Saturday, October 30, 2010

Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Insufficient Brain Activity - - Photos

 
Thomas the engine at the East Texas Railroad "Rusk" Station.

 
Josiah watches the scenery from the train pulled by "Thomas"

 
The conductor posed with us on the "Thomas" excursion.

 
Josiah and Ethan in front of "Thomas"
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Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Insufficient Brain Activity - - Photos

 
Linda and Jim Miller discuss the US Senate Race with Independent Candidate Trevor Drown.

 
Amanda Franks “mans” the Trevor Drown booth at El Dorado’s MusicFest.

 
We proudly supported several candidates this fall.

 
An example of a
“Connies” Cafe meal. You can enjoy great eating at Connies Monday - Saturday for breakfast and lunch.
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Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Insufficient Brain Activity - - Photos

 
OEM Workers “Recap” the Lafayette County annual drill. I was privelaged to work this exercise.

 
Larry Taylor and Eric Plummer discuss the Columbia County Drill "Script"

 
Lauren Martin covers the County Wide Annual Emergency Drill for the Banner News

 
This drill heavily involved EMS as well as SAU and Magnolia Law Enforcement.
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Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Insufficient Brain Activity - - Photos

 
Annette waits for the "Texas Eagle"

 
Our bunks on the recent St Louis Trip.

 
"Bug" on the train.

 
Annette heads for the station in St. Louis
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Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Insufficient Brain Activity - - Photos

 
Birthday Boy.

 
Sunset

 
Miracle in Christies Chapel, a Henderson Student manages to crash land on a driveway in the dark.

 
Fall Color
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Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Insufficient Brain Activity - - Photos

 

Dusty and the Wildcats take the field,

 

Zac at the Wildcats vs Cubs game
 


 

, Dusty picking up his equipment after the game
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Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Insufficient Brain Activity

Volume 12, Issue 43 Friday, October 29, 2010

Hello All,

First, Just a friendly reminder. I realize that some of you out there do not always agree with me politically, and that is okay. However your heart and/or brain tells you to vote, it is important that you do so. That is what America is all about, and it is in our disagreements that usually leads our country to do what is best for all of us.

So make sure you vote next week.
Republicans and Independents vote on Tuesday, November 2nd, between 8:00 AM and 8:00 PM.
Democrats vote on Wednesday, November 3rd, between 8:00 AM and 8:00 PM. :0)
~~~~~
Most of my time lately has been spent campaigning for Trevor Drown, Independent Candidate for US Senate. He's a GREAT guy and this is the year an Independent has a real chance. (Since almost everyone is voting against incumbents.)
Here are Trevor’s core beliefs as espoused during a recent interview:

1. Do you support a national sales tax? Drown: Not at the present time, there is not enough information or control mechanisms in place. We have more important things to address. Now is not the time to look at new ways to do things, when we can fix many of the problems we have with common sense legislation.

2. Do you support Congressman Paul Ryan’s budget that would privatize Social Security and Medicare, yes or no? Drown: No

3. Do you support tax breaks for companies that send U.S. jobs overseas? Drown: No

4. Do you support tax credits for Arkansas small businesses who hire unemployed workers? Drown: Yes

5. How would you have voted on TARP and accountability reforms? Drown: No on TARP. It depends on which accountability reforms. There have been many. We do need accountability reform, but I believe they should be regulatory bills which stand on their own, not attached to other bills as amendments.

6. Would you ever vote to raise the debt ceiling? Drown: No

7. Do you think it is the role of Arkansas’s congressional delegation to request special projects for Arkansas’s communities and universities from previously appropriated funds? Drown: No, I disagree with this whole concept for any member of Congress doing this across the country. It is part of the reason our country is in such a financial mess.

8. Do you believe women whose lives are at risk or who are victims of rape or incest should have the option to terminate their pregnancies? Drown: Yes

9. Do you consider yourself a Tea Party candidate? Drown: It is not up to me to make that claim or dispute it. The definition of a Tea Party candidate has yet to be determined. If by that descriptor one means a small limited federal government, lower taxes, balanced budget and a strong belief in State Rights and the Constitution, which are my beliefs, then I can understand why people identify me as a tea-party candidate. If by that description you mean a member of or an off-shoot of the Republican Party or someone who believes we need to fix the GOP from within, the answer is no. I have no intention of supporting or pushing the agenda of any political party.

http://www.drownforsenate.com/
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Trevor-Drown-for-US-Senate-I-Arkansas/130753334441
~~~~~
From Michael Yon: It saddens me greatly to read mindless slanders against the entire Muslim world on my own pages comments section. There are some bad Muslim, just as there are bad Jews, Hindus, and Christians. Yet tonight, like many nights, I sleep under protection of Afghan Muslims. They will protect me with their lives. They are good men.
And Sergeant Major Mohemmed al-Ahbab, this courageous Iraqi was lost to the same savages that we fight together. May God cherish his courageous soul. See [http://www.michaelyon-online.com/our-muslim-friends-suffer-too.htm]
Our Muslim Friends Suffer, Too
www.michaelyon-online.com
~
Thanks Mike. Unfortunately, there is almost no "good" press about Muslim's here. I just finished "Three Cups of Tea" and "Stones Into Schools" and those books were the first positive discussion of Muslim's I've been exposed to in the last few years.
Somehow, we've got to get off this mindless "Hatred" track and start learning about the people we share this world with.
~~~~~
And speaking of Muslim’s who aren’t our friends, the CIA recently acknowledged "missteps" and "shortcomings" that allowed a would-be informant to enter a U.S. base in Afghanistan and blow himself up on December 30, killing seven CIA officers (one of which was a young man we knew.) http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE69J04720101020
~~~~~
I guess I’m conservative but, like most folks, I don’t agree with everything Republican or Libertarian or TEA Party or Democrat. It’s my belief that our nation would work better with fewer folks “messin” with us. Most of the laws that are passed are probably done so with good intentions, but committees or congresses have never been able to make good decisions.

Like a wise man once said; “Democracy is probably the worst political system ever devised, it just happens to be better than all the rest.” To me, most of the solutions to our problems are simple. The problem is no one else seems to see what I see.

In the end, I contend that the root cause of our problems is too much government, not too little. Don’t misunderstand me. I’m not advocating a return to the Articles of Confederation nor do I support the pure Libertarian line. There are many things that only government (local, county, state or national) can handle.

I’m reminded of the Civil Rights Act. Segregation was not going away without intervention and none of the southern state governments were going to intervene. My parents had a restaurant and one of their best friends had a gas station. When the Civil Rights Movement began gaining “steam,” their friend’s son joined the voting rights groups and was outspoken about it. As a result, folks quit doing business at that gas station and the man lost his business.

So, my parents couldn’t break the mores of the community and serve blacks in their restaurant. They too would have gone out of business. On one occasion, three soldiers stopped there for lunch. One of them was black. My mother explained that the black soldier would have to eat in the kitchen. The soldiers told her they wouldn’t do that and asked if there was any where else they could get a meal. With three brothers in the service, my mother couldn’t stand to turn them away. So, she closed the dining room and allowed all three to be served by her in that room.

But when the Civil Rights Act was passed, she could tell her customers that she had no choice but to serve all races. So, there is a place for government intervention. But telling me what light bulbs I can buy, or how much water my toilet can use, etc. is way past necessary intervention. They’ve done gone to meddling.
~
As far as my loyalty to the Independent cause, it’s just an extension of the above thinking. The two major parties have too much power and too many ideas I disagree with. It kind of reminds me of the Tower of Babel. They seemingly can’t be stopped nor controlled.
But throw in a bunch of Independent Congressmen and Senators and we might have a chance to slow down this headlong rush to national bankruptcy.

I agree that many of the Independent voters are handling public relations for their candidates in the wrong way. They’ve had a short learning curve. It would be great if the Independents would become more organized, spend more money, advertise more, etc.

In spite of the Independents mistakes, I still think the “media” has failed us all every time they’ve discussed political races and excluded any candidates not considered “leading” in the polls. When they stick to the “Red and Blue” folks, they are helping to perpetuate the status quo which, to me, seems to be leading us to failure. Such exclusions are not confined to Arkansas. See [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P1VW4pnqMJo&feature=related]
~~~~~
Annette and I pretty much don’t quarrel any more. We've already said most everything there is to say. A while back we were headed to Little Rock for yet another Doctor's visit and Annette spent the first hour telling me all the things I needed to get done around the house and at church. About Bryant, Arkansas, she paused, looked at me and said: "You're not going to do any of these things are you?" "No" I replied. :0)
~~~~~
Here's another one of my favorite "Bud" stories. My mother was driving through Taylor one day when the town Marshall, who usually set on a bench in front of the "Hub" café, got up, stepped to the curb and watched her drive by. She didn't really think anything about it. The next time she came by, he waved her down and told her to watch her driving. That kind of upset her but she figured that she'd not been paying proper attention and shrugged it off. However, each time she drove through town after that, he would step to the curb and carefully watch her drive by. It took two or three instances of this before she stopped the car in the middle of the street and "read him the riot act." There was no doubt that she didn't intend to allow him to criticize her driving any further. He just starting laughing and told her it was the easiest $5 he'd ever earned. Seems that Bud had given him $5 to make my mother mad. Bud had bet another man $20 that he could get Iris to cuss out the Marshall on the main street of town.
~~~~~
As for recent Magnolia news, Same old - Same old. Economy is slow. Lots of folks out of work. University is expanding. On the bright side, there's a new place to eat breakfast and lunch. Connie’s is on Calhoun street west of the railroad tracks, in an old Laundromat. Fantastic home cooking and lumber jack portions. Lots of folks eat there, including Annette and I once or twice a week. Don’t be discouraged if you drive up and the parking lot is full. The service is fast and someone will usually make room for you at their table.
~~~~~
As for work, the community college in El Dorado contacted me and I'm helping rewrite their safety training curriculum for next year.
~~~~~
Lies, Damned Lies, and Science (Free Book for a Limited Time): How to Sort through the Noise around Global Warming, the Latest Health Claims, and Other Scientific Controversies [Kindle Edition]
~~~~~
I still contend that "Draconian" environmental laws will drastically reduce the world’s standard of living without appreciable results for the environment. The real key to preserving the human population is to curb population growth. And that's just not gonna happen via law here or elsewhere. In the meantime, let's encourage "green" initiatives. But I DON'T support "Cap and Trade" which is really just a tax that all of us will pay. Nor do I support government regulations that supposedly help the environment when, in reality, the do little good and probably more harm. Such as outlawing the sale of incandescent bulbs (try heating your dog house with an LED bulb.) Or "water saver" toilets that require folks to flush 3 to 4 times instead of once. All these things are good ideas (use energy saver bulbs and water saver toilets) but bad laws.
~~~~~
After she' d had her CPAP for two years, Annette took it back to the Respiratory supply folks to get the "internal" filter changed. They asked her why she hadn't been doing the regular maintenance. She looked at them and said "What Regular Maintenance?"
They explained that she was supposed to clean the foam filter every couple of days and change the internal filter every two weeks. She also still had the old original mask and she was supposed to change the mask and supply tubing every 90 days. But they hadn't seen her in the last two years. In addition, she was supposed to do a "Pulse Ox" study every year or so and she hadn't.
At this point I backed toward the door to get out of the "line of fire" because I knew that Annette had called this place several times and was told to just do the every couple of day maintenance and she didn't need anything else. As I expected, she "politely" "read them the riot act" explaining that she had repeatedly contacted them for assistance and had gotten less than "excellent" service from them.
The Respiratory folks started apologizing, got her a HUGE supply of disposable supplies, a new mask and set her up for a pulse ox study (which can be done at home.)
Moral of this story, know what you’re supposed to do and what your medical supplier is supposed to do and "hold their feet to the fire."
~~~~~
For a couple of years, I've been working to make bread. I'm using a single recipe, varying it as I seek bread nirvana. So far, I've made one loaf that Annette actually agreed to taste (a small bite.) I'm enjoying the bread, even if the rest of the family stays away from it like it was the plague.
Recently, I read "52 Loaves - One Man's Relentless Pursuit of Truth, Meaning, and a Perfect Crust." (by William Alexander) This is a "Serious, irreverent, funny and informative" book that Annette and I enjoyed reading out loud to each other. If you get a chance, check it out. Here are a couple of quotes from the book.
"Friendship is not so simple." - Albert Camus
"Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive."
The perfect is the enemy of the good. - Voltaire
Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. - Stephen Wright
~~~~~
Just to make you feel better... Recently I was in an industry security seminar and we heard the following story from a LA state trooper.
He was called to the Driver's License office in Alexandria, LA and found a gentleman from Yemen with various fake IDs trying to get a DOT HazMat license. He arrested the guy and turned him over to the feds. A week later, he saw the guy walking down the street and arrested him again as an illegal. A month later he was again called to the Driver's License office, this time the guy had a "valid" license but had a fake test result trying to get the HazMat cert. He arrested him again and, again, turned him over to the feds. Three months later, he arrested THE SAME GUY for passing a hot check at the local 7/11. When he called the feds, they told him the guy was supposed to be on parole in Chicago and to put him on the bus, they would pick him up when he got to Chicago.
Two weeks ago, he saw the guy again, in Alexandria, LA, this time driving an Exxon Gasoline tanker. He didn't even stop him. If the feds didn't want the guy, why should he bother.
~~~~~
And yet another “Feel Good” item. In a televised interview, Harry Reid says tax paying is voluntary. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j1Ktbub_IYk&feature=related]
~~~~~
To "Ace" the CIH. Just remember my secret: Read each questions carefully and read ALL the answers. Then (and only then), if you have no earthly idea what the answer is, look at your watch (IMPORTANT - you must have a watch with either a second hand or one that displays seconds.)
If the second hand is between 12 and 3 (or 0 and 15 seconds), the answer is "A".
If the second hand is between 3 and 6 (or 15 and 30 seconds), the answer is "B".
If the second hand is between 6 and 9 (or 30 and 45 seconds), the answer is "C".
If the second hand is between 9 and 12 (or 45 and 60 seconds), the answer is "D".

It worked for me the second time I took the CSP exam. :0)
~~~~~
Central Asia Institute. Donate to support education and empower people to resist terrorist growth. [http://www.ikat.org/]
~~~~~
Gracie Lou Oliver Murphy - This is AMERICA...we don't distribute wealth, we EARN IT!
~~~~~
I don't like perchloroethylene and I'm not fond of Glycol ether. :0) - (thanks to "Big Bang Theory")
~~~~~
The “Star Spangled Banner” was inspired by our “Grand Old Flag” flying in the face of constant attack by our enemies as witnessed by the 35-year-old lawyer and amateur poet, Francis Scott Key, after witnessing the bombardment of Fort McHenry by the British Royal Navy ships in Chesapeake Bay during the Battle of Fort McHenry in the War of 1812.
The lyrics for the song are based on the poem, "Defence of Fort McHenry", he wrote in 1814.
So, what am I getting at? In this time of crisis (economic and political) in our country, an American flag should be displayed outside every home, apartment, office, and store in the United States . Every individual should make it their duty to display an American flag in honor of those who’ve lost their lives on and since 9/11, their families, friends and loved ones who continue to endure the pain, and those who today are fighting at home and abroad to preserve our cherished freedoms.
In the days, weeks and months following 9/11, our country was bathed in American flags as citizens mourned the incredible losses and stood shoulder-to-shoulder against terrorism. Sadly, those flags have all but disappeared. Our patriotism pulled us through some tough times and it shouldn't take another attack to galvanize us in solidarity. Our American flag is the fabric of our country and together we can prevail over terrorism of all kinds.
Thank you for your participation. God Bless You and God Bless America !!!
~~~~~
Kip O'Shaughnessy
I read about a problem a company was having with shipping cod from the East Coast to the West Coast. Apparently, by the time the fish arrived, they were spoiled. So they tried freezing the fish, but upon arrival, they were mushy to the taste. Next they sent the cod live, but when they arrived, the fish were dead. So they tried sending them live once again, but with a difference: included in the tanks of the live cod was their mortal enemy, the catfish. And when they arrived, the cod were alive and well, because they had spent the entire journey evading the catfish.

The word "persecuted" Jesus used in Matthew 5:10 could be translated, "to be chased, to be driven away, to be pursued." Sometimes persecution is violent. There have been Christians who have been physically assaulted for their faith, not so much in the United States, but certainly around the world. Christians have been harassed, jailed, and sometimes even martyred.

But sometimes persecution is more subtle. It might be the loss of a job, being the brunt of jokes, or losing some friends. And if you live a godly life, then you are going to be persecuted.

Jesus said that when you are persecuted, "rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven" (Matthew 5:12). Not only does persecution draw us closer to Jesus and, as a result, farther away from a world system that is hostile to Him, but it guarantees a reward. God allows persecution for His own special purposes.

So maybe God has put a catfish in your tank, so to speak. He can use it in your life. He has allowed it to keep you on your toes, to keep you strong spiritually.

by: Greg Laurie - Copyright © 2010 by Harvest Ministries. All rights reserved.
~~~~~
Juli Grindstaff Waller A Sunday school teacher asked "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One bright little girl said, "Because people are sleeping."
~~~~~
Robert Lyons No arsenal, or no weapon in the arsenals of the world, is as formidable as the will and moral courage of free men and women." (Ronald Reagan)
~~~~~
Nancee Davis Law You know you're getting old when you sit down for breakfast and you hear snap, crackle, pop and you haven't even touched the milk.
~~~~~
Daryl Cox Rest assured if you vote Republican or Democrat, that you are getting the best politicians that money can buy...
~~~~~
Everything I need to know about life, I learned from Noah's Ark . One: Don't miss the boat. Two: Remember that we are all in the same boat. Three: Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark. Four: Stay fit. When you're 600 years old, someone may ask you to do something really big. Five: Don't listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done. Six: Build your future on high ground. Seven: For safety's sake, travel in pairs. Eight: Speed isn't always an advantage. The snails were on board with the cheetahs. Nine: When you're stressed, float a while. Ten: Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals. Eleven: No matter the storm, when you are with God, there's always a rainbow waiting.
~~~~~
Jimmy Malone - - A couple of days ago I was driving with Josiah in the back seat. "You know," he said thoughtfully," I just don't see the devil winning." Me neither!
~~~~~
Consumer Reports: Adults can benefit from flu, shingles, and pneumonia vaccines - - [Washington Post] Last fall the nation seemed to be on the brink of a vaccine crisis. Production delays led to shortages of the new H1N1 (swine) flu vaccine. Surveys found that people were confused about who needed that vaccine and who needed the regular annual flu shot. The quick manufacturing process for the new vaccine led to uncertainty about its safety and effectiveness, and resurrected concerns about vaccine safety in general. [http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/10/25/AR2010102503343.html]
~
Study: Flu Vaccine Is Money Loser For Doctors Paid By Medicaid - - [Medical News Today] More poor children would get the flu vaccine if Medicaid increased the reimbursement to doctors for giving the shot, according to a new study published in the journal Pediatrics. [http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/205355.php] Articles cited: Yoo, B.-K., A. Berry, et al. (2010). "Association Between Medicaid Reimbursement and Child Influenza Vaccination Rates." Pediatrics: peds.2009-3514. [https://ezproxyhhs.nihlibrary.nih.gov/login?url=http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/cgi/content/abstract/peds.2009-3514v1]
~~~~~
Don't Let Vampires Drain Your Energy - - SAN DIEGO, CA, Oct 28, 2010 (MARKETWIRE via COMTEX) -- San Diego Gas & Electric (SDG&E) wants to remind its customers to protect themselves against vampires -- energy vampires, that is. Energy vampires, also known as "standby energy loss," are electronics, appliances and gadgets that quietly suck power even when they are turned off. While these glowing standby lights and digital displays consume relatively small amounts on their own, collectively they can account for as much as 10 percent of a customer's electricity costs. [http://www.marketwatch.com/story/dont-let-vampires-drain-your-energy-2010-10-28?reflink=MW_news_stmp]
~~~~~
Robert Lyons - - At Any Given Moment, Globally: FACT: 79,000,000 people are engaged in sex - right now. FACT: 58,000,000 are kissing. FACT: 37,000,000 are relaxing after having sex.
FACT: 1 old person is reading facebook. You hang in there, you hear .....
~~~~~
I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up to begin with. Copied from Joey Meyers
~~~~~
Steve Downey ?"What Does it Mean?" .... Buoyant: A male insect .... 'and' .... Myth: A female moth.
~~~~~
Steve Downey ?"What Does it Mean?" .... Assmosis: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than hard work.
~~~~~
Steve Downey ?"What Does it Mean?" ... Onosecond: That extremely small, tiny, minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake, and it's too late to undo it!
~~~~~
Steve Downey ?"What Does it Mean?".... Karmageddon: It's
like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right?
And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
~~~~~
Steve Downey ?"What Does it Mean?" ...... Avoidable: What a bullfighter tries to do.
~~~~~
Steve Downey ?"What Does it Mean?" ... Stress Puppy: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiney. 'me lately'
~~~~~
Steve Downey ?"What Does it Mean?" ..... Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
~~~~~
Steve Downey ?"What Does it Mean?" .... Subdued: Like, a guy, like, who works on one of those, like, submarines, man.
~~~~~
Brody Hubbard Apparently talking to yourself is the first sign of madness... personally I think it's the first sign of normality, as I always get the answer I want
~~~~~
Guy buys his wife a cemetery plot for her birthday. Next birthday she says...You didn't get me anything. Guy says..... You haven't used the last gift I got you.
~~~~~
Why do parents teach their kids that "no one can tell you what to do" when that is NOT what the Bible teaches, those sort of statements plant seeds that eventually spring up into REBELLION and DISRESPECT two things that directly go against God and His word. Statements like that subtly teach them to be god of their own life because nobody can tell them what to do.
~~~~~
Steve Downey Tears are the safety valve of the heart, relieving pressure when too much builds up.
~~~~~
A good trait to learn is how to weasel out of things; it’s what separates us from the animals, except the weasel. HOMER SIMPSON - Charles Roach
~~~~~
A farmer was milking his cow. He was just starting to get a good rhythm going when a bug flew into the barn and started circling his head. Suddenly, the bug flew into the cow's ear. The farmer didn't think much about it, until the bug squirted out into his bucket. It went in one ear, and out the udder.
~~~~~
Brody Hubbard ?"The young man knows the rules, but the old man knows the exceptions." - Oliver Wendell Holmes
~~~~~
Steve Downey Every woman is wrong until she cries, then she is right.... Instantly!
~~~~~
Steve Downey You know what a woman's curiosity is?
~~~~~
Ricci Leever Black Just saw this quote: “Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed, there are many rewards; if you disgrace yourself, you can always write a book.” – Ronald Reagan
~~~~~
Jimmy Malone I am always better with hopeful uncertainty than with well-established dead routine...
~~~~~
Kit Lange ?"...the constant brainwashing so common in totalitarian regimes molds women to become partners in their own demise and in the destruction of their own offspring...And where are the voices of Western feminists so eager to burn bras, but hardly a word about burning burqas?"
~~~~~
Jimmy Baugh The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
~~~~~
Robert Lyons Looking back, maybe my best teachers taught me HOW to learn and to WANT to learn more than what was on page 122 in the text book. "Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught." - Oscar Wilde
~~~~~
Steve Downey For every minute you are angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness.... (Ralph Waldo Emerson).
~~~~~

What would you think if I sang out of tune,
Would you stand up and walk out on me.
Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song,
And I'll try not to sing out of key.
Oh I get by with a little help from my friends,
Mmm, I get high with a little help from my friends,
Mmm, I'm gonna try with a little help from my friends.

Do you need anybody?
I need somebody to love.
Could it be anybody?
I want somebody to love.

What do I do when my love is away.
(Does it worry you to be alone)
How do I feel by the end of the day
(Are you sad because you're on your own)
No, I get by with a little help from my friends,
Mmm, get high with a little help from my friends,
Mmm, gonna to try with a little help from my friends

Do you need anybody?
I need somebody to love.
Could it be anybody?
I want somebody to love.

Would you believe in a love at first sight?
Yes I'm certain that it happens all the time.
What do you see when you turn out the light?
I can't tell you, but I know it's mine.
Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends,
Mmm I get high with a little help from my friends,
Oh, I'm gonna try with a little help from my friends

Do you need anybody?
I just need someone to love.
Could it be anybody?
I want somebody to love

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends,
Mmm, gonna try with a little help from my friends
Ooh, I get high with a little help from my friends
Yes I get by with a little help from my friends,
with a little help from my friends

~~~~~
Energy News | Wind Turbine Projects Run Into Resistance
http://www.haynesvillemovie.com/1478/wind-turbine-projects-run-into-resistance/
~~~~~
Gunner takes bullet to helmet in rescue
http://www.armytimes.com/news/2010/09/gannett-army-campbell-gunner-takes-bullet-to-helmet-in-afghan-rescue-090310/
~~~~~
BASKETBALL MEMORIES

My earliest memories of basketball are of the concession stand at the Laura Conner High School gym there in Augusta. It was a six-foot counter two feet wide and four feet high stuck in the corner of the gym entrance. On it were a box of nickel packs of Juicy Fruit, a cigar box what served as the cash register, a hot plate with a pot of grease on it, a mixing bowl of batter, a bread pan of franks, a jelly jar full of short wooden skewers, an open jar of mustard, a dinner knife to spread the mustard, and a package of paper napkins. That’s right: it sold Juicy Fruit and corn dogs.

Next to the concession stand was a red Coke machine (́bout the size and shape of our refrigerator at home) what dispensed six-ounce bottles of Coca Cola for a nickel. Next to the Coke machine was an inclined rack what held four wooden Coke crates for people to put their empties in.

I usually managed to escape Mama before the end of the first quarter while she was busy struggling with my baby sister. Daddy was busy coaching the high school girlś team. I’d spend my Time Bean nickel on the Juicy Fruit and saunter over to the Coke machine. A Time Bean nickel? That was the nickel Daddy always gave me on the way to church for the collection plate. I asked him what it was for, and he said it was God’s. I asked him what to do with it, and he said to put it in my pocket for the time being.

Having spent God’s pocket change on Juicy Fruit, a Coke machine demanding another nickel proved little obstacle to a thirsty three-year-old. Why, the empties rack was full of bottles with a quarter inch or so of the sweet dregs of flat cola, and as long as you held up the bottle to the light and checked it for cigarette butts, you could pretty much drink your fill. (That light trick was learned early and fast.)

Come halftime, Mama would buy me a corn dog and give me a nickel for the Coke machine. Not being thirsty, I’d put the nickel back in my pocket for the Time Bean. I never was one to shortchange God.

My next memory of basketball concerns my father in make-up and a ballroom gown, but I don’t want to talk about that.
Chuck Jackson
~
At the Lake Earling store, they had one of those horizontal coke machines where the bottles hung by their necks and a nickel would unlock the end of the row so you could pull a coke out.
Or, if you didn't have a nickel, you could just pop a top off and use a straw to get the coke out of the bottle. But you had to do it when Mr. Helms was down at the dock tending to a customer.
~~~~~
Steve Downey Why is it, when I order a large, unsweetened ice tea at McDonald's, the kid asks me "Is that for here or to go?" It's a d__n drink for gosh sake!
~~~~~
Kit Lange ?"If you're gonna be a bear...be a grizzly." ;)
~~~~~
Have a good laugh on Maxine..
Some people can have all the lights on and still be in the dark.
I'm starting to wonder how bad four years with no president would be.
How's this for a political platform: Don't lie through your teeth.
The economy is so bad, a truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico!!
There is no vaccine against stupidity.
Congress says they are looking deeper into the Bernie Madoff scandal. Well ain't that just great. The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 TRILLION disappear!!
The economy is so bad, if the bank returns your check marked "insufficient funds", you call and ask if they meant you or them....
Did you eat an extra bowl of stupid this morning?
~~~~~
Concerning using UPC codes to find the country where the product was made: the information is misleading and unreliable, on two counts:

1. There's more than one kind of bar code in use around the world. UPC bar codes, the type most commonly used in the United States, do not typically contain a country identifier. A different type of bar code known as EAN-13 does contain a country identifier, but it's more commonly used in Europe and other countries outside the U.S.

2. Even in the case of EAN-13 bar codes, the digits associated with country of origin don't necessarily specify where the product was manufactured, but rather where the bar code itself was registered. So, for example, a product manufactured in China and sold in France could have an EAN-13 bar code identifying it as a French product.

Looking for a "Made in XYZ" label is generally more helpful, but, particularly with regard to foods and beverages, there's no sure-fire way to determine in every case where a product or its components originated. The U.S. Food & Drug Administration mandates country-of-origin labeling on many food products, but there are exceptions, most notably the entire category of "processed foods." Consumer groups are currently advocating the closure of these loopholes.
~~~~~
Steve Downey There is no such thing as an ex-Marine ~ Leroy Jethro Gibbs
~~~~~
Car Talk Status update: I think I just hit a plutonium tanker. From David Strayer's Car Talk blog, here's the latest driver distraction that manufacturers are engineering into our cars. [http://cartalk.com/ddc/?p=497]
~~~~~
H1N1 taught health officials how to better respond to flu - [MetroWest Daily News - Massachusetts] Health officials say the H1N1 flu virus will not make a comeback this fall, but the lessons learned from last year's pandemic will help them prepare for the upcoming flu season and the new school year.
http://www.metrowestdailynews.com/lifestyle/health/x1047403444/H1N1-taught-health-officials-how-to-better-respond-to-flu
~~~~~
What do you do if you're attacked by a Circus Troop?
Go for the Juggler.
~~~~~
Leif Ericson, a famous Viking explorer, returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official who apologized profusely saying, "I must have taken Leif off my census."
~~~~~
All 7 Albemarle Fire Brigade Captains Passed the Final test in Anniston AL. at the CDP taking a WMD TERT "Tactical Emergency Response Training." the CDP's Chemical, Ordnance, Biological, and Radiological Training Facility (COBRATF) is "the world's only toxic chemical training facility dedicated solely to emergency responders."
The center is the only place in the free world that uses live-agent training. [Ed.: To my knowledge, there's also a facility in Canada that conducts such training.] That's right boys and girls, if you have the right stuff, you too can walk through controlled environments filled with deadly nerve agent, while wearing a gas mask and chemical gear, of course.
~~~~~
Chuck Jackson - - The Democrats say they should have sold their policies better. They still don’t realize that the problem is their product.
~~~~~
Larry Joe Kingsbury I find myself fascinated with all the commentary on the upcoming elections that you find on virtually every television channel. From Fox News and CNN to The Comedy Channel, of all places, I'm sort of like a deer caught in the headlights with all the spin. Where the hell did journalism go in this country? What I wouldn't give for a Walter Cronkite or a Huntley & Brinkley right about now.
~~~~~
Industry groups say EPA GHG rules threaten U.S. jobs, resources - - A coalition of industry and business groups including the American Chemistry Council requested that senators prevent the Environmental Protection Agency from implementing emissions curbs on power plants and other large stationary facilities. The rules, which will take effect Jan. 2, would place "substantial costs and burdens on U.S. jobs and state resources while intruding on Congress's important leadership role in developing energy policies that reduce greenhouse-gas emissions," the groups said in a letter. The Hill/E2 Wire blog [http://thehill.com/blogs/e2-wire/677-e2-wire/126429-industry-business-groups-urge-senators-to-block-epas-greenhouse-gas-rules]
~~~~~
China, others are outpacing U.S. in clean-energy race, investors say
The U.S. is in danger of losing its lead in clean-energy technology to China and other countries if it continues to drag its feet on legislation and policy that support the renewable-energy sector, said Ravi Viswanathan, an executive of venture capital firm New Enterprise Associates. Speaking before a congressional hearing chaired by Rep. Ed Markey, D-Mass., Viswanathan said China and other countries "have outpaced the U.S. in recruiting, incenting and developing domestic manufacturing of solar, wind and battery technology." Reuters [http://af.reuters.com/article/energyOilNews/idAFN2226631320100922]
~~~~~
Sen. Inhofe says boiler rule could jeopardize 800,000 jobs
A draft report from Sen. James Inhofe, R-Okla., puts forward a list of policy grievances about the Environmental Protection Agency's climate-regulation goals, which another senator called "job-killing." "The Obama EPA favors bureaucracy and heavy-handed intervention more than jobs and growth. ... outmoded provisions of the [Clean Air Act] are no longer tools to achieve clean air, but blunt instruments for EPA to enact anti-industrial policies," Inhofe said. Meanwhile, 18 Senate Democrats have supported Republican calls for EPA to reconsider a proposal that requires expensive retrofits to curb emissions from boiler-equipped facilities. The New York Times (free registration)/GreenWire [http://www.nytimes.com/gwire/2010/09/28/28greenwire-republicans-blitz-obama-over-epas-anti-industr-84657.html]
~~~~~
Opinion: "Questionable" science fuels anti-BPA measures
Some scientific claims supporting a ban on bisphenol A rely on questionable data, according to Bob Barr, a former U.S. representative from Georgia. For example, one study injected large doses of BPA into rats, but people consume far smaller doses orally, he writes. "Recent studies are establishing clearly that efforts to ban its use are not based on real science," writes Barr. The Washington Times [http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2010/oct/5/anti-bpa-science-less-than-meets-the-eye/]
~~~~~
Opinion: Calif.'s proposed green-chemistry rules will hurt innovation
The California Department of Toxic Substances Control's proposed rules to implement the Green Chemistry Initiative will only promote uncertainty for investors and innovators, according to Robert Callahan, policy advocate at the state Chamber of Commerce. The proposed rules would give the DTSC "near limitless discretion" on regulating consumer products, Callahan writes, and no company would be able to predict if its products will be subjected to the costly review process. FoxAndHoundsDaily.com (California) [http://foxandhoundsdaily.com/blog/robert-callahan/8091-green-chemistry-more-uncertainty-california-businesses]
~~~~~
Let me get this straight . . . .

We're going to be "gifted" with a health care plan we are forced to purchase and fined if we don't, Which purportedly covers at least ten million more people, without adding a single new doctor, but provides for 16,000 new IRS agents, written by a committee whose chairman says he doesn't understand it, passed by a Congress that didn’t read it but exempted themselves from it, and signed by a President who smokes, with funding administered by a treasury chief who didn't pay his taxes, for which we’ll be taxed for four years before any “benefits” take effect, by a government which has already bankrupted Social Security and Medicare, all to be overseen by a surgeon general who is obese, and financed by a country that's broke!!!!!

What could possibly go wrong?

Maxine via Waneta
~~~~~
Energy News | Wind Turbine Projects Run Into Resistance
[http://www.haynesvillemovie.com/1478/wind-turbine-projects-run-into-resistance/]
~~~~~
What is the difference between the Swine flu and the Bird flu? For the Bird Flu you need Tweetment and for the Swine flu you need Oinkment ;-)
Thanks to George Ingram
~~~~~
Movie Reviews - - [http://www.pluggedin.com/]
~~~~~
Weekly Toll _ _ http://weeklytoll.blogspot.com/
Death In The Workplace w/News & Updates
John Donne _ ...any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.
http://weeklytoll.blogspot.com
~~~~~
The Pump Handle. A water cooler for the public health crowd.
http://scienceblogs.com/thepumphandle/
~~~~~
DarynKagan.com - -
Woman Spoils Any Pity Party
Pity Party alert! If you're having a good time feeling sorry for yourself today, you probably don't want to watch Dawn Allenbach's story. Her attitude is a buzz kill for anyone who wants to feel like a victim.
Watch Video [http://darynkagan.demo.nimbussoftware.com/heroism/2010/he_101005_spoil_pity_party.html]

Man Thanks Cop For $130 Ticket
Stephen Carroll sure wasn't happy when he received a traffic citation for not wearing his seat belt. But when that same seat belt saved Carroll's life just weeks later, he made sure to reach out and say, "Thank you!" to the police officer.
Watch Video [http://darynkagan.demo.nimbussoftware.com/heroism/2010/he_100928_thanks_for_ticket.html]

Randy Pausch's Legacy: "The Last Lecture"
Remember Randy Pausch? He was the college professor diagnosed with pancreatic cancer who gave a final lecture on how to live and how to die. Now, two years after his death, his widow shares how his legacy lives on and what she's learned in the difficult time since saying goodbye to her beloved husband.
Watch Video [http://darynkagan.demo.nimbussoftware.com/heroism/2010/he_100915_last_lecture.html]

Identical Twin Astronauts Get Ready To Meet In Space - Their fellow International Space Station astronauts might think they're seeing double when Mark and Scott Kelly meet up there
early next Spring. Get to know the amazing pair. Watch Video [http://darynkagan.demo.nimbussoftware.com/heroism/2010/he_101020_atsrtonaut_twins.html]
~~~~~
http://rationalpolitics.net/forum/index.php
~~~~~
http://kitlange.com
~~~~~
soldiersangelsforum.com
~~~~~
America is not at war. The military is at war. - - America is at the mall, or watching the movie stars. [http://icasualties.org/]
~~~~~
Each week the Defense Department highlights military personnel who have gone above and beyond in the war. [http://www.defenselink.mil/heroes/] - - Troy Scott - Awarded: The Purple Heart

"We have the world's largest, baddest army," said Major Troy Scott of the Army National Guard, while explaining how easily stereotypes against other nations' militaries can often arise. "But when you're building a coalition, you have to get past those obstacles."

MAJ Scott ‘s deployment to eastern Afghanistan in 2008- his first and for which he has received a Purple Heart, a Bronze Star, and the Army Commendation Medal with Valor for his service- was spent in the company of those whom many back home may not have expected. Two thirds of the "Herculean" Task Force he commanded were members of the Polish military brigade - not American soldiers.

MAJ Scott was assigned as Senior U.S. Advisor to the Polish Military Contingent in Afghanistan, operating as the Deputy Commander of the 1200 man Task Force White Eagle- predominately Poles- from March 2008 to October 2008. It was the only coalition battalion-size task force under the 4th Brigade Combat Team of the 101st Airborne Division.

On October 31, 2008 the Polish Military Contingent assumed responsibility of their own Brigade battle space, with MAJ Scott continuing on as advisor to the Polish brigade.

Said MAJ Scott, "Sometimes U.S. Forces, we look at ourselves- and rightly so- as a superior force." But, he explained, to watch one of our NATO partners (particularly the Poles) operate in Afghanistan and exceed expectations proved to be a tremendously gratifying experience

There has been a further impact to maintaining such a partnership as well. Keeping the Poles in Afghanistan allows the U.S. to keep 3 times the number of our soldiers out of Afghanistan.

"The value is expediential- a combat multiplier," he said.

It was MAJ Scott's job to ensure that the American expectations were understandable for the Poles, for whom English was not their second language, but their third. Scott, who had no previous experience with the Polish military or even the Polish language, observed the melding of two differing armies and cultures, fighting alongside one another for a shared goal in a foreign space.

Learning the land and history of the region was key to both MAJ Scott and his Task Force. During his deployment, his brigade participated in the largest coalition movement of personnel in Afghanistan, moving battle spaces from the Paktika province to the Ghazni province.

"You have to be a little bit politician, engineer, city planner, lawyer," described MAJ Scott.

For his service and leadership, MAJ Scott has also been recommended for the Silver Star and Distinguished Service Cross.
~~~~~
The latest from Michael Yon, the foremost “milnews” blogger on the web.
~
Greetings,

I am very proud that with my publisher we have been able to send a check for almost $5000.00 to Soldiers' Angels because you have helped by buying my new book Iraq: Inside the Inferno 2005 - 2008. You may pre-order copies of my book here [http://www.richardvigilantebooks.com/OurBooks/MichaelYon/IraqInsidetheInferno.aspx].

But we want to raise more for Soldiers' Angels because of the incredible work they do like this (please note the correction to the Daily Mail article at the bottom on my dispatch about it):

It was one of the most complex military logistical and medical operations ever undertaken – and it saved the life of a young British soldier critically injured in Afghanistan.

To read more click here [http://www.michaelyon-online.com/revealed-how-hundreds-of-military-personnel-millions-of-pounds-and-an-experimental-lung-saved-the-life-of-a-british-soldier...-shot-by-accident-in-his-own-camp.htm].

Breaking news will be on Face book [http://www.facebook.com/MichaelYonFanPage], not main website.

Major dispatches will still be published on my main website [http://www.michaelyon-online.com/].
--
Very Respectfully,
Michael Yon
Your Writer,

Please remember that this website accepts no advertisement and is dependent on your support.

PS Please sign up for my Twitter.com updates at "Michael_Yon" [http://twitter.com/Michael_Yon] (not Michael Yon).

http://www.facebook.com/#/MichaelYonFanPage?ref=sgm
~
www.michaelyon-online.com
~
Http://www.michaelyon_online.com/index.php
~~~~~
If you would like to encourage US Troops overseas, but are not sure just how to begin, visit www.anysoldier.com for ideas.
~~~~~
Video / TV We’ve Recently Watched:

Toy Story
The Big Bang Theory:
The Accidental Husband
The Women
The Love Bug
Northanger Abbey
Letters to Juliet
A Month by the Lake
My One and Only
Love Takes Wing
It Happened One Night
Forever Strong
Desk Set
The Ambassador's Daughter
Father Goose
Ball of Fire
Enchanted April
My Man Godfrey
Thomas & Friends
Going My Way
Sherlock Holmes: The Three Gables
Starman
Fat Man & Little Boy
Unfaithfully Yours
Young and Innocent
Much Ado About Nothing
Blithe Spirit
Relative Values
You're So Cupid
How to Murder Your Wife
Ballet Shoes
Legend of the Lost
James and the Giant Peach
Wallace & Gromit: The Wrong Trousers (3 episodes)
Topper Returns
The Inn of the Sixth Happiness
A Fork in the Road
The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai
Seven Samurai
Astro Boy
Little Monsters
If It's Tuesday, This Must Be Belgium
Dear John
The Mission: Special Edition
Spin
That Hamilton Woman
As You Like It
Gentlemen Prefer Blondes
Love Me or Leave Me
A Bullet for Joey
THX 1138

~~~~~
Paper Books We’ve recently read:

52 loaves : one man's relentless pursuit of truth, meaning, and a really good crust / William Alexander.
Hangman : A Decker / Lazarus novel / Faye Kellerman.
Bonhoeffer : pastor, martyr, prophet, spy / Eric Metaxas.
Lost empire / Clive Cussler with Grant Blackwood.
Three cups of tea : one man's mission to promote peace-- one school at a time / Greg Mortenson and David Oliver Relin.
Stones into schools : promoting peace with books, not bombs, in Afghanistan and Pakistan / Greg Mortenson.
Rules of Betrayal / Christopher Reich.
The Usborne first book of the piano / Eileen O'Brien and John C. Miles ; designed by Jan McCafferty, illustrated by Simone Abel ;
61 hours : a Reacher novel / Lee Child.
An impartial witness / Charles Todd.

~~~~~
Kindle books we recently read:

Soul Identity - Dennis Batchelder
Soul Intent
Worth Dying For: A Reacher Novel - Lee Child
Dead Reckoning - Ronie Kendig
And Thereby Hangs a Tale - Jeffery Archer
The Burnt House - Fay Kellerman
Hostile Intent - Michael Walsh
Hide In Plain Sight - Marta Perry

~~~~~
http://www.shelfari.com
http://www.shelfari.com/bugsbleat/shelf
~~~~~
Photos on the front of this week’s “Bleat” include - - A memory of “Air Evac 30" the AeroMedical Chopper that crashed in September, killing all three crew members. Zac at the Wildcats vs Cubs game, Dusty and the Wildcats take the field, Dusty (#33) watches the Wildcats in Panther Stadium, Dusty picking up his equipment after the game.
~~~~~
We’ve now got several addresses on the web for "Da Bleat." For the latest issue, go to http://www.bugsbleat.blogspot.com.
Our photos are posted at http://www.bugsbleatphotos.blogspot.com.
~~~~~
Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
~~~~~
Be sure and keep Dr. Fred Murphy, his family and his staff (Ann, Shelley, Glenda and Kelly) in your prayers.
~~~~~
Be sure and keep Dr. Pat Antoon and his lovely wife Mandy in your prayers.
~~~~~
Recipe(s) of the week - - potato soup

4 cups chicken broth
4 cups peeled and cubed potatoes
1/4 cup minced onion
½ teaspoon seasoning salt
1/4 teaspoon white pepper
1/4 teaspoon ground red pepper
1 (8 ounce) package cream cheese, cut into chunks


Directions:
1Combine broth, potatoes, onion, and spices.2 Boil on medium heat until potatoes are tender.3 Smash a few of the potatoes to release their starch for thickening.4 Reduce to low heat.5 Add cream cheese.6 Heat, stirring frequently, until cheese melts."
~~~~~
BreakPoint
Which God Should We Turn To?
The Restoring Honor Rally
By: Chuck Colson
September 3, 2010

A lot of people are asking me what I thought of Glenn Beck’s Restoring Honor rally.

As you know, on August 28, hundreds of thousands of people gathered on the National Mall for what organizer Glenn Beck called a “Restoring Honor” rally.

The stated goal of the rally was to “to pay tribute to America’s military personnel and others ‘who embody our nation’s founding principles of integrity, truth and honor.’” Beck told the crowd that “something beyond imagination is happening . . . America today begins to turn back to God.”

While I hope and pray that is the case, I do have some concerns.

Evangelicals figured prominently in the rally, both in the crowd and on the podium. That’s not surprising: We value truth, integrity and honor and, of course, pray for America to “turn back to God.”

But as theologian Russell Moore wrote, the sight of a “Mormon television star [standing] in front of the Lincoln Memorial and [calling] American Christians to revival” was, to put it mildly, disconcerting. Even worse, Moore wrote, was the fact that “evangelicals [are] cheering that they’ve heard the gospel, right there in the nation’s capital.”

Well, I’m not sure which gospel they heard.

Please understand, I’m not raining on anyone’s parade. And I’m not here to criticize what Beck is trying to do. I love him as a television commentator and political critic. And I believe he is a man who loves his country and wants the best for it.

But because Beck is not a Christian leader, I couldn’t help but wonder what the willingness of Christians to follow him says about the state of our own leadership.

Even setting aside his Mormonism, Beck isn’t exactly solid on issues we hold dear: the sanctity of life, the traditional family, and the erosion of religious freedom.

In Beck’s words, “we have bigger fish to fry” than these issues. He told Bill O’Reilly that America is a “symphony.” So those who raise these issues, like signers of the Manhattan Declaration, are insisting on playing their “clarinets” to detriment of the country.

It grieves me that Beck has taken this position, particularly because it’s out of step with his own church. The Mormon church has been a great ally in the fight to defend marriage.

Which leaves this question: What “God” are we supposed to “turn back” to? As Moore put it, the answer Beck gives, is, “at best, a generically theistic civil religion.”

And that’s what the Restoring Honor rally was: an appeal to civil religion. And that’s OK. Civil religion has its place. But it’s never to be confused with the real thing.

Glenn Beck is stepping into a leadership vacuum, and for that I applaud him. But folks, that means it’s time for Christians to become leaders ourselves. 2 Chronicles 7:14 tells God’s people to humble themselves, pray, seek God’s face, and turn from our wicked ways. This is the biblically prescribed way for transforming societies.

The Bible doesn’t specify how exactly God will “heal our land,” but part of the answer will be in our setting a godly example for others, and in our doing the gospel in every walk of life, and in defending truth. The power of transformed lives, of people who no longer live for themselves but for God and their neighbor, has been the way Christianity has always shaped societies throughout its history.

And that’s a power that mere civil religion cannot possess.
~~~
Looking the Other Way
A Nobel Prize for China?
By: Chuck Colson|Published: October 29, 2010 12:00 AM
Topics: Human Rights & Persecution, International Affairs

While the U.S. may say it wants to see China improve its human rights record, the Chinese government can rest easy. We don’t really mean it.

The decision last month to award Chinese dissident Liu Xiaobao the Nobel Peace Prize prompted the expected howls of protest from the Chinese government. In its eyes, Liu is a mere criminal, and those who support his efforts are meddling in China’s internal affairs.

Just as expected was the attempt by China’s trading partners, including the United States, to change the subject. We may pay lip service to human rights, including religious freedom, but in the end, what matters most is our trade relationship with China.

Then you have a fellow named Morits Skaugen, the head of a Norwegian shipping company. Writing in a Norwegian newspaper, Skaugen not only changed the subject, he stood it on its head: He argued that China itself should win the peace prize!

Skaugen called China’s economic transformation the “greatest economic experiment we have seen ever.” He noted that “we find very few markets today which are not directly or indirectly affected by what is happening in China.”

Skaugen also says that China, with some of the world’s worst air and water quality, should also get a prize for leadership in “green technology.” All of this would make the People’s Republic worthy to stand alongside the likes of Mother Theresa and Elie Wiesel.

But awarding the prize to the very regime that is holding Liu prisoner would be ridiculous by anybody’s standard.

Ridiculous--but not that different from the way global leaders, including ours, treat China.

Attorney General Holder called on China to release Liu from prison. And last year’s Nobel Laureate, President Obama, made a brief, obligatory statement. But at the same time, ambassador Huntsman was praising what he called the “dynamic of change,” a “dynamic” that has resulted in exactly zero political prisoners being released, in Beijing.

The message to the Chinese leaders is clear: Don’t take the talk about human rights too seriously. We don’t, at least not enough to risk economic ties.

The irony is that this looking-the-other-way hasn’t affected Chinese economic behavior, either. New York Times columnist and himself a Nobel Laureate, Paul Krugman, recently called Beijing a “rogue economic superpower.” He was referring to China’s blocking shipment of rare earths to Japan, which are essential in the manufacture of high technology goods.

Now comes word that China, which controls 97 percent of the market, is reducing its overall rare earth exports by 30 percent to the detriment of the rest of the world.

Add other Chinese trade and economic policies and it becomes clear that not only is so-called “realism” about China’s human rights policies cynical, it’s not even realistic.

Looking-the-other-way hasn’t secured us any economic advantages. Indeed, our own behavior has put us between a rock and a hard place. The U.S. government and the American people have spent beyond their means for years, choosing instant-gratification and debt instead of hard work and frugality.

Well, guess who owns most of our debt? That’s right. The Chinese. That kind of makes it hard to protest Chinese behavior too loudly, doesn’t it? Sadly, we are selling our moral birthright for a mess of spoiled pottage.

Further Reading and Information

China crackdown on dissidents continues, despite citizen's Nobel Peace Prize [http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/10/28/AR2010102803774.html]
Keith B. Richburg | The Washington Post | October 28, 2010

Why We Gave Liu Xiaobo a Nobel [http://www.nytimes.com/2010/10/23/opinion/23Jagland.html?_r=1&partner=rss&emc=rss]
Thorbjorn Jagland | The New York Times | October 22, 2010

God's Tea Party [http://www.amconmag.com/tactv/2010/09/02/gods-tea-party/]
Jack Hunter | The American Conservative | September 2, 2010

God, the Gospel and Glenn Beck [http://www.russellmoore.com/2010/08/29/god-the-gospel-and-glenn-beck/] Russell D. Moore | Moore to the Point | August 29, 2010

Mormons Have Mixed Views of Beck's Rise [http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/09/02/AR2010090205524.html]
Felicia Sonmez | The Washington Post | September 3, 2010

Copyright © 2010 Prison Fellowship. All Rights Reserved _ _ http://www.breakpoint.org/
~
Residents of Columbia County, Arkansas are represented in Congress by:

Senator Blanche Lambert Lincoln (D_ AR)
Phone 202_224_4843
FAX 202_228_1371
http://lincoln.senate.gov/
~
Senator Mark Pryor (D_ AR)
Phone 202_224_2353
FAX 202_228_0908
http://pryor.senate.gov/
~
Representative Michael A. Ross (D _ 04)
Phone 202_225_3772
FAX 202_225_1314
http://ross.house.gov/

Other states congresspersons can be found at: [http://www.visi.com/juan/congress/]
~~~~~
Words of the Day:
caterwaul \ KAT-uhr-wawl \ , intransitive verb;
1. To make a harsh cry.
2. To have a noisy argument.
noun:
1. A shrill, discordant sound.
from http://dictionary.reference.com/wordoftheday/
~~~~~
"To be able to fill leisure intelligently is the last product of civilization." - Bertrand Russell

"It is necessary to the happiness of man that he be mentally faithful to himself. Infidelity does not consist in believing, or in disbelieving, it consists in professing to believe what one does not believe." - Thomas Paine

"Resolve not to be poor: whatever you have, spend less. Poverty is a great enemy to human happiness; it certainly destroys liberty, and it makes some virtues impracticable, and others extremely difficult." - Samuel Johnson

"One of the symptoms of approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important, and that to take a holiday would bring all kinds of disaster." - Bertrand Russell

"He who never made a mistake never made a discovery." - Samuel Smiles

"A committee is a cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and then quietly strangled." - Barnett Cocks

"Necessity never made a good bargain."- Benjamin Franklin

"Perpetual devotion to what a man calls his business, is only to be sustained by perpetual neglect of many other things."- Robert Louis Stevenson

"Originality does not consist in saying what no one has ever said before, but in saying exactly what you think yourself."- James Stephen

"If any man tells you he loves America, yet hates labor, he is a liar. If any man tells you he trusts America, yet fears labor, he is a fool." - Abraham Lincoln

"The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug." - Mark Twain

"Education would be so much more effective if its purpose were to ensure that by the time they leave school every boy and girl should know how much they don't know, and be imbued with a lifelong desire to know it." - Sir William Haley

"Everyone has talent at twenty-five. The difficulty is to have it at fifty."- Edward Degas

"The handwriting on the wall may be a forgery." - Ralph Hodgson

"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." - George Santayana

"Why not go out on a limb? Isn't that where the fruit is?"- Frank Scully

"A typical vice of American politics is the avoidance of saying anything real on real issues." - Theodore Roosevelt

"Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power." - Abraham Lincoln

"Freedom of the press is guaranteed only to those who own one." - Abbott Liebling

"In war, there are no unwounded soldiers." - Jose Narosky

"The man who is unhappy will, as a rule, adopt an unhappy creed, while the man who is happy will adopt a happy creed; each may attribute his happiness or unhappiness to his beliefs, while the real causation is the other way round." - Bertrand Russell

"Unanimity is almost always an indication of servitude." - Charles de Remusat

"The point to remember is that what the government gives it must first take away." - John Coleman

"An army of sheep led by a lion would defeat an army of lions led by a sheep." - Arab proverb

"The world of politics is always twenty years behind the world of thought." - John Jay Chapman

"You can't build a reputation on what you are going to do." - Henry Ford

"Energy and persistence conquer all things." - Benjamin Franklin

"The happiness of a man in this life does not consist in the absence but in the mastery of his passions." - Alfred Lord Tennyson

"When in doubt, tell the truth." - Mark Twain

"Learn to say no. It will be of more use to you than to be able to read Latin." - Charles Spurgeon

"Your goals, minus your doubts, equal your reality." - Ralph Marston

"It's never too late to have a happy childhood." - Tom Robbins

"Character, the willingness to accept responsibility for one's own life, is the source from which self-respect springs." - Joan Didion

"Anger is the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind." - Evan Esar

"In the absence of clearly-defined goals, we become strangely loyal to performing daily trivia until ultimately we become enslaved by it." - Robert A. Heinlein

"Deep down, beneath all our insecurities, beneath all our hopes for and beliefs in equality, each of us believes we're better than anyone else." - Audrey Beth Stein

"Technology makes it possible for people to gain control over everything, except over technology." - John Tudor

"Let every man be respected as an individual and no man idolized." - Albert Einstein

"Technology ... the knack of so arranging the world that we don't have to experience it." - Max Frisch

"You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist." - Friedrich Nietzsche

"There must be more to life than sitting wondering if there is more to life." - Unknown

"Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted." - Albert Einstein

"A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on." - Sir Winston Churchill

"If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe." - Carl Sagan

"Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance." - Will Durant

"Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal." - Henry Ford

"In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take." - Adlai Stevenson

"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." - Albert Einstein

"Energy and persistence conquer all things." - Benjamin Franklin

"If you love someone, let them go. If they return to you, it was meant to be. If they don't, their love was never yours to begin with." - Anonymous

"Life is a solitary cell whose walls are mirrors." -Eugene O'Neil

"Most people have seen worse things in private than they pretend to be shocked at in public." - Edgar Watson Howe

"You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist." - Friedrich Nietzsche

"Words are the only things that last forever; they are more durable than the eternal hills." - William Hazlitt

"No matter how dull, or how mean, or how wise a man is, he feels that happiness is his indisputable right." - Helen Keller

"How often misused words generate misleading thoughts." - Herbert Spencer

"Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." - Abraham Lincoln

"Art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time." - Thomas Merton

"The superior man is modest in his speech, but exceeds in his actions." - Confucius

"Our obligations to our country never cease but with our lives." - John Adams

"Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd." - Voltaire

"Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it." - Andre Gide

"Repetition does not transform a lie into a truth." - Franklin Roosevelt
~~~~~
BREAKING CHRISTIAN NEWS
http://breakingchristiannews.com/

A Ballet for Life - Aimee Herd (Oct 11, 2010)
"Many of the performers and contributing artists have had abortions or their parents have had abortions, as well, making this a collaboration of men and women devoted to telling the truth of abortion to the generation behind. If abortion is still available legally, our hope is that our stories will make it unthinkable."
Read Full Story [http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=8286]

Secretariat Movie being hailed as a Winner in Reviews; Especially Appealing to Faith-based Community - Aimee Herd (Oct 4, 2010)
"Jesus… almost always responded with story—because the stories carry more truth than our philosophical arguments do." –Director Randall Wallace
Read Full Story [http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=8267]

Christian Unity, No Fear, at Love Kampala Festival with Andrew Palau - David L. Jones (Oct 5, 2010)
"Wherever there is light, darkness runs away. Wherever there is love, fear goes away. Wherever there is hope, hopelessness goes away."
Read Full Story [http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=8267]

Thief Repents after His Victim Reads the Bible to Him - Teresa Neumann (Sep 27, 2010)

He turned himself in to authorities for his crime and now faces a five-year jail sentence.
Read Full Story [http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=8246]

Power Transfer Possible in North Korea: Pray! - Jerry Dykstra (Sep 20, 2010)
"Change is likely coming to North Korea. We need to pray that the change will be a positive one for the Christians there."
Read Full Story [http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=8225]

Former President George W. Bush Helps Out Teen Challenge Facility - Teresa Neumann (Sep 20, 2010)
"His new book will be released on November 9 and he's spending the first day of the release [November 10] with Teen Challenge. That's just unbelievable. This certainly speaks to the character of our 43rd President. George W. Bush cares about the hurting."
Read Full Story [http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=8226]

Star-Trek Type Device Can Diagnose Cancer in Minutes - Teresa Neumann (Sep 7, 2010)
"There are also plans for building a version of the device for people to use at home, for example to swab a sore throat to see if it is a viral or bacterial infection."
Read Full Story [http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=8195]

Recipe for Water? Just Add Starlight - News Release (Sep 8, 2010)
"On Earth, carbon compounds and water are the key ingredients for life. Now, thanks to Herschel, we know that - the secret ingredient for water is ultraviolet light from surrounding stars."
Read Full Story [http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=8194]

The Incredible Persevering Talent of Liu Wei: No Arms, He Plays Piano with His Feet - Aimee Herd (Aug 23, 2010) -
"For people like me, there were only two options. One was to abandon all dreams, which would lead to a quick, hopeless death. The other was to struggle without arms to live an outstanding life."
Read Full Story [http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=8147]

Good News: Restraining Order on Louisiana Ultrasound Law Lifted - James Tillman (Aug 24, 2010)
"For the first time in Louisiana's history, abortionists will be required to offer women seeking an abortion the opportunity to see the ultrasound image, hear a description of the image, and receive a print-out of the ultrasound. We look forward to seeing the positive results of this legislation in our state."
Read Full Story [http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=8158]

"The 33" Chilean Miners and Their Wives Invited to the Holy Land for Christmas
Aimee Herd (Oct 25, 2010)
"Your bravery and strength of spirit, your great faith that helped you survive so long in the bowels of the earth, was an inspiration to us."
[http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=8328]

Urgent Prayer Request from YWAM Haiti
An u rgent prayer request from founder and national director of YWAM Haiti, Terry Snow. That prayer bulletin follows, thank you for praying.
From YWAM Haiti: We'd like to call people to prayer for our city and the countryside surrounding it. There seems to be an outbreak of some kind of a water-borne disease where people who contract it come down with severe diarrhea resulting in death within 24-48 hours. We do not have concrete numbers of how many have actually died to date, only scattered reports from Haitians seeking aid and purified water saying; "Many, Many, Many people are dead or sick!" The hospital in St Marc is filling up with cases and our clinic down the road has been made ready for overflow...
READ MORE AT THIS LINK: [http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=8326]

310 2nd Ave SE
Albany, Oregon 97321
541_928_2642
E-mail editor@breakingchristiannews.com
US Orders: 1_866_358_7426

><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Emailed to me another humor list (Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh List) -Tom Subscribe to Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh list at the website: Subscribe

If this was forwarded to you, please consider your own subscription to Good Clean Fun. It's free! Just send an email to: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
------------------------------------------

GCF: Insufficient Brain Activity

A scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with "IBA" or Insufficient Brain Activity, read their email with their hand on the mouse.

(Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late!)
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me from another humor list (A Joke A Day) -Tom Subscription info is at the website http://www.ajokeaday.com/
------------------------------------------

GCF: Lottery Ticket

A tightwad was convinced by a friend to buy a couple of lottery tickets. But after he won the big prize he didn't seem happy.

"What's wrong?" the friend asked. "You just became a millionaire!"

"I know," he groaned. "I can't imagine why I bought that second ticket!"
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me another humor list (Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh List) -Tom Subscribe to Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh list at the website: Subscribe
------------------------------------------

GCF: VP Moniker

The chairman of the board of our company called me into his office to tell me the good news. I was being promoted to Vice President of Corporate Research and Planning.

Of course, I was excited, but that didn't stop me from asking for my new title to be changed to Vice President of Corporate Planning and Research.

"Why?" asked the chairman.

"Because," I said, "our organization uses abbreviated job titles, and I don't want be known as VP of CRAP."
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me from another humor list (Clean Laffs) -Tom Subscribe to Clean Laffs at the website: http://www.gophercentral.com/
------------------------------------------

GCF: Figaro the Cat

Our cat, Figaro, comes home between 10 or 11 at night to eat. If he's late, I turn on the carport light and call him until he appears.

One day my daughter was explaining to a friend where we live, and her friend said, "Is that anywhere near the house where the woman stands on her steps late at night and sings opera?"
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me another humor list (Laugh & Lift Daily) -Tom To subscribe Laugh & Lift Daily, send an email to: list-subscribe@laughandlift.com
------------------------------------------

GCF: Telephone Survey

I frequently receive calls from pollsters asking me to participate in telephone surveys. One woman began with a barrage of questions.

"Wait a moment," I said. "Who are you and whom do you represent?"

She told me and immediately continued asking questions.

"What's the purpose of this survey?" I asked.

"Sir," she replied irritably, "I don't have time to answer your questions." Then she hung up.
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me another humor list (Clean Joke of the Day) -Tom Subscribe to Clean Joke of the Day by visiting the website: http://www.cleanjokeoftheday.com
------------------------------------------

GCF: The Lawyer's Plumber

A pipe burst in a lawyer's house, so he called a plumber.

The plumber arrived, unpacked his tools, did mysterious plumber-type things for a while, and handed the lawyer a bill for $600.

The lawyer exclaimed, "This is ridiculous! I don't even make that much as a lawyer!"

The plumber replied sympathetically, "Neither did I when I was a lawyer."
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me another humor list (Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh List) -Tom Subscribe to Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh list at the website: Subscribe
------------------------------------------

GCF: The Ancient Castle

A group of American tourists were being guided through an ancient castle in Europe.

"This place," the guide told them, "is 600 years old. Not a stone in it has been touched, nothing altered, nothing replaced in all those years."

"Wow," said one woman dryly, "they must have the same landlord I do."
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me from another humor list (Daily Humor) -Tom To subscribe to Daily Humor, send a blank email to: Daily-Humor-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
------------------------------------------

GCF: Emcee Blunder

The conference emcee announced, "Next we have the chief of the Minnesota State Patrol, Roger Ledding, who is here with his lovely wife, Beverly."

The chief took his place at the lectern. "I'm a little nervous," he began, "getting up before this distinguished audience and speaking today.

But not nearly as nervous as I will be tonight when I must go home with my wife, Audrey, and explain Beverly to her!"
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, Steve) -Tom
------------------------------------------

GCF: Becoming a Lawyer

There was a job opening in the country's most prestigious law firm and it finally comes down to Robert and Paul.

Both graduated magna cum laude from law school. Both come from good families. Both are equally attractive and well spoken. It's up to the senior partner to choose one, so he takes each aside and asks, "Why did you become a lawyer?" In seconds, he chooses Paul.

Baffled, Robert takes Paul aside. "I don't understand why I was rejected. When Mr. Armstrong asked me why I became a lawyer, I said that I had the greatest respect for the law, that I'd lay down my life for the Constitution and that all I wanted was to do right by my clients. What in the world did you tell him?"

"I said I became a lawyer because of my hands," Robert replies.

"Your hands? What do you mean?"

"Well, I took a look one day and there wasn't any money in either of them!"
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me from another humor list (Daily Humor) -Tom To subscribe to Daily Humor, send a blank email to: Daily-Humor-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
------------------------------------------

GCF: Very High Tide

The cruise ship docked at a Mexican port during a very high tide. Everyone on board was forced to use the ship's narrow gangplank as a passageway to the dock far below.

The staff stood motionless when a passenger in her 70's appeared at the top of the plank. There wasn't room for anyone to assist her, so she edged along slowly and finally made it to the dock safely, to everyone's relief.

As she stepped down, she turned, looked back to the top of the gangplank and shouted, "It's okay, Mother, you can come down now."
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me from another humor list (Daily Humor) -Tom To subscribe to Daily Humor, send a blank email to: Daily-Humor-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
------------------------------------------

GCF: During the Exam

During the final exam, the professor noticed that one student kept looking at his hand before writing down an answer on his test. This went on throughout the entire exam, leaving the professor no other choice than to check on the student's test-taking habit.

"Is there something interesting written on your palm?"

"Not at all, Professor. It's all pretty boring."
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me from another humor list (Daily Humor) -Tom To subscribe to Daily Humor, send a blank email to: Daily-Humor-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
------------------------------------------

GCF: Technical Support

Said to be an actual call to a computer tech-support line, and I don't doubt it.

"My computer's power just died."

"OK. Are the other computers in that room working?"

"Yes."

"What were you doing right before it went out?"

"I had just plugged my curling iron into the power strip."

"Really? What else is plugged into there?"

"Well, my radio, my space heater, my cup warmer, my printer, my monitor, and my computer."

"Did you unplug anything to plug your curling iron in?"

"Yes, my printer."

"Well, unplug the curling iron, plug the printer back in and press the button on the power strip."

"Hey! My computer is working now! Is there something wrong with the power strip?"
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me from another humor list (Daily Humor) -Tom To subscribe to Daily Humor, send a blank email to: Daily-Humor-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
------------------------------------------

GCF: Speedy Delivery

I took a package to the post office to mail the other day. The clerk said, "This will cost $2.40 for fast delivery or $1.30 for slower service."

"There is no hurry," I said, "just so the package is delivered in my lifetime."

"That will be $2.40, please."
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me another humor list (Laugh & Lift Daily) -Tom To subscribe Laugh & Lift Daily, send an email to: list-subscribe@laughandlift.com
------------------------------------------

GCF: Two-Dollar Bills

When the U.S. Mint reissued two-dollar bills, I thought they might someday become collector's items. I went to the bank and picked up a hundred, serially numbered and still in their original band. On my next trip to my parent's house, I gave the $200 to my mother and said, "Take good care of these. They might be worth something someday."

Several months later I asked Mom if she was keeping the two-dollar bills safe. "Oh, yes!" she replied. "I deposited them in the bank the day after you left."
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me another humor list (Clean Joke of the Day) -Tom Subscribe to Clean Joke of the Day by visiting the website: http://www.cleanjokeoftheday.com
------------------------------------------

GCF: True Meaning

A schoolteacher was taking her first golfing lesson.

"Is the word spelt p-u-t or p-u-t-t?" she asked the instructor.

"P-u-t-t is correct," he replied. "Put means to place a thing where you want it. Putt means merely a vain attempt to do the same thing."
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me another humor list (Good Clean Funnies List) -Tom To subscribe The Good Clean Funnies List, (not to be confused with this list, which is Good Clean Fun) send an email to: gcfl-request@gcfl.net with subject = add
------------------------------------------

GCF: Books for College

A clueless freshman was in his college campus bookstore.

Questioning the store clerk about a book for one of his classes, the clerk responded, "This book will do half the job for you."

"Good," the freshman replied. "I'll take two."
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, Alice) -Tom
------------------------------------------

GCF: CEO Blunder

The CEO was scheduled to speak at an important convention so he asked one of his employees, Jenkins, to write him a punchy, 20-minute speech. When the CEO returned from the big event, he was furious.

"What's the idea of writing me an hour-long speech?", he demanded. "Half the audience walked out before I finished."

Jenkins was baffled. "I wrote you a 20-minute speech," he replied. "I also gave you the two extra copies you asked for."
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, Ellen) -Tom
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GCF: Happy Ever After

Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating
ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a beautiful meadow near her castle.

The frog hopped into the princess's lap and said: "Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the young man that I am. Then, my dear, we can marry and live in yon castle with my
mother, where you can bear my children and serve me for the rest of your life, and feel grateful and happy doing so."

That night, as the princess dined on sauteed frog legs in a white wine sauce, she chuckled to herself and thought: "I don't think so."
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me from another humor list (Daily Humor) -Tom To subscribe to Daily Humor, send a blank email to: Daily-Humor-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
------------------------------------------

GCF: Missing Sock

I asked my wife, "Can you please help me find a match for my sock?"

She answered, "What for? Are you going to set it on fire?"

_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me another humor list (Good Clean Funnies List) -Tom To subscribe The Good Clean Funnies List, (not to be confused with this list, which is Good Clean Fun) send an email to: gcfl-request@gcfl.net with subject = add
------------------------------------------

GCF: Burglary

A burglar decided to rob the safe in a store.

On the safe door he was very pleased to find a note reading, "Please don't use dynamite. The safe is not locked. Just turn the knob."

He did so. Instantly, a heavy sandbag fell on him, the entire premises was floodlighted, and alarms started clanging.

As the police carried him out on a stretcher, he was heard moaning, "My confidence in human nature has been rudely shaken."
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, Don) -Tom
------------------------------------------

GCF: Student Essays

As an English professor, my father would often write little notes on student essays. Often he worked late, and as the hours passed, his handwriting deteriorated. One day a student came to him after class with an essay that had been returned. "Mr. McDonald," he said, "I can't make out this comment you wrote on my paper." My father took the paper and, after studying it, sheepishly replied, "It says that you should write more legibly."
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me from another humor list (Clean Laffs) -Tom Subscribe to Clean Laffs at the website: http://www.gophercentral.com/
------------------------------------------

GCF: Help Desk

Manning the computer help desk for the local school district was my first job. And though I was just an intern, I took the job very seriously. But not every caller took me seriously.

"Can I talk to a real person?" a caller asked.

"I am real," I said.

"Oh, I'm sorry," the caller said. "That was rude of me. What I meant to say was, could I talk to someone who actually knows something?"
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me from another humor list (Daily Humor) -Tom To subscribe to Daily Humor, send a blank email to: Daily-Humor-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
------------------------------------------

GCF: Hard to Tell.....

Man: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl?

Bystander: It's a girl. She's my daughter.

Man: Oh, please forgive me, sir. I had no idea you were her father.

Bystander: I'm not. I'm her mother.
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, Nina) -Tom

------------------------------------------

GCF: Diet Buddies

Mary announced that she was going to start a diet to lose some pounds she had put on recently.

"Great," Sue exclaimed. "I'm ready to start a diet too. We can be dieting buddies and help each other out. And when I feel the urge to drive out and get a burger and fries, I'll call you first."

"Wonderful," Mary replied. "I'll go with you."
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me from another humor list (Daily Humor) -Tom To subscribe to Daily Humor, send a blank email to: Daily-Humor-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
------------------------------------------

GCF: Fishing Terms Explained

Catch and Release - A conservation motion that happens most often right before the local Fish and Game officer stops a boat that has caught over its limit.

Hook - 1. A curved piece of metal used to catch fish 2. A clever advertisement to entice a fisherman to spend his life savings on a new rod and reel 3. The punch administered by said fisherman's wife after he spends their life savings (see also: Right Hook, Left Hook)

Line - Something you give your co-workers when they ask on Monday how your fishing went over the past weekend.

Lure - An object that is semi-enticing to fish, but will drive an angler into such a frenzy that he will charge his credit card to the limit before exiting the tackle shop.

Reel - A weighted object that causes a rod to sink quickly when dropped overboard.

Rod - An attractively painted length of fiberglass that keeps an angler from ever getting too close to a fish.

School - A grouping in which fish are taught to avoid your $29.99 lures and hold out for Spam instead.

Tackle - What your last catch did to you as you reeled him in, just before he wrestled free and jumped back overboard.

Tackle Box - A box shaped alarmingly like your comprehensive "first aid kit". The difference is that a tackle box contains many sharp objects, so when you reach in the wrong box blindly to get a Band-Aid, you soon need more than one.

Test - 1. The amount of strength a fishing line affords an angler when fighting fish in a specific weight range. 2. A measure of your creativity in blaming "that darn line" for once again losing the fish.
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me from another humor list (Daily Humor) -Tom To subscribe to Daily Humor, send a blank email to: Daily-Humor-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
------------------------------------------

GCF: Expert Witness

An eminent psychologist was called to testify at a trial. A severe no-nonsense professional, she sat down in the witness chair unaware that its rear legs were set precariously on the back of the raised platform.

"Will you state your name?" asked the district attorney.

Tilting back in her chair, she started to answer, but instead catapulted head-over-heels backward and landed in a stack of exhibits and recording equipment.

Everyone watched in stunned silence as she extricated herself, rearranged her disheveled dress and hair and was reseated on the witness stand.

The glare she directed at onlookers dared anyone to so much as smirk.

"Well, doctor," continued the district attorney without changing expression, "we could start with an easier question."
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, Naomi) -Tom
------------------------------------------

GCF: Fairy Tales

A little girl asked her father, "Daddy? Do all Fairy Tales begin with 'Once Upon A Time?'"

He replied, "No, there is a whole series of Fairy Tales that begin with 'If elected I promise...'"
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me another humor list (Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh List) -Tom Subscribe to Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh list at the website: Subscribe
------------------------------------------

GCF: Bedtime Attire

Frequent hand washing in my job as a medical technologist and the harsh weather combined give me very dry skin.

One night as I prepared for bed, I rubbed my hands with petroleum jelly and covered them with an old pair of white gloves. As I sat in bed reading a book with my gloves on, my husband finished showering and came into the room wearing a towel.

Drying himself off, he went to the closet, selected a tie and put it on.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Well" he replied, "if you are going to be formal, so am I."
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me from another humor list (Clean Laffs) -Tom Subscribe to Clean Laffs at the website: http://www.gophercentral.com/

------------------------------------------

GCF: Instructions?

The proud father brought home a backyard swing set for his children and immediately started to assemble it with all the neighborhood children anxiously waiting to play on it.

After several hours of reading the directions, attempting to fit bolt A into slot B, etc., he finally gave up and called upon an old handyman working in a neighboring yard.

The old-timer came over, threw the directions away, and in a short while had the set completely assembled.

It's beyond me," said the father, "how you got it together without even reading instructions."

"To tell the truth," replied the old-timer, "I can't read, and when you can't read, you've got to think."
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, Harold) -Tom
------------------------------------------

GCF: No Funds

A college student who had run out of dating funds wrote his father a note:

No money.
Not funny.
Love, Sonny.

His father wrote back:

So sad.
Too bad.
Love, Dad
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me from another humor list (Daily Humor) -Tom To subscribe to Daily Humor, send a blank email to: Daily-Humor-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
------------------------------------------
GCF: Sheep for Sale

Call to the local newspaper's classified editor:

"I have a complaint about an ad I placed."

"I'm so sorry, sir. What was the problem?"

"You'd think a newspaper in a rural community like this one would have people on staff who had spent some time on a farm. What I said was 'ewes'.
E-W-E-S."

"Pardon?"

"Ewes. It makes a difference to some people."

"I don't follow."

"The ad in the paper read: "Sheep for sale - USED."
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me from another humor list (Jokes Galore) -Tom Subscribe to Jokes Galore at the website http://www.jokesgalore.com
------------------------------------------

GCF: The Wheelbarrow

The strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workmen. After several minutes, the older worker had had enough.

"Why don't you put your money where your mouth is," he said. "I will bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that outbuilding that you won't be able to wheel back."

"You're on, old man," the braggart replied. "Let's see what you got."

The old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then, nodding to the young man, he said, "All right. Get in."
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, Guy) -Tom
------------------------------------------

GCF: Potholes

The road by my house was in bad condition. Every day I dodged potholes on the way to work, so I was relieved to see a construction crew working on the road one morning. Later, on my
way home, I noticed the men were gone and no improvement in the road. But where the crew had been working stood a new, bright-yellow sign with the words "Rough Road."
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me from another humor list (Joanna's Jokes) -Tom To subscribe to Joanna's Jokes, send a blank email to: JoannasJokes-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
------------------------------------------

GCF: Social Security Card

In Florida, an assistant U.S. Attorney, was cross-examining a defendant on trial for drug possession. A counterfeit Social Security card bearing his name had been found in his wallet when he was arrested. In the line of questioning, the U.S. Attorney reached the topic of the phony card.

"This card is in your name, correct?"

The defendant replied that it was.

"Is this a real Social Security card?"

"I certainly hope so," he replied. "I paid $50 for it."
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me from another humor list (Joanna's Jokes) -Tom To subscribe to Joanna's Jokes, send a blank email to: JoannasJokes-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
------------------------------------------

GCF: Divorcee

My dear friend, a divorcee, never remarried, and her daughter wanted to know why.

"The men I know would bring too much heavy baggage to the marriage and I simply don't want to put up with it," she explained.

Taking her mother's hand in hers, my friend's daughter said sweetly, "I hate to break the news to you, Mom, but you're not exactly carry-on yourself."
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me from another humor list (Joanna's Jokes) -Tom To subscribe to Joanna's Jokes, send a blank email to: JoannasJokes-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
------------------------------------------

GCF: Australian Bird

Driving along an outback road in Australia, I spied an exotic bird flying overhead. The creature was black, with a huge and striking red-and-gold beak.

"Hey, look! A toucan!" I yelled.

"Toucan nothin'," said the Aussie passenger. "It's a crow with its beak stuck in a McDonald's fries carton."
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me from another humor list (Joanna's Jokes) -Tom To subscribe to Joanna's Jokes, send a blank email to: JoannasJokes-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
------------------------------------------

GCF: Trouble Breathing

Dispatcher: 9-1-1

Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath. Darn ... I think I'm going to pass out.

Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?

Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster.

Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?

Caller: No

Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?

Caller: Running from the Police.
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, David) -Tom
------------------------------------------

GCF: Dented Bumper

Recently, my husband put his car in reverse and accidentally drove it into a wall. He took it to his mechanic, who replaced the dented bumper.

A few days later, he did it again. "I'm so embarrassed," he moaned, reaching for the phone.

"Why not tell him it was me this time?" I suggested.

"Maybe I will," he said while dialing. "It worked the last time."
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me from another humor list (Joanna's Jokes) -Tom To subscribe to Joanna's Jokes, send a blank email to: JoannasJokes-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
------------------------------------------

GCF: Aerobics Instructor

The first time I met my wife, she was an intense aerobics instructor at my health club and I was an out-of-shape new member. After one grueling workout, I gasped, "This is really helping me get toned."
She looked me up and down. Feeling self-conscious, I added, "Big men run in my family."

She raised an eyebrow. "Apparently not enough."
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me from another humor list (Joanna's Jokes) -Tom To subscribe to Joanna's Jokes, send a blank email to: JoannasJokes-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
------------------------------------------

GCF: Wrapping Paper

A fun fact about wrapping paper.....

Do you know how much wrapping paper is on the average roll?

Four inches less than you need.
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, Vicki) -Tom
------------------------------------------

GCF: Amazingly Fit

Five mornings a week, my husband goes to the health club, gets on the stair-stepper, sets the timer, and buries his nose in a book.
Recently, he noticed an amazingly fit middle-aged woman who seemed to run circles around everyone, took few breaks, and rarely even broke a sweat.

"It's not fair," he complained. "By the time I'm dragging myself off to the showers, she's hopping back onto the stepper for another session."

One day he came home with a sheepish grin. "Well," he said, "I just
found out -- they're identical twins."
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me from another humor list (Clean Laffs) -Tom Subscribe to Clean Laffs at the website: http://www.gophercentral.com/
------------------------------------------

GCF: Love and War

My grandmother told me how she ended up marrying Grandpa. She was in her 20's, and the man she was dating left for war. "We were in love," she recalled, "and wrote to each other
every week. It was during that time that I discovered how wonderful your grandfather was."

"Did you marry Grandpa when he came home from the war?" I asked.

"Oh, I didn't marry the man who wrote the letters. Your grandfather was the mailman."
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me from another humor list (Daily Humor) -Tom To subscribe to Daily Humor, send a blank email to: Daily-Humor-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
------------------------------------------

GCF: Manager

The manager at the restaurant where I worked was a friendly, jovial sort. But there was one subject you didn't dare discuss in front of him, his height. Or, should I say, his very obvious lack of it.

One day he stormed through the front door and announced angrily, "Someone just picked my pocket!"

Most of my fellow waitresses didn't say anything, but finally Marilyn just had to blurt out, "How could anyone stoop so low?"
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me from another humor list (Daily Humor) -Tom To subscribe to Daily Humor, send a blank email to: Daily-Humor-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
------------------------------------------
GCF: The Most Beautiful Thing

The English test had only one question: "Write an essay on 'The Most Beautiful Thing I Ever Saw'".

One of the students finished his essay in less than a minute. It read in its entirety:

"The most beautiful thing I ever saw was just too beautiful for words."

He got the only A in the class.
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me from another humor list (A Joke A Day) -Tom Subscription info is at the website http://www.ajokeaday.com/
------------------------------------------

GCF: Swiss Cheese

A family was having dinner, which included some Swiss Cheese.

The little boy said, "Dad I don't like the holes in the cheese!"

"Well son, eat the cheese and leave the holes on the side of the plate."
_ ____________________________ _
Emailed to me from another humor list (Daily Humor) -Tom To subscribe to Daily Humor, send a blank email to: Daily-Humor-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
------------------------------------------

GCF: The Operation

An older gentleman needed surgery. His son was a renowned surgeon. The man insisted that his son perform the operation.

As he was about to get the anesthesia he asked to speak to his son.

"Yes, Dad, what is it?"

"Don't be nervous, son, Do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me, your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife."
_ ____________________________ _
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / I believe five out of four \ /
\ _/people have trouble with fractions.\_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / I don't suffer from stress. \ /
\ _/ I'm a carrier. \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / If at first you don't succeed, \ /
\ _/ try again. Then quit. \_ /
/ / No use being a darn fool about it. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / Peak mental activity happens \ \_/ ////
\ / between the ages of 4 and 18. \ /
\ _/ At 4 we know all the questions, \_ /
/ / and at 18 we know all the answers. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / The earth is like a \ /
\ _/ tiny grain of sand, \_ /
/ / only much, much heavier. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / If Wal-Mart is lowering \ \_/ ////
\ / prices every day, \ /
\ _/ how come nothing in \_ /
/ / the store is free yet? \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / If Wal-Mart is lowering \ \_/ ////
\ / prices every day, \ /
\ _/ how come nothing in \_ /
/ / the store is free yet? \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Tact is the art of making \ /
\ _/ guests feel at home \_ /
/ / when that's where you wish they were. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / I'm addicted to placebos. \ \_/ ////
\ / I'd give them up, but \ /
\ _/ it wouldn't make any difference. \_ /
/ / --Steven Wright \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / Why do toasters always have a \ \_/ ////
\ / setting that burns the toast \ /
\ _/ to a horrible crisp, which \_ /
/ / no decent human being would eat? \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Don't be irreplaceable. \ /
\ _/ If you can't be replaced, \_ /
/ / you can't be promoted. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / "Some days you're the dog, \ /
\ _/ some days you're the hydrant." \_ /
/ / -- Unknown \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / There is always free \ /
\ _/ cheese in a mousetrap. \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / How do "Keep off the grass" \ /
\ _/ signs get where they are? \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / People will accept your ideas \ /
\ _/much more readily if you tell them \_ /
/ / that Benjamin Franklin said it first. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / Women will never be equal to \ \_/ ////
\ / men until they can walk down the\ /
\ _/ street with a bald head & a beer \_ /
/ / gut, & still think they are beautiful.\ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Did you know that \ /
\ _/ "verb" is a noun? \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / The only thing so simple \ /
\ _/ that a child can operate it \_ /
/ / is a grandparent. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Climate is what you expect. \ /
\ _/ Weather is what you get. \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / "I wish there was a knob \ \_/ ////
\ / on the TV to turn up the \ /
\ _/ intelligence. There's a knob \_ /
/ / called 'brightness' but it \ \
doesn't work." - Gallagher
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Warning! Do not look at \ /
\ _/ laser with remaining eye. \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ /We blame fate for other accidents\ /
\ _/ but we feel personally responsible\_ /
/ / when we make a hole in one \ \
on the golf course.
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / If work is so terrific, \ /
\ _/ how come they have to pay \_ /
/ / you to do it? \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Back the Metric System \ /
\ _/ every inch of the way! \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ /One good thing about being wrong \ /
\ _/ is the joy it brings to others. \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / I married Miss Right. \ /
\ _/ I just didn't know her \_ /
/ / first name was Always. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Just think, in a few million \ /
\ _/ years, Barney will be motor oil. \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / You know you are getting \ \_/ ////
\ / older when you walk with \ /
\ _/ your head held high... \_ /
/ / trying to get used to your bifocals. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / ALWAYS REMEMBER ... \ /
\ _/ There is No Such Thing as \_ /
/ / Government Money, only Taxpayer Money.\ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / The first sign of a child's \ /
\ _/ maturity is the discovery that \_ /
/ /the volume knob also turns to the left.\ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Broken promises don't upset me. \ /
\ _/ I just think, \_ /
/ / why did they believe me? \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Hard work doesn't harm anyone, \ /
\ _/ but I don't want to take chances. \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Managing programmers \ /
\ _/ is like herding cats. \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Cross country skiing is great \ /
\ _/ if you live in a small country. \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / It doesn't matter \ /
\ _/ if you win or lose, \_ /
/ / until you lose. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / You can always identify \ /
\ _/ an intelligent person. \_ /
/ / Their view is the same as yours. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / I was married by a judge. \ /
\ _/ I should have asked for a jury. \_ /
/ / ---George Burns \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Cats are smarter than dogs. \ /
\ _/ You can't get eight cats to \_ /
/ / pull a sled through snow. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / 1. Circular Definition: \ \_/ ////
\ / see Definition, Circular. \ /
\ _/ 2. Definition, Circular: \_ /
/ / see Circular Definition. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / The only cure for insomnia \ /
\ _/ is to get more sleep. \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / Give a man a fish \ \_/ ////
\ / and you feed him for a day; \ /
\ _/ teach him to use the Internet \_ /
/ / and he won't bother you for weeks. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Money doesn't bring you \ /
\ _/ happiness, but it enables you \_ /
/ / to look for it in more places. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / \ /
\ _/ IRS -- Be Audit You Can Be. \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Help stamp out and \ /
\ _/ eradicate superfluous redundancy. \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / How come wrong numbers \ /
\ _/ are never busy? \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Murphy's Law isn't recursive. \ /
\ _/ Washing your car to \_ /
/ / make it rain doesn't work. \ \
_ ____________________________ _
/ )| Thomas S. Ellsworth |( \
/ / | tellswor@slonet.org | \ \
_( (_ | http://www.kcbx.net/~tellswor| _) )_
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_| ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
A lonely bachelor wanted some company so the bought a centipede and put him in a small box in his apartment.
That evening, he decided to go out and said to the centipede; "Want to grab a drink?"
But there was no answer from the box.
A few minutes later, he asked again -- still no reply.
Finally, he hollers, "Hey! Do you want to get a drink?"

"I heard you the first time!" says a small, irritated voice in the box. "I'm putting my shoes on!"
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
The local minister of a large congregation was having church services early one Sunday morning. As he was doing so, in walked Satan dressed to the hilt. Fire was shooting out of his eyes, smoke was coming out of his nostrils, and he left burning footprints wherever he walked. The members of the congregation were so alarmed that they all ran out of the church in hopes of saving their souls.

But in the corner sat a slim little old man in his eighties. Satan walked up to him with fire all around him. "Are you not afraid of me?" Satan said in a deep voice.

"No, I am not," said the old man calmly.

"And why not?" asked Satan.

The old man looked at him and said, "I have been married to your sister for 60 years!"

Received from herm.
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
The Singing Anesthesiologists - This one is just too funny! Listen carefully to the words!
These singers are all Anesthesiologists in Minnesota and they can really sing.
Here they sing "Waking up is hard to do"
click on: [http://nottotallyrad.blogspot.com/2009/11/waking-up-is-hard-to-do.html]
Thanks to Waneta
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Paraprosdokian Sentences - FYI . . .Definition:
- A 'paraprosdokian' is a figure of speech that uses an unexpected ending to a series or phrase.
It can be used for joking or for dramatic effect.
- Figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation.

Ø Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

Ø I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Ø The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

Ø If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

Ø We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

Ø Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Ø The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Ø Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

Ø To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

Ø How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Ø Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.

Ø I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.

Ø Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR".

Ø I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

Ø Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

Ø Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

Ø You do not need a parachute to skydive. But, you do need a parachute to skydive twice.

Ø The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

Ø Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

Ø A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to "hell" in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

Ø Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.

Ø I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.

Ø Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

Ø I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

Ø I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.

Ø You're never too old to learn something stupid.

Ø To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

Ø Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

Ø Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.

Ø A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

Ø If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?

Thanks to Waneta
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $7000 per month.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I'm doing.

I joined a health club last year. Spent about 400 Bucks.
Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there.

Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise', I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

The advantage of exercising every day is so when you die, they'll say, "Well, he looks good doesn't he."

If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

I know I got a lot of exercise the last few years,...... Just getting over the hill.

We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our heads. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Every time I start thinking too much about how I look, I just find a Happy Hour, and by the time I leave, I look just fine.
Really.... It's true

Thanks to Waneta
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Learn from your elders

A lawyer and a senior citizen are sitting next to each other on a long flight.

The lawyer is thinking that seniors are so dumb that he could get one over on them easy.

So the lawyer asks if the senior would like to play a fun game.

The senior is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks.

The lawyer persists saying that the game is a lot of fun. I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5. Then you ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500, he says.

This catches the senior's attention and to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.

The lawyer asks the first question. 'What's the distance from the Earth to the Moon?'

The senior doesn't say a word, but reaches into his pocket, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.

Now it's the senior's turn. He asks the lawyer, 'What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?'

The lawyer uses his laptop and searches all references he could find on the Net.

He sends e-mails to all the smart friends he knows; all to no avail. After an hour of searching, he finally gives up.

He wakes the senior and hands him $500. The senior pockets the $500 and goes right back to sleep.

The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He wakes the senior up and asks, 'Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?'

The senior reaches into his pocket, hands the lawyer $5 and goes back to sleep.

Thanks To Waneta
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Congratulating a friend after her son and daughter got married within a month of each other, a woman asked, "What kind of boy did your daughter marry?"

"Oh, he's wonderful," gushed the mother. "He lets her sleep late, wants her to go to the beauty parlor regularly, and insists on taking her out to dinner every night."

"That's sounds lovely," said the woman. "What about your son?"

"I'm not so happy about that," the mother sighed. "His wife sleeps late, spends all her time in the beauty parlor, and makes them eat take-out meals!"
~
There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.

"Well, whatcha gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears.

"Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can't stand to see a man crying."

"This is the worst day of my life," I say. "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I

found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found the papers where my wife filed for a divorce and then my dog bit me."

"So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all, I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve; then you, you jerk, show up and drink the whole thing!

"But enough about me, how's your day going?"

Thanks to Waneta
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Two vampire bats are going for their midnight feed.

After an hour or so, one bat gets tired of looking and goes home with no blood.

The other bat comes home with blood dripping from its mouth.
The first bat says enviously, "Where did you get all that blood from?"

The second bat replies, "Follow me. I'll show you."

After a while the second bat leads them to a cave. He says,
"You see that wall over there?"

The hungry bat excitedly says, "Yes!"

Other bat says, "I didn't."

(_:][:_)

Fred collected lots of money from trick-or-treating and he went to the candy store to buy some chocolate.

"You should give that money to charity," said the sales girl.

Fred thought for a moment and said, "No, I'll buy the chocolate. You give the money to charity."

(_:][:_)

Showing his friend around his home, Jennings pointed out all of the collectibles he and his wife had acquired over their long years of marriage.

"The day before I die, I'd like to sell every piece we've got just to see how much it's all worth."

"Well," his friend replied, "since you couldn't possibly know the day before you're going to die, you'll never be able to sell!"

"And that's where you're wrong," the man smiled. "If I sell it, my wife would kill me!"

(_:][:_)

"Golden, Ripe, Boneless Bananas, 39 Cents A Pound." - Ad in the "Missoulian" by Orange Street Food Farm

"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious." - Alan Minter, Boxer

"I think that the film Clueless was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness." - Alicia Silverstone, Actress

"How to store your baby walker: First, remove baby." - Anonymous Manufacturer

"This is no longer a slum neighborhood. I haven't heard of a Cubs fan being shot in a long time." - Anonymous Wrigley Field Neighbor, Chicago, IL

"During the scrimmage, Tarkanian paced the sideline with his hands in his pockets while biting his nails." - AP report describing Fresno State basketball coach Jerry Tarkanian

"Two grand slams in a week - man, that's seven or eight ribbies right there." - Bill Madlock, Baseball broadcaster

"Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl." - Bill Peterson, football coach

(_:][:_)

Why do programmers always get Christmas and Halloween mixed up?

Because DEC 25 = OCT 31.

(For the non-geeks, DEC means decimal, and OCT means octal.)

(_:][:_)

Sitting at a table in the clubhouse after a game, Joe said to a fellow club member, "I'm not about to play golf with Jim Walsh anymore. He cheats."

"Why do you say that?"

"Well, he found his lost ball two feet from the green."

"That's possible."

"Not when I had it in my pocket!"

(_:][:_)

The local minister of a large congregation was having church services early one Sunday morning. As he was doing so, in walked Satan dressed to the hilt. Fire was shooting out of his eyes, smoke was coming out of his nostrils, and he left burning footprints wherever he walked. The members of the congregation were so alarmed that they all ran out of the church in hopes of saving their souls.

But in the corner sat a slim little old man in his eighties. Satan walked up to him with fire all around him. "Are you not afraid of me?" Satan said in a deep voice.

"No, I am not," said the old man calmly.

"And why not?" asked Satan.

The old man looked at him and said, "I have been married to your sister for 60 years!"

(_:][:_)

It was quite some time ago when I met Salvador Dali for the first and only time.

I remember being introduced by one of my old friends to the great artist. He was sitting at his desk, and it looked as if he were going to draw something. When he didn't respond, my friend told me he was deep in thought, trying to come up with his next piece.

Overwhelmed that I was watching the surrealist genius in the process of creating, I yelled out: "Will he, Dali, doodle?
Golly, what a day!"

(_:][:_)

Husband: "The bank just returned this check."

Wife: "Isn't that nice of them? What can we buy with it this time?"

(_:][:_)

Great Truths that Adults Have Learned

1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.

2) Wrinkles don't hurt.

3) Families are like fudge -- mostly sweet, with a few nuts.

4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.

5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.

6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.

(_:][:_)

A college student at a recent football game challenged a senior citizen sitting next to him, saying it was impossible for their generation to understand his.

"You grew up in a different world," the student said loud enough for the whole crowd to hear. "Today we have television, jet planes, space travel, man has walked on the moon, our spaceships have visited Mars, we even have nuclear energy, electric and hydrogen cars, computers with light-speed processing ... and uh...."

Taking advantage of a pause in the student's litany, the old geezer said, "You're right. We didn't have those things when we were young; so we invented them, you little twit! What are YOU doing for the next generation?"

(_:][:_)

In the not too distant past--
I remember very well--
Grandmas tended to their knitting
And their cookies were just swell.

They were always at the ready
When you needed some advice
And their sewing (I can tell you)
Was available--and nice.

Well Grandma's not deserted you,
She dearly loves you still,
You just won't find her cooking
But she's right there at the till.

She thinks about you daily
You haven't been forsook.
Your photos are quite handy
In her Pentium notebook.

She scans your artwork now, though,
And combines it with cool sounds
To make electronic greetings;
She prints pictures by the pounds.

She's right there when you need her
You really aren't alone.
She's out now with her "puter" pals
But she took her new cell phone.

You can also leave a message
On her answering machine
Or page her at the fun meet
She's been there since nine-fifteen.

Yes, the world's a very different place,
There is no doubt of that,
So "E" her from her web page,
Or join her in a chat.

She's joined the electronic age
And it really seems to suit her,
So don't expect the same old gal,
'cause Grandma's gone "Computer."

(_:][:_)

A flying saucer was low on fuel, so it landed near a local gas station. On its side were the letters "UFO." The gas station attendant was stunned, but his curiosity got the best of him.

"Does that stand for Unidentified Flying Object?" he asked.

"No," one of the other-worldly travelers responded. "It stands for 'Unleaded Fuel Only.'"

(_:][:_)

"Boys and girls, what do we know about God?"

A hand shot up in the air. "He is an artist!" said the kindergarten boy.

"Really? How do you know?" the teacher asked.

"You know - Our Father, whose art's in Heaven..."

(_:][:_)

Favorite Hymns

The Dentist's hymn: Crown Him with Many Crowns

The Weatherman's hymn: There Shall Be Showers of Blessings

The Contractor's hymn: The Church's One Foundation

The Tailor's Hymn: Holy, Holy, Holy

The Golfer's Hymn: There Is a Green Hill Far Away

The Politician's Hymn: Standing on the Promises

The Optometrist's Hymn: Open My Eyes that I May See

The IRS Agent's Hymn: I Surrender All

The Gossip's Hymn: Pass It On

The Electrician's Hymn: Send the Light

The Shopper's Hymn: Sweet By and By

============

For those who drive, if you must speed on the highway, please sing these.....

45mph: God Will Take Care of You

55mph: Guide Me, O thou Great Jehovah

65mph: Nearer My God to Thee

75mph: Nearer Still Nearer

85mph: This World Is Not My Home

95mph: Lord, I'm Coming Home

Over 100 mph: Precious Memories

(_:][:_)

"I'm so old they've canceled my blood type." (Bob Hope)

"As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two." (Sir Norman Wisdom)

"Yes, time flies. And where did it leave you? Old too soon ... smart too late." (Mike Tyson)

"You know you're getting fat when you can pinch an inch on your forehead." (John Mendoza)

"As we grow older, our bodies get shorter and our anecdotes longer." (Robert Quillen)

"People say that age is just a state of mind. I say it's more about the state of your body." (Geoffrey Parfitt)

(_:][:_)

Exam Assistance

In the examination paper, the professor wanted us to sign a form stating that we had not received any outside assistance. Unsure of whether he should sign the form, a student stated that he had prayed for the assistance of God.

The professor carefully studied the answer script and then said, "You can sign it with a clear conscience. God did not assist you."

(_:][:_)

There were only two people in line ahead of me at the electronics store, yet the wait was dragging on forever. Finally the customer behind me muttered, "Mr. Hare must be on vacation."

Only then did I notice the name tag on the man at the register. It read: "Mr. Turtle, Sales Associate."

(_:][:_)

At a local church, the members take pride in the reverent behavior of the children during the sermons.

Asked how they engendered this profound respect for the Almighty, one elder explained to me:

"In each batch of new Sunday schoolers, I casually mention that we had to fire the artist who made the stained glass roof panels. I say he got fired for putting bad words in some of the artwork. Now, when energetic little boys get bored, they spend their time staring straight up!"

(_:][:_)

One afternoon while I was visiting my library, I noticed a group of preschoolers gathered for story time. The book they were reading was, "There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly."

After the librarian finished the first page, she asked the children, "Do you think she'll die?"

"Nope," a little girl in the back said. "I saw this last night on 'Fear Factor.'"

(_:][:_)

My teenager was headed to school one morning when I told him that the neck tag on his shirt was hanging out.

"I know," he replied. "It's a fad me and some of the guys started."

Weeks later, as the style persisted, I commented, "I can't stand it! Every time I see that, I want to fix it for you." I gently tucked the tag in place and rumpled his hair.

"Yeah," he said smiling slyly. "All the girls do, too."

(_:][:_)

A man goes to the confessional. "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned."

"What is your sin, my child?" the priest asks.

"Well," the man starts, "I used some horrible language this week, and I feel absolutely terrible."

"When did you do use this awful language?" asks the priest.

"I was golfing and hit an incredible drive that looked like it was going to go over 250 yards, but it struck a phone line that was hanging over the fairway and fell straight down to the ground after going only about 100 yards."

"Is that when you swore?"

"No, Father," replies the man. "After that, a squirrel ran out of the bushes and grabbed my ball in his mouth and began to run away."

"Is THAT when you swore?" asks the priest again.

"Well, no," says the man. "You see, as the squirrel was running, an eagle came down out of the sky, grabbed the squirrel in his talons, and began to fly away!"

"Is THAT when you swore?" asks the amazed priest.

"No, not yet," the man replies. "As the eagle carried the squirrel away in his claws, it flew toward the green. And as it passed over a bit of forest near the green, the squirrel dropped my ball."

"Did you swear THEN?" asks the now impatient priest.

"No, because as the ball fell, it struck a tree, bounced through some bushes, careened off a big rock, and rolled through a sand trap onto the green and stopped within six inches of the hole."

"You missed the putt, didn't you?" sighs the priest.

(_:][:_)

Ol' Fred had been a faithful Christian and was in the hospital, near death. The family called their preacher to stand with them.

As the preacher stood next to the bed, Ol' Fred's condition appeared to deteriorate and he motioned frantically for something to write on. The pastor lovingly handed him a pen and a piece of paper, and Ol' Fred used his last bit of energy to scribble a note, then suddenly died. The preacher thought it best not to look at the note at that time, so he placed it in his jacket pocket.

At the funeral, as he was finishing the message, he realized that he was wearing the same jacket that he was wearing when Ol' Fred died. He said, "You know, Ol' Fred handed me a note just before he died. I haven't looked at it, but knowing Fred, I'm sure there's a word of inspiration there for us all."

He opened the note and read, "Please step to your left--you're standing on my oxygen tube!"

(_:][:_)

Oh, to Be a Kid Again

Decisions were made by saying "eeny-meeny-miney-mo."

Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, "Do over!"

"Race issue," meant arguing about who ran the fastest.

Money issues were handled by whoever was the banker in "Monopoly."

Catching fireflies could happily occupy an entire evening.

It wasn't odd to have two or three "best" friends.

Being old referred to anyone over 20.

The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was cooties.

It was magic when Dad would "remove" his thumb.

It was unbelievable that dodge ball wasn't an Olympic event.

Having a weapon in school meant being caught with a slingshot.

Nobody was prettier than Mom.

Scrapes and bruises were kissed and made better.

It was a big deal to finally be tall enough to ride the "big people" rides at the amusement park.

Getting a foot of snow was a dream come true.

Abilities were discovered because of a "double-dog-dare."

Saturday morning cartoons weren't 30-minute ads for action figures.

No shopping trip was complete unless a new toy was brought home.

"Oly-oly-oxen-free" made perfect sense.

Spinning around, getting dizzy, and falling down would cause giggles.

The worst embarrassment was being picked last for a team.

War was a card game.

Water balloons were the ultimate weapon.

Baseball cards in the spokes transformed any bike into a motorcycle.

Taking drugs meant orange-flavored chewable aspirin.

Ice cream was considered a basic food group.

Older siblings were the worst tormentors but also the fiercest protectors.

(_:][:_)

While reading a meter for the power company, I noticed that a bush at one house was sculpted in the shape of a duck. Then I read the customer's name: Quackenbush.

(_:][:_)

Did you hear about the lawyer on vacation whose sailboat capsized in dangerous, shark-infested waters?

He surprised his traveling companions by volunteering to swim to the far-off shore for help. As he swam, his companions were startled by the appearance of two dorsal fins -- great white sharks, heading straight toward the lawyer.

To their surprise, the sharks allowed the lawyer to take hold of their fins, and they escorted him safely to shore.

When the lawyer returned with help, his companions asked him how he had managed such an incredible feat. The lawyer answered, "Professional courtesy."

(_:][:_)

Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks. Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat.

The waiter became quite concerned and marched over and told them, "You can't eat your own sandwiches in here!"

The attorneys looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders, and then exchanged sandwiches.

(_:][:_)

Golf

A "gimme" can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers, neither of whom can putt very well.

An interesting thing about golf is that no matter how badly you play, it is always possible to get worse.

Golf's a hard game to figure. One day you'll go out and slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps, and miss every green. The next day you'll go out and for no reason at all you'll really stink.

If your best shots are the practice swing and the "gimme putt," you might wish to reconsider this game.

Golf is the only sport where the most feared opponent is you.

Golf is like marriage: If you take yourself too seriously it won't work, and both are expensive.

The best wood in most amateurs' bags is the pencil.

(_:][:_)

Howard County police officers still write their reports by hand. The data is entered later into their database by a clerk.

One theft report stated that a farmer had lost 2,025 pigs. Thinking that to be an error, the clerk called the farmer directly.

"Is it true, Mr. Cates, that you lost 2,025 pigs?" she asked.

"Yeth," lisped the farmer. Being an Arkansas girl herself, the clerk entered:

"Subject lost two sows and twenty-five pigs."

(_:][:_)

The first mate on a ship decided to celebrate with a bit of stowed-away rum. He got so drunk that he was still a little drunk the next morning. Later in the day, when the first mate had sobered up, he looked in the ship's log. He read the captain's entry for the day: "The first mate was drunk today."

"Captain, please don't leave that in the log," the mate said. "This could add months or years to my becoming a captain myself."

"Well, is it true?" asked the captain, knowing full well it was.

"Yes, it's true," admitted the mate.

"If it's true, it has to stay in the log. That's the rule. If it's true, it goes in the log. End of discussion!" said the captain sternly.

Weeks later, it was the first mate's turn to make the log entry. The first mate wrote: "The ship seems to be in good shape. The captain was sober today."

(_:][:_)

I have a reputation at work for being a strict boss.

One day I was in the break room with another manager. I reached into the refrigerator for my lunch, which was packed in an Ace Hardware paper bag. My co-worker stopped mid-bite and stared at me, looking a little tense. When I pulled my sandwich out of the bag, he sighed in relief.

"What's the matter?" I asked him.

"Uh, nothing," he replied, "I was beginning to think you really do eat nails for lunch."

(_:][:_)

Computer users are divided into three types: Novice, Intermediate, and Expert.

Novice User - Someone who is afraid that simply pressing a key might break a computer.

Intermediate User - Someone who doesn't know how to fix a computer after pressing the key that broke it.

Expert User - Someone who presses the key that breaks someone else's computer.

(_:][:_)

The telephone solicitor selling basement waterproofing must have thought she'd died and gone to heaven when she reached my very polite and patient son on the phone. At the end of her long sales pitch, she asked, "Do you mind if we send out someone to give you an estimate?"

"Not at all," my son said.

"When would be a good time?" she asked.

My son answered, "Just as soon as I dig a basement."

(_:][:_)

On a business trip to India, I arrived at the airport in Delhi and took a taxi to my hotel, where I was greeted by my hospitable Indian host.

The cab driver requested the equivalent of eight dollars U.S. for the fare. It seemed reasonable, so I started to hand him the money. But my host grabbed the bills and initiated a verbal assault upon the cabby, calling him a worthless parasite and a disgrace to their country for trying to overcharge visitors. My host threw half the amount at the driver and told him never to return. As the taxi sped off, my host gave me the remaining bills and asked, "How was your trip?"

"Fine ... until you chased the cab away with my luggage in the trunk."

(_:][:_)

A Plausible Explanation?

One day, Adam sat outside the Garden of Eden shortly after eating the apple and wondered about men and women. So, looking up to the heavens, he said, "Excuse me, God, can I ask you a few questions?"

God replied, "Go on, Adam, but be quick. I have a world to create."

So Adam said, "When you created Eve, why did you make her body so curved and tender unlike mine?"

"I did that, Adam, so that you could love her."

"Oh, well then, why did you give her long, shiny, beautiful hair, and not me?"

"I did that, Adam, so that you could love her."

"Oh, well then, why did you make her so stupid? Certainly not so that I could love her?"

"Well, Adam, no. I did that so that she could love you."

(_:][:_)

Our local paper runs a popular column called "10 Questions" that spotlights people who live in our community.

In addition to the usual inquiries about occupation and age, people are asked questions that give a snapshot of their personalities.

Recently one woman was asked, "What's the strangest thing you ever bought?"

She answered, "Dog toothpaste."

Next question: "What is the most common thing people say to you?"

Her answer: "Where did you get such white teeth?"

(_:][:_)

Here is a purported-to-be-true story someone found regarding exams at Cambridge University. It seems that during an examination one day, a bright young student popped up and asked the proctor to bring him cakes and ale. The following dialog ensued:

Proctor: I beg your pardon?

Student: Sir, I request that you bring me cakes and ale.

Proctor: Sorry, no.

Student: Sir, I really must insist. I request and require that you bring me cakes and ale.

At this point, the student produced a copy of the four hundred-year-old Laws of Cambridge, written in Latin and still nominally in effect, and pointed to the section that read (roughly translated): "Gentlemen sitting examinations may request and require cakes and ale." Pepsi and hamburgers were judged the modern equivalent, and the student sat there, writing his examination and happily eating and slurping away.

Three weeks later, the student was fined five pounds for not wearing a sword to the examination.

(_:][:_)

New World Order virus: Probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people really mad just thinking about it.

Federal Bureaucrat virus: Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of your computer.

Texas virus: Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file.

Adam and Eve virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.

Congressional virus: The computer locks up and screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.

Airline virus: You're in Dallas but your data is in Singapore.

Freudian virus: Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own motherboard.

Public Television virus: Your programs stop every few minutes to ask for money.

Elvis virus: Your computer gets fat, slow, and lazy, then self-destructs, only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations across rural America.

Nike virus: Just does it.

Congressional virus #2: Runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously, but it doesn't allow the user to accomplish anything.

Star Trek virus: Invades your system in places where no virus has gone before.

Health Care virus: Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong, and sends you a bill for $4,500.

(_:][:_)

At the Henry Street Hebrew School, the rabbi finished the day's lesson. It was now time for the usual question period.

"Rabbi," asked little Melvin, "there's something I need to know."

"What's that, my child?" asked the rabbi.

"Well, according to the Scriptures, the Children of Israel crossed the Red Sea, right?"

"Right."

"And the Children of Israel beat up the Philistines, right?"

"Uh--right."

"And the Children of Israel built the Temple, right?"

"Again you are correct."

"And the Children of Israel fought the Egyptians, and the Children of Israel fought the Romans, and the Children of Israel were always doing something important, right?"

"All that is correct," agreed the rabbi. "So what's your question?"

"What I need to know is this," demanded Melvin. "What were all the grown-ups doing?"

(_:][:_)

This is why "Sports Scholarship" is an oxymoron . . .

"You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle."
- Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach

"That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."
- Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker

"You guys line up alphabetically by height."
- Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach

"I play football. I'm not trying to be a professor. The tests don't seem to make sense to me, measuring your brain on stuff I haven't been through in school."
- Clemson recruit Ray Forsythe, who was ineligible as a freshman because of academic requirements

"I know the Virginia players are smart because you need a 1500 SAT to get in. I have to drop bread crumbs to get our players to and from class."
- George Raveling, Washington State basketball coach

"Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton."
- Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again with promoter Don King

"I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to."
- Shaquille O'Neal on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his visit to Greece

"The ballparks have gotten too crowded. That's why nobody goes to see the game anymore."
- Yogi Berra

"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes."
- Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh

"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
- Football commentator and former player Joe Theisman

(_:][:_)

Some farmers were standing around shooting the breeze one day when the topic came around to animals and their distinguishing traits.

The group agreed that the dog was probably the most loyal animal and the mule was undoubtedly the most stubborn.

Farmer Jones piped in, "You know, I believe probably the friendliest animal in all God's creation is the goose."

The others wanted to know how he arrived at such a conclusion.

"Well," explained Farmer Jones, "I was out standing in my corn the other day, and a whole flock of 'em came by overhead. And, do you know, every single one of 'em honked and waved!"

(_:][:_)

A lady on a commuter train was reading a newspaper article about life and death statistics. Fascinated, she turned to the man next to her and said, "Did you know that every time I breathe somebody dies?"

"Really!?" he said. "Have you tried mouthwash?"

(_:][:_)

_=+=_
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Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Column - - http://www.madkane.com/

A guy in a polka dot tie
Felt stylish, though heaven knows why.
His jacket was garish.
His pants were nightmarish.
And non-matching sneakers — oh my!

Yet he sat around mocking the gals
With some equally odd-looking pals.
“She’s too thin. She’s too fat.”
“She’s an ugly old bat.”
Can’t imagine their warped rationales.

Why do fellows behave in that way —
Scorning gals who look cuter than they?
Do they all need a shrink?
I sure hope they don’t think
It will lead to a roll in the hay.

© Madeleine Begun Kane. All Rights Reserved.
http://www.madkane.com/
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If you ever wondered what side of the fence you sit on, this is a great
test!

If a conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn't buy one.
If a liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat.
If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for
everyone.

If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If a liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.

If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.

If a conservative doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Liberals demand that those they don't like be shut down.

If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church.
A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced.
(Unless it's a foreign religion, of course!)

If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.
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Now this is one of the best to come my way in a long while, and a good lesson on the differences between Conservative thinking and Liberal whining.

A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. Like so many others her age, she considered herself to be very liberal, and among other liberal ideals, was very much in favor of higher taxes to support more government programs, in other words redistribution of wealth.

She was deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunch conservative, a feeling she openly expressed. Based on the lectures that she had participated in, and the occasional chat with a professor, she felt that her father had for years harbored an evil, selfish desire to keep what he thought should be his.

One day she was challenging her father on his opposition to higher taxes on the rich and the need for more government programs.

The self-professed objectivity proclaimed by her professors had to be the truth and she indicated so to her father. He responded by asking how she was doing in school.

Taken aback, she answered rather haughtily that she had a 4.0 GPA, and let him know that it was tough to maintain, insisting that she was taking a very difficult course load and was constantly studying, which left her no time to go out and party like other people she knew. She didn't even have time for a boyfriend, and didn't really have many college friends because she spent all her time studying.

Her father listened and then asked, How is your friend Audrey doing?

She replied, Audrey is barely getting by. All she takes are easy classes, she never studies and she barely has a 2.0 GPA. She is so popular on campus; college for her is a blast. She's always invited to all the parties and lots of times she doesn't even show up for classes because she's too hung over.

Her wise father asked his daughter, Why don't you go to the Dean's office and ask him to deduct 1.0 off your GPA and give it to your friend who only has a 2.0. That way you will both have a 3.0 GPA and certainly that would be a fair and equal distribution of GPA.

The daughter, visibly shocked by her father's suggestion, angrily fired back, That's a crazy idea, how would that be fair! I've worked really hard for my grades! I've invested a lot of time, and a lot of hard work! Audrey has done next to nothing toward her degree. She played while I worked my tail off!

Are we beginning to make a point here folks?

The father slowly smiled, winked and said gently, Welcome to the conservative side of the fence.

If anyone has a better explanation of the difference between conservative and liberal or progressive or neo-con I'm all ears.
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Why the U.S. Is Turning to the Right
By Michael Goodwin via John Burge

A Conservative friend wise about human nature and politics summarizes his views this way: "Liberals don't think they have any politics. They think they are in a state of nature. Only those who disagree with them are unnatural."

It's a brilliant insight, and tells you all you need to know about the culture and political wars in America today. Less than two years after the arc of history seemed to favor them, the high priests of liberal orthodoxy are on the run.

They have overreached, and now they must pay.

But they are not going quietly or with decency. They are desperate and dangerous, astonishingly reckless in their attacks on the majority of Americans who commit the secular sin of disagreement.

Faced with massive public resistance to their demands for conformity, President Obama and his religious-like acolytes have given up trying to persuade skeptics. They are reduced to trying to crush dissent.

To them, resistance is heresy, and must be eliminated.

They are not embarrassed by the obvious double standards they are embracing or the false claims they are peddling. They are, as my friend observed, incapable of recognizing as legitimate any view but their own, so the end justifies the means.

Obama's scurrilous conduct is Exhibit A of the panic on the left. Discarding the sunny-side-up mask, he crisscrosses the country in fear-monger mode. His base appeals to women, blacks, Latinos and students are identity-group politics at its worst.

He is not alone in having a worldview that depends on absolute conformity. Deviation is also dangerous to the institutions that form the backbone of the liberal establishment he leads.

The Juan Williams case says it all. Claims by the goon squad at NPR that he was fired for "expressing a personal opinion on a divisive issue" are transparent hogwash.

He and other NPR analysts and correspondents routinely express opinions that favor Democrats.

He was fired because he expressed an inconvenient opinion -- that he and many Americans often associate Muslims with terrorists. And he did it on Fox News, the antichrist to the church of the left.

His fears are widely shared but don't fit with NPR's authorized view of the world. So it -- he -- must be silenced.

In firing him, NPR instantly created another example of why the country is turning right. Tens of millions of ordinary people have been roused to fight for rights they assumed they had. From health-care mandates to rising federal debt to confiscatory taxes to suffocating speech codes, they have correctly concluded their liberty is under assault.

To be sure, dissenters do not have a monopoly on wisdom or common sense. A partisan label is never a guarantee of righteousness, as the reversal of political fortunes in two years demonstrates.
Rather, the American system, we learn again, is intolerant of only one thing: intolerance. Whether its hammer comes from left or right, it always wakes the spirit of revolution. Freedom of speech, to dissent, to oppose, to fight back, is not just the literal content of the First Amendment. It is the essence of who we are as a people.

Obama, of course, infamously discounted American Exceptionalism when he was asked about it, suggesting he does not view our national character as unique. His mistake.
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
TOURBUS - - Vol 15, Number 57
19 Oct 2010
80,000 Riders in Over 100 Countries

Online Savings Accounts / All-In-One Printers / Geekly Update / Anti-Spam Tools / Online Video Rental / Best CPU?

In today's TOURBUS, learn how to open an Online Savings Account, and the pros & cons of All-In-One Printers. And of course we'll grapple with a few more of life's toughest questions in the Geekly Update.

Also in this issue, you'll find my picks for the best Antispam Software and Spam Filters. If you're a movie buff, don't miss my Online Video Rental guide. And for those about to buy or build a new computer, find out Which CPU is Best. Read on!

Open an Online Savings Account
A reader asks: "I've heard that online banks offer much better interest rates, but all the accounts I've found so far have pitifully low rates. Why are interest rates so low, and are there any online savings accounts that offer higher yields?" A lot of people are seeking the elusive online savings account that pays "high yields." It's out there somewhere, rumor has it.
Here's what to look for when opening an online savings account, and where to find the best rates...
[http://askbobrankin.com/online_savings_account.html?tbart]

Buying an All-In-One Printer
An all-in-one printer performs four classic office functions: printing, scanning, copying, and faxing. One obvious benefit is that you don't have to buy, service and find desk space for all four machines. There are both pros and cons to all-in-one printers, and some factors to look at when shopping for one.
Here's what you should know before buying an all-in-one, and a few of my top picks for your home or office...
[http://askbobrankin.com/allinone_printers.html?tbart]

Geekly Update - 12/18 October 2010
Is the US government placing a ban on screaming children in the back seat of automobiles? Will cell phones be legal in Google's self-driving car? And what do Segways and lemmings have in common?
Find out in the most recent editions of the Geekly Update, and you might win a free chance to buy a lottery ticket!
GEEKLY UPDATE - OCTOBER 12 [http://askbobrankin.com/geekly_update_12_october_2010.html?tbart]
GEEKLY UPDATE - OCTOBER 18 [http://askbobrankin.com/geekly_update_18_october_2010.html?tbart]

Antispam Software / Spam Filters
Your Internet service provider promises to block spam, but still you get plenty of unwanted emails. What can be done to stop the flood of spam? One solution is to add additional layers of defense to your inbox. There are dozens of antispam software programs on the market, and techniques you can use to filter spam according to your own criteria.
Here are some of the best anti-spam solutions...
ANTISPAM SOFTWARE [http://askbobrankin.com/antispam_software.html?tbart]
SPAM FILTERS [http://askbobrankin.com/spam_filters.html?tbart]

Online Video Rental
Online film rental is a service that lets you rent video media online and have it delivered to you. The films you rent may be delivered on DVD or Blu-Ray discs, but online film rentals can also take other forms. Getting a DVD in the mail is fine, but it's a far cry from the instant gratification that the Internet offers. Streaming video and instant downloads allow you to rent a video online and watch it on your computer or mobile device.
But there are some potential gotchas. Here's the scoop on renting videos online...
[http://askbobrankin.com/online_film_rental.html?tbart]

Which CPU is Best?
Choosing a CPU used to be easy. The fastest clock speed you could afford was the best buy, period. A 750 MHz CPU was better than 433 MHz no matter who made either chip. But now there are many performance-enhancing technologies in CPUs, and a bewildering array of choices. Should you buy Intel, AMD or does brand even matter?
Discover what factors to consider when choosing a CPU, and what kind I recommend for most users...
[http://askbobrankin.com/which_cpu_is_best.html?tbart]

~~~
Internet Explorer 9 Beta / Secure Your Wireless Network / Clone a Hard Drive / Geekly Update / Wireless Broadband / Windows Keyboard Shortcuts

In today's TOURBUS, You'll find out how to get a sneak preview of Internet Explorer 9 Preview. Will you want to give up Firefox? I've also got a guide to Securing Your Wireless Network and some thoughts on why you might want to Clone Your Hard Drive.

Also in this issue, the most recent Geekly Update, the scoop on Wireless Broadband, and a big list of Windows Keyboard Shortcuts Read on!

Internet Explorer 9 Preview
Microsoft recently released the first beta version of Internet Explorer 9. It's the first major upgrade to IE in about two years - and, it seems, the first real improvement since the late 1990s! IE7 and IE8 didn't really add much to the browsing experience, and introduced glitches that drove users and website developers nuts. But over the past few years, the competition lit a fire under IE's developers.
Here's the scoop on the upcoming IE9 browser, and how you can take it for a test drive...
[http://askbobrankin.com/internet_explorer_9_beta.html?tbart]

How to Secure Your Wireless Network
The term "wireless network security" sounds too technical for many home and small business users, so they often ignore it. But securing a wireless network against intruders is really quite simple and it's very important. You wouldn't leave your home's front door wide open while you are out, or a loaded gun on its front porch.
Leaving a wireless network unsecured can be equally foolhardy. Here are the steps to making sure your wireless network is locked down...
[http://askbobrankin.com/wireless_network_security.html?tbart]

Clone Your Hard Drive
To clone a hard drive means to make an exact copy of every single bit on it. This is more than simply backing up data files; even hidden, protected operating system files are copied in a clone operation, and the exact position of every bit of data on the original drive is preserved. If something goes wrong with your hard drive, a clone copy can restore its exact contents.
Here's what you need to know about cloning your hard drive...
[http://askbobrankin.com/clone_hard_drive.html?tbart]

Geekly Update
Is it true that Flickr has banned users from uploading photos of kittens and puppies? Verizon's CEO said last week that the iPhone is definitely not coming to Verizon. Yet. Huh? And why is the price of a stolen card credit card going up, again?
Get answers to these questions, and one free proton, in the most recent edition of the Geekly Update!
[http://askbobrankin.com/geekly_update_september_27_2010.html?tbart]

What is Wireless Broadband?
Very simply, wireless broadband is high-speed Internet access delivered without wires. It can refer to a wifi connection in your home, or to the type of wireless connections made by smartphones and other mobile devices.
Learn about the different types of wireless broadband, and how fast you can go...
[http://askbobrankin.com/wireless_broadband.html?tbart]

Windows Keyboard Shortcuts
Personally, I prefer to use the keyboard whenever I can, instead of reaching for the mouse and clicking. For me, it's just faster and more natural. But keyboard shortcuts can also be important if you're prone to repetitive stress syndrome or have tendonitis. Visually impaired users may find keyboard shortcuts easier as well.
Windows keyboard shortcuts save time and wrist motions. Here are some you should know...
[http://askbobrankin.com/windows_keyboard_shortcuts.html?tbart]

That's all for now, see you next time!
-- Bob Rankin
==[ Tourbus Rider Information ]===
The Internet Tourbus - U.S. Library of Congress ISSN #1094-2238
Copyright 1995-2010 - All rights reserved
Be Smarter & Better Looking Than [-99.959048-] Percent of Users
Hop On the Bus and Join 80,000 Others Around the World!
============================
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
NEVER FORGET! We're listing the names of our soldiers (122) killed since our last Bleat was published (August 27). These records can be found at http://www.defenselink.mil/releases/

01. Petty Officer 3rd Class James M. Swink, 20, of Yucca Valley, Calif., died Aug. 27 while supporting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. Swink was a hospital corpsman assigned to 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Forces.

02. Master Sgt. Daniel L. Fedder, 34, of Pine City, Minn., died Aug. 27 while supporting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to the 7th Engineer Support Battalion, 1st Marine Logistics Group, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Pendleton, Calif.

03. Staff Sgt. James R. Ide, 32, of Festus, Mo., died Aug. 29 at Hyderabad, Afghanistan, of wounds sustained when insurgents attacked his unit with small arms fire. He was assigned to the 230th Military Police Company, 95th Military Police Battalion, 18th Military Police Brigade, 21st Theater Sustainment Command, Sembach, Germany.

04. Spc. James C. Robinson, 27, of Lebanon, Ohio, died Aug. 28 at Paktika, Afghanistan, when insurgents attacked his unit with indirect fire. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 187th Infantry Regiment, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), Fort Campbell, Ky.

The Department of Defense announced the deaths of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Enduring Freedom. They died of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked their vehicle with an improvised explosive device Aug. 27 in Paktiya, Afghanistan. Killed were:
05. Spc. Chad D. Coleman, 20, of Moreland, Ga.
06. Pvt. Adam J. Novak, 20, of Prairie du Sac, Wis.
They were assigned to the 1st Squadron, 33rd Cavalry Regiment, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), Fort Campbell, Ky.

The Department of Defense announced the deaths of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Enduring Freedom. They died Aug. 29 at Nangahar, Afghanistan, of wound sustained when their military vehicle was struck by rocket propelled grenade on Aug. 28 at Nangahar, Afghanistan. Killed were:
07. Capt. Ellery R. Wallace, 33, of Utah.
08. Pfc. Bryn T. Raver, 20, of Harrison, Ark.
Wallace was assigned to the 1st Squadron, 61st Cavalry Regiment, 4th Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), Fort Campbell, Ky.
Raver was assigned to 1st Brigade Special Troop Battalion, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), Fort Campbell, Ky.

09. Gunnery Sgt. Floyd E. C. Holley, 36, of Casselberry, Fla., died Aug. 29 while supporting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to the 7th Engineer Support Battalion, 1st Marine Logistics Group, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Pendleton, Calif.

The Department of Defense announced the deaths of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Enduring Freedom. They died Aug. 28 in Babur, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked their unit with an improvised explosive device. Killed were:
10. Sgt. Patrick K. Durham, 24, of Chattanooga, Tenn.
11. Spc. Andrew J. Castro, 20, of Westlake Village, Calif.
Durham was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 320th Field Artillery Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), Fort Campbell, Ky.
Castro was assigned to the 2nd Brigade Special Troops Battalion, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), Fort Campbell, Ky.

The Department of Defense announced the deaths of five soldiers who were supporting Operation Enduring Freedom. They died Aug. 30 in the Arghandab River Valley, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked their unit with an improvised explosive device. All were based at Fort Carson, Colo. Killed were:
12. Capt. Dale A Goetz, 43, of White, S.D. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 66th Armor Regiment, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 4th Infantry Division.
13. Staff Sgt. Jesse Infante, 30, of Cypress, Texas. He was assigned to the 4th Brigade Support Battalion, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 4th Infantry Division.
14. Staff Sgt. Kevin J. Kessler, 32, of Canton, Ohio. He was assigned to the 4th Brigade Support Battalion, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 4th Infantry Division.
15. Staff Sgt. Matthew J. West, 36, of Conover, Wis. He was assigned to the 71st Explosive Ordnance Disposal Group.
16. Pfc. Chad D. Clements, 26, of Huntington, Ind. He was assigned to the 4th Brigade Support Battalion, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 4th Infantry Division.

17. Sgt. Joseph A. Bovia, 24, of Kenner, La., died Aug. 31 while supporting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to the 3rd Combat Assault Battalion, 3rd Marine Division, III Marine Expeditionary Force, Okinawa, Japan.

18. Lance Cpl. Cody A. Roberts, 22, of Boise, Idaho, died Aug. 31 while supporting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to 2nd Battalion, 6th Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

19. Lance Cpl. Christopher B. Rodgers, 20, of Griffin, Ga., died Sept. 1 while conducting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 2nd Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

The Department of Defense announced the deaths of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Enduring Freedom. They died Aug. 30 in Malajat, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked their unit with an improvised explosive device. They were assigned to the 1st Battalion, 22nd Infantry Regiment, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 4th Infantry Division, Fort Carson, Colo. Killed were:
20. 1st Lt. Mark A. Noziska, 24, of Papillon, Neb.

21. Staff Sgt. Casey J. Grochowiak, 34, of Lompoc, Calif.

22. Lance Cpl. Joshua T. Twigg, 21, of Indiana, Pa., died Sept. 2 while conducting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 9th Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

The Department of Defense announced the deaths of four soldiers who were supporting Operation Enduring Freedom. They died Aug. 31 in Logar province, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when enemy forces attacked their vehicle with an improvised explosive device. Killed were:
23. Staff Sgt. Vinson B. Adkinson III, 26, of Harper, Kan.
24. Sgt. Raymond C. Alcaraz, 20, of Redlands, Calif.
25. Pfc. Matthew E. George, 22, of Gransboro, N.C.
26. Pfc. James A. Page, 23, of Titusville, Fla.
They were assigned to the 173rd Brigade Support Battalion, 173rd Airborne Brigade Combat Team, Bamberg, Germany.

27. Capt. Jason T. McMahon, 35, of Mulvane, Kan., died Sept. 5 in Bagram, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked his unit with indirect fire in Jalalabad. He was assigned to the 184th Ordnance Battalion (Explosive Ordnance Disposal), 52nd Ordnance Group, Fort Campbell, Ky.

28. Pfc. Diego M. Montoya, 20, of San Antonio, Texas, died Sept. 2 in Laghman province, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked his unit with indirect fire. He was assigned to the 720th Military Police Battalion, 89th Military Police Brigade, Fort Hood, Texas.

29. Lance Cpl. Ross S. Carver, 21, of Rocky Point, N.C., died Sept. 3 while conducting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 6th Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

30. Cpl. Philip G. E. Charte, 22, of Goffstown, N.H., died Sept. 7 while conducting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 6th Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

31. Sgt. Jesse M. Balthaser, 23, of Columbus, Ohio, died Sept. 4 while conducting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to the 3rd Combat Engineer Battalion, 3rd Marine Division, III Marine Expeditionary Force, based at Marine Corps Air Ground Combat Center Twentynine Palms, Calif.

The Department of Defense announced the deaths of two soldiers who were supporting Operation New Dawn. They died Sept. 7 at Balad, Iraq, of wounds suffered in a shooting incident in Salah ad-Din province. This incident is under investigation. Killed were:
32. Sgt. Philip C. Jenkins, 26, of Decatur, Ind.
33. Pvt. James F. McClamrock, 22, of Huntersville, N.C.
They were assigned to the 1st Battalion, 27th Infantry Regiment, 2nd Stryker Advise and Assist Brigade, 25th Infantry Division, Schofield Barracks, Hawaii.

34. Cpl. John C. Bishop, 25, of Columbus, Ind., died Sept. 8 while conducting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to 2nd Battalion, 9th Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

35. 1st Lt. Todd W. Weaver, 26, of Hampton, Va., died Sept. 9 in Kandahar, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked his unit with an improvised explosive device. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 320th Field Artillery Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), Fort Campbell, Ky.

36. Sgt. Ryan J. Hopkins, 21, of Livermore, Calif., died Jan. 8, at Brooke Army Medical Center, San Antonio, Texas, of injuries sustained in a motor pool accident in Baghdad, Iraq, on Oct. 4, 2008. At the time of the incident, he was assigned to the 64th Brigade Support Battalion, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 4th Infantry Division, Fort Carson, Colo. At the time of his death, he was assigned to the Warrior Transition Unit, Fort Sam Houston, San Antonio, Texas.

37. Senior Airman James A. Hansen, 25, of Athens, Mich., died Sept. 15 of wounds suffered during a controlled detonation at Joint Base Balad, Iraq. He was assigned to the 46th Operations Support Squadron, Eglin Air Force Base, Fla.

38. Sgt. John F. Burner III, 32, of Baltimore, Md., died Sept. 16, in Iskandariya, Iraq, in a non-combat related incident. He was assigned to the 63rd Signal Battalion (Expeditionary), 35th Signal Brigade, Fort Gordon, Ga.

39. Sgt. Aaron K. Kramer, 22, of Salt Lake City, Utah, died Sept. 16 in Kandahar, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked his unit with small arms fire. He was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 502nd Infantry Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), Fort Campbell, Ky.

40. Senior Airman Daniel R. Sanchez, 23, of El Paso, Texas, died Sept. 16 while conducting combat operations in Oruzgan province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to the 23rd Special Tactics Squadron, Hurlburt Field, Fla.

41. Spc. Deangelo B. Snow, 22, of Saginaw, Mich., died Sept. 17 in Kandahar province, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attached his vehicle with a rocket propelled grenade. He was assigned to the 526th Brigade Support Battalion, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), Fort Campbell, Ky.

42. 1st Lt. Scott J. Fleming, 24, of Marietta, Ga., died Sept. 17 while conducting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to the 3rd Battalion, 3rd Marine Regiment, 3rd Marine Division, III Marine Expeditionary Force, based out of Kaneohe Bay, Hawaii.

The Department of Defense announced the deaths of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Enduring Freedom. They died in the Zhari district, Kandahar province, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked their unit with an improvised explosive device. They were assigned to the1st Battalion, 502nd Infantry Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), Fort Campbell, Ky. Killed were:
43. 1st Lt. Eric Yates, 26, of Rineyville, Ky., who died Sept. 18.
44. Staff Sgt. Jaime C. Newman, 27, of Richmond, Va., who died Sept. 17.

45. Sgt. 1st Class Ronald A. Grider, 30, Brighton, Ill., died Sept. 18 at Kunduz province, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when he was struck by machine gun fire. He was assigned to U.S. Army Special Operations Command, Fort Bragg, N.C.

46. Spc. Timothy L. Johnson, 24, of Randolph, N.Y., died Sept. 16 in Kandahar, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked his unit with an improvised explosive device at Arghandab River Valley, Afghanistan. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 66th Armor Regiment, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 4th Infantry Division, Fort Carson, Colo.

47. Pfc. Barbara Vieyra, 22, of Mesa, Ariz., died Sept. 18 of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked her unit using an improvised explosive device and rocket propelled grenade fire in Kunar province, Afghanistan. She was assigned to the 720th Military Police Battalion, 89th Military Police Brigade, Fort Hood, Texas.

48. Maj. Paul D. Carron, 33, of Mo. died Sept. 18 at Qalat, Afghanistan, of injuries sustained in a non-combat related incident. He was assigned to the 2nd Squadron, 2nd Stryker Cavalry Regiment, Vilseck, Germany.

49. Spc. Joshua A. Harton, 23, of Bethlehem, Penn., died Sept. 18 in Kaftar Khan, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked his unit using small arms and rocket propelled grenade fire. He was assigned to the 3rd Battalion, 6th Field Artillery Regiment, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 10th Mountain Division (Light Infantry), Fort Drum, N.Y.

50. Pfc. Joshua S. Ose, 19, of Hernando, Miss., died Sept. 20 while conducting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to 1st Battalion, 8th Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

51. Senior Airman Michael J. Buras, 23, of Fitzgerald, Ga., died Sept. 21 of wounds suffered as the result of an improvised explosive device detonation in Kandahar, Afghanistan. He was assigned to the 99th Civil Engineer Squadron, Nellis Air Force Base, Nev.

The Department of Defense announced the deaths of four sailors who died in a helicopter crash Sept. 21 during combat operations in the Zabul province, Afghanistan, while supporting Operation Enduring Freedom. Killed were:
52. Lt. (SEAL) Brendan J. Looney, 29, of Owings, Md., assigned to a West Coast-based SEAL Team.
53. Senior Chief Petty Officer David B. McLendon, 30, of Thomasville, Ga., assigned to an East Coast-based Naval Special Warfare unit.
54. Petty Officer 2nd Class (SEAL) Adam O. Smith, 26, of Hurland, Mo., assigned to an East Coast-based SEAL Team.
55. Petty Officer 3rd Class (SEAL) Denis C. Miranda, 24, of Toms River, N.J., assigned to an East Coast-based SEAL Team.

The Department of Defense announced the deaths of five soldiers who died in a helicopter crash Sept. 21 during combat operations in Zabul province, Afghanistan, while supporting Operation Enduring Freedom. All soldiers were assigned to 101st Combat Aviation Brigade, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), Fort Campbell, Ky. Killed were:
56. Lt. Col. Robert F. Baldwin, 39, of Muscatine, Iowa.
57. Chief Warrant Officer Matthew G. Wagstaff, 34, of Orem, Utah.
58. Chief Warrant Officer Jonah D. McClellan, 26, of St. Louis Park, Minn.
59. Staff Sgt. Joshua D. Powell, 25, of Pleasant Plains, Ill.
60. Sgt. Marvin R. Calhoun Jr., 23, of Elkhart, Ind.
Baldwin was assigned to the brigade headquarters; Wagstaff, McClellan and Calhoun were assigned to the 5th Battalion; and Powell was assigned to the 6th Battalion.

61. Lance Cpl. Anthony J. Rosa, 20, of Swanton, Vt., died Sept. 23 while supporting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to 2nd Battalion, 6th Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

62. Pfc. Clinton E. Springer II, 21, of Sanford, Maine, died Sept. 24 in Kabul, Afghanistan, in a non-combat related incident. He was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 22nd Infantry Regiment, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 10th Mountain Division (Light Infantry), Fort Drum, N.Y.

The Department of Defense announced the deaths of two soldiers who were supporting Operation New Dawn. They died Sept. 24 in Fallujah, Iraq, of injuries sustained Sept. 23 in a non-combat incident. They were assigned to 3rd Battalion, 15th Infantry Regiment, 4th Infantry Brigade Combat Team, 3rd Infantry Division, Fort Stewart, Ga. Killed were:
63. Spc. John Carrillo Jr., 20, of Stockton, Calif.
64. Pfc. Gebrah P. Noonan, 26, of Watertown, Conn.

65. Spc. Marc C. Whisenant, 23, of Holly Hill, Fla., died Sept. 24 in Kuwait of injuries sustained in a military vehicle roll-over. He was attached to the Florida National Guard’s 1st Battalion, 124th Infantry Regiment, Miami, Fla.

The Department of Defense announced the deaths of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Enduring Freedom. They died Sept. 24 of wounds suffered while traveling between Ghanzi and Bagram Airfield, Afghanistan, when their military vehicle was attacked with an improvised explosive device. They were assigned to the 17th Combat Sustainment Support Battalion, 3rd Maneuver Enhancement Brigade, U.S. Army, Alaska, Fort Richardson, Alaska.
Killed were:
66. Pfc. William B. Dawson, 20, of Tunica, Miss.
67. Pfc. Jaysine P. S. Petree, 19, of Yigo, Guam.

The Department of Defense announced the deaths of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Enduring Freedom. They died Sept. 26 at Kandahar, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked their military vehicle with an improvised explosive device on Sept. 25 at Forward Operating Base Frontenac, Afghanistan. They were assigned to the 20th Engineer Battalion, 36th Engineer Brigade, Fort Hood, Texas. Killed were:
68. Sgt. Mark A. Simpson, 40, of Peoria, Ill.
69. Spc. Donald S. Morrison, 23, of Cincinnati, Ohio.

70. Lance Cpl. Ralph J. Fabbri, 20, of Gallitzin, Pa., died Sept. 28 while conducting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to the HeadquartersBattalion, 1st Marine Division, IMarine Expeditionary Force, Camp Pendleton, Calif.

71. Senior Airman Mark Forester, 29, of Tuscaloosa, Ala., died Sept. 29 in Uruzgan province, Afghanistan, while conducting combat operations in the area. He was assigned to the 21st Special Tactics Squadron, Pope Air Force Base, N.C.

72. Lance Cpl. Timothy M. Jackson, 22, of Corbin, Ky., died Sept. 30 while conducting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to 2nd Battalion, 9th Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

73. Sgt. Justin A. Officer, 26, of Wichita, Kan., died Sept. 29 in Kandahar province, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked his unit using an improvised explosive device. He was assigned to 1st Squadron, 75th Cavalry Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), Fort Campbell, Ky.

74. Sgt. 1st Class Calvin B. Harrison, 31, of San Antonio, Texas, died Sept. 29 in Uruzgan province, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked his unit with small arms fire. He was assigned to 2nd Battalion, 7th Special Forces Group (Airborne) Fort Bragg, N.C.

The Department of Defense announced the deaths of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Enduring Freedom. They died Oct. 1 in Paktika province, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked their military vehicle with an improvised explosive device. They were assigned to the 1221st Engineer Clearance Company, Graniteville, S.C. Killed were:
75. Staff Sgt. Willie J. Harley Jr., 48, of Aiken, S.C.
76. Spc. Luther W. Rabon Jr., 32, of Lexington, S.C.

77. Sgt. Anthony D. Matteoni, 22, of Union City, Mich., died Oct. 1 while supporting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to 2nd Battalion, 6th Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

78. Sgt. 1st Class Lance H. Vogeler, 29, of Frederick, Md., died Oct.1 in Bastion, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered in Helmand, Afghanistan, when insurgents attacked his unit with indirect fire. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 75th Ranger Regiment, Hunter Army Airfield, Ga.

79. Spc. Joseph T. Prentler, 20, of Fenwick, Mich., died Oct. 4 in Mama Kariz, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked his military vehicle using an improvised explosive device. He was assigned to the 3rd Squadron, 2nd Stryker Cavalry Regiment, Vilseck, Germany.

80. Sgt. Brian J. Pedro, 27, of Rosamond, Calif., died Oct. 2 in Pol-e-Khumri, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked his unit with small arms fire and rocket-propelled grenades. He was assigned to the 2nd Engineer Battalion, White Sands Missile Range, N.M.

81. Senior Airman Daniel J. Johnson, 23, of Schiller Park, Ill., died Oct. 5 of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked his unit with an improvised explosive device in Kandahar, Afghanistan. He was assigned to the 30th Civil Engineer Squadron, Vandenberg Air Force Base, Calif.

82. Pfc. Cody A. Board, 19, of McKinney, Texas, died Oct. 4 at Mirwais, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked his unit with an improvised explosive device. He was assigned to the 1st Squadron, 2nd Stryker Cavalry Regiment, Vilseck, Germany.

83. Sgt. Karl A. Campbell, 34, of Chiefland, Fla., died Oct. 4 in Babur, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked his unit with an improvised explosive device. He was assigned to the 1st Squadron, 75th Cavalry Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), Fort Campbell, Ky.

84. Pfc. Ryane G. Clark, 22, of New London, Minn., died Oct. 4 in Shekhabad, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked his unit with small arms fire and rocket-propelled grenades. He was assigned to the 27th Combat Engineer Battalion (Airborne), 20th Combat Engineer Brigade, Fort Bragg, N.C.

85. Lance Cpl. Scott A. Lynch, 22, of Greenwood Lake, N.Y., died Oct. 6 while conducting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to 2nd Battalion, 6th Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

86. Cpl. Stephen C. Sockalosky, 21, of Cordele, Ga., died Oct. 6 while conducting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to 2nd Battalion, 9th Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

87. Hospital Corpsman Edwin Gonzalez, 22, of North Miami Beach, Fla., died Oct. 8 from wounds sustained from an improvised explosive device while supporting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to 2nd Marine Division, Fleet Marine Forces, Atlantic, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

88. Lance Cpl. John T. Sparks, 23, of Chicago, Ill., died Oct. 8 while conducting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to 3rd Battalion, 5th Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Pendleton, Calif.

89. Sgt. Frank R. Zaehringer III, 23, of Reno, Nev., died Oct. 11 while conducting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to 2nd Battalion, 9th Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

The Department of Defense announced the deaths of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Enduring Freedom. They died Oct. 10 of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked their unit with an improvised explosive device. Killed were:
90. Staff Sgt. Dave J. Weigle, 29, of Philadelphia, Pa. He was assigned to the 1st Squadron, 75th Cavalry Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), Fort Campbell, Ky.; and
91. Spc. David A. Hess, 25, of Ruskin, Fla. He was assigned to the 526th Brigade Support Battalion, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), Fort Campbell, Ky.

92. Spc. Matthew C. Powell, 20, of Slidell, La., died Oct. 12 at Kandahar Airfield, of wounds suffered at Ghunday Ghar, Afghanistan when insurgents attacked his military vehicle using an improvised explosive device. He was assigned to the 526th Brigade Support Battalion, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), Fort Campbell, Ky.

93. Lance Cpl. Raymon L. A. Johnson, 22, of Midland, Ga., died Oct. 13 while conducting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to 1st Battalion, 8th Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

The Department of Defense announced the deaths of four Marines who were supporting Operation Enduring Freedom. The following Marines died Oct. 13 while conducting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan:
94. Cpl. Justin J. Cain, 22, of Manitowoc, Wis.
95. Lance Cpl. Phillip D. Vinnedge, 19, of Saint Charles, Mo.
96. Lance Cpl. Joseph E. Rodewald, 21, of Albany, Ore.
97. Pfc. Victor A. Dew, 20, of Granite Bay, Calif.
All four Marines were assigned to 3rd Battalion, 5th Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Pendleton, Calif.

98. Pfc. Jordan M. Byrd, 19, of Grantsville, Utah, died Oct. 13 in Yahya Kheyl, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked his unit using small arms fire. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 506th Infantry Regiment, 4th Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), Fort Campbell, Ky.

99. Sgt. Eric C. Newman, 30, of Waynesboro, Miss., died Oct. 14 in Akatzai Kalay, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked his unit using an improvised explosive device. He was assigned to 1st Squadron, 38th Cavalry Regiment, 525th Battlefield Surveillance Brigade, XVIII Airborne Corps, Fort Bragg, N.C.

100. Lance Cpl. Irvin M. Ceniceros, 21, of Clarksville, Ark., died Oct. 14 while conducting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to 3rd Battalion, 5th Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Pendleton, Calif.

The Department of Defense announced the deaths of three soldiers who were supporting Operation Enduring Freedom. They died Oct. 14 while conducting combat operations between Moqur and Darreh-Ye-Bum, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked their unit with an improvised explosive device. Killed were:
101. Sgt. Carlos A. Benitez, 24, of Carrollton, Texas.
102. Spc. Rafael Martinez Jr., 36, of Spring Valley, Calif.
103. Pfc. Tramaine J. Billingsley, 20, of Portsmouth, Va.
They were assigned to the 7th Squadron, 10th Cavalry Regiment, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 4th Infantry Division, Fort Carson, Colo.

104. Lance Cpl. Alec E. Catherwood, 19, of Byron, Ill., died Oct. 14 while conducting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to 3rd Battalion, 5th Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Pendleton, Calif.

105. Lance Cpl. James D. Boelk, 24, of Oceanside, Calif., died Oct. 15 while conducting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to the 3rd Battalion, 5th Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Pendleton, Calif.

106. Lance Cpl. Joseph C. Lopez, 26, of Rosamond, Calif., died Oct. 14 while conducting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to the 3rd Battalion, 5th Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Pendleton, Calif.

107. Pfc. Dylan T. Reid, 24, of Springfield, Mo., died Oct. 16 in Amarah, Iraq in a non-combat related incident. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 8th Infantry Regiment, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 4th Infantry Division, Fort Carson, Colo.

108. Sgt. Ian M. Tawney, 25, of Dallas, Ore., died Oct. 16 while conducting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to the 3rd Battalion, 5th Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Pendleton, Calif.

109. Cpl. Jorge Villarreal Jr., 22, of San Antonio, Texas, died Oct. 17 while conducting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to 1st Battalion, 11th Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Pendleton, Calif.

110. Lance Cpl. Francisco R. Jackson, 24, of Elizabeth, N.J., died Oct. 19 while conducting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 11th Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Pendleton, Calif.

111. Staff Sgt. Joshua J. Cullins, 28, of Simi Valley, Calif., died Oct. 19 while conducting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to the 1st Explosive Ordnance Disposal Company, 1st Marine Logistics Group, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Pendleton, Calif.

112. Spc. Gerald R. Jenkins, 19, of Circleville, Ohio, died Oct. 20 in Maquan, Zhari district, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked his unit with an improvised explosive device. He was assigned to the 1st Brigade Special Troop Battalion, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division, Fort Campbell, Ky.

113. Staff Sgt. Kenneth K. McAninch, 28, of Logansport, Ind., died Oct. 21 at Yahya Khel district, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked his unit using small arms fire. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 506th Infantry Regiment, 4th Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), Fort Campbell, Ky.

114. Spc. Ronnie J. Pallares, 19, of Rancho Cucamonga, Calif., died Oct. 23 in Andar district, Ghazni, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked his unit using an improvised explosive device. He was assigned to the 27th Engineer Battalion, Fort Bragg, N.C.

115. Spc. Steven L. Dupont, 20, of Lafayette, La., died Oct. 24 at Rangrizan, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked his unit using an improvised explosive device. He was assigned to the 3rd Squadron, 2nd Stryker Cavalry Regiment, Vilseck, Germany.

116. Sgt. 1st Class Charles M. Sadell, 34, of Columbia, Mo., died Oct. 24 at National Naval Medical Center, Bethesda, Md., of wounds suffered Oct. 5 at Arif Kala, Afghanistan, when insurgents attacked his unit using an improvised explosive device. He was assigned to the 1st Squadron, 71st Cavalry Regiment, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 10th Mountain Division, Fort Drum, N.Y.

117. Staff Sgt. Aracely Gonzalez O’Malley, 31, of Brawley, Calif., died Oct. 22 at Homburg, Germany, of injuries sustained in a non combat incident Oct. 12 at Mazar-e Sharif, Afghanistan. She was assigned to the 307th Integrated Theater Signal Battalion, 516th Signal Brigade, 311th Signal Command, Schofield Barracks, Hawaii.

118. Spc. Thomas A. Moffitt, 21, of Wichita, Kan., died Oct. 24 at Sarobi District, Paktika Province, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when his unit was attacked by insurgents with small arms fire and rocket propelled grenades. He was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 506th Infantry, 4th Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), Fort Campbell, Ky.

119. Pfc. David R. Jones Jr., 21, of Saint Johnsville, N.Y., died Oct. 24 at Baghdad, Iraq, of injuries sustained in a non-combat incident. He was assigned to the 2nd Squadron, 3rd Armored Cavalry Regiment, Fort Hood, Texas.

120. Sgt. 1st Class Phillip C. Tanner, 43, of Sheridan, Wyo., died Oct. 26 at Ali Al Salem, Kuwait, of injuries sustained in a non-combat incident. He was assigned to the 106th Transportation Battalion, 101st Sustainment Brigade, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), Fort Campbell, Ky.

121. Sgt. Michael D. Kirspel Jr., 23, of Hopatcong, N.J., died Oct. 27 near the village of Khwaja Kinti (approximately 25 km south of Ghormach), Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked his unit using an improvised explosive device. He was assigned to the 3rd Battalion, 6th Field Artillery (Strike), 1st Brigade Combat Team, 10th Mountain Division, Fort Drum, N.Y.

122. Lance Cpl. Terry E. Honeycutt Jr., 19, of Waldorf, Md., died Oct. 27 from wounds received Oct. 21 while conducting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to 2nd Battalion, 9th Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

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Missing Vietnam War Soldiers Identified

The Department of Defense POW/Missing Personnel Office (DPMO) announced today that the remains of three servicemen, missing in action from the Vietnam War, have been identified and will be returned to their families for burial with full military honors.

Army Staff Sgt. Robert S. Griffith, of Hapeville, Ga., will be buried on Oct. 23 in Fairburn, Ga. The group remains of the other two soldiers which could not be individually identified -- Army Staff Sgt. Melvin C. Dye, of Carleton, Mich., and Sgt. 1st Class Douglas J. Glover, of Cortland, N.Y., will be buried at a later date. The men were aboard a UH-1H Iroquois helicopter on Feb. 19, 1968, when it was shot down by enemy fire in Laos. They were involved in an attempt to extract a long-range reconnaissance patrol in the mountains of Attapu Province. Three other American service members survived the crash and were rescued, but three Vietnamese Montagnards did not survive.

Several hours after the crash, a team was dispatched to survey the location and reported seeing remains of at least five people. Enemy activity prevented remains recovery at that time. The following month a second team was sent to the crash site but found no remains.

In 1995, a joint U.S.-Lao People’s Democratic Republic team traveled to the recorded grid coordinates for the crash site but found no evidence of a helicopter crash. The team then surveyed a second location in the area where they found helicopter wreckage and human remains. In 2006, a follow-on team was not able to resurvey the same site due to severe overgrowth and time constraints. Another team excavated the location in late 2007 recovering human remains, wreckage and military-related equipment.

Among other forensic identification tools and circumstantial evidence, scientists from the Joint POW/MIA Accounting Command used dental x-rays in the identification of Griffith’s remains.

Since late 1973, the remains of 938 Americans killed in the Vietnam War have been accounted for and returned to their families with 1,708 service members still missing.

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Soldier Missing in Action from WWII Identified

The Department of Defense POW/Missing Personnel Office (DPMO) announced today that the remains of a U.S. serviceman, missing in action from World War II, have been identified and will be returned to his family for burial with full military honors.

Army Staff Sgt. John R. Simonetti, 26, of Jackson Heights, N.Y., will be buried on Oct. 25 in Arlington National Cemetery. Following the Normandy invasion, allied troops began the deadly task of engaging regrouped German forces in the pastures, hedgerows and villages of France. On June 16, 1944, Simonetti was among the advancing infantrymen of the 9th Infantry Regiment of the 2nd Infantry Division. The soldiers were met with heavy automatic weapons and mortar fire and were forced to stop and take cover before they reached the French town of St. Germain-d’Elle. During the battle, the Americans sustained heavy losses, including Simonetti. Two members of his unit later gave conflicting information on the location and disposition of his remains. In the first account, the witness stated his body could not be recovered due to enemy activity, and the second said his body was evacuated to the battalion aid station. Two post-war investigations failed to recover his remains and he was declared non-recoverable by a military review board in 1950.

In May 2009, a French construction crew uncovered human remains and military equipment—including Simonetti’s identifications tags—when excavating a site in St. Germain-d’Elle. French police turned over the remains and artifacts to U.S. officials for analysis.

Among other forensic identification tools and circumstantial evidence, scientists from the Joint POW/MIA Accounting Command used dental comparisons in the identification of his remains.

At the end of the war, the U.S. government was unable to recover and identify approximately 79,000 Americans. Today, more than 74,000 are unaccounted-for from the conflict.
~
Airmen Missing in Action from WWII Identified

The Department of Defense POW/Missing Personnel Office (DPMO) announced today that the remains of two U.S. servicemen, missing in action from World War II, have been identified and are being returned to their families for burial with full military honors.

Army Air Forces Staff Sgts. Claude A. Ray, 24, Coffeyville, Kan., and Claude G. Tyler, 24, Landover, Md., will both be buried today -- Ray in Fallbrook, Calif., and Tyler in Arlington National Cemetery. These two airmen, along with 10 other crew members, were ordered to carry out a reconnaissance mission in their B-24D Liberator, taking off from an airfield near Port Moresby, New Guinea, on Oct. 27, 1943. Allied plans were being formulated to mount an attack on the Japanese redoubt at Rabaul, New Britain. American strategists considered it critical to take Rabaul in order to support the eventual invasion of the Philippines. The crew’s assigned area of reconnaissance was the nearby shipping lanes in the Bismarck Sea. But during their mission, they were radioed to land at a friendly air strip nearby due to poor weather conditions. The last radio transmission from the crew did not indicate their location, and searchers that day and the following weeks were unable to locate the aircraft in spite of multiple searches over land and sea areas.

Following World War II, the Army Graves Registration Service conducted investigations and searches for 43 missing airmen, including Ray and Tyler, in the area but concluded in June 1949 that they were unrecoverable.

In August 2003 a team from the Joint POW/MIA Accounting Command (JPAC) received information on a crash site from a citizen in Papua New Guinea while they were investigating another case. He also turned over an identification card from one of the crew members and reported that there were possible human remains at the site of the crash. Twice in 2004 other JPAC teams attempted to visit the site but were unable to do so due to poor weather and hazardous conditions at the helicopter landing site. Another team was able to successfully excavate the site from January to March 2007 where they found several identification tags from the B-24D crew as well as human remains.

Among other forensic identification tools and circumstantial evidence, scientists from JPAC and the Armed Forces DNA Identification Laboratory used mitochondrial DNA -- which matched that of relatives of Ray and Tyler -- in the identification of their remains

Of the 16 million Americans who served in World War II, more than 400,000 died. At the end of the war, the U.S. government was unable to recover and identify approximately 79,000 Americans. Today, more than 74,000 are unaccounted-for from the conflict.
~~
Pentagon’s POW/MIA Corridor Dedicated

Michele Flournoy, under secretary of defense for policy, dedicated a new Pentagon display today honoring POWs and MIAs from all conflicts.

The corridor, located on the 3rd floor, has been added to the Pentagon’s public tour route where thousands of visitors and more than 23,000 Pentagon employees may view it.

In her dedication remarks, Flournoy noted that the displays in the corridor send many messages, and urged visitors and employees to pause and learn more about POW/MIA history, and of those Americans who are still missing from all conflicts.

“America is among a handful of nations committed to finding and bringing home those lost on former battlefields or isolated burial sites,” she said. “There is no question that the lessons of past conflicts have helped us improve our ability to recover personnel who become isolated or missing in today’s conflicts - and I hope this provides some small comfort to those of you who lost family members in past wars.”

The ceremony was attended by invited guests including veterans, families of the missing, and former POWs. In addition to panels depicting many aspects of the American POW/MIA experience, display cases include artifacts obtained during excavations for wartime remains, as well as POW memorabilia, and examples of grass roots efforts by MIA families to draw national attention to the issue.
For additional information on the Defense Department’s mission to account for missing Americans, visit the DPMO Web site at www.dtic.mil/dpmo or call 703-699-1420.

~~

U.S. Soldier MIA from Korean War Identified

The Department of Defense POW/Missing Personnel Office announced today that the remains of a U.S. serviceman, missing in action from the Korean War, have been identified and returned to his family for burial with full military honors.

United States Army Sgt. Charles P. Whitler will be buried Sept. 2 in his hometown of Cloverport, Ky.

In early November 1950, Whitler was assigned to 3rd Battalion, 8th Cavalry Regiment, occupying a defensive position near the town of Unsan by the Kuryong River known as the “Camel’s Head.” Two enemy elements attacked the U.S. forces, collapsing their perimeter and forcing a withdrawal. Whitler’s unit was involved in fighting which devolved into hand-to-hand combat around the 3rd Battalion’s command post. Almost 400 men were reported missing or killed in action following the battle.

In late November 1950, a U.S. soldier captured during the battle of Unsan reported during his debriefing that he and nine American soldiers were moved to a house near the battlefield. The POWs were taken to an adjacent field and shot. Three of the 10 Americans survived, though one later died. The surviving solider provided detailed information on the incident location.

Analysts from DPMO developed case leads with information spanning more than 58 years. Through interviews with eyewitnesses, experts evaluated circumstances surrounding Whitler’s captivity and death and researched wartime documentation of his loss.

In May 2004, a joint U.S.-North Korean team, led by the Joint POW/MIA Accounting Command, excavated a mass grave near the “Camel’s Head.” An elderly North Korean man reported he had witnessed the death of seven or eight U.S. soldiers near that location and provided the team with a general description of the burial site.

The excavation team recovered human remains and other personal artifacts, ultimately leading to the identification of seven soldiers from that site, one of whom was Whitler.

Among other forensic identification tools and circumstantial evidence, scientists from JPAC and Armed Forces DNA Identification Laboratory also used dental comparisons and mitochondrial DNA - which matched that of Whitler’s sister and niece - in the identification.

More than 2,000 servicemen died as prisoners of war during the Korean War. With this accounting, 8,022 service members still remain missing from the conflict.

~~

Missing WWII Soldier is Identified

The Department of Defense POW/Missing Personnel Office (DPMO) announced today that the remains of a serviceman, missing in action from World War II, have been identified and are being returned to his family for burial with full military honors.

Army Pfc. James C. Konyud, of Cleveland, will be buried on Sept. 25 in his hometown. From mid-September 1944 to early February 1945, the Army was engaged against German forces in the Hürtgen Forest, along the Germany/Belgium border, in the longest continuously fought battle in American history. In early January 1945, elements of the 121st Infantry Regiment, 8th Infantry Division were deployed defensively in the area southeast of Aachen. Konyud, a member of K Company, 121st Infantry Regiment, was reported missing near the location on Jan. 1.

In 2007, a German explosive ordnance disposal team working in an agricultural field between Vossenack and Hürtgen, found human remains and military-related equipment, including Konyud’s military identification tag. The remains and items were turned over to Army Memorial Affairs Activity-Europe officials for further analysis.

Joint POW/MIA Accounting Command (JPAC) teams traveled to excavate the site twice in 2007 and once in 2008, recovering additional remains and other military-related equipment, including a second identification tag for Konyud.

Among other forensic identification tools and circumstantial evidence, scientists from JPAC and the Armed Forces DNA Identification Laboratory used mitochondrial DNA, which matched that of Konyud’s brother and niece, in the identification of his remains.

More than 400,000 of the 16 million Americans who served in World War II died. At the end of the war, the U.S. government was unable to recover, identify and bury approximately 79,000 as known persons. Today, more than 72,000 Americans remain unaccounted-for from the conflict.

For additional information on the Defense Department’s mission to account for missing Americans, call 703-699-1420 or visit the DPMO Web site at www.dtic.mil/dpmo .

Correction: September 23, 2010 - The initial press release stated the remains were excavated from a crash site and that crew-related equipment was also recovered. Pfc. Konyud died in a ground battle and his remains, along with military-related equipment, were recovered in a field and were not found at a crash site.

~~

Missing WWII Soldier is Identified in Germany

The Department of Defense POW/Missing Personnel Office announced today that the remains of a serviceman, missing in action from World War II, have been identified and are being returned to his family for burial with full military honors.

Army Sgt. Edward T. Jones, of West Pawlet, Vt., will be buried on Sept. 25 in Saratoga, N.Y. In November 1944, the 112th Infantry Regiment, 28th Infantry Division was traveling east through the Hürtgen Forest in an attempt to capture the German towns of Vossenack and Schmidt. On Nov. 6, Jones and five other members of A Company, 112th Infantry Regiment, were killed in the town of Kommerscheidt when a German tank fired point-blank on their position.

In 2008, a German explosive ordnance disposal team, working at a construction site in the town of Kommerscheidt, found fragments of a World War II-era U.S. military boot. The team notified the German War Graves Commission who recovered remains of two individuals at the site and military equipment including two identification tags. The items were turned over to a Joint POW/MIA Accounting Command team in the area for further analysis.

Among other forensic identification tools and circumstantial evidence, scientists from the JPAC used dental comparisons in the identification of the remains.

For additional information on the Defense Department’s mission to account for missing Americans, call 703-699-1420 or visit the DPMO Web site at www.dtic.mil/dpmo .

~~

Missing WWII Naval Aviators Identified

The Defense POW/Missing Personnel Office (DPMO) announced today that the remains of two servicemen, missing in action from World War II, have been identified and are being returned to their families for burial with full military honors.

Navy Lt. Francis B. McIntyre of Mitchell, S.D., will be buried on Sept. 29, and Aviation Radioman Second Class William L. Russell of Cherokee, Okla., will be buried on Oct. 1. Both men will be buried at Arlington National Cemetery.

On Nov. 10, 1943, the two men took off on a bombing and strafing mission in their SBD-5 Dauntless dive bomber from Munda Field, New Georgia, in the Solomon Islands. Witnesses last saw the aircraft flying at low altitude through a large explosion on an enemy airfield on Buka Island, Papua New Guinea. None reported seeing the crash of the aircraft itself.

The American Graves Registration Service searched numerous South Pacific Islands in 1949 in an effort to gather data about aircraft crashes or missing Americans. The team was unable to find any useful information, and failed to recover any American remains in the area. A board of review declared both men unrecoverable.

In 2007, a Papuan national found a World War II crash site near the Buka airport, which was reported to U.S. officials. In May 2008, specialists from the Joint POW/MIA Accounting Command (JPAC), working with the country’s national museum, investigated the crash site but were unable to excavate it because of inclement weather. Local officials turned over human remains, McIntyre’s identification tag and other military-related items which had been recovered earlier. After examining the remains in 2008 and 2009, JPAC determined that no excavation would be required since the two sets of remains were nearly complete.

Among other forensic identification tools and circumstantial evidence, scientists from JPAC used dental comparisons for both men and the Armed Forces DNA Identification Laboratory used mitochondrial DNA which matched a sample from Russell’s relatives and DNA extracted from a hat belonging to McIntyre.

At the end of World War II, the U.S. government was unable to recover, identify and bury approximately 79,000 individuals. Today, more than 72,000 Americans remain unaccounted-for from the conflict.

~~

Missing WWII Soldiers Identified

The Department of Defense POW/Missing Personnel Office (DPMO) announced today that the remains of two servicemen, missing in action from World War II, have been identified and are being returned to their families for burial with full military honors.

Army Pfc. Lawrence N. Harris, of Elkins, W.V., will be buried on Oct. 8 in Clarksburg, W.V, and Army Cpl. Judge C. Hellums, of Paris, Miss., will be buried on Oct. 9 in Randolph, Miss. In late September 1944, their unit, the 773rd Tank Battalion, was clearing German forces out of the Parroy Forest near Lunéville. On Oct. 9, 1944, in the final battle for control of the region, Hellums, Harris and three other soldiers were attacked by enemy fire in their M-10 Tank Destroyer. Harris and Hellums were reported to have been killed, and evidence at the time indicated the remains of the men had been destroyed in the attack and were neither recovered nor buried near the location.

In November 1946, a French soldier working in the Parroy Forest found debris associated with an M-10 vehicle and human remains, which were turned over to the American Graves Registration Command (AGRC). The remains were buried as unknowns in the Ardennes American Cemetery in Belgium. A year later, the AGRC returned to the Parroy Forest to conduct interviews and search for additional remains. Investigators noted at that time that all remains of U.S. soldiers had reportedly been removed and that the soldiers were likely buried elsewhere as unknowns.

In 2003, a French citizen exploring the Parroy Forest discovered human remains and an identification bracelet engraved with Hellums’ name. The information was eventually sent to the Joint POW/MIA Accounting Command (JPAC). In April 2006, the man turned over the items to a JPAC team working in Europe.

Historians at DPMO and JPAC continued their research on the burials at the Ardennes Cemetery, and drew a correlation to those unknowns that had been removed from the 1944 battle site. In early 2008, JPAC disinterred these remains and began their forensic review.

Among other forensic identification tools and circumstantial evidence, scientists from JPAC used dental comparisons for both men and the Armed Forces DNA Identification Laboratory used mitochondrial DNA, which matched that of each soldier’s relatives in the identification of their remains.

At the end of the war, the U.S. government was unable to recover, identify and bury approximately 79,000 Americans. Today, more than 72,000 remain unaccounted-for from the conflict.

~~

Missing WWII Airman Identified

The Department of Defense POW/Missing Personnel Office (DPMO) announced today that the remains of a serviceman, missing in action from World War II, have been identified and returned to his family for burial with full military honors.

Army Air Forces 2nd Lt. Arthur F. Parkhurst, of Evansville, Ind., will be buried on Oct. 16 in Dayton, Ohio. On March 12, 1945, Parkhurst and five other crew members aboard a C-47A Skytrain departed Tanauan Airfield on Leyte, Philippines, on a resupply mission to guerilla troops. Once cleared for takeoff there was no further communication between the aircrew and airfield operators. When the aircraft failed to return, a thorough search of an area ten miles on either side of the intended route was initiated. No evidence of the aircraft was found and the six men were presumed killed in action, their remains determined non-recoverable.

In 1989, a Philippine national police officer contacted U.S. officials regarding a possible World War II-era aircraft crash near Leyte. Human remains, aircraft parts and artifacts -- including an identification tag belonging to Parkhurst -- were turned over to the local police, then to U.S. officials.

Among other forensic identification tools and circumstantial evidence, scientists from the Joint POW/MIA Accounting Command used dental comparisons and the Armed Forces DNA Identification Laboratory used mitochondrial DNA -- which matched that of Parkhurst’s brother and sister -- in the identification of his remains.

At the end of the war, the U.S. government was unable to recover and identify approximately 79,000 Americans. Today, more than 72,000 are unaccounted-for from the conflict.
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"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." __ Franklin D. Roosevelt
"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. _ _ George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" _ _ Queen E. Watson
“A political class of Republicans and Democrats that look after themselves, not the Nation. A media hostile to the very precepts of this nation. A generation of Americans who see morals as vices, and are ignorant of America's Actual History.”
"The things that will destroy America are prosperity-at-any-price, peace-at-any-price, safety-first instead of duty-first, the love of soft living, and the get-rich-quick theory of life." - - Theodore Roosevelt
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"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." __ "Bug"
"I read the end of the book. We win!" __ "Bug"
"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." __ "Bug"
"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." _ _ "Bug"
"It's no big deal doing what God tells you to do. A big deal would be NOT doing what God tells you to do. Just ask Jonah." _ _ Paul Troquille
“Nam et ipsa scientia potestas est.” Knowledge is power. _ Francis Bacon
"The problem is here and now. The time for talk is past. The time for action is now."
Comments on the first Earth Day _ James F. McClellan via John "Fuzzy" Thurman
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Hope you enjoy the newsletter.
Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" __"Bug"
God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
Rom 6:17-19 2 Chr 36:22-23 Mat 10:5-8 Hab 3:17-19 Mark 16:15-18 1 Cor 1:26-30 Acts 20:9-12 Luke 18:35-43 John 4:9-10 Num 10:29-32 Mark 6:37-38 Mark 4:37-40 Mark 5:27-29 Mark 4:23-25 Mark 3:4-6 Mark 6:30-32 Num 11:21-23 Phil 4:10-23 Gen 50:4-6 Acts 13:9-10 Ezek 34:15-18 Psa 119:143-147 Acts 23:12-16 Eph 5:15-17 Eccl 7:21-22 http://www.e_min.org/
God is Good and Faithful CU 73 IC JFM CSP NREMT_I KC5HII

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