Saturday, August 25, 2012

Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Sistine Chapel

Volume 14, Issue 34 Saturday, August 25, 2012

Ethan and Josiah watch Garfield in 3D

Lunch on the "Daniel Fast"

Sunrise in our neighborhood.

The Wife Of My Youth's Lovely Hands

Hello ALL,

The Cameo has closed. Our Magnolia Economic Development Corporation chairman, Mike Boyd, said he’s concerned about losing the Cameo; “(This) tells me that our quality of life issues are not getting better,” Boyd said.

The simple truth is that small theaters may go the way of the Buggy Whip. It takes approximately $75,000 per screen to upgrade to digital projectors as all theaters will be required to do over the next couple of years. This is because large Movie studios are transitioning out of 35 mm film prints that are used in most of these small theater projectors. But many, if not almost all, of these theaters are just breaking even, if that. The last time I saw a “packed house” at the Cameo was a sponsored showing of “Courageous.” [] Most of the time I’ve been there it was sort of lonely in the theater.

I don’t think anyone hates to see the Cameo close more than I do. But it’s going to take more that rhetoric to keep these theaters going. Many small towns have started partially funding their theaters. That’s probably the only way to keep these “quality of life” venues going in the short term.
As a “Baby Boomer” Neil Armstrong was one of my heroes. And he was also an example of the best kind of hero. He did his job, probably better than anyone else could have and, after completing the first landing and walk on the moon, retired into a quiet life of teaching. Eschewing the fame that sought him.

Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin on the Lunar Surface.

Astronaut Neil Armstrong, who took a giant leap for mankind when he became the first person to walk on the moon, has died at the age of 82, his family said on Saturday.
Armstrong died following complications from heart-bypass surgery he underwent earlier this month, the family said in a statement.

As commander of the Apollo 11 mission, Armstrong became the first human to set foot on the moon on July 20, 1969. As he stepped on the dusty surface, Armstrong said: "That's one small step for (a) man, one giant leap for mankind."
My favorite Neil Armstrong quote was his response to a reporter asking him how he was preparing physically for the upcoming mission. The reporter recounted how many of Neil’s fellow astronauts were actively running each day to maintain fitness. Neil replied; “I don’t run, I think God only gives us so many heartbeats and I don’t want to waste any.”

By the way, when Neil stepped onto the lunar surface, I was running projectors at the Rocket Drive In, straining to see the fuzzy, snowy image of the act on a borrowed portable TV with “Rabbit Ears.”

Where were you at?

God Rest and God Speed Neil Armstrong.
A friend wrote to comment on my "To Lie Or Not To Confess" posting from last week.
On "expanding" stories: As any real story-teller knows intuitively, the truth of a story does not lie in the mere chronological recounting of bare events--any narrative worth its salt ties into connotative realms in relation to whole other areas of one's life, experience and perceptions that inform the story with meaning and color the bare narrative in emotional spectra that demand its expansion into what one may call a meta-narrative which invokes subcategories of narrative which may not have literally occurred within the time-stream of the "bare bones" narrative, but which said narrative requires in order to relate to a listener the general emotional import or value of the story as it occurs to the teller, rendering the "literal" truth as, effectively, a lie in the absence of these elements. A True Story must be told in two times, the time in which the literal story occurred, augmented narratively by other events which did not occur in the same time-stream, but which must be recounted as if both occurred simultaneously. as one must use both eyes to see binocularly, in all three dimensions.

This may be called the "Bi-Synchronous" (or BS) factor in storytelling. I suspect that Annette recognizes it as such, and has even accurately labeled it as such in the past.

God bless, and keep those bi-synchronous connotationally-augmented narratives coming!
Protecting The Guilty
This week, a “Dear Abby” had a question about whether or not to point out someone’s dressing error and if you do talk to them, how you should go about it.

Seems the writer was at a public event and saw that the woman in front of was showing a significant portion of her derriere. She said that several folks around her took photos of the skin show and posted them to facebook.

Abby replied that the message of exposed skin should be conveyed quietly with compassion. The woman having the “problem” would probably have appreciated knowing so she could adjust her clothing.
This reminded me of a time, years and years ago, when I was still photographing weddings. This particular one was in Waldo and I went ahead to start setting up. The “Wife Of My Youth,” who was my number one helper at the time, planned to follow me after she’d dropped the kids off at my mother’s.

On her way to Waldo, she realized that she had time to stop by ________ (name withheld to protect the guilty) for a quick visit. To further set the stage, this was back in the day of simple “shifts” with nylon zippers in the back.

Arriving at the church after her visit, she noticed that many of the pews were already full as she walked down front to sit on the far right, prepared to pass me lenses, or anything else I might need.

As she sat down, a lady in the row behind leaned forward and said; “Sweetheart, your zipper is gaped open.” Annette quickly felt the back of her dress and was mortified to discover that the zipper had sprung and was open from her shoulder blades to her waist.

She jumped up, turning as she did and backed up the aisle to the front of the church where the choir room was. Having these particular zippers pop open wasn’t totally unexpected and the fix was to unzip it and then rezip it. Slipping in the choir room, she reached back and simply unzipped the dress and zipped it back up. It held this time. Problem solved.

After the wedding, she went back by ________ (name withheld to protect the guilty) and was recounting how she’d found her dress unzipped when she sat down in the church.

________ (name withheld to protect the guilty) told her; “I know that must have been terrible. I noticed that your dress was unzipped when you came by earlier, but I hesitated to say anything. I didn’t want to embarrass you.” …
Lee Jones was one of Magnolia’s “Characters.” As I was told it, Lee was sickened at about 4 years old and it stopped his mental development. In the ’50s, Lee sometimes slept in the CITGO Station at the corner of Main and Jackson and earned money by selling pencils and/or gum around the square. His earnings were used to buy “luxuries” like socks and handkerchiefs. He ate free in the restaurants around the square.

His sales office was a cigar box he wore on a string around his neck. When he wanted something, he’d go to my mother or one of the other folks on the square and have them make a sign for him to put on his Cigar box. The sign would read something like; “Lee Wants A Hat.” Folks would buy gum and such from him until he had enough money to get the item he desired.

Lee’s attire was normally a modified deputy sheriff’s uniform. He had a real nice set of cap pistols and a big tin badge. But he also had other uniforms from time to time. On one occasion, he came to town dressed in a new set of army fatigues, complete with “pillbox” hat. That was before Interstate highways and US 79 and US 82 were major arteries across the US. This particular day, a military convoy was traveling through town and had put “Road Guards” at the major intersections to ensure no one got lost.

Lee watched this operation and somehow produced the uniform. Then he set up at the 79 82 intersection and proceeded to turn the convoy south on US 79. Quite a few trucks had already turned south before an officer in a jeep came back down the convoy route looking for the lost trucks. My dad, Tamey Duke, heard the commotion and helped several local folks rescue Lee from the clutches of the ARMY MPs.

On another occasion, Lee was credited with capture of a burglar. As I said, he was sleeping in the CITGO Station, in the chair behind the counter. This burglar had “jimmied” the lock in the front door and was creeping into the office when Lee woke. He stood up to stretch and scared the burglar, who only had time to see the guns (cap guns) and badge. The guy was so frightened that he turned and ran through the large plate glass window in the front of the station. The police found him lying on the sidewalk bleeding from numerous cuts.
I’m not the only person with memories of Lee;

Mary Tullie Critcher writes “When I was a little girl, Lee slept at the old bus station. Many in Magnolia did help Lee over the years, but no one as much as James' family and the Chatterbox. Lee was a part of my childhood and I know those older (that are not on facebook) could really tell lots about the earlier days.”

Lynelle Warren “He also walked around the square selling his candies, etc. When I was a senior in high school I worked at the Sterling's Store on Saturdays, and he would visit our candy counter, too. I always bought gum from him. He would tell us we "better be good or I will arrest you!" :)”

Sandy Dodson Tomlin “Everyone loved Lee Jones. He always had a comical look on his face and was dead serious about selling his gum and candy. I think I might have told this before (pardon if I have) but one time a bunch had gotten together at our house and was playing dominoes. Lee came to our house and after he left some of the dominoes was missing. A few minutes later a policeman drove up and got Lee out of the car. He made Lee return the dominoes to my Daddy and apologize which was a deep groan from Lee!! LOL Apparently he thought my Daddy was gambling or doing something illegal so he took proof with him!! My Daddy laughed about that for years, he said Lee really was a deputy. Everyone Loved and protected Lee!!”
In the late ‘60s Lee was awarded Social Security Disability and my mother became his guardian. He started sleeping in a room at the Townhouse Motel. It was to that room we were called in the mid ‘70s when the clerk looked in the window and saw Lee laying on the floor of his room. It was about 2 am when my mother got the call and we went to the motel. The doctor later told us that it appeared Lee had died of a massive heart attack.

While cleaning up Lee’s room we discovered untold numbers of handkerchiefs and socks. I guess Lee just kept getting the stuff he liked, wither he needed it or not.
We tend to forget that perspective colors the way we see things. As a pre schooler, life at family gatherings was like wandering through Sherwood Forest. All those legs that towered up into the room could be confusing. I remember being at one event, holding on to my Uncle Cecil’s pants leg … until I heard him calling me and realized that he wasn’t in the pants I was holding on to. I mean, from down there, all adult men pretty much look alike.

The Forest of legs is one of my strongest memories of the day my dad died. I woke up and there was the Forest of legs around my bed. I quickly figured out that the “Forest” was my uncles’ legs.

Being a little confused, I asked where my mom was. They just all stood there. I remember that they all seemed to be in pain. Then my Uncle Paul, who was a man of very few words, squatted down and said; “James Fort, your mom’s in the back yard. Bud is dead.” (Everyone called my dad “Bud.”) Being only four, death didn’t hit me as hard as it would now. I said; “O.K. Can I go see my mom?” He nodded and took me out the back door.

We had a little three legged wooden stool and my mom was sitting on it, crying, surrounded by the women of the family. I went up and hugged her and that’s all I remember about that morning.

In the middle ‘50s, loss of a spouse was a real blow financially. Most companies didn’t have savings plans and life insurance was more geared to cover funeral costs. But, being part of a large extended family helped tremendously.

We moved in with my grandmother and my mom got a job in Magnolia. And my uncles (and older cousins) were patient to take up some of the slack that came with being a fatherless child during that time. Uncle Paul in particular was patient to the extreme with me, tearing up his stuff and generally getting into trouble like a little boy can. And my older cousins taught me to ride a bike, tie my shoes and shoot a gun.

So, even though I still got “lost in the forest” occasionally, I had folks to find me and lead me home.
I’m reading “Farm City” by Novella Carpenter. It’s a fun read that I enjoy sharing passages with Annette and the family.
Speaking of entertainment, we watched “The Hunger Games” this week. It was a good action, romance, etc.

A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office. 'Is it true,' she wanted to know, ‘that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life??’
'Yes, I'm afraid so,' the doctor told her.
There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, I’m wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'.'

An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, Perform the operation.
As he was about to get the anesthesia, He asked to speak to his son 'Yes, Dad, what is it? '
'Don't be nervous, son; Do your best and just remember, If it doesn't go well,
If something happens to me, your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife....'

Aging: Eventually you will reach a point When you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it. This is so true. I love to hear them say "you don't look that old."

The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

Some people try to turn back their odometers.
Not me! I want people to know 'why' I look this way.
I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, Think of Algebra.

You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.
Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
First you forget names, and then you forget faces.
Then you forget to pull up your zipper.
It's worse when you forget to pull it down.
I called a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy.

A few days later, in his office, the Doctor showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis.

Then the Doctor explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner.

I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said, because my brain was shrieking, 'HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP MY BEHIND!'

I left the Doctor office with some written instructions, and a prescription for a product called 'MoviPrep,' which comes in a box large enough to hold a microwave oven. I will discuss MoviPrep in detail later; for now suffice it to say that we must never allow it to fall into the hands of America’s enemies.

I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous.

Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation. In accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat any solid food that day; all I had was chicken broth, which is basically water, only with less flavor.

Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep. You mix two packets of powder together in a one-liter plastic jug, and then you fill it with lukewarm water. (For those unfamiliar with the metric system, a liter is about 32 gallons). After mixing, you have to drink the whole jug. This takes about an hour, because MoviPrep tastes - and here I am being kind - like a mixture of goat spit and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon...

The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a great sense of humor, state that after you drink it, 'a loose, watery bowel movement may result.'

This is kind of like saying that after you jump off your roof, you may experience contact with the ground.

MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I don't want to be too graphic, here, but, have you ever seen a space-shuttle launch? This is pretty much the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle. There are times when you wish the commode had a seat belt. You spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting violently. You eliminate everything. And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another liter of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet.

After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep.

The next morning my wife drove me to the clinic. I was very nervous. Not only was I worried about the procedure, but I had been experiencing occasional return bouts of MoviPrep spurtage. I was thinking, 'What if I spurt on the Doctor?' How do you apologize to a friend for something like that? Flowers would not be enough.

At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I understood and totally agreed with whatever the heck the forms said. Then they led me to a room full of other colonoscopy people, where I went inside a little
curtained space and took off my clothes and put on one of those hospital garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that, when you put it on, makes you feel even more naked than when you are actually naked...

Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left hand. Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was very good, and I was already lying down. Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in their
MoviPrep. At first I was ticked off that I hadn't thought of this, but then I pondered what would happen if you got yourself too tipsy to make it to the bathroom, so you were staggering around in full Fire Hose Mode.
You would have no choice but to burn your house.

When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the procedure room, where the Doctor was waiting with a nurse and an anesthesiologist. I did not see the 17,000-foot tube, but I knew the Doctor had it hidden around there somewhere. I was seriously nervous at this point. The Doctor had me roll over on my left side, and the anesthesiologist began hooking something up to the needle in my hand.

There was music playing in the room, and I realized that the song was 'Dancing Queen' by ABBA. I remarked to the Doctor that, of all the songs that could be playing during this particular procedure, 'Dancing Queen' had to be the least appropriate.

'You want me to turn it up?' said the Doctor, from somewhere behind me.

'Ha ha,' I said. And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for more than a decade. If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like.

I have no idea. Really. I slept through it. One moment, ABBA was yelling 'Dancing Queen, feel the beat of the tambourine,' and the next moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood.

The Doctor was looking down at me and asking me how I felt. I felt excellent. I felt even more excellent when the Doctor told me that It was all over, and that my colon had passed with flying colors. I have never been prouder of an internal organ.

On the subject of Colonoscopies... which are certainly no joke … A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients while he was performing their colonoscopies:

1. 'Find Amelia Earhart yet?'

2. 'Can you hear me NOW?'

3. 'Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?'

4. 'You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married.'

5. 'Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?'

6. 'Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!'

7. 'Let me know if you find my dignity.'

8. 'Could you write a note for my wife saying that you didn’t find my head in there?'

Thanks to Joe Mullins
Quotes from one of my favorite folks, Nancee Davis Law:
When one door closes, another door opens... Just don't spend your life in the hallway.

If you're going through hell, keep going. ~Winston Churchill

"Only God is in a position to look down on anyone"

You will never have a better tomorrow if you can't let go of yesterday

No amount of coffee will ever make me a morning person
As featured on - - Ten Toe Tips for Healthy Feet

Dressed up, dressed down, propped up or running around town, feet bear the brunt of our hectic Lives. Take care to make sure you have healthy feet that stay at their best at all times.

Wash your feet in warm water every day. - - Make sure the water is not too hot by testing the temperature with your elbow. Try not to soak your feet but if you do, do not soak them for more than 3 to 4 minutes. Soaking causes macerated skin, which breaks down more easily and doesn't heal well. Also, dry your feet well, especially between your toes.

Check your feet every day. - - Look for cuts, sores, blisters, redness, calluses, or other possible injury or signs of excessive rubbing or pressure from shoes. Checking every day is even more important if you have nerve damage or poor blood flow. If you cannot bend over or pull your feet up to check them, use a
mirror. If you cannot see well, ask someone else to check your feet. Contact your physician
immediately if any of these signs are found.

If your skin is dry, rub lotion on your feet after you wash and dry them. - - Do not put lotion between your toes. Lubricate the entire foot. Suitable lubricants include olive oil, any vegetable oil, vitamin E oil, emu oil, mink oil, and emulsified lanolin. Many oils and lotions that contain products as major ingredients are available commercially. Do not use petroleum jelly (Vaseline), mineral oil, or baby oil. These products are not absorbed by the skin. The exception to this would be if you swim regularly for exercise.
Before getting in the water, rub petroleum jelly on your feet to protect them from the water.
After leaving the water, remove the petroleum jelly with a towel. If the skin of your feet is dry, your cardiologist should try to avoid medicines called beta blockers for hypertension or heart disease, as these can inhibit perspiration that moistens the feet.

Cut your toenails regularly. - - Ideally, your podiatrist will be the one to do this for you in order to be as safe as possible. If you do choose to do it yourself, cut the toenails when they are soft from washing. Shape them to your toe and not too short. File the edges with an emery board. Do not trim your toenails if you cannot see them clearly. Ask a friend or relative, podiatrist, or your physician to do this for you. If you have thickened toenails, ask your physician to have clippings tested for fungal infection.

Do not attempt to file down, remove, or shave calluses or corns. - - The toughened skin of a callus is the body's way of protecting against irritation, such as by a shoe that rubs your foot. Filing it off removes that protection, and is often the initial cause of foot ulcers and resultant amputations. If calluses are present, show them to your physician. Ask him/her or a podiatrist to arrange for your shoes to be stretched, prescribe special shoes, or prescribe orthotic inserts. Your physician may instruct you in the use of a shoe stretcher or a
“ball and ring,” both of which can be ordered by a shoe repair shop. By eliminating the
pressure on your foot, the callus should resolve over time.

Never walk barefoot. - - We know you want to tiptoe through the tulips, but the reward may not be worth the risk to your healthy feet. Always wear shoes or slippers to protect your feet from injuries. Make sure
your shoes fit well. In the warm weather, don't wear sandals with thongs between the toes. In the warm weather, wear warm socks and shoes of adequate size. And try to alternate at least two different pairs of shoes every few days. It is wise for all people with diabetes to have the circulation in their feet measured every few years. If circulation is impaired, do not remain in the cold for more than twenty minutes at a time.

Always wear socks or stockings to avoid blisters. - - Do not wear socks or knee-high stockings that so tight below your knee that they cause visible depressions in the skin. Don't use garters. Don't wear socks with holes or those that have been darned, have thick seams, or are so large that they bunch up.

Before putting your shoes on, check inside. - - Feel the insides to make sure they have no sharp edges or objects that might injure your feet.
Inspect your shoes daily for foreign objects, torn lining, protruding nails, or bumps. Have them repaired if you find any of these.

Do not smoke cigarettes. - - Yes, this relates to your feet. Nicotine can cause closure of the valves that permit blood to enter the small vessels that nourish the skin. The result? Neuropathy, or nerve damage.

Keep your doctor in the loop - - Call your physician immediately if you experience any injury to your foot. Even a minor foot injury to be an emergency, so don't procrastinate. With some routine care and diligence, you can have healthy feet for a lifetime.

1 — Bernstein, Dr. Richard. 1997. Dr. Bernstein's Diabetes Solution, Revised and Updated The Complete Guide to Achieving Normal Blood Sugars. New York: Little, Brown and Company.
2 — National Diabetes Information Clearinghouse. Prevent diabetes problems: Keep your feet and skin healthy. (Accessed 03/09).

AskBob - Geekly Update - 24 August 2012 - August 24, 2012

Is Webster dropping the F-bomb on the next edition of their popular dictionary? Will eBay be cursed for nixing hexes and magic? And what not-so-shocking revelation is being reported in the 'Did We Really Need a Survey To Tell Us That' category? Get answers to these burning questions, and the scoop on the latest tech news, in this edition of the Geekly Update. It's guaranteed to make you 146% smarter, read on...[]
The latest from Michael Yon, the foremost “milnews” blogger on the web.

It is clear that this war will end poorly. Time to cut losses. [].

Michael Yon
Chiang Mai

PS Please sign up for my updates at "Michael_Yon" [] (not Michael Yon).

You can sign up on my Face book [] for daily updates.

Please remember that this website accepts no advertisement and is dependent on your support.
If you would like to encourage US Troops overseas, but are not sure just how to begin, visit for ideas.
It's amazing how your life can change in an instant.

"Chump Ump" Saves Woman's Life - - [] - - Two years ago, umpire Jim Joyce blew a call that cost major league pitcher Armando Galarraga baseball immortality. On Monday, Joyce made a call that saved a woman's life.

16-Year-Old Completes Bucket List - - [] - - Young Alice Pyne put together a wish list last year when she found out she didn't have long to live. With the help of strangers, she's packed more into this last year than most people do in a lifetime.
Photos on the front of this week’s “Bleat” include - - Ethan watching the 3D Garfield Movie, Lunch on the Daniel Fast, Sunrise in our neighborhood, the lovely hands of the Wife Of My Youth.
For the latest issue of "Da Bleat" go to
Our photos are posted at
Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
BreakPoint - - Chuck Colson has passed away, but the work God gave him lives on.
Sticks and Stones
Unintended Consequences
By: John Stonestreet|Published: August 24, 2012

So is it really true that sticks and stones can break our bones, but words can never hurt us? Find out next. Stay tuned for BreakPoint!

John Stonestreet

We’ve all heard that children’s saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” But it’s just not true. Clearly, Todd Akin’s poorly chosen words hurt others. And it’s also possible that poorly chosen words not only hurt, but can incite physical violence as well.

I say this in the wake of the frightening attack on the Washington, D.C. offices of the conservative Family Research Council by a lone gunman who shouted something to the effect of, “I don’t like your politics,” before shooting a building manager in the arm with a 9 mm handgun.

In his backpack, along with more ammunition, was a collection of sandwiches from Chick-fil-A, the focus of national attention only a couple of weeks earlier. Two big-city mayors hung out the “not welcome” sign for the fast-food chain when its owner, Dan Cathy, spoke up in favor of one-man, one-woman marriage. The shooting came a day after the gay-rights group Human Rights Campaign labeled the FRC a hate group. And of course the Southern Poverty Law Center has long called the FRC a hate group.

But liberal columnist Dana Milbank of the Washington Post is troubled by the cavalier way that liberal groups attempt to smear conservative groups like FRC. According to Milbank, labeling “a policy shop that advocates for a full range of conservative Christian positions, as a hate group is “reckless.” He says, “it’s absurd to put the group, as the law center does, in the same category as the Aryan Nations, Knights of the Ku Klux Klan, Stormfront and the Westboro Baptist Church.”

Well, it’s not only absurd; it’s potentially dangerous. Now, we can’t say that a particular statement causes a troubled person to go off the rails. But the fact is, we live in dangerous times, when it doesn’t take much to set off unstable people in our broken, sin-scarred world—as we’ve seen recently in Aurora, Wisconsin, and our nation’s capital.

The sad fact is, demonizing the Family Research Council or even Chick-fil-A can lead to unintended consequences. As Milbank says, “there are unbalanced and potentially violent people of all political persuasions. The rest of us need to be careful about hurling accusations that can stir up the crazies.” The President has called for civility in the past and needs to do so again.

But whatever words the critics hurl at us, we Christians must continue to speak the truth, even in the face of hate. Our confused society needs truth, the whole truth, nothing but the truth. That’s why our friend Chuck Colson put together the Manhattan Declaration, to uphold the sanctity of human life, religious liberty, and one-man-one-woman marriage—even though he knew that those who present the biblical worldview on these vital issues can and have become rhetorical targets.

But, as Chuck reminded us, we must speak that truth in love. Christians should set the standard for keeping a cool head and demonstrating by words and actions that we care about all people.

My friends Eric Metaxas and Joe Loconte join me this weekend on BreakPoint this Week to talk about this. Joe’s new book The Searchers has earned him spots recently on national media like CNN and MSNBC. And each time, Joe demonstrated the sort of informed, courageous winsomeness that we need more of. Eric and I talk with Joe about how to do this every day – especially with our relatives and friends. I hope you’ll listen, and I hope you’ll pick up Joe’s book, along with the e-book of Eric’s legendary speech at the National Prayer Breakfast, by coming to Click on this commentary. Both of these books are on sale this weekend.
Our Lord Jesus said we must treat others—even those who unfairly put us on the level of the KKK—as we wish to be treated. This may or may not win over those who hate us, but this isn’t just about civility. It’s just what Christians must do.

Further Reading and Information

Jesus Hates Dead Religion
Eric Metaxas | Thomas Nelson Publishers, e-book []

The Searchers: A Quest for Faith in the Valley of Doubt
Joseph Loconte | Thomas Nelson Publishers | June 2012 []

Dana Milbank: Hateful speech on hate groups
Dana Milbank | The Washington Post | August 16, 2012 []

“He Said Something About Not Liking FRC’s Policies”: Domestic Terrorism Against the Family Research Council
Timothy Dalrymple | | August 15, 2012 []

The Manhattan Declaration []

Copyright © 2012 Prison Fellowship. All Rights Reserved
Residents of Columbia County, Arkansas are represented in Congress by:
Senator John Boozman (R_ AR)
1 Russell Courtyard
Washington DC, 20510
Phone: 202-224-4843
Senator Mark Pryor (D_ AR)
Phone 202_224_2353
FAX 202_228_0908
Representative Michael A. Ross (D _ 04)
Phone 202_225_3772
FAX 202_225_1314
Other states congresspersons can be found at: []
"The way to get started is to stop talking and begin doing." - Walt Disney

"He who postpones the hour of living rightly is like the rustic who waits for the river to run out before he crosses." - Horace

"We have a 'strategic' plan. It's called doing things." - Herb Kelleher

"The man who trims himself to suit everybody will soon whittle himself away." - Charles Schwab

"When the best leader's work is done the people say, "We did it ourselves". - Lao Tzu

"We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time." - T.S. Eliot

Stephen Baldwin to the Rescue - - [] - - Teresa Neumann (Aug 20, 2012)
The actor publicly prayed for a woman who suffered a sudden seizure.
Read Full Story []

Prayer Alert: Young Christian Pakistani Girl Arrested and Accused of Blasphemy against Koran - - Aimee Herd (Aug 21, 2012)
Rimsha's relatives say she has Down syndrome, although the International Christian Concern (ICC) report could not yet verify her mental state. She was, however, said to be "scared and unable to speak normally" when she was arrested.
Read Full Story []
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GCF: If this was forwarded to you, please consider your own subscription to Good Clean Fun. It's free! Just send an email to:
GCF: Sistine Chapel

A young woman, pursuing a graduate degree in art history, was going to Italy to study that country's greatest works of art. Since there was no one to look after her grandmother while she was away, she took the old lady with her.

At the Sistine Chapel in the Vatican, she pointed to the painting on the ceiling.

"Grandma, it took Michelangelo a full four years to get that ceiling painted."

"Oh my, "the grandmother says. "He and I must have the same landlord."
_ _______________ _
GCF: Soak Your Feet

A New York retail clerk was suffering from aching feet.

"It's all those years of standing," his doctor declared. "You need a vacation. Go to Miami, soak your feet in the ocean and you'll feel better."

When the man got to Florida, he went into a hardware store, bought two large buckets and headed for the beach.

"How much for two buckets of that seawater?" he asked the lifeguard.

"A dollar a bucket," the fellow replied with a straight face.

The clerk paid him, filled his buckets, went to his hotel room and soaked his feet. They felt so much better he decided to repeat the treatment that afternoon. Again he handed the lifeguard two dollars.
The young man took the money and said, "Help yourself."

The clerk started for the water, then stopped in amazement. The tide was out.

"Wow," he said, turning to the lifeguard. "Some business you got here!"
_ _______________ _
GCF: New Computer

Last week my wife and I purchased a new computer. We ran into some difficulties while setting it up so we called the customer support phone number we found in the manual.

I picked up the phone and called the number. A man answered the phone and I explained the problem to him.

He began rattling off computer jargon. This confused us even more.

"Sir," I said politely, "Can you explain what I should do as if I
were a small child?"

"Okay," the computer support guy said, "Son, could you please put
your mommy on the phone?"
_ _______________ _
GCF: Half-and-Half

At the grocery store a cashier held up a small dairy carton and yelled to a co-worker, "How much is half-and-half?"

Without a moment's hesitation the other cashier replied, "One."
_ _______________ _
GCF: Fool Me Once

Fool me once, shame on you.

Fool me twice, shame on me.

Fool me 350,000 times, you are the weather forecaster.
_ _______________ _
GCF: Jury Deliberation

A defendant was on trial for murder. There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there was no corpse. In the defense's closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted, resorted to a trick: "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all," the lawyer said as he looked at his
watch. "Within one minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into this courtroom."

He looked toward the courtroom door. The jurors, somewhat stunned, all looked on eagerly. A minute passed. Nothing happened.

Finally the lawyer said, "Actually, I made up the previous statement.
But you all looked on with anticipation. I therefore put it to you that there is reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone was killed and insist that you return a verdict of not guilty."

The jury, clearly confused, retired to deliberate. A few minutes later, the jury returned and pronounced a verdict of guilty. "But how?" inquired the lawyer. "You must have had some doubt; I saw all of you stare at the door." The jury foreman replied: "Oh, we did look, but your client didn't."
_ _______________ _
GCF: Pretty Dress

A co-worker returned after lunch carrying a dress from the cleaners.

"Pretty dress," said one of the guys. "Big date tonight?"

"I picked it up for a friend," she replied, adding, "Do you really think I could fit in a tiny thing like this?"

He smiled and said, "Do you really think I've lived this long by answering questions like that?"
_ _______________ _
GCF: Wrong Airport

Three-year-old Sean was playing with his food on his plate.

His father, an airline pilot, picked up Sean's spoon, put some peas on it and said, "Zoom, zoom. Open your hangar. Here comes an airplane."

Sean clenched his teeth and then said, "Wrong airport, Daddy."
_ _______________ _
(You parents will relate to this and I can tell you from personal experience that every word is true!)

GCF: Children Are Really Dogs and Cats

I just realized that while children are dogs - loyal and affectionate - teenagers are cats. It's so easy to be a dog owner. You feed it, train it, boss it around. It puts it's head on your knee and gazes at you as if you were a Rembrandt painting. It bounds indoors with enthusiasm when you call it.

Then around age 13, your adoring little puppy turns into a big old cat. When you tell it to come inside, it looks amazed, as if wondering who died and made you emperor. Instead of dogging your doorsteps, it disappears. You won't see it again until it gets hungry -- then it pauses on its sprint through the kitchen long enough to turn its nose up at whatever you're serving. When you reach out to ruffle its head, in that old affectionate gesture, it twists away from you, then gives you a blank stare, as if trying to remember where it has seen you before.

You, not realizing that the dog is now a cat, think something must be desperately wrong with it. It seems so antisocial, so distant, sort of depressed. It won't go on family outings. Since you're the one who raised it, taught it to fetch and stay and sit on command, you assume that you did something wrong. Flooded with guilt and fear, you redouble your efforts to make your pet behave.

Only now you're dealing with a cat, so everything that worked before now produces the opposite of the desired result. Call it, and it runs away. Tell it to sit, and it jumps on the counter. The more you go toward it, wringing your hands, the more it moves away.

Instead of continuing to act like a dog owner, you can learn to behave like a cat owner. Put a dish of food near the door, and let it come to you. But remember that a cat needs your help and your affection too. Sit still, and it will come, seeking that warm, comforting lap it has not entirely forgotten. Be there to open the door for it.

One day your grown-up child will walk into the kitchen, give you a big kiss and say, "You've been on your feet all day. Let me get those dishes for you."

Then you'll realize your cat is a dog again.

(Author Unknown)
_ _______________ _
GCF: Are You Hurt?

A policeman arrives at the scene of an accident, in which a car smashed into a tree. The cop rushes over to the vehicle and asks the driver, "Are you seriously hurt?"

"How do I know?" the driver responds. "I'm not a lawyer!"
_ _______________ _
GCF: Bumpers

Most people hate to parallel park. The other day, I saw this woman trying to get out of a tight parking space. She bumped the car in front, then backed up and hit the car behind her. This went on about two minutes.

I walked over to see if I could somehow help. My offer was declined.
She said, "Why have bumpers if you're not going to use them once in a while?"
_ _______________ _
GCF: Beauty Mask

One morning, when my son was about 3 years-old, he saw me putting on a pale green face-mask. (Something I rarely do.)

"What 'ou doin'?" he said.

"I'm putting on a face mask," I replied.

"What it for?" he asked.

"It's to make Mommy look more beautiful," I told him.

He stood looking at me in that considering way that small children have, then said as gently as possible, "Well ... it doesn't."
_ _______________ _
GCF: Perfectly Made

When we put our house up for sale, I stressed emphatically that my sons make their beds each morning. I left for work before they left for school, and I wanted to be sure that the house looked presentable when the agent showed it to prospective buyers.

I was surprised and impressed that my 15-year-old son's bed was perfectly made each day. One night when I went into his room, I discovered his secret.

He was fast asleep on the floor in his sleeping bag.
_ _______________ _
/ )| Thomas S. Ellsworth |( \
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On the first day, God created the dog and said:

'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.'

The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?'

So God agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said:

'Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span.'

The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?'

And God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow and said:

'You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.'

The cow said: 'That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years.. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?'

And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created humans and said:

'Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years.'

But the human said: 'Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?'

'Okay,' said God, 'You asked for it.'

So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family.. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren.. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Thanks to Waneta
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(A) The number of physicians in the U.S. is 700,000.
(B) Accidental deaths caused by Physicians per year are 120,000.
(C) Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171

Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept of Health and Human Services.
(A) The number of gun owners in the U.S. is
80,000,000. (Yes, that's 80 million)
(B) The number of accidental gun deaths per year, all age groups, is 1,500.
(C) The number of accidental deaths per gun owner is .000188

Statistics courtesy of FBI
So, statistically, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners.
Remember, 'Guns don't kill people, doctors do.'
Almost everyone has at least one doctor.
This means you are over 900 times more likely to be killed by a doctor as a gun owner!!!
Please alert your friends to this alarming threat. We must ban doctors before this gets completely out of hand!!!!!
Out of concern for the public at large, I withheld the statistics on lawyers for fear the shock would cause people to panic and seek medical attention!

Thanks to Waneta
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Bubba and Johnny Ray were sittin' on the front porch when a large truck hauling rolls and rolls of sod went by.
"I'm gonna do dat when I win the lottery," said Bubba.
"Do what?" asked Johnny Ray.
"Send my grass out to be mowed."

Thanks to Waneta
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The English language has some wonderfully anthropomorphic collective nouns for the various groups of animals.

We are all familiar with:
a Herd of cows
a Flock of chickens
a School of fish
a Gaggle of geese.

However, less widely known is:
a Pride of lions
a Murder of crows (as well as their cousins the rooks and ravens)
an Exaltation of doves (Larks too)
a Parliament of owls

Now consider a group of Baboons. They are the loudest, most dangerous, most obnoxious, most viciously aggressive and least intelligent of all primates. And what is the proper collective noun for a group of baboons? Believe it or not is a Congress!

I guess that pretty much explains the things that come out of Washington.

Thanks to Waneta
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Lazy Employee

The owner of a large factory decided to make a surprise visit and check up on his staff. Walking though the plant, he noticed a young man leaning lazily against a post.

"Just how much are you being paid a week?" said the owner angrily.

"Three hundred bucks," replied the young man.

Taking out a fold of bills from his wallet, the owner counted out $300, slapped the money into the boy's hands, and said, "Here's a week's pay -- now get out and don't come back!"

Turning to one of the supervisors, he said, "How long has that lazy bum been working here anyway?"

"He's not an employee," said the supervisor. "He was just here to deliver a pizza!"

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.


Sleeping In

A farm boy was drafted. On his first furlough, his father asked him what he thought of army life.

"It's pretty good, Pa. The food's not bad, the work's easy, but best of all, they let ya sleep real late in the morning."

Received from ArcaMax Jokes.


Groaner: The Bridge

John lived across the river from his backwoods neighbor, Clarence, and the two feuded constantly. They never missed a chance to throw rocks and yell insults over the water.

One day the Army Corps of Engineers came to build a bridge. John was elated and told his wife he was finally going to get his hands on Clarence.

When the bridge was finished, John headed off, but he returned a few minutes later. "I never realized how big that guy is," John said sheepishly to his wife. "I headed for the bridge, and then I saw the sign: 'Clarence - 8 feet, 4 inches.'"

Received from Stan Kegel.


Soak Your Feet in the Ocean

A New York retail clerk was suffering from aching feet. "It's all those years of standing," his doctor declared. "You need a vacation. Go to Miami, soak your feet in the ocean and you'll feel better."

When the man got to Florida, he went into a hardware store, bought two large buckets and headed for the beach.

"How much for two buckets of that seawater?" he asked the lifeguard.

"A dollar a bucket," the fellow replied with a straight face.

The clerk paid him, filled his buckets, went to his hotel room and soaked his feet. They felt so much better he decided to repeat the treatment that afternoon. Again he handed the lifeguard two dollars. The young man took the money and said, "Help yourself."

The clerk started for the water, then stopped in amazement. The tide was out.

"Wow," he said, turning to the lifeguard. "Some business you got here!"

Received from Becky Day.


Geology Degree

My parents scoffed, but I knew my college degree in geology would come in handy one day. It was during basic training, at Sheppard Field, Texas, and I was pulling KP duty. When the sergeant asked me what I did in civilian life, I proudly announced that I was a geologist.

"Good. I'm looking for someone with your background," he said, while dropping a bulging sack onto the table. "You've got just the right qualifications to pick the rocks out of this hundred pounds of beans."

Received from Doc's Daily Chuckle.


Chemistry Lesson

This was a story told to us by our chemistry professor at school. A student wished to make some potassium hydroxide solution (aqueous) and decided to throw a large lump of potassium into a bucket of water.

Out of the corner of his eye, the professor observed what the student was about to do and hurried over. After confirming this was what was intended, he asked the student to first stir the water in the bucket for five minutes before adding the potassium.

Puzzled, the student followed after him to ask the purpose of this action.

"It will give me time to get away!" said the professor.

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.


Escaped Lion

A man was walking along the street when he saw a crowd of people running toward him. He stopped one of the runners and asked, "What's happening?"

The runner replied breathlessly, "A lion has escaped from the city zoo."

"Oh no! Which way is it heading?"

"Well, you don't think we're chasing it, do you?"

Received from Becky Day.


Bank on Strike

Did you hear the one about the bank where the employees went on strike, leaving the bank officers to do the teller's tasks?

While the strike was on, a customer called the bank to ask if they were open.

They told her that they had two windows open.

Then the caller asked, "Can't I just come through the front door?"

Received from Doc's Daily Chuckle.


Getting Old

You Know You're Getting Old When ... find yourself standing next to your car with your keys in your hand, but you can't remember whether you're going somewhere or you just got back. walk out to the parking lot of the mall, and not only did you forget where you parked, but you also forgot what car you were driving.

...your daughter takes you out to dinner, and the cashier takes one look and gives you both senior discounts.

...everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work. reach down to pull up your wrinkled stockings and realize you don't have any on.

...when you raise your arm, and you find your "muscle" is now on the bottom side.

...when you have as students the grandchildren of your former students.

...when you sit down to the breakfast table, and the snap, crackle, pop you hear isn't your breakfast cereal.

...when you bend over to tie your shoes and ask yourself, "Is there anything else I need to do while I'm down here?"

"Inside every old person is a young one wondering what happened."

Received from Timothy Anger.


Computer Virus

A co-worker asked if I knew what to do about a computer problem that was preventing her from getting e-mail. After calling the help desk, I told my colleague that e-mail was being delayed to check for a computer virus.

"It's a variant of the I Love You virus, only worse," I said.

"What could be worse?" my single co-worker asked wryly. "The Let's Just Be Friends virus?"

Received from Clean-Laffs.



A preacher and a the president of a soap manufacturing company went for a walk together.

The president said, "What good is religion? Look at all the trouble and misery of the world! Still there, even after years, thousands of years, of teaching about goodness and truth and love and peace. Still there, after all the sermons and teachings. If religion is good and true, why should this be?"

The preacher said nothing.

They continued walking until he noticed a child playing in the gutter. Then the preacher said, "Look at that child. You say that soap makes people clean, but see the dirt on that youngster. Of what good is soap? With all the soap in the world, over all these years, the child is still filthy. I wonder how effective soap is, after all!"

The president of the soap company protested, "But preacher, soap can't do any good unless it is used!"

"Exactly," replied the preacher. "Exactly."

Received from Andychap.


Drinking, Gambling, and Golf

A man was walking in the city, when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking bum who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.

The man took out his wallet, extracted two dollars, and asked, "If I gave you this money, will you take it and buy whiskey?"

"No, I stopped drinking years ago," the bum said.

"Will you use it to gamble?"

"I don't gamble. I need everything I can get just to stay alive."

"Will you spend the money on greens fees at a golf course?"

"Are you NUTS! I haven't played golf in 20 years!"

The man said, "Well, I'm not going to give you two dollars.
Instead, I'm going to take you to my home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."

The bum was astounded.

"Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty bad."

The man replied, "That's okay. I just want her to see what a man looks like who's given up drinking, gambling, and golf."

Received from ArcaMax Jokes.


Brake Fluid

One day a mechanic was working late under a car and some brake fluid dripped into his mouth. "Wow! That stuff isn't too bad tasting," he thought. Next day he told his buddy about tasting the brake fluid. "Not bad," he said. "I think I'll have a little more today." His friend was a little concerned but didn't say anything.

Next day the mechanic told his friend about drinking a cup full of the brake fluid. "Great stuff! I think I'll have some more today." And so he did. A few days later, he was up to a bottle a day, and he told his friend, "This brake fluid is really great stuff."

His friend was now really worried. "You know that brake fluid is poison and is really bad for you. You'd better stop drinking that stuff."

"Hey, no problem," he said. "I can stop any time."

Received from FranCMT2.
The latest GCFL funny can always be found on the web at
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Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Column - - Discontented - - []

Discontented (2-Verse Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Some say, “Content cries out to be free.”
Oddly, that’s what some users decree.
Whether poetry, art,
Software, songs from the heart,
They deny there’s a rightful payee.

They think copyright laws are oppressive.
They deem fees, even tiny, excessive.
But if they don’t get paid,
Their attorney brigade
Will surely become quite aggressive.

© Madeleine Begun Kane. All Rights Reserved.
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"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." __ Franklin D. Roosevelt
"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. _ _ George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" _ _ Queen E. Watson
“A political class of Republicans and Democrats that look after themselves, not the Nation. A media hostile to the very precepts of this nation. A generation of Americans who see morals as vices, and are ignorant of America's Actual History.”
"The things that will destroy America are prosperity-at-any-price, peace-at-any-price, safety-first instead of duty-first, the love of soft living, and the get-rich-quick theory of life." - - Theodore Roosevelt
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Emergency Phone Number 911
(Fire, Police, Ambulance, Sheriff, etc. )
Central Dispatch 234_5655
(Non _ Emergency Number)
Direct Numbers
Ambulance _ 234_7371 (24 Hour)
Jail _ 234_5331 (24 Hour)
Poison Control _ 800_222_1222 (24 Hour)
http://www. aapcc. org/
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Interested in getting in touch with the Banner_News through e_mail?
E_mail addresses for communicating with the newspaper’s various departments are: For the editor, For news and sports items, Coming Events, Diary, Church News, school and civic events.
advertising@bannernews. net For retail and classified advertising.
circulation@bannernews. net To start, stop or cancel newspaper delivery or for comments about delivery.
outfitters For Office Outfitters, the office supply division of the Banner_News.
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"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." __ "Bug"
"I read the end of the book. We win!" __ "Bug"
"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." __ "Bug"
"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." _ _ "Bug"
"It's no big deal doing what God tells you to do. A big deal would be NOT doing what God tells you to do. Just ask Jonah." _ _ Paul Troquille
“Nam et ipsa scientia potestas est.” Knowledge is power. _ Francis Bacon
"The problem is here and now. The time for talk is past. The time for action is now."
Comments on the first Earth Day _ James F. McClellan via John "Fuzzy" Thurman
Hope you enjoy the newsletter.
Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" __"Bug"
God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
God is Good and Faithful CU 73 IC JFM CSP NREMT_I KC5HII

P. S. If you'd like to be added to the distribution, just drop us E_mail at
. We offer "Da Bleat" as text, a "Blog" and as a newsletter with pictures in Word and PDF format. For the "Blog" version just go to We also have a site [] where we post photos that I like.
Let us hear from you if we can switch you over to the "Word" or "PDF" version of "Da Bleat".
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