Saturday, March 26, 2011

Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Just Hanging Out

Volume 13, Issue 12 Friday, March 25, 2011

Hello All,

Annette had a heart cath last Friday. Praise God all her arteries are clear. She's been having chest pain so we had to get it checked out. Now the Cardiologist says it's a "pressure" issue that can be treated with medication. :0)
So, how is it that I can’t seem to get a “Bleat” out now that I’m retired and have “nothing” else to do? My only excuse is that, now that I’m “retired” I’m busier than I ever was. The task list is growing exponentially. I encourage all my former coworkers to try it out. You’ll see.
One reason that I have less time is ... Dusty and I have joined the 67th Composite ("Phoenix") Squadron of the Arkansas Civil Air Patrol, in Monticello, Arkansas.
Each Tuesday, I drive to El Dorado, pick up Dusty and we go on to Monticello. It's over 200 miles round trip each week but it's a great time for a "PaPaw" to share with his oldest grandson and the 67th is made up of a great bunch of folks.
Dusty is having a blast, leaning emergency services, working with rockets and scheduled to fly in gliders, small planes and C-130s. Check it out at []
We finally have the entire track laid for the “Cotton Valley” railroad. It took longer than expected because I guess I’m a lot more “Anal Retentive” about this than I thought. For a while there, I was taking up two feet of track and redoing it for every foot I laid. But it’s all down now (I hope.)
We’ve run a six car consist over all of it, pulled by our Southern Pacific F Unit and now we’re cleaning up the electrical side. I wired all 12 “sections” and was working on wiring the 12 turnouts before getting sidetracked (pun intended) to work on David’s train table and Josiah’s pinewood derby racer.
With now three separate construction projects going in the living room, Annette is getting a little impatient to see them completed so she can start the scenery. I’ve explained that these things take time and, even after finishing the boy’s projects, I’ve still got the wiring to clean up and check as well as running trains on all sections again to check for problems.
Now she says it will take more “Xanex” to get through this than she thought.
My cousin Claiborne Sharp was presented the Boy Scouts of America "Silver Beaver" award recently. This Award is the council-level distinguished service award of the Boy Scouts of America. Recipients of this award are registered adult leaders who have made an impact on the lives of youth through service given to the council. The award is given to those who do not actively seek it and who implement the Scouting program in their daily lives.
Interview Claiborne Sharp []
Since it's flu season.... How do you make a hanky dance????
Put a little boogie in it
Thanks to Rich Hightower
Sociologists discovered that when three people are together that two of the three will bond — leaving the third person as the “odd man out.” When three people get together, one will always be the “third wheel.”
Two of my cousins and I learned this when we were preschoolers. Charles, Dinah Sue and I often played together. If Charles and Dinah Sue met first, they’d pick on me when I arrived. If Dinah Sue and I were there first, we’d pick on Charles when he came up. And, If Charles and I were together when Dinah Sue arrived, we’d pick on her.
Now, thanks to Sociologists, I know why we did this.
Then, there was the time my mom took me to the Little Rock Zoo. The gorilla house had glass over the cage bars and that afternoon, as we entered by the north door, the open southwest door was reflected in the glass over the cage. The gorilla suddenly growled and ran toward the south end of his cage. My mom glanced up at the noise and saw, what appeared to her, the gorilla running toward an open door in his cage. She screamed and, grabbing me by the arm, ran back out the door we'd entered.
It was the end of our zoo visit.
When David was small he came running into the kitchen and told Annette; "Mom Mom they're using God's Name In Vain on Television." Annette told him; "That's bad, let's turn off the TV." David said; "You want to know what they said?" Before Annette could reply, he shouted; "The last part of it was ZILLA!"
Annette actually sent this to Reader Digest. They never responded but a few years later we saw it in "Life In These United States."
Another time, when David was about 3 or 4, Annette and he had a "bad day" and she sort of lost her cool with him. After she calmed down, she apologized and told him; "David, I' m sorry but you have to understand that this is the first time I've ever been a mother and I'm going to make some mistakes." To which he replied; "Well, (sobbing) it's the first time I've ever been a kid!"
O.K. Here's a more recent one.
Our master bathroom shares a wall with the living room. One day Annette was in the shower when David stopped by to visit. He heard the shower running and stepped over to the shared wall and started scratching on it. After a few moments, the sound of the shower stopped.
David kept scratching.
Suddenly, Annette came out into the living room in her robe.
David Grinned.
Annette said; "What if I'd run out of the bathroom in my birthday suit?"
David replied; "I'd have spent the rest of my life in therapy."
My cousin Shannon Taylor Voigt related this bedtime conversation with her son Will:
Will: Why was Adam first and not Eve?
Shannon: I am not sure.
Will: I thought it was always supposed to be "ladies first".
Shannon: Good point, always remember that. :-)
Southern Christian Mission, Inc. (Magnolia’s Homeless Shelter) needs; Sugar, Kool-Aide, Tea, Plastic Forks, Plastic Spoons, Napkins, 1-Gallon Freezer Bags, Toilet Tissue, and your prayers.
515 West Monroe, Magnolia, AR 71753, 870-235-1155.
As I've said over and over, I support reducing funding for ALL the organizations that are Federally supported. We have to get "back in the black."
However, the House vote to eliminate public broadcasting funds was strictly a political sop to the far right and will save little or no federal funds.
Public broadcasting often irritates me with their attitudes toward faith and conservatives. But they also produce a tremendous amount of quality programming that helps all of us live richer lives. So check out what one Congressman had to say about the vote.
[] Then look at a very balanced view of the issue by Peter Funt. So far, I think he says it best. []
Jackie Bridges and his son Ricky have taken care of our vehicles for over 35 years. I first met them when I was “pumping” in Dow’s brine field. Dow contracted with Jackie for vehicle maintenance, which included cleaning the pumper’s vehicles each week. Every Saturday that I worked days, I dropped my truck off for cleaning and required maintenance and took one that had already been done.
Watching the Bridges work on vehicles led to my taking our personal vehicles to them. This was a time in our live when we really had to make every penny stretch. Jackie, realizing that we didn’t have much money, would repair our “Junkers” using parts from his scrap pile. Later, as our income (and vehicles) improved, he started using new parts.
At first, I tried to repair our vehicles myself. But, most of the time, I’d be unable to complete the repair and have to call Jackie. After a few times repairing the damage I’d done as well as fixing what was originally wrong, Jackie took me aside and said; “Son, it would save you money and me work if you’d just bring the car to me before you messed with it.”
Of course, Jackie’s shop didn’t originally have all the fancy computers and such to diagnose problems. When necessary, he would tell me; “You better take this one up to the dealer and see what they can do with it.” But over the years, Jackie and Ricky’s common sense and wide knowledge of vehicles beat the dealerships almost every time. In the late ‘90s Annette had a full size Chevy Caprice and the “check engine light” came on. She took it to Jackie who told her; “It’s a computer glitch. I’d just cover that light with a piece of tape.” We’ll we didn’t want a piece of tape on our dash so we took it to the dealership. Six months and about $1,800 later, I finally put a piece of tape over the light. The dealer’s garage never could get the light to go out, no matter how many parts they swapped out.
On another occasion, the dash instruments and lights in Annette’s Yukon began flashing on and off at random. It was sort of like driving a Christmas tree down the road at night. This time we went to the dealer first. They checked everything they knew and were never able to correct the problems. We thought we’d just have to live with it. A couple of weeks later, Annette drove out to Jackie’s to pick me up when I dropped my truck off for service. While she was waiting, Jackie’s son Ricky came by and she told him the problem she was having with her dash lights and instruments. Ricky pulled out a screwdriver, popped the lower door panel on the driver’s side and tightened a wire. He told Annette that a loose ground wire was a common problem with that model. The problem was cured and has never come back.
Speaking of the Yukon, right after we bought it, Annette came out to Jackie’s to pick me up one day and he noticed she had a nice new (to her) vehicle. He turned to me and said; “With gas prices as high as they are, buying a big SUV could also serve as a competency test for the human race.” Then he paused and continued; “But it is nice to drive to Little Rock and be able to walk when you get there, isn’t it?”
Bobby Jack (Jackie) Bridges, 81 of Magnolia, Arkansas passed away at his home on Tuesday, March 22, 2011. Mr. Bridges was born November 29, 1929 in Magnolia, Arkansas to the late Will and Nina Sanders Bridges.
Mr. Bridges served 2 years during the Korean War as a Sergeant in the Anti Aircraft Company of the United States Army and worked several more years in the oilfield and in construction. On April 1, 1967, he and his brother Doodle Bridges opened up the Phillips 66 Full Service Filling Station on West Main Street. The business grew and was moved to his home location on County Road 27 on June 1, 1979 where Bridges Auto Repair still operates today. Throughout the years, his strong will and determination helped him build a successful business based on hard work, honesty, and fairness. He was also an avid fisherman and could be found every weekend with his wife, other family members, or a friend in one of his favorite “fishing spots.” He had a “gift” of knowing exactly where to find the white perch, bream, and catfish. He and his wife, Sue, just celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary on December 23, 2010.
He is survived by his wife, Betty Sue Phillips Bridges; son and his wife, Rickey and Karen; daughter and her husband, Linda and Charles Holt; adopted son, Sammy Harris, Jr.; grandson, Chris (Jennifer) Bridges and sons Evan and Carson; granddaughter Crystal (Phillip) Brown and sons Collier and McCabe; granddaughter, Jennifer Pharr and son Hunter of Taylor; grandson Stephen (Amanda) Collier and children Tyler and Emma of Fort Gibson, Oklahoma; grandson Phillip Collier of Fayetteville, Arkansas; granddaughter Heather (Jasen) Floyd and children Logan, Samantha, Zoey, and Jacki Sue of Stamps, Arkansas; granddaughter Sonya (Todd) Feemster and children Tyler and Ryleigh of Camden, Arkansas, granddaughter Rebecca (Tony) Buffington and daughters Hilarie and London of Siloam Springs, Arkansas; granddaughter, Amy Holcomb Bridges; and numerous nieces and nephews.
He was preceded in death by his parents, William and Nina Sanders Bridges; sisters, Wilma Bridges Aldridge and Virginia Bridges Boyd; brothers, Sanders Bridges and Marvin “Doodle” Bridges; daughter Theresa Kay Bridges Herion; and niece, Dorothy Aldridge Jack, all of Magnolia.
Funeral services will be Friday, March 25th at 10:00 a.m. at the Antioch West Baptist Church with Bro. Jim Sayers officiating. Burial will follow at the Barlow Cemetery under the direction of Lewis Funeral Home, Inc. of Magnolia. Visitation will be Thursday evening from 6:00 to 8:00 p.m. at the funeral home.
Pallbearers will be Chris Bridges, Derrel Collier, Sammy Harris, Jr., Tim Herion, Mike Hall, and Ken Johnson.
Memorials may be made to Barlow Cemetery, c/o Kathy Norman, 1814 Columbia 27 South, Magnolia, AR 71753.
In January, NASA paused for a day to remember 17 astronauts lost in the line of duty. NASA's three space-related fatalities occurred within days of one another but years apart.

Three astronauts were killed in the Apollo 1 launch pad fire on Jan. 27, 1967.

On Jan. 28, 1986, seven more died aboard Challenger as it exploded seconds after lift-off.

Central Texans watched as the seven-member crew of Columbia perished when the spacecraft broke apart during re-entry on Feb. 1, 2003.

One of the earliest tragedies in the history of the space program occurred 44 years ago when the three Apollo 1 astronauts were killed in a fire. On Jan 27, 1967, astronauts Roger Chaffee, Ed White and Commander Gus Grissom died during a test of the first planned lunar landing mission. The three were fully suited up and in the capsule to test its internal power systems, when a fire ignited in the high pressure oxygen atmosphere. Design flaws in the hatch made it impossible for the astronauts to escape.

"If we die, do not mourn for us. This is a risky business we're in, and we accept those risks. The space program is too valuable to this country to be halted for too long if a disaster should ever happen." Gus Grissom, three weeks prior to the Apollo 1 fire.

Gus Grissom was one of my favorite astronauts and slated to command the first moon landing when he was killed. I had the privilege of attending a Civil Air Patrol missile training class at Grissom Hall on Chanute Air Force Base a few years later.

Rest in Peace Gus - A Champion Of The Cosmos – We still remember you.
"Junk Science" is one of my pet peeves. Sometimes it's harmless but many times it can be deadly. Not vaccinating kids is, to me, a form of child abuse. And it's not just the child who is put at risk. Unvaccinated kids can become carriers of serious, sometimes deadly disease. Putting other kids at risk.
Docs Turn Away Unvaccinated Patients []
Julie Bandy Morris - - I wasn't gonna comment, was gonna keep my Nurse mouth shut, BUT, ok here goes: Past vaccines have been possibly linked to diseases such as Autism & such but the metals that are thought to cause these diseases have been removed from the vaccines. My other thoughts on the matter: if those TV lawyers would keep their mouths closed about things they have no business squawking about on national TV, maybe there wouldn't be so much of this. But it is a parent’s choice on if they get the vaccines. As a former school nurse, the parent must show medical or religious reason for not getting the vaccines. But Mr. James is correct; not vaccinating children & putting them in public with other children does put other children & their teachers & healthcare personnel who care for them at risk. Sorry, didn't mean to be so long winded.
The "Junk Science" I was referring to is most of those "studies" that showed problems with vaccinations. The most disturbing of these studies have recently been shown to be total fabrications with no basis in fact.
There is a risk involved in vaccination. But, for the routine vaccinations that are recommended, that risk is many times less than the risk of the disease itself.
Most of today's parents have no knowledge of the horrible toll taken by polio, measles, whooping cough, etc. All diseases essentially wiped out by aggressive vaccination programs. But also, diseases that are waiting in the wings to cause massive suffering if given a chance.
For more information see:
The Coming Plague: Newly Emerging Diseases in a World Out of Balance - by Laurie Garrett
Deadly Choices: How the Anti-Vaccine Movement Threatens Us All by Paul A. Offit
The Hot Zone: A Terrifying True Story - by Richard Preston
Joe Tudor - - The "data" that raised concerns was based on a study by Andrew Wakefield. He published the first study showing a link between autism and vaccines. The study has been shown to be a fraud - read details here - []
There is a fantastic book on the development of the polio vaccine - "Polio: An American Story" by David Oshinsky (you can get a used copy for $3.50 at Amazon, maybe a free one at Reads more like a novel than a "documentary", and gives really good insight into the politics of medicine in general (no, it is not all science), and the risks of not vaccinating.
Bryan Clardy MD - - unless everyone wants to go back to 25% mortality rates for vaccine preventable diseases... I can only imagine how heartbreaking neonatal tetanus is, or better yet watching your two year old die of pertussis, or having them live out their lives paralyzed after polio. - no thanks.
Jodi Wreyford McClellan - - Shared this website [] The writer contends:
#1: Pharmaceutical Companies Can’t Be Trusted
#2: ALL Vaccines are Loaded with Chemicals and other Poisons
#3: Fully Vaccinated Children are the Unhealthiest, Most Chronically Ill Children I Know
#4: Other Countries Are Waking Up to the Dangers of Vaccines
#5: A Number of Vaccines Have Already Had Problems/Been Removed from the Market

#6 You Can Always Get Vaccinated, But You Can Never Undo a Vaccination

Jodi went on to say; I've researched vaccines enough to know many more FACTS than this woman presents. I just liked the way that the article was set out in "lay person terms". Because when I pull out my "the liver of a 5lb newborn can only process 50 micrograms of aluminum, but the Hep B vaccine (given at birth) contains 5 times that" most people's heads boggle.
As I said before, this is a topic that raises my hackles. The writer does have some good points and even some truth in the answers. Sort of reminds me of how Satan tempts us. It's never an outright lie but rather a lie wrapped in a thin veneer of truth. Anyway, here's my thoughts on the writers six points.

#1: Pharmaceutical Companies Can’t Be Trusted.
I won't argue this. All companies are made of "committees" that tend to discuss an issue down to the lowest common denominator. However, most vaccines didn't just jump out of pharmaceutical companies "profit search" labs. They originated with folks searching for a cure or a way to prevent death and disability.

#2: ALL Vaccines are Loaded with Chemicals and other Poisons
Again, there's a little tiny bit of truth here. Most vaccines do contain "CHEMICALS." The fact is that there are trace elements and chemicals in almost everything on earth. I could test anything from your home or you and, if I looked for infinitesimally small amounts, I could find almost any substance. However, there's a GREAT difference in detecting a substance in a sample and actually finding a significant amount of a substance in a sample.
The obvious point is that there is a difference in level of exposures and their effects on the human body.
Oh, by the way, her comment "At least if you ate these ingredients, your body would have a chance to detoxify and eliminate them before any permanent damage could be done. But, to inject them right into the blood is the most damaging and lethal approach imaginable." shows a serious ignorance in how the body works. Things that come into the body eventually go to the blood stream to be filtered and then discharge via the "waste system." The only exception is some of the solids you consume, are discharge pretty much intact (i.e. "grape nuts" etc.)
And her "I don’t know ANYONE who has not vaccinated and regrets their decision, ..." comment. I guess she never talked to any of the many parents who had children suffer from polio or pertussis, etc.

#3: Fully Vaccinated Children are the Unhealthiest, Most Chronically Ill Children I Know
She leads with this and then follows with "there are no studies comparing the health of unvaccinated children to the health of vaccinated children." So what does she base her statement on? What is the definition of "fully vaccinated?"
Again, there is a sliver of truth here, in that children who are not protected from these diseases, come down with them and survive, tend to have better resistance to the diseases in later life than those who were vaccinated. Problem is, this only applies to the "survivors" of the diseases. Doesn't do a thing for those who weren't vaccinated and died as children.

#4: Other Countries Are Waking Up to the Dangers of Vaccines
O.k. here she goes again. Japan raised its minimum vaccination age to 2 years old, they didn't cease vaccinations. As for Australia, I don't know of this suspension. I do know that our Disaster Medical Team has been training heavily on how to care for folks who weren't vaccinated and how to quickly vaccinate large groups of folks in an emergency.

#5: A Number of Vaccines Have Already Had Problems/Been Removed from the Market
Again, here's a sliver of truth. There have been vaccines withdrawn or that have had their usage guidelines changed. This happens to be true with many many products in our lives. Sometimes it's a defect. Sometimes it's a new finding. But to say that you shouldn't drive a car because Toyota had problems is ridiculous.
For instance, there can be serious side effects from the smallpox vaccination. Fortunately, we've pretty much eradicated smallpox (through mass vaccinations) and no longer have to take that vaccine. However, if there is an outbreak, I won't hesitate to get the vaccine and insist that my kids and grand-kids get it. Why? Because the actual effects of smallpox are THOUSANDS of times worse than the vaccine side effects.
In any case, the "key" vaccinations (again, polio, measles, etc.) are "time tested."

#6 You Can Always Get Vaccinated, But You Can Never Undo a Vaccination
But, once your child has polio, or tetanus, or whooping cough or measles, it's too late to get them vaccinated.

It's obvious this person has little or no education in toxicology or medicine or history of infectious disease.

I encourage all parents to discuss this with their doctors. Of course, the writer did and was not happy when the doctor disagreed with her. I can understand her anger. The doctor just has year of dealing with the actual results of vaccinations and non vaccinations while the writer has "tons" of anecdotal information (i.e. my aunt knows a woman whose son worked with a guy whose partner's godmother got hebie jebies from a flu shot.)
Jodi also said; “I have read tons of non-biased information (my favorite is Dr. Sear's "The Vaccine Book... he's pro-vax, by the way) and solidly believe that my stance on vaccinations is the best for my children.
I do not vaccinate against Hep B at birth... mostly because my children are not sexually promiscuous, they don't share needles, and as far as I know don't have any tattoos.
We do not vax against chicken pox as I prefer the natural immunity that comes from contracting the disease. The varicella vaccine contains 500 micrograms of MSG per dose... and yes, we avoid MSG in foods as well, since there is a strong link to autism-like disorders. Also, the chicken pox vax is grown in "human diploid cells"... uh yeah, aborted fetuses.
Rotavirus- another nope! It's diarrhea and we live in a developed country that thank God can deal with severe dehydration. (if we lived in a hut in Africa, we would absolutely vax for this) The RotaTeq brand (Merk) of this vax contains fetal cow blood. And The Rotarix brand (GlaxoSmithKline) won't release their list of ingredients.

You know, it might be easier to discuss what I DO believe when it comes to vaccinations. lol
I vax against diptheria, tetanus, and pertussis. 10 percent of diptheria cases are fatal. Tetanus carries a 15 percent fatality rate. pertussis is both common (about 10,000 reported cases nationwide each year) and is also very serious.
I vax against HIB. The fatality rate is only 5%, but 25% of victims have residual brain damage.
I vax against polio. I don't think I have to explain this one.
I vax against measles, mumps, and rubella... BUT with conditions. We vax for that after the age of 2 years old. (when the blood brain barrier is closed) and only to protect those weaker than us. Rubella might not kill my children, but it could kill my unborn child if I were to become pregnant.

Another thing that I have made exceptions for was flu and swine flu last year. Duncan has a compromised immune system due to his malabsorption issues; therefore, we all were vaxed (minus Duncan) last year. I was told that he would gain some immunity through my breast milk.

Anyways, I guess I really just told you my entire philosophy on vaccinating rather than defending the article, but I believe I already put a disclaimer on that when I posted it.”
Jodi is a smart young woman, with the right idea about vaccinations. I challenge any “anti vaccination’er” to do the “due diligence” that Jodi has.
Speaking of “Junk Science,” here’s a post from Joe Tudor discussing “Junk Facts” about gasoline prices that keep being forwarded to him. []
Last week, I got a little worked up about the current legislative session. So I unloaded in a “Letter To The Editor.”
Who needs horror movies when we can pick up the newspaper six days a week and be terrified? If you don’t know what I’m talking about, I’m referring to “Panel approves amendments” in the March 16 Banner News.

The decision by the uninformed voters to have the legislature meet annually was a worry to me. It gives our elected representatives twice as much time to sit around and dream up ways to “help” the citizens of Arkansas. Already this year we’ve seen an unfunded mandate to fluoridate water in most of Arkansas and I was just waiting on the next shoe to drop.

Sure enough, here the whole “Prada” collection comes. They want to take control of the highway budget, among “THIRTEEN” amendments to the Arkansas constitution that have been proposed in the house this year.

Don’t get me wrong. There are some good things that could be done by the legislature. The problem is that every good idea gets buried under a ton of really really bad legislation. The governor came out and recommended a further reduction on the sales tax on food. That’s a good idea that would benefit all Arkansans, especially the low income. But the legislature has jumped up and recommended more tax cuts than the entire state budget. They are so desperate to get on the tax cut bandwagon that they are probably going to kill the food tax reduction.

And everyone has a complaint about our highways. I’ve got a simple solution … let the taxpayers in each county fund the cost of construction and maintenance of the highways in that county. Do away with the Highway department and the highway commission and everyone would be happy. Right? … No? Oh, you want the “state” and the ”feds” to pay for your highways? You just don’t want the Highway Commission to decide where to spend the money.

I admit that the commission is not totally unbiased. After all they are human. But if you want to really see how sausage is made, turn the decision making over to the legislative branch. I guarantee you’d see four lane highways from every legislator’s home to their local bank or fishing hole.

There are other worthy bills being buried this year, but it doesn’t matter. What matters is our representatives all have to have something to do and their favorite thing to do is “Mess” with the taxpayers and come up with more ways to tell the citizens what they should and should not do. That ought to really attract business to the state.

James F. McClellan
P.S. As y’all know, the cost of living is going through the roof. And many of our state employees haven’t had a raise in years. The governor’s budget would have given them a cost of living raise. That idea was scrapped by the legislature and instead they extended tax cuts to industry and car sales.
Arkansas has a prison problem. Corrections currently costs Arkansas Tax Payers $349,000,000 a year. If we do not change the system, the Arkansas Prison Population will rise by 43% over the next 10 years, and our annual costs will increase to 1.1 billion! For all this cost, taxpayers are not getting a good return on their dollar. Recidivism and crime rates remain high.

Our prison system is broken. More than 700,000 prisoners are released from prison every year. More than half of them will be back in prison within 3 years. Recently, some changes were recommended to help reduce the number of folks we send to prison in Arkansas each year.
In response to those recommendations, Banner News Editor Jamie Davis, B published an editorial: “Ensuring our cities' safety” []

I agree with Jamie that we need to ensure that violent offenders aren’t released early. However, the imprisonment of non violent offenders has resulted in an increasing number of criminals and an increase in crime. I firmly believe that our dollars would be better spent if we required non violent offenders to provide restitution to those they wronged. Locking them up just costs us money and gives them an education from their cell mates on how to commit crime more efficiently.

Justice Fellowship believes it is time to restore justice to our prison system, make our communities safer, and reconcile victims and offenders.

Restorative Justice is a practical, biblical approach to the problems of crime and punishment in our society. While it has foundations in the Old and New Testaments, it is not just a Christian concept. Restorative justice is indigenous to many cultures around the world and has been practiced for millennia.

The principles of restorative justice are simple. Restorative justice recognizes that crime harms people. It does not simply break a law. The justice system should aim to repair these injuries. Crime is also more than a matter between the government and an individual offender. Since crime victims and the community bear the brunt of crime, they, too, must be actively involved in the criminal justice process.

Restoring Victims - - There's a huge difference between justice that punishes and justice that restores. The injuries that crime victims experience are significant; crime may disrupt their lives temporarily-or for as long as they live. What's more, many victims feel re-victimized by the criminal justice system itself-especially when it excludes them from much of the process.

Restorative justice promotes the need for victims' concerns to be considered in every part of the criminal justice process. Victims need help regaining a sense of control over their lives, and they need restitution to compensate for some amount of their loss.

Restoring Offenders - - Restorative justice requires the system to do more than warehouse offenders. Restorative justice means holding offenders personally accountable. They need to confront the pain they have caused to their victims and take the steps necessary to overcome their criminal behavior.

Restorative justice also means delivering punishments to offenders that are proportional to the harm they committed. It means offering offenders opportunities for rehabilitation. And it means treating offenders with fairness and dignity, even when they are locked behind bars.

To find out more, visit []
THERE'S A KEEN NEW online scheme to help you save money traveling by train in the United States. []
In the past, snagging the lowest fares has taken a lot of work on the Amtrak ticketing web site, checking things out day by day, sometimes across weeks and months. But a clever new web site (it's been online since August) aptly called AmSnag [] makes that task much easier.

On its home page AmSnag allows you to enter an origin and a destination with a range of up to 30 days from your target date, and after churning bytes for a few seconds, the site will display the costs of all train connections between that origin and destination over that range.

For instance, besides Chicago directly to Emeryville on the Zephyr, AmSnag will show the cost of traveling Chicago to Seattle to Emeryville via the Empire Builder and southbound Coast Starlight, and Chicago to Los Angeles to Emeryville on the Southwest Chief and northbound Coast Starlight. In addition, it'll show the prices of traveling Chicago-San Antonio-Los Angeles-Emeryville aboard the Texas Eagle, Sunset Limited and Coast Starlight.

It will also show fares involving other train and bus connections in California.

A sample AmSnag result is here []. The query was made Feb. 23 for Chicago to Emeryville beginning April 1 for 15 days. ("NA" means "Not applicable" and "SO" means "Sold Out.") Doubtless the results will have changed by the time you read this.

You need to know the station codes for your origin and destination (Chicago is CHI and Emeryville EMY) but you can get those on the Amtrak web site, where you will do your actual booking of the tickets once you have the best fares. (Or you could call 1-800-USA-RAIL.)

The only known bug on the site is that if sleeper accommodations are sold out on Superliner trains, "Family Bedrooms" will appear "NA" rather than "SO." But that is exceedingly minor.

The AmSnag creator, Paul Marlin, says he's a retired statistician who took up computer programming as a hobby. Kudos to him for this splendid labor of love.

One more tip: If only coach seats are available on a train on the date you want to travel but you think you'd really like a roomette, buttonhole the conductor once the train leaves and see if there were any no-shows. Sometimes one gets lucky and can get a roomette for a cut-rate price even lower than the lowest bucket fare.
What our friends are saying:
Autumn Garner Burton - - The unoffendable Christian is the unstoppable Christian....
Beverly Carbo - - "The only difference between genius and stupidity is that there are limits to genius" Albert Einstein
Brian Lester Bohrer - - "The older I get, the better I was."
Daryl Cox - - Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. ~ Aristotle
Deborah Dubberly - - When you think God is saying no, just wait because the wait will be well worth it.
Gracie Lou Oliver Murphy - - Faith, like light, should always be simple and unbending; while love, like warmth, should beam forth on every side, and bend to every necessity of our brethren.
Martin Luther
Kit Lange - - I'd love to listen to what you're whispering about how God expects us to treat each other. I'm sure it's beautiful. Unfortunately, all I can hear are your actions...and I doubt God's real impressed." -- from a live journal I happen to read sometimes

Kit Lange - - Egypt is in the second day of angry street protests. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is calling for calm. Because nothing calms an enraged Arab country like a powerful woman ordering it around." –Conan O'Brien (lmao)

Kit Lange - - “When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.” --Emo Phillips (LOL...obviously this is tongue-in-cheek)
Julie Bandy Morris - - Let Gods big hand close gently over yours. With His help, even the discouraging scribbles of your life can become a masterpiece. ~Joni Eareckson Tada~
Marc Alexander - - The urge to save humanity is almost always a false-face for the urge to rule it. Be wary of people who want to save you or your kids. ESPECIALLY when they say crap like "do it for the children"

Marc Alexander - - People ask why I carry a gun. Simple. Because a cop is too heavy.

Marc Alexander - - Sometimes I wanna tell these open. mouth breathers...."I can explain it to you, but I CANT understand it for you!"
Nancee Davis Law - - a child is like a mosquito: when it stops making a noise, you know it's up to something.

Nancee Davis Law - - A bad attitude is like a flat tire. If you don't change it, you'll never go anywhere."

Nancee Davis Law - - I figured out why I'm fat! The shampoo in the shower that runs down my body says "for extra volume and body. I'm going to start using "Dawn" dish soap. It says "dissolves fat that is otherwise difficult to remove."

Nancee Davis Law - - Toddler Rules: If I like it - it's mine , If it's in my hand - It's mine, If it looks like mine - It's mine, If I think it's mine - It's mine....but it's never my fault

Nancee Davis Law - - Shinbone; A device for locating furniture in dark or semi-dark rooms.

Nancee Davis Law - - GRANDMA" is another word for mom with no rules

Nancee Davis Law - - you are not responsible for what other people think about you, however, you are responsible for what you give them to think about...

Nancee Davis Law - - Every experience in life will make you either better or bitter.

Nancee Davis Law - - Thought for the day: Before you give someone a piece of your mind, make sure you can spare it.
Steve Ford - - The great thing is to be always reading but not to get bored--treat it not like work, more as a vice! Your book bill ought to be your biggest extravagance." --C.S. Lewis
Timothy Tackett - - Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a delusional illogical minority and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous press which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end
"A bad attitude is like a flat tire. If you don't change it, you'll never go anywhere."
Iron a man's shirts and you'll iron them the rest of your life. Teach a man to iron and ... he'll quit wearing starched and ironed shirts.

Thanks to Norma Kay Rowe for this subject.
I wanted to ask someone today " If I rubbed Preparation H on you, would you become less irritating and shrink?"

Thanks to Gracie Lou Oliver Murphy
A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to re-frame or re - interpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.

War does not determine who is right -- only who is left.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Evening news is where they begin with ' Good Evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. My desk is a work station.

How it is one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you push one down the stairs.

Dolphins are so smart, that within a few weeks of captivity they can train people to stand on the edge of the pool and throw them fish.

I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a paycheck.

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "In case of an emergency, notify - - -", I put "DOCTOR."

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

I saw a chesty woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it... So I said "Implants?"

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut and still think they are sexy.

Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

You do not need a parachute to sky dive. You only need a parachute to sky dive,,,, twice.

The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.

Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.

Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others, whenever they go.

There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

I always take life with a grain of salt... plus a slice of lemon... and a shot of tequila.

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

You're never too old to learn something stupid.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as opposed to when you are in it.

If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

When something works just fine,, DON'T fix it !!!

Insanity is contagious, you get it from your children.

Hire a teenager,, while they still know everything.

Thanks to George Ingram
1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cimference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

9. A hole has been found in the camp wall. The police are looking into it.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large

16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran

17. A backward poet writes inverse.

18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes

19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine .

21. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'

22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says 'Dam!'

23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'

25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

26. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
"My Blackberry Is Not Working." A sketch by Ronnie Corbett and Harry Enfield:
[] - Thanks to Lou Murphy
Folks often ask what it’s like being retired. Here’s one man’s description.
Fifteen years ago my wife and I moved into a retirement development on Florida coast - The Delray/Boca/Boynton Golf, Spa, Bath and Tennis Club on Lake Fake-A-Hatchee. There are 3000 lakes in Florida; only three are real.
Our biggest retirement concern was time management. What were we going to do all day? Let me assure you, passing the time is not a problem. Your days will be eaten up by simple, daily activities. Just getting out of your car takes 15 minutes. Trying to find where you parked takes 20 minutes. It takes 1/2 hour on the check-out line in Wal-Mart and one hour to return the item the next day.
Let me take you through a typical day. We get up at 5:00 AM, have a quick breakfast and join the early morning 'Walk and Talk Club.' There are about 30 of us, and rain or shine we walk around the streets, all talking at once. Every development has some late risers who stay in bed until 6 AM. After a nimble walk avoiding irate drivers out to make us road kill, we go back home, shower and change for the next activity.
My wife goes directly to the pool for her underwater Pilate ’s class, followed by gasping for breath and CPR. I put on my 'Ask me about my Grandchildren' T-shirt, my plaid mid-calf shorts, my black socks and sandals and go to the clubhouse lobby for a nice nap.
Before you know it, it's time for lunch. We go to COSTCO and partake of the many tasty samples dispensed by ladies in white hairnets. All free! After a filling lunch, if we don't have any doctor appointments, we might go to the flea market to see if any new white belts have come in or to buy a Rolex watch for $2.00.
We're usually back home by 2 PM to get ready for dinner. People start lining up for the early bird about 3 PM, but we get there by 3:45 PM, because we're late eaters. The dinners are very popular because of the large portions they serve. You can take home enough food for the next day's lunch and dinner, including extra bread, crackers, packets of mustard, relish, ketchup and Sweet-and-Low along with mints.
At 5:30 PM we're home ready to watch the 6 o'clock news. By 6:30 PM we're fast asleep. Then we get up and make 5 or 6 trips to the bathroom during the night, and it's time to get up and start a new day all over again.
Doctor related activities eat up most of your retirement time. I enjoy reading old magazines in subzero temperatures in the waiting room, so I don't mind. Calling for test results also helps the days fly by. It takes at least half an hour just getting through the doctor's phone menu. Then there's the hold time until you're connected to the right party. Sometimes they forget you're holding, and the whole office goes off to lunch.
Should you find you still have time on your hands, volunteering provides a rewarding opportunity to help the less fortunate. Florida has the largest concentration of seniors under five feet tall and they need our help. I myself am a volunteer for 'The Vertically Challenged Over 80.' I coach their basketball team, The Arthritic Avengers.
The hoop is only 4.5 feet from the floor.
You should see the look of confidence on their faces when they make a slam dunk.
Food shopping is a problem for short seniors or 'bottom feeders' as we call them, because they can't reach the items on the upper shelves. There are many foods they've never tasted. After shopping, most seniors can't remember where they parked their cars and wander the parking lot for hours while their food defrosts.
Lastly, it's important to choose a development with an impressive name. Italian names are very popular in Florida. They convey world traveler, uppity sophistication and wealth. Where would you rather live? Murray 's Condos or The Lakes Of Venice? There's no difference. They're both owned by Murray, who happens to be a cheapskate.
I hope this material has been of help to you future retirees. If I can be of any further assistance, please look me up when you're in Florida. I live in The Leaning Condos of Pisa On Boynton Beach.
“More idiot sightings” - A DC airport ticket agent offers some examples of 'why' our country is in trouble:

1. A New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol Shea-Porter) asked for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On an airplane!)

2. I got a call from a Kansas Congressman's (Moore) staffer (Howard Bauleke),
who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information, and then he interrupted me with, ''I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts....''
Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained, ''Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa ''
His response -- click.

3. A senior Vermont Congressman (Bernie Sanders) called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando.
He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state.
He replied, 'don't lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state!'' (OMG)

4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife (Landra Reid) who asked, ''Is it possible to see England from Canada ?''
I said, ''No.''
She said, ''But they look so close on the map.'' (OMG, again!)

5. An aide for a cabinet member(Janet Napolitano) once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas.
I pulled up the reservation and noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas.
When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, ''I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time.'' (Aghhhh)

6. An Illinois Congresswoman (Jan Schakowsky) called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m, and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m.
I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.

7. A New York lawmaker, (Jerrold Nadler) called and asked, ''Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?''
I said, 'No, why do you ask?'
He replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!''
After putting him on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. (I was dying laughing). I came back and explained the city code for Fresno, Ca. is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on his luggage.

8. A Senator John Kerry aide (Lindsay Ross) called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, ''Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii ?''

9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman, Bobby Bright from Ala who asked, ''How do I know which plane to get on?''
I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ''I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have that number on them.''

10. Senator Dianne Feinstein called and said, ''I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola,
Florida. Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?''
I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola, FL on a commuter plane.
She said, ''Yeah, whatever, smarty!''

11. Mary Landrieu, La. Senator called and had a question about the documents she needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded her that she needed a visa. 'Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those.''
I double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa.
When I told her this she said, ''Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!''

12. A New Jersey Congressman (John Adler) called to make reservations, ''I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York.''
I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ''Are you sure that's the name of the town?''
'Yes, what flights do you have?'' replied the man.
After some searching, I came back with, ''I'm sorry, sir, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a rhino anywhere."
''The man retorted, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!''
So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, ''You don't mean Buffalo, do you?'' The reply? ''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.''

Now you know why the Government is in the shape that it's in!


Thanks to Claiborne Sharp Jr.
This is one of the coolest things I've ever seen! About 8 soldiers pull up on a main street in Halifax , Nova Scotia on some holiday. They’re in a standard issue WWII type Willys Jeep. In the span of about 5 to 6 minutes they completely disassemble the vehicle and reassemble it and drive off in it fully operable! The idea being to show the genius that went into the making of the jeep and its basic simplicity. Fantastic. []
Thanks to Gary Foreman
THE FRESH AIR FUND, an independent, not-for-profit agency, has provided free summer vacations to more than 1.7 million New York City children from low-income communities since 1877. Nearly 10,000 New York City children enjoy free Fresh Air Fund programs annually. In 2010, close to 5,000 children visited volunteer host families in suburbs and small town communities across 13 states from Virginia to Maine and Canada. 3,000 children also attended five Fresh Air camps on a 2,300-acre site in Fishkill, New York. The Fund’s year-round camping program serves an additional 2,000 young people each year. If you or someone you know is able to host, please sign up now. In 2010, The Fresh Air Fund's Volunteer Host Family program, called Friendly Town, gave close to 5,000 New York City boys and girls, ages six to 18, free summer experiences in the country and the suburbs. Volunteer host families shared their friendship and homes up to two weeks or more in 13 Northeastern states from Virginia to Maine and Canada.

Thanks to host families who open up their homes for a few weeks each summer, children growing up in New York City’s toughest neighborhoods have experienced the joys of Fresh Air experiences. Click [] to learn more about becoming a host or call (800) 367-0003!
To the PurpleHull Pea Amateur Radio Club: Good news. The April issue of World Radio is now online. You can download it by going to: []

Click on the picture of the cover of the magazine to download the entire issue. You can download it in smaller segments by clicking on the picture of the table of contents page.

In the "Aerials" column, Kurt N. Sterba explains why a non-resonant antenna is just as efficient as a resonant one.

There's also a neat, interesting article about a "Coat Hanger Beam" antenna for 440 MHz.

Lots of other good stuff, too. They really have kept up the quality of the magazine, even after it became an "online only" publication.

And, as always, the price is right. Free.

Panic in the Nuclear Energy Lobby

With the White House offering $36 billion in loan guarantees, U.S. nuclear industry lobbyists have little opposition. But Eve Conant reports they fear overreaction to the Japan disaster.

Read it at The Daily Beast [$adF#]
Interesting News Items

Obama's New $1 Billion Drug Center
The Obama administration is getting into the pharmaceutical business in an attempt to make up for the industry's declining investment in research. The new center, called the National Center for Advancing Translation Sciences, has a $1 billion budget, paltry when compared to the $1 billion estimated cost of bringing a drug to market, though companies typically spend twice as much on marketing as on research. However, rather than develop drugs itself, the agency's goal is to do enough basic research to show private industry that a drug could be profitable. It's similar to some of the National Institutes of Health's duties, except that the new agency will go further, doing testing and even starting human trials. "None of this is intended to be competitive with the private sector," said the director of the institutes. "The hope would be that any project that reaches the point of commercial appeal would be moved out of the academic support line and into the private sector."
The 20 Most Effective Super Bowl Ads
The Daily Beast analyzes which big game commercials—from tackled grannies to streaking sheep—actually worked. View the best—and the worst.
Read it at The Daily Beast []
What Really Happened to the Patriot Act
Don't believe the stories that the House failed to extend the Patriot Act. Instead, this week the House voted 277 to 148 in favor of reauthorizing three key antiterrorism tools, two of which were from the Patriot Act. Former Bush official Viet D. Dinh on how Tuesday's vote really went down—and why we still need the Act's tools to fight terrorism.
Read it at The Daily Beast [$ZhB8YkdCy6]
Gates, Rumsfeld Sued Over U.S. Military's Rape Epidemic
A landmark lawsuit filed Tuesday against Defense Secretary Robert Gates and his predecessor, Donald Rumsfeld, alleges that the military's repeated failures to take action in rape cases created a culture where violence against women was tolerated, violating the plaintiffs' Constitutional rights.
Read it at The Daily Beast []
Barbour Drags GOP Backwards on Race
Mississippi Gov. Haley Barbour's refusal to denounce Confederate license plates for a former KKK Grand Wizard is just the latest example of a Republican Party grasping onto a bygone era—and damaging its electoral future. As The Daily Beast's Peter Beinart reports, for today's Republicans, blaming the media provides a way of ignoring what Bush and Rove knew: that in an increasingly multiracial electorate, a Republican Party that can't win non-white and non-Anglo votes can't win presidential elections.
Read it at The Daily Beast []
Congresswomen Electrify Planned Parenthood Abortion Debate
On Friday, 240 of 241 House Republicans voted to strip Planned Parenthood, the nation's leading provider of reproductive health care, of government funding. But the personal stories from Reps. Gwen Moore (D-WI) and Jackie Speier (D-CA) about an unplanned pregnancy and an abortion inspired women everywhere. The two congresswomen tell The Daily Beast's Michelle Goldberg why they decided to speak out. "I think what has happened is there's been an awakening in America of women who have thought for the longest time that their reproductive health experiences are private and they would have access to resources, and now are questioning that," Speier says.
Read it at The Daily Beast []
EPA declines to reconsider air-quality standards
The Environmental Protection Agency rejected appeals from industry groups, including the American Chemistry Council and the American Petroleum Institute, to re-evaluate stricter sulfur dioxide air-quality regulations that were implemented in 2010. The "petitions have provided inadequate and generally irrelevant arguments and evidence that the underlying information supporting the final revised SO2 Primary NAAQS [National Ambient Air Quality Standards] is flawed, misinterpreted or inappropriately applied by EPA," the agency said. The Hill/E2 Wire blog []
Hutchison: EPA climate regulations "wrong policy at the worst time"
The Environmental Protection Agency's efforts to roll out new climate regulations are "the wrong policy at the worst time," according to Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison, R-Texas. "EPA's backdoor climate regulations are likely to drive up the cost of energy in America. ... Families, commuters, truckers, farmers and fliers -- who now face gas and diesel prices that are significantly higher than last year -- are likely to be hit even harder with steep energy costs," Hutchison writes. The Politico (Washington, D.C.) []
Dooley urges Congress to evaluate EPA rules
A House resolution to review regulations that could harm U.S. industries is an opportunity to evaluate Environmental Protection Agency rules that will cost thousands of jobs and billions of dollars for companies, according to American Chemistry Council President and CEO Cal Dooley. Harsh limitations on emissions and soil dioxin levels are examples he cites of regulations that do great harm to companies. "Americans need sound regulations that protect safety, health and the environment, while also ensuring that businesses can grow and thrive in the United States," he writes. The Politico (Washington, D.C.) []
~~~~~ - - How can I run an inspiring news website when there are huge tragedies happening in Japan? That's what I'm talking about in this week's newspaper column [].

90 Year Old Race Track Worker Is Hero! - - Santa Anita paddock guard John Shear tossed a 6-year-old girl out of the path of a runaway horse just in time to be trampled himself.
Read More >> [,0,5490977.column?page=2]

Pages The Cat Looks For A Happy Ending - - I'm wondering if this Kansas library has adopted a cat or has the cat adopted the library?
Watch Video >> []
Why Surf When You Can Ride The Bus?

Get the scoop on computer viruses, search engines, spam, cookies, urban legends and the most useful sites on the Web. Internet guru Bob Rankin explains computer and Internet technology in plain English, with a dash of humor.
Bob Rankin

Bob Learn how to avoid the pitfalls of the Web, master the search engines, debunk urban legends, and more. Join 100,000 others from 130 countries -- hop on the Bus today and start receiving the FREE weekly email newsletter.

Wanna see what TOURBUS is like? Read the latest issue at
America is not at war. The military is at war. - - America is at the mall, or watching the movie stars. []
Each week the Defense Department highlights military personnel who have gone above and beyond in the war. [] - - Marci Hodge - - Awarded: The Bronze Star - - "In this job, you find out what you're made of; if you can hack it or not."

Recently promoted to Major, Marci Hodge knows a thing or two about what she's made of. She's spent ten years in the Army; 5 years on Active duty and another 5 so far in the Reserve. She returned from Camp Victory in Iraq, her second deployment, a couple of years ago.

"I'm not interested in reliving traumatic events. The job is to create stability and win hearts and minds," expressed Hodge, who spent 8 months in theater this last time.

MAJ Hodge, who served as Division Humanitarian Assistance Officer as well as the Battalion Sustainment Chief for the 401st Civil Affairs Battalion, is a logistician and civil affairs officer; simply put, "I can move anything," she said, like thousands of fourth and fifth grade level books for school children that the Department of State had been previously trying to move from Jordan to Iraq for the last few years with no luck.

Or such as in Iskandiayh, one of the 14 different locations her battalion covered in Iraq, where she worked on a project with local government to get a completely staffed plant that had survived the war back to fully functioning capacity. Working with one of the facility's managers- one of the few who spoke English at the plant- MAJ Hodge's team on the ground even helped establish organizational practices and human resources, bringing in corporate mentors from the United States.

Her team worked to ensure that the plant would be in a position to operate without the U. S.'s assistance in the future. They brought in older generators to their Forward Operating Base that the Army no longer needed but had the potential to refurbished, and presented the plant with and its employees with their first large project post-war. Local Iraqi truck drivers were also employed to transport the refurbished generators.

"It put folks back to work," said MAJ Hodge, citing at least a thousand workers associated with the local Iraqi plant's operations.

And it's the "folks" she's interacted with that have made the most significant impression on MAJ Hodge, including the Iraqi locals.

"People matter regardless of where they are," she said slowly, emphasizing that people are the same despite miles of ocean and geographic boundaries.

MAJ Hodge, awarded the Bronze Star for her meritorious service in Iraq, identified it as a "human connection" one that allows people to relate and help one another.

And according to MAJ Hodge, one would be hard-pressed to find "more amazing people" to work with than the American troops she's served alongside while in the Army, able to overcome the inevitable obstacles and disappointments that occur while deployed with camaraderie and hard work.

"It's your duty to give back," said Hodge. "You give it everything you've got."
The latest from Michael Yon, the foremost “milnews” blogger on the web.

A short dispatch is up about today's journey into enemy territory where I made a haunting image of a Taliban who was killed last night.

Many of the dispatches this year, such as this, will be completely unedited. Simply raw observations from the field. Please see "DEAD

Other dispatches can be seen at: []

Very Respectfully,
Michael Yon
Your Writer,

Please remember that this website accepts no advertisement and is dependent on your support.

PS Please sign up for my updates at "Michael_Yon" [] (not Michael Yon).
If you would like to encourage US Troops overseas, but are not sure just how to begin, visit for ideas.
Cinema, Video / TV We’ve Recently Watched:

Mega Mind
Morning Glory
Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps
Englishman Who Went Up a Hill
Welcome to Paradise
How to Train Your Dragon
The Maiden Heist
Happy Ever Afters
Someone Like You
Doctor in the House
The Chaperone
Knock on Wood
Desk Set
The Karate Kid
2001: A Space Odyssey
Mr. Peabody & The Mermaid
Don't Give Up the Ship
The Mouse on the Moon
Blithe Spirit
Visit to a Small Planet

Paper Books We’ve recently read:

"The First Casualty: The War Correspondent as Hero and Myth-Maker from the Crimea to Kosovo" by Mr. Phillip Knightley
“Gideon's War: A Novel” by Howard Gordon
I, sniper : a Bob Lee Swagger novel / Stephen Hunter.
Prophets of war : Lockheed Martin and the making of the military-industrial complex / William D. Hartung.
Crescent dawn / by Clive Cussler and Dirk Cussler.
Extreme measures / Vince Flynn.
The confession / John Grisham.
The last juror / John Grisham.
Kindle books we recently read:

Starman's Quest
The List
The Plague Camus, Albert,
The Works of Andre Norton (12 books) Norton, Andre
Space Prison, The Survivors Godwin, Tom
The John Carter of Mars Collection Burroughs, Edgar Rice

Photos on the front of this week’s “Bleat” include - - Dusty trying on his new Civil Air Patrol Uniform, Ethan and Josiah watching TV, some of our “N” scale rolling stock, Annette at Pattie’s Wedding and the tree across the street.
We’ve now got several addresses on the web for "Da Bleat." For the latest issue, go to
Our photos are posted at
Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
Recipe(s) - - 7 Superfood Supper Menus from dLife

Monday Night's Menu
Baked Halibut with Parmesan (0.4g carbs per serving)
Warm Barley with Walnuts (22g carbs per serving)
Avocado Salad with Thousand Island Dressing (13g carbs per serving)
Halibut is an all-star fish with loads of protein, B vitamins, and minerals such as selenium, magnesium, and potassium — not to mention a nice dose of those health-giving omega-3 fatty acids.
Barley is a diabetes-friendly grain because it has the lowest glycemic-index ranking of all the grains tested, and is a good source of fiber, even when it's been milled into pearl barley or barley flour. (Double the amount you need tonight, and keep the leftover barley in the fridge.) Once cooked, mix in some crushed walnuts for an omega-3 kick.
Next, round out your meal by tossing an avocado salad with a yogurt dressing. There, you get the amazing benefits of avocado's disease-fighting phytonutrients, heart-healthy monounsaturated fats, and the calcium and beneficial bacteria in yogurt. Last, the vinegar in the dressing provides another helping hand in moderating the blood-sugar rise after your meal.
Make your own, simple versions of these easy-to-prepare foods, or use the dLife recipes, above.

Tuesday Night's Menu
Walnut Chicken (2g carbs per serving)
Apricot-Almond Barley Salad (20g carbs per serving)
Rich Roasted Garlic Cauliflower (9g carbs per serving)
A great fall-back protein dish is pieces of boneless chicken dipped in egg and rolled in crushed nuts. Almonds are a low carb, nutrient-dense friend to people with diabetes, but you can use any nut you like and get great health benefits and a tasty crunch.
Tonight, use your leftover barley and eat it room-temperature as a salad with some onion and a vinaigrette or creamy dressing (see recipe below).
Next, roast one of the superstar cruciferous vegetables, such as broccoli, Brussels sprouts, cabbage, or cauliflower. A little oil, garlic, and Parmesan cheese can go a long way in making these nutrient powerhouses taste great.

Wednesday Night's Menu
Artichoke Frittata (8g carbs per serving)
Goat Cheese Salad (2g carbs per serving)
One half-cup of artichoke hearts contains 7 grams of fiber and 2 grams of protein. Chop up some frozen or canned artichoke hearts and combine this amazing veggie with another diabetes superfood — eggs. Add your favorite herbs and a little grated cheese and you have a nutrient-packed, simple entree. Toss salad greens with goat cheese and slivered or crushed nuts, and you have a perfect meal.

Thursday Night's Menu
Fennel-Crusted, Grilled Flank Steak (1g carb/serving)
Bulgur & Veggies (24g carbs/serv)
Spinach & Mixed Greens (3g carbs/serv)
Flank steak is a flavorful, inexpensive cut of meat that is usually marinated and grilled. The recipe above allows for pan-frying if grilling isn't an option.
Bulgur wheat is a diabetes-friendly stand-in for rice or couscous, with more nutrients and a lower glycemic index (less impact on blood sugar). Bulgur, like barley, is a versatile grain and worth making extra when you cook a batch. You may even want to use it as a hot cereal in the morning with some warm milk and fruit.
To complete this dinner, toss a green salad, with as few or as many types of greens as you have. Remember, you can always add some crushed walnuts and crumbled or shaved cheese to any green salad as a flavor and nutrient boost.

Friday Night's Menu
Cucumber, Yogurt, and Dill Soup (19.5g/carbs per serving)
Chicken Curry (9g carbs per serving)
Spiced Green Beans (6g carbs per serving)
Turmeric is the spice that gives curry its distinctive bright yellow color, and curcumin is the component in turmeric that makes it so good for us. According to dLife columnist Dr. Paul Chous, "Curcumin is an antioxidant .... that has proven effective in treating chronic conditions like diabetes, cancer, arteriosclerosis, and gastro-intestinal diseases in animal models...." In tonight's menu, you'll reap the benefits of this Indian spice, along with those of a refreshing soup that contains the diabetes superfoods yogurt, onions, and vinegar, along with fresh cucumber and a good dose of fiber. Have nutrient-packed, anti-inflammatory, antioxidant green beans as a side dish and you have a true diabetes supermeal.

Saturday Night's Menu
Edamame Snackers (8g carbs per serving)
Grilled Salmon with Fresh Herb Sauce (5g carbs per serving)
Grilled Asparagus (6g carbs per serving)
Edamame, or green soybeans, are high in protein and fiber and full of great phytonutrients. If you've never taken to tofu, these tasty legumes are a perfect way to reap the health benefits of soy. All they need is a sprinkling of salt and you can eat them right out of the pods.
Next, nothing beats salmon on the grill except salmon on the grill with a tasty sauce made from fresh summer greens like arugula. For your side, grill up some simple asparagus, a vegetable with bursting with vitamins, minerals, and healthy fiber.

Sunday Night's Menu
Asian Tuna Burgers (8g carbs per serving)
Broccoli with Ginger (6g carbs per serving)
The gnarly ginger root has been used in traditional medicine for eons. Most well known as a treatment for nausea, ginger has anti-inflammatory properties, too.
A great way to incorporate ginger into food while also getting the beneficial omega-3 fatty acids from fish is to make fish burgers. Finely chop tuna or salmon (or any fatty, cold water fish) and combine it with chopped scallions, minced ginger, and low-sodium soy sauce. Form patties and press them into a mixture of whole-wheat bread crumbs and your favorite nuts, crushed. You can use this same method with ground turkey, which can make a dry burger if you don’t add some moist fillings. (Grated zucchini and silken tofu are other great fillers that will moisten up a turkey burger or turkey meatloaf.)
Serve with broccoli or greens sauteed with garlic and ginger.

Right about now, some of you may be saying "What about dessert?" Well, what about it? Dessert is a custom we've become used to, but there's really no rule out there that says your biggest meal of the day should be followed by something sweet.
Think about the European custom of eating your salad after your entree and having a cheese plate to finish your meal. You might be surprised at how satisfying a few pieces of delicious cheese can be to top off a meal. Another great idea at the end of a meal is nuts. Buy an assortment of nuts in the shell and put a big bowl on the table with some nutcrackers.
Finally, when berries are in season, add a bowl of those to the after-dinner repertoire. Raspberries, another diabetes superfood, are a low carb, high-fiber treat.

Last But Not Least
Don't forget the most important component of any diabetes-friendly meal: relax and enjoy it. Stress is the most insidious contributor to health problems, and these days it takes effort to keep things simple and stress-free. But along with healthy eating and exercise, it may well be the best thing you can do for your diabetes health.

Printed from

BreakPoint - - The Adjustment Bureau
Pass the Popcorn and Ask the Questions
By: Chuck Colson|Published: March 25, 2011 12:00 AM
Topics: Movies, Theology, Worldview

Predestination, free will . . . these are hardly topics you’d expect to see Hollywood take on.

In the February issue of GQ, Mark Harris tells the story of “The Day the Movies Died.”

By “died,” Harris doesn’t mean that Hollywood is going out of business. Instead, he means that “the majority of studio movies are aimed” at men under 25, whom, evidence suggests, will watch anything “as long as it’s spiked with the proper set of stimulants.” If you’re not an immature male, there’s increasingly little for you to see at the movies.

This is doubly true for thoughtful Christians. The vast majority of Hollywood fare leaves the Christian viewer feeling like he needs to confess his sins, or has killed billions of his brain cells. Even in the case of most “serious” films, with their nihilism or their banality, all there is to say is “don’t bother to go.”

Thankfully, there are exceptions like the new film The Adjustment Bureau. The movie, based on a short story by science-fiction writer Phillip K. Dick, tells your classic “boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy tries to get girl back” story, but with a twist -- a twist indebted to the Christian worldview.

In the film, Matt Damon plays David, a congressman who loses his first senate bid. While preparing his concession speech, he meets Elise, played by Emily Blunt, with whom he shares an attraction. Inspired by her, he re-writes his speech in a way that makes him more popular.

Four years later, they meet again on a bus, and their attraction is re-kindled. But when David arrives at work he is told by mysterious agents of the Adjustment Bureau that he and Elise were never meant to be together. “The Chairman” has something much more important planned for David.

What follows is an entertaining ride that columnist Terry Mattingly sums up as “John Calvin caught in ‘The Matrix,’ wrestling with caseworkers from ‘Men in Black.’”

It’s a ride that is deeply indebted to Christianity. While he avoids specific religious references, writer-director George Nolfi acknowledged that at the heart of the story is the “conception of an all-powerful and all-knowing Higher Power that is also good . . .”

Of course, that conception is very specific: It only makes sense if the “Higher Power” being depicted is the God of the Bible.

Likewise, the issue of free will versus predestination is a debate that the West inherited from Christianity. When Nolfi says that “good and evil don’t mean much if you don’t have any free will,” he is reiterating the message of Christians handed down through the millennia.

You may not agree with the way The Adjustment Bureau resolves these issues, but you have to applaud Nolfi for taking them on in the first place. Not only because he depicts a purposeful and intelligent universe, but because his film provides a chance to discuss the questions and issues raised by believing in such a universe.

And prompting these kinds of discussions is the best we can hope for from a trip to the multiplex. Unfortunately, these kinds of experiences are increasingly rare, which is why we should appreciate efforts like The Adjustment Bureau all the more.

As always, use judgment before going to the movies. The Adjustment Bureau is rated PG-13 for mild profanity and one suggestive situation.

But it may get you into some interesting conversations with your non-believing friends.

Further Reading and Information

Angels and Damon (and free will) []
Terry Mattingly | | March 07, 2011

Divine Sovereignty or Mere Adjustment? []
Jason Stellman | The Reformed Arsenal | March 14, 2011
Residents of Columbia County, Arkansas are represented in Congress by:

Senator John Boozman (R_ AR)
1 Russell Courtyard
Washington DC, 20510
Phone: 202-224-4843
Senator Mark Pryor (D_ AR)
Phone 202_224_2353
FAX 202_228_0908
Representative Michael A. Ross (D _ 04)
Phone 202_225_3772
FAX 202_225_1314

Other states congresspersons can be found at: []
Words of the Day: bumptious
\ BUMP-shuhs \ , adjective;
Crudely, presumptuously, or loudly self-assertive.
"The respect of those you respect is worth more than the applause of the multitude." - Arnold Glasow

"A man doesn't begin to attain wisdom until he recognizes that he is no longer indispensable." - Richard Byrd

"Fear paralyzes; curiosity empowers. Be more interested than afraid." - Patricia Alexander

"I do not have what I own, nor do I have what I do. I only have what I am." - D. Trinidad Hunt

"Jealousy is the jaundice of the soul." - John Dryden

"Power is the ability not to have to please." - Elizabeth Janeway

"Man must cease attributing his problems to his environment and learn again to exercise his will -- his personal responsibility." - Albert Schweitzer

"Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, get better answers." - Anthony Robbins

"We all admire the wisdom of people who come to us for advice." - Jack Herbert

"Existence was given us for action. Our worth is determined by the good deed we do, rather than by the fine emotions we feel." - George MacDonald

"Always be smarter than the people who hire you." - Lena Horne

"When you feel good about yourself, others will feel good about you, too." - Jake Steinfeld

"If there is such a thing as good leadership, it is to give a good example." - Ingvar Kamprad

"Mystery creates wonder and wonder is the basis of man's desire to understand." - Neil Armstrong

"A belief which leaves no place for doubt is not a belief; it is a superstition." - Jose Bergamin

"Whatever you do, you must remain nimble in your thinking. Do not become so attached to any one belief that you cannot see past it to another possibility." - Christopher Paolini

"Belief in the truth commences with the doubting of all those 'truths' we once believed." - Friedrich Nietzsche

"Belief consists in accepting the affirmations of the soul; unbelief, in denying them. Some minds are incapable of skepticism." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"The belief that there is only one truth and that oneself is in possession of it seems to me the deepest root of all evil that is in the world." - Max Born

"We have no more right to consume happiness without producing it than to consume wealth without producing it." - George Bernard Shaw

"Power will accomplish much, but perseverance more." - William Scott Downey

"Optimism is the madness of insisting that all is well when we are miserable." - Voltaire

"Keep your thoughts positive, because your thoughts become your words. Keep your words positive, because your words become your behavior. Keep your behavior positive, because your behavior become your habits. Keep your habits positive, because your habits become your values. Keep your values positive, because your values become your destiny." - Mahatma Gandhi

"Oh, if it be to choose and call thee mine, love, thou art every day my Valentine!" - Thomas Hood

"Like pride, blind optimism may go before a fall." - David Myers

"Our belief at the beginning of a doubtful undertaking is the one thing that ensures the successful outcome of the venture." - William James

"Imagination is more important than knowledge." - Albert Einstein

"Everything that happens is at least one dimension smaller than you've imagined it to be." - Wolfgang Hildesheimer

"The imagination, give it the least license, dives deeper and soars higher than Nature goes." - Henry David Thoreau

"They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night." - Edgar Allen Poe

"We do not need magic to change the world. We carry all the power we need inside ourselves already: we have the power to imagine better." - J. K. Rowling

"Indulge your imagination in every possible flight." - Jane Austen
"You're born an original. Don't die a copy." - John Mason

"Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes." - Oscar Wilde
"Outstanding leaders go out of their way to boost the self-esteem of their personnel. If people believe in themselves, it's amazing what they can accomplish." - Sam Walton

"Leadership consists of nothing but taking responsibility for everything that goes wrong and giving your subordinates credit for everything that goes well." - Dwight Eisenhower

"The strongest man in the world is he who stands most alone." - Henrik Ibsen

"Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new." - Albert Einstein

"Seize the moments of happiness, love and be loved! That is the only reality in the world, all else is folly." - Leo Tolstoy

"A man who lives right, and is right, has more power in his silence than another has by his words." - Phillips Brooks

"Always try to do something for the other fellow and you will be agreeably surprised how things come your way -- how many pleasing things are done for you." - Claude M. Bristol

"Superstition is foolish, childish, primitive and irrational -- but how much does it cost you to knock on wood?" - Judith Viorst

"There never was a good war, or a bad peace." - Benjamin Franklin

"Happiness is not a brilliant climax to years of grim struggle and anxiety. It is a long succession of little decisions simply to be happy in the moment."- J. Donald Walters

"In wartime truth is so precious that she should always be attended by a bodyguard of lies." - Winston Churchill

"Nothing is more dangerous than a friend without discretion; even a prudent enemy is preferable." - Jean de La Fontaine

"As soon as we abandon our own reason, and are content to rely upon authority, there is no end to our troubles." - Bertrand Russell

"A critic is a man who knows the way but can't drive the car." - Kenneth Tynan

"Accept the challenges so that you may feel the exhilaration of victory." - George S. Patton Jr.

"In moderating, not satisfying desires, lies peace." - Ben Hecht

"Happiness is a function of accepting what is." - Werner Erhard

"The first panacea for a mismanaged nation is inflation of the currency; the second is war. Both bring a temporary prosperity; both bring a permanent ruin. But both are the refuge of political and economic opportunists." - Ernest Hemingway

"However much I am at the mercy of the world I never let myself get lost by brooding over its misery. I hold firmly to the thought that each one of us can do a little to bring some portion of that misery to an end." - Albert Schweitzer

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it's the only thing that ever has." - Margaret Mead

"Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people." - Eleanor Roosevelt

"Education would be so much more effective if its purpose were to ensure that by the time they leave school every boy and girl should know how much they don't know, and be imbued with a lifelong desire to know it." - Sir William Haley

"Today is only one day in all the days that will ever be. But what will happen in all the other days that ever come can depend on what you do today." - Ernest Hemingway

"Where they burn books, in the end they will also burn people." - Heinrich Heine

"Life is known only by those who have found a way to be comfortable with change and the unknown. Given the nature of life, there may be no security, but only adventure." - Rachel Naomi Remen

"Do not fear mistakes. You will know failure. Continue to reach out." - Benjamin Franklin

"Moral responsibility is not just a matter of avoiding harm to others; it also means helping people in need." - Michael Nedelsky

"One of the striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives." - Mark Twain

"If you can't change your fate, change your attitude." - Amy Tan

Japan's Tragedy Turns Spiritual - - Teresa Neumann (Mar 21, 2011)
"People are engaging in spiritual conversation with strangers. That's just not typical."

Studies Show Prayer Works to Calm Anger - - Brad Bushman (Mar 22, 2011)
"The effects we found in these experiments were quite large, which suggests that prayer may really be an effective way to calm anger and aggression. It may not benefit their enemies, but it may help them deal with the negative emotions." -Brad Bushman

310 2nd Ave SE
Albany, Oregon 97321
US Orders: 1_866_358_7426

><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
GCF: Just Hanging Out

Emailed to me another humor list (Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh List) -Tom Subscribe to Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh list at the website: Subscribe

If this was forwarded to you, please consider your own subscription to Good Clean Fun. It's free! Just send an email to:

A woman called the dean of the college that her freshman son was going to. "I'm worried. I don't know who my son can hang out with. He doesn't have the kind of money all the other students have."

The dean replied, "He can hang out with the faculty."
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me from another humor list (Clean Laffs) -Tom Subscribe to Clean Laffs at the website: Subscribe

GCF: Who Inherits?

I was in my Wills and Trusts course when the professor posed this question to the students: Why do people choose to have their children, rather than their siblings, inherit their estate?

After students offered various theories, one fellow raised his hand. "This may be a bit off the point," he said, "but when I was little, when my brother and sister finished playing with me, they would put me into a drawer."
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me another humor list (Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh List) -Tom Subscribe to Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh list at the website: Subscribe

GCF: Knowing Your Spouse

One of the funniest memories I have of the trials and tribulations of making the journey from childhood to adulthood was our annual summer vacation trek from Chicago to a cabin usually someplace on a lake in Wisconsin or Michigan.

Every year, it seems, we would get on a highway a few miles out of the city, and mom would wail, "Oh my goodness! I think left the iron on." And almost every year we would turn around and go back. But as I recall, not once was it was ever plugged in. She often had the same fear that all our earthly possessions would disappear in a fire caused by her forgetfulness.

When I was about 14 years old, we were headed out of Chicago for Lake Geneva, Wisconsin and, sure enough, Mom gasped, "I just know I left the iron on."

My father didn't say a word, just pulled over onto the shoulder of the road, got out, opened the trunk and handed her the iron.
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me from another humor list (Clean Laffs) -Tom Subscribe to Clean Laffs at the website: Subscribe

GCF: Wine Connoisseur?

When it comes to wine I'm very particular about what I buy. There are two things I look for before making my selection.

First, the word "Wine" must appear somewhere on the label. This is something upon which I insist.

Second, I look for a sign nearby that says "On Sale."

Follow these two rules and you won't go far wrong.
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me another humor list (ArcaMax Jokes) -Tom To subscribe ArcaMax Jokes, visit the website:

GCF: Ohio Fliers

The U.S. Postal Service issued a stamp honoring the one hundredth anniversary of the first flight by the Wright Brothers.

The first man in powered flight was from Ohio.

The first man ever to orbit Earth was from Ohio.

And the first man on the moon was from Ohio.

It sounds like a lot of people are trying to get out of Ohio.
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me another humor list (ArcaMax Jokes) -Tom To subscribe ArcaMax Jokes, visit the website:

GCF: Political Liar?

A politician was running for re-election and was talking at a campaign stop to his constituents.

"My opponent has called me a liar. Rest assured, I have never lied to you. The only problem I have is that the facts don't always match up with what I believe."
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me another humor list (ArcaMax Jokes) -Tom To subscribe ArcaMax Jokes, visit the website:

GCF: Art Supply

I used to work in an art supply store. We sold artists' canvas by the yard, and you could get it in either of two widths: 36 inches or 48 inches.

Customer: "Can you please cut some canvas for me?"

Me: "Certainly, what width?"

Customer: (confused and slightly annoyed) "Scissors?"
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me another humor list (Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh List) -Tom Subscribe to Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh list at the website: Subscribe

GCF: Wedding Speech

My nephew was getting married to a doctor's daughter.

At the wedding reception, the father of the bride stood to read his toast, which he had scribbled on a piece of scrap paper. Several times during his speech, he halted, overcome with what I assumed was a moment of deep emotion.

But after a particularly long pause, he explained, "I'm sorry. I can't seem to make out what I've written down."

Looking out into the audience, he asked, "Is there a pharmacist in the house?"
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me another humor list (Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh List) -Tom Subscribe to Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh list at the website: Subscribe

GCF: Toilet Seat

I bought a great new toilet seat recently. On the label was a suggestion on how to clean it.

Although nice to have the option, I doubt I'll take advantage of it.

My toilet seat, it seems, is "Dishwasher Safe."
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me another humor list (Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh List) -Tom Subscribe to Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh list at the website: Subscribe

GCF: Bakery Robbery

My cousin was behind the bakery's cash register one morning when a gunman burst in and demanded all the cash.

As she nervously handed over the money, she noticed the rolls of coins in the back of the register.

"Do you want the rolls too?" she asked.

"No," said the robber, waving his gun. "Just the money."
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me from another humor list (Daily Humor) -Tom To subscribe to Daily Humor, send a blank email to:

GCF: Taxi Driver

Bernard Lind was retired, but took odd jobs to make a little extra money. One of his jobs was a taxi driver.

The cab company had a sign posted in all their cars saying, "Your driver is: ______"

Bernie always got a kick out of watching his rider's reactions when they read, "Your driver is: B.LIND."
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me another humor list (Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh List) -Tom Subscribe to Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh list at the website: Subscribe

GCF: Dress the Part

Before my son could start going on job interviews, he needed to dress the part. That, he decided, required a $500 suit.

"What!?" I answered, gagging at the price tag. "I've bought cars for $500!"

"That's why I want the $500 suit," he said. "So I don't have to drive $500 cars."
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me another humor list (Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh List) -Tom Subscribe to Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh list at the website: Subscribe

GCF: In the Bathroom

A little three-year-old boy is sitting on the toilet. His mother thinks he has been in there too long, so she goes in to see what's up.

The little boy is sitting on the toilet reading a book. But about every 10 seconds or so he puts the book down, grips onto the toilet seat with his left hand and hits himself on top of the head with his right hand.

His mother says, "Billy, are you all right? You've been in there for a while."

Billy says, "I'm fine, Mommy. I just haven't gone yet."

Mother says, "Okay, you can stay in there a few more minutes, but Billy, why are you hitting yourself on the head?"

Billy says, "Works for ketchup!"
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me another humor list (Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh List) -Tom Subscribe to Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh list at the website: Subscribe

GCF: Feeding the Baby

My husband is wonderful with our baby daughter, but often he turns to me for advice. Recently, I was in the shower when he poked his head in to ask, "What should I feed Lily for lunch?"

"That's up to you," I replied. "There's all kinds of food. Why don't you pretend I'm not at home?"

A few minutes later, my cell phone rang. I answered it to hear my husband asking, "Yeah, hi, Honey. Uh...what should I feed Lily for lunch?"
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, Victor) - Tom

GCF: Feeding the Baby

A first-time father was taking a turn at feeding the baby some strained peas. Naturally, there were traces of the food everywhere, especially on the infant.

His wife comes in, looks at the infant, then at her husband staring into space, then says, "What in the world are you doing?"

He replied, "I'm waiting for the first coat to dry, so I can put on another."
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me from another humor list (Daily Humor) -Tom To subscribe to Daily Humor, send a blank email to:

GCF: Poisoned Apple

When my daughter was three, we watched Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs for the first time. The wicked queen appeared, disguised as an old lady selling apples, and my daughter was spellbound. Then Snow White took a bite of the poisoned apple and fell to the ground unconscious. As the apple rolled away, my daughter spoke up. "See, Mom. She doesn't like the skin either."
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me another humor list (Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh List) -Tom Subscribe to Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh list at the website: Subscribe

GCF: Dog Report

Craig's two kids are in the same class at school, and the teacher had the class write reports about their pets. After the reports were all turned in, the teacher called one of the youngsters up to her desk and scolded him.

"This report on 'My Dog' is exactly, word for word, the same as your brother's. Did you copy from him?"

He replies, "No Ma'am. It's about the same dog."
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me another humor list (ArcaMax Jokes) -Tom To subscribe ArcaMax Jokes, visit the website:

GCF: Angry Senator

A member of the Senate, known for his hot temper and acid tongue, explodes one day in mid session and begins to shout, "Half of this Senate is made up of cowards and corrupt politicians!"

All the other Senators plead to the angry member that he withdraw his statement, or be removed from the remainder of the session. After a long pause, the angry member accepted.

"Ok" he said, "I withdraw what I said. Now I will go on the record and state that half of this Senate is NOT made up of cowards and corrupt politicians!"
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me from another humor list (Daily Humor) -Tom To subscribe to Daily Humor, send a blank email to:

GCF: VIP Impression

My husband was once employed in the printing division of a large manufacturing firm. One morning, word came from the top that some visiting VIPs would be touring the plant in just a few minutes. All production was immediately shut down as employees scrambled to quickly tidy up the work place.

When the appointed lookout yelled, "Here they come!" fifty fingers that were poised over fifty machine start-up buttons pressed down in unison and blew every fuse in the building.
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me from another humor list (Daily Humor) -Tom To subscribe to Daily Humor, send a blank email to:

GCF: 24 Hour Service

Needing some clothes cleaned in a hurry, a man searched the small Georgia town in which he was visiting until he found a sign which read: "Cleaning and Pressing, 24-Hour Service."

After explaining his needs, he said, "I'll be back for my suit tomorrow."

"Won't be ready until Saturday," replied the proprietor.

"But I thought you had 24-hour service," the customer protested.

"We do, son," the proprietor said reproachfully. "But we only work eight hours a day. Today's Thursday - eight hours today, eight hours Friday, eight on Saturday. That's 24-hour service."
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me another humor list (Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh List) -Tom Subscribe to Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh list at the website: Subscribe

GCF: Historic Recall

Ms. Crabtree had been telling her 1st grade class the story of the discovery of America by Columbus.

She concluded with, "And all this happened more than 500 years ago."

"Wow!" exclaimed one student, "What a great memory you have!"
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me from another humor list (Daily Humor) -Tom To subscribe to Daily Humor, send a blank email to:

GCF: Potential Juror

As a potential juror in an assault-and-battery case, I was sitting in a courtroom, answering questions from both sides.

The prosecutor asked had I ever been mugged? Did I know the victim or the defendant?

The defense attorney took a different approach. "I see you are a teacher," he said. "What do you teach?"

"English and theater," I responded.

"Then I guess I better watch my grammar," the defense attorney quipped.

"No" I shot back. "You better watch your acting."

I was excused from the case.
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me from another humor list (Daily Humor) -Tom To subscribe to Daily Humor, send a blank email to:

GCF: ID Required

My friend Bev and her husband were fixing their roof. As soon as they started, they realized they needed more supplies, so Bev grabbed the checkbook, jumped into her car, and drove the 45 miles to the nearest lumberyard.

After gathering the items she needed, Bev went up to the cashier and wrote a check. "I really need to see a photo ID." the clerk said.

"I don't have one on me," Bev replied.

The cashier called over the manager who examined the check. Then the manager looked up and asked Bev, "Who is the Avon lady in your town?"

Puzzled, Bev responded, "Maxine Thompson."

"I think you can take her check," the smiling manager said to the cashier. "Maxine is my grandmother."
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me another humor list (Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh List) -Tom Subscribe to Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh list at the website: Subscribe

GCF: Barbecue Forks

As the coals from our barbecue burned down, our hosts passed out marshmallows and long roasting forks.

Just then, two fire trucks roared by, sirens blaring, lights flashing. They stopped at a house right down the block.

All twelve of us raced out of the back yard, down the street, where we found the owners of the blazing house standing by helplessly. They glared at us with looks of disgust.

Suddenly, we realized why.....

We were all still holding our roasting forks with marshmallows on them.
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me from another humor list (Daily Humor) -Tom To subscribe to Daily Humor, send a blank email to:

GCF: Illegal Hookup

In my work for a cable TV company, I frequently encounter illegal hookups. One day I arrived at a repair job just as the homeowner was pulling into the driveway. She pointed the way where the TV was located and then walked out to get her groceries and the mail.

I noticed that there was a note on the TV: "Don't forget to hide the descramblers before the cable guy comes. Love, Steve."
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me another humor list (ArcaMax Jokes) -Tom To subscribe ArcaMax Jokes, visit the website:

GCF: Bad Coffee

Late one night I stopped at one of those 24-hour gas station mini-marts to get myself a fresh-brewed cup of coffee. When I picked up the pot, I could not help noticing that the brew was as black as asphalt and just about as thick.

"How old is this coffee?" I asked the woman who was standing behind the store counter.

She shrugged. "I don't know. I've only been working here two weeks."
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me another humor list (Good Clean Funnies List) -Tom To subscribe The Good Clean Funnies List, (not to be confused with this list, which is Good Clean Fun) send an email to: with subject = add

GCF: Grandchildren?

I know my company has made a big effort to be family friendly, but I was baffled when I read this holiday announcement posted on the bulletin board:

"All employees are invited to the annual Christmas party. All children under the age of ten will receive a gift from Santa. Employees who have no children may bring grandchildren."
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me another humor list (Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh List) -Tom Subscribe to Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh list at the website: Subscribe

GCF: Baggage Problem

The flight attendant watched a passenger try to stuff his hopelessly overloaded bags into the overhead bin. Finally she informed him that he would have to check the over-sized luggage.

"When I fly other airlines," he said irritably, "I never have this problem!"

She smiled and said, "Sir, when you fly other airlines, I don't have this problem either."
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me another humor list (Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh List) -Tom Subscribe to Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh list at the website: Subscribe

GCF: Introductions

One day while shopping, my chatter-bug daughter who was three at the time introduced herself to the lady behind us at the checkout counter.

She proceeded to tell the lady her sister's name and then said to the lady, "This is my mom. Her name is Mom."

_ _____________________________________ _
Emailed to me from another humor list (Daily Humor) -Tom To subscribe to Daily Humor, send a blank email to:

GCF: Aging Thoroughbred

A buyer was considering purchasing an aging thoroughbred but wanted a veterinarian's opinion of the horse before finalizing the deal. When the vet had completed his examination the potential buyer asked, "Will I be able to race him?"

The veterinarian looked at the buyer, then at the horse.

"Sure," he replied, "And you'll probably win!"

_ _____________________________________ _
Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, Barney) - Tom

GCF: The Sermon

One beautiful Sunday morning, a minister announced to his congregation:

"My good people, I have here in my hands three sermons ... a $100 sermon that lasts five minutes, a $50 sermon that lasts fifteen minutes, and a $10 sermon that lasts a full hour.

"Now, we'll take the collection and see which one I'll deliver."
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, Marlene) - Tom

GCF: Your Homework?

Teacher: "why is your homework in your father's handwriting?"

Student: "Uh, I used his pen."
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, Becky) - Tom

GCF: What Watson Heard

The scene: Alexander Graham Bell's laboratory.

An exciting new discovery is about to take place. Mr. Bell and his assistant, Mr. Watson, have been hard at work on Bell's new invention to transmit sound over wires.

As Mr. Watson toiled away in the room with the receiver, he suddenly hears: Ring Ring ... Ring Ring


"Good evening, sir. Are you paying too much for your long distance service?"
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, John) - Tom

GCF: Train Service

A passenger train is creeping along, painfully slow. Finally, it creaks to a complete halt. A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside. "What's going on?" she yells out the window.

"Cow on the track!" replies the conductor.

Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace. Within five minutes, however, it stops again. The woman sees the same conductor walking by again. She leans out the window and yells, "What happened? Did we catch up with the cow again?"
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me from another humor list (Joanna's Jokes) -Tom To subscribe to Joanna's Jokes, send a blank email to:


GCF: Assault Procedures

While conducting a training course in assault procedures for our weapons storage area, we discussed the proper actions to take should one of our structures be occupied by hostile forces. After carefully outlining the positions and actions of various teams, I asked one of the troops, "Which team enters the structure first?"

He didn't know the correct answer, but gave me one he felt was in line with Air Force policy: "The team with the most junior enlisted men?"
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me from another humor list (Daily Humor) -Tom To subscribe to Daily Humor, send a blank email to:

GCF: Hearing Aid?

While talking with my semi-deaf uncle one evening, I noticed that his "hearing aid" was actually an earphone from a transistor radio. The wire had been cut and was sticking out of his shirt.

"How does that help your hearing?" I asked.

"Don't help my hearing none. Makes people talk louder."
_ _______________________________ _
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / Tell a man that there are \ \_/ ////
\ / 400 billion stars, and he'll \ /
\ _/believe you. But, tell him a bench \_ /
/ / has wet paint, and he has to touch it.\ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Before you point your fingers \ /
\ _/ be sure your hands are clean. \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Age is a very high price \ /
\ _/ to pay for maturity. \_ /
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / I wish the buck stopped here. \ /
\ _/ I could use a few. \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / The only cure for insomnia \ /
\ _/ is to get more sleep. \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / There are two theories \ /
\ _/ to arguing with women. \_ /
/ / Neither one works. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / Teenagers express their \ \_/ ////
\ / burning desires to be \ /
\ _/ different by dressing \_ /
/ / exactly alike. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Two wrongs don't make a right, \ /
\ _/ but three rights make a left. \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / "Why don't you buy \ /
\ _/ lottery tickets?" \_ /
/ / "It's cheaper and the \ \
results are the same."
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Little known fact: \ /
\ _/ Every day more money is printed \_ /
/ / for Monopoly than the US Treasury. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / The things that come to \ \_/ ////
\ / those who wait are usually \ /
\ _/ the things left by those \_ /
/ / who got there first. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / The only people who listen \ /
\ _/ to both sides of an argument \_ /
/ / are the neighbors. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / The 50-50-90 rule: \ \_/ ////
\ / Anytime you have a 50-50 chance \ /
\ _/of getting something right, there's\_ /
/ / a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.\ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Confidence is the feeling \ /
\ _/ you have before you really \_ /
/ / understand the problem. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Latest survey shows that \ /
\ _/ 3 out of 4 people make up 75% \_ /
/ / of the world's population. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / If a tree fell in the forest, \ \_/ ////
\ / and everyone in the world was \ /
\ _/ there to hear it, would it make \_ /
/ / a really, really loud noise? \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / To succeed in politics, \ /
\ _/ it is often necessary to \_ /
/ / rise above your principles. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / A cubicle is just a \ /
\ _/ padded cell without a door. \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / If the universe is really \ /
\ _/ expanding, why can't \_ /
/ / I find a parking space? \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Change is good. \ /
\ _/ Dollars are better. \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Don't hate yourself \ /
\ _/ in the morning. \_ /
/ / Sleep until noon. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Every time history repeats \ /
\ _/ itself the price goes up. \_ /
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / It is easier to get older \ /
\ _/ than it is to get wiser. \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Just because you have the \ /
\ _/ right to do something, \_ /
/ / doesn't mean it's the \ \
right thing to do.
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / I finally got my \ /
\ _/ head together, now my \_ /
/ / body is falling apart. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / I went to school \ /
\ _/ to become a wit; \_ /
/ / only got halfway through. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / What do you call a \ /
\ _/ boomerang that doesn't work? \_ /
/ / (A stick.) \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / When your pet bird sees \ \_/ ////
\ / you reading the newspaper, \ /
\ _/ does he wonder why you're just \_ /
/ / sitting there, staring at carpeting? \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Why do we play in recitals \ /
\ _/ and recite in plays? \_ /
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Real generosity is doing \ /
\ _/ something nice for someone \_ /
/ / who will never find out. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / No one is listening \ /
\ _/ until you make a mistake. \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / I doubt, therefore \ /
\ _/ I might be. \_ /
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / Show me a man with both feet \ \_/ ////
\ / on the ground, and I'll \ /
\ _/ show you a man who \_ /
/ / can't put on his pants. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / I must learn to slow \ /
\ _/ downandnotrushthroughwhatIdo. \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Skier: someone who pays an \ /
\ _/ arm and a leg for the \_ /
/ / opportunity to break them. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / My biggest problem is that \ /
\ _/ I believe almost everything \_ /
/ / I tell myself. \ \
_ ____________________________ _
/ )| Thomas S. Ellsworth |( \
/ / | | \ \
_( (_ || _) )_
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_| ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Are you smarter than a 60 year old?



I was picky who I sent this to. It had to be those who might actually remember. So have some fun my sharp-witted friends. This is a test for us 'old kids'! The answers are printed below, but don't cheat.

01.After the Lone Ranger saved the day and rode off into the sunset, the grateful citizens would ask, Who was that masked man? Invariably, someone would answer, I don't know, but he left this behind. What did he leave behind?________________.

02.When the Beatles first came to the U.S. .In early 1964, we all watched them on The _______________ Show.

03'Get your kicks, __________________.'

04.'The story you are about to see is true. The names have been changed to ___________________.'

05.'In the jungle, the mighty jungle, ________________.'

06. After the Twist, The Mashed Potato, and the Watusi, we 'danced' under a stick that was lowered as low as we could go in a dance called the '_____________.'

07.Nestle's makes the very best . .. . . _________ ______.'

08..Satchmo was America 's 'Ambassador of Goodwill.' Our parents shared this great jazz trumpet player with us. His name was _________________.

09.What takes a licking and keeps on ticking? _______________.

10. Red Skeleton's hobo character was named __________________ and Red always ended his television show by saying, 'Good Night, and '________ ________.. '

11.Some Americans who protested the Vietnam War did so by burning their______________.

12. The cute little car with the engine in the back and the trunk in the front was called the VW. What other names did it go by? ____________ &_______________.

13.In 1971, singer Don MacLean sang a song about, 'the day the music died.' This was a tribute to ___________________.

14..We can remember the first satellite placed into orbit. The Russians did it. It was called ___________________.

15. One of the big fads of the late 50's and 60's was a large plastic ring that we twirled around our waist. It was called the __ ______________.

01..The Lone Ranger left behind a silver bullet.
02.The Ed Sullivan Show
03..On Route 66
04..To protect the innocent.
05.The Lion Sleeps Tonight
06.The limbo
08..Louis Armstrong
09.The Timex watch
10..Freddy, The Freeloader and 'Good Night and God Bless.'
11.Draft cards (Bras were also burned. Not flags, as some have guessed)
12.Beetle or Bug
13.Buddy Holly

Thanks to Joe Mullins
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
One sunny day in January, 2013 an old man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue, where he'd been sitting on a park bench. He spoke to the U.S. Marine standing guard and said, "I would like to go in and meet with President Obama."

The Marine looked at the man and said, "Sir, Mr. Obama is no longer President and no longer resides here."

The old man said, "Okay", and walked away.

The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, "I would like to go in and meet with President Obama." The Marine again told the man, “Sir, as I said yesterday, Mr. Obama is no longer president and no longer resides here."

The man thanked him and, again, just walked away.

The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke to the very same U.S. Marine, saying "I would like to go in and meet with President Obama"

The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and said, "Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Mr. Obama. I've told you already that Mr. Obama is no longer the President and no longer resides here. Don't you understand?"

The old man looked at the Marine and said, "Oh, I understand. I just love hearing it."

The Marine snapped to attention, saluted, and said, "See you tomorrow.

Thanks to Gary Foreman
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
The latest GCFL funny can always be found on the web at

Kids and Cliches

I teach fourth grade in Ventura County, California. As a fun assignment, I gave the students the beginning of a list of famous sayings and asked them to provide original endings for each one. Here are some examples of what my students submitted.

The grass is always greener when you leave the sprinkler on.

A rolling stone plays the guitar.

The grass is always greener when you remember to water it.

A bird in the hand is a real mess.

No news is no newspaper.

It's better to light one candle than to waste electricity.

It's always darkest just before I open my eyes.

You have nothing to fear but homework.

If you can't stand the heat, don't start the fireplace.

If you can't stand the heat, go swimming.

Never put off 'til tomorrow what you should have done yesterday.

A penny saved is nothing in the real world.

The squeaking wheel gets annoying.

We have nothing to fear but our principal.

To err is human. To eat a muskrat is not.

I think, therefore I get a headache.

Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry, and someone yells, "Shut up!"

Better to light a candle than to light an explosive.

It's always darkest before 9:30 p.m.

Early to bed and early to rise is first in the bathroom.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a blister.

There is nothing new under the bed.

The grass is always greener when you put manure on it.

Don't count your chickens -- it takes too long.

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.


No Gun Hunting

A guy shows up at a cabin where hunters have gathered to hunt bear. Only he shows up without a gun.

The other hunters are very curious. "How you gonna get a bear without a gun?" they ask. "Do you have a knife?"

"No," says the guy.

"Do you have a club?"

"No," says the guy. "Don't you worry. I'm gonna get myself a bear. Just wait right here and see."

The guy leaves the cabin and disappears into the hills for several hours.

Eventually he happens upon a bear asleep in his den and he kicks the bear and gets it really angry. As the bear wakes up, he starts to chase after the guy, so the guy starts running back towards the cabin.

Finally the hunters hear him running down the hill and yelling, "Open the cabin door! Open the door!"

They open the door and the guy runs into the cabin and holds the door open behind him. To the terror of the other hunters, an angry bear follows close behind, running into the cabin, too.

Then the guy slams the door shut, and says, "You skin that one. I'll go get another one."

Received from Pastor Tim.


Original Groaners: Constitutional Right

Didja hear about the hillbilly whose wife was a double amputee? He figgered the "reckoned ammendment" of the constitution gar'n'teed him the privilege to purchase new limbs for her. "Sez right cheer, ah have the right to buy 'er arms." (By Gary Hallock)

The hillbilly didn't exactly get it right. What he could do was have arms transplanted from a grizzly because ... he had the right to bear arms. (By Dilligas)

And she could show them to anyone she pleased because ... she had the right to bare arms. (By Dilligas)

Received from Stan Kegel.


More Customer Service Funnies

This is from my husband, Jack, who used to work in customer service.

Here are some things that really happened to me when I was in customer support: 1) I asked a lady to send me a copy of her disk. I received a fax with a photocopy of a diskette. When I called her and said, "No, I need an actual copy of the disk," she mailed me another photocopy. I then told her there was nothing I could do for her. She would have to buy a new copy of the software.

2) I was trying to help a guy who wasn't too computer savvy. I said to him, "OK, I need you to type in C, space, backslash." He said, "Where's the 'C'?"

3) Back in the day when everything was dial-up, a lady called me and said every time she tried to connect to the Internet, her phone would go dead. I said, "Do you have more than one phone line?" She said, "Nope, just the one."

4) A guy called me and said, "My software's not working." I said, "Did anything change?" He said no, so I ran down the standard list of things to check for, starting with "Is this the same computer you started with?" He said, "No, I bought a new one. Does that make a difference?" I told him, "Unless your new computer has a telepathic connection to the old one, you'll have to reinstall the software." He said, "How can I get a telepathic connection?" I told him it was brand new and not available to the general public yet, and he would have to wait a couple of years.

Received from Ruth Taylor.


One Sunday At Church

One Sunday, a pastor told his congregation that the church needed some extra money. He asked the people to consider donating a little more than usual into the offering plate. He said that whoever gave the most would be able to pick out three hymns. After the offering plates were passed, the pastor glanced down and noticed that someone had placed ten $100 bills in the offering.

He was so excited that he immediately shared his joy with his congregation and said he'd like to personally thank the person who placed the money in the plate. A very quiet, elderly, saintly-looking lady all the way in the back shyly raised her hand. The pastor asked her to come to the front.

Slowly she made her way to the pastor. He told her how wonderful it was that she gave so much and in thanks asked her to pick out three hymns.

Her eyes brightened as she looked over the congregation, pointed to the three most handsome men in the building and said, "I'll take him and him and him."

Received from Skipp LeMay.


Pajama-clad tot calling out to family: "I'm going upstairs to say my prayers now. Anyone want anything?"

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.


A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter. Then he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: "I have circled the block 10 times. If I don't park here, I'll miss my appointment. Forgive us our trespasses."

When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this note: "I've circled this block for 10 years. If I don't give you a ticket I'll lose my job. 'Lead us not into temptation.'"

Received from Larry.


After years of being blasted into a net, the human cannonball went to the circus owner and told him he was going to retire.

"But you can't!" shouted the cigar-chomping boss. "Where am I going to find a man of your caliber?"

Received from Stan Kegel.


Grocery Math

In a grocery store a cashier held up a small dairy carton and yelled to a co-worker, "How much is half-and-half?"

Without a moment's hesitation the other cashier replied, "One."

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.


Humor in Uniform

When my best friend, James, came home on his first Army leave, my little brother asked him what he did in the service. "I do calisthenics, shoot guns, and follow orders," James replied.

Walking in town that day, James and I ran into a buddy who also asked him what he did in the Army. James gave the same reply: "I do calisthenics, shoot guns, and follow orders."

A while later, we met a former classmate, an attractive woman, and she asked the same question. This time, James said, "I'm studying communications, learning foreign languages, and traveling around the world."

Contributed to Reader's Digest, "Humor in Uniform," by John D. Angleton

Received from America in Uniform.


There was a nice bathroom scale in our ship's cabin on our recent cruise. Since the sign in front of the fitness center claimed that the average cruiser gained 7 to 10 pounds during a cruise, I figured the scale was a way to help the cruiser avoid the weight gain.

I stepped on the scale.

It was 10 pounds too low.

I asked my wife to try it. She said that it was registering about 10 pounds too low.

The thing was broken.

The ship had excellent service and I was super impressed with the cabin steward. I didn't mention it to him, but he must have known that our scale was out of whack and not measuring correctly. When I stepped on the scale on the last day of the cruise my weight was reading perfectly.

Excellent cruise service!

Received from Judi.


As a flight engineer, I had been stationed in Panama for several months before the December 1989 invasion. Ever since I began my air force flying career, my mother has been concerned about my safety. So I expected a long letter from her expressing her anxiety.

But what she sent was a sheet of paper containing six words: "KICK THEIRS. PROTECT YOURS. LOVE, MOM."

Received from ArcaMax Jokes.


The Sixties, yes, the Sixties. Time of hope, time of rebellion, time for planning new ways to do things, ways that could not be any worse that what was being done at that time.

In contrast to most of the other movements of the time, one very active group combined militant vegetarianism (not so uncommon) with militant prohibitionism (very uncommon). They believed, in fact, that the first would automatically lead to perfect health. Eat only vegetables, love one another, and the desire and drive to consume Demon Rum would just pass away.

They believed that: "Peas would rule the planets, and love would clear the bars. It was the dawning of the age of asparagus."

Received from Stan Kegel.


One day at the veterinarian's office where I take my cat, a man and the receptionist were verbally sparring.

After a few moments a technician came to her co-worker's defense. "Sir," she interjected, "do you know what happens to aggressive males in this office?"

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.


An elderly couple was watching television one evening. The wife said, "I am going to get a dish of ice cream now." Kindly, the husband offered to get the ice cream for his wife. "I'll write it down so you don't forget," she said.

"I won't forget," the old gent said.

"But I want chocolate syrup and nuts on it, so I'll write it down," she replied.

"I will get you the ice cream. Don't you worry," replied the gentleman.

A few minutes later, the old man returned with bacon and eggs. His wife said, "See, I should have written it down because you forgot the toast."

Received from ArcaMax Jokes.


An elderly couple was watching television one evening. The wife said, "I am going to get a dish of ice cream now." Kindly, the husband offered to get the ice cream for his wife. "I'll write it down so you don't forget," she said.

"I won't forget," the old gent said.

"But I want chocolate syrup and nuts on it, so I'll write it down," she replied.

"I will get you the ice cream. Don't you worry," replied the gentleman.

A few minutes later, the old man returned with bacon and eggs. His wife said, "See, I should have written it down because you forgot the toast."

Received from ArcaMax Jokes.


A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later: "Da-ad..."


"I'm thirsty. Can you bring a drink of water?"

"No, you had your chance. Lights out."

Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad..."


"I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water?"

"I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!"

Five minutes later: "Daaaa-aaaad..."


"When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"

Received from Troy Schwartz.


What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?

A bad golfer goes, "Whack, oops!"

A bad skydiver goes, "Oops, whack!"

Received from ArcaMax Jokes.


A lion, a bear, and a pig meet in the woods.

The bear says, "When I blare, the forest trembles!"

The lion answers, "When I roar, the jungle shudders!"

The pig boasts, "When I cough, the whole planet is scared to death!"

Received from Kurt Arenhold.


I'm Smart

My dad gave me one dollar bill
'Cause I'm his smartest son,
And I swapped it for two shiny quarters
'Cause two is more than one!

And then I took the quarters
And traded them to Lou
For three dimes--I guess he didn't know
That three is more than two!

Just then, along came old blind Bates
And just 'cause he can't see
He gave me four nickels for my three dimes,
And four is more than three!

And I took the nickels to Hiram Coombs
Down at the seed-feed store,
And the fool gave me five pennies for them,
And five is more than four!

And I went and showed my dad,
And he got red in the cheeks
And closed his eyes and shook his head--
Too proud of me to speak!

Received from Timothy Anger.


Few people realize that George Washington was originally from Texas -- West Texas, to be exact. The family had a lone mesquite tree in their yard. One day George cut it down. When his father came home, he saw the tree was cut down and asked George if he had cut down the lone mesquite tree. George said, "Father, I cannot tell a lie. I cut down the mesquite tree."

Whereupon, his father called out to Mrs. Washington, "Get packed, dear. We are moving to Virginia. George is never going to make it in Texas if he can't tell a lie."

Received from Jack Eccles.


The newlywed wife said to her husband when he returned from work, "I have great news for you. Pretty soon we're going to be three in this house instead of two."

The husband started glowing with happiness. Kissing his wife, he said, "Oh, darling, I'm the happiest man in the world."

But then she said, "I'm glad that you feel this way because tomorrow morning my mother is moving in with us."

Received from Keith Sullivan.


Down South Bumper Stickers

- I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

- Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

- BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.

- I got a gun for my wife, best trade I ever made.

- So you're a feminist...Isn't that cute!

- I'm just driving this way to tork you off.

- Keep honking, I'm reloading.

Received from ArcaMax Jokes.


A fisherman from the city was out fishing on a lake in a small boat. He noticed another man in a small boat open his tackle box and take out a mirror. Being curious the man rowed over and asked, "What is the mirror for?"

"That's my secret way to catch fish," said the other man. "Shine the mirror on the top of the water. The fish notice the spot of sun on the water above and they swim to the surface. Then I just reach down and net them and pull them into the boat."

"Wow! Does that really work?"

"You bet it does."

"Would you be interested in selling that mirror? I'll give you $30 for it."

"Well, okay."

After the money was transferred, the city fisherman asked, "By the way, how many fish have you caught this week?"

"You're the sixth," he said.

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.


Three friends from the local congregation were asked, "When you're in your casket and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what would you like them to say?"

Artie said, "I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man."

Gene replied, "I would like them to say I was a wonderful teacher and servant of God who made a huge difference in people's lives."

Don answered, "I'd like them to say, 'Look! He's moving!'"

Received from Pam Block.


Do I look that shady? I just got a GPS for my car, and my first trip with it was to a drugstore. Since the manual said not to leave it in the car unattended, I brought it with me into the store. While there, the GPS came alive, and a voice stated, "Lost satellite contact."

I wasn't embarrassed until a woman turned to me and said, "Your ankle bracelet monitor is talking to you."

Received from Doc's Daily Chuckle.


Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer, and an old drunk were walking along when they simultaneously spotted a hundred-dollar bill lying in the street. Who gets it?

The old drunk, of course. The other three are mythological creatures.

Received from ArcaMax Jokes.


The wolf man comes home one day from a long day at the office. "How was work, dear?" his wife asks.

"Listen! I don't want to talk about work!" he shouts.

"Okay. Would you like to sit down and eat a nice home-cooked meal?" she asks nicely.

"Listen!" he shouts again. "I'm not hungry! I don't wanna eat, all right? Is that all right with you? Can I come home from work and just do my own thing without you forcing food down my throat, huh?"

At this moment, the wolf man starts growling and throwing things around the apartment in a mad rage.

Looking out the window, his wife sees a full moon and says to herself, "Well, I guess it's that time of the month."

Received from Stan Kegel.


How to Handle Telemarketers

(1) Three Little Words That Work! The three little words are: "Hold On, Please..."

Saying this while putting down your phone and walking off (instead of hanging up immediately) would make each telemarketing call so much more time-consuming that boiler room sales would grind to a halt.

Then when you eventually hear the phone company's "beep-beep-beep" tone, you know it's time to go back and hang up your handset, which has efficiently completed its task.

These three little words will help eliminate telephone soliciting.

(2) Do you ever get those annoying phone calls with no one on the other end?

This is a telemarketing technique where a machine makes phone calls and records the time of day when a person answers the phone.

This technique is used to determine the best time of day for a "real" sales person to call back and get someone at home.

What you can do after answering, if you notice there is no one there, is to immediately start hitting your # button on the phone, 6 or 7 times, as quickly as possible This confuses the machine that dialed the call and it kicks your number out of their system. Gosh, what a shame not to have your name in their system any longer!!!

(3) Junk Mail Help:

When you get "ads" enclosed with your phone or utility bill, return these "ads" with your payment. Let the sending companies throw their own junk mail away.

When you get those "pre-approved" letters in the mail for everything from credit cards to second mortgages and similar type junk, do not throw away the return envelope.

Most of these come with postage-paid return envelopes, right? It costs them more than the regular 44 cents postage "IF" and when they receive them back.

It costs them nothing if you throw them away! The postage was around 50 cents before the last increase and it is according to the weight. In that case, why not get rid of some of your other junk mail and put it in these cool little postage-paid return envelopes.

One of Andy Rooney's (60 minutes) ideas.

Send an ad for your local chimney cleaner to American Express. Send a pizza coupon to Citibank. If you didn't get anything else that day, then just send them their blank application back!

If you want to remain anonymous, just make sure your name isn't on anything you send them.

You can even send the envelope back empty if you want to just to keep them guessing! It still costs them 44 cents.

The banks and credit card companies are currently getting a lot of their own junk back in the mail, but folks, we need to OVERWHELM them. Let's let them know what it's like to get lots of junk mail, and best of all they're paying for it twice!

Let's help keep our postal service busy since they are saying that e-mail is cutting into their business profits, and that's why they need to increase postage costs again. You get the idea!

If enough people follow these tips, it will work. I have been doing this for years, and I get very little junk mail anymore.

Received from Larry.


Violin Lessons

"Haven't I seen your face before?" a judge demanded, looking down at the defendant.

"You have, Your Honor," the man answered hopefully. "I gave your son violin lessons last winter."

"Ah, yes," recalled the judge. "Twenty years!"

Received from ArcaMax Jokes.


Cat Definitions

Aquarium: interactive television for cats.

Cat: 1. a lapwarmer with a built-in buzzer. 2. a four-footed allergen. 3. a small, four-legged, fur-bearing extortionist. 4. a small, furry lap fungus. 5. a treat-seeking missile. 6. a wildlife control expert. 7. one who sleeps in old, empty pizza boxes. 8. a hair relocation expert. 9. an unprogrammable animal.

Cataclysm: any great upheaval in a cat's life.

Catatonic: a feline medicinal drink.

Caterpillar: a soft scratching post for a cat.

Cat Scan: to look for a new cat.

Dog: a cat's device for running practice.

Door: something a cat always wants to be on the other side of.

Energy: the element of vitality cats always have an oversupply of until you try to play with them.

Human: an automatic door opener for cats.

Impurrsonate: to act like the cat.

Kitten: a small homicidal muffin on legs; affects human sensibilities to the point of endowing the most wanton and ruthless acts of destruction with near-mythical overtones of cuteness. Not recommended for beginners. Get at least two.

Purrade: an organized march of cats.

Purradise: the garden of cats.

Purramour: a cat lover.

Purranoia: the fear that your cat is up to something.

Purraphernalia: a cat's personal belongings.

Purrch: any favored feline napping spot.

Purrchase: anything bought for a cat.

Purrfume: the scent of an open can of tuna.

Purrgatory: a houseful of kittens.

Purrmission: a feline hunting expedition.

Purrpetual: everlasting feline love.

Purrplex: a house with two or more cats.

Purrson: a male kitten.

Purrsuit: the garment your shedding cat rubs against just as you are leaving home to go to an important meeting.

Purrverse: a poem about a wicked kitty.

Tooraloorailurophobia: an irrational fear of Irish cats.

Tuner: sonar-like device in cat food that causes cats to appear.

Yawn: a cat's honest opinion openly expressed.

Received from Stan Kegel.


Remember 'manure' was originally a French word. - Heard on the Radio

Bradley's Bromide: If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.

If you don't have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over? - Old Photocopy Wisdom

Lewis's Law of Travel: The first piece of luggage out of the chute doesn't belong to anyone, ever.

How often could things be remedied by a word. How often is it left unspoken. - Norman Douglas (1868-1952), novelist and essayist, Bits and Pieces, February 2004

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.

We should be thankful for the good things we have and also for the bad things we don't have.


Any argument that a man and a woman are involved in, the woman gets the last word.

Anything a man says afterwords is the beginning of a new argument.

Received from ArcaMax Jokes.


My wife asked me this morning, "Whacha doin' today?"

I said, "Nothing."

She said, "That's what you did yesterday."

I said, "I wasn't finished."

Received from Doc's Daily Chuckle.


I know my company has made a big effort to be family friendly, but I was baffled when I read this holiday announcement posted on the bulletin board:

"All employees are invited to the annual Christmas party. All children under the age of ten will receive a gift from Santa. Employees who have no children may bring grandchildren."

contributed to Reader's Digest, "All in a Day's Work"

Received from DailyInbox Presents.


A buddy and I were golfing one afternoon and getting somewhat bored with the round, so when we came upon the water hazard with two ducks sitting quietly on the water, I bet him ten bucks he couldn't hit a duck and five dollars he couldn't even get one to move. Being a guy, he took the bet.

He launched four tee shots toward the ducks and even threw two by hand, but the ducks still wouldn't budge. Only after he lost six golf balls did he realize the ducks were decoys.

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.


What Is "Pi"?

Mathematician: Pi is the ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter.

Engineer: Pi is about 22/7.

Physicist: Pi is 3.14159 plus or minus 0.000005.

Computer Programmer: Pi is 3.141592653589 in double precision.

Geek: Pi is approximately 3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716939937510582 (and it has to be recited from memory)

Nutritionist: You one-track math-minded fellows, pie is a healthy and delicious dessert!

Received from ArcaMax Jokes.


A man is stopped in heavy traffic in Los Angeles and thinks, "Wow, this traffic seems worse than usual. We're not even moving."
Noticing a police officer walking down the highway between the cars, the man rolls down his window and says, "Excuse me, officer ... what's the holdup?"
"It's [fill in person you don't like]," says the cop. "He's all depressed. He's lying down in the middle of the highway and threatening to douse himself in gasoline and light himself on fire because he is flat broke. I'm walking around taking up a collection for him."
The man says, "A collection, huh? How much have you got so far?"
"So far ... ten gallons."

Received from BROOKSBY1.


Five-year-old Becky answered the door when the census taker came by. She told the census taker that her daddy was a doctor and wasn't home, because he was performing an appendectomy.
"My," said the census taker, "that sure is a big word for such a little girl. Do you know what it means?"
"Sure! Fifteen hundred bucks, and that doesn't even include the anesthesiologist!"

Received from Doc's Daily Chuckle.


Rate this funny at
Brought to you by The Good, Clean Funnies List A cheerful heart is good medicine... (Prov 17:22a) Mail address: GCFL, Box 100, Harvest, AL 35749, USA
To print or email this funny to others, go to
The latest GCFL funny can always be found on the web at
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Column - -

Ode To Breakfast (and a Caffeinated Haiku)
March 25th, 2011 Did you know that today, March 25th, is International Waffle Day? Me neither. And if you feel compelled to celebrate waffles twice each year, National Waffle Day and the waffle iron patent are celebrated on August 24th.

So why am I telling you this? Because I’m obediently rising to the challenge of writing a poem about breakfast. And I stumbled upon all this waffle nonsense while doing some poetic procrastination.


Ode to Breakfast
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Oatmeal breaks my fast
when I arise,
though it tastes like paste
in breakfast guise.

Why not something else
I don’t despise?
Cuz I hate each choice
those chefs devise.

Waffles, eggs, French toast
grits — some may prize.
But hot oatmeal’s quick.
So enough with the “whys.”


While I’m at it, here’s a haiku about my favorite morning (and afternoon and pretty much all day) beverage:

Coffee never tempts,
but denied cappuccino
then call

© Madeleine Begun Kane. All Rights Reserved.
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
NEVER FORGET! We're listing the names of our soldiers (52) killed since our last Bleat was published (January 21). These records can be found at

01. Tech. Sgt. Leslie D. Williams, 36, of Juneau, Alaska, died Jan. 25 due to a non-combat related incident at Bagram Airfield, Afghanistan. He was assigned to the 4th Maintenance Group, Seymour Johnson Air Force Base, N.C.

02. Sgt. 1st Class Anthony Venetz Jr., 30, of Prince William, Va., died Jan. 28 in Parwan province, Afghanistan, of injuries sustained in a non-combat incident. He was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 7th Special Forces Group (Airborne), Fort Bragg, N.C.

The Department of Defense announced today the deaths of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Enduring Freedom. They died Jan. 29 in Helmand province, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when enemy forces attacked their unit with an improvised explosive device. They were assigned to the 264th Combat Sustainment Support Battalion, 82nd Sustainment Brigade, Fort Bragg, N.C. Killed were:
03. Spc. Joshua R. Campbell, 22, of Bennett, Colo.; and
04. Spc. Shawn A. Muhr, 26, of Coon Rapids, Iowa.

05. Spc. Omar Soltero, 28, of San Antonio, Texas, died Jan. 31 in Wardak province, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked his unit using an improvised explosive device. He was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 4th Infantry Regiment, 4th Brigade Combat Team, 10th Mountain Division, Fort Polk, La.

06. Spec. Ryan A. Gartner, 23, of Dumont, N.J., died Feb. 1 in Bagram, Afghanistan, of wounds sustained in a non-combat incident. He was assigned to the 201st Military Intelligence Battalion, Ft. Sam Houston, Joint Base San Antonio, Texas.

07. Cpl. Lucas T. Pyeatt, 24, of West Chester, Ohio, died Feb. 5 while conducting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to the 2nd Radio Battalion, II Marine Expeditionary Force Headquarters Group, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

08. Lance Cpl. Aaron M. Swanson, 21, of Jamestown, N.Y., died Feb. 7 while conducting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to the 3rd Battalion, 25th Marine Regiment, 4th Marine Division, Marine Forces Reserve, Buffalo, N.Y.

09. Sgt. Patrick R. Carroll, 25, of Norwalk, Ohio, died Feb. 7 in Kandahar province, Afghanistan, of wounds sustained when insurgents attacked his unit with an improvised explosive device. He was assigned to the 319th Military Intelligence Battalion, 525th Battlefield Surveillance Brigade, XVIII Airborne Corps, Fort Bragg, N.C.

10. Spc. Nathan B. Carse, 32, of Harrod, Ohio, died Feb. 8 in Kandahar province, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked his unit using an improvised explosive device. He was assigned to the 2nd Engineer Battalion, 176th Engineer Brigade, White Sands Missile Range, N.M.

11. Sgt. Lashawn D. Evans, 24, of Columbia, S.C., died Feb. 15 in Baghdad province, Iraq, in a non-combat related incident. He was assigned to the 1st Attack Reconnaissance Battalion, 1st Aviation Regiment, Combat Aviation Brigade, 1st Infantry Division,Fort Riley, Kan.

12. Airman 1st Class Corey C. Owens, 26, of San Antonio, Texas, died Feb. 17 due to a non-combat related incident at Al Asad Air Base, Iraq. He was assigned to the 47th Security Forces Squadron, Laughlin Air Force Base, Texas.

13. Spc. Jonathan A. Pilgeram, 22, of Great Falls, Mont., died Feb. 17 in Konar province, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked his unit using small arms fire. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 327th Infantry Regiment, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), Fort Campbell, Ky.

14. Airman 1st Class Christoffer P. Johnson, 20, of Clarksville, Tenn., died Feb. 17 due to a non-combat related incident in Southwest Asia. He was assigned to the 423rd Security Forces Squadron, Royal Air Force Alconbury, England.

15. Sgt. Matthew J. Deyoung, 26, of Talent, Ore., died Feb. 18 while supporting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to the 2nd Reconnaissance Battalion, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

16. Staff Sgt. Bradley C. Hart, 25, of Perrysburg, Ohio died February 17 at Camp Lemonnier, Djibouti, Africa, of injuries sustained in a non combat incident. He was assigned to the U.S. Army Special Operations Command, Fort Bragg, N.C.

17. Lance Cpl. Andrew P. Carpenter, 27, of Columbia, Tenn., died Feb. 19 of wounds received Feb. 14 while conducting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to the 3rd Battalion, 8th Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

18. 1st Lt. Daren M. Hidalgo, 24, of Waukesha, Wis., died Feb. 20 in Kandahar province, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked his unit using an improvised explosive device. He was assigned to 3rd Squadron, 2nd Stryker Cavalry Regiment, Vilseck, Germany.

19. Sgt. Robert C. Sisson Jr., 29, of Aliquippa, Pa., died Feb. 21 in Kandahar district, Afghanistan, in a non-combat related incident. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 22nd Infantry Regiment, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 4th Infantry Division, Fort Carson, Colo.

20. Cpl. Johnathan W. Taylor, 23, of Homosassa, Fla., died Feb. 22 while conducting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 8th Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

21. Staff Sgt. Jerome Firtamag, 29, of Pohnpei, Federated States of Micronesia, was medically evacuated from Kandahar, Afghanistan, to the United States on Dec. 1, 2010, for treatment of a non-combat related illness. He died Feb. 24 in Pembroke, Ky. Firtamag was assigned to the 96th Combat Support Battalion, 101st Combat Aviation Brigade, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), Fort Campbell, Ky.

22. Cpl. Andrew C. Wilfahrt, 31, of Rosemount, Minn., died Feb. 27, in Kandahar province, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked his unit using an improvised explosive device. He was assigned to the 504th Military Police Battalion, 8th Military Police Brigade, 8th Theater Sustainment Command, Schofield Barracks, Hawaii.

23. Spc. Brian Tabada, 21, of Las Vegas, Nev., died Feb. 27, in Konar province, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked his unit using small arms fire and a rocket propelled grenade. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 327th Infantry Regiment, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), Fort Campbell, Ky.

24. Sgt. Kristopher J. Gould, 25, of Saginaw, Mich., died Feb. 27, in Ghazni province, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked his unit using an improvised explosive device. He was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 2nd Infantry Regiment, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 1st Infantry Division, Fort Knox, Ky.

25. Spc. David R. Fahey Jr., 23, of Norwalk, Conn., died Feb. 28 in Kandahar province, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked his unit using an improvised explosive device. He was assigned to the 504th Military Police Battalion, 42nd Military Police Brigade, Joint Base Lewis-McChord, Wash.

26. Spc. Rudolph R. Hizon 22, of Los Angeles, Calif., died Feb. 28, in Logar province, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked his unit using an improvised explosive device. He was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 30th Infantry Regiment, 4th Brigade Combat Team, 10th Mountain Division, Fort Polk, La.

The Department of Defense announced today the deaths of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Enduring Freedom. They died Feb. 28, in Wardak province, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when enemy forces attacked their unit with an improvised explosive device. Killed were:
27. Staff Sgt. Chauncy R. Mays, 25, of Cookville, Texas.
28. Spc. Christopher G. Stark, 22, of Monett, Mo.
They were assigned to the 63rd Explosive Ordnance Disposal Battalion, 20th Support Command, Aberdeen Proving Ground, Md.

29. Senior Airman Nicholas J. Alden, 25, of Williamston, S.C., died as a result of the March 2 shooting at Frankfurt Airport, Germany. He was assigned to the 48th Security Forces Squadron, RAF Lakenheath, United Kingdom.

30. Spc. Jason M. Weaver, 22, of Anaheim, Calif., died March 3 in Kandahar province, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked his unit using an improvised explosive device. He was assigned to the 504th Military Police Battalion, 42nd Military Police Brigade, Joint Base Lewis-McChord, Wash.

31. Cpl. Jordan R. Stanton, 20, of Rancho Santa Margarita, Calif., died March 4 while conducting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to the 2nd Reconnaissance Battalion, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

32. Staff Sgt. Mark C. Wells, 31, of San Jose, Calif., died March 5 in Helmand province, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked his unit with an improvised explosive device. He was assigned to the 45th Sustainment Brigade, 8th Theater Sustainment Command, Schofield Barracks, Hawaii.

33. Pfc. Kalin C. Johnson, 19, of Lexington, S.C., died March 8 in Kandahar province, Afghanistan, of injuries sustained in a non-combat incident. He was assigned to the 3rd Squadron, 2nd Stryker Cavalry Regiment, Vilseck, Germany.

34. Spc. Andrew P. Wade, 22, of Antioch, Ill., died March 9 in Kunduz province, Afghanistan, as a result of a non-combat related incident. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 87th Infantry Regiment, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 10th Mountain Division, Fort Drum, N.Y.

35. Cpl. Loren M. Buffalo, 20, of Mountain Pine, Ark., died March 9 in Kandahar province of wounds suffered when enemy forces attacked his unit with an improvised explosive device. He was assigned to the 1st Squadron, 75th Cavalry Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), Fort Campbell, Ky.

36. Staff Sgt. Eric S. Trueblood, 27, of Alameda, Calif., died March 10 in Kandahar province, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when enemy forces attacked his unit with an improvised explosive device. He was assigned to the 391st Combat Sustainment Support Battalion, 16th Sustainment Brigade, Spinelli Barracks, Mannheim, Germany.

37. Pfc. Andrew M. Harper, 19, of Maidsville, W. Va., died March 11, in Kandahar province, Afghanistan, of injuries sustained in a non-combat incident. He was assigned to the 3rd Squadron, 2nd Stryker Cavalry Regiment, Vilseck, Germany.

38. Sgt. 1st Class Dae Han Park, 36, of Watertown, Conn. died March 12, in Wardak province, Afghanistan, of injuries sustained when enemy forces attacked his unit with an improvised explosive device. He was assigned to the 3rdBattalion, 1st Special Forces Group, Joint Base Lewis-McChord, Wash.

39. Cpl. Ian M. Muller, 22, of Danville, Vt., died March 11 while conducting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 8th Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

40. Pfc. Arturo E. Rodriguez, 19, of Bellflower, Calif., died March, 12 in Paktika province, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked his unit using small arms fire. He was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 506th Infantry Regiment, 4th Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), Fort Campbell, Ky.

41. Staff Sgt. Travis M. Tompkins, 31, of Lawton, Okla., died March 16 in Logar province, Afghanistan, of injuries sustained on March 15, when enemy forces attacked his unit with a rocket propelled grenade. He was assigned to the Brigade Special Troops Battalion, 4th Brigade Combat Team, 10th Mountain Division, Fort Polk, La.

42. Senior Airman Michael J. Hinkle II, 24, of Corona, Calif., died March 16 due to a non-combat related incident in Southwest Asia. He was assigned to the 28th Communications Squadron, Ellsworth Air Force Base, S.D.

43. Lance Cpl. Christopher S. Meis, 20, of Bennett, Colo., died March 17 while conducting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 8th Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

The Department of Defense announced today the deaths of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Enduring Freedom. They died March 19 in Kandahar province, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when they were allegedly shot with small arms fire by an individual from a military security group. The incident is under investigation. They were assigned to the 4th Squadron, 2nd Stryker Cavalry Regiment, Vilseck, Germany. Killed were:
44. Cpl. Donald R. Mickler Jr., 29, of Bucyrus, Ohio; and
45. Pfc. Rudy A. Acosta, 19, of Canyon Country, Calif.

46. Staff Sgt. Mecolus C. McDaniel, 33, of Fort Hood, Texas, died March 19 in Khowst province, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked his unit with an improvised explosive device and small arms fire. He was assigned to the 6th Squadron, 4th Cavalry Regiment, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 1st Infantry Division, Fort Knox, Ky.

47. Staff Sgt. James M. Malachowski, 25, of Westminster, Md., died March 20 while conducting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 8th Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

48. Master Sgt. Jamal H. Bowers, 41, of Raleigh, N.C., died March 18 at Camp Lemonier, Djibouti, as a result of a non-combat related incident. He was assigned to the 6th Battalion, 4th Military Information Support Group, U.S. Army Special Operations Command, Fort Bragg, N.C.

49. Cpl. Brandon S. Hocking, 24, of Seattle, Wash., died March 21 in As Samawah, Iraq, when enemy forces attacked his unit with an improvised explosive device. He was assigned to the 87th Combat Sustainment Support Battalion, 3rd Sustainment Brigade, 3rd Infantry Division, Fort Stewart, Ga.

50. Petty Officer 1st Class Vincent A. Filpi III, 41, of Fort Walton Beach, Fla., died March 22 as a result of a non-combat related incident. Filpi was assigned to USS Enterprise as an aviation ordnanceman. Enterprise is currently deployed to the Fifth Fleet area of responsibility conducting operations in support of Operation Enduring Freedom.

The Department of Defense announced today the deaths of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Enduring Freedom. They died March 22, in Logar province, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when enemy forces attacked their unit with an improvised explosive device, rocket propelled grenades and small arms fire. Killed were:
51. Staff Sgt. Joshua S. Gire, 28, of Chillicothe, Ohio.
52. Pfc. Michael C. Mahr, 26, of Homosassa, Fla.
They were assigned to the 54th Engineer Battalion, 18th Engineer Brigade, Bamberg, Germany.
Airmen Missing in Action From WWII Identified

The Department of Defense POW/Missing Personnel Office (DPMO) announced today that the remains of 11 U.S. servicemen, missing in action from World War II, have been identified and are being returned to their families for burial with full military honors.

Army Air Forces Technical Sgt. Charles A. Bode, 23, Baltimore, will be buried on Feb. 11 in Arlington National Cemetery. On Nov. 20, 1943, Bode, along with 10 other B-24D Liberator crew members, took off from Jackson Airfield, Port Moresby, New Guinea, on an overwater mission near the northern coast of the country. During the mission, the only radio transmission from the crew indicated they were 20 miles northwest of Port Moresby, but they did not return to Jackson Airfield. Subsequent searches failed to uncover any evidence of either the crew or the aircraft.

Following the war, the Army Graves Registration Service conducted investigations and searches for 43 missing airmen including Bode and the other 10 airmen, but concluded in June 1949 that all were unrecoverable.

In 1984, the government of Papua New Guinea notified U.S. officials of a World War II crash site in a ravine in Morobe Province. A U.S. search and recovery team investigated the crash site in late 1984 and located B-24 aircraft wreckage. They also recovered human remains but were unable to complete the mission due to time constraints and the threat of landslides. From that time until 2004, multiple teams from the Joint POW/MIA Accounting Command (JPAC) attempted to access and excavate the location but the threat of landslides made recovery too dangerous to continue. During a site visit in 2004, local villagers turned over human remains they had previously removed from the area.

In addition to Bode’s individual burial, the crew of 11 men, 1st Lt. Richard T. Heuss, 23, Berkley, Mich.; 2nd Lt. Robert A. Miller, 22, Memphis, Tenn.; 2nd Lt. Edward R. French, 23, Erie, Pa.; 2nd Lt. Robert R. Streckenbach, Jr., 21, Green Bay, Wis.; Tech. Sgt. Charles A. Bode; Tech. Sgt. Lucian I. Oliver, Jr., 23 Memphis, Tenn.; Staff Sgt. Ivan O. Kirkpatrick, 36, Whittier, Calif.; Staff Sgt. William K. Musgrave, 24, Hutsonville, Ill.; Staff Sgt. James T. Moran, 21, Sloatsburg, N.Y.; Staff Sgt. James B. Moore, 21, Woburn, Mass.; and Staff Sgt. Roy Surabian, 24, Medford, Mass., will be buried as a group on March 24 at Arlington National Cemetery.

Among other forensic identification tools and circumstantial evidence, scientists from JPAC and the Armed Forces DNA Identification Laboratory used mitochondrial DNA in the identification of Bode’s remains.

At the end of World War II, the U.S. government was unable to recover and identify approximately 79,000 Americans. Today, more than 74,000 are unaccounted-for from the conflict.

For additional information on the Defense Department’s mission to account for missing Americans, visit the DPMO web site at or call 703-699-1169.
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Central Asia Institute. Donate to support education and empower people to resist terrorist growth. []
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Weekly Toll _ _
Death In The Workplace w/News & Updates
John Donne _ ...any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
The Pump Handle. A water cooler for the public health crowd.
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Movie Reviews - - []
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." __ Franklin D. Roosevelt
"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. _ _ George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" _ _ Queen E. Watson
“A political class of Republicans and Democrats that look after themselves, not the Nation. A media hostile to the very precepts of this nation. A generation of Americans who see morals as vices, and are ignorant of America's Actual History.”
"The things that will destroy America are prosperity-at-any-price, peace-at-any-price, safety-first instead of duty-first, the love of soft living, and the get-rich-quick theory of life." - - Theodore Roosevelt
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Scheduled Activities
Men's Prayer Breakfast held every Tuesday morning at 6 AM in Miller's Cafeteria. If you aren't a regular participant at the Men's Prayer Breakfast, you're missing some great food, fellowship and inspired teaching of the Word. Hope to see you there.
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Emergency Phone Number 911
(Fire, Police, Ambulance, Sheriff, etc. )
Central Dispatch 234_5655
(Non _ Emergency Number)
Direct Numbers
Ambulance _ 234_7371 (24 Hour)
Jail _ 234_5331 (24 Hour)
Poison Control _ 800_222_1222 (24 Hour)
http://www. aapcc. org/
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Interested in getting in touch with the Banner_News through e_mail?
E_mail addresses for communicating with the newspaper’s various departments are: For the editor, For news and sports items, Coming Events, Diary, Church News, school and civic events.
advertising@bannernews. net For retail and classified advertising.
circulation@bannernews. net To start, stop or cancel newspaper delivery or for comments about delivery.
outfitters For Office Outfitters, the office supply division of the Banner_News.
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." __ "Bug"
"I read the end of the book. We win!" __ "Bug"
"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." __ "Bug"
"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." _ _ "Bug"
"It's no big deal doing what God tells you to do. A big deal would be NOT doing what God tells you to do. Just ask Jonah." _ _ Paul Troquille
“Nam et ipsa scientia potestas est.” Knowledge is power. _ Francis Bacon
"The problem is here and now. The time for talk is past. The time for action is now."
Comments on the first Earth Day _ James F. McClellan via John "Fuzzy" Thurman
Hope you enjoy the newsletter.
Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" __"Bug"
God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
Ecc 8:14 3 Jn 1:13-14 Psa 27:4-5 Psa 27:8-10 Mic 2:11 Luke 22:35-36 Exo 6:28-30 Pro 10:32 Neh 4:1-3 Psalm 41:6-9 Psalm 36:5-7 Psalm 23:4 John 7:37-39 Acts 8:27-31 1 Jn 2:15-17 1 Jn 2:9-11
God is Good and Faithful CU 73 IC JFM CSP NREMT_I KC5HII

P. S. If you'd like to be added to the distribution, just drop us E_mail at
. We offer "Da Bleat" as text, a "Blog" and as a newsletter with pictures in Word and PDF format. The latest issue is usually updated sometime Saturday. For the "Blog" version just go to one of the several addresses on the web. For the latest issue, go to Older issues can be found at, where _ is the quarter (1, 2, 3, or 4) and __ is the year (05, 06, 07, 08 or 09). We also have a site [] where we post photos that I like.
Let us hear from you if we can switch you over to the "Word" or "PDF" version of "Da Bleat".
If you'd prefer to read "Da Blog" version, just drop us a note at and we'll switch you from e:mail delivery to "Da Bleat" Blog. We appreciate your encouragement. We also appreciate your communication when you desire to be taken off our mail list. If you are on this mail list by mistake or do not wish to receive "Da Bleat," please reply back and tell us to discontinue service to you. This email was scanned by Norton AntiVirus 2011 before it was sent.
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>

No comments:

Post a Comment