v1.jpg)
Josiah & Ethan help put up the sign after MCCs Spaghetti supper.
Debra took this photo of me at the AR-1 DMAT meeting June 1 in Little Rock.
Annette's Lilies still look good after the storm.
I'm not sure exactly what's planted here but it reminds me of the "Invasion Of The Body Snatchers" movie.
Her baskets and wall plantings make an easy photograph.
This afternoon, the view from our eastern neighbor's home toward our northern neighbor's home was very relaxing.
Hello ALL,
School’s out and we’re getting more time with our youngest grandsons. Some kids might be a problem on a rainy, stormy day but Josiah and Ethan kept busy, playing (or playing with) dominos, reading (Ethan’s working on setting the Springhill Library record for number of books read. Josiah has moved away from “that kid stuff” to reading Tolkien, etc.) doing crafts (Mamaw always keeps a few craft kits handy for just such a day.) And, if we really get desperate, they can dip into the DVD vault for some TV time (but we prefer they use their time more constructively whenever possible.)
~~~~~
While Da Boys were working on their crafts Thursday, Ethan looked over at me and said; "Why don't you and mamaw ever argue when we're here?"
Annette immediately replied; “Well, there's nothing to get angry about when y'all are here and besides, we've already pretty much argued about everything there is to argue about."
He thought a moment and then said; "Makes sense. Anyone as old as y'all probably ran out of things to get mad about a long time ago."
~~~~~
What's the worst thing that can happen to a book addict? Having your daughter take a summer job at the Springhill, LA library.
She came by and made a list of my favorite authors and now she stops at the house weekly with a pile of books for me to read. I can't refuse them so I have to work hard reading every spare moment in order to be ready when the next shipment arrives.
I think I've overdosed and it's only a couple of weeks into summer.
~~~~~
Since I’ve been battling Congestive Heart Failure, Annette has become the “Salt Sheriff” of our home. Now, we cut way back on salt usage years ago. A box of salt lasts us years and one of our biggest complaints on eating out is that they often use too much salt in the cooking. We don’t even have a salt shaker on the table (which dinner guests often notice before anything else.)
But, we still get plenty of salt from processed foods and the meals we eat out. In fact, those two sources probably exceed the recommended daily sodium limits for most adults. So Annette has begun a rigorous review of all foods in the home as well as any that may be brought in from “afar.”
We’ve both learned to look at Fat, Fiber, Carb and Sodium content on any prepared foods we purchase. And the numbers will surprise you. So called “health” foods are often packed with Sodium and Carbs.
So today she was looking at my shopping list and I had “dried” chicken noodle soup on it (Lipton Soup Secrets, Noodle Soup with “Real” Chicken Broth). She was not pleased, just because one serving contains a measly 670 mg of sodium. I mean, this is less than half of the recommended daily sodium intake of 1,500 mg. and not even a third of the “Tolerable Upper Intake Level of 2,300 mg. as set by the Centers of Disease Control. Besides, I told her, “I only use this soup when I have an upset stomach.”
To which she replied; “We have fresh chicken broth in the freezer you can use for that.”
“Chicken Broth!” “That’s not going to keep my blood sugar from bottoming out!”
“O.K.” she said. “I’ll throw a noodle in it.”
There’s enough “Heart” in her for both of us.
~~~~~
My Classmate Chuck Jackson is the absolute King of Dry Wit. As you can see below.
~
Must have been a mite peckish seeing as I just finished off a plate of cold fries with no salt, no catsup, and absolutely no qualms. Running at more than forty dollars a dozen here in Santiago, I can seldom afford having qualms when I eat anyway, and never at home. Say we go to mass, though - without a couple of qualms to cut my appetite, so to speak, why, I'd like as not drain the communion cup. Worse at protestant communion services as I have a tremendous weakness for concord grape juice. Near fell in love under a concord grape arbor once. 'Course that was just puppy stuff - stepped in lots of it over the years. If you're wearing work shoes, you have to have a pocket knife and a water hose to get it out of the treads. Even so, two times out of five you get it on your finger. Once on the finger, it finds it way to your ear, and you just end up with a big mess.
~
You'd be hard put to find anyone over twelve who didn't know the words to at least seventy or eighty songs. Me? My rote memory is so bad that I know the first verse to two (2), Happy Birthday to You and the Star Spangled Banner. But that never stopped me from singing; I've always made up any lines I couldn't rightly remember. When I go to church and there's no hymnal nearby on the pew, I just sing right out anyway. After that first hymn, there'll be three or four people handing me their hymnals and the preacher and choir looking on to make sure I get one.
~~~~~
If we didn't have enough things to terrify us (i.e. Susan Rice being appointed National Security Adviser, Samantha Power stepping up to U.S. ambassador to the United Nations, over 300 drone killings to date, seizing news media emails, NSA monitoring ALL our phone calls, etc. etc.) now clowns are hiding in the woods!
Russell Brasel writes; "I've run across various sorts of snakes, gators, and seen fresh evidence of bears while hiking, but this might be the only thing that would cause me to drop my pack and run."
This clown mannequin was reportedly placed on a hiking trail deep in the Oleta River in Aventura, Florida by a park employee who got it from the Enchanted Forest Elaine Gordon Park in North Miami.
If you went hiking through Oleta River in Aventura Florida last year, you probably had to change your pants a couple miles in. (imgur.com)
~~~~~
I guess there are only so many events folks can remember. But Thursday (June 6) there was nothing in the paper, nothing that I saw on the evening news. ... It's a crying shame. Especially since most everyone knows of someone who took part in the battle. For instance, a few years ago, while visiting a grave at the Shiloh Cemetery outside of Lamartine, I noticed a head stone that read;
"Lloyd J. Burchfield
Arkansas
Pvt 456 PRCHT FA BN
82 ABN Div
World War II
Sep. 15, 1921 - Jun. 6, 1944"
That's the 456th Parachute Field Artillery Battalion whose first combat jump was in Sicily on the evening of July 9, 1943, in support of the 82nd Airborne Division's 505th Parachute Infantry Regiment. The battalion's primary mission was to fire at enemy troops and tanks utilizing a high arc, or indirect fire. During the intense Battle of Biazza Ridge, however, the battery had scored its first victory against enemy tanks using direct fire.
Following the Sicilian campaign, Batteries C and D remained with the 82nd Airborne Division and transferred to England to prepare for the invasion of France transferring the 456th PFAB designation to the European Theater.
The mission of the 82d Airborne Division on D-Day was to: "Land by parachute and glider before and after dawn astride the MERDERET River, seize, clear and secure the general area: CR (261938) - CR (265958) - CR (269975) - RJ (274982) - RJ (283992) - Bridge (308987) - NEUVILLE AU PLAIN (340985) - BANDIENVILLE (360987) within its zone; capture ST. MERE EGLISE (349965); seize and secure the crossings of the MERDERET River at (315957) and (321930), and a bridgehead covering them, with MLR along the general line: CR (261938) - CR (265953) - CR (269975) - RJ (274982) - RJ (283992); seize and destroy the crossing of the DOUVE River at BEUZEVILLE LA BASTILLE (309911) and ETIENVILLE (also known as PONT L'ABBE) (269927); protect the northwest flank of VII Corps within the Division zone; and be prepared to advance west on Corps order to the line of the DOUVE north of its junction with the PRAIRIES MARECAGEUSES."
This Force was commanded by Brigadier General JAMES M. GAVIN, assistant Division Commander, and was to be committed before dawn of D-Day with the gliders containing the 456th artillery, following the main body of paratroopers and began landing at 0404 hours. The gliders encountered fog and flak and they were scattered, and many of them were damaged upon crashing into the small fields and high hedgerows.
Enemy reaction to the landing of the 82d Airborne Division in the NORMANDY area was prompt and severe. Pvt Burchfield is listed on the Battalion's "Role Of Honor" as being killed in action June 6, 1944 in Normandy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JkrqLoQXbpo
~~~~~
The U.S. Space Launch System, or SLS, will provide an entirely new capability for human exploration beyond Earth orbit. It also will back up commercial and international partner transportation services to the International Space Station. Designed to be flexible for crew or cargo missions, the SLS will be safe, affordable, and sustainable, to continue America's journey of discovery from the unique vantage point of space. The SLS will take astronauts farther into space than ever before, while engaging the U.S. aerospace workforce here at home.
The Initial 70-metric-ton SLS will stand 321 feet tall, provide 8.4 million pounds of thrust at liftoff, weigh 5.5 million pounds and carry 154,000 pounds of payload.
The massive 130-Metric-Ton Evolved Rocket Development configuration will be the most capable, powerful launch vehicle in history. Towering a staggering 384 feet tall, it will provide 9.2 million pounds of thrust at liftoff and weigh 6.5 million pounds. It will be able to carry payloads weighing 286,000 pounds to orbit. This configuration will use the same core stage, with four RS-25 engines, as the 70-metric-ton SLS.
http://www.nasa.gov/exploration/systems/sls/
http://www.nasa.gov/pdf/664158main_sls_fs_master.pdf
~~~~~
Also from Waneta [NOTE: I’ve edited out the name of the murder and victim in this story]
~
An “animal” shot and killed an innocent person in Georgia last March.
The killer is not a member of the NRA.
He did not use an assault rifle.
He did not get his stolen pistol from a gun show.
He did not attend Christian school, nor was he home schooled.
He did attend multicultural public education, and was not instructed in the Ten Commandments.
He already has a record for violent crimes.
He is gang member.
He never earned his hunter safety card, nor did he shoot CMP, Junior NRA, or 4H Air Rifle Competitions.
He was never instructed in gun safety from his father or grandfather.
He smokes weed.
While he has no job, nor was he looking for one, he is well fed, and does not need a job. He has no skills outside of crime.
He is not capable of doing a professional job interview, even though he spent 11 years in public education.
And as a side note...........
Today I swung my front door wide open and placed my Remington 870 right in the doorway.
I gave it 5 shells, then left it alone and went about my business.
While I was gone, the mailman delivered my mail, the neighbor boy across the street mowed the yard, a girl walked her dog down the street, and quite a few cars stopped at the stop sign just down from my house.
After about an hour, I checked on the gun. It was still sitting there, right where I had left it. It hadn't moved itself outside. It certainly hadn't killed anyone, even with the numerous opportunities it had been presented to do so. In fact, it hadn't even loaded itself.
Well you can imagine my surprise, with all the media hype about how dangerous guns are and how they kill people.
Either the media is wrong, and it's the misuse of guns by PEOPLE that kills people, or I'm in possession of the laziest gun in the world.
Alright, well I'm off to check on my spoons. I hear they're making people fat.
~~~~~
I remember my grandmother (Mrs. Mary Taylor) and my “mammy” (Mrs. Ida Mustifield) washing clothes this way using the wash pot in the back yard.
~
"Warshing" Clothes Recipe -- Imagine having a recipe for this! Years ago, an Alabama grandmother gave the new bride the following recipe exactly as written and found in an old scrapbook with spelling errors and all. (NOTE: For non-Southerners - wrench means rinse.)
WARSHING CLOTHES
Build fire in backyard to heat kettle of rain water.
Set tubs so smoke won’t blow in eyes if wind is pert.
Shave one hole cake of lie soap in boilin water.
Sort things, make 3 piles -- 1 pile white, 1 pile colored, 1 pile work britches and rags.
To make starch, stir flour in cool water to smooth, then thin down with boiling water.
Take white things, rub dirty spots on board, scrub hard, and boil, then rub colored don't boil just wrench and starch.
Take things out of kettle with broom stick handle, then wrench, and starch.
Hang old rags on fence.
Spread tea towels on grass.
Pore wrench water in flower bed.
Scrub porch with hot soapy water.
Turn tubs upside down.
Go put on clean dress, smooth hair with hair combs.
Brew cup of tea, sit, rock a spell, and count yore blessings.
~~~~~
Thanks to our friend Waneta Reardon for sharing this video with us. [http://puttinguptheflag.com/]
~~~~~
“Obama’s Arrogant Appointment”
You've got to hand it to him: President Obama's appointment of his U.N. ambassador, Susan Rice, to be his new national security advisor shows chutzpah!
Obama's administration is mired in accumulating scandals – from the Internal Revenue Service targeting his political enemies in the two years between a humiliating mid-term election drubbing and a successful re-election bid, to his attorney general's wholesale seizure of Associated Press phone records and fingering of Fox News correspondent James Rosen as a potential violator of the Espionage Act, to the public dissembling over the Benghazi attack and its fatal consequences for an American ambassador and three others.
For Obama to appoint to a White House post, exempt from Senate confirmation, a figure at the heart of one of these scandals -- the Benghazi attack – is a bold stroke. It's tempting to say that if Obama were as willing to take on America's implacable enemies overseas, like North Korea's Kim Jong Un or Iran's Islamic theocracy, as he is Congressional Republicans; perhaps we'd be having a bit more luck containing the looming nuclear-weapons-in-the-hands-of-lunatics menace that we face. ... G. Philip Hughes, U.S. News and World Report
http://www.usnews.com/opinion/blogs/g-philip-hughes/2013/06/06/obama-promoting-susan-rice-to-national-security-adviser-shows-extent-of-his-arrogance
~
While I agree with Mr. Hughes, in all fairness I have to remind my readers of a time when a Republican President did a similar thing. Ken Starr was initially appointed to investigate the suicide death of deputy White House counsel Vince Foster and the Whitewater real estate investments of Bill Clinton. The three-judge panel charged with administering the Independent Counsel Act later expanded the inquiry into numerous areas including an extramarital affair that Bill Clinton had with Monica Lewinsky. After several years of investigation (and untold millions of dollars) Starr filed the Starr Report which alleged that Bill Clinton had lied about existence of the affair during a sworn deposition.
The allegation that the President had lied (pshaw!), opened the door for the impeachment of Bill Clinton. And, after another expenditure of untold millions of dollars and who knows how many man-hours, the President was acquitted by the Senate on February 12, 1999.
What was Ken Starr’s punishment for wasting our money and time? He was appointed United States Solicitor General and served from 1989 to 1993 under President George H. W. Bush. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ken_Starr
Why do I care so much about Mr. Starr’s activities? Especially since I was no supporter of President Clinton? During Starr’s investigation, he epitomized the attitude of a Czar, using his subpoena powers to punish anyone who refused to lie for him (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Susan_McDougal) And for this, he was rewarded just as Susan Rice is being rewarded for lying to the public about the Benghazi incident so it wouldn’t adversely affect BO’s reelection bid.
Funny isn’t it. Clinton was impeached for lying and McDougal was imprisoned for not lying but the folks who really hurt the nation then and now get rewarded.
~~~~~
Rasmussin reports national polling results: 64% Say Most Members of Congress Don't Care What They Think
Voters remain convinced that Congress doesn't care what they think, and that includes the representative from their home district
~
Odds Grow Longer for Immigration Reform - - A Commentary By Scott Rasmussen
Many pundits assumed that this would be the year that comprehensive immigration reform became law. The conventional wisdom was that President Obama's re-election and his strong showing among Hispanic voters would force Republicans to go along.
Now, halfway through the year, the prospects for immigration reform have dimmed significantly.
Americans overwhelmingly feel that legal immigration is good for the country and think highly of immigrants. Seventy-six percent have a favorable view of immigrants who work hard, support their families and pursue the American Dream. Most (55 percent) still support the concept of comprehensive reform that will secure the border and legalize the status of many of those currently in the country illegally.
But they also want the system to work so that the border will be secure enough to prevent future illegal immigration.
http://www.rasmussenreports.com/public_content/political_commentary/commentary_by_scott_rasmussen/odds_grow_longer_for_immigration_reform
~~~~~
The Chicago Sun-Times laid off its entire full-time photography staff last week, including a Pulitzer Prize winner, in a move that the newspaper’s management said resulted from a need to shift toward more online video.
When questioned about the decision, the paper's management replied that they would rely on individual reporters taking photos for their stories.
I think they mistake the "Million Monkey" method of taking photos with a way to generate images that will be remembered for many decades.
Yes, with today’s proliferation of cameras on cell phones, tablets, etc. just about anyone can take a picture. But there's a big difference in taking a snapshot and knowing what to photograph, when to photograph it, how to photograph it and which photograph will work for the story.
http://www.newseum.org/exhibits-and-theaters/permanent-exhibits/pulitzer/
http://www.newseum.org/exhibits-and-theaters/permanent-exhibits/pulitzer/videos/pulitzer-prize-photos.html
~~~~~
Our classmate Chuck Jackson writes; “The U.S. Government is collecting millions of pieces of electronic data on us from telephone companies and internet services FOR OUR OWN GOOD. Trust the government. The government is our friend interested only in our safety and welfare. Trust the Justice Department, the IRS, and the State Department. These are our friends. (Our enemies must be in stitches by now.)”
Was I the only person who was disturbed by the passage of the USA PATRIOT (Uniting and Strengthening America by Providing Appropriate Tools Required to Intercept and Obstruct Terrorism) Act?
The Act dramatically reduced restrictions on law enforcement agencies' ability to search telephone, e-mail communications, medical, financial, and other records; eased restrictions on foreign intelligence gathering within the United States; expanded the Secretary of the Treasury’s authority to regulate financial transactions, particularly those involving foreign individuals and entities; and broadened the discretion of law enforcement.
Opponents of the law have criticized its authorization of indefinite detentions of immigrants; searches through which law enforcement officers search a home or business without the owner’s or the occupant’s permission or knowledge; the expanded use of National Security Letters, which allows the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) to search telephone, e-mail, and financial records without a court order; and the expanded access of law enforcement agencies to business records, including library and financial records. Since its passage, several legal challenges have been brought against the act, and Federal courts have ruled that a number of provisions are unconstitutional. With the latest excesses of the NSA and DOJ, I believe there will be many more court challenges. I hope they are successful in reigning in these liberty killing edicts.
I think Benjamin Franklin said it best: "Those who would give up Essential Liberty to purchase a little Temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety."
~~~~~
Photos on the front of this week’s “Bleat” include - - Josiah & Ethan help put up the sign after MCCs Spaghetti supper. Debra took this photo of me at the AR-1 DMAT meeting June 1 in Little Rock. Annette's Lilies still look good after the storm. I'm not sure exactly what's planted here but it reminds me of the "Invasion Of The Body Snatchers" movie. Her baskets and wall plantings make an easy photograph. This afternoon, the view from our eastern neighbor's home toward our northern neighbor's home was very relaxing.
~~~~~
ACC SmartBrief - - acc@smartbrief.com - - Senate bill seeks easier loan qualifications for energy-efficient houses
06/7/2013 | New York Times (http://www.nytimes.com/2013/06/07/business/senate-bill-sweetens-loans-for-energy-efficient-homes.html?_r=1&), The
A reintroduced Senate bill seeks to boost the buying power of people purchasing energy-efficient homes. Under the bill from Sens. Johnny Isakson, R-Ga., and Michael Bennet, D-Colo., homebuyers would qualify for larger mortgages than they normally would, provided they are using the mortgage to purchase an energy-efficient house. The bill will help promote energy-efficient home-building materials, which are usually "out of sight and out of mind and are not valued," Isakson said.
~~~~~
DarynKagan.com - - Where's Daryn?
So what up with the lack of new content? Why no daily newsletter from me?
I have a great excuse--I'm on a belated honeymoon with my new husband. We got married back in September, but with schedules, kids, and jobs and such, now seemed the best time to go.
I never was one to invest in order, anyway.
The Husband has whisked me away to a far away land and the most gorgeous beaches I've ever seen.
We're back next week and I promise pictures and of course, lots more uplifting and positive news!
So stay tuned!
~~~~~
Pea-Shirt artist Elizabeth Birchfield, a recent SAU graduate in Graphic Design (left) and festival chairman Ellie Baker show the 2013 PurpleHull Pea Festival Pea-Shirt. You can see Elizabeth's portfolio at: http://www.behance.net/elizabeth_birchfield
— with Ellie Mullins Baker at Emerson, Arkansas.
Supplemental to the Pea-Shirt. The "Small Town, Big Tillers" tank, and the "Peas Please Me" shirt, are available at Emerson Food Mart and Emerson Farmers Market. — at Emerson, Arkansas.
The Emerson PurpleHull Pea Festival “Million Tiller Parade” starts at 1 p.m. Saturday, June 29. The World Championship Rotary Tiller Race that evening. There are two classes, stock and modified but it's the modified class that most folks come to see. (PurpleHull.com)
Most tillers are powered by 5–10hp, gasoline engines. The tillers used in the Modified class are nothing like these stock machines. They must be based on a production tiller and retain the original gearbox and chassis. Beyond that, anything goes. The engine, throttle, and tines can be modified any way you choose, as long as the engine doesn't produce more than 50 hp.
Running behind a 50hp tiller--blades a spinnin'--is, well, nuts. A race begins with the machines idling, one competitor in each lane, with referees at the opposite end of the track working a stopwatch. A starter waves a flag, and the racers go for it. They must keep their feet on the ground and hands on the bars during the race. A three-second penalty is assessed for being dragged across the finish line or exiting the lane. YouTube has some nutty videos of racers who can't keep up with their machines and eat dirt. Search "rototiller racing" and be entertained.
Read more:
http://www.hotrod.com/feature_stories/hrdp_1211_hot_rod_anything_rocket_rototiller/#ixzz2VeHvxnCH
~~~~~
Favorite Quotes:
"Discernment is God's call to intercession, never to faultfinding."
Corrie Ten Boom
~
Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured. ~ Mark Twain - - Thanks to Ron Hazelton
~
The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets.
Will Rogers
This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.
Will Rogers
If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress.
Will Rogers
~
Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.
Mark Twain
It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native criminal class except Congress.
Mark Twain
~~~~~
The following wisdom is shared by our friends.
~
Chuck Jackson
Who told? C´mon, fess up. My little secret about leaving twenty minutes before rush hour to beat the traffic is OUT! I think half of Santiago is on to it now.
Just because you're offended, doesn't mean you're right.
~
Nancee Davis Law
When God shows up, He shows out.
Life without music is like cookies without milk
God is faithful even if we are faithless.
Before you complain about how GOD treats you, you should think of how you treat GOD
God isn’t against you having nice things. He’s against nice things having you
Prayer is an open channel to God's heart.
I could definitely become a morning person...if it started later in the day.
I had a thought that I need to clean today but hopefully that thought will pass.
Your tongue can be a powerful weapon. be careful what you say.
~
Dustin McClellan
I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue are the colors of freedom until they are flashing behind you.
~
Quinton Riggins
Does the US government approve of what you have posted on FB today?
Still thinking about being a storm chaser? I'm not.
Warning!!! Men: please do not tell your wife the truth if she asks you if her clothes are looking too tight. I'll be okay. The bruises should clear up in a week or two.
~
Norma Kay Rowe
Joyce Meyer Ministries
It's our duty as Christians to forgive. God teaches us that. He did it first!
what if we woke up this morning with only the things we thanked God for yesterday. I would be in trouble for sure!!
If you want peace, then you need to be willing to make the changes required to obtain it!!!!! Joyce Meyer
~
Dalicia Torrence
" Never let another person define how you feel about you. "
-T.D. Jakes
~~~~~
AskBob - - Bob Rankin - - HELP... My Email Was Hijacked!
Category: Email
A reader asks: 'Can you please help, somehow my email account got hijacked, and now all my friends are getting spam, from me! I am always careful with my password. How could this have happened, and what should I do?'
Read more: http://askbobrankin.com/help_my_email_was_hijacked.html#ixzz2VeMkO9kH
~
Is Someone Stealing My WiFi?
Category: Wireless
Is your wireless Internet connection sometimes mysteriously slow? It's possible that you're sharing it with a stranger. But how can you know for sure if a neighbor or a malicious hacker has tapped into your wifi? Read on to learn how you can detect bandwidth bandits, and give them the boot...
Read more: http://askbobrankin.com/is_someone_stealing_my_wifi.html#ixzz2VeN89Utu
~~~~~
Diabetes Life - - www.dlife.com
Blueberry Cheese "Danish" - - Super healthy, low carb version of a decadent breakfast treat.
Prep Time: 10 minutes
Cook Time: 5 minutes
Difficulty: Easy
Nutrition Facts
Makes 2 servings
Amount Per Serving
Calories 138.7
Total Carbs 9.4 g
Dietary Fiber 2.4 g
Sugars 3.7 g
Total Fat 10.6 g
Saturated Fat 6.0 g
Unsaturated Fat 0.4 g
Potassium 54.9 mg
Protein 4.4 g
Sodium 65.0 mg
Dietary Exchanges
10.5989 Fat, 0.3515 Fruits,
Ingredients
1 tsp unsalted butter
3 tbsp cream cheese
0 1/2 cup fresh blueberries
1 piece lavash (flax, oat bran, whole wheat)
Directions
Preheat oven or toaster oven to 325°F. Wrap lavash in foil. Place on center oven rack for 10 minutes.
Remove from foil.
On warmed lavash, spread, butter, cream cheese, and top with mashed blueberries.
Slice in half, and roll into two portions. Secure with toothpicks.
Replace on foil, heat 5 minutes in oven.
http://www.dlife.com/diabetes/diabetic-recipes/reciperesults.html?recipeId=10383440&utm_source=Foodstuff-20130604&utm_medium=eNewsletter&utm_content=Foodstuff-newsletter&utm_term=Focused&utm_campaign=dLife-eNewsletter&
~~~~~
The latest from Michael Yon, the foremost “milnews” blogger on the web.
~
Greetings,
Verizon secretly ordered to turn over phone records. This has been breaking news in the UK.
Remember the Cold War when we were fighting against these things? Now we are these things.
[http://www.michaelyon-online.com/verizon-ordered-to-turn-over-records.htm]
Very Respectfully,
Michael Yon
Your Writer,
Please remember that this website accepts no advertisement and is dependent on your support.
PS Please sign up for my Twitter.com updates at "Michael_Yon" [http://twitter.com/Michael_Yon] (not Michael Yon).
http://www.facebook.com/#/MichaelYonFanPage?ref=sgm
~
www.michaelyon-online.com
~
Http://www.michaelyon_online.com/index.php
~~~~~
If you would like to encourage US Troops overseas, but are not sure just how to begin, visit www.anysoldier.com for ideas.
~~~~~
5 Things New Veterans Expect From All Candidates
1. Defend the New GI Bill
2. Employ the New Greatest Generation
3. Prevent suicide among troops and veterans
4. Build a truly 21st Century VA
5. Improve Care for Female Veterans
http://iava.org/blog/5-things-new-veterans-expect-all-candidates-2012
~~~~~
Please remember ... America is not at war. The U.S. Military is at war. America is at the MALL.
~~~~~
"Today's Seed" from E-MIN
You brought me more happiness than a rich harvest of grain and grapes. I can lie down and sleep soundly because you, LORD, will keep me safe. (Psa 4:7-8 CEV)
Sign up to receive your own Today's Seed: www.e-min.org/msg.htm - -Share Today's Seed with family & friends: www.e-min.org/rects.htm Connect with Randall: www.facebook.com/RandallVaughnBooks or www.twitter.com/randallvaughn Get Randall's new book: My Lyrics, My Life https://www.createspace.com/4092337
Today's Seed by Randall Vaughn is published daily (M-F) by E-MIN Global Ministries, P O Box 220, Warrior, AL 35180 (USA) www.e-min.org Copyright Terms/Permissions/List Privacy www.e-min.org/tp.htm Today's Seed(TM) (c) 2012 Randall Vaughn All Rights Reserved Worldwide.
~~~~~
http://www.shelfari.com
http://www.shelfari.com/bugsbleat/shelf
~~~~~
For the latest issue of "Da Bleat.", go to http://www.bugsbleat.blogspot.com.
Our photos are posted at http://www.bugsbleatphotos.blogspot.com.
~~~~~
Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
~~~~~
“… Christians we can’t be blind-sided by the accelerating speed at which the culture is jettisoning traditional views of sexuality. Nor should we be intimidated by the hostility we’ll face for our beliefs.”
BreakPoint - - Not that There's Anything Wrong with That - - What Is -- or Isn’t -- Homophobic
By: Eric Metaxas|
Cultural views on homosexuality are changing so rapidly, it’s hard to keep track of what is or isn’t homophobic anymore.
Eric Metaxas
In a classic episode of “Seinfeld” entitled “The Outing,” a student reporter is convinced that Jerry and George Costanza are gay. They strenuously deny being gay, while adding “not that there's anything wrong with that.”
The phrase almost immediately became part of the way Americans talk about homosexuality.
The “Seinfeld” episode came to mind while reading recently about the brouhaha concerning Roy Hibbert of the NBA’s Indiana Pacers. During a press conference, Hibbert used profanity and commented about being “stretched out” on the basketball court. And then he used the phrase “no homo.”
If you’re unfamiliar with that phrase, you’re not alone. It’s an expression from rap music asserting that “the speaker of such does not have any homosexual intent.”
If that sounds like Wikipedia, that’s because it is. I didn’t know what it meant, and I strongly suspect that 99 percent of the people in the room didn’t either. That didn’t stop news of Hibbert’s “gay slur” from becoming the biggest sports story of the weekend.
The NBA fined Hibbert $75,000, saying it was necessary to demonstrate that “such offensive comments will not be tolerated.” I think that comes out to $25,000 per syllable.
I’m not going to defend Hibbert. His profanity alone warranted a fine, and absent his “no homo” comment, I doubt that anyone would have read anything sexual into what he said.
But I can’t help but notice that what constitutes a “gay slur” is a moving target. LeBron James used the same phrase a few years back and nobody cared.
Again, I’m not defending anyone—I’m simply noting how fast the definitions of “homophobia” and “bigotry” are changing.
Take the issue of same-sex marriage. A few weeks ago, Michael Kinsley of the New Republic, commenting on the furor over Dr. Ben Carson’s opposition to same-sex marriage, rightly noted that Carson “has views on gay rights somewhat more progressive than those of the average Democratic senator ten years ago.”
In fact, Carson’s position is about the same as President Obama’s position just two years ago! Yet, Carson’s opinion is considered beyond-the-pale in many circles today.
All of this has me wondering whether a Seinfeld episode like “The Outing” could even be produced today. The phrase “not that there's anything wrong with that” was a classic because it captured the audience’s ambivalence about homosexuality: While people aspired to be “tolerant” and “open-minded,” they certainly didn’t want others thinking that they engaged in same-sex relations.
Some commentators are displaying the same ambivalence in reaction to the new HBO film on Liberace. They confess to being put off by the homosexual content—all the while feeling guilty about being put off.
If such ambivalence isn’t already branded as “homophobia,” it will be soon. The mere suggestion that there might be something wrong with same-sex relationships will be considered “homophobia.”
So why bring this up on BreakPoint? Well, as Christians we can’t be blind-sided by the accelerating speed at which the culture is jettisoning traditional views of sexuality. Nor should we be intimidated by the hostility we’ll face for our beliefs.
It may be that the culture will soon be beyond repair—that traditional views will not be tolerated. Or maybe not. But one thing’s for certain, we must, by God’s grace, hold fast to His plan for human sexuality: marriage between one man and one woman, one time, for the couple’s mutual joy and the procreation of children.
Only then will we be able to preserve—or perhaps create anew—a culture of life, goodness, health, and beauty.
And nothing is wrong with that.
~
Takeaction - Next Steps
It seems everything has become a battleground for ideology. Be aware of this when engaging in today’s cultural setting. It's important to stand up for the truth, even though conversations may be difficult and costly in this sometimes hostile environment.
Promote the culture of life, goodness, health, and beauty as Eric discussed, doing it winsomely and with grace.
Articles:
Shutting Down Free Speech [http://www.breakpoint.org/commentaries/2629-shutting-down-free-speech]
Chuck Colson | BreakPoint.org | July 25, 2007
The Coming Persecution [http://www.breakpoint.org/commentaries/2398-the-coming-persecution]
Chuck Colson | BreakPoint.org | July 1, 2008
The Thought Police [http://www.breakpoint.org/bpcommentaries/breakpoint-commentaries-search/entry/13/10733]
Chuck Colson | BreakPoint.org | May 1, 2007
When Two So-Called “Married” Women (or Men) Repent
John Piper | desiringgod.org | June 4, 2013 [http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/when-two-so-called-married-women-or-men-repent]
[http://www.breakpoint.org/bpcommentaries]
Copyright © 2013 Colson Center. All Rights Reserved
~~~~~
Residents of Columbia County, Arkansas are represented in Congress by:
~
Senator John Boozman (R_ AR)
1 Russell Courtyard
Washington DC, 20510
Phone: 202-224-4843
http://boozman.senate.gov/
~
Senator Mark Pryor (D_ AR)
Phone 202_224_2353
FAX 202_228_0908
http://pryor.senate.gov/
~
Representative Tom Cotton (R )
Phone 202_225_3772
FAX 202_225_1314
http://cotton.house.gov/
Other states congresspersons can be found at: [http://www.visi.com/juan/congress/]
~~~~~
THOUGHT OF THE DAY:
"One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture and, if it were possible, speak a few reasonable words." - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
"Everything should be kept as simple as possible, but no simpler." - Albert Einstein
"The reading of all good books is like a conversation with the finest men of past centuries." - Rene Descartes
"Action is the antidote to despair." - Joan Baez
"To be without some of the things you want is an indispensable part of happiness." - Bertrand Russell
"No man for any considerable period can wear one face to himself and another to the multitude, without finally getting bewildered as to which may be the true." - Nathaniel Hawthorne
"Live a balanced life. Learn some and think some, and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some." - Robert Fulghum
~~~~~
Breaking Christian News
Author Stephen King has revealed he believes in God, saying those that don't are ignoring creation.
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=11691
Huge Breakthrough for Multiple Sclerosis Treatment “Our approach leaves the function of the normal immune system intact. That's the holy grail." -Stephen Miller
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=11736
editor@breakingchristiannews.com
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
GCF: If this was forwarded to you, please consider your own subscription to Good Clean Fun. It's free! Just send an email to: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
_ _______________________________ _
GCF: Geology Degree
My parents scoffed, but I knew my college degree in geology would come in handy one day. It was during Army Basic Training in Texas and I was pulling KP duty.
When the sergeant asked me what I did in civilian life, I proudly said that I was a geologist.
"Good. I'm looking for someone with your background," he said, while dropping a bulging sack onto the table. "You've got just the right qualifications to pick the rocks out of these potatoes before you peel them."
_ _______________________________ _
GCF: Emergency Call
Shopping one afternoon, I was paged to come to the mall office. I rushed over and an office clerk said that I was to call home right away.
Fearing the worst, I found a pay phone. When my teenage daughter answered, I immediately asked what was wrong. "Everything's fine, Mom," she said. "But I have a date in an hour and I want to wear the shoes you have on."
_ _______________________________ _
My four-year-old likes to say the blessing at mealtimes, usually repeating the same short prayer: "Thank you, God, for this gracious food. Amen."
One evening, however, he offered thanks for the birds, the trees, each of his friends, and asked God to watch over his family and help them to be good.
I was thrilled that he was finally praying from the heart.
But after the "Amen," he took a spoonful of stew, gasped, then dropped his spoon into the bowl. "I should have said a longer prayer, my food is still too hot!"
_ _______________________________ _
We baby boomers know that our daughters don't share the same need to iron that we do.
This became very apparent while visiting our daughter on our way home from an extended trip. After doing my laundry, I asked my daughter for her iron and ironing board, which she retrieved from the far reaches of her storage room.
I was about to plug the iron into the outlet when my grandson walked by and said, "Gramma, is that going to be noisy?"
_ _______________________________ _
A co-worker was telling us about her sister who was coming to visit her. Someone asked how old her sister was, at which she paused, thought for a bit, and then answered, "She's half as old as I am, that's how I always remember."
So someone else (okay, it was me) said, "That's neat ... so every year that you age, she only ages half a year?"
My co-worker thought about that, and then said, "Oh, yeah, I guess it only works on even years."
_ _______________________________ _
GCF: 12-Hour Shifts
A nurse had been doing twelve-hour shifts on a medical/surgical unit. One evening she finally got to enjoy an action movie with her husband.
They were sitting in the theater holding hands. During the exciting chase scene, he turned to her and said. "Look, if you wanna hold hands, fine. But quit taking my pulse, okay?"
_ _______________________________ _
GCF: Sanctuary Lamp
A little boy was listening to a long and excessively boring sermon in church. Suddenly the red sanctuary lamp caught his eye.
Tugging his father's sleeve, he said, "When the light turns green, can we go?"
_ _______________________________ _
GCF: Headlights On
As I pulled into the parking lot at the department store, I noticed a car with its headlights on. I jotted down the make, color and license number. Inside the store I joined the line at the information desk.
When the clerk reached me, I told her a white Ford in the parking lot had its lights on and gave her the number.
"Thank you," she replied, and went on to another customer.
The lady next to me asked her indignantly, "Aren't you going to announce it?"
"There's no need," she replied sheepishly. "That car belongs to me."
_ _______________________________ _
GCF: Marinate?
One evening a man was very impressed with the meat entree his wife had served. "What did you marinate this in?" he asked.
His wife immediately went into a long explanation about how much she loved him and how life wouldn't be the same without him, etc.
Eventually, his puzzled expression made her interrupt her answer with a question of her own, "What did you ask me?"
She chuckled at his answer and explained, "I thought you asked me if I would marry you again!"
As she left the room, he called out, "Well, would you marry me again?"
Without hesitation, she said, "Vinegar and barbecue sauce."
_ _______________________________ _
GCF: Fishing with Mom
I took my mother on a fishing excursion yesterday. Nobody was having any luck. After drifting for hours without so much as a nibble, who should hook into one but my Mom. Everyone on the boat was excited, cheering the old woman on and telling her to take her time.
Finally she lifted the fish into the boat, picked it up, removed the hook, looked at it up and down, and then tossed it back into the water.
I was stunned. I said, "Mom, why did you throw that fish back into the water?"
"I don't know. To me it just didn't look fresh."
_ _______________________________ _
GCF: Cup of Coffee?
In our home we tend to get the children to help out. One day our youngest son came in to the living room and asked, "Does anyone want a cup of coffee?"
"Yes please!" we said.
He replied, "What kind of coffee do you want? Capitated or decapitated?"
_ _______________________________ _
GCF: Oven Mitt
At day care, a four-year-old watched as a teacher pulled something hot from the oven.
"What's that on your hand?" he asked.
"An oven mitt," she said. "It keeps me from getting burned. Doesn't your mother use them?
"No, my mom's just really careful when she opens the pizza box."
_ _______________________________ _
GCF: Grading the Fall
John was a construction foreman. One day he tumbled from a scaffold, managing to break his fall by grabbing on to parts of the scaffold on the way down. He received only minor scratches.
Embarrassed by the fall, he climbed back up to continue working. Then he noticed his co-workers holding up hastily-made signs reading, 9.6, 9.8, and 9.4.
_ _______________________________ _
GCF: Back to School
After raising 4 children, and losing my husband, I decided to return to college and get the degree I had started, but never finished. And so, on my first day of college, eager with anticipation, and more than a little nervous, I took a front row seat in my first class in over 40 years, a literature course.
The professor told us we would be responsible for reading five books over the course of the semester, and that he would provide us with a list of authors from which we could choose.
He ambled over to the lectern, took out his class book, and began "Baker, Black, Brooks, Carter, Cook..."
I was working feverishly to get down all the names, when I felt a tap on my shoulder.
The student behind me whispered, "Slow down! He's just taking attendance!"
_ _______________________________ _
GCF: Kitchen
I heard recently about a stay-at-home Mom. One
evening she went to a PTA meeting and her husband and her oldest daughter got together and decided they would clean up the kitchen for her.
They put away all the food, wiped all the counters, washed all the pots and put them away, put the dishes in the dishwasher and ran it. They swept and mopped the floors and then sat down, awaiting her arrival.
Two hours later she returned from the meeting, took off her coat, hung it up, walked through the kitchen into the den, grabbed the remote control, and began watching television. They followed her over to her chair and stood by her side.
Finally she felt them looking over her shoulder and looked up at them and said, "What?"
Her husband said, "The kitchen."
"The kitchen. What?"
"The kitchen. We cleaned up the kitchen. Didn't you notice? It's sparkling clean. We cleaned it for you."
The woman replied, "Yes, I noticed. Thankless job, isn't it?
_ _______________________________ _
/ )| Thomas S. Ellsworth |( \
/ / | tellswor@slonet.org | \ \
_( (_ | http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor | _) )_
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_||_/ )___________________( \_||_/ )___________________( \_||_/ )___________________( \_||_/ )___________________( \_||_/ )___________________( \_||_/ )___________________( \_||_/ )___________________( \_||_/ )___________________( \_||_/ )___________________( \_||_/ )___________________( \_||_/ )___________________( \_||_/ )___________________( \_||_/ )___________________( \_||_/ )___________________( \_||_/ )___________________( \_|<> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation. "He's a funeral director," she answered. "Interesting," the newsman thought...
He then asked her if she wouldn't mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living. She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years. After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she had first married a banker when she was in her 20's, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40's, and a preacher when in her 60's, and now - in her 80's - a funeral director.
The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers.
She smiled and explained,
"I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go."
Thanks to Waneta
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
WHERE TO RETIRE
You can retire to Phoenix, Arizona where...
1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.
2. You've experienced condensation on your hiney from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
5. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door.
6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!
OR
You can retire to California where...
1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
3. You know how to eat an artichoke.
4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
5. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
6. The 4 seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought.
OR
You can retire to New York City where...
1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan .
2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
3. You think Central Park is "nature."
4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.
5. You've worn out a car horn. (if you have a car).
6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.
OR
You can retire to Minnesota where...
1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco .
2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
3. You have more than one recipe for casserole.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.
OR
You can retire to the Deep South where...
1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2. "Y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.
3. "He needed killin" is a valid defense.
4. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Ellen, Betty Jean, Mary Beth, etc etc.
5. Everything is either "in yonder," "over yonder" or "out yonder." It's important to know the difference, too.
OR
You can retire to Colorado where...
1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and so he stops at the day care center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.
OR
You can retire to the Midwest where...
1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from "Heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"
5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different!"
OR
FINALLY You can retire to Florida where...
1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you often appear to be driven by headless people.
Thanks to Waneta
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
WISDOM FROM MILITARY TRAINING MANUALS
'If the enemy is in range, so are you.'
- Infantry Journal -
___________________________________
'It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.'
- US. Air Force Manual -
___________________________________
'Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword, obviously never encountered automatic weapons.'
- General Douglas MacArthur -
___________________________________
'Tracers work both ways.'
- Army Ordnance Manual-
___________________________________
'Five-second fuses last about three seconds.'
- Infantry Journal -
___________________________________
'Any ship can be a minesweeper. Once.'
- Naval Ops Manual -
___________________________________
'Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.'
- Unknown Infantry Recruit-
___________________________________
'If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up to him.'
- Infantry Journal-
___________________________________
'Yea, Though I Fly Through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I Shall Fear No Evil. For I am at 50,000 Feet and Climbing.'
- Sign over SR71 Wing Ops-
___________________________________
'You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3.'
- Paul F. Crickmore (SR71 test pilot)-
___________________________________
'The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.'
- Unknown Author-
___________________________________
'If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage it has to be a helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe.'
- Fixed Wing Pilot-
___________________________________
'When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane, you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash.'
-Multi-Engine Training Manual-
___________________________________
'Without ammunition, the Air Force is just an expensive flying club.'
-Unknown Author-
___________________________________
'If you hear me yell; "Eject, Eject, Eject!", the last two will be echos.'
If you stop to ask "Why?", you'll be talking to yourself, because by then you'll be the pilot.'
-Pre-flight Briefing from a Canadian F104 Pilot-
___________________________________
'What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots?
If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; but If ATC screws up, .... the pilot dies.'
-Sign over Control Tower Door-
___________________________________
'Never trade luck for skill.'
-Author Unknown-
___________________________________
The three most common expressions (or famous last words) in military aviation are:' Did you feel that?' 'What's that noise?' and 'Oh S...!'
-Authors Unknown-
___________________________________
'Airspeed, altitude and brains . Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight.'
-Basic Flight Training Manual-
___________________________________
'Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything about it..'
- Emergency Checklist-
___________________________________
'The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you.'
- Attributed to Max Stanley ( Northrop test pilot) -
___________________________________
'There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime.'
-Sign over Squadron Ops Desk at Davis-Montham AFB , AZ-
___________________________________
'You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal.'
- Lead-in Fighter Training Manual -
___________________________________
As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives.
The rescuer sees the bloodied pilot and asks, 'What happened?'
The pilot's reply: 'I don't know, I just got here myself!'
Thanks to Joe Mullins
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Globalization?
This is probably the easiest rational explanation
of globalization that I can understand:
What is the truest definition of Globalization? Princess Diana's death.
An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a French tunnel, riding in a German car with a Dutch engine, driven by a Belgian who was drunk on Scottish whisky, (check the bottle before you change the spelling), followed closely by Italian Paparazzi, on Japanese motorcycles, treated by an American doctor, using Brazilian medicines.
This is sent to you by a Canadian, using American Bill Gates' technology, and you're probably reading this on your computer, that uses Taiwanese chips, and a Korean monitor, assembled by Bangladeshi workers in a Singapore plant, transported by Indian truck drivers, hijacked by Indonesians, unloaded by Sicilian longshoremen, and trucked to you by Mexican illegals.....
That, my friends, is Globalization !
Thanks to Corrine Reagan
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Would You Like Dinner?
On an airplane, the flight attendant asked a man, "Would you like dinner?"
The man responded, "What are my choices?"
The flight attendant answered, "Yes, or no."
Received from dadiodio.
(_:][:_)
Can Cold Water Clean Dishes?
John went to visit his 90-year-old grandfather in a very secluded rural area of Saskatchewan. After spending a great evening chatting the night away, the next morning John's grandfather prepared a breakfast of bacon, eggs, and toast.
However, John noticed a film-like substance on his plate. He questioned his grandfather, "Are these plates clean?"
His grandfather replied, "They're as clean as cold water can get 'em. Just you go ahead and finish your meal, Sonny!"
For lunch the old man made hamburgers.
Again, John was concerned about the plates, as his appeared to have tiny specks around the edge that looked like dried egg. He asked, "Are you sure these plates are clean?"
Without looking up, the old man said, "I told you before, Sonny, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them. Now don't you fret. I don't want to hear another word about it!"
Later that afternoon, John was on his way to a nearby town, and as he was leaving, his grandfather's dog started to growl and wouldn't let him pass.
John yelled and said, "Grandfather, your dog won't let me get to my car!"
Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching on TV, the old man shouted, "Coldwater, go lay down now, yah hear me!"
Received from Reed Remington.
(_:][:_)
The homeowner was delighted with the way the painter had done all the work on his house. "You did a great job," he said as he handed the man a check. "Also, in order to thank you, here's an extra $80 to take the missus out to dinner and a movie."
Later that night, the doorbell rang and it was the painter. Thinking the man had forgotten something, he asked, "What's the matter? Did you forget something?"
"Nope," replied the painter. "I'm just here to take your missus out to dinner and a movie like you asked."
Received from Clean-Laffs.
(_:][:_)
Eileen's two-year-old great-grandson was excited about having his birthday in a few days. When asked how old he would be, he always said he would be four and held up four fingers.
His mother tried to explain that he would be three, that three came after two, but he wasn't convinced.
He told her that he had to be four because when he tried to hold up three fingers, the fourth came up too.
Received from Doc's Daily Chuckle.
(_:][:_)
What Would Look Sillier?
A salesman was trying to talk a farmer into buying a bicycle, but was meeting with considerable sales resistance.
"Shucks, I'd sooner spend my money on a cow," said the farmer.
"Ah," replied the salesman, "but think how silly you'd look riding around on a cow."
"Humph!" retorted the farmer. "Not near as silly as I'd look trying to milk a bicycle!"
Received from Andychap.
(_:][:_)
The Gorilla
There was a man who owned a giant gorilla and he'd never left it on its own. But eventually he had to take a trip, so he left his gorilla in the care of his next-door neighbor. He explained to his neighbor that all he had to do was feed his gorilla three bananas a day at three, six, and nine o'clock. But he was never ever to touch its fur.
So the next day the man came and gave the gorilla a banana and looked at it for a while thinking, "Why can't I touch its fur? Nothing seems to be wrong with it."
Every day he came in and sized up the gorilla for a little while longer as he still couldn't understand. About a week later, he'd worked himself into a frenzy and decided that he was going to touch the gorilla. He passed it the banana and very gently brushed the back of his hand against its fur.
Suddenly the gorilla went "ape" and started to violently jump around. Then it turned and began to running towards the man who, in turn, ran through the front door, over the lawn, across the street, into a sports car, and drove off.
In the rear-view mirror, he could see the gorilla in another sports car, driving right behind him and motioning for him to pull over. He drove for two hours until the engine began to splutter and the car just stopped. He jumped out and began to run down the street, over a brick wall, into someone's front garden, and up an apple tree. He turned around to find the gorilla right behind him beating its chest.
The man jumped down and ran back into the street screaming, until it became dark and he thought he'd lost the gorilla. The man ran into an alleyway then, suddenly, he saw a giant shadow coming down the street ahead. It was the gorilla!
This time there was no escape. As the gorilla neared him, the man began to feel faint. The giant beast came face to face with him, slowly raised its mighty hand and said, "Tag! You're it!"
Received from Mikala.
(_:][:_)
Top Ten Things You Don't Want to Hear During Surgery
10. Whoops! Somebody grab that ... we may need to put it back in later.
9. Spike! Spike! Come back with that! Bad dog! Bad, bad dog!
8. Is that supposed to be there? The book said it should be on the other side.
7. Sterile, schmerile.
6. That's cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?
5. Gosh, if this works, I hope they name the procedure after me!
4. Okay, we're ready for the transplant, wheel in the pig.
3. Don't worry, I think it's sharp enough.
2. No, don't throw that away, we'll probably need it for the autopsy.
AND THE NUMBER ONE THING YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR DURING SURGERY?
1. Can you stop that thing from beating? It's throwing my concentration off.
Received from Doc's Daily Chuckle.
(_:][:_)
Magnet
A teacher gave her class of second graders a lesson on the magnet and what it does.
The next day in a written test, she included this question: "My full name has six letters. The first one is M. I am strong and attractive. I pick up things. What am I?"
When the test papers were turned in, the teacher was astonished to find that almost 50 percent of the students answered the question with the word "Mother."
Received from Doc's Daily Chuckle.
(_:][:_)
To Mothers
This is for the mothers who have sat up all night with sick toddlers in their arms, wiping up barf laced with Oscar Mayer wieners and cherry Kool-Aid saying, "It's okay, honey, Mommy's here."
Who have sat in rocking chairs for hours on end soothing crying babies who can't be comforted.
This is for all the mothers who show up at work with spit-up in their hair and milk stains on their blouses and diapers in their purses.
For all the mothers who run carpools and make cookies and sew Halloween costumes. And all the mothers who DON'T.
This is for the mothers who gave birth to babies they'll never see. And the mothers who took those babies and gave them homes.
This is for the mothers whose priceless art collections are hanging on their refrigerator doors.
And for all the mothers who froze their buns on metal bleachers at football or soccer games instead of watching from the warmth of their cars.
And that when their kids asked, "Did you see me, Mom?" they could say, "Of course, I wouldn't have missed it for the world," and meant it.
This is for all the mothers who yell at their kids in the grocery store and swat them in despair when they stomp their feet and scream for ice cream before dinner. And for all the mothers who count to ten instead, but realize how child abuse happens.
This is for all the mothers who sat down with their children and explained all about making babies. And for all the (grand)mothers who wanted to, but just couldn't find the words.
This is for all the mothers who go hungry, so their children can eat.
For all the mothers who read "Goodnight, Moon" twice a night for a year. And then read it again. "Just one more time."
This is for all the mothers who taught their children to tie their shoelaces before they started school. And for all the mothers who opted for Velcro instead.
This is for all the mothers who teach their sons to cook and their daughters to sink a jump shot.
This is for every mother whose head turns automatically when a little voice calls "Mom?" in a crowd, even though they know their own offspring are at home -- or even away at college or have their own families.
This is for all the mothers who sent their kids to school with stomach aches, assuring them they'd be just FINE once they got there, only to get calls from the school nurse an hour later asking them to please pick them up. Right away.
This is for mothers whose children have gone astray, who can't find the words to reach them.
For all the mothers who bite their lips until they bleed when their 14-year-olds dye their hair green.
For all the mothers of the victims of recent school shootings, and the mothers of those who did the shootings.
For the mothers of the survivors, and the mothers who sat in front of their TVs in horror, hugging their children who just came home from school safely.
This is for all the mothers who taught their children to be peaceful, and now pray they come home safely from a war.
What makes a good mother anyway? Is it patience? Compassion? Broad hips? The ability to nurse a baby, cook dinner, and sew a button on a shirt, all at the same time?
Or is it in her heart?
Is it the ache you feel when you watch your son or daughter disappear down the street, walking to school alone for the very first time?
The jolt that takes you from sleep to dread, from bed to crib at 2 A.M. to put your hand on the back of a sleeping baby?
The panic, years later, that comes again at 2 A.M. when you just want to hear their key in the door and know they are safe again in your home?
Or the need to flee from wherever you are and hug your child when you hear news of a fire, a car accident, a child dying?
The emotions of motherhood are universal and so our thoughts are for young mothers stumbling through diaper changes and sleep deprivation... And mature mothers learning to let go.
For working mothers and stay-at-home mothers.
Single mothers and married mothers.
Mothers with money, mothers without.
This is for you all. For all of us...
Hang in there. In the end we can only do the best we can.
Tell them every day that we love them. And pray and never stop being a mom.
Please pass along to all the moms in your life.
"Home is what catches you when you fall - and we all fall."
Please pass this to a wonderful mother you know. (I just did!)
Received from FranCMT2.
(_:][:_)
Peace and Quiet
Aunt Karen is the mother of two high-spirited young girls.
When I called her one morning, our conversation was constantly interrupted by the din of kids screaming and chasing each other. "Could you hold on for a moment?" my aunt finally asked, putting down the phone.
Within ten seconds all I could hear was absolute silence.
Then, "Okay, I'm back."
"But it's so quiet!" I exclaimed. "You must have complete control over those two."
"Not really," my aunt confessed wearily. "I'm in the
closet."
Received from Steve Brundage, Reader's Digest.
(_:][:_)
The Chief
"Next," the conference emcee announced, "we have the chief of the Minnesota State Patrol, Roger Ledding, who is here with his lovely wife, Beverly."
The chief took his place at the lectern. "I'm a little nervous," he began, "getting up before this distinguished audience and speaking today. But not nearly as nervous as I will be tonight when I must go home with my wife, Audrey, and explain Beverly to her!"
Received from Steve Sanderson.
(_:][:_)
Uncle Ted
Billy's homework assignment is to think of a true story with a moral so he goes home and thinks about it all night and finally has one.
The following day, Suzy raises her hand first and says, "My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road."
The teacher asks for the moral to the story. Suzy replies, "Don't put all your eggs in one basket."
Next is Lucy. "Well, my dad owns a farm, too, and every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. Last weekend only 8 of the 12 eggs hatched. The moral is, don't count your chicks before they are hatched.''
Billy is last to speak. He says, ''My uncle Ted fought in the Vietnam War. His plane was shot down over enemy territory. He jumped out before it crashed, with only a parachute, a bottle of bourbon, a machine gun, and a machete. As he floated down he drank the bottle of bourbon. Unfortunately, he landed right in the middle of 100 North Vietnamese soldiers. He shot 70 with his machine gun, but ran out of bullets so he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more. The blade broke on his machete, so he killed the last 10 with his bare hands.''
The teacher looks in shock at Billy and asks if there is possibly any moral to his story.
Billy replies, "Don't mess with my Uncle Ted when he's been drinking.''
Received from Mikala.
(_:][:_)
Elk Hunting
Bubba and Jake chartered a plane with a pilot to drop them off in the wilds of Alaska for a week of elk hunting, just the same as they did the year before.
When the pilot returned with the plane, Bubba exclaimed joyfully to the pilot, "We had a great hunting trip! We bagged four elk!"
The pilot regretfully explained, "Unfortunately, our plane can only fly with the weight of two elk. You'll have to leave the other two behind."
Bubba and Jake were both infuriated and insistent. "We won't allow you to fly this plane out without all four elk," Jake demanded.
The eager-to-please pilot relented and the plane took off with the three of them and their four elk. About fifteen minutes into the flight, the engine started to sputter, and within seconds they were hurtling to the ground.
Wearily arising from the wreckage, Bubba looked at Jake and wheezed, "Do you have any idea where we are?"
Jake, quite pleased with himself, replied, "Yes! We're about a mile from where we crashed last year."
Received from ArcaMax Jokes.
(_:][:_)
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Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Column - -
http://www.madkane.com/humor_blog/
Limerick Rose
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman quite often arose
From a difficult yoga-like pose
And, groaning, would claim:
“That position might maim,
But while in it, I manage to doze.”
© Madeleine Begun Kane. All Rights Reserved.
http://www.madkane.com/
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Candy joke:
Q: what country did candy come from?
A: sweeten
Cooking joke:
Q: why are cooks so cruel?
A: because they beat the eggs and whip the cream.
Vegetable joke:
Q: how do you fix a broken pizza?
A: with tomato paste.
Chocolate joke:
Q: how can you keep from getting a sharp pain in your eye when you drink chocolate milk?
A: take the spoon out of the glass.
Dieting joke:
Q: what do seven day of dieting do?
A: they make one weak (week).
http://foodanddrinkhumor.freeservers.com/whats_new.html
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"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." __ Franklin D. Roosevelt
"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. _ _ George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" _ _ Queen E. Watson
“A political class of Republicans and Democrats that look after themselves, not the Nation. A media hostile to the very precepts of this nation. A generation of Americans who see morals as vices, and are ignorant of America's Actual History.”
"The things that will destroy America are prosperity-at-any-price, peace-at-any-price, safety-first instead of duty-first, the love of soft living, and the get-rich-quick theory of life." - - Theodore Roosevelt
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Emergency Phone Number 911
(Fire, Police, Ambulance, Sheriff, etc. )
Central Dispatch 234_5655
(Non _ Emergency Number)
Direct Numbers
Ambulance _ 234_7371 (24 Hour)
Jail _ 234_5331 (24 Hour)
Poison Control _ 800_222_1222 (24 Hour)
http://www. aapcc. org/
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Interested in getting in touch with the Banner_News through e_mail? editor@bannernews.net For the editor, news@bannernews.net For news and sports items, Coming Events, Diary, Church News, school and civic events. [http://www.bannernews.net/]
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"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." __ "Bug"
"I read the end of the book. We win!" __ "Bug"
"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." __ "Bug"
"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." _ _ "Bug"
"It's no big deal doing what God tells you to do. A big deal would be NOT doing what God tells you to do. Just ask Jonah." _ _ Paul Troquille
“Nam et ipsa scientia potestas est.” Knowledge is power. _ Francis Bacon
"The problem is here and now. The time for talk is past. The time for action is now."
Comments on the first Earth Day _ James F. McClellan via John "Fuzzy" Thurman
~~~~~
Hope you enjoy the newsletter.
Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" __"Bug"
God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
God is Good and Faithful CU 73 IC JFM CSP NREMT_I KC5HII
P. S. If you'd like to be added to the distribution, just drop us E_mail at kc5hii@suddenlink.net
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