster gave to David and Vanessa. It wasn’t long before the monkey got loose and took up residence in the trees between my parent’s home and ours on Pine Street. He enjoyed the bounty of the partially wooded lot as well as stealing food from anyone foolish enough to eat outside. Lunches on the porch and kids walking up the path eating ice cream were his favorite sources of nourishment.

The "Rest of The Monkey Story"

My kids like showing visitors how Squeaky would swoop down from the trees and grab food from folks who were outside. However, we didn’t advertise his existence to the world at large and this caused some angst for one of our neighbors.

Mrs. Bob Vinson came over one day and asked; "Do y'all have a monkey?" When I replied; "yes." she exclaimed; "Oh Thank God. My family thought I was going crazy."

She lived on the north side of our property and had seen Squeaky moving through the trees out her kitchen window. But she was the only one in her family who had seen him. Her kids and husband were beginning to think she was cracking up, claiming to see a monkey in Magnolia.

On another occasion, Annette invited the new AG Pastor and his wife to lunch. She served them on the screened in porch she'd built on our trailer. The porch was full of plants and quite comfortable on temperate days.

She'd just served the food when Mrs. Barton pointed out a beautiful lizard on one of the plants beside the table.

Within seconds, Squeaky had found his way onto the porch through a crack between the roof and the trailer and had jumped down, grabbed the lizard and bit its head off.

The visitors were shocked speechless as were we. Finally, Annette said; "I don't believe you've met our Monkey, Squeaky."

The Banner News got wind of Squeaky and sent a reporter out to do a story. He got a great photo of Squeaky sitting on David's shoulder eating an ice cream cone that he'd just stolen from our son.

The story was published the next day and the day after, Squeaky disappeared.

We always assumed that someone read the story, lured the Monkey with an ice cream cone and stole him.

Years later, when the old smoke house behind my parent’s home was torn down, we found Squeaky's bones.
For some reason, he'd died in the attic of that old building.
Tamey Duke never turned away a hungry person. If they didn't have money, he'd feed them anyway.
But he didn't offer them "humming bird tongues under glass." They'd be served whatever food was available.

I wasn't homeless or destitute but the rule still applied when I stopped by to eat at my dad's Cafe. I'd be served what was left from the lunch rush or some other simple food.

So Tamey wasn't too happy when a fellow came up the register one day after finishing a meal of the most expensive thing on the menu, a seafood platter and told Tamey; "I don't have any money but if you have a guitar, I can sing for you."

Tamey didn't hesitate, he'd just fed me a left over cutlet and mashed potatoes off the lunch table and this guy had waltzed in and stolen food from him. He called the police and they came and arrested the fellow.

A while later, the police called the Chatterbox and told Tamey that the guy was a drifter with no money.

Tamey asked them when they fed supper at the jail. The police replied "five o’clock." Tamey told them; "Well let him go before five. I don't want to feed him twice."
Attack on Pearl Harbor - - [] - - Censored Account of Pearl Harbor Attack Published - - By Bill Hoffmann

A gripping and poignant reporter’s account of the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor — deemed too graphic for publication — has finally been printed 71 years later.

“I felt that numb terror that all of London has known for months. It is the terror of not being able to do anything but fall on your stomach and hope the bomb won’t land on you,’’ wrote Elizabeth McIntosh, a reporter for the Honolulu Star-Bulletin.


A gripping and poignant reporter’s account of the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor — deemed too graphic for publication — has finally been printed 71 years later.

“I felt that numb terror that all of London has known for months. It is the terror of not being able to do anything but fall on your stomach and hope the bomb won’t land on you,’’ wrote Elizabeth McIntosh, a reporter for the Honolulu Star-Bulletin.

“It’s the helplessness and terror of sudden visions of a ripping sensation in your back, shrapnel coursing through your chest, total blackness, maybe death.’’

McIntosh, now 97, tells the Washington Post — which Thursday published her account of the Dec. 7, 1941 barrage that killed 2,402 Americans — that she had geared the piece towards Hawaii’s women to “help prepare them for what lay head.

But her editors spiked the story because of its graphic content they feared would be “too upsetting’’ for the daily paper’s readers.

In her article, McIntosh tells of seeing “a formation of black planes diving straight into the ocean off Pearl Harbor’’ and then “a rooftop fly into the air like a pasteboard movie set.

As bombs relentlessly dropped, “ambulances screamed off into the heart of the destruction,’’ McIntosh wrote. “The drivers were blood-sodden when they returned, with stories of streets ripped up, houses burned, twisted shrapnel and charred bodies of children.’’

She said her office was barraged with calls from women knowing how they could help out in the aftermath.

“It was then that I realized how important women can be in a war-torn world,’’ McIntosh wrote.

What McIntosh witnessed would affect her profoundly. She quit the newspaper business two years later to join the Office of Strategic Services and was in charge of running morale operations against the Japanese in Burma and China.

She later went on to become a longtime employee of the CIA and in 1998, at the age of 83, published a well-received book, “Sisterhood of Spies: The Women of the OSS.’’

© 2012 Newsmax. All rights reserved.
Pearl Harbor Facts

The attack took place on December 7, 1941.
Although the aerial attack was very successful, the submarines failed to finish off any wounded ship inside the harbor.
The attack’s success surprised the Japanese as much as the Americans.
The last part of the decoded Japanese message stated that U.S. relations were to be severed.
The Japanese attack force was under the command of Admiral Nagumo.
Japanese force consisted of six carriers with 423 planes.
At 6 a.m. the first Japanese attack wave of 83 planes took off.
Nickname for Pearl Harbor is “Gibraltar of the Pacific.”
Eighteen U.S. ships were hit.
President Franklin D. Roosevelt said, “December 7, 1941, a date which will live in infamy,” in reference to the attack.
Three prime targets escaped damage, the U.S. Pacific Fleet aircraft carriers, the Lexington, Enterprise and Saratoga. They were not in the port when the attack took place.
Another target, the base fuel tanks also escaped damage.
Casualties included 2,335 servicemen and 68 civilians.
1178 people were wounded.

The day after the attack the U.S. and Britain declared war on Japan.
Pearl Harbor is the Naval Base for the U.S. Pacific Fleet.
Pearl Harbor is the headquarters of the U.S. Pacific Fleet.
Pearl Harbor has 10 square miles of navigable water.
The harbor is on the southern coast of Oahu.
The harbor is artificially improved.
The attack was the climax of a decade of worsening relations between the U.S. and militaristic Japan.
A U.S. embargo on necessary supplies for war prompted the attack on Pearl Harbor.
The Japanese Admiral Yamamoto Isoroku planned the attack with great care.
All of the planes on the Japanese ships were fully fueled and armed.
The Japanese planes took off about 90 minutes from Pearl Harbor.
The president at the time of the attack was Franklin D. Roosevelt.
The attack brought the United States into World War II.
The Japanese fleet had 30 ships.

The Japanese were interested in the Hawaiian islands since the islands were annexed by the U.S. in 1898.
An admiral said, “leaving aside the unspeakable treachery of it, the Japanese did a fine job.”
Japanese suffered just small losses.
The attack crippled the United States fleet.
The Japanese deceived the U.S. by saying false statements and expressed interest in continued peace.
Americans think of the attack as very dishonorable.
The attack was planned weeks in advance.
The main reason for the attack was over economic issues.
Because of the unpreparedness of the U.S. military, Admiral Husband Kimmel and General Walter Short were relieved of duty.
The attack severely crippled the U.S. naval and air strength in the Pacific.
Of the eight battleships, all but the Arizona and Oklahoma were eventually repaired and returned to service.

Once the fleet was out of action, Japan would be able to conquest a great area.
A U.S. Army private who noticed the large flight of planes on his radar screen was told to ignore them because a flight of B-17s from the continental U.S. was expected at the time.
More than 180 U.S. aircraft were destroyed.
During the attack the USS Arizona sank with a loss of more than 1,100 men.
A white concrete and steel structure now spans the hull of the sunken ship as a memorial.
The memorial was dedicated on May 30, 1962.
U.S. officials had been aware that an attack by Japan was probable, but did not know the time or place it would occur.
Pearl Harbor was not in the state of high alert when the attack started, Anti-Aircraft guns were left unmanned.
The Americans were taken completely by surprise.

The second wave targets were other ships and shipyard facilities.
The air raid lasted until about 9:45 a.m.
I find much of the news both accurate and disheartening. It's true that we are headed for rougher times. As an example, I looked through Amazon's top 20 DVDs of 2012, looking to see if there was a movie we might enjoy. 18 of the 20 “Top” movies were "R" rated. It seems daily that we feel more and more estranged from the rest of society. I'm just not interested in listening to two hours of profane language. Or other objectionable material. I know that GREAT movies can be made without making them objectionable.

Another point is that the Republicans are woefully unprepared to meet the media. It's almost like the opposition has voodoo dolls that enable them to make the Republican candidates do and say dumb things.

The fiscal cliff looks better to me every day. Maybe it will wake some folks up.
Our friend Quinton Riggins wrote the following letter to Bob Costa.
I said I was going to post my thoughts about Bob Costas’s antigun rant on the halftime show of an NFL game last Sunday evening. I am tired of those that are continually trying to erode our constitutional rights, freedoms, and liberties. I wrote an open letter to Mr. Costas and chose to post it here. I also made and audio version, but had to put it in video form in order for it to post, so the link is attached also. There is a link at the bottom of the letter. I warn you that there are a couple of graphic photos towards the end of the video, so you might need to monitor who watches it if you feel the need to do so. Please feel free to comment and/or share.

Dear Bob Costas:

I would like to tell you that I think you have been brainwashed by the liberal media that you are a part of into believing that guns kill people. It is true that guns are used in murders, but there is no evidence that banning guns has or ever will stop people from killing each other. In fact, gun sales tripled in the five years from 2005 to 2010 in the United States, while gun related violence decreased by nearly 14%. I am sure you do not want to hear such facts or deal with them because it might just mess up your ideology.

Mr. Costas, I would submit to you that if the Kansas City Chiefs football player’s girlfriend had been legally carrying a firearm, she would probably be alive, her children would still have a mother, and the only one dead would be the cowardly football player who chose to kill her and his self. If he were determined to kill himself and did not have a firearm, then he would have found one of countless ways to do so. Murderers are less concerned about how they kill and more concerned about not getting caught, unless they plan a murder-suicide, then they would probably give great consideration as to how they prefer to end their own life. Such cowards are selfish and would prefer to get it over as quickly and painlessly as possible. All that being said, I will not be surprised when the mainstream media finds a way to make Belcher the victim in this tragedy.

Mr. Costas, I am not sure what Cain used to kill Abel when he attacked him, but I am certain it was not a 357 semiautomatic pistol or an AK-47. More than likely it was his bare hands or a rod or a rock or something of that nature. In fact, if you think about it, Abel would probably have lived another day if he had had a firearm with laser sights on it pointed between Cain’s eyes at the time. Cain may have gotten Abel later, but I suspect Abel would have lived longer than he did.

I ask, Mr. Costas, what about OJ Simpson? He used a knife. Shouldn’t we ban knives? If so, then we really should ban anything metal, hard plastic, or wood, etc. that can be shaped and sharpened into a deadly weapon. If we don’t band metal, then we should at the very least ban all metal grinders that could be used to shape and sharpen the metal into deadly weapons. Only registered machine workers could operate these grinders, and they would have to go through security clearance to obtain their position and go through metal detectors entering and departing from work. Ordinary citizens would have to take their lawn mower blades to certified machinists to get their mower blades sharpened. But wait, mower blades could be removed and themselves be used as deadly weapons (remember the movie “Slingblade?”), so what do we do about that issue? We could ban wrenches so people cannot remove the mower blades, and we all know that many murders have been committed by people with wrenches, so we would be, pardon the pun, killing two birds with one stone.

This is really getting complicated Mr. Costas because I remember hearing of cases where people also use such things as hammers, metal pipes, lamps, screw drivers, bottles, fire pokers, and all sorts of objects to murder people with.

If I recall correctly, Ted Bundy never shot any of the 100 women he supposedly murdered. He used blunt objects including a log in one case. If we ban logs, do we cut all the trees down and burn them? If we do not get rid of the trees, then surely someone, somewhere, will see them and be tempted to use them as murder weapons.

What about Jeffrey Dahmer Mr. Costas? He used everything from a dumbbell to an electric drill and pouring hydrochloric acid into the drill holes to kill his 17 victims. What would you have banned to prevent the deaths of these 17 young boys and men? Would they still be alive if Dahmer did not have dumbbells, drills, or acid?

Mr. Costas, do you remember the story that was the rage of the national media a few years back about a young mother by the name of Susan Smith who drove her car into a lake. Sadly, the mother just happened to leave her young children strapped into the back seat of the car and sent them to their drowning deaths. Mr. Costas, I submit to you that if that mother had not owned an automobile, those children would still be alive and well today. Do you not also want to ban automobiles Mr. Costas?

Who could forget Charlie Manson and his merry clan? They preferred stabbing as their method of choice. They used knives, bayonets, and carving forks to finish off their victims. On a personal note Mr. Costas, if my murder was imminent, I think I would prefer to take a 357 magnum or .45 ACP between the eyes than to be stabbed 17 times and left to suffer and bleed to death. But that’s just me. So, which of the Manson weapons would you prefer to do away with Mr. Costas? If it were my choice, I would try to ban carving forks first.

This one is really tricky Mr. Costas. I have even heard of accounts in which people were beaten or choked to death by someone’s bare hands, or used their feet to kick someone to death. In fact, in 2009, the last year the FBI released murder statistics in the US, there were over 800 murders committed with bare hands, and only a miniscule number of murders committed with assault weapons that you and the rest of the liberal left are so fond of demonizing. So, how do you ban hands and feet Mr. Costas?

Why, I have even heard of pillows being used to suffocate victims and there are cases where some have been murdered by electrocution. Please do not ban electricity and pillows Mr. Costas. I have become very accustomed to lights, heat, and air conditioning in my home and workplace, and I love the three pillows that nurture me to sleep each night.

So, where does this all end? What can we logically ban and not ban because there seems no end to the creativity of people when it comes to finding ways to murder someone else. I could go on and on about potential murder weapons. Look around the environment that you are in at this very moment, and see if you cannot observe many potential murder weapons.

Perhaps, Mr. Costas, the problem is not the weapons. Perhaps the problem is the culture we currently live in. Perhaps, it is a culture that has devalued life to the point that we can casually discard over a million unborn children in this country every year and justify these deaths by calling these atrocities against children a woman’s health issue. Perhaps it is a culture that has devalued the traditional family unit. Perhaps, it is a culture that has progressively become more and more immoral. Compare the relationship of our increasing immorality to the banning of God from our schools and the current desire by some to ban any mention of God or Jesus in any public place or public forum, and I think you would be surprised at the findings. Perhaps, Mr. Costas, America just needs to get on her collective knees and ask forgiveness for our sins against God, each other, and our friends abroad. There is a spiritual side to this issue Mr. Costas. I have no idea whether you believe in God or not, but I would like to offer the following scripture from the Bible as a solution to the ills in this country. “ if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.” 2 Chronicles 14

Mr. Costas, I know you will never read this letter, but if you did, I am sure it would not change your mind. I respect your right to form your own opinion, but I certainly do not agree with your opinion. I also submit that the halftime show of a football game is no place for the promotion of gun control. I know that in the days since you presented your ideology to the American sports world, you have tried to backtrack and soften your stance, but if I could somehow get inside your mind and heart, I believe I would find someone that would truly like to get rid of all private gun ownership if you possibly could. I personally do not care if you own or carry a gun Mr. Costas, but I do care that you and those like you do not want me to own and legally carry guns despite the fact that our country’s founding fathers assured me that I have that a constitutional right to do so.

In all seriousness Mr. Costas, I pray that you are never confronted with a person armed with a weapon of any type that could do you and/or your family harm, and you are helplessly unarmed and left defenseless. That would be a preventable tragedy that we would all lament.

Mr. Costas, I am sure you have many times heard the saying that “Guns don’t kill people, people do.” This has stood true from the days of Cain and Abel to the present and will continue as long as man inhabits this earthly realm.

Good day and God bless Mr. Costas.
Apollo 17 [] was the eleventh and final mission of the United States' Apollo program, the sixth mission to land humans on the Moon. Launched at 12:33 a.m. Eastern Standard Time (EST) on 7 December 1972, with a three-member crew consisting of Commander Eugene Cernan, Command Module Pilot Ronald Evans, and Lunar Module Pilot Harrison Schmitt, Apollo 17 remains the most recent manned Moon landing and the most recent crewed flight beyond low Earth orbit. After Apollo 17, extra Apollo spacecraft were used in the Skylab and Apollo-Soyuz Test Project programs.

The lunar landing site was the Taurus-Littrow highlands and valley area. This site was picked for Apollo 17 as a location where rocks both older and younger than those previously returned from other Apollo missions, as well as from Luna 16 and 20 missions, might be found.

The mission was the final in a series of three J-type missions planned for the Apollo Program. These J-type missions can be distinguished from previous G- and H-series missions by extended hardware capability, larger scientific payload capacity and by the use of the battery-powered Lunar Roving Vehicle, or LRV.

Apollo 17 hosted the first scientist-astronaut to land on moon: Harrison Schmitt. The sixth automated research station was set up. The lunar rover vehicle traversed a total of 30.5 kilometers. Lunar surface-stay time was 75 hours, and lunar orbit time 17 hours. Astronauts gathered 110.4 kilograms, or 243 pounds, of material.
What's little known is that there were several planned moon flights after Apollo 17. They never happened.

The real story of the lost missions of Apollo flights 18, 19, and 20, is a sad blank chapter in American space history. It has eerie parallels with the predicament NASA is now facing.

If the Apollo 18-20 flights were realized, school kids today could be looking at stunning photographs taken from the mountain-rimmed floors of the young impact craters Copernicus or Tycho, or the terrain on the far side of the moon, or the frozen volcanic lava flows from billions of years ago.

But the tumultuous political climate of the early 1970s pulled these aspirations down to Earth like the tug of gravity. Why were the final three missions canceled? Of course, there are many reasons given including a public no longer really interested and other priorities (like the Vietnam War) competing for funds.

But the final reason is that President Richard Nixon was no fan of former President John F. Kennedy’s Apollo moon project -- though Nixon was in office and got all the glory when we actually landed on the moon in 1969.

Nixon could have easily one-upped the Kennedy vision by proclaiming Mars as our next target. In fact, his Vice President Spiro Agnew touted the idea. The mighty Saturn V booster could have gotten us to Mars by the mid 1980s using nuclear engines that were under development.

There was also a "less than Right Stuff" fear of losing an Apollo crew. The Apollo 13 mishap was a very close call. The Apollo flights were the space age equivalent of seat-of-pants barnstorming.

The total savings of canceling the Apollo missions was a paltry $42 million -- all the rockets and spacecraft had been built for the ambitious expeditions. Today, they are now rusting away as some of the most expensive museum pieces ever constructed.

What is especially sad is that most potentially scientifically rewarding, dramatic, and risk-taking sites were planned for Apollo 18-20 missions.

Possible landing sites were the young and large impact craters Copernicus, Gassendi and Tycho. Their craggy central peaks were thrust upward at the time of impacts, bringing material from deep within the lunar crust to the surface (Tycho's central peaks are shown in the leading image).

December 7, 2012 - - Rasmussen Reports - - A Commentary By Scott Rasmussen

Republicans Miss the Point on 'Fiscal Cliff' Debate

President Obama is winning the messaging wars in the "fiscal cliff" debate largely because Republicans aren't even in the game.

The GOP leadership in Washington keeps talking as if the issue is deficit reduction, while the president is talking about fairness.

Consider the numbers. Sixty-one percent of voters want to see a deal reached to avoid the big Jan. 1 tax hikes and across-the-board spending cuts, and 68 percent want the deal to include a combination of both tax hikes and spending cuts. By a 2-to-1 margin, voters would like to see more spending cuts than tax hikes.

Instead, the president's proposal includes $4 of tax hikes for every dollar of spending cuts, and the spending cuts are nothing more than a promise to work something out next year.

If the issue was really deficit reduction, the president's proposal would leave the GOP in fine shape. But the president has the upper hand politically, and voters see him as more willing to negotiate in good faith.

To understand why, start with the fact that 57 percent of voters favor raising taxes on people who earn more than $250,000 a year. Republicans complain that this isn't enough to make a dent in the deficit. Voters understand that already: Just 19 percent of voters think it is possible to balance the federal budget primarily by raising taxes on upper-income Americans.

Add to that the fact that voters don't expect much substance to emerge from the fiscal cliff debate. If no deal is reached, taxes will go up on just about everyone, and there will be modest reductions in proposed spending growth. If a deal is reached, six out of 10 expect the deal to lead to higher middle-class taxes, and only one out of three thinks spending will go down. In other words, most people expect pretty much the same result whether or not a deal is reached.

In this environment, the president has proposed a policy that addresses a perceived level of unfairness in the nation's economic arrangements. Whether it's the best approach doesn't even matter because Republicans in Washington haven't even tried to address the fairness issue. They keep arguing about economic theories.

As a result, 52 percent of voters now prefer a candidate who promises to raise taxes on the wealthy, while just 34 percent favor a candidate who opposes all tax hikes.

This highlights a larger problem faced by the Republican establishment. While most voters see Democrats as the party of big government, Republicans spend more time talking about government. They complain that it's too big, imposes too many regulations and has unsustainable deficits.

Under Obama, Democrats talk less about government and more about how their policies will affect life in America. It's the end result that a pragmatic nation cares about, not the policies.

For Republicans to succeed, they need to recognize that most voters don't care about limited government. But voters care deeply about the type of society a limited government makes possible.

Applying that logic to the current debate over the fiscal cliff, Republicans in Washington need to recognize that few voters believe this is a serious debate about deficit reduction. The president has made it instead a debate about fairness, and they need to respond on that level.

To find out more about Scott Rasmussen, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit

Favorite Quotes:

Phil Robertson told his grandson, "Get you a woman who cooks good and carries her bible. That's the secret of a good life and a good marriage." I scored 100% with Annette.
With Great Power, comes great electricity bill.
The following wisdom is shared by our friends.
Please take the time to read. [] - - Mary Louise Brownlee Alexis
I see no point in arguing with you. You do a fine job of proving your complete ignorance on your own. - - Martha Chapman
Life without God is like an unsharpened pencil... there is no Point. --Donah Dumas
Killing skeeters on December to love it!!!!! - - Jim Ford
I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid people...I'm just saying let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem sort itself out. - - Wendell Franks.
I have to stop saying "How stupid can you be?" I think people are starting to take it as a challenge. - - Chuck Jackson
Jealousy arises from counting other people's blessings instead of your own.

Worrying is a waste of time, it doesn't change anything; it just messes with your mind and steals your happiness.

We cannot control what others say or do to us but we can control how we react and let it affect our lives

Smile and say kind, happy words, even when you don't feel like it, you may lift the spirit of someone having an even worse day than you

Trust your instincts. They are God-given

No matter what you are going through, God already knows

yes! there is light at the end of this tunnel.

in the quiet moments is when God speaks, you just have to be willing to listen

a little humor......After spending millions in research scientists still do not know exactly how long a cotton picking minute is.

You can't see the rainbow if you're looking at the puddle

If you want to get over a problem, stop talking about it. Your mind affects your mouth, and your mouth affects your mind - - Nancy Davis Law
"When have we forgotten that the church doesn't exist for us? We are the church and we exist for the world"- Erwin McManus - - Mallory Ruark
We are practiced in pleading inadequacy in order to avoid living at the best that God calls us to!!! (Gregory Douglas) - - Joe Tudor
Roasted Brussels Sprouts With Pomegranate and Hazelnuts - - Recipe courtesy Bobby Flay for Food Network Magazine

Prep Time: 20 min
Cook Time: 45 min
Level: Easy
Serves: 4 to 6 servings


1 1/4 pounds Brussels sprouts, trimmed and halved
2 tablespoons canola oil
Kosher salt and freshly ground pepper
3 tablespoons pomegranate molasses
Seeds from 1 pomegranate
1/2 cup coarsely chopped toasted hazelnuts
Finely grated zest of 1 lime
1 tablespoon finely grated orange zest


Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F.

Put the Brussels sprouts in a medium roasting pan; toss with the canola oil and season with salt and pepper. Roast in the oven until light golden brown and a knife inserted into the centers goes in without any resistance, about 45 minutes.

Transfer the sprouts to a large bowl and add the pomegranate molasses, pomegranate seeds, hazelnuts, and lime and orange zests. Season with salt as needed.

SERVES: 4 (Side); Calories: 295; Total Fat 17 grams; Saturated Fat: 1 grams; Protein: 8 grams; Total carbohydrates: 35 grams; Sugar: 18 grams Fiber: 9 grams; Cholesterol: 0 milligrams; Sodium: 162 milligrams,1946,FOOD_9936_579530_RECIPE-PRINT-FULL-PAGE-FORMATTER,00.html

Copyright 2012 Television Food Network G.P. - - All Rights Reserved
AskBob - - Bob Rankin - - Eleven Great Gifts for Geeks

It’s the most wonderful time of the year, when you ponder what to give the geek in your life. An iPad is too obvious; besides, every geek already has one. But I'm taking the stress out of selecting a Christmas or Hanukkah gift for the geeky guy or gal on your list. Here are some thoroughly geeky gift ideas that are sure to please... []
Want to see why the Germans have a positive trade balance, in spite of paying workers some of the highest wages in the world? Watch this: It is truly incredible... []

Thanks to Gary Foreman
Space Shuttle Discovery - 360VR Images

Thanks to Joe Mullins
I met this guy while I was in Albuquerque and he has a motto he lives by every day. He said listen carefully and live by these 4 rules: Drink, Steal, Swear, & Lie. I was shaking my head 'no', but he then told me to listen while he explained his four rules. So here they are:

1… "Drink" from the "everlasting cup" every day.
2… "Steal" a moment to help someone that is in worse shape than you are.
3… "Swear" that you will be a better person today than yesterday.
4… And last, but not least, when you "lie" down at night thank God you live in America and have freedom.

I am not as good as I should be; I am not as good as I could be. but THANK GOD I am better than I used to be!

Thanks to Gary Foreman

Why do I have a variety of friends who are all so different in character? How can I get along with them all? I think that each one helps to bring out a "different" part of me.

With one of them I am polite. I joke with another friend. I sit down and talk about serious matters with one. With another I laugh a lot. I listen to one friend's problems. Then I listen to another one's advice for me.

My friends are all like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. When completed, they form a treasure box. A treasure of friends! They are my friends who understand me better than myself, who support me through good days and bad days.

Real Age doctors tell us that friends are good for our health. Dr. Oz calls them Vitamins F (for Friends) and counts the benefits of friends as essential to our well being. Research shows that people in strong social circles have less risk of depression and terminal strokes. If you enjoy Vitamins F constantly you can be up to 30 years younger than your real age. The warmth of friendship stops stress, and even in your most intense moments it decreases the chance of a cardiac arrest or stroke by 50%. I'm so happy that I have a stock of Vitamins F!

In summary, we should value our friends and keep in touch with them. We should try to see the funny side of things and laugh together, and pray for each other in the tough moments. Be thankful for all of them...

Thanks to Waneta
The latest from Michael Yon, the foremost “milnews” blogger on the web.

This is typical Afghanistan combat. []
Navy gives away aircraft carrier position with photos on Flickr. Make sure to see this. I liked the photos, but I also enjoyed the accidental position report. The Iranians probably did, too.

I hate to be the one to tell the Navy, but better I than the Iranians. []

Very Respectfully,
Michael Yon
Your Writer,

Please remember that this website accepts no advertisement and is dependent on your support.

PS Please sign up for my updates at "Michael_Yon" [] (not Michael Yon).
If you would like to encourage US Troops overseas, but are not sure just how to begin, visit for ideas.
Please remember ... America is not at war. The U.S. Military is at war. America is at the MALL.
~~~~~ - - Here's to showing the world What's Possible!

Flash Mob For Cancer Patient
Ellen McGuirk is one popular lady. So many people wanted to visit her in the hospital, her husband organized a flash mob outside her room. []

Teaching Dogs To Drive []
Can a dog be trained to drive a car? New Zealand's Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals proved it could be done.

ACC: U.S. energy imports to plunge by 2040, EIA report says
Oil and natural gas production, along with renewable energy, will help the U.S. reduce outside energy dependence by 2040, according to the Energy Information Administration. Shale natural gas production enabled by hydraulic fracturing technology will account for 30% of U.S. energy production by then, according to EIA. USA Today (12/5) [], Los Angeles Times/PolitiCal blog
Photos on the front of this week’s “Bleat” include - - New York World-Telegram Pearl Harbor Headline, My latest "Light Wheat" bread, Our sons and daughters, brothers and sisters and loved ones are still fighting and dying in Afghanistan, Fried cabbage, mixed veggies and Tuna patties, Josiah and Ethan help fill bags with cookies for the Wade Prison Ministry Christmas Party.
For the latest issue of "Da Bleat.", go to
Our photos are posted at
Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
BreakPoint - - Consumerism and the Lottery, What They Can’t Get You
By: John Stonestreet|Published:

If money can’t buy happiness, why do we pretend winning the lottery can? Stay tuned for BreakPoint.
Listen Now | Download

Did you see the YouTube video of a Maryland man discovering that he won over a quarter of a billion dollars in the recent Powerball lottery? That man, wearing a yellow work coat, excitedly checks his numbers at a convenience store and then basically goes berserk. The title of the video clip is, “Video reveals life-changing Powerball moment.”

Now I don’t want to throw cold water on his celebration. I mean, who wouldn’t want to be a quarter of a billion dollars richer? But I question how life-changing winning a gigantic jackpot really is. More money—even a lot more money—doesn’t make us happier deep down inside. Rather, it reveals the trajectory our lives are already on with respect to material things.

I learned this during the year I spent in Jamaica right out of college. Jamaica is an incredibly poor country dependent heavily on tourism, and I saw there two approaches to money. Many tourists, especially the annual spring-breakers, saw debauchery and excess as a way of really living it up.

Many Jamaicans, on the other hand, viewed these tourists, even as they served them, with anger and resentment. Why? Because they could never have the so-called “good life” they believed was only available to those with lots of cash. In both cases, however, money was viewed as the ticket to happiness.

This is exactly what our consumer culture, especially at this time of year, tries to tell us: that we have this “Lexus-shaped hole” in our heart that only a new IS 250 can fill. This is more than materialism--the worldview that says only material things matter. It’s consumerism--a view of life that says everything is to be evaluated on whether it satisfies my desires and makes me whole.

As Skye Jethani, author of The Divine Commodity: Discerning a Faith Beyond Consumer Christianity notes, consumerism is not really a worship of stuff. At root, it’s a worship of self at any cost.

Skye is my guest this weekend on BreakPoint This Week. I hope you’ll tune in or click on “This Week” at Skye says that consumerism encompasses far more than our shopping and spending habits. The consumerist belief that the essence of existence is the fulfillment of our desires touches everything, from our relationships to our choice of churches. If our husband or wife doesn’t “meet our needs,” we get a divorce. If we don’t “get anything” from our local congregation’s music, ministry, or preaching, we go “church shopping.”

It becomes very tempting to approach all of life as a consumer, where Christ becomes just one option among many, rather than the One who redeems and transforms the broken self and the broken world.

In The Divine Commodity, Skye tells of the famous artist Vincent Van Gogh’s love-hate relationship with the church. Actually, we have good evidence that Van Gogh was deeply committed to Christ but couldn’t stand the church, which he saw as captive to the culture of the day—as many of our own churches today are.

In Van Gogh’s amazing painting, Starry Night, all the world under the pulsating night sky reflects the brilliance and glory of the Creator—all, that is, except for one little church, which remains dark and without the divine presence. It is a damning indictment, and a warning worth heeding today.

On “BreakPoint This Week,” Skye admits that it is impossible for us Christians to separate ourselves from the consumer culture, which is, after all, the very air we breathe as 21st century Westerners. But the good news is we don’t have to retreat from the world, but we need to find new ways of seeing it so that we can begin to live differently.

It’s a tall order, but Skye’s excellent book, The Divine Commodity, which we have for you at the BreakPoint online bookstore, offers spiritual practices that will help you escape cultural captivity. And in our interview he gives ideas about how to live intentionally against consumerism this Christmas.
While money might change our lives and buy us a little bit of worldly happiness, especially if we beat the odds and win the lottery, it comes at a cost that none of us would ever want to pay.

Further Reading and Information

The Divine Commodity []
Skye Jethani | Zondervan | March 2009

Can winning the lottery buy happiness? Far from a sure bet, history shows []
James Eng | NBC News | April 18, 2012

Do We Need $75,000 a Year to Be Happy? [,9171,2019628,00.html]
Belinda Luscombe | Time | September 6, 2010


Copyright © 2012 Prison Fellowship. All Rights Reserved

Residents of Columbia County, Arkansas are represented in Congress by:

Senator John Boozman (R_ AR)
1 Russell Courtyard
Washington DC, 20510
Phone: 202-224-4843
Senator Mark Pryor (D_ AR)
Phone 202_224_2353
FAX 202_228_0908
Representative Michael A. Ross (D _ 04)
Phone 202_225_3772
FAX 202_225_1314

Other states congresspersons can be found at: []

"He only profits from praise who values criticism." - Heinrich Heine

"People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone." - Audrey Hepburn

"The robbed that smiles, steals something from the thief." - William Shakespeare

"Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Genius ... means little more than the faculty of perceiving in an unhabitual way." - William James

"When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the Universe." - John Muir

"Let no man pull you low enough to hate him." - Martin Luther King Jr.
Breaking Christian News

Creative Victory for Christians in Santa Monica: Nativity Tradition Will Continue in Palisades Park
Aimee Herd : Dec 6, 2012 : The Nativity Project []

"We are so thankful that a Nativity Display will be seen in Palisades Park for a 60th Consecutive year." -Rev. Patrick Mahoney

EDITOR'S NOTE: In addition to the "Live" Nativity victory, the usual display of "life-size figurines" which are set in several booths depicting the birth of Jesus, has been moved to private property within Santa Monica, so that they too will be available for viewing beginning on Sunday, Dec. 9th. –Aimee Herd, BCN.

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GCF: Offering Plates

If this was forwarded to you, please consider your own subscription to Good Clean Fun. It's free! Just send an email to:

The church where I serve has a summer ministry at a chapel. At our first service last summer, the chairman of the board of deacons met me at the door with the information that there were no offering plates to be found. None of the men wore hats, and he thought it undignified to pass a shoe. He had tried to borrow something suitable from a house nearby, but no one was home. When I went to the chancel to begin the service, the problem was still unsolved.

Time came for the offering, and two ushers walked down the aisle wearing broad grins and carrying shiny receptacles. The deacon had resourcefully borrowed two hubcaps from a parishioner's car.
_ _____________________________________ _
GCF: Garden Walkway

The plan: To build a garden walkway made up of dozens of wooden squares. I decided I'd slice railroad ties into two-inch-thick pieces for the sections. That's what I told the clerk at the lumberyard.

"Do you have a power saw?" he asked.

"No," I said. "Can't I just use my hand saw?"

He nodded slowly. "You could. But I just have one question. How old do you want to be when you finish?"
_ _____________________________________ _
GCF: Cleaning Day

Saturday had always been "cleaning day" in at our house, and my mother still adhered to the ritual even after all her children had left the nest. When I stopped by to visit her one Saturday, I was surprised to find her relaxing in a favorite chair.

"Aren't you feeling well?" I asked.

"I feel fine."

"But you're not cleaning."

"After all these years I've finally figured out how to get it done in half the time," Mom told me. "I simply take off my glasses."
_ _____________________________________ _
GCF: Pain and Mishap

My wife, a registered nurse, once fussed over every pain or mishap that came my way. Recently, however, I got an indication that the honeymoon is over. I was about to fix the attic fan, and as I lifted myself from the ladder into the attic, I scratched my forehead on a crossbeam. Crawling along, I picked up splinters in both hands, and I cut one hand replacing the fan belt. On the way down the ladder, I missed the last two rungs and turned my ankle. When I limped into the kitchen, my wife took one look and said, "Are those your good pants?"
_ _____________________________________ _
GCF: Geriatric Cat

The vet prescribed daily tablets for our geriatric cat and after several battles my husband devised a way to give her the medication. It involved wrapping the cat in a towel, trapping her between his knees, forcing her mouth open and the positioning the pill on the back of her tongue. He was proud of his resourcefulness until one hectic session when he lost control of both cat and the medicine.
The cat leaped out of his grasp, paused to inspect the tablet, which had rolled across the floor, and then ate it.
_ _____________________________________ _
/ )| Thomas S. Ellsworth |( \
/ / | | \ \
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Wife texts her husband at work on a cold winter morning:

"Windows frozen."

Husband texts back: "pour some luke warm water over it."

Wife texts back: "computer completely screwed up now."

Thanks to Waneta
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They're Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
Remember in prayer the many that are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.
Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow..
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered...
The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM . All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM . Please use the back door.
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM . The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.

Thanks to Joe Mullins
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A while ago a new supermarket opened in Kingsport, TN.

It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh.
Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.

When you pass the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and you experience the scent of fresh mown hay.

In the meat department there is the aroma of charcoal-grilled steaks with onions.

When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle, and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.

The bread department features the tantalizing smell of fresh-baked bread and cookies.

I don't buy toilet paper there anymore.

Thanks to Gary Foreman
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As I was lying in bed pondering the problems of the world, I rapidly realized that it's the tortoise life for me!

1.. If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.

2.. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, and is fat.

3.. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years.

4.. A tortoise doesn't run and does nothing, yet it lives for 150 years.

And they tell us to exercise?? I don't think so.

I'm retired. Go around me.
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Now that I'm older here's what I've discovered:

1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and all-bran.

3. I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.

4. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

5. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

6. If all is not lost, where is it?

7. It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

8. Some days, you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant.

9. I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few.

10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.

11. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

12. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

13. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom.

14. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees.

15. When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone want to play chess?

16. It’s not hard to meet expenses . . . they're everywhere.

17. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter … I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm hereafter,

Thanks to Waneta
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As we progress through to the end of 2012, I want to thank you for your educational e-mails over the past year. I am totally screwed up now and have no chance of recovery.

I can no longer open a bathroom door without using a paper towel, nor let the waitress put lemon slices in my ice water without worrying about the bacteria on the lemon peel.

I can't sit down on a hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what has happened on it since it was last washed.

I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pastime while driving alone is picking one's nose.

Eating a little snack sends me on a guilt trip because I can only imagine how many gallons of trans fats I have consumed over the years.

I can't touch any woman's handbag for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public toilet.

I MUST SEND MY SPECIAL THANKS for the email about rat poo in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.

ALSO, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

I can't have a drink in a bar because I fear I'll wake up in a bathtub full of ice with my kidneys gone.

I can't eat at KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes, feet or feathers.

I can't use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

THANKS TO YOU I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

BECAUSE OF YOUR CONCERN, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer buy gas without taking someone along to watch the car, so a serial killer doesn't crawl in my back seat when I'm filling up.

I no longer use Cling Wrap in the microwave because it causes seven different types of cancer.

AND THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face, disfiguring me for life.

I no longer go to the cinema because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS when I sit down.

I no longer go to shopping centers because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

And I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a huge phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore and Uzbekistan.

THANKS TO YOU I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big black snake could be lurking under the seat and cause me instant death when it bites my butt.

can't do any gardening because I'm afraid I'll get bitten by the Violin Spider and my hand will fall off.

If you don't forward this to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 p.m. tomorrow afternoon, and the fleas from 120 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor’s ex mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's best friend's beautician . .

Oh, and by the way.....

A German scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mails with their hand on the mouse.

Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.

P. S. I now keep my toothbrush in the living room, because I was told by e-mail that water splashes over 6 ft. out of the toilet.


Thanks to Joe Mullins
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Why I Like Retirement !!!

Question: How many days in a week?
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday

Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

Question: How many retirees to change a light
Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.

Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.

Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
Answer: The term comes with a 10% discount.

Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
Answer: Tied shoes.

Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.

Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
Answer: NUTS!

Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.

Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer: Normal .

Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer: The never ending Coffee Break.

Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents. (And in Arkansas, they are FREE!

Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?
Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.

And, my very favorite....
QUESTION: What do you do all week?
Answer: Monday through Friday, NOTHING..... Saturday & Sunday, I rest.

Joe Mullins
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The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet: The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried over time but nobody could do it.

One day this scrawny little man came into the bar, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a tiny squeaky voice, "I'd like to try the bet."

After the laughter had died down, the bartender said OK, grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man. The crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass.

As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the $1000, and asked the little man "What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weight-lifter, or what?"

The man replied, "I work for the IRS."

Joe Mullins
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For all of you with any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks.

Watch for these consolidations in 2012:

1. Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W. R. Grace Co. will merge and become: Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.

2. Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and become: Poly, Warner Cracker.

3. 3M will merge with Goodyear and become: MMMGood.

4. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become: ZipAudiDoDa.

5. FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and become: FedUP.

6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become: Fairwell Honeychild.

7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become: PouponPants.

8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become: Knott NOW!

Thanks to Gary Foreman
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1. Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to scratch.

2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

3. Law of Probability -The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

5. Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

6. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

7. Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

8. Law of Close Encounters -The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

9. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

10. The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

11. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.

12. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

13. Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. But don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.

Joe Mullins
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Q: How many women with MENOPAUSE does it take to change a light bulb?

Woman's Answer: One!
ONLY ONE!!!! And do you know WHY? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don't even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT!! They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out. And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the stupid light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CABINET for the past 17 YEARS!


I'm sorry. What was the question?

Thanks to Gary Foreman
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Made Bed

My wife and I are teachers, and our jobs often spill over into our family life. One morning as our eight-year-old Maggie was getting ready for school, I peeked into her room to be sure she had tidied it up.

"You call THAT a made bed?" I asked.

"No, Dad," Maggie replied. "It's just a rough draft."

Received from Andychap.


Lost in Thought

Arriving back at the dorm late one evening, my roommate explained that she had gotten lost in the school library. No one was surprised since the library is large and has a confusing layout.

When I asked her how long it took her to find an exit, she admitted she hadn't actually found the exit herself. She'd used an emergency phone to call for help.

Puzzled, I asked, "How did your rescuers find you if you didn't know where you were?"

"Easy," she said. "I started reading titles of books around me, and they located my position from the card catalogue."

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.


Missed the Point

During my shift as a customer-service agent at Detroit Metro Airport, I was approached by a weeping woman who was so upset that I thought maybe she'd missed a connection or lost a child.

"I left my book on the plane!" she said frantically.

I assumed this had to be a rare first edition of some kind. "Okay," I said. "Just tell me the title of the book."

"It's called 'Don't Sweat the Small Stuff ... and It's All Small Stuff,'" she replied through her tears.

Received from Ed.



I got so excited when my husband expressed interest in my meditation sessions.

"You don't have to close your eyes," I explained. "You can keep them open and focus on something like a candle or a spot in front of you."

He nodded thoughtfully. "Could it be a TV?"

- from Tracey McCaughey (via Reader's Digest)

Received from Doc's Daily Chuckle.


Look Different

As a 30-year-old kindergarten teacher was talking to the children seated on the floor around her, she absentmindedly removed her glasses to clean them.

"Wow, Miss Collins!" one child exclaimed. "You look really different without your glasses on!"

Another child piped up, "I bet she looks different when she takes her teeth out, too!"

Received from ArcaMax Jokes.

Rate this funny at

Brought to you by The Good, Clean Funnies List A cheerful heart is good medicine... (Prov 17:22a) Mail address: GCFL, Box 100, Harvest, AL 35749, USA

To print or email this funny to others, go to

The latest GCFL funny can always be found on the web at
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Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Column - - Nobby Limerick

I learned a new word today: Nobby, which means elegant and stylish. Please don’t dress me down for using it in a limerick:

Nobby Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A chic woman arrived in the lobby
Of a shop that was known to be snobby.
But its nobby couture
Held for her no allure:
Sky-high hems don’t suit knees that are knobby.

© Madeleine Begun Kane. All Rights Reserved.
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The Pump Handle

First-of-its-kind survey compiles the experience of domestic workers, highlights the grim nature of an unregulated industry

Posted by The Pump Handle on December 7, 2012

The collective experience of domestic workers — house cleaners, nannies and caregivers — often remains hidden from view. But a new survey has pulled back the curtain on the conditions and experiences domestic workers face, documenting issues such as wage exploitation, preventable on-the-job injuries and the little — if any — power domestic workers have in improving their work environments.
Read the whole post []
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"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." __ Franklin D. Roosevelt
"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. _ _ George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" _ _ Queen E. Watson
“A political class of Republicans and Democrats that look after themselves, not the Nation. A media hostile to the very precepts of this nation. A generation of Americans who see morals as vices, and are ignorant of America's Actual History.”
"The things that will destroy America are prosperity-at-any-price, peace-at-any-price, safety-first instead of duty-first, the love of soft living, and the get-rich-quick theory of life." - - Theodore Roosevelt
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Emergency Phone Number 911
(Fire, Police, Ambulance, Sheriff, etc. )
Central Dispatch 234_5655
(Non _ Emergency Number)
Direct Numbers
Ambulance _ 234_7371 (24 Hour)
Jail _ 234_5331 (24 Hour)
Poison Control _ 800_222_1222 (24 Hour)
http://www. aapcc. org/
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Interested in getting in touch with the Banner_News through e_mail? For the editor, For news and sports items, Coming Events, Diary, Church News, school and civic events. []
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"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." __ "Bug"
"I read the end of the book. We win!" __ "Bug"
"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." __ "Bug"
"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." _ _ "Bug"
"It's no big deal doing what God tells you to do. A big deal would be NOT doing what God tells you to do. Just ask Jonah." _ _ Paul Troquille
“Nam et ipsa scientia potestas est.” Knowledge is power. _ Francis Bacon
"The problem is here and now. The time for talk is past. The time for action is now."
Comments on the first Earth Day _ James F. McClellan via John "Fuzzy" Thurman
Hope you enjoy the newsletter.
Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" __"Bug"
God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
God is Good and Faithful CU 73 IC JFM CSP NREMT_I KC5HII

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. We offer "Da Bleat" as text, a "Blog" and as a newsletter with pictures in Word and PDF format. The latest issue is usually updated sometime Saturday. For the latest issue, go to We also have a site [] where we post photos that I like.
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James F. McClellan
Editor/Publisher "Bug's Bleat"
418 North Jefferson Street
Magnolia, Arkansas 71753
(Phone) 870_234_7028

"The problem is here and now. The time for talk is past. The time for action is now."
Comments on the first Earth Day _ James F. McClellan via "Fuzzy" Thurman

Remember McClellan's Rules

1. Rejoice in that this is the will of the Lord concerning you.
If that doesn't seem to be working, remember;
2. All things work together for the good of them who love the Lord.
If that doesn't seem to be working, remember;
3. All things are subject to change.
And finally;
4. Don't let the son of a guns get you down!

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