Friday, December 31, 2010

Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Spy Novel - - Photos

Annette's Porch Decorations

Ethan took this photo of Josiah

David decorated his jeep for Christmas

This week we finally started laying roadbed on our layout.
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Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Spy Novel

Annette Takes Advantage Of A Sunny Day To Paint Our Train Table.

L&NW's "Display" Caboose.

Dusty Checks Track Alignment.

Dusty starts "Dry Laying" our track.
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Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Spy Novel

Dusty demonstrates "Instant Napping"

Bobby reacts to her Christmas Present.

Zac Admires his Dad's Present.

Annette looking over another shipment of train equipment from EBay.
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Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Spy Novel

Volume 12, Issue 52 Friday, December 31, 2010

Hello All,

Sorry for not releasing a “Bleat” since the November 12 issue. You’d think with six Saturdays and one Sunday a week we’d have time to publish more often. On the other hand, think about how busy your Saturdays are and you’ll understand how every weekday is for us.
Merry Christmas to all and to all a GREAT 2011!
David and I started running trains when he was small. Eventually, we built a custom HO layout and ran "Cotton Belt" rolling stock on it. We still have his "Silver Streak" and my "Cotton Belt" engines and cars. But, back then, I wanted to concentrate more on operating multiple trains, switching, picking up and delivering cars, etc. So about 20 years ago, we built an N Scale layout (Atlas #N53.)
In the early '90s, when we moved into this smaller house, I boxed everything up and it's been in the storage shed till now.
A couple of weeks ago, David and Annette searched through all the boxes in our storeroom and found about 85% of the original equipment. Zac helped me build a 3'x5' table so we can start construction of a layout based on Atlas's #N9. Just before Christmas, Dusty came over and we got the complete track plan, “dry laid.” With this layout, we'll be able to run a "through" train while simultaneously running a local switcher and a passenger train. It will be a "Ton Of Fun."
At this time we’ve gathered all the equipment, roadbed and track we should need. For some reason, Annette thinks I'm getting a little carried away buying N Scale Railroad equipment on EBay. She bases this opinion on the fact that we’re receiving 4 to 6 boxes of “stuff” (cars, track, couplers, etc.) every day. Shoot, I bought four of these items for her; two buildings, some trees and some grass so she can help with the scenery.
After seeing all the YouTube Christmas Videos folks sent us, Annette and I decided to create a YouTube sensation for next season ... CPAP Christmas Carols. We could record all the different sounds associated with folks wearing CPAPs as well as record the sounds coming from folks who should be wearing a CPAP and uses the sounds to create Christmas Carols. Jingle Bells could sound like ... Wheeze Wheeze Wheeze .. Wheeze Wheeze Wheeze .. Whosh Buzz Click Whosh. Well you get the idea.
A friend related a “horror story” of flying from Atlanta to Little Rock, seated next to a 350 lb woman. Problem was, there was no room for him to sit. The woman had pulled up the arm rest so she could get in and there was only about 6" left between the lady and the aisle for him to sit. He showed the stewardess who told him that there were no empty seats. He ended up riding in the spare steward’s jump seat.
This gave us the idea of starting a new business for “corpulent” folks. We’re gonna call it Air Line "Seat Buddies". We’ll hire skinny young (or old) folks to fly with you in the adjoining seat. That way, you can lift up the middle arm rest and let your body find its natural size without worrying about inconveniencing your seat mate. Your “Seat Buddy” will be paid to be crunched up against the aisle side arm rest.
Thanks to Law's plumbing (hardware), Mike White (Plumber) and Daniel Fields (Electrician), Annette and I now have small, 0.5 gpm "instant" water heaters on our bathroom sinks.
Both of us have some Arthritis issues and warm water really makes our knuckles and other hand joints feel better. Now we don't have to wait for hot water to come from the central house water heater to the bathroom. We can have hot water out of the bathroom faucet in seconds .
And, there are two other positives in installing these energy saving water heaters. 1) a tax credit along with lower water bills to help defray the cost of installation. 2) We no longer waste water running it to get hot water from the central heater. :0)
Speaking of the environment, most of us believe that the earth is heating up. We just disagree on the cause. Yes, I think that human activities have contributed to the problem, but I don't believe that they are the root cause. It appears that this is a "normal" cycle we're going through, perhaps exacerbated by our activities.
In any case, the cries for "Green" living are, in my opinion, misplaced. Though I believe that we should all strive to live "Green", it's good economic and environmental sense, our marginal “green” activities won't appreciably affect the global warming problem. No matter how many folks we send back to a primitive existence.
That’s because the root cause of our contribution to this problem is ... Population. There are too many folks on the planet. And there is no way we're going to change that number appreciably in the near future.
So, what do we do? Well, instead of wasting time and energy trying to reverse global warming, we should shunt our resources to ways to survive global warming.
It's happening and probably going to get worse so we should be planning to live through it, even prosper through it.
But we can't do that if we keep concentrating our resources in a vain effort to prevent it.
And, when we talk about living and prospering, we need to discuss our infrastructure. Dick Baker posted ... That was odd. Our power just came back on after being off for over six hours. It was off when we woke up this morning.
Allison Rushton Griffin Ours was out too! When I called to report it@ 5 this morning they said it was due to equipment failure
Dick Baker When Martha called at 8, they said it was caused by a vehicle accident.
Do we have a continuously deteriorating infrastructure to look forward too? Ever since the utility companies "right sized" this has become a more and more frequent occurrence.
Patriotism is easy to understand in America. It means looking out for yourself by looking out for your country." Calvin Coolidge, May 30, 1923 Memorial Day Speech, Northampton, MA.
Autumn Burton posted a discussion about “following God’s will” on her face book page.
What a great post. She and Stephen are fine young Christians. Bottom line, we need to be led. But, when seeking the will of God, don’t forget that he has given different gifts (and responsibilities) to each of us.
Years ago (right after MCC was founded) we had Harry and Laurie Browning to minister. (Laurie is Pat & Shirley Boone’s youngest daughter.) Harry told the story of being in youth with his buddy Harry Irwin from Hot Springs. Harry Irwin would take his guitar and go to truck stops on I-30 where he sang and preached to the truck drivers. He saw a good harvest from these sessions so Harry Browning decided to take his guitar to one of the truck stops. He didn’t want his friend getting all that harvest by himself. The only problem was, that wasn’t God’s will for Harry Browning. He barely got out of the truck stop with his life.
And then there’s Annette. She has often spoken out when I would have kept quiet. But that’s her personality and God has used it. We were at a big company dinner years ago when the lady sitting next to Annette decided to start talking “religion” with her. As the conversation progressed, the lady explained that she was religious too. She did astrological readings for folks. I was barely paying attention to the conversation at that point but I (and everyone in the room) heard Annette plainly when she told the woman; “Astrology is of the devil and I curse it in the name of Jesus!” You could have heard a pin drop and the dinner quickly broke up. On the way home (as I was trying to figure out where I could get another job) Annette asked me if she had “overstepped.” I told her no, that God could handle it and, besides, what she’d said was true. By the way, the lady she rebuked was saved a week or so later and ended up at MCC for years.
So, “Study to show yourself approved. Rightly dividing the Word of Truth” and follow God’s leading as to when to speak out and when to keep your counsel. And remember to let God handle it if you think you may have made a mistake. He can turn it around if necessary.
I know that not everyone likes Michael Yon. And I know that not everyone wants to read about the war. But, in this time of family and remembrance, I ask you to read the remarks of Marine Lt. Gen. John F. Kelly, delivered to the Semper Fi Society of St. Louis on November 13, four days after Gen. John F. Kelly’s son was killed in Afghanistan. Kelly’s son, Marine 1st Lt. Robert Michael Kelly, 29, had been killed in action in Sangin, in southern Afghanistan, while leading his platoon on a combat patrol. The General tells the story of two other Marines who gave their all for their brothers.
via Michael Yon - - Giving Thanks for Our Warriors | The Weekly Standard
Subsidizing Tuition for Illegal Aliens Makes No Sense - by Maria Fotopoulos - There is a very Kafkaesque feel to this week's decision by the California Supreme Court to allow illegal aliens who graduated from state high schools to continue receiving in-state tuition at California's public universities and colleges.
So, let's get this straight. Thousands of people in California public colleges and universities are in the state and the country illegally. They are rewarded for this with in-state tuition rates, while those in the country legally - but not California residents - pay higher rates to attend California schools. Yes, that's definitely Kafkaesque...READ MORE []
You can't cure stupid nor thoughtless. Like folks who leave their shopping carts all over the parking lot.
A while back I was sitting in my truck, updating the checkbook after shopping, and noticed a lady pushing a cart to the vehicle next to me. I noticed because she had one sac in the cart, about big enough to hold a candy bar, that's all. Anyway, I went back to my business and she drove off. Then I finished up and started to back up when there was a "bump". I got out and she'd left her cart behind my truck.
James F. McClellan - - A recent new article stated that all major accidents had at least five contributing factors.
The "5 things" point is one that I've taught to my safety trainees for years. All the serious (involving lost time injuries or fatalities) incidents I ever investigated always had at least five contributing factors. Stopping or eliminating any one of these would have stopped the incident, thereby preventing the injury(s)/death(s).
Knowledge of this fact empowers us all to "step up" and stop unsafe acts and/or correct unsafe conditions, no matter how seemingly inconsequential.
Speaking of accidents, we once sent a team of emergency responders to a bromine truck wreck in Rockwood, Tennessee. The incident was pretty serious and the crew ended up being there a couple of weeks. They had left town suddenly and didn't really pack for an extended stay. After the immediate danger was over, they decided to go to town and buy some essentials like underwear. One of the guys was a famous tightwad who had been complaining for days about how bad he needed more briefs. When they all met back in the parking lot, the guys noticed that Durwood didn't have a bag. They asked him why he didn't get any underwear? He explained; "They only sold it in packs of three and I only needed one pair so I could wash one and wear one."
A few years later, Durwood retired and the guys gave him a red, glass covered wall box labeled “In Case Of Emergency” with a hammer attached. Inside was a pair of briefs.
One of our Face Book friends caught her son in a pretty serious lie. After discovering his duplicity, she let him open his presents (so he could see what he was no longer getting for Christmas.) The she asked if she’d been too strict.
I replied; “First of all, it's obvious that you love him, or you wouldn't care. Second, remember when you were that age. Third, punishment is O.K. for direct disobedience such as this. Fourth, punishment should be swift, appropriate and followed by love. When I had to punish my kids, I always followed it with love. Fifth, don't promise anything (punishment or otherwise) that you're not going to follow through on.
Sixth, don't drag it out (see four above.) Seventh, don't forget the love (see four above.) And eighth, it's O.K. to say "I'm sorry." This applies to all the participants.”
The neighbor of one of our classmates was killed by some young burglars last week. The whole community was in shock. ... We’ve got a solution to such acts. These young murders should be treated with disdain. Under the "McClellan Plan" any and all murderers would be housed in a 2'x3'x4' "Pig Cage" on the court house lawn for the rest of their lives. If their family wanted to feed them, O.K. but the state would not be out any money for their up keep.
So called "Common" criminals committing a felony with a weapon (any type of weapon) would be incarcerated for life in a maximum security prison w/o TV, Phone, etc. Again, food could be supplied by the family or friends if they so decide. But we ain't paying to feed them.
At the same time, non violent criminals (i.e. white collar criminals, petty thieves, etc.) would not be incarcerated. They would be required to work off the cost of their crime (including the cost of catching and convicting them) by doing community service and other money generating activities to pay back the folks they robbed.
Years ago, my dad, Tammy was robbed by a guy who ordered and consumed the most expensive item on the menu and then announced that he had no money with which to pay. Now Tammy never turned anyone away who asked them for food, but this guy didn’t ask, he took the food from Tammy. So, Tammy called the police. They arrested the guy and took him to jail. That afternoon, they called my dad to tell him that the guy was a true indigent who had no money. Tammy told them to release the guy. He explained, “I didn’t want to feed him twice.”
I’m looking forward to seeing the new "True Grit" movie. The original 1969 "True Grit" ended up earning a “mercy” Academy Award for the Duke. To make up for all the years the Academy had snubbed him. John Wayne richly deserved the award for several of his other movies. True Grit was a good movie, but definitely not his best. I would have given him the award for "The Searchers". He also gave Oscar Winning performances in: The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance (1962), Rio Bravo (1959), In Harm's Way, Hondo, The Quiet Man, She Wore a Yellow Ribbon, 3 Godfathers, Red River, and Stagecoach.
My other favorite "Duke" movies include: Donovan's Reef, The Longest Day, Hatari!, North to Alaska, and Trouble Along the Way.
Anyway, I'm also looking forward to seeing the Jeff Bridges version. It may win a place in my library.
BTW, The Duke's Granddaughter visited Magnolia this fall, left an autograph in "Mules."
Here’s a list of films that may challenge your perceptions of “uplifting.” Some are movies you haven’t seen in a while and some are movies you likely have never seen.

But all of them, at the end, are guaranteed to make you feel better as we continue to claw our way out of the Great Recession:

1. “Mr. Smith Goes To Washington” (1939) From Sony Pictures Home Entertainment , on DVD, about $14.99. /quotes/comstock/13*!sne/quotes/nls/sne (SNE 34.58, -0.42, -1.20%)

2. “It’s a Wonderful Life” (1946), From Paramount Home Entertainment , on DVD (60th Anniversary Edition) and Blu-ray; $17.99 for DVD, $20 for Blu-ray.

3. “Not One Less” (1999, Chinese with English subtitles) From Sony Pictures Home Entertainment, $26.

4. “Ratatouille” (2007) From Walt Disney Home Video , on DVD and Blu-ray; $20 for DVD, $25 for Blu-ray. /quotes/comstock/13*!dis/quotes/nls/dis (DIS 36.70, -0.17, -0.46%)

5.”Norma Rae” (1979) From Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment, on DVD, $10. (Twentieth Century Fox is a unit of News Corp. , which also owns MarketWatch, the publisher of this report.) /quotes/comstock/22x!e:nws (AU:NWS 16.25, +0.26, +1.63%)

6. “To Kill A Mockingbird” (1962) From Universal Studios Home Entertainment , on DVD and Blu-ray; $15 for DVD, $20 for Blu-ray. /quotes/comstock/13*!ge/quotes/nls/ge (GE 15.80, -0.14, -0.88%)

7. “Going My Way” (1944) From Universal Studios Home Entertainment, on DVD, $9.

8. “Happy-Go-Lucky” (2008) From Miramax Home Video, on DVD, $15.

9. “The Miracle Worker” (1962) From MGM Home Entertainment, on DVD, $8.

10. “The Up Series: 7 Up (1964), 7 Plus Seven (1970), 21 Up (1977), 28 Up (1984), 35 Up (1991), 42 Up (1998), 49 Up (2005)” From First Run Features, DVD Box Set, $75.
For New Year’s — Partying Like It’s 1999
The Degray Amateur Radio Club will be sponsoring an Amateur Radio License Exam Session on January 15, 2011, 10am at Baptist Medical Center Arkadelphia. At least one area ham is expected to be upgrading to Amateur Extra.
73 de Travis KB5ILY
870-260-6068 (Phone)
Travis W. Burton, NP, ESQ., KB5ILY / Arkadelphia AR
EC - Clark County AR / Assist. District Emergency Coord., District K
SATERN, ARRL Instructor & VE, AREC I, II & III
W5YI Instructor

Only he who Attempts the Ridiculous can Achieve the Impossible. (WILL HENRY)
Linux is my operating system of choice.

Computers are like Air Conditioners,
they stop working correctly when you open windows.
Day Out With Thomas™ at the Texas State Railroad
is moving to April! Hope you can join us this Spring!
Tickets go on sale Wednesday, December 1st.
FYI. Two lists: 1. Retailers who recognize Christmas. 2. Retailers who just talk about "holiday" stuff. - - [] - - Thanks to Sam Boggs
A couple of weeks ago a co-worker asked me about my ten-year plan. He started out asking about my goal setting process. The conversation moved into long-range plans, and the idea that everyone should have a ten-year plan.

“If you don’t have a plan, how will you know when you’re done?”

While I agree with that statement, I must admit I’ve never had a long-range plan, yet my life has turned out pretty well. God has done a good job with my failures and turned them into success. As we talked, I realized that I do have one plan.

One, single, simple goal. And I know, from experience, that if I achieve that one, single, simple goal, everything else – EVERYTHING ELSE – falls into place. And that one goal is to spend 20 minutes a day reading the Bible, and 10 minutes meditating and praying over what I’ve read. When I do that, life is one continuous mountaintop experience. And when I don’t, life is a struggle.

So here’s my ten-year plan:

If I successfully read my Bible 20 minutes a day, and meditate/pray 10 minutes a day, at the end of 10 years, that will be 3650 days. We’ll see where I am after that.

Joe Tudor []
* Senator likens EPA's emissions rules to "a new gas tax" []
The Environmental Protection Agency should postpone new pollution standards on refineries, said Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison, R-Texas, adding that the rules would be similar to "a new gas tax." The emissions regulations "will hurt every American driver, trucker, farmer and flier with higher gasoline, diesel and jet fuel prices," the senator wrote in a letter to EPA Administrator Lisa Jackson. The Hill/E2 Wire blog (12/29) LinkedInFacebookTwitterEmail this Story

* Dow's Solar Shingles will enter the market in 2011 []
Next year, Dow Chemical will introduce building-integrated photovoltaic Powerhouse Solar Shingles. The thin-film shingles can be installed by roofing contractors with few interconnections. The shingles could provide about half the electricity for an average home in the U.S., according to Dow. (12/29) LinkedInFacebookTwitterEmail this Story

* Louisiana petrochem industry could benefit from Haynesville Shale []
The Haynesville Shale may boost Louisiana's petrochemical industry, providing cheap feedstock for the state's chemical products. "The competitiveness and the outlook for our chemical industry are dramatically better than they were two years ago," said Louisiana Economic Development Secretary Stephen Moret. Baton Rouge Business Report (La.) (12/28) LinkedInFacebookTwitterEmail this Story

Public Health & Environment

* BPA tops ACSH's list of overblown health scares of 2010 []
Bisphenol A, atrazine and phthalates were among the most overblown health scares of 2010, according to the American Council on Science and Health. Canada's decision to label BPA as "toxic" was particularly extreme, the ACSH said. That action was unjustified under "the best available data and scientific knowledge," said Steven Hentges of the American Chemistry Council. American Council on Science and Health (12/29) LinkedInFacebookTwitterEmail this Story

* BP will likely manage costs of Gulf disaster []
Cleanup costs, legal fees and government fines will likely surpass BP's $40 billion estimate, but the U.K. oil major will get through the expense of the Gulf of Mexico spill, according to this analysis. BP is expected to produce $26 billion in global revenue next year, and the environmental effects of the disaster were less than expected. "It could have been a lot worse," said Tyler Priest, a petroleum historian who serves on the presidential spill panel. The Salt Lake Tribune (Utah)/The Associated Press (12/29) LinkedInFacebookTwitterEmail this Story

* Court rejects request to suspend EPA emission rules in Texas []
The U.S. Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals denied Texas' request to postpone the Environmental Protection Agency's new pollution rules for the state's refineries, power plants and other major greenhouse-gas emitters. The state argued that until a decision is made on the case, the court should suspend EPA's implementation. Reuters (12/29)
Update on Viacom Negotiations

We continue negotiating to renew a contract that expires at midnight, this Friday, Dec. 31, and covers a number of cable TV networks owned by Viacom, a New-York based media conglomerate. The affected channels are listed at the end of this email.

Unfortunately, despite a challenging economic environment, Viacom wants a more than 20% overall increase in what they’re paid, which includes significant payment for a new network with R-rated programming that you have not requested and may not want.

As contract deadlines draw near, Viacom has a history of using scare tactics. For instance, two years ago, with the customers of another cable company, Viacom exploited some of its own characters, like Dora the Explorer and SpongeBob SquarePants, depicting them as crying over the prospect of being taken “off the air.” Those tactics were misleading and unfair. First, only Viacom would force its programming “off the air.” Second, Viacom tried to leverage its children’s programming to extract higher payments.

(For illustrations of Viacom’s scare tactics, follow this link,, or this one,

Hopefully, Viacom will forego such measures and instead negotiate with us in good faith to establish a new contract with fair and reasonable terms for you.

In the unusual event these negotiations are unsuccessful and Viacom removes its channels, we reiterate our pledge to reduce your bill by the cost of the affected channels for whatever length of time they are unavailable.

We will provide further updates when there is a material change in the status of these negotiations. Check our blog for more information:
Marine Stabbed by Suspected Shoplifter - - Associated Press

AUGUSTA, Ga. - A U.S. Marine reservist collecting toys for children was stabbed when he helped stop a suspected shoplifter in eastern Georgia.
Best Buy sales manager Orvin Smith told The Augusta Chronicle that man was seen on surveillance cameras Friday putting a laptop under his jacket at the Augusta store.
When confronted, the man became irate, knocked down an employee, pulled a knife and ran toward the door. Outside were four Marines collecting toys for the service branch's "Toys For Tots" program.
Smith said the Marines stopped the man, but he stabbed one of them, Cpl. Phillip Duggan, in the back. The cut did not appear to be severe. Despite the injury of one Marine, the suspect was detained by the Marines and held until police arrived.

When local police arrived, the suspect was transported to the local hospital with two broken arms, a broken leg, possible broken ribs, assorted lacerations and bruises he obtained when he fell trying to run after stabbing the Marine.
* Spotlight — 18 Best & Worst Foods for Blood Sugar []
When faced with everyday food decisions, have you ever wished someone would just tell you what to eat and what not to? Wish granted! Read on.

Scrambled eggs with vegetables and cheese. Two scrambled eggs with a tablespoon of milk contains 197 calories and 1.5 grams of carbs. Add cheese and fresh, low carb veggies to up the nutrient quota.
An egg-white omelet on a "multi-grain" bagel. For one, the vast majority of an egg's amazing array of nutrients are in the yolk, so keep it in there! Second, a multi-grain bagel is likely to have very little whole grain or fiber in it and a huge amount of carbs. Starbucks' Multigrain Bagel packs 62 grams, along with a
whopping 320 calories.

Greek yogurt or cottage cheese. A 4-ounce serving of 4% milkfat cottage cheese has 6 grams of carbs (lower fat varieties will have more), 12 grams of protein, and 120 calories. Full-fat Greek yogurt contains about 4 grams of carbs per 4 ounces, 150 calories, and 8 grams of protein.
Low fat fruit yogurt. Eight ounces of fat free, fruit flavored yogurt contains 43 grams of carbs. Low fat and fat free yogurts are chock-full of hidden carbs and sugar; they need it to replace the fat! Stick to plain, full-fat yogurts or go for lowcarb fruit versions.

Whole fresh fruit. A half-cup of strawberries has 23 calories and 5.5 grams of carbs.
A fruit smoothie. A small Strawberry Fruit Coolatta from Dunkin Donuts weighs in at 72 grams of carbs and 300 calories. Plus, fruit is best eaten the way it came from nature. The fibrous membranes, pulp, and flesh keep the sugars from being absorbed so quickly into your bloodstream.

Crispbread. One-half of a big slice of Wasa Whole Grain crispbread (5 grams of carbs) quenches a crunch craving without all the junk. Its ingredients are simply whole grain rye flour, water, yeast, and salt. For a snack, have a half topped with a soft cheese and some diced veggies.
Rice cakes. Confused? Aren't rice cakes a health food? Not really. One serving of salt and pepper mini rice cakes contains 11 grams of carbs and 70 calories. (To top it off, the third ingredient is "corn syrup solids," and the sixth ingredient is sugar! Is that really necessary?)

Nuts. One quarter-cup of nutrient-rich pistachios delivers 8.5 grams of carbs along with a healthy 3 grams of fiber. Almonds are one of the lowest carb nut varieties; one-half cup of almonds contains just 3.6 grams of carbs.
Snack mix. One cup of cereal snack mix has 40 grams of carbs. There are a few nuts in the recipe but, but most of this mix is made of refined flour and sugar (not to mention salt), in the form of cereal, pretzels, and bagel chips. It’s a blood sugar disaster waiting to happen.

Barley. Barley is the lowest-glycemic grain tested so far, which means it has a more moderate effect on blood sugar than other grains. One-half cup of cooked, pearl barley contains 21.6 grams of carbs (3 grams of fiber) and 94 calories. And if you can find the less processed, hulled barley or Scotch barley, the carbs and glycemic index will be lower.
Rice. Rice is a high-glycemic grain, unfortunately, and all varieties will cause blood sugar to rise fast. One-half cup of cooked white rice has 26.6 grams of carbs and no fiber to speak of. Go for barley or quinoa. And if you choose rice, remember to go with brown rice, which is at least a whole grain.

Spaghetti squash. A half cup of boiled or baked spaghetti squash has 19 calories and 4.7 grams of carbs.
Pasta. You may not need us to tell you this, but one cup of cooked spaghetti contains 43 grams of carbs. When it's pasta night, make sure you buy whole grain, low carb noodles and keep portions small.

Dark chocolate mini chips. One tablespoon of Hershey's semi-sweet miniature chocolate chips has 4 grams of carbs and 80 calories. Minis are the way to go; you'll be surprised how satisfying a small amount of these can be.
Dried fruit. A 1.5-ounce serving (one small box of raisins) of dried fruit has 34 grams of carbs. Stick to fruit in its fresh form.

Popcorn. One cup of air-popped popcorn has 6.2 grams of carbs and 31 calories. And popcorn is a whole, unprocessed food. Now, that's a great snack!
Potato chips. One ounce (20 chips) of plain, thin potato chips contains 15 grams of carbs and 150 calories. Count out 20 chips, lay them next to about three cups of popcorn, and decide which is a better investment for your 15g of carbs.

You're off to a great start!
"Big Bang" is a "secret" pleasure of Annette and me. Here are two of my favorite "BB" jokes.
"Why did the Chicken cross the mobius strip? To get to the same side."
"A neutron goes into a bar and asks; 'How much for a drink?' The bartender replies 'For you? No Charge.'"
Angie Loree Caldwell - - "The only real blind person at Christmas-time is he who has not Christmas in his heart." Helen Keller
Barbara Daniels - - From Rosemary Cragan Dolliver: When filling out your Christmas cards this year, take ONE CARD and SEND it to this address: A Recovering American Soldier, c/o Walter Reed Army Medical Center, 6900 Georgia Avenue, NW Washington, DC 20307-5001. If we pass this on and everyone sends one card, think of how many cards these soldiers would receive... let's show OUR SUPPORT
Brian Lester Bohrer - - There is no security on earth. There is only opportunity. -Douglas MacArthur

Brian Lester Bohrer - - If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.
Brody Hubbard - - You do not need a parachute to sky dive. You only need a parachute to sky dive twice.
Buzzy Landry - Life is hard; it's harder if you’re stupid: John Wayne
Chris Witt - - Long before Karl Marx was born the Pilgrims experimented with socialism and it didn't work! Governor Bradford changed course and assigned each family a plot of land (private property). He also let them market their own crops (free enterprise). He said, they had more corn than they could eat. Let's not allow socialism to get a foothold in America.
Chuck Jackson - - Of course, the perfect wine for any turkey entirely depends on exactly who that particular turkey is. (Thanks to my cousin Annette down in Texas.)
Daryl Cox - - Two wrongs may not make a right, but three lefts do...
Deena Freeman Hunter - - I've been reading about the bad effects of chocolate and alcohol so I have decided to give up reading - Connie Moore
Jacqueline Kelly - - Everyone's entitled to my opinion
James F. McClellan - - I can't remember ever having a dream from God but I believe that God communicates with us and can use dreams to do so.
So how do we know if it's from God? Any time we think we've heard from God, we should compare the "communication" with ...the Bible. If it doesn't line up with the Word, it ain't from God.

James F. McClellan - - UnForgiveness is an acid, eating away at the person that contains it.
Forgiveness is a cleanser, eliminating the dark, harmful stuff in our life.
Jay Leno - "Politics is show business for ugly people."
Kit Lange - - "You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do." ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

Kit Lange - - Family: The group of folks who show up en masse when they think you're wrong, but otherwise have to keep pics around to remind themselves you exist. (that made me laugh so don't shoot the messenger. Lol)

Kit Lange - - What is it about resolve that melts in darkness, and pain that magnifies in silence?

Kit Lange - - "People lose things. Car keys, belongings, jobs, even families. But if at the end of a soul-searching, endless night, you find you have lost your faith in something...well. That's a bad night indeed. The worst kind, maybe."

Kit Lange - - "You can't lead a horse anywhere if he doesn't wanna go. As for the making him drink part...well, if they're not bright enough to know what you're offering, I say leave them in the desert!" (LOL)

Kit Lange - - I don't care about your dog. I don't want to hear about its pictures, or its size, or its diet, or what color its crap was this morning. I'm tired of being made quite aware (along with a slew of other people) that your dog has replaced everything else that's important in your life.

Kit Lange - - "Behavior is the mirror in which everyone shows their image." --Goethe

Kit Lange - - Oh, the comfort - the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person - having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is
worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest... away. ~Dinah Craik, A Life for a Life, 1859

Kit Lange - - Actually you can see all the reports for aircraft crashes on the FAA website. I go on there fairly often to "flesh out" the information that we get as controllers...or to just educate myself because I'm extremely fascinated by incidents, especially in the human factors...for instance, the fact that it takes at least 5 things to go wrong in order for a crash to occur. (To see a perfect example see the air crash at Tenerife.)

Kit Lange - - "Hope is a funny thing. No matter what we have, if you take someone's hope, you leave them nothing. But if someone has nothing and you give them hope, you give them courage, strength, and the belief that just maybe..."

Kit Lange - - "People know right from wrong. That isn't the problem. The problem is their absolute dumbfoundedness when they consistently do wrong and wonder why they aren't happy."

Kit Lange - - "I've never known a person who was unable to make the right choice. I've known quite a few who refused to."
Joe Sledge - - In the end, people appreciate honest criticism far more than flattery. Proverbs 28:23
Leslie R. Kent - - We should give as we would receive, cheerfully, quickly, and without hesitation; for there is no grace in a benefit that sticks to the fingers. - Seneca

Leslie R. Kent - - What good is having someone who can walk on water if you don't follow in his footsteps?
Mary Louise Brownlee Alexis - - copied this from Cathy's site. Good message to spread. "Tis the season to forgive those who have wronged you, love those who are always by your side and give all that you can to those who have nothing and no one!"
Michael Maris - - Your mind can easily be affected by the thought of Jesus, but everything changes when your heart becomes affected by the person of Jesus.

Michael Maris - - Don't live despising your current condition, imagining that a future condition is gonna make you fulfilled, that's not truth - Billy Humphries
Michael Yon - - China Losing Its Mind over Nobel - This brings up an interesting aside: if the WikiLeaks crowd really is about openness, why aren't they focusing on China, North Korea, Burma, and other such places?

Michael Yon - - "Posterity -- you will never know how much it has cost my generation to preserve your freedom. I hope you will make good use of it." --John Quincy Adams (Thank you, Bill Smith.)
Nancee Davis Law - - When I was a kid, people who wore their hats crooked, pants half off and shoes untied rode the short bus

Nancee Davis Law - - if you need something to be thankful for, check your pulse

Nancee Davis Law - - You can't live a positive life with a negative mind

Nancee Davis Law - - A successful woman takes the bricks the devil throws at her and uses them to lay a firm foundation!

Nancee Davis Law - - The best exercise is bending down to pick someone else up.

Nancee Davis Law - - Three phrases that sum up Christmas are: Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men, and Batteries not Included

Nancee Davis Law - - Sometimes we look right past the things that are most important to us in search of something more, when what we had was more than enough.
Norma Kay Rowe - - A Bible that's falling apart, usually belongs to someone who isn't...

Norma Kay Rowe - - Wouldn't the world be grand if people expected a lil less, gave a lil more, and remembered where it all comes from.

Norma Kay Rowe - - Act with integrity in everything you do, no matter how small always do the right thing, cause your children are always watching and learning from your example.
Pamela Prince - - Two more snakes this week- one in the kitchen, one in the carport. Thank God for Lk 10:19. I get to use this scripture a lot in Congo- 31 cobras in our house and yard in the past 1 ½ years. God is faithful to protect us. And to help us to sleep at night!
Rich Hightower - - We have nothing if not belief. C.S. Lewis.
Sonia Woods - - When it comes to creating a happy life for yourself, there are only two choices: Spend your time doing what you love to do, or find a way to love what you happen to be doing!
Timothy Tackett - - Perseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired of doing the hard work you already did.

Timothy Tackett - - Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile way and you have their shoes.
Vanessa McClellan Malone - - I read an article that stated kids who are having trouble with reading should read to their pets. It's less pressure. So, Josiah read a Star Wars book to our cat, Skippy, last night. It worked great, except that Skippy lost interest and left before Josiah could finish. :o)
[] Christmas Food Court Flash Mob, Hallelujah Chorus - Must See! Thanks to Claiborne Sharp
~~~~~ - -With Bowl season in full swing, I'm enjoying these stories that will inspire sports fans and non-sports fans, alike.

Who Is Really #1 Football Player? - - We're getting down to the nitty gritty of deciding the top football team in America. I'm nominating a young man who is far and above any player I've seen this season. Come see true class. Read More >> []
Blind Teen Leads Two Football Teams - - Jake Olson might have lost his sight last year, but this wise teen has incredible vision about life. It's enough to inspire the USC Trojans and now an NFL team, as well. Watch Video >> []
It strikes me that both of today's stories are about choice. We often have more power than we ever realize.

Homeless Vet Finds & Returns Cash - Brian Christopher could sure think of plenty of things he could do with the $172 he found inside a lost wallet. What he ended up doing is priceless.
Golfer On A Mission - Mike Minicucci thought his golf game was over when doctors diagnosed an inoperable brain tumor. See how one man is defying the odds in medicine, on the golf course and life. Read More []
America is not at war. The military is at war. - - America is at the mall, or watching the movie stars. []
Bryan Fischer: The feminization of the Medal of Honor - RIGHTLYCONCERNED.COM []
Each week the Defense Department highlights military personnel who have gone above and beyond in the war. [] - - Troy Scott - - Awarded: The Purple Heart

"We have the world's largest, baddest army," said Major Troy Scott of the Army National Guard, while explaining how easily stereotypes against other nations' militaries can often arise. "But when you're building a coalition, you have to get past those obstacles."

MAJ Scott’s deployment to eastern Afghanistan in 2008- his first and for which he has received a Purple Heart, a Bronze Star, and the Army Commendation Medal with Valor for his service- was spent in the company of those whom many back home may not have expected. Two thirds of the "Herculean" Task Force he commanded were members of the Polish military brigade - not American soldiers.

MAJ Scott was assigned as Senior U.S. Advisor to the Polish Military Contingent in Afghanistan, operating as the Deputy Commander of the 1200 man Task Force White Eagle- predominately Poles- from March 2008 to October 2008. It was the only coalition battalion-size task force under the 4th Brigade Combat Team of the 101st Airborne Division.

On October 31, 2008 the Polish Military Contingent assumed responsibility of their own Brigade battle space, with MAJ Scott continuing on as advisor to the Polish brigade.

Said MAJ Scott, "Sometimes U.S. Forces, we look at ourselves- and rightly so- as a superior force." But, he explained, to watch one of our NATO partners (particularly the Poles) operate in Afghanistan and exceed expectations proved to be a tremendously gratifying experience

There has been a further impact to maintaining such a partnership as well. Keeping the Poles in Afghanistan allows the U.S. to keep 3 times the number of our soldiers out of Afghanistan.

"The value is expediential- a combat multiplier," he said.

It was MAJ Scott's job to ensure that the American expectations were understandable for the Poles, for whom English was not their second language, but their third. Scott, who had no previous experience with the Polish military or even the Polish language, observed the melding of two differing armies and cultures, fighting alongside one another for a shared goal in a foreign space.

Learning the land and history of the region was key to both MAJ Scott and his Task Force. During his deployment, his brigade participated in the largest coalition movement of personnel in Afghanistan, moving battle spaces from the Paktika province to the Ghazni province.

"You have to be a little bit politician, engineer, city planner, lawyer," described MAJ Scott.

For his service and leadership, MAJ Scott has also been recommended for the Silver Star and Distinguished Service Cross.
Michael Yon - World's Most Dangerous Jobs – Embedded reporting, per unit time, is probably one of the most dangerous jobs on the planet. During firefights, you are the only one without a weapon.

Joao Silva is a very experienced war photographer whose luck ran out. There will be no VA for Mr. Silva. Godspeed on recovery. Looks like Mr. Silva is... in need of funding. Support Joao Silva, the War Photographer Who Lost His Legs to a Landmine []
A few weeks ago, embedded with a patrol in Afghanistan on assignment for the New York Times, photojournalist Joao Silva stepped on a landmine and lost both his legs below the knees. He kept taking photographs the whole time.
Got this article from Michael Yon. Seems that the Army is concerned about "Smart Phones" giving out troop’s locations and movements to the enemy. Check it out.
The latest from Michael Yon, the foremost “milnews” blogger on the web.

Please click [].
Thought you might like a nice photo download from the Geminid meteor shower earlier this week.

This week six years ago, I was packing for my first journey to Iraq.

Am in serious talks about a January embed in Afghanistan. Have not yet brought it up through official channels, but got invite from an officer I know. Also want to get to Iraq in early 2011 (if feasible).

Please see Shooting Star [].
Ripley's Believe it or Not plans to publish this photo in their next book. [].

Can you relate? []
From the United States Army: Smartphones, social networking, and OPSEC on battlefields and at home [].

"Ripley's Believe it or Not" has selected one of my Afghanistan photos for their next book. Am preparing a free download of the image for my readers. The free download should be ready in next couple of days.
Meanwhile, my photo book has a slight launch delay until January. My great apologies for anyone who is inconvenienced by this delay. We understand it's Christmas, yet we want this to be right and it's not quite there yet. Please click [] for more details.
This entry on my Face book is getting a positive response...because it's true. :)
Please read "American Arrogance" [] for a brief inventory of Global Arrogance.
Please join my Face book; there are many updates on Face book [].

Please see "PFC Bradley Manning's Charge Sheet" []

Got an email from Geoff Morrell who is a spokesman for the Pentagon.
You've got to read this excellent question & answer with Secretary Gates. Secretary Gates fields a simple question with a simple but full answer. And it's a great answer. Secretary Gates doesn't hold back.
Go Gates! []
... Meanwhile, please see these awesome photos [] from Afghanistan. This was published in a different form earlier this year. USO magazine will republish this in a few weeks.
One evening last year in Laos, I saw this monk reading in a window. With the holiday season upon us, I remembered this moment of peace and thought you might like to share it.
Please click to download a free Moment of Peace [].
Have published a variation of a previous photo from the Himalaya. I got luck with the camera that night.
Please click through [] to see the photo. At the bottom there is a link for a free download for personal use.
Not everyone gets to take such a shower. Great photo! :)
Please see the Heavenly Shower [].
This is a short story from a rescue tragedy that unfolded about a week ago. There is also a photo download [].

Happy Holidays!
Very Respectfully,
Michael Yon
Your Writer,

Please remember that this website accepts no advertisement and is dependent on your support.

PS Please sign up for my updates at "Michael_Yon" [] (not Michael Yon).
If you would like to encourage US Troops overseas, but are not sure just how to begin, visit for ideas.
Cinema, Video / TV We’ve Recently Watched:

It Happened One Night
My Favorite Brunette
Ball of Fire
Mr. Moto's Last Warning
One, Two, Three
Going My Way
The Road to Hong Kong
Toy Story 3
One, Two, Three
Planet 51
Paper Books We’ve recently read:

Fiasco: The American Military Adventure in Iraq, 2003 to 2005
Thomas E. Ricks
Pursuit : A novel / Thomas Perry.
Final witness : a novel / James Scott Bell.
Kindle books we recently read:

Our Patchwork Nation: The Surprising Truth About the 'Real' America - - Chinni, Dante, Gimpel, James
Safely Home - - Alcorn, Randy
Storm Killer - - Blue, Benjamin
How To Avoid Model Railroading Mistakes - - Anderson, Robert
Stupid Christmas Gregory, Leland
Fall of Giants Follett, Ken
Photos on the front of this week’s “Bleat” include - - David’s Christmas Decorations on his Jeep, Josiah’s photo of our tree decoration, one of my latest bread creations, and Ethan’s photo of Josiah.
We’ve now got several addresses on the web for "Da Bleat." For the latest issue, go to
Our photos are posted at
Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
Recipe(s) - - Recipe: 'Red Pepper Soup With Ginger And Fennel'
by Madhur Jaffrey
At Home with Madhur Jaffrey: Simple, Delectable Dishes from India, Pakistan, Bangladesh, and Sri Lanka - By Madhur Jaffrey - Hardcover, 320 pages - Knopf - List Price: $35

This has always been a favorite soup of mine. I made it very recently with the last of the bell peppers on my plants. The leaves had shriveled already, but the peppers were still hanging on. It was such a cold, damp day that I decided to add some warming ginger to the soup for added comfort. Serves 6

2 pounds sweet red bell peppers

4 tablespoons olive or canola oil

1 medium onion, chopped

1 medium potato (about 4 ounces), peeled and chopped

One 1-inch piece fresh ginger, peeled and chopped

½ teaspoon whole fennel seeds

1/4 teaspoon ground turmeric

1 teaspoon ground cumin seeds

1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper

5-5 ½ cups chicken stock or vegetable stock

1 teaspoon salt

5-6 tablespoons heavy cream

Chop the peppers coarsely after discarding all the seeds. Pour the oil into a large, wide pan and set over medium-high heat. When hot, put in the peppers, onions, potatoes, ginger, fennel seeds, turmeric, cumin, and cayenne. Stir and fry until all the vegetables just start to brown. Add 2 cups of the stock and the salt. Stir and bring to a simmer. Cover, turn heat to low, and simmer gently for 25 minutes. Ladle the soup in batches into a blender and blend until smooth. Pour the blended soup into a clean pot. Add the remaining stock, thinning the soup out as much as you like. Add the cream and mix it in. Adjust salt, as needed. Heat through before serving.

From At Home with Madhur Jaffrey: Simple, Delectable Dishes from India, Pakistan, Bangladesh, and Sri Lanka by Madhur Jaffrey. Copyright 2010 Madhur Jaffrey. Excerpted by permission of Knopf, a division of Random House, Inc.
Cornbread Crusted Turkey

This turkey recipe is not just for Thanksgiving-enjoy this hearty turkey dinner any time of year!

* 1 cup low-fat buttermilk

* 1 Tbsp Dijon mustard

* 4 skinless turkey fillets (3oz each)

* 4x4 square of prepared cornbread
* 1 egg white (or substitute liquid egg white)

* 1 cup low-sodium chicken broth

* 1 Tbsp cornstarch

* 1lb frozen baby carrots

* 1 Tbsp fresh sage - rinsed, dried, and chopped (or 1 tsp dried sage)

* 1 Tbsp butter


Preheat oven to 350 F. Combine buttermilk and Dijon mustard. Mix well.

Add turkey fillets to buttermilk mixture to marinate for 5-10 minutes while preparing cornbread. Grind cornbread in a food processor, or use your

fingers to make coarse crumbs. Place breadcrumbs on a baking sheet, and dry in a 300 of oven or toaster oven for 4-5 minutes. Do not brown. Pour breadcrumbs into a dry, shallow dish. Put egg white in a separate bowl.

Remove turkey from the buttermilk, and dip each fillet first in the egg white and then in the cornbread crumbs to coat. Be sure to discard leftover buttermilk mixture and cornbread crumbs. Place breaded turkey fillets on a baking sheet, and bake for 10-15 minutes (to a minimum internal temperature of 165 F). While the turkey is cooking, combine chicken broth, cornstarch, carrots, sage, and butter in a medium saucepan. Bring to a boil over high heat, stirring occasionally. Lower temperature to a simmer.

Simmer gently for about 5 minutes, or until the butter is melted, the sauce is thick, and the carrots are warm. Serve each 3-ounce turkey fillet with 1 cup of carrots and sauce mixture
Yield: 4 servings

Nutritional Information per Serving (3ox turkey, 1 cup carrots and sauce mixture)

* Calories: 285
* Total Fiber: 3 grams
* Total Fat: 6 grams
* Protein: 29 grams
* Saturated Fat: 3 grams
* Carbohydrates: 29 grams
* Cholesterol: 48 milligrams
* Potassium: 378 milligrams
* Sodium: 420 milligrams

Source: National Institutes of Health - - - Keep the Beat: Heart Healthy Recipes

Live to Serve
A Weary World is Watching
By: Chuck Colson|Published: December 31, 2010

I said earlier in the week on BreakPoint that my new year's resolution is to live every day as my last. And to my last breath, God help me, I'll live to serve.

Chuck Colson
Ever since I was a boy, I was driven to serve my country. As a 10-year-old at the outbreak of World War II, I could only dream that one day I could put on a uniform and fight the enemy. But I did what I could. I organized a neighborhood drive to collect scrap metal for the war effort. Before I had reached 40 years of age, I had served as a captain in the Marines and as special counsel to President Nixon.

But besides my country, there was another cause that I served wholeheartedly. That cause was me. power, a great career, money—they were all were mine. But then I lost them all in the aftermath of Watergate.

And for that, I am profoundly grateful to God.

You see, with my world collapsing around me, I received Christ as Lord and Savior. And it was in the crucible of prison that God took my desire to serve myself and transformed it into something much greater. He gave me a desire to serve others—particularly those who are abandoned by society, prisoners. I take no credit for this. None. Zero. I might as well take credit for the color of my eyes. It was God working His will in me, a great sinner.

I know all too well that since my release from prison more than 30 years ago, people have been watching me, to see if the old White House Hatchet Man turned prison evangelist would prove to be a phony.

It puts a lot of pressure on you. But I’ve got news for you. People are watching you, too! A weary world is watching with great skepticism all who profess Christ.

And that’s one reason why we who “by grace have been saved through faith” must be about doing the “good works which God prepared in advance for us to do” (Ephesians 2:8-10). For it is through Christian acts of loving service—especially to the more needy among us—that the world will see the power and love of Christ, just as they see it in the prisons that we work in through our ministry.

History is full of examples. As plagues swept through ancient Rome, the wealthy pagans—even doctors—fled for their lives. But the Christians stayed behind to care for the sick and dying. That witness fueled the growth of the Church. Why was Mother Teresa beloved by religious and non-religious alike? Because she cared for the utterly destitute. It’s why, even in this, the most secular age ever, the Salvation Army is held in such high respect.

It’s that kind of selfless service that can bring even the most powerful man on earth to the verge of tears. Let me explain.

In 2008, I received the Presidential Citizens Medal from President Bush. I did so on behalf of Prison Fellowship and the thousands of men and women, volunteers and staff who make up this movement.

At the ceremony in the Oval Office, the President talked about what true redemption was. He told my family how he was with me when he met a prisoner—a convicted murderer—back in 1998 at our InnerChange Freedom Initiative in Texas. Then, five years later, the President received that very same man, Robert Sutton, in the Roosevelt Room of the White House. I had brought him there with two other IFI graduates. Sutton told the President how the love of Christ, displayed through caring Christian volunteers, had transformed him. At that point, the President embraced him.

As the President told that story, tears came to his eyes.

And tears came to mine, as well. That, my friends, is why we live to serve others. So the world may know that Christ is Lord.

Further Reading and Information

Chuck Colson []
Founder, Prison Fellowship Ministries, BreakPoint, Colson Center

Presidential Citizen's Medal for Chuck Colson []
Gina Dalfonzo
Capital Ideas
Money, Greed and God
By: Chuck Colson|Published: December 15, 2010 12:00 AM

Is capitalism the cause -- or solution -- to our economic mess? One new book gives a compelling answer.

Chuck Colson

After the misadventures of Enron, Bernie Madoff, AIG, Lehman Brothers, and assorted inside traders, many in government and media are pointing their fingers at capitalism--calling for tougher laws, stricter enforcement, and even the end of the free market system.

After all, they reason, didn’t the capitalists on Wall Street land us all in this economic crisis? Well-known pastors have asked can capitalism possibly fit into a Christian worldview?

Addressing these questions is my friend Dr. Jay Richards of the Discovery Institute. Jay’s newest book is Money Greed, and God: Why Capitalism is the Solution and Not the Problem.

In the book, Richards begins with the question of economics and worldview. All truth is God’s truth, he writes. And “Being a Christian doesn’t mean you can disregard economic facts.” In other words, economic truths are God’s truth, as well.

One of those great economic truths, he explains, is the heart of capitalism: “What we now know is that market economies work because they allow wealth to be created, rather than remaining a fixed pie. Economics,” he goes on, “need not be a zero-sum game in which someone wins only if someone else loses. We have discovered an economic order that creates wealth in abundance—capitalism.”

This, he points out, is the only real, long-term hope for the poor in this country and across the globe. Not charity, not foreign aid, and not government handouts, but access to markets where human creativity can result in wealth-creation.

But Richards is quick to point out that wealth-creating capitalism requires more than just competition and trading. Beneficial capitalism is founded, he says, on the “rule of law and virtues like cooperation, stable families, self-sacrifice, a commitment to delayed gratification, and a willingness to risk based on future hope. These all,” he adds, “fit nicely with a Christian worldview.”

Richards’s book tackles a number of economic myths. Two I’ve already mentioned: that wealth is a zero-sum game and that it merely gets transferred, not created. He also debunks the myths that capitalism is based on primarily on greed, and that lending money at interest is always exploitive.

Finally Richards looks at resources. Are we in danger of using up all earth’s natural resources? His answer is a resounding, No. That kind of thinking assumes things never change, but they do. Just as the age of the horse passed, so will the age of the internal combustion engine and the petroleum economy.

Why? Because people are our greatest natural resource. Humans aren’t primarily users of resources and polluters of the environment. Created in the image of God, we’re bursting with ingenuity and industry; we are co-creators and stewards. And so straight-line extrapolations about the future are almost always wrong.

Richards’ book is, above all, realistic. As a Christian thinker he is well aware of the nature of the Fall. And he does a wonderful job showing how capitalism rightly understood forms the basis of human economic flourishing--and provides the key for getting us through the current economic crisis.

Come to our online bookstore at to get your copy of Money, Greed, and God—a book I can highly recommend.
Persecution in Iraq
Intolerable Silence
By: Chuck Colson|Published: December 17, 2010 12:00 AM

Finally, a major news outlet reports on the persecution of Iraqi Christians. But I have to wonder if the Administration is reading the headlines.

On Monday the New York Times ran a lead paragraph to a story that’s as chilling as any I’ve read in recent memory. Here it is:

“A new wave of Iraqi Christians has fled to northern Iraq and abroad amid a campaign of violence against them and growing fear that the country’s security forces are unable or, more ominously, unwilling to protect them.”

There, in one paragraph, the Times sums up the grim situation facing Christians in Baghdad and throughout Iraq. They are subject to a campaign of violence—not some indiscriminate acts by a few Islamist radicals. They are being harassed and killed right under the very noses of the Iraqi security forces and the government, and it is not clear at all that the government wants to stop it.

I have talked about this time and time again on BreakPoint, and I have criticized the American media for ignoring it. Well, my hat’s off to the New York Times for putting the story on the front page.

The issue of Christians in Iraq really hits home, particularly the week before Christmas. These “Assyrian” or “Chaldean” Christians form one of the oldest Christian communities in the world, dating back to biblical times—long before the rise of Islam.

And, sad to say, the action or inaction of the U. S. government has played a major role in the situation. No doubt the U.S. government never intended to place Christians in the crosshairs of Islamist radicals, but the invasion of Iraq prepared the ground for what Nina Shea at Freedom House has called a “ruthless cleansing campaign by Sunni, Shiite and Kurdish militants.”

What’s scandalous is that the U.S. has done precious little about it. I have no doubt that if the Administration were to pressure the Iraqi government—including threatening to cut off aid—the persecution would either stop, or at least the Iraqi government would start to make honest efforts to end the bloodshed. And you and I need to tell the Administration and Congress that the U. S. government must not tolerate such blatant persecution.

Maybe the Administration’s silence on the issue has something to do with its effort to improve relations with the Muslim world—an effort I applaud. But we can’t remain silent for fear of offending Muslims. Even if, as a reputable pollster told me, up to 18 percent of Muslims hold radical views and support religious violence, that means 80 percent or more do not. It is those peace-loving Muslims we should enlist in the fight against the radical Islamist worldview and the barbarians who embrace religious bloodshed.

After all, we believe in the words of the Declaration of Independence. “All men,” that’s including Muslims, as well as Iraqi Christians, “are created equal and are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights.” Religious freedom is one of those rights. So when our men and women go into combat around the world, they are fighting not just for the rights of Christians, but for Muslims, Sikhs, Buddhists, —that is, for the rights of all people.

But by doing nothing as our so-called allies in the Iraqi government ignore the deadly persecution of Christians, the U.S. not only betrays its principles, but it has blood on its hands.

So, kudos to the New York Times for giving the plight of Iraqi Christians top billing. It’s time for the Administration to do the same.

Further Reading and Information

More Christians Flee Iraq After New Violence
Steven Lee Myers | The New York Times | December 12, 2010 []

The Persecution of Christians in the 'Muslim World'
Ken Blackwell | World Magazine | December 15, 2010 []

Money, Greed and God: Why Capitalism is the Solution and not the Problem

Two Minute Warning: Our Work Matters to God
Copyright © 2010 Prison Fellowship. All Rights Reserved _ _
Residents of Columbia County, Arkansas are represented in Congress by:

Senator John Boozman (R_ AR)
Senator Mark Pryor (D_ AR)
Phone 202_224_2353
FAX 202_228_0908
Representative Michael A. Ross (D _ 04)
Phone 202_225_3772
FAX 202_225_1314

Other states congresspersons can be found at: []
Words of the Day: boondocks \ BOON-doks \ , noun;
1. A remote rural area (usually preceded by "the.")
2. An uninhabited area with thick natural vegetation, as a backwoods or marsh.
"I never think of the future -- it comes soon enough." - Albert Einstein

"Sweet are the uses of adversity." - William Shakespeare

"Occupation is one of the pleasures of paradise, and we cannot be happy without it." - Anna Jameson

"Mere precedent is a dangerous source of authority." - Andrew Jackson

"A hundred times every day I remind myself that my inner and outer life are based on the labors of other men, living and dead, and that I must exert myself in order to give in the same measure as I have received and am still receiving."--Albert Einstein

I can honestly say that I was never affected by the question of the success of an undertaking. If I felt it was the right thing to do, I was for it regardless of the possible outcome." - Golda Meir

"There is one day that is ours. There is one day when all we Americans who are not self-made go back to the old home to eat saleratus biscuits and marvel how much nearer to the porch the old pump looks than it used to. ... Thanksgiving Day ... is the one day that is purely American." - O. Henry

"Little minds are tamed and subdued by misfortune; but great minds rise above them." - Washington Irving

"Sooner or later I'm going to die, but I'm not going to retire." - Margaret Mead

"A single conversation across the table with a wise man is worth a month's study of books." - Chinese proverb

"Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing." - Abraham Lincoln

"Trying to get people to reason in a way that is not natural for them is like trying to teach a pig to sing. You don't accomplish anything and you annoy the pig." - E. Jeffrey Conklin and William Weil

"Never bear more than one trouble at a time. Some people bear three kinds - all they have had, all they have now, and all they expect to have." - Edward Everett Hale

"If a man will begin with certainties, he shall end in doubts. But if he will be content to begin with doubts he shall end in certainties." - Francis Bacon

"I keep six honest serving-men. They taught me all I knew. Their names are What and Why and When And How and Where and Who." - Rudyard Kipling

"The one common experience of all humanity is the challenge of problems." - R. Buckminster Fuller

"Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them." - Albert Einstein

"There is always an easy solution to every human problem - neat, plausible, and wrong." - H.L. Mencken

"If a problem has no solution, it may not be a problem, but a fact - not to be solved, but to be coped with over time." - Shimon Peres

"To see, to hear, means nothing. To recognize (or not to recognize) means everything." - Andre Breton

"There is something even more valuable to civilization than wisdom, and that is character." - H.L. Mencken

"I see my path, but I don't know where it leads. Not knowing where I'm going is what inspires me to travel it." - Rosalia de Castro

"Status quo, you know, is Latin for 'the mess we're in'. " - Ronald Reagan

"A word after a word after a word is power." - Margaret Atwood

"If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader." -John Quincy Adams

"Indecision and delays are the parents of failure." - George Cannin

"He who opens a school, closes a prison." - Victor Hugo

"Beware of undertaking too much at the start. Be content with quite a little. Allow for accidents. Allow for human nature, especially your own." - Arnold Bennett

"We may encounter many defeats but we must not be defeated." - Maya Angelou

"The single most exciting thing you encounter in government is competence, because it's so rare." - Daniel Patrick Moynihan

"Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish." - John Quincy Adams

"I must be cruel only to be kind; Thus bad begins, and worse remains behind." - William Shakespeare

"My friend shows what I can do, and my foe what I should." - Friedrich von Schiller

"I don't wait for moods. You accomplish nothing if you do that. Your mind must know it has got to get down to earth." - Pearl Buck

"I never wonder to see men wicked, but I often wonder to see them not ashamed." - Jonathan Swift

"Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childish days; that can recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth; that can transport the sailor and the traveler, thousands of miles away, back to his own fire-side and his quiet home!" - Charles Dickens

"Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind. To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas." - Calvin Coolidge

"We have within ourselves
Enough to fill the present day with joy,
And overspread the future years with hope." - William Wordsworth

"As I would not be a slave, so I would not be a master. This expresses my idea of democracy." - Abraham Lincoln

"Better hope deferred than none." - Samuel Beckett

"Life appears to me to be too short to be spent in nursing animosity or registering wrong." - Charlotte Bronte

"It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities." - J.K. Rowling

"For last year's words belong to last year's language. And next year's words await another voice. And to make an end is to make a beginning." - T.S. Eliot

Most Americans Will Say a Prayer before the Clock Strikes Midnight on New Year's Eve - -
And most Americans will stay home too. - - Teresa Neumann (December 31, 2010)

Praying A new Rasmussen Report poll reveals that a "strong majority" (66 percent) of Americans will say a prayer on New Year's Eve. And, if you are not going out to celebrate New Year's Eve, you're not alone. The poll also revealed that most Americans don't celebrate the evening outside of their home. (Photo: Wikipedia Commons)
According to a CNS News report, the survey found that "the percentage of those who plan to pray (66 percent) on New Year's Eve is larger than the respective percentage of those who are going to drink (42 percent), attend a party (21 percent), and go out for dinner with friends or family (18 percent) to celebrate the new year."
In addition, the survey found that "Black Americans are also more likely than whites to say a prayer before 2011 begins."
Mother Named Operation Rescue's 2010 Person of the Year - - Troy Newman (December 31, 2010)
"It took an amazing amount of faith for her to persevere and demand that the authorities do their jobs. Her determination amid overwhelming grief is an inspiration to us all."
(Boston, Ma.)—Operation Rescue is pleased to announce that pro-life advocate and speaker Eileen Smith has been chosen to receive the 2010 Pro-life Person of the Year Malachi Award.
Eileen and LauraMrs. Smith was thrust into the pro-life movement when her daughter, Laura Hope Smith, died during an abortion in Hyannis, Massachusetts, by Rapin Osathanondh on September 13, 2007. She immediately began reaching out for assistance from pro-life organizations, including Operation Rescue, as she began her relentless pursuit for justice on behalf of her daughter. (Photo: Eileen and Laura Hope Smith/Boston Herald)
As a result of her actions, Osathanondh was forced to permanently surrender his medical license and vow never to reapply in any state for the rest of his life. His two offices, where he conducted his abortion business, were permanently closed.

6 Girls Rescued from Forced Prostitution Thanks to Indian Rescue Mission
Jacob Philip/Asst. Correspondent in India for BCN (Dec 13, 2010)
"If God be for us, who can be against us?"
Read Full Story []
An "Ark Encounter" of a Different Kind—Creation-based Theme Park Planned for Kentucky
Aimee Herd (Dec 13, 2010)
"Bringing new jobs to Kentucky is my top priority, and with the estimated 900 jobs this project will create, I am happy about the economic impact this project will have on the Northern Kentucky region."
Read Full Story []

310 2nd Ave SE
Albany, Oregon 97321
US Orders: 1_866_358_7426
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
From the Good Clean Fun Archives

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GCF: Spy Novel

In a spy novel I had just read, the hero hid a letter in a particular statue in Washington, D.C. Since I was in that city at the time, on a whim I decided to see if the statue really contained the small niche the author had described. To my great surprise, it did -- and a cellophane-wrapped letter was inside. After a moment's hesitation, I pulled out the letter, opened it, and burst into laughter.

An unidentified reader had penned, "Good book, wasn't it?"
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: New Year's Dinner

As in many homes on New Year's Day, my wife and I faced the annual conflict of which was more important - the football games on television, or the dinner itself. To keep peace, I ate dinner with the rest of the family, and even lingered for some pleasant after-dinner conversation before retiring to the family room to turn on the game.

Several minutes later, my wife came downstairs and graciously even bought a cold drink for me. She smiled, kissed me on the cheek and asked what the score was. I told her it was the end of the third quarter and that the score was still nothing to nothing.

"See?" she said, continuing to smile, "You didn't miss a thing."
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: Capsized Boat

While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting an old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted, "Are there any gators around here?!"

"Naw," the man hollered back, "they ain't been around for years!"

"Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore. About halfway there, a thought occurred to him and he shouted to the guy on the shore, "How'd you get rid of the gators?"

"We didn't have to do nothin'. The sharks got 'em!"
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: At the Auction

Bidding at a local auction was proceeding furiously when the auctioneer suddenly announced, "A gentleman in this room has lost a wallet containing $10,000. If it is returned, he will pay a reward of $2,000."

There was a moment's silence, and then from the back of the room came the cry, "Two thousand five hundred!"
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: Fruitcake Recipe #2

(In case you read yesterday's post and want to make another fruitcake)

Items Needed:
4 Oz. Fruit Bits
4 Oz Dried Raisins
1 Railroad Tie
Wood Saw
Large Rubber Mallet
Safety Goggles

WEAR YOUR SAFETY GOGGLES. (Children: Get help from an adult!)

1. Cut a one-foot section from the middle of your railroad tie. The resulting block of wood should be the size and shape of a loaf of bread.

2. Take the fruit bits and raisins (five-year-old dried raisins are preferred) and pound them into the block with your rubber mallet. Spread the colors around, or you might wind up with an ugly fruitcake. Don't be afraid to throw some elbow grease into that mallet! Good fruit bits and dried raisins should be much harder than the railroad tie, so you can't break anything.

3. For best result, you should pretreat the fruit bits by setting them on top of your garage for a year (or by microwaving them on HIGH for 30 minutes).

4. Finally, cover it tightly in plastic wrap, and decorative paper with a lovely bow on top and give your loved ones the timeless and enduring gift of fruitcake!


(Please don't send me email about this ... my wife loves fruitcake. But then, she's fond of me, too. Hmmmm.......)
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: Airport Mistletoe

It was the beginning of December. The trip had gone reasonably well, and he was ready to go back. The airport on the other hand had turned a tacky red and green with loudspeakers blared annoying elevator renditions of cherished Christmas carols.

Being someone who took Christmas very seriously, and being slightly tired, he was not in a particularly good mood.

Going to check in his luggage, he saw hanging mistletoe. Not real mistletoe, but very cheap plastic with red paint on some of the rounder parts and green paint on some of the flatter and "pointier" parts, that could be taken for mistletoe only in a very Picasso sort of way.

With a considerable degree of irritation and nowhere else to vent it, he said to the lady attendant, "Even if I were not married, I would not want to kiss you under such a ghastly mockery of mistletoe."

"Sir, look more closely at where the mistletoe is."


"Ok, I see that it's above the luggage scale, which is the place you'd have to step forward for a kiss."

"That's not why it's there."


"Ok, I give up. Why is it there?"

"It's there so you can kiss your luggage goodbye."
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: Magnificent View

As a realtor, I deal with all types of people.
Recently, I showed a home to a couple who seemed eager to check out the magnificent View from the living room.

But when I dramatically pulled back the drapes, the disappointed husband remarked, "Where is the view? Those mountains must be blocking it."
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: Car Rental

On duty as a customer-service rep for a car-rental company, I took a call from a driver who needed a tow. He was stranded on a busy highway, but he didn't know the make of the car he was driving. I asked again for a more detailed description beyond "a blue four-door."

After a pause, the driver replied, "It's the one on fire."
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: Marriage Advice

At my granddaughter's wedding, the DJ polled the guests to see who had been married longest. It turned out to be my husband and I. The DJ asked us, "What advice would you give to the newly-married couple?"

I said, "The three most important words in a marriage are, 'You're probably right.'"

Everyone then looked at my husband. He said, "She's probably right."
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: Holiday Cookie Recipe

1. Go to the grocery store.

2. Purchase one or more tubes of ready-made cookie dough.

3. Go home.

4. Unwrap the cookie dough, carefully folding the wrapper inside-out and placing it at the bottom of your trash can. Better yet, bury it in the backyard.

5. Place cookie dough in bowl.

6. Before actually "baking," use a teaspoon and drop small amounts directly into mouth. (forget the baking sheet).

7. Chew slowly and carefully, unless doorbell rings, children awaken from nap, or husband comes home from work early.

8. Brush teeth.

9. If stomach ache develops, follow with the "pink stuff". Don't call the doctor, it's too embarrassing to explain.

10. Return to "baking" and cut off a portion of the cookie dough and smear it on a mixing bowl and spoon. Display bowl and spoon prominently so everyone can see your "work."

11. Slice cookie dough, place on cookie sheets and bake in the oven. But don't use a microwave because that won't work. I just know this ... I've never actually tried it. I mean, you'd have to be pretty silly to stick cookie dough in the microwave, only to watch it melt and run together into one giant patty which explodes in three minutes. I've never seen this happen ... I'm just supposing.

12. Place cooled cookies on a hand-crafted platter and serve to your guests.
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: Tip for the Paper Boy

Harry asked his wife: "Did your leave a tip for the boy who delivers our paper?"

His wife replied: "Yes, dear. I put some of it in the bushes, some of it on the roof, and some of it in the front yard."
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: Unable to Speak

A man who was involved in a serious accident was unable to speak when he regained consciousness. Wishing to know how long he had been unconscious, he took a piece of paper and a pencil from the bed stand, wrote "Date?" on it and gave it to his nurse.

She handed it back to him - after she had replied with the word "Married."
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: Legal Eyesight

Sam, an 80 year-old man, was a witness in a burglary trial.

The defense lawyer asked Sam, "Did you see my client commit this burglary?"

"Yes," said Sam, "I saw him plainly take the goods."

"Sam, this happened at night. Are you sure you saw my client commit this crime?"

"Yes," replied Sam, "I know I saw him do it."

"Sam listen, you are 80 years old and your eyesight is probably bad. Just how far can you see at night?"

"I can see the moon. How far is that?"
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: Listening for the Baby

At 3 AM in the morning, a young wife shook her husband awake.

Groggily he asked "What is it?"

"The baby," she reminded him.

The husband sat up and listened intently.

"But I don't hear her crying," he protested.

"I know, and it's your turn to see why not!"
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: At the Conference

During a conference, I was pleasantly surprised to be seated next to a very handsome man. We flirted casually through dinner, then grew restless as the dignitaries gave speeches. During one particularly long-winded lecture, my new friend drew a # sign on a cocktail napkin. Excited, I wrote down my phone number.

Looking startled for a moment, he flipped the napkin over and drew another # sign, this time adding an X to the upper-left- hand corner.
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: Cart Ads

My father is a skilled CPA, but is not great at self-promotion. So when an advertising company offered to put my father's business placard in the shopping carts of a supermarket, my dad jumped at the chance. Fully a year went by before we got a call that could be traced to those placards.

"Richard Larson, CPA?" the caller asked.

"That's right," my father answered. "May I help you?"

"Yes," the voice said. "One of your shopping carts is in my yard and I want you to come and get it."
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: High School Record

Back at my high school for the tenth reunion, I met my old coach, Mr. Carlier. Walking through the gym, we came upon a plaque on which I was still listed as the record holder for the longest softball throw.

Noticing my surprise, Coach Carlier said, "That record will stand forever."

I was about to make some modest disclaimer that records exist to be broken, when he added, "We stopped holding that event years ago."
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: Weather Cows

A midwest farmer was describing his lifestyle to a touring group of city folks. "One of the benefits of this profession," he explained, "is that we have built-in weather predictions."

"What do you mean by that?" asked one inquisitive visitor.

"When the cows are standing," the farmer explained, "it means no rain is likely for the next twenty-four hours. When they're lying down, it means it's going to rain."

"On our bus trip," another visitor piped in, "I saw half the herd standing and the other half lying down. What does this mean?"

The farmer flashed a smile and answered, "That means half of them are wrong."
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: Counterfeit?

"The grocer game me a phony quarter this morning. You can't trust anyone these days!"

"Let me see it."

"I can't. I used it at the drug store."
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: Lost Cell Phone

After a basketball game, the coach found a cell phone on the gym floor. He picked it up and handed it to one of the referees, saying
"Here's your phone."

"What makes you think it's mine?" the referee asked.

"Easy," the coach replied. "It says you missed 13 calls."
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: Thanksgiving Prayer

My family traditionally begins the evening meal with a prayer of thanks. When they were old enough, we began letting our children say the meal prayer. Of course at first they would ask for a pony, a new bike, etc. They soon learned the more important things which should be included in the prayer.

At Thanksgiving we had the whole family over. My nine year old wanted to say the prayer. It went like this:

"Heavenly Father, we thank Thee for the turkey, the rolls, the mashed potatoes, the red jiggly stuff, and the bread stuff even though I don't like it. We ask that You not let us choke on this food."

(Most of us nearly choked just trying not to laugh!)
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: I Am Thankful.....

...for the taxes that I pay because it means that I am employed.

...for the mess to clean after a party because it means I have been surrounded by friends.

...for the clothes that fit a little too snug because it means I have enough to eat.

...for my shadow who watches me work because it means I am out in the sunshine.

...for a lawn that needs mowing, windows that need cleaning and gutters that need fixing because it means I have a home.

...for all the complaining I hear about the government because it means we have freedom of speech.

...for the spot I find at the far end of the parking lot because it means I am capable of walking.

...for the lady behind me in church who sings off key because it means that I can hear.

...for the piles of laundry and ironing because it means I have clothes to wear.

...for weariness and aching muscles at the end of the day because it means I have been productive.

...for the alarm that goes off in the early morning hours because it means that I am alive.

...for getting too much e-mail because it lets me know I have friends who are thinking of me.
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: Airport Security Inspection

(A true story)

David, my brother-in-law, works in commercial advertising and as part of his work, he travels quite a bit. He and his camera crew were going through airport security in New Orleans a few years ago. One of the camera cases had plastic tie strips on it to prevent it from opening during the flight. The TSA inspector seemed confused by the plastic zip ties.

He looked at David and said, "I'm going to have to break these to inspect this case."

David said, "Okay."

Then the TSA inspector paused and asked, "Do you have a knife so I can cut these off?"

David had just passed through the security scanner so he said, "No. I'm not allowed to have one."

The inspector said, "Oh, yeah." And let them go without inspecting the case.
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: Personality Assessment

When we finished a personality assessment at work, I asked my friend Dan if he would share the results with his wife.

"That would require me to go home and say, 'Hi, honey. I just paid someone $400 to tell me what's wrong with me,'" he said. "And based on that, considering we've been married 23 years, she'd hand me a bill for about $798,000."
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: Albert Einstein

Albert Einstein, widely regarded as one of the most influential and best known scientists of all time, was once traveling from Princeton on a train when the conductor came down the aisle, punching the tickets of every passenger. When he came to Einstein, the famous physicist reached in his vest pocket. He couldn't find his ticket, so he reached in his trouser pockets. It wasn't there, so he looked in his briefcase but couldn't find it. Then he looked in the seat beside him. He still couldn't find it.

The conductor said, "Dr. Einstein, I know who you are. We all know who you are. I'm sure you bought a ticket. Don't worry about it."

Einstein nodded appreciatively. The conductor then continued down the aisle punching tickets. As he was ready to move to the next car, he turned around and saw the great physicist down on his hands and knees looking under his seat for his ticket.

The conductor rushed back and said, "Dr. Einstein, don't worry, I know who you are. No problem. You don't need a ticket. I'm sure you bought one."

Einstein looked at him and said, "Young man, I too know who I am. What I don't know is where I'm going."
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: Ten-Mile March

One month into Marine Corps training in San Diego, we were preparing for a ten-mile march in 100-degree weather when a jeep drove up with a large radio in the back.

"Who knows anything about radios?" our drill instructor asked.

Several hands went up, and anticipating a ride in the jeep, recruits began listing their credentials. Everything from a degree in communications to a part-time job in a repair shop was declared.

The DI listened to all the contenders, then pointed to the most qualified. "You," he barked. "Carry the radio."
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: Stage Mother

A stage mother cornered the concert violinist in his dressing room and insisted he listen to a tape of her talented son playing the violin.

The man agreed to listen and the woman switched on the tape player.

"What music!" the violinist thought. It was a difficult piece, but played with such genius that it brought tears to his eyes.

He listened spellbound to the entire recording. "Madam," he whispered, "is that your son?"

"No," she replied. "That's Itzhak Perlman. But my son sounds just like him.."
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: Water Pump

Call to an imported car parts warehouse: "I need a 28-ounce water pump."

"A what?"

"My husband says he needs a 28-ounce water pump."

"A 28-ounce water pump? What kind of car is it for?"

"It's an old Datsun, I think."

As the parts guy writes down "Datsun, 28 oz. water pump" the light in his head goes on. "Oh yes ma'am. We've got 28-ounce water pumps. We have 24-ounce and 26-ounce water pumps too."

"Finally! You're the first place I've called that knew what I was talking about."

"Yes ma'am. That's because we're a full-service parts warehouse; it's our job to have the parts you need, like a 28-ounce water pump."

The parts guy jots down on his order form, "Customer pick-up: Datsun 280Z water pump."
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: Army Nurse Training

During basic training for the Army Nurse Corps, we were required to spend one week in the field roughing it. It rained the entire week. We arose daily in our swampy tent, took a cold-water beauty bath from our helmets, donned our pistol belts and ponchos, and trudged through the mud to set up field hospitals. Obviously, our personal appearance frequently left much to be desired.

The final blow to our feminine pride occurred while we waited in the mess line in the mud and rain. A young private came by with a camera and asked to take our picture. "It will prove to my girlfriend," he said, "that she has NO reason to be jealous!"
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: Wedding Vows

"How did the wedding go?" asked the preacher's wife.

"Just fine until I got to the part where I asked the bride if she would obey and she said, 'Do you think I'm nuts?' and the groom said, 'I do,' and then things really began to happen fast."
_ ____________________________ _
\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / The best classroom in the \ /
\ _/ world is at the feet \_ /
/ / of an elderly person. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / \ /
\ _/When the going gets tough, upgrade.\_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / When you get to the point \ /
\ _/ where you really understand \_ /
/ / your computer, it's probably obsolete.\ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Money can't buy happiness, \ /
\ _/ but it can buy ice cream, \_ /
/ / and that's close enough. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / There is no snooze button \ /
\ _/ on a cat who wants breakfast. \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / No sense being pessimistic. \ /
\ _/ It wouldn't work anyway. \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / "You can observe a lot \ /
\ _/ just by watching." \_ /
/ / - Yogi Berra \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / "Nobody believes the official \ /
\ _/ spokesperson, but everybody \_ /
/ / trusts an unidentified source." \ \
-Ron Nesen
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Things are going real bad \ /
\ _/ for me. This morning I picked up \_ /
/ / my dentures and found a cavity. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / God gives every bird its food, \ /
\ _/ but He does not throw \_ /
/ / it into the nest. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / When did my wild oats \ /
\ _/ turn to prunes and All Bran? \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / I started out with nothing. \ /
\ _/ I still have most of it. \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / \ /
\ _/ "Procrastinate Now" \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / If you put the federal \ \_/ ////
\ / government in charge of the \ /
\ _/ Sahara Desert, in five years \_ /
/ / there'd be a shortage of sand. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Misers aren't much fun \ /
\ _/ to live with, but they \_ /
/ / make great ancestors. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / \ /
\ _/ I've taken a vow of poverty. \_ /
/ / To annoy me, send money. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Forget the health food. \ /
\ _/ I need all the \_ /
/ / preservatives I can get. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / \ /
\ _/ Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ /I thought I wanted a career, but \ /
\ _/ turns out I just wanted paychecks.\_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / I like Star Trek but any \ \_/ ////
\ / depiction of the future that \ /
\ _/ does not include duct tape is \_ /
/ / too far-fetched to believe. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Duct tape every coastline \ /
\ _/ in the world and put an end to \_ /
/ / that annoying continental drift. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Duct tape every coastline \ /
\ _/ in the world and put an end to \_ /
/ / that annoying continental drift. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / I am reading a very \ \_/ ////
\ / interesting book about \ /
\ _/ anti-gravity. \_ /
/ / I just can't put it down. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / An intellectual is someone \ \_/ ////
\ / who can listen to the "William \ /
\ _/ Tell Overture" without thinking \_ /
/ / of the Lone Ranger. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Red meat is NOT bad for you. \ /
\ _/ Now blue-green meat, \_ /
/ / THAT'S bad for you! \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Birthdays are good for you: \ /
\ _/ the more you have \_ /
/ / the longer you live. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / They say that we should \ /
\ _/ all pay our taxes with a smile. \_ /
/ / I tried that but they wanted cash. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / The Government that robs \ \_/ ////
\ / Peter to pay Paul, can always \ /
\ _/ depend upon the support of Paul. \_ /
/ / - George Bernard Shaw \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / A taxpayer is someone who \ \_/ ////
\ /works for the federal government \ /
\ _/ but who doesn't have to take a \_ /
/ / civil service examination. \ \
- Ronald Reagan
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / An elected official is one \ \_/ ////
\ / who gets 51 % of the vote \ /
\ _/ cast by 40 % of the 60 % \_ /
/ / of the voters who registered. \ \
_ ____________________________ _
/ )| Thomas S. Ellsworth |( \
/ / | | \ \
_( (_ || _) )_
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_| ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
It's late fall and the Indians on a remote reservation in South Dakota asked their new chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild.

Since he was a chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky, he couldn't tell what the winter was going to be like.

Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he told his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect firewood to be prepared.

But, being a practical leader, after several days, he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, 'Is the coming winter going to be cold?'

'It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold,' the meteorologist at the weather service responded.

So the chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more firewood in order to be prepared.

A week later, he called the National Weather Service again. 'Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?'

'Yes,' the man at National Weather Service again replied, 'it's going to be a very cold winter.'

The chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of firewood they could find.

Two weeks later, the chief called the National Weather Service again. 'Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?'

'Absolutely,' the man replied. 'It's looking more and more like it is going to be one of the coldest winters we've ever seen.'

'How can you be so sure?' the chief asked.

The weatherman replied, 'The Indians are collecting a boatload of firewood'

Thanks To Ron Huett
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Diary of a Demented Snow Shoveler

December 8 6:00 PM

It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!

December 9 - - We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the whole world? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had! Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life!

December 12 - - The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment! My neighbor tells me not to worry- we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor.

December 14 - - Snow, lovely snow! 8 inches last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so.

December 15 - - 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.

December 16 - - Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.

December 17 - - Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had topile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own livingroom.

December 20 - - Electricity is back on, but had another 14 inches of the damn stuff last night. More shoveling! Took all day. The damn snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.

December 22 - - Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white shit fell today, and it's so cold, it probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to piss. By the time I got undressed, pissed and dressed again. I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter, but he says he's too busy. I think the asshole is lying.

December 23 - - Only 2 inches of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she, nuts?!! Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think she's lying.

December 24 - - 6 inches - Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a bitch who drives that snow plow, I'll drag him through the snow by his balls and beat him to death with my broken shovel. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was too busy watching for the damn snowplow.

December 25 - - Merry Christmas! 20 more inches of the damn slop tonight - Snowed in The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God, I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's a fricking idiot. If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to stuff her into the microwave.

December 26 - - Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all
HER idea She's really getting on my nerves.

December 27 - - Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze; plumber came after 14 hours
of waiting for him, he only charged me $1,400 to replace all my pipes.

December 28 - - Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. The BITCH is driving me crazy!!!

December 29 - - 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?

December 30 - - Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver, and now he is suing me for a million dollars, not only for the beating I gave him, but also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his ass. The wife went home to her mother.
Nine more inches predicted.

December 31 - - I set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.

January 8 - - Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why
am I tied to the bed?

Thanks to Ron Huett
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A seal goes into a bar and sits down. The bartender comes over and says "what'll you have bub?"
The seal replies "anything but a Canadian Club."
A tough, "biker looking" guy, carrying a pair of jumper cables, went into a bar and sat down.
Everyone in the bar tensed up.
The bartender hesitantly walked over and said "Please, don't start anything!"
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Johann Strauss was an avid mountain climber who once waltzed himself into deep trouble. He lost his footing and found himself hanging by his fingertips over a bottomless gorge. Another climber heroically came to his rescue and just managed to grab Johann by a strap of his liederhosen to save the Maestro's life.
Since then, the act of trying to get out of a seemingly hopeless situation has come to be known as ...
grasping at Strauss. :0)
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A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102. Already there is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old. The new man looks at the old-timer inquiringly. The old-timer says, "Look at me. I'm old and worn out. You'd never believe that I used to live the life of Riley. I wintered on the Riviera, had a boat, four fine cars, and the most beautiful women, and I ate in all the best restaurants of France."
The new man asked, "What happened?"
"One day Riley reported his credit cards missing!"
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A Bad Dream?

Jemima was taking an afternoon nap on New Year's Eve before the festivities. After she woke up, she confided to Max, her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a diamond ring for a New Year's present. What do you think it all means?"

"Aha, you'll know tonight," answered Max smiling broadly.

At midnight, as the New Year was chiming, Max approached Jemima and handed her small package. Delighted and excited, she opened it quickly. There in her hand rested a book titled: "The Meaning of Dreams."

Received from George.


Computer Crashed

The computer in my high school classroom recently started acting up. After watching me struggle with it, one of my students came up and took over.

"Your hard drive crashed," he said.

I called the computer services office and explained, "My computer is down. The hard drive crashed."

"We can't just send people down on your say-so. How do you know that's the problem?"

"A student told me," I answered.

"We'll send someone over right away."

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.


The Camel Joke

A guy is walking along a road to town with his camel. Along the way, a driver stops and asks if he needs a ride to town. The guy says, "Yeah," and hops in.

The driver asks, "What about your camel?"

The guy replies, "Oh, he's okay -- he knows his way to town."

So the driver starts driving, gets up to about 45 mph, looks in his rear view mirror, and sees the camel right behind him. He says to the guy, "Hey buddy, ya know your camel is behind us?"

The guy replies, "Yeah, it's okay -- he knows his way to town. Speed up a little."

The driver speeds up to about 55 mph. He's driving along and looks behind him and again sees the camel. He says to the guy, "Your camel is still there."

The guy replies, "Really, it's okay -- he knows his way to town. Speed up a little."

So the driver speeds up to 65 mph. He drives for a bit, looks behind him, then looks at the guy and says, "Hey buddy, your camel is looking pretty rough."

The guy replies, "Oh yeah? What's he doing?"

The driver says, "Well, his ears are folded back and his tongue is hanging out."

The guy replies, "His tongue is hanging out? Which side?"

The driver says, "The left side."

The guy replies, "You'd better hold your course -- he's fixin' to pass ya!"

Received from ArcaMax Jokes.


Difference Between Dogs and Cats

A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me ... they must be gods!

A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me ... I must be a god!

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.


Speeding Juggler

A young man was pulled over by the Mississippi State Police for speeding. The officer stepped out of his patrol car, adjusted his sunglasses, and swaggered up to the young man's window. "What chew driving so fast for, boy? You going to a fahhr? Let me see your license, boy." The young man handed over his license.

Then the officer noticed that the back seat of the car was full of large knives. The officer said, "Tell me, boy, why you got them knives on that there back seat?"

The young man replied, "Well, sir, I'm a juggler."

The officer spat some tobacco juice and then said, "A juggler; well, you don't say. Boy, put cha hands on the trunk of yer car; you going to jail!"

The young man pleaded with the officer not to take him to jail. He offered to prove to the officer that he was a juggler by way of demonstration. He said, "You can even hold me at gunpoint while I juggle for you." The officer reluctantly allowed him to prove his juggling ability while he held him at gunpoint.

Two miles down the road at Joe's Tavern, Billy Bub was drinking it up with Jerry Lee Jones. Billy Bub soon left and got into his old, rusty pickup truck. He proceeded down the road trying his best to stay on the right side. All of a sudden, Billy Bub spotted the most unbelievable sight of his life! He drove to the nearest phone booth and dialed the number for Joe's Tavern and asked for his buddy, Jerry Lee.

When Jerry Lee got on the phone, Billy Bub said, "Whatever you do when you leave that tavern, don't go north on Route 109. The state police are giving a sobriety test that nobody can pass!"

Received from ArcaMax Jokes.


Hanging a Wreath at Christmas

Since I have come to know God's love
I'll think a little more
When hanging up the festive wreath
Of holly on my door.

I see in it a crown of thorns
Placed on my Savior's brow
That I may have the gift of life;
What meaning it has now!

The thorns are there--so needle sharp;
The berries, too, are red
Not too unlike the precious blood
That on the cross was shed.

I'll hang with prayer this holly wreath
For all the world to see;
Perchance, the lonely passerby
Will feel God's love through me.

Within our homes, let there be love
"And peace on earth to men,"
As we remember in our hearts
The Babe of Bethlehem.

Received from Scott Neville.


A Redneck Christmas

You know you're a redneck if...

You do all of your Christmas shopping at a truck stop!

Your mother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.

Redman Chewing Tobacco sends you a Christmas card.

The neighbors started a petition over your Christmas lights.

Your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.

Your father executes the "pull my finger" trick during Christmas dinner.

You save old appliances for Christmas presents.

You shop for gifts at garage sales.

You're serving your turkey on an old hubcap.

You shoot a turkey the day before Christmas.

All your silverware is plastic.

You're splurging on the HUNGRY MAN turkey TV dinners.

Thank you, Jeff Foxworthy!



"You can always tell the Christmas season is here when you start getting incredibly dense, tinfoil-and-ribbon-wrapped lumps in the mail. Fruitcakes make ideal gifts because the Postal Service has been unable to find a way to damage them. They last forever, largely because nobody ever eats them." - Dave Barry, "Simple, Homespun Gifts"

Received from LaughALot.


'Twas the Night Before the Morning After

By Dave Barry, The Miami Herald, December 1, 1996 (Edited by GCFL)

'Twas the night before Christmas

Or Hanukkah or Kwanzaa or whatever religious holiday your particular family unit celebrates at this time of year via mass retail purchases

And all through the house

Not a creature was stirring

Except Dad, who was stirring his third martini

In a losing effort to remain in a holiday mood

As he attempted to assemble a toy for his 9-year-old son, Bobby

It was a highly complex toy

A toy that Dad did not even begin to grasp the purpose of

A toy that cost more than Dad's first car

A toy that was advertised relentlessly on TV with a little statement in the corner of the TV screen that said "SOME ASSEMBLY REQUIRED"

Which was like saying that the Titanic sustained "some water damage"

Because this toy had more parts than the Space Shuttle

And speaking of space

Dad was now convinced that extraterrestrial life did indeed exist

Because the assembly instructions were clearly written by beings from another galaxy

And these beings insisted on Phillips screwdrivers

And Dad could not find his Phillips screwdriver

In fact, he was wondering who "Phillips" was

And why he needed a different kind of screwdriver than everybody else

That was the festive holiday thought that Dad was thinking as he took a slug from his martini and attempted to attach Part 3047-b to Part 3047-c

Using a steak knife

But other than that, not a creature was stirring in the house

Although Mom was definitely stirring OUT of the house

Mom was at the Toys "R" Us store

In fact, this was the fifth Toys "R" Us store that Mom had been to that night

In her desperate quest to find the one thing that their 5-year-old daughter, Suzy, wanted this holiday season

It was, of course, a Barbie doll

But not just ANY Barbie doll

It had to be the new model

Abdominals Barbie

The one who came with her own little pink stomach-muscle-exercise device

It was the hottest Barbie doll of all this holiday season

Every girl age 3 through 12 in the entire United States HAD to have it

Or her holiday season would be RUINED

And so of course the Mattel Corporation

Which is run by evil trolls from Hades

Had manufactured exactly eight units of this doll

And the very last one in the world was in this particular Toys "R" Us

Which means that the odds were against Mom

Because on this same festive night

Thousands of other frantic parents had converged on this same store

Kind of like the flesh-eating zombies in the movie Night of the Living Dead

Only less ethical

The store was a war zone

Mom had to fight her way into the doll aisle

Where, wielding a Tonka Truck like a club

She claimed her prize

And then, trailed by a screaming mob of rival parents

She raced from the store, leaped into her car, and roared out of the parking lot

Barely missing the Salvation Army person

She raced back to the house, burst through the front door, and staggered into the family room

Where she found Dad

Actually she found Dad's feet

The rest of Dad was under the sofa

A strange gurgling sound was coming from down there

Dad, now on his fifth martini

Was trying to strangle the dog

Which, Dad was convinced, had eaten Part 8675-y

And just at that very moment

Out on the lawn there arose such a clatter

That Dad let go of the dog

And he and Mom went to the window to see what was the matter

And what to their wondering eyes should appear

But Santa Claus, yelling the names of reindeer

"Now Dasher! Now, Dancer! Now, Vixen! Now ... Umm ... Now ... Dancer!"

"He already said Dancer," observed Dad

"He can't remember them all," said Mom

"I think one of them is Pluto," said Dad

"Wasn't Pluto the guy who was always fighting with Popeye?" said Mom

"You're thinking of Bluto," said Dad

"Now ... Umm ... Now Flicka!" said Santa

"Flicka was a horse, that I DO know," said Mom

"Do you think the reindeer are wrecking the lawn?" said Dad

"They're going up on the roof," said Mom

"Like heck they are," said Dad, who had recently spent $875 on shingle repair

But before he could yell at St. Nicholas to stop

Down the chimney the jolly elf came with a plop

He had a broad face and a round little belly

That shook when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly

Which was pretty gross

"What's so funny?" asked Dad

"You two," said St. Nick. "Why are you getting all upset about toys? The holiday season isn't about material possessions!"

"Do you have kids?" asked Mom

"Well, no," said Santa

"Hah," said Mom

"But I am beloved by children the world over," said Santa

"Well," said Dad, "you won't be beloved by our son if I can't assemble this toy"

"What seems to be the problem?" said Santa, coming over to have a look

"I'm stuck on Step 824," said Dad

"Who wrote these instructions?" asked Santa. "Martians?"

"Apparently," said Dad

"I used to be pretty good with tools," said Santa. "Hand me that steak knife"

"Sure," said Dad. "Care for a martini?"

"Heck yes," said Santa

And so he went to work

And after a while Mom and Dad, exhausted, went to bed

Leaving old St. Nick in the family room

He said some pretty unsaintly words

But he eventually got Bobby's toy assembled

And although he spent so much time that he was unable to visit the rest of the little boys and girls in North America

Not to mention South America, Europe, Asia, and Africa

This particular household had a very happy Christmas morning indeed

When Suzy came downstairs and saw Abdominals Barbie

And Bobby came downstairs and saw his incredibly complex toy

Which he broke in under four minutes

A new holiday record

But it was still a festive day

Especially when Mom and Dad told the fantastic story of their late-night visitor

Which, at first, the kids did not believe

In fact, even Mom and Dad were not 100 percent sure it had happened

Until Dad got out the ladder

And one by one they climbed up to the roof

And there they saw it ...

As real as life ...

A Holiday Miracle ...

Reindeer poop.

(And $1,097.36 worth of shingle damage.)

Received from Keith Sullivan.


Silent Night?

Little Johnny ran up to his uncle's chair. "Uncle, tell me again - what do you want for Christmas?"

The uncle smiled and repeated, "I just want some peace and quiet."

Johnny's face drooped a bit as he replied, "I know, but I just came back from the mall and they're out of it!"

Received from Laugh-A-Lot.


Circle Flies

A farmer got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding, and the trooper started to lecture the farmer about his speed, and in general began to throw his weight around to try to make the farmer uncomfortable.

Finally, the trooper got around to writing out the ticket. As he was doing that, he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around his head. The farmer said, "Having some problems with circle flies there, are ya?"

The trooper stopped writing the ticket and said, "Well, yeah, if that's what they are called -- I never heard of circle flies."

So the farmer said, "Well, circle flies are common on farms. See, they're called circle flies because they're almost always found circling around the back end of a horse."

The trooper said, "Oh," and went back to writing the ticket. Then after a minute he stopped and said, "Hey, wait a minute -- are you trying to call me a horse's rear end?"

The farmer said, "Oh no, officer. I have too much respect for law enforcement to even think about calling you such a name."

The trooper said, "Well, that's a good thing," and went back to writing the ticket.

After a long pause, the farmer said, "Hard to fool them flies, though."

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.


Absent-Minded Professor

One of the world's greatest scientists was also recognized as the original absent-minded professor. One day, on board a train, he was unable to find his ticket. The conductor said, "Take it easy. You'll find it."

When the conductor returned, the professor still couldn't find the ticket. The conductor, recognizing the famous scientist, said, "I'm sure you bought a ticket. Forget about it."

"You're very kind," the professor said, "but I must find it. Otherwise, I won't know where to get off."

Received from ArcaMax Jokes.


Giant Plastic Santas

We were driving through our town looking at all of the Christmas decorations. My wife was commenting about one of her pet peeves -- ugly, tacky, giant plastic lighted lawn ornaments. "Giant plastic Santas! Giant plastic snowmen! Giant plastic reindeer! But what I really don't understand are giant plastic candles!"

I told her, "Perhaps we should put up a statue of E.I. duPont in protest."

Her: "Why?"

Me: "A giant plastic plastics giant."

Received from John E. Norlin.


Southern Sayings

He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.

She's so stuck up, she'd drown in a rainstorm.

It's so dry, the trees are bribing the dogs.

He's as country as cornflakes.

This is gooder'n grits.

If things get any better, I may have to hire someone to help me enjoy it.

Received from FranCMT2.


Changing Times

I have five siblings, three sisters and two brothers. One night I was chatting with my mom about how she had changed as a mother from the first child to the last. She told me she had mellowed a lot over the years:

"When your oldest sister coughed or sneezed, I called the ambulance. When your youngest brother swallowed a dime, I just told him it was coming out of his allowance."

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.


Baby Games

When my wife quit work to take care of our new baby daughter, countless hours of peekaboo and other games slowly took their toll.

One evening she smacked her bare toes on the corner of a dresser and, grabbing her foot, sank to the floor. I rushed to her side and asked where it hurt. She looked at me through tear-filled eyes and managed to moan, "It's the piggy that ate roast beef."

Received from Andychap.


Groaner: William Tell

It seems that William Tell, aside from being involved in such exploits as escaping across Lake Lucerne and being able to shoot an apple off his kid's head with an arrow, was also one MEAN bowler. In fact, he was so good that on occasion he was contracted out to secretly take the place of certain other bowlers in the leagues when large bets were on. The economic situation being what it was, Mr. Tell didn't mind a little money on the side.

It turns out that there was one particular Swiss nobleman who was an unusually poor bowler, and this gentleman made use of Mr. Tell's services in league matches quite often. Finally, Tell more or less took this man's place in the league, no one being the wiser, and both men became quite wealthy as a result.

Much later, in the 1930s, Ernest Hemingway was doing some literary research in Bern when he more or less accidentally came across the diaries of this nobleman, which included a detailed account of the hitherto undiscovered arrangement between himself and Mr. Tell. So fascinated was Hemingway with this man who had had such an effect on Tell's life that he immediately began working on a book about the nobleman. The book became a literary classic, selling millions of copies. The title, of course, was ... "For Whom the Tell Bowls."

Received from Stan Kegel.


Parking Meter

On a visit to Boston, I noticed a parking meter with a paper sack over it upon which was written: "Broken."

A skeptical parking officer removed the bag, inserted a quarter in the meter and turned the dial. It worked perfectly. As the officer began to write a parking ticket, the car's owner rushed out of a nearby building.

"What are you doing?" he yelled after a quick glance at the meter. "There's plenty of time left!"

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.


Snowed In

Ole and Lena were sitting down to their usual cup of morning coffee, listening to the weather report coming over the radio. "There will be 3 to 5 inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the odd-numbered side of the streets." Ole got up from his coffee and replied, "Jeez, OK."

Two days later, again they were both sitting down with their cups of morning coffee and heard the weather forecast: "There will be 2 to 4 inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the even-numbered side of the streets." Ole got up from his coffee and replied, "Jeez, OK."

Three days later, they both were once again sitting down with their cups of coffee and the weather forecast was, "There will be 6 to 8 inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the..." and then the power went out so Ole didn't get the rest of the instructions. He said to Lena, "Jeez, what am I going to do now, Lena?"

Lena replied, "Aw, Ole, yust leave the car in the garage."

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.



While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting an old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted, "Are there any gators around here?"

"Naw," the man hollered back, "they ain't been around for years!"

Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore. When he was almost there, he asked the guy, "How'd you get rid of the gators?"

"We didn't do nothin'," the beachcomber said. "The sharks got 'em."

Received from Doc's Daily Chuckle.


Groaner: The Mountain Climber

Johann Strauss was an avid mountain climber who once waltzed himself into deep trouble. He lost his footing and found himself hanging by his fingertips over a bottomless gorge. Another climber heroically came to his rescue and just managed to grab Johann by a strap of his liederhosen to save the Maestro's life.

Since then, the act of trying to get out of a seemingly hopeless situation has come to be known as grasping at Strauss.

(Dave Coble)

Received from Stan Kegel.

(_:][:_) Jury Exemption

Just as she was celebrating her 80th birthday, our friend received a jury-duty notice. She called to remind the people at the clerk's office that she was exempt because of her age.

"You need to come in and fill out the exemption forms," they said.

"I've already done that," she replied. "I did it last year."

"You have to do it every year," she was told.

"Why?" came the response. "Do you think I'm going to get younger?"

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.


Life of Riley

A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102. Already there is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old. The new man looks at the old-timer inquiringly. The old-timer says, "Look at me. I'm old and worn out. You'd never believe that I used to live the life of Riley. I wintered on the Riviera, had a boat, four fine cars, and the most beautiful women, and I ate in all the best restaurants of France."

The new man asked, "What happened?"

"One day Riley reported his credit cards missing!"

Received from Big Mac Clean Joke Attack.


Midterm Exam

The professor of a graduate-school class included a huge amount of material on the midterm exam. As tension in the room built, people were sighing and gasping aloud.

The following week the professor tossed the graded papers on her desk and announced, "Class, after I left here last week, the Lord spoke to me. He said, 'Thanks, professor. I haven't heard from some of those people in years!'"

Received from Laugh & Lift.


Job Application

An applicant was filling out a job application. When he came to the question, "Have you ever been arrested?" he wrote, "No."

The next question, intended for people who had answered in the affirmative to the previous question, was "Why?"

The applicant answered it anyway: "Never got caught."

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.


Groaner: Dumped

A man just got dumped by his girlfriend.

He was telling several friends about how it happened and said, "When I was talking to her on the phone, she told me something about meeting a man in Germany. This man owns a sheep farm and is very, very rich."

Then one of the friends asked, "You mean she dumped you for a German shepherd?"

Received from Stan Kegel.


How to Bathe the Cat

1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.

2. Lift both lids and add shampoo.

3. Find and soothe cat as you carry him/her to the bathroom.

4. In one swift move, place cat in toilet, close both lids, and stand on top so cat cannot escape.

5. The cat will self agitate and produce ample suds (ignore ruckus from inside toilet; cat is actually enjoying this).

6. Flush toilet 3 or 4 times. This provides power rinse, which is quite effective.

7. Have someone open outside door; stand as far from toilet as possible, and quickly lift both lids.

8. Clean cat will rocket out of the toilet and go outdoors where its hair will self-dry.


The Dog

Received from RevTonyAG.


Old Sea Story

There's an old sea story in the Navy about a ship's captain who inspected his sailors and afterward told the chief boatswain that his men smelled bad. The captain suggested perhaps it would help if the sailors would change underwear occasionally.

The chief responded, "Aye, aye, sir, I'll see to it immediately!"

The chief went straight to the sailors' berth deck and announced, "The captain thinks you guys smell bad and wants you to change your underwear." He continued, "Pittman, you change with Jones; McCarthy, you change with Witkowski; and Brown, you change with Schultz. Now GET TO IT!"


Someone may come along and promise "Change," but don't count on things smelling any better.

Received from Jan H..


Is This Seat Taken?

When the usher noticed a man stretched across three seats in the theater, he walked over and whispered, "Sorry, sir, but you are allowed only one seat."

The man moaned but didn't budge.

"Sir, if you don't move, I'll have to call the manager," said the usher more loudly. The man moaned again but stayed where he was.

The usher left and returned with the manager, who, after several attempts at dislodging the fellow, called the police.

The cop looked at the reclining man and said, "All right, what's your name, joker?"

"Joe," he mumbled.

"And where are you from, Joe?"

"The balcony."

Received from Joke du Jour.


Gallagher's Obituary

Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend Finney.

"Did you see the paper?" asked Gallagher. "They say I died!"

"Yes, I saw it!" replied Finney. "Where are you callin' from?"

Received from Doc's Daily Chuckle.


Groaner: A Math Problem

The problem: There's a box with a hole at each end, and there's a rabbit in the box. The rabbit sticks his head out of the hole in one end, and a minute later he sticks it out the other end. Half a minute later, his head appears at the opposite end, a fourth of a minute later it appears at the end opposite to that one, an eighth of a minute later, etc., etc. How long will it take before the rabbit sticks its head out of both ends of the box at the same time?

In theory, two minutes.

In practice, no answer is possible unless you split hares.

Received from Stan Kegel.


Concept Is Lost.....

When the company I worked for had an employee-suggestion competition, I told my staff to submit entries that would save money for the firm.

The winner was a man in my department who suggested we post corporate memos on bulletin boards instead of printing 200 individual copies for distribution. He got a helium balloon with the company logo and one share of stock.

A memo announcing the prize went out to 200 people.

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.


Famous Last Words

Well, we're the next best thing to a bank.

It's OK to format this disk.

I bet I can fit in there.

Just tell them you're a friend of mine.

Hey ya'll, watch this!

No, honey, I'm sure I locked the door!

Here goes nothing!

Ha, that's just a story they made up to scare the kids.

I'm all right; it's just a minor cut.

Last one, I promise.

Received from Ed.


Rate this funny at
Brought to you by The Good, Clean Funnies List A cheerful heart is good medicine... (Prov 17:22a) Mail address: GCFL, Box 100, Harvest, AL 35749, USA
To print or email this funny to others, go to
The latest GCFL funny can always be found on the web at
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Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Column - -

Vive Vuvuzelas? Please, No!

I’m not exactly a sports aficionado. But I’m guessing it’s safe to presume that most games are expected to be noisy.

Apparently, though, South African soccer fans take such noise to a new ear-piercing level, enthusiastically blowing vuvuzelas in the stadiums. What’s a vuvuzela? Well, I know from oboes, but not from vuvuzelas. However, I’ve just learned they’re cacophonous, droning, deafening horns (blown like a brass instrument) that are driving TV World Cup viewers insane.

Vive Vuvuzelas? Please, No! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Attempting to watch World Cup soccer?
Then you’re likely to go off your rocker:
Vuvuzelas abound
With their loud, droning sound.
They are deafening. Help! Need a blocker!

© Madeleine Begun Kane. All Rights Reserved.
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Seems a guy gets pulled over by a local policeman. Guy hands the cop his driver's license, insurance verification, plus his concealed carry permit.
"Okay, Mr. Smith," the cop says, "I see your CCW permit. Are you carrying today?"
"Yes, I am."
"Well then, better tell me what you got."
Smith says, "Well, I got a .357 revolver in my inside coat pocket. There's a 9mm semi-auto in the glove box. And, I've got a .22 magnum derringer in my right boot."
"Okay," the cop says. "Anything else?"
"Yeah, back in the trunk, there's an AR15 and a shotgun. That's about it."
"Mr. Smith, are you on your way to or from a gun range...?"
"Well then, what are you afraid of...?"

"Not a dang thing..."

Thanks to Billy Smith
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Tonight's joke has been sent. This extra posting is not humor but is a story that I like. File it under "inspirational" ... Even if you don't celebrate Christmas, the story is one that demonstrates the simple goodness that should be a part of all our lives, wherever we live and whatever faith we observe.

This was sent to me by Nancy (When I give a source, I only identify people by first name, so Nancy, you know who you are and I thank you for sharing this charming tale).

If this was forwarded to you, please consider your own subscription to Good Clean Fun. It's free! Just send an email to:
The Folded Napkin - A Truck Stop Story.

I try not to be biased, but I had my doubts about hiring Stevie. His placement counselor assured me that he would be a good, reliable busboy. But I had never had a mentally handicapped employee and wasn't sure I wanted one. I wasn't sure how my customers would react to Stevie.

He was short, a little dumpy with the smooth facial features and thick-tongued speech of Downs Syndrome. I wasn't worried about most of my trucker customers because truckers don't generally care who buses tables as long as the meatloaf platter is good and the pies are homemade.

The ones who concerned me were the mouthy college kids traveling to school; the yuppie snobs who secretly polish their silverware with their napkins for fear of catching some dreaded 'truck stop germ'; the pairs of white-shirted business men on expense accounts who think every truck stop waitress wants to be flirted with. I knew those people would be uncomfortable around Stevie so I closely watched him for the first few weeks.

I shouldn't have worried. After the first week, Stevie had my staff wrapped around his stubby little finger, and within a month my truck regulars had adopted him as their official truck stop mascot.

After that, I really didn't care what the rest of the customers thought of him. He was like a 21-year-old in blue jeans and Nikes, eager to laugh and eager to please, but fierce in his attention to his duties. Every salt and pepper shaker was exactly in its place, not a breadcrumb or coffee spill was visible when Stevie got done with the table.

Our only problem was persuading him to wait to clean a table until after the customers were finished. He would hover in the background, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, scanning the dining room until a table was empty. Then he would scurry to the empty table and carefully bus dishes and glasses onto his cart and meticulously wipe the table up with a practiced flourish of his rag.

If he thought a customer was watching, his brow would pucker with added concentration. He took pride in doing his job exactly right, and you had to love how hard he tried to please each and every person he met.

Over time, we learned that he lived with his mother, a widow who was disabled after repeated surgeries for cancer. They lived on their Social Security benefits in public housing two miles from the truck stop. Their social worker, who stopped in to check on him every so often, admitted they had fallen between the cracks. Money was tight, and what I paid him was probably the difference between them being able to live together and Stevie being sent to a group home. That's why the restaurant was a gloomy place that morning last August, the first morning in three years that Stevie missed work.

He was at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester getting a new valve or something put in his heart. His social worker said that people with Downs Syndrome often have heart problems at an early age so this wasn't unexpected, and there was a good chance he would come through the surgery in good shape and be back at work in a few months.

A ripple of excitement ran through the staff later that morning when word came that he was out of surgery, in recovery, and doing fine.

Frannie, the head waitress, let out a war hoop and did a little dance in the aisle when she heard the good news.

Bell Ringer, one of our regular trucker customers, stared at the sight of this 50-year-old grandmother of four doing a victory shimmy beside his table.

Frannie blushed, smoothed her apron and shot Bell Ringer a withering look.

He grinned. "OK, Frannie , what was that all about?" he asked.

"We just got word that Stevie is out of surgery and going to be okay."

"I was wondering where he was. I had a new joke to tell him. What was the surgery about?"

Frannie quickly told Bell Ringer and the other two drivers sitting at his booth about Stevie's surgery then sighed: "Yeah, I'm glad he is going to be OK," she said. "But I don't know how he and his Mom are going to handle all the bills. From what I hear, they're barely getting by as it is." Bell Ringer nodded thoughtfully, and Frannie hurried off to wait on the rest of her tables. Since I hadn't had time to round up a busboy to replace Stevie and really didn't want to replace him, the girls were busing their own tables that day until we decided what to do.

After the morning rush, Frannie walked into my office. She had a couple of paper napkins in her hand and a funny look on her face.

"What's up?" I asked.

"I didn't get that table where Bell Ringer and his friends were sitting cleared off after they left, and Pony Pete and Tony Tipper were sitting there when I got back to clean it off," she said. "This was folded and tucked under a coffee cup."

She handed the napkin to me, and three $20 bills fell onto my desk when I opened it. On the outside, in big, bold letters, was printed "Something For Stevie".

"Pony Pete asked me what that was all about," she said, "so I told him about Stevie and his Mom and everything, and Pete looked at Tony and Tony looked at Pete, and they ended up giving me this."

She handed me another paper napkin that had "Something For Stevie" scrawled on its outside. Two $50 bills were tucked within its folds. Frannie looked at me with wet, shiny eyes, shook her head and said simply: "Truckers!!"

That was three months ago. Today is December 10th, the first day Stevie is supposed to be back to work.

His placement worker said he's been counting the days until the doctor said he could work, and it didn't matter at all that it was a holiday. He called ten times in the past week, making sure we knew he was coming, fearful that we had forgotten him or that his job was in jeopardy.

I arranged to have his mother bring him to work. I then met them in the parking lot and invited them both to celebrate his day back.

Stevie was thinner and paler, but couldn't stop grinning as he pushed through the doors and headed for the back room where his apron and busing cart were waiting.

"Hold up there, Stevie, not so fast," I said. I took him and his mother by their arms. "Work can wait for a minute. To celebrate you coming back, breakfast for you and your mother is on me!"

I led them toward a large corner booth at the rear of the room.

I could feel and hear the rest of the staff following behind as we marched through the dining room. Glancing over my shoulder, I saw booth after booth of grinning truckers empty and join the procession. We stopped in front of the big table. Its surface was covered with coffee cups, saucers and dinner plates, all sitting slightly crooked on dozens of folded paper napkins. "First thing you have to do, Stevie, is clean up this mess," I said. I tried to sound stern.

Stevie looked at me, and then at his mother, then pulled out one of the napkins. It had "Something for Stevie" printed on the outside. As he picked it up, two $10 bills fell onto the table.

Stevie stared at the money, then at all the napkins peeking from beneath the tableware, each with his name printed or scrawled on it. I turned to his mother. "There's more than $10,000 in cash and checks on that table, all from truckers and trucking companies that heard about your problems. Merry Christmas."

Well, it got real noisy about that time, with everybody hollering and shouting, and there were a few tears, as well.

But you know what's funny? While everybody else was busy shaking hands and hugging each other, Stevie, with a big, big smile on his face, was busy clearing all the cups and dishes from the table ...
Best worker I ever hired.
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GCF: A Soldier's Night Before Christmas

The email for tonight has been sent and now I turn to one of those serious emails that I send on occasion.

Too many times we tend to forget the members of the military who are serving away from home. As a veteran of the U.S. Navy (65-69), I know what it means to be away from your family and loved ones. Holiday times can become especially lonely. Please see the message at the end of this email. It contains links that can be used to send messages of support to troops overseas.
I have been sharing this with the Good Clean Fun list since in 1997. The poem has been circulated freely on the Internet, sometimes as "author unknown" but usually attributed to "A Marine stationed in Okinawa, Japan" However, after September 11, 2001 it was attributed sometimes to "A Soldier/Marine stationed in Afghanistan." Sometimes it was attributed to a Lieutenant Colonel in the Air Force. I found that the piece was researched thoroughly by the folks at the Urban Legend website (Snopes) and I believe that their attribution of authorship is correct. That website, for the curious, is:

The piece is attributed to James M. Schmidt, then a Lance Corporal in the U.S. Marine Corps, stationed in Washington D.C. The piece appeared in "Leatherneck" (Magazine of the Marines) in 1991.

That being said, the message of the piece is still just a powerful, regardless of the authorship. As a former Hospital Corpsman in the U.S. Navy, I have a profound respect for all members of the military, but especially for the U.S. Marines. Because of that, I have chosen to reproduce the original "Marine" version here. This version differs slightly from the one circulating on the Internet in that is contains some Marine-specific wording.

To all my Marine friends, Semper Fi.

- Tom (HM2 1965-69)
A Soldier's Night Before Christmas
(Original Title is "Merry Christmas, My Friend")

'Twas the night before Christmas, he lived all alone,
In a one-bedroom house made of plaster and stone.
I had come down the chimney, with presents to give
and to see just who in this home did live.

As I looked all about, a strange sight I did see,
no tinsel, no presents, not even a tree.
No stocking by the fire, just boots filled with sand.
On the wall hung pictures of a far distant land.

With medals and badges, awards of all kind,
a sobering thought soon came to my mind.
For this house was different, unlike any I'd seen.
This was the home of a U.S. Marine.

I'd heard stories about them, I had to see more,
so I walked down the hall and pushed open the door.
And there he lay sleeping, silent, alone,
Curled up on the floor in his one-bedroom home.

He seemed so gentle, his face so serene,
Not how I pictured a U.S. Marine.
Was this the hero, of whom I'd just read?
Curled up in his poncho, a floor for his bed?

His head was clean-shaven, his weathered face tan.
I soon understood, this was more than a man.
For I realized the families that I saw that night,
owed their lives to these men, who were willing to fight.

Soon around the Nation, the children would play,
And grown-ups would celebrate on a bright Christmas day.
They all enjoyed freedom, each month and all year,
because of Marines like this one lying here.

I couldn't help wonder how many lay alone,
on a cold Christmas Eve, in a land far from home.
Just the very thought brought a tear to my eye.
I dropped to my knees and I started to cry.

He must have awoken, for I heard a rough voice,
"Santa, don't cry, this life is my choice
I fight for freedom, I don't ask for more.
My life is my God, my country, my Corps."

With that he rolled over, drifted off into sleep,
I couldn't control it, I continued to weep.

I watched him for hours, so silent and still.
I noticed he shivered from the cold night's chill.
So I took off my jacket, the one made of red,
and covered this Marine from his toes to his head.
Then I put on his T-shirt of scarlet and gold,
with an eagle, globe and anchor emblazoned so bold.
And although it barely fit me, I began to swell with pride,
and for one shining moment, I was Marine Corps deep inside.

I didn't want to leave him so quiet in the night,
this guardian of honor so willing to fight.
But half asleep he rolled over, and in a voice clean and pure,
said "Carry on, Santa, it's Christmas Day, all secure."
One look at my watch and I knew he was right,
Merry Christmas my friend, Semper Fi and goodnight.
Messages of Support:

You don't have to look too far to know of someone deployed overseas ... perhaps a member of your own family, or the family of a co-worker or friend. Let's not forget them this holiday season. I know the joy which results by receiving messages from "home".

Here are several web sites that can help. They are all free.

The first is "Thank the Troops", sponsored by the Dept of Defense (Community Relations). The web address is:

You can use this site to send messages of support to the troops.

The second is Let's Say Thanks! The web address is:

Let's Say Thanks is a service of Xerox Corporation. It is a web site that allows you to send a FREE printed postcard to U.S. servicemen and women stationed overseas. All you do is pick your favorite card, enter your message and then Xerox does the rest! You can't choose to whom the card is sent, but it will go to a member of the armed services.

The Navy-Marine Corps Relief Society also has a site where you can send an eCard to a deployed Sailor or Marine.

The web site is:
As a final thought on my part, let me share a favorite prayer:

"Lord, keep our servicemen and women safe, whether they serve at home or overseas. Hold them in Your loving hands and protect them as they protect us."

Let's all keep those currently serving and those who have gone before, in our thoughts. They are the reason for the many freedoms we enjoy.
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The difference between Jews and Muslims

Please do your part to assuring that this message never dies.

The Global Islamic population is approximately 1,200,000,000; that is
ONE BILLION TWO HUNDRED MILLION or 20% of the world's population.
They have received the following Nobel Prizes:

1988 - Najib Mahfooz

1978 - Mohamed Anwar El-Sadat
1990 - Elias James Corey
1994 - Yaser Arafat:
1999 - Ahmed Zewai



1960 - Peter Brian Medawar
1998 - Ferid Mourad


The Global Jewish population is approximately 14,000,000; that is FOURTEEN MILLION or about 0.02% of the world's population. They have received the following Nobel Prizes:

1910 - Paul Heyse
1927 - Henri Bergson
1958 - Boris Pasternak
1966 - Shmuel Yosef Agnon
1966 - Nelly Sachs
1976 - Saul Bellow
1978 - Isaac Bashevis Singer
1981 - Elias Canetti
1987 - Joseph Brodsky
1991 - Nadine Gordimer

World Peace:
1911 - Alfred Fried
1911 - Tobias Michael Carel Asser
1968 - Rene Cassin
1973 - Henry Kissinger
1978 - Menachem Begin
1986 - Elie Wiesel
1994 - Shimon Peres
1994 - Yitzhak Rabin

1905 - Adolph Von Baeyer
1906 - Henri Moissan
1907 - Albert Abraham Michelson
1908 - Gabriel Lippmann
1910 - Otto Wallach
1915 - Richard Willstaetter
1918 - Fritz Haber
1921 - Albert Einstein
1922 - Niels Bohr
1925 - James Franck
1925 - Gustav Hertz
1943 - Gustav Stern
1943 - George Charles de Hevesy
1944 - Isidor Issac Rabi
1952 - Felix Bloch
1954 - Max Born
1958 - Igor Tamm
1959 - Emilio Segre
1960 - Donald A. Glaser
1961 - Robert Hofstadter
1961 - Melvin Calvin
1962 - Lev Davidovich Landau
1962 - Max Ferdinand Perutz
1965 - Richard Phillips Feynman
1965 - Julian Schwinger
1969 - Murray Gell-Mann
1971 - Dennis Gabor
1972 - William Howard Stein
1973 - Brian David Josephson
1975 - Ben jamin Mottleson
1976 - Burton Richter
1977 - Ilya Prigogine
1978 - Arno Allan Penzias
1978 - Peter L Kapitza
1979 - Stephen Weinberg
1979 - Sheldon Glashow
1979 - Herbert Charles Brown
1980 - Paul Berg
1980 - Walter Gilbert
1981 - Roald Hoffmann
1982 - Aaron Klug
1985 - Albert A. Hauptman
1985 - Jerome Karle
1986 - Dudley R. Herschbach
1988 - Robert Huber
1988 - Leon Lederman
1988 - Melvin Schwartz
1988 - Jack Steinberger
1989 - Si dney Altman
1990 - Jerome Friedman
1992 - Rudolph Marc us
1995 - Martin Perl
2000 - Alan J. Heeger

1970 - Paul Anthony Samuelson
1971 - Simon Kuznets
1972 - Kenneth Joseph Arrow
1975 - Leonid Kantorovich
1976 - Milton Friedman
1978 - Herbert A. Simon
1980 - Lawrence Robert Klein
1985 - Franco Modigliani
1987 - Robert M. Solow
1990 - Harry Mark owitz
1990 - Merton Miller
1992 - Gary Becker
1993 - Robert Fogel

1908 - Elie Metchnikoff
1908 - Paul Erlich
1914 - Robert Barany
1922 - Otto Meyerhof
1930 - Karl Landsteiner
1931 - Otto Warburg
1936 - Otto Loewi
1944 - Joseph Erlanger
1944 - Herbert Spencer Gasser
1945 - Ernst Boris Chain
1946 - Hermann Joseph Muller
1950 - Tadeus Reichstein
1952 - Selman Abraham Waksman
1953 - Hans Krebs
1953 - Fritz Albert Lipmann
1958 - Joshua Lederberg
1959 - Arthur Kornberg
1964 - Konrad Bloch
1965 - Francois Jacob
1965 - Andre Lwoff
1967 - George Wald
1968 - Marshall W. Nirenberg
1969 - Salvador Luria
1970 - Julius Axelrod
1970 - Sir Bernard Katz
1972 - Gerald Maurice Edelman
1975 - Howard Martin Temin
1976 - Baruch S. Blumberg
1977 - Roselyn Sussman Yalow
1978 - Daniel Nathans
1980 - Baruj Ben cerraf
1984 - Cesar Milstein
1985 - Michael Stuart Brown
1985 - Joseph L. Goldstein
1986 - Stanley Cohen [& Rita Levi-Montalcini]
1988 - Gertrude Elion
1989 - Harold Varmus
1991 - Erwin Neher
1991 - Bert Sakmann
1993 - Richard J. Roberts
1993 - Phillip Sharp
1994 - Alfred Gilman
1995 - Edward B. Lewis
1996- Lu Rose Iacovino
TOTAL: 129!

The Jews are NOT promoting brain washing children in military training camps, teaching them how to blow themselves up and cause maximum deaths of Jews and other non Muslims. The Jews don't hijack planes, nor kill athletes at the Olympics, or blow themselves up in German restaurants.
There is NOT one single Jew who has destroyed a church. There is NOT a single Jew who protests by killing people.

The Jews don't traffic slaves, nor have leaders calling for Jihad and death to all the Infidels.

Perhaps the world's Muslims should consider investing more in standard education and less in blaming the Jews for all their problems.

Muslims must ask 'what can they do for humankind' before they demand that humankind respects them.

Regardless of your feelings about the crisis between Israel and the Palestinians and Arab neighbors, even if you believe there is more culpability on Israel 's part, the following two sentences really say it all:

"If the Arabs put down their weapons today, there would be no more violence. If the Jews put down their weapons today, there would be no more Israel ." - Benjamin Netanyahu

General Eisenhower Warned Us
It is a matter of history that when the Supreme Commander of the Allied Forces, General Dwight Eisenhower, found the victims of the death camps he ordered all possible photographs to be taken, and for the German people from surrounding villages to be ushered through the camps and even made to bury the dead.

He did this because he said in words to this effect:

"Get it all on record now - get the films - get the witnesses because somewhere down the road of history some bastard will get up and say that this never happened"

Recently, the UK debated whether to remove The Holocaust from its school curriculum because it 'offends' the Muslim population which claims it never occurred. It is not removed as yet. However, this is a frightening portent of the fear that is gripping the world and how easily each country is giving into it.

It is now more than 60 years after the Second World War in Europe ended.
This e-mail is being sent as a memorial chain, in memory of the, 6 million Jews, 20 million Russians, 10 million Christians, and 1,900 Catholic priests who were 'murdered, raped, burned, starved, beaten, experimented on and humiliated' while the German people looked the other way.

Now, more than ever, with Iran , among others, claiming the Holocaust to be 'a myth,' it is imperative to make sure the world never forgets.

How many years will it be before the attack on the World Trade Center 'NEVER HAPPENED' because it offends some Muslim in the United States ?

Thanks to Daphne Roberts
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As the Supreme Court hears arguments for and against the Chicago, IL Gun Ban, I offer you another stellar example of a letter (written by a Marine), that places the proper perspective on what a gun means to a civilized society.

Interesting take and one you don't hear much. . . . . .
Read this eloquent and profound letter and pay close attention to the last paragraph of the letter....

"The Gun Is Civilization" by Maj. L. Caudill USMC (Ret)

Human beings only have two ways to deal with one another: reason and force.
If you want me to do something for you, you have a choice of either convincing me via argument, or force me to do your bidding under threat of force.
Every human interaction falls into one of those two categories, without exception. Reason or force, that's it.

In a truly moral and civilized society, people exclusively interact through persuasion.
Force has no place as a valid method of social interaction, and the only thing that removes force from the menu is the personal firearm, as paradoxical as it may sound to some.

When I carry a gun, you cannot deal with me by force.
You have to use reason and try to persuade me, because I have a way to negate your threat or employment of force.

The gun is the only personal weapon that puts a 100-pound woman on equal footing with a 220-pound mugger, a 75-year old retiree on equal footing with a 19-year old gang banger, and a single guy on equal footing with a carload of drunk guys with baseball bats. The gun removes the disparity in physical strength, size, or numbers between a potential attacker and a defender.

There are plenty of people who consider the gun as the source of bad force equations.
These are the people who think that we'd be more civilized if all guns were removed from society, because a firearm makes it easier for a [armed] mugger to do his job.
That, of course, is only true if the mugger's potential victims are mostly disarmed either by choice or by legislative fiat--it has no validity when most of a mugger's potential marks are armed.

People who argue for the banning of arms ask for automatic rule by the young, the strong, and the many, and that's the exact opposite of a civilized society. A mugger, even an armed one, can only make a successful living in a society where the state has granted him a force monopoly.

Then there's the argument that the gun makes confrontations lethal that otherwise would only result in injury.
This argument is fallacious in several ways. Without guns involved, confrontations are won by the physically superior party inflicting overwhelming injury on the loser.

People who think that fists, bats, sticks, or stones don't constitute lethal force watch too much TV, where people take beatings and come out of it with a bloody lip at worst.
The fact that the gun makes lethal force easier works solely in favor of the weaker defender, not the stronger attacker. If both are armed, the field is level.

The gun is the only weapon that's as lethal in the hands of an octogenarian as it is in the hands of a weight lifter.
It simply wouldn't work as well as a force equalizer if it wasn't both lethal and easily employable.

When I carry a gun, I don't do so because I am looking for a fight, but because I'm looking to be left alone.
The gun at my side means that I cannot be forced, only persuaded. I don't carry it because I'm afraid, but because it enables me to be unafraid. It doesn't limit the actions of those who would interact with me through reason, only the actions of those who would do so by force.
It removes force from the equation... and that's why carrying a gun is a civilized act.

By Maj. L. Caudill USMC (Ret.)

Thanks to John Burge
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NEVER FORGET! We're listing the names of our soldiers (65) killed since our last Bleat was published (November 12). These records can be found at

01. Senior Airman Andrew S. Bubacz, 23, of Dalzell, S. C., died Nov. 12 in Nuristan, Afghanistan. He was assigned to the 97th Communications Squadron, Altus Air Force Base, Okla.

02. Cpl. Shawn D. Fannin, 32, of Wheelersburg, Ohio, died Nov. 12 in Mazar-e Sharif, Afghanistan in a non-combat related incident. He was assigned to the 404th Aviation Support Battalion, 4th Combat Aviation Brigade, Fort Hood, Texas.

03. Sgt. Edward H. Bolen, 25, of Chittenango, N.Y., died Nov. 10 in Logar province, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked his unit using small arms fire and an improvised explosive device. He was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 30th Infantry Regiment, 4th Brigade Combat Team, 10th Mountain Division (Light Infantry), Fort Polk, La.

04. Spc. Shannon Chihuahua, 25, of Thomasville, Ga., died Nov. 12 in Kunar province, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked his unit using small arms fire and rocket propelled grenades. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 327th Infantry Regiment, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), Fort Campbell, Ky.

05. Spc. David C. Lutes, 28, of Frostburg, Md., died Nov. 11 in Landstuhl, Germany, of wounds suffered when enemy forces attacked his unit with an improvised explosive device in Nangarhar province, Afghanistan, on Nov. 8. He was assigned to the 1st Squadron, 61st Cavalry Regiment, 4th Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), Fort Campbell, Ky.

The Department of Defense announced the deaths of three soldiers who were supporting Operation Enduring Freedom. They died Nov. 13 in Kandahar province, Afghanistan, when a suicide bomber detonated a vest bomb and struck their unit. Killed were:
06. Staff Sgt. Juan L. Rivadeneira, 27, of Davie, Fla.
07. Cpl. Jacob R. Carver, 20, of Freeman, Mo.
08. Spc. Jacob C. Carroll, 20, of Clemmons, N.C.
They were assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 502nd Infantry Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), Fort Campbell, Ky.

09. Staff Sgt. Kevin M. Pape, 30, of Fort Wayne, Ind., died Nov. 16 in Konar province, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked his unit using small arms fire. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 75th Ranger Regiment, Hunter Army Airfield, Ga.

10. Staff Sgt. Javier O. Ortiz Rivera, 26, of Rochester, N.Y., died Nov. 16 while conducting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to 1st Battalion, 8th Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

The Department of Defense announced the deaths of five soldiers who were supporting Operation Enduring Freedom. They died Nov. 14 in Kunar province, Afghanistan, when insurgents attacked their unit with small arms fire. Killed were:
11. Spc. Shane H. Ahmed, 31, of Chesterfield, Mich.
12. Spc. Nathan E. Lillard, 26, of Knoxville, Tenn.
13. Spc. Scott T. Nagorski, 27, of Greenfield, Wis.
14. Spc. Jesse A. Snow, 25, of Fairborn, Ohio.
15. Pfc. Christian M. Warriner, 19, of Mills River, N.C.
They were assigned to the 1st Battalion, 327th Infantry Regiment, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), Fort Campbell, Ky.

16. Staff Sgt. David P. Senft, 27, of Grass Valley, Calif., died Nov. 15 at Kandahar Airfield, Afghanistan, of injuries sustained in a non-combat related incident. He was assigned to the 5th Battalion, 101st Aviation Regiment, 101st Combat Aviation Brigade, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), Fort Campbell, Ky.

17. Pfc. Kyle M. Holder, 18, of Conroe, Texas, died Nov. 17 at Kandahar Airfield, Afghanistan, of injuries sustained in a non-combat incident. He was assigned to the 1st Squadron, 38th Cavalry Regiment (Reconnaissance and Surveillance), 525th Battlefield Surveillance Brigade, XVIII Airborne Corps, Fort Bragg, N.C.

18. Sgt. Justin E. Culbreth, 26, of Colorado Springs, Colo., died Nov. 17 at Panjway district, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked his unit using an improvised explosive device. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 187th Infantry Regiment, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), Fort Campbell, Ky.

19. Sgt. Jason T. Smith, 28, of Colorado Springs, Colo., died Nov. 19 while conducting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to the Explosive Ordnance Disposal Branch, Headquarters and Headquarters Squadron, Marine Corps Air Station Iwakuni, Marine Corps Bases Japan, Iwakuni, Japan.

20. Staff Sgt. Loleni W. Gandy, 36, of Pago Pago, American Samoa, died Nov. 19 in Balad, Iraq, in a non-combat related incident. He was assigned to the 103rd Expeditionary Sustainment Command, Des Moines, Iowa.

21. Sgt. David J. Luff Jr., 29, of Hamilton, Ohio, died Nov. 21 in Tikrit, Iraq, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked his unit with small arms fire. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 27th Infantry Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 25th Infantry Division, Schofield Barracks, Hawaii.

22. Sgt. David S. Robinson, 25, of Fort Smith, Ark., died Nov. 20 in Qalat, Afghanistan, of injuries suffered in a non-combat related accident. He was assigned to the 2nd Squadron, 2nd Stryker Cavalry Regiment, Vilseck, Germany.

The Department of Defense announced the deaths of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Enduring Freedom. They died Nov. 22 in Kandahar province, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked their unit with an improvised explosive device. They were assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 502nd Infantry Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), Fort Campbell, Ky. Killed were:
23. Staff Sgt. Sean M. Flannery, 29, of Wyomissing, Pa.; and
24. Spc. William K. Middleton, 26, of Norfolk, Va.

25. Lance Cpl. Ardenjoseph A. Buenagua, 19, of San Jose, Calif., died Nov. 24 while conducting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to 1st Combat Engineer Battalion, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Pendleton, Calif.

26. 1st Lt. William J. Donnelly IV, 27, of Picayune, Miss., died Nov. 25 while conducting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to 3rd Battalion, 5th Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Pendleton, Calif.

27. Pvt. Devon J. Harris, 24, of Mesquite, Tex., died Nov. 27 in Wardak province, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked his unit with a rocket-propelled grenade. He was assigned to the Brigade Special Troops Battalion, 10th Mountain Division, at Ft. Polk, La.

28. 1st. Lt. Scott F. Milley, 23, of Sudbury, Mass., died Nov. 30 in Logar province, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked his unit using small arms fire. He was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 30th Infantry Regiment, 4th Brigade Combat Team, 10th Mountain Division, Fort Polk, La.

29. Lt. Col. Gwendolyn A. Locht, 46, of Fort Walton Beach, Fla., was medically evacuated from Kandahar, Afghanistan, on May 22 for treatment of a non-combat related illness. She died Nov. 16 in Houston, Texas. Locht was assigned to the 96th Inpatient Operations Squadron, Eglin Air Force Base, Fla.

The Department of Defense announced the deaths of six soldiers who were supporting Operation Enduring Freedom. They died Nov. 29, in Nangarhar province, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when an insurgent attacked their unit with small arms fire. Killed were:
30. Sgt. 1st Class Barry E. Jarvis, 36, of Tell City, Ind.
31. Staff Sgt. Curtis A. Oakes, 29, of Athens, Ohio.
32. Spc. Matthew W. Ramsey, 20, of Quartz Hill, Calif.
33. Pfc. Jacob A. Gassen, 21, of Beaver Dam, Wis.
34. Pfc. Austin G. Staggs, 19, of Senoia, Ga.
35. Pfc. Buddy W. McLain, 24, of Mexico, Maine.
They were assigned to the 1st Squadron, 61st Cavalry Regiment, 4th Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), Fort Campbell, Ky.

36. Cpl. Chad S. Wade, 22, of Bentonville, Ark., died Dec. 1 while conducting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 1st Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Pendleton, Calif.

37. Sgt. Matthew T. Abbate, 26, of Honolulu, Hawaii, died Dec. 2 while conducting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to the 3rd Battalion, 5th Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Pendleton, Calif.

38. Sgt. 1st Class James E. Thode, 45, of Kirtland, N.M., died Dec. 2 at Sabari District, Khowst Province, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked his unit using an improvised explosive device. He was assigned to the 1457th Engineer Battalion, 204th Maneuver Enhancement Brigade, Salt Lake City, Utah.

39. Lance Cpl. Lucas C. Scott, 20, of Peebles, Ohio, died Dec. 3 while conducting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 6th Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

40. Staff Sgt. Jason A. Reeves, 32, of Odessa, Texas, died December 5 at Gardez District, Paktia Province, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked his unit using an improvised explosive device. He was assigned to the 2nd Military Intelligence Battalion, 66th Military Intelligence Brigade, Hohenfels, Germany.

41. Sgt. Nicholas J. Aleman, 24, of Brooklyn, N.Y., died Dec. 5 while supporting combat operations in Paktia province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to the Deployment Processing Command-East, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

42. Cpl. Derek A. Wyatt, 25, of Akron, Ohio, died Dec. 6 while conducting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to the 3rd Battalion, 5th Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Pendleton, Calif.

43. Pfc. Colton W. Rusk, 20, of Orange Grove, Texas, died Dec. 6 while conducting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to the 3rd Battalion, 5th Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Pendleton, Calif.

44. Lance Cpl. Michael E. Geary, 20, of Derry, N.H., died Dec. 8 while conducting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to 2nd Battalion, 9th Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

The Department of Defense announced the deaths of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Enduring Freedom. They died Dec. 8 in Balkh province, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when an insurgent attacked their unit with an improvised explosive device. Killed were:
45. Sgt. James A. Ayube, II, 25, of Salem, Mass.
46. Spc. Kelly J. Mixon, 23, of Yulee, Fla.
The soldiers were assigned to the 3rd Squadron, 2nd Stryker Cavalry Regiment, Vilseck, Germany.

47. Pfc. David D. Finch, 24, of Bath Springs, Tenn., died Dec. 8 in Wasit province, Iraq, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked his unit using small arms fire. He was assigned to the 2nd Squadron, 3rd Armored Cavalry Regiment, Fort Hood, Texas.

48. Spc. Ethan L. Goncalo, 21, of Fall Rivers, Mass., died Dec. 11 in Kabul, Afghanistan, of injuries sustained in a non-combat related incident. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 181st Infantry Regiment, Worcester, Mass.

49. Staff Sgt. Stacy A. Green, 34, of Alexander City, Ala., died Dec. 10 while conducting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 8th Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

The Department of Defense announced the deaths of six soldiers who were supporting Operation Enduring Freedom. They died Dec. 12 in Kandahar province, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked their unit with an improvised explosive device. Killed were:
50. Cpl. Sean M. Collins, 25, of Ewa Beach, Hawaii.
51. Cpl. Willie A. McLawhorn Jr., 23, of Conway, N.C.
52. Cpl. Patrick D. Deans, 22 of Orlando, Fla.
53. Cpl. Kenneth E. Necochea Jr., 21, of San Diego, Calif.
54. Cpl. Derek T. Simonetta, 21, of Redwood City, Calif.
55. Cpl. Jorge E. Villacis, 24, of Sunrise, Fla.
They were assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 502nd Infantry Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), Fort Campbell, Ky.

56. Lance Cpl. Jose A. Hernandez, 19, of West Palm Beach, Fla., died Dec. 14 while conducting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to 1st Battalion, 8th Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

57. Staff Sgt. Justin E. Schmalstieg, 28, of Pittsburgh, Pa., died Dec. 15 while conducting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to the 1st Explosive Ordnance Disposal Company, 7th Engineer Support Battalion, 1st Marine Logistics Group, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Pendleton, Calif.

58. Spc. Sean R. Cutsforth, 22, of Radford, Va., died Dec. 15 at Ghazni Province, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked his unit using small arms fire. He was assigned to 3rd Battalion, 187th Infantry Regiment, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), Fort Campbell, Ky.

59. Lance. Cpl. Jose L. Maldonado, 21, of Mathis, Texas, died Dec. 17 while conducting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to 3rd Battalion, 5th Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Pendleton, Calif.

60. Cpl. Sean A. Osterman, 21, of Princeton, Minn., died Dec. 16 from wounds received Dec.14 while conducting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to the 2nd Reconnaissance Battalion, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

61. Cpl. Eric M. Torbert Jr., 25, of Lancaster, Pa., died Dec. 18 while conducting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to the 1st Combat Engineer Battalion, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Pendleton, Calif.

62. Pfc. Conrado D. Javier Jr., 19, of Marina, Calif., died Dec. 19 in Kandahar province, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when enemy forces attacked his vehicle with an improvised explosive device. He was assigned to the 3rd Squadron, 2nd Stryker Cavalry Regiment, Vilseck, Germany.

63. Lance Cpl. William H. Crouse IV, 22, of Woodruff, S.C., died Dec. 21 while conducting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to 1st Battalion, 10th Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

64. Lance Cpl. Kenneth A. Corzine, 23, of Bethalto, Ill., died Dec. 24 of wounds received Dec. 5 while conducting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to 3rd Battalion, 5th Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Pendleton, Calif.

65. Cpl. Tevan L. Nguyen, 21, of Hutto, Texas, died Dec. 28, while conducting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to the 3rd Battalion, 5th Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Pendleton, Calif.
U.S. Soldier MIA from Korean War Identified

The Department of Defense POW/Missing Personnel Office announced today that the remains of a U.S. serviceman, missing in action from the Korean War, have been identified and returned to his family for burial with full military honors.

Army Sgt. First Class Wallace L. Slight, 24, of Yates City, Ill., will be buried Dec. 3 in Van Meter, Iowa. On Nov. 1, 1950, Slight was assigned to M Company, 8th Cavalry, 1st Cavalry Division, occupying a defensive position in North Korea, along the Nammyon River, near a bend known as the “Camel’s Head.” Two enemy elements attacked the 1st Cavalry Division’s lines, collapsing their perimeter and forcing a withdrawal. Almost 400 men, including Slight, were reported missing or killed in action following the battle.

In 1953, a U.S. soldier captured during the same battle reported that a fellow prisoner of war had told him Slight had died on the battlefield during the attack.

Between 1991 and 1994, North Korea gave the United States 208 boxes of remains believed to contain the remains of 200-400 U.S. servicemen. North Korean documents turned over with one of the boxes indicated the remains in one of the boxes were exhumed near Unsan County, North Pyongan Province. This location correlates with the location of the 3rd Battalion, 8th Cavalry Regiment on Nov. 2, 1950.

Analysts from DPMO and the Joint POW/MIA Accounting Command (JPAC) developed case leads with information spanning more than 58 years. Through interviews with eyewitnesses, experts evaluated circumstances surrounding the soldier’s captivity and death and researched wartime documentation of his loss.

Among other forensic identification tools and circumstantial evidence, scientists from JPAC used dental comparisons and the Armed Forces DNA Identification Laboratory used mitochondrial DNA -- which matched that of Slight’s brother and half-brother -- in the identification.

For additional information on the Defense Department’s mission to account for missing Americans, visit the DPMO website at or call 703-699-1169.
Soldier Missing in Action from World War I Identified

The Department of Defense POW/Missing Personnel Office announced today that the remains of a U.S. serviceman, missing in action from World War I, have been identified and returned to his family for burial with full military honors.

Army Private Henry A. Weikel, 28, of Mt. Carmel, Pa., will be buried on Dec. 9 in Annville, Pa. On Sept. 16, 1918, as part of the 60th Infantry Regiment, 1st Brigade, 5th Infantry Division, his unit encountered heavy enemy artillery barrage and machine gun fire near Jaulny, France, in a wooded area known as Bois de Bonvaux. Weikel was killed during the battle and his remains were buried with two other soldiers in a wooded area between Bois de Bonvaux and Bois de Grand Fontaine. Attempts to locate his remains by U.S. Army Graves Registration personnel following the war were unsuccessful.

In September 2006, French nationals hunting for metal in the area found human remains and World War I artifacts. A Joint POW/MIA Accounting Command team, operating near the location, was notified of the discovery and recovered human remains upon excavating the site.

Among other forensic identification tools and circumstantial evidence, scientists from the JPAC laboratory also used dental comparisons in the identification of the remains.
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Central Asia Institute. Donate to support education and empower people to resist terrorist growth. []
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Weekly Toll _ _
Death In The Workplace w/News & Updates
John Donne _ ...any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.
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The Pump Handle. A water cooler for the public health crowd.
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Movie Reviews - - []
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"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." __ Franklin D. Roosevelt
"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. _ _ George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" _ _ Queen E. Watson
“A political class of Republicans and Democrats that look after themselves, not the Nation. A media hostile to the very precepts of this nation. A generation of Americans who see morals as vices, and are ignorant of America's Actual History.”
"The things that will destroy America are prosperity-at-any-price, peace-at-any-price, safety-first instead of duty-first, the love of soft living, and the get-rich-quick theory of life." - - Theodore Roosevelt
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Scheduled Activities
Men's Prayer Breakfast held every Tuesday morning at 6 AM in Miller's Cafeteria. If you aren't a regular participant at the Men's Prayer Breakfast, you're missing some great food, fellowship and inspired teaching of the Word. Hope to see you there.
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Emergency Phone Number 911
(Fire, Police, Ambulance, Sheriff, etc. )
Central Dispatch 234_5655
(Non _ Emergency Number)
Direct Numbers
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http://www. aapcc. org/
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E_mail addresses for communicating with the newspaper’s various departments are: For the editor, For news and sports items, Coming Events, Diary, Church News, school and civic events.
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"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." __ "Bug"
"I read the end of the book. We win!" __ "Bug"
"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." __ "Bug"
"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." _ _ "Bug"
"It's no big deal doing what God tells you to do. A big deal would be NOT doing what God tells you to do. Just ask Jonah." _ _ Paul Troquille
“Nam et ipsa scientia potestas est.” Knowledge is power. _ Francis Bacon
"The problem is here and now. The time for talk is past. The time for action is now."
Comments on the first Earth Day _ James F. McClellan via John "Fuzzy" Thurman
Hope you enjoy the newsletter.
Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" __"Bug"
God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
Isa 30:15-16 John 9:14-16 Acts 9:21-22 Luke 2:8-11,15-16 Eccl 10:12-14 Isa 31:3 Isa 31:3 Eccl 1:1-3,8-9 Psa 83:1-7 Isa 30:21-22 John 7:50-52 Eccl 12:11-13 John 9:6-7 John 10:7-9 Mat 6:31-34 Psa 132:1-5 Psa 103:15-18 Deu 10:10 1 Sam 17:38-40 2 Tim 4:13 Acts 12:5-9 Psa 85:7-9 Psa 81:6-7 Acts 6:8-10 Acts 11:1-3, Acts 5:38-39, Gen 37:23-25, 1 Th 5:15-18
God is Good and Faithful CU 73 IC JFM CSP NREMT_I KC5HII

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