Monday, November 18, 2013

Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Blizzard Conditions

Annette's Plants are settling in after coming indoors.

And Annette making her morning rounds, talking with her plant friends.

David preparing for another cooking road trip.

One of Annette's "kids".

These blooms came from David Wade Prison.

Annette "Pressing The Flesh" at the annual Hannah Pregnancy Resource Center Banquet. Again, she filled her table as well as half of the overflow table.

Annette preparing her booth for Harvest Festival.

Mrs. Mickie greeting Ethan, her first trick or treater of the evening.

The McClellan / Malone gang preparing for their annual Christmas Portrait. This year done by Stephen Burton.

One of Annette's Kitchen Still Life's.

A smile no Grandparent could resist.

As Annette said; "God Bless Him."

Moon Over Jefferson Street.

Sunset over Main Street.

The Old Haynesville Train Station

A great '57 T-Bird

Wilson Bearden is remodeling.

Annette's Front Porch Still Life.

Volume 15, Issue 46 Friday, November 15, 2013

Hello ALL,

There’ve been numerous “ups and downs” since our last issue on Friday, August 23. But, like He promised, we’ve come through them all.
It looked like we were going to be blessed with a fifth grandchild. Vanessa and Jimmy announced that she was pregnant and we all were excited. Vanessa and Jimmy got to see an ultra sound of the baby and started planning for the nursery and discussing what kind of crib and stroller were needed.

Then, she started having problems and ended up going to the Magnolia Regional Medical Center Emergency Room one afternoon. Jimmy was still at work in Louisiana so Annette and I met Vanessa and the boys at the E/R.

I took the boys to get some supper and then take Josiah to football practice while Annette stayed with Vanessa in the E/R. After a stop at Burger King to “fuel up” the boys, Ethan and I dropped off Josiah at the boys club and headed back to the house.

As we drove home, Ethan was pretty quiet and suddenly asked if his momma and the baby might die. I explained that being pregnant is more hazardous than not but most pregnant women and their baby's did just fine. I went on to say that I was sure his mom and little sister would be OK.

Ethan thought for a minute and then said; "That makes sense. If most women died when they got pregnant, there wouldn't be many people. I mean if Eve had died when she was pregnant, Adam would just be walking around with nothing to do."

He's a wise little man.

Vanessa was back to see her doctor on Friday and he told her to get lots of bed rest over the weekend and come back Monday. She was doing well and we were all very confident that everything was fine.

Then, Monday, the doc did a big battery of tests and told Vanessa and Jimmy that she had lost the baby. I was waiting at our house while Annette had gone to Taylor to pick the boys up at school. Vanessa called to tell me what the doctor had said and I told her to come on over to the house and they could meet the boys there.

I had just got off the phone with Vanessa when Annette called on the car speaker phone and asked how the doctor's appointment went. I hesitated and she said: "The boys want to know."

I thought back to when I was a young boy and my dad died. I had woken up to a house full of aunts and uncles and neighbors and both my parents were not there. I asked several folks what was going on but no one would answer me. Finally, my Uncle Paul Robertson squatted down and explained to me that my dad had a heart attack and passed away and my mom was "Making Arrangements...”

There was no way I was going to beat around the bush and refuse to answer Annette and those boys so I told them that Vanessa had lost the baby. The boys immediately began comforting Annette. When they arrived at our home, Annette came in to see Vanessa and Jimmy (who had just come from the Doctors office.) But the boys didn't come in.

I asked where the boys were and Annette replied; "They're telling Mr. Bob (our neighbor) about the loss of the baby. He was outside working in the yard and they knew he would want to know."

Vanessa and Jimmy are handling it pretty well. But it hurts. She and Annette have hugged and cried and we will all get through this and walk out into the sunshine together.

When he heard, David left work and came by to hug his sister and mother. Dusty also called after supper and loved on his Mamaw.

You may have seen this poem that Jimmy posted.

I'm struggling now
Underneath the weight
Of a love I cannot hold
A name without a face.
You've blessed me, Lord
With more gifts than I can count
How can I lay blame
When You keep one for Yourself?

Thus, a family survives and even thrives in spite of heartache. As for me, I have a strong woman, a faithful God and loving friends. How could everything not be good.
Ethan was “deep thinking” again today and told me; “Papaw, you have a lot of rules at your house.” “Really?” I replied. “Yeah, you have rules like: Wash your hands before and after you eat. No shoes on the couch. No fighting. No pops (so called “soft” drinks). No spinning in the rolling chairs. Almost no playing inside when it’s nice weather outside. No TV during meals (which have to be eaten at the table.) Almost no sweets. No eating in the bedroom or living room. No Rude Noises during family meals. No rude language (i.e. the other word for Flatulence, etc.). Put your stuff up. Clean up the table after you eat. Take out the trash when it’s full. This is a “No Whine” zone. … A whole lot of rules.”

Now that he mentions it, I guess we do have a lot of rules. :0)
Ethan and Josiah were riding to church with us one Sunday when Josiah spoke up and said; “You know Ethan always gets in trouble in Sunday School.” Annette turned to him and replied: “Shouldn’t we say positive things about our family as well as other people?” Josiah sighed and then said; “Well, I guess I’ve got nothing to say.”
Jimmy was playing with Ethan and little plastic soldiers. Ethan divided up the soldiers and gave Jimmy all the guys who were crawling, waving, holding metal detectors, and looking through binoculars. Then he took all the bazooka guys, the grenade throwing guys and the prone, sitting and standing guys with rifles.
It was looking grim for Jimmy’s army until he took a closer look at the binoculars. … wait, those weren't binoculars! They were laser devices. So Jimmy fried Ethan’s army.... :0)
How easy it is for a guy to get in trouble. ...

One afternoon, we were putting the patio back together after Annette power washed it that morning. The Patio really looks a lot better and all the dirt she washed into the grass should help it grow. Anyway … Annette suggested that I go bring the flags in while she finished up on the patio.

As I stepped out the front door, I noticed the long hose on the lawn sprinkler under the Crepe Myrtles. The hose supplying it is much too long and I’d been meaning to pull the excess back over to the patio and shorten it so it would be neater when we were watering (old retired folks have time for such falderal.)

At this point, let me explain that the front of the patio is a brick wall with only a 3” square drain hole facing the yard. That hole is where I run my water hose through when watering that side of the yard (old safety guys just can’t abide a water hose stretched across the sidewalk.)

Earlier in the day, I’d disconnected the end of the hose on the patio and connected it to the power washer Annette was using [Thanks to Clink and Gerry for loan of the machine. And thanks to Amanda Warren Newton and crew at Columbia County Ambulance Service for being ready to respond if needed.].

So, I gathered up the surplus hose attached to the lawn sprinkler and pulled it over to the hole in the wall where I began feeding it through onto the patio. Suddenly there was a scream from inside the patio.

Before I could even think of responding the scream stopped and Annette shouted; “James! Was that supposed to be funny?”

It would seem that the sudden appearance of a green, snake sized “thing” writhing through the hole in the patio wall had shocked Annette. … Those of you who know me, know that I love jokes, kidding and fun. But the best ones are probably the unintended ones like this one.

I developed a "Thang" on my head. It started out as a mosquito bite (I think) and then grew to sort of look like the mark on Russian Premier Gorbachev. We showed it to Dr. Murphy and he sent us to Dr. Jucas, the dermatologist.

Dr. Jucas did a biopsy and when we called back later in the week to get the results, he related that the biopsy was "weird." Said he'd never seen anything like the cells in it. He consulted with another Doctor and they decided to send the tissue to some forensic cell tissue specialist in Little Rock.

Imagine that. Something is weird about my body. Anyway, Dr. Jucas went on to say that it could be a skin thing or an eruption of something going on internally or it could be nothing. In any case, he didn't want to start removing stuff that he didn't know what was. :0)

As instructed, we called the doc back a week later and learned that the lab in Little Rock was still "studying" (playing with) my tissue. The nurse told me they would call when the results were back. Glad I'm entertaining them.

Finally, Dr. Jukas's office called and the THANG is a Cutaneous Lymphoid Hyperplasia (a collection of benign cutaneous lymphocytes, macrophages, and dendritic cells in the skin.). Seems that this rare reaction can be caused by skin damage including Insect bites, stings or Infections.

Suggested treatments include; Superpotent topical steroids, corticosteroid injections, Cryotherapy, Photodynamic therapy with delta ALA, Topical tacrolimus, Hydroxychloroquine, Surgical excision, or Radiotherapy. Dr. Jucas went with the Superpotent topical steroids.

Oh yeah, he also told me to cover the “Thang” with saran wrap after I applied the steroid. This was to enhance absorption into the tissue. You haven’t lived till you’ve walked around Wally World with saran wrap stuck to your head.

In only about three weeks, the “Thang” was gone (except for the little crater in the top of my head.)

I'm really going to miss folks pretending not to be looking at my head or asking me if I knew I had saran wrap on my head (I usually replied either; “Really?” or “Yes … I’m saving it to wrap my sandwich with this evening.” :0)
There is no joy in Mudville tonight ... Save-A-Lot grocery no longer carries Zwolle Tamales. At least they haven't had any the last few times I've been in. Brookshire's has had them occasionally but I haven't seen any there for years. Wally world has never had them and I do love me some Zwolle Tamales. The recipe for the Original Zwolle Tamale is from an old Indian recipe consisting mainly of ground corn, pork & a variety of spices wrapped in corn shucks.
They come fully cooked, simply heat & serve! I got hooked on Tamales like this back when the Chatterbox was getting them from a lady in El Dorado. The closest thing we can get now is in Antiquas restaurant here. There’s are the best I’ve had in any restaurant but they’re still not the actual Zwolle Tamales which I prefer steamed with no other accompaniment except fresh tostadas.

They say misery loves company and I'm not alone in craving Zwolle Tamales. There are multitudes of folks on the web bemoaning the loss of Zwolle Tamales from their local grocery shelves.

Oh well, I'm 62 and should be used to an occasional disappointment.

P.S. You can order Zwolle Tamales from the Louisiana Crawfish company but they want $10 a dozen and that's a little steep for me.
After 09/11 the New York Fire Department was in immediate need of equipment to replace trucks lost in the World Trade Center Collapse. The Village of Oak Brook, IL was one of many departments that stepped up and loaned NYFD one of their trucks.

After NYFD received replacement trucks, they returned the equipment they had been loaned.

Then, using Federal Grants, Oak Brook joined Fire Departments across the nation and also began replacing older equipment with new and one of the older trucks they took out of service was #911, the truck that had served in New York after 9/11.

At the same time, David Pry, the Fire Chief of our Albemarle Production Plant in Magnolia obtained funds to purchase a fire truck. As we looked for a vehicle we could afford, we saw that Oak Brook had an older truck for sale. Mechanic Kevin Hollis was dispatched to IL and reported back that the truck was in excellent shape and for sale at a very reasonable price.

That's how Albemarle Magnolia ended up with a fire truck that had served NYFD after 9/11.
I will never forget the first patient to "die on me." We were dispatched in the middle of the night to a two vehicle MVA north of town, single occupants in both. Head on collision.

My partners and I (in the two responding ambulances) transported both. The patient I was tending was BAD ... I didn't expect him to make the hospital ... but he did. After we turned him over to the doc in ER1, we went to help in ER 2 with the "less seriously injured" pt.

Not much real damage apparent and he was talking to us. Then ... suddenly his vitals started “going south”. We tried putting MAST on him to stabilize BP. Didn't help. Tried everything the doctors, nurses and EMTs (no Paramedics in our area at that time) knew to do. ...

He expired.

I was in shock. He had presented as stable. Why had he passed away? The doctors told me that the patient had serious internal injuries and (in those days) there was nothing we could have done.

I helped the nurses prepare him for the coroner. We treated this gentleman with the greatest respect and care.

After the coroner left with the body, I stepped out on the ramp and David Lewis, our service owner, came over and talked with me. At that time, I thought I was o.k., the sun was coming up and I headed back home. Another crew would take the day shift on the unit.

I walked in the house and laid down to get a little rest before the family got to stirring.

When I woke up, everything felt out of place. I couldn't figure out what was wrong and then it hit me. That patient died and we weren’t able to save him. I just couldn't come to grips with it.

It was Saturday morning, a beautiful fall day but that fellow would never see it and I didn’t feel so spiffy myself. Then I remembered a friend (a former EMT) was down the street roofing a house. I walked down there and climbed up on the roof with him. Started telling him what happened. We talked for an hour or two while he worked.

It was enough. I was o.k. again. Thank God for Terry Benefield being there that day.

The term Ambulance Drivers really originated a century or so ago when that’s just what they did. Throw bodies in and drive to the hospital or aid station.

Fire fighters never were just drivers. They were fighting fires before they had a truck.

After the feds upgraded the EMS system and EMTs, Paramedics, etc. came on the scene it was hard to get the general public to see the difference. The problem with the name is the indication that our medical personnel are just transporting the victim to a place they can be cared for.

Modern EMS, especially like CCAS here (as well as our own Albemarle medical responders) provides definitive care that has time and again meant the difference between life and death and often between a quick recovery or a long hospital stay.

It’s not an easy profession (physically nor mentally) but it is a very personally rewarding profession.
A while back, I listed to a discussion of the techniques and planning that went into producing a famous photo. The topic reminded me of an interview I saw on PBS with Howard Hawks, the Director of the John Wayne movie "Hatari!" Hatari was shot in and around Arusha, Tanzania in 1962.

A group of Japanese Cinematographers asked Mr. Hawks how he composed the opening scene where John Wayne emerges from the African Plain to track a large Rhinoceros. He looked at them quizzically and they explained; "How did you capture the essence of Man's Domination of the Earth and its Animals in that scene?"

Mr. Hawks paused for a second or two and then replied; "Well ... It just looked good to me."

A friend recently complained about people who insist on everyone saying “Merry Christmas” instead of “Happy Holidays” and bully others with their “Hyper” Christianity. I replied: We could go back and forth all day but the fact is that God doesn't force the Gospel on us and it doesn't work for us to try to force it on others. These "Gospel Bullies" you describe are NOT sharing the Good News that Christ delivered to us.

With that said, I'm one of those who complain about taking "Christ out of Christmas." I don't mind folks who don't recognize my faith or prefer to not acknowledge the religious side of the holiday that’s their choice. What I mind is folks who say that my observance "offends" them. Gee Whiz. Give Me A Break.

And I also agree that government should stay way way out of the whole faith/religion/church issue. But I still get irritated at folks who comb through government property searching for any "religious" item that they can demand or file suit to get removed, no matter that it was part of the original design or that it's been there for decades or longer. This effort to sterilize any religious expression out of our society is misguided at best.

AS for what being cheap or mean says about church goers? It says that those folks haven't let God transform them. We are supposed to worry about the beam in our eye and not the splinter in someone else’s but it's hard not to assume that folks who stiff wait staff don't know my Jesus (Annette’s mom and mine made their living waiting tables and running a cafe.)

Bottom Line ... We all need to assess our own spiritual condition (if we have one.) Annette and I sometimes counsel young married couples and our main theme is for them to read the sections of Ephesians written for them. Not the sections written for their spouse. Read the sections written to them.

But most folks don't want to hear what God is saying to them. Most folks want to tell other people what they are doing wrong.

Now, to finish up with some quotes from folks I respect.

"It's no big deal doing what God tells you to do. A big deal would be NOT doing what God tells you to do. Just ask Jonah." _ _ Paul Troquille (Dear Friend and Missionary to Africa.)

"God uses men who are weak and feeble enough to lean on him." — Hudson Taylor, missionary to China

"Many Christians Daily seek to disprove the Gospel through their actions." -- I Can't Remember Who

Preach the Gospel at all times and when necessary use words. - - Francis of Assisi
Hopefully, this will be my last post on the Government Shutdown / Debt Limit debacle. But I feel compelled to answer those who think it’s a good thing to just shutdown the Federal Bureaucracy for a few days or weeks, or months.

I understand the reasoning. I too feel that the Federal Government is too deeply involved in too many of our day to day activities. In a previous life I saw the depth of control that the federal folks exert over our lives. It is difficult to do anything without involving lawyers and reams of paper. And the problem is not really the federal employees; it’s the convoluted laws that congress continues to pass to entangle our lives.

But as an "Intermittent" Federal Employee of the Department of Health and Human Services, I can assure you that just ordering the government to stop spending money for a day or a week or a month doesn’t make those laws go away. They’re still there, only now, without the authority to spend money on workers and supplies and equipment and such, those laws can prevent any action to improve a business or respond to an emergency or take care of a soldier’s family.

Think of it like a brain tumor. The Federal Bureaucracy is buried in our lives like the tumor is deep in a brain. The Bureaucracy has control of many many things that impact us each day, like the tumor has tendrils that reach far into the tissue.

If you just “turn off” the Bureaucracy, it’s like just ripping out the tumor; the results are usually very detrimental to the patient. Instead, you need to carefully analyze the tumors location and how it is attached and make plans to remove it.

We need to reduce the size and impact of the Federal Bureaucracy the same way. Congress needs to carefully analyze the massive mountain of laws they have enacted and selectively reduce the size of that mountain. It won’t be easy but it needs to be done. Otherwise, we’ll continue to see the hard working rank and file American’s take it on the chin while those in Washington D.C. run this country like elementary students who’ve found a huge bag of money that they can spend any way they want to.
The image is enough to bring a tear to even the most hardened of hearts – a little kid wearing a bear costume standing at the locked gates of the National Zoo, on the outside looking in.

Read more here:
O.K. peeps. I need a little support here. … Whose fault is it that I’m sick to my stomach?

Is it;

A. Me? The guy who was minding his own business reading the new Faye Kellerman novel; “The Beast” while tending to the bread he was baking.
B. The Amazingly Incredible Wife of My Youth? Who conspired to cook beef cutlets, rice, gravy and hot biscuits for lunch. Who then ate her normal little teeny tiny portion and left all that meat, gravy, rice and biscuits sitting on the table just by my elbow while she moved into the living room to work on her puzzle.

What did she expect to happen? Was I supposed to just finish what she’d put on my plate and store the rest of that scrumptious food for another Meal? I mean, it was just staring at me, mocking me, daring me to take another serving.

Am I made of stone? Nay Nay. Now I can assure you that I’m made of beef cutlets, rice, gravy and hot biscuits.

And to add insult to injury, she had the temerity to ask me what happened to all the food left on the table. As if she didn’t know what she was doing! HA!

What say y’all? :0)
Drive-through ATM machines Procedures

1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.
FEMALE PROCEDURE: (What is really funny is that most of this part is the truth!!!!)
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of check book.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Re-dial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.
Car Talk - - Jaguar is contemplating a SUV... Genius! We've always thought the perfect Jag would be one that could tow itself. When I worked for HalMar Studios in Dallas, the owner, Wally had purchased his lifelong dream, a Jaguar. In the first six months he had it, it was in the repair shop about ¾ of the time. That was enough, he sold it and bought a VW Beetle. For the rest of the time I worked there, I don’t ever remember that Beetle being in the repair shop.
SAU (Southern Arkansas University) broke three enrollment records this fall. SAU had an overall record enrolment of 3,404 students. The fall freshman class totaled 663, which was also a record and residence hall enrolment hit an all-time high of 1,452.
The school’s first term began on January 11, 1911, with seventy-five students and five teachers.
I really encourage you to watch the NBC evening news with Brian Williams. Not necessarily for the news, though Annette and I do enjoy most of the reporting. But for the “Feel Good” segment at the end of the program. They are almost always worth watching. If you can’t stand NBC news, record the program and just watch the last segment.
When I start to expound, things tend to go on for a while so I’ve decided to try a “tweet” sized intro to my rants. Here’s the first.
People, BO is president. Take a deep breath and remember God is still in charge. We don’t have to panic nor do we have to stoop to personal attacks on folks who disagree with us.

Besides ObamACare, Benghazi, the IRS targeting Conservative Christian Organizations, Increased Drone Assassinations, NSA spying on everyone on the planet and the Justice Department giving guns to drug runners’ fiascos, the biggest complaint I hear is that our President is working to get the vast majority of citizens “On The Dole.”

Concerning helping folks who have less than us … James 1:27 - - Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress ...

The Amazingly Incredible Wife Of My Youth was our church "Care Pastor" until her retirement (well actually she still hasn't really retired, just quit going to the office as she's no longer physically able.) Her job was to ensure those in need were properly cared for as well looking out for the sick and bereaved. She was a nightmare for local business people, as she was always convincing them that they didn't really need to sell that used car, washing machine, stove, etc. instead, they could donate it to a family in need. :0)

She also still leads our prison ministry team as they preach the Gospel monthly at the David Wade Prison just across the Louisiana state line from us. Her meetings have the largest attendance of any at the prison. This is probably due to her teams "high energy" presentation as well as their unvarnished and readily apparent care for the inmates.

Of course, she's just my favorite example of many many I know who are serving the body of Christ as well as their Lord. And her activities also illustrate another point about caring for folks. In the prison, you can't just give inmates stuff. "Gifts" are strictly regulated (i.e. it's forbidden to give money.) Annette's ministry to these fellows has to be largely sharing God's Word and praying faithfully with them and for them.

Like the inmates, just giving people stuff often doesn't help them much. Now if a family’s home just burnt down, or some natural disaster struck, by all means let’s get together and see if we can replace their lost clothing, furniture, etc. etc.

But we've noticed over the years that many folks who were "down and out" didn't really benefit from the effort we put out for them. They had become trapped by "free" stuff and were having problems getting back on their feet. Helping them get a job (or a way to get to work) has proven to be a much better investment than just handouts.

Annette also feels it's irresponsible to willy nilly give without knowing what you are giving to. There is a finite pile of money to use and it's a super bad idea to waste it on folks who really don't need it.

And here’s the catch with government “entitlement” programs. Most of them are not designed to get the recipient back up on their feet. For instance, I just saw on the news where a homeless man had applied to get rent assistance so he could get out of a shelter. However he was denied assistance when it was learned that he’d found $850 and turned it into the police. No, that act didn’t disqualify him. He was disqualified when the police couldn’t find the owner of the money and gave it back to him. Since he had received $850 (an amount that wouldn’t even pay a month’s rent in his home town), the Federal program was not available to him.

So here we have a guy who wants to get back in the work force, get his own place, some clothes, a can of beans, etc. But unless he’s willing to be totally dependent on the Government, they can’t help him.

We’ve seen this over and over, folks who want to get off “The Dole” can’t do it in one step but any slight improvement in their circumstances causes them to drop down to an even lower standard of living because they lose the aid they were getting.

What’s the solution? I believe it’s to push the responsibility for helping folks down to the local folks in the area and cut their tax burden a commensurate amount so they can take care of the poor, needy, etc. Sure, they may make some mistakes. But believe you me … it’s much easier to correct a small local mistake than it is to correct a HUGE federal mistake (ObamACare anyone?)
By the way, you may be wondering … have we quit giving to people (or ministries we trust)? No. We still give. Even blindly sometimes. But we always also invite folks to hear the Gospel and/or visit our fellowship. We do this with the knowledge that they will be blessed by the Christian family and the Word of God.

Annette is also fond of randomly buying lunch or groceries or fuel for strangers. This is a way of preaching the Gospel without words. And, if we can't give them anything, we just share the Gospel and don't feel bad about it. Our giving and our sharing the Word is done to please God, not man.
The headline read; "EBT (Food Stamp) Glitch packs two Louisiana Wal-Mart stores." The story goes on to tell how a Xerox computer glitch resulted in EBT cards reading "NO LIMIT" at Wal-Mart stores in Springhill and Mansfield, Louisiana Saturday morning.
Word spread quickly and within a half hour, both stores were packed with folks stuffing carts with food to be charged against their now unlimited food stamp accounts. Before the glitch was corrected the shelves in the stores were emptied.
When the glitch was corrected and true account levels were restored, the “shoppers,” who had not yet checked out, just left their loaded carts in the store aisles and went home.
Does it bother anyone that a huge group of folks decided it was o.k. to take all they could, even though they knew they didn’t really have the right to do so? Whatever happened to honesty?
When we were in elementary school in Taylor, Mrs. Gordon taught us about Honest Abe. He was called Honest Abe because of several incidents in his life where he went above and beyond to maintain his reputation for honesty. My favorite is the story of Abraham Lincoln who, when working as a clerk in a store in New Salem, accidentally took 6 1/4 cents too much from a customer. That night when the store closed, he walked three miles to return the woman's money.
We don’t know how many EBT users chose to not rush to Wal-Mart Saturday and act like Wall Street Bankers, grabbing all the “ill gotten” gains they could. But I’m sure some, maybe even a majority, chose to be honest.
Too bad we’ll only hear about the thieves that raided those stores Saturday.
As I’ve said before, what gets lost in the “entitlement” discussions is, like I said before, these programs are not only addictive, they are very difficult to escape from. In fact, these programs are designed to keep the “client” on the program roll.

I have a friend who is proud to have “escaped” from a life of welfare in New York City. He’ll tell you it wasn’t just a matter of getting a job and moving to a better neighborhood. It was a difficult process but he succeeded and is glad he did. Unfortunately his parents and siblings are still on welfare in that city.

You see, the programs are structured to keep you there just like working for the company store in years past. We’ve seen employees refuse raises because it would result in having their welfare removed. So they hang there, unable to make enough to live without welfare and unwilling to do anything that would result in loss of their “security blanket.”
We don’t know how many EBT users chose to not rush to Wal-Mart Saturday and act like Wall Street Bankers, grabbing all the “ill gotten” gains they could. But I’m sure some, maybe even a majority, chose to be honest.

Would that our congress could look honestly at these programs and work to reform them and free these families from government slavery.
Here are the basics of ObamACare

The majority of Americans felt that everyone should have medical insurance. And, due to the Medicare Law and the way it basically changed how healthcare was distributed and paid for, you just about have to have insurance of some type.

In addition, uninsured patients have been draining to hospitals small and large (when a patient can’t pay, the hospital is required to provide a minimum level of care and they usually don’t get reimbursed for that.)

Sadly to say, for the most part, the Republican party has had its head in the sand to this problem. Hillary’s health care initiative failed due to inexperience on the part of the new Administration. But BO had no such problem. His administration and the Democratic control of congress ensured that comprehensive health care was going to be implemented.

In response to that, the Republicans offered NO alternative, thus ensuring the enactment of ObamACare.

Of course, the country can’t afford to provide healthcare for everyone. So ObamACare is really probably the largest tax increase in US history. In an attempt to pay for this program, almost every form of medical care will be taxed (the infamous “Special Medical Device” tax is just the tip of the iceberg.) Additionally, young, healthy folks have to be forced into the system so their premiums can pay for the expensive care for older Americans.

As far as “improving efficiency” of the system, everything I’ve seen to date indicates that the new law just reduces how much they pay for services. In fact, many of the new pay schedules are lower than the actual cost to the doctor or hospital. How long do you think that can work?

Going back to the original concept … all Americans having access to health care insurance … This could have been done using the Swiss model: A. Requiring all citizens to have medical insurance. And B. Supplementing premiums for those whose income is too low to afford the insurance.

It would have been expensive, but not near as expensive as ObamACare.

I’ll finish with words of wisdom from a Doctor whom I highly respect; “There are two myths associated with the healthcare debate in the US. The first myth is that Canada and Briton have poor health care systems. The second myth is that ObamACare is like the Canadian and British systems.”
FYI - - The first experimental use of hydraulic fracturing was in 1947, and the first commercially successful applications were in 1949. As of 2010, it was estimated that 60% of all new oil and gas wells worldwide were being hydraulically fractured. As of 2012, 2.5 million hydraulic fracturing jobs have been performed on oil and gas wells worldwide, more than one million of them in the United States.
FYI - - Homeland Security News Wire []

Infrastructure - - A state of disrepair: Thousands of U.S. aging bridges risk collapse

Of the 607,380 bridges listed in the recent U.S. National Bridge Inventory, 65,605 bridges are classified as "structurally deficient" and 20,808 as "fracture critical," with 7,795 of those bridges designated as both structurally deficient and fracture critical. Experts say this indicates significant disrepair and a risk of collapse. These 7,795 structurally deficient, fracture critical bridges carry more than twenty-nine million drivers a day.
Read more
John Britton, Chi Alpha Missionary to Oklahoma State University - The best line after Chi Alpha last night to was when one of our Chinese guests said that the music in our service made her feel the power of our belief. That's what I call experience. Later 4 of these students downloaded the Bible so they could read it.
John, Teresa, Micah, and Eli Britton
P.O. Box 461
Stillwater, OK 74076
U.S.M. #2660124
Give online:
The “Happiest Nations” on the globe: Denmark was voted #1 for happiest nations. Poor USA was #17

Twenty Happiest Nations - Denmark, Norway, Switzerland, Netherlands, Sweden, Canada, Finland, Austria, Iceland, Australia, Israel, Costa Rica, New Zealand, UAE, Panama, Mexico, US, Ireland, Luxembourg, Venezuela.

Twenty Least Happy - Sri Lanka, Gabon, Malawi, Cambodia, Chad, Yemen, Afghanistan, Bulgariea, Botswana, Madagascar, Senegal, Syrie, Comoros, Guinea Tanzania, Rwanda, Brundi, Central African Republic, Benin, Togo.
Twenty Lowest Suicide Rates - Nepal, Haiti, Antigua, St. Kitts, Grenada, Egypt, Syria, Jamaica, Maldives, Azerbaijan, Sao Tome, Peru, Pakistan, Jordan, Bahamas, Kuwait, Armenia, Dominican Republic, St. Lucia, Tajikistan.

Twenty Highest Suicide Rates - Greenland, South Korea, Lithuania, Guyana, Kazakhstan, Belarus, China, Solvenia, Hungary, Japan, Sri Lanka, Ukraine, Russia, Croatia, Latvia, Moldova, Servia, Belgium, Finland, Bhutan.
The Mission Church has been in their new building (across Main Street from Fred’s) for over a year. Wow! It's been a great year.
~ Messages in tongues down among Pentecostals - SARAH PARVINI -

Virgin Galactic's (Burt Rutan and Sir Richard Branson) SpaceShipTwo's 2nd rocket-powered
private spaceship flew higher and faster than it ever had before on Thursday (Sept. 5), giving company official’s confidence that the vehicle is on track to start carrying passengers on suborbital jaunts next year.
In its second-ever rocket-powered test flight, which took off Thursday morning from the Mojave Air and Space Port in California, Virgin Galactic's SpaceShipTwo reached a maximum altitude of 65,000 feet (19,800 meters) and a top speed of Mach 1.6, or 1.6 times the speed of sound (which is about 761 mph, or 1,225 km/h, at sea level).
The six-passenger space plane got up to 56,000 feet (17,000 m) and Mach 1.2 during its only previous powered flight, which occurred on April 29.
SpaceShipTwo's engine burned for 16 seconds during that first test, compared to 20 seconds on Thursday,
Virgin Galactic officials said.
50 Years of the Civil-Rights Movement—in 10 Charts by Brandy Zadrozny Aug 28, 2013 4:45 AM EDT

In the half century since ‘I Have a Dream,’ African Americans have made some great strides in education, political representation, and voter turnout. In other areas, it’s like nothing has changed. See the data.
Are Science Fridays doomed? NPR recently announced that in an effort to decrease staff by ten percent, the company is offering buyouts. The scheme aims to eliminate the radio outlet's $6.1 million deficit. ~~~~~
Naegleria fowleri /n?'gl??ri?/ (also known as the "brain-eating amoeba") is a free-living excavate form of protist typically found in warm bodies of fresh water, such as ponds, lakes, rivers, and hot springs.
It is also found in soil, near warm-water discharges of industrial plants, and unchlorinated or poorly chlorinated swimming pools in an amoeboid or temporary flagellate stage. There is no evidence of this organism living in salt water.

The case fatality rate is estimated at over 99%. No effective treatment for PAM has been found

No data exist to accurately estimate the true risk of PAM. However, the recreational risk of Naegleria fowleri infection is very low. There have been 31 reported infections in the U.S. in the 10 years from 2003 to 2012, despite hundreds of millions of recreational water exposures each year 10. By comparison, ... there were more than 39,000 drowning deaths.
EarthSky News - November 16 - Full Moon, Leonid Meteors, Comet ISON

Full moon, Leonid meteors, Comet ISON on November 16-17
The full moon coincides with Leonids' peak. Meanwhile, Comet ISON, only 12 days from its encounter with the sun, is visible with binoculars.

Everything you need to know: Leonid meteor shower
The 2013 Leonid meteor shower is peaking now, as our world moves through space, crossing the orbital path of Comet Tempel-Tuttle, the parent comet of the Leonid meteor shower.
How do we balance needs of energy, water, and climate?

A new MIT study underscores the need to examine trade-offs before choosing energy technologies.

In deciding how best to meet the world’s growing needs for energy, the answers depend crucially on how the question is framed. Looking for the most cost-effective path provides one set of answers; including the need to curtail greenhouse-gas emissions gives a different picture. Adding the need to address looming shortages of fresh water, it turns out, leads to a very different set of choices. []
AskBob - - Bob Rankin - -

SECURITY TIP: Preview Shortened URLs

URL-shortening services like TinyURL and Bitly are handy for a variety of reasons, but shortened URLs also represent a ubiquitous and very dangerous security vulnerability. You must use your head and technology to avoid becoming a victim of malware, phishers, and hackers when clicking on shortened URLs. Here's what you need to know...
Can VoIP Service Replace Your Landline?

A reader asks: 'I have a landline and a cell phone, so I'm thinking of dropping the landline phone in favor of VoIP phone service, to save some money. What is your opinion of VoIP, and what are the pros and cons of using it to replace a traditional landline? '
Ten Tips for Online Holiday Shoppers

Holiday decorations appeared in stores almost two months ago, but there's still plenty of time to find great deals. Shopping online for the holidays is easy and convenient, but when you use the right tools, you can also save a lot of cash. Here are some money-saving tips for the smart online holiday shopper...
ACC SmartBrief - - U.S. consumers recycled 6.2% more plastic bottles in 2012 than in previous year
Plastic bottles returned by U.S. consumers for recycling jumped 161 million pounds last year, about a half a pound increase per American, according to the latest statistics from the American Chemistry Council and the Association of Postconsumer Plastic Recyclers. Recycling of high-density polyethylene bottles increased by 45.3 million pounds, the groups said. "In the United States, we have the capacity to recycle more used plastics than we are currently collecting, and innovative manufacturers are using these materials in new and exciting ways. Each of us can help by doing our part to get more used plastics into a recycling bin," said Steve Russell, ACC vice president for plastics. (11/7)
U.S. carbon dioxide emissions dropped by 3.8 percent last year, falling to the lowest level in close to 20 years, the Department of Energy said. Part of the decline is attributed to increased natural gas production, according to this article. "Innovations in hydraulic fracturing and horizontal drilling have helped make the U.S. the biggest developer of natural gas in the world, and these technologies are a great example of how we can grow the economy, create jobs and clean the air," said Howard Feldman of the American Petroleum Institute.
dLife Foodstuff - - 6 Great Recipes for Low Carb Comfort Food That Cooks Itself

There's something almost magical about loading up a slow cooker, walking away, and coming back hours later to a perfectly cooked, piping hot meal. This collection of delicious, low carb main dishes and sides should keep you slow cooking all winter.
Without quick and appropriate treatment, blood sugar levels that are too high or too low can quickly turn into a diabetic emergency. Think you know the difference between low and high blood sugar episodes? Want to learn about safe blood sugar levels to increase your d-IQ? Take this quiz and test your knowledge of highs and lows now!

If you live with diabetes, you probably watch your diet and nutrition for overall health, but have you considered your oral health?

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, people with diabetes are 2X more likely to develop gum disease. Diabetes makes the body more susceptible to bacterial infections and less able to fight germs that invade the gums.

Good news. Colgate Total® toothpaste can help improve your gum health in as little as 4 weeks* and is approved by the FDA to help prevent gingivitis**, the most common form of gum disease. We’ve assembled a group of diabetes lifestyle and oral health experts and asked them to provide some useful tips about the issue.
Featured Recipes - - 2 Ingredient Lemon Bars Recipe
1 box of angel food cake
1 can of lemon pie filling

1. Combine angel food cake and lemon pie filling, carefully mix together, the angel food cake mix is super light and will fly everywhere
2. Pour into a 9×13 pan
3. Bake for 20 minutes at 350 degrees
4. Top with powdered sugar as they are cooling

Thanks to "Tammilee Tips"
Back To Pecan Squares - - Recipe courtesy The Barefoot Contessa Cookbook, 1999, All Rights Reserved

Prep Time: 10 min
Cook Time: 45 min
Serves: 20 large squares

We make these all year long and when we want to go "over the top" we dip half of each square in warm chocolate.



1 1/4 pounds unsalted butter, room temperature
3/4 cup granulated sugar
3 extra-large eggs
3/4 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
4 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt


1 pound unsalted butter
1 cup good honey
3 cups light brown sugar, packed
1 teaspoon grated lemon zest
1 teaspoon grated orange zest
1/4 cup heavy cream
2 pounds pecans, coarsely chopped

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
For the crust, beat the butter and granulated sugar in the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with a paddle attachment, until light, approximately 3 minutes.
Add the eggs and the vanilla and mix well. Sift together the flour, baking powder, and salt.
Mix the dry ingredients into the batter with the mixer on low speed until just combined.
Press the dough evenly into an ungreased 18 by 12 by 1-inch baking sheet, making an edge around the outside. It will be very sticky; sprinkle the dough and your hands lightly with flour.
Bake for 15 minutes, until the crust is set but not browned. Allow to cool.
For the topping, combine the butter, honey, brown sugar, and zests in a large, heavy-bottomed saucepan.
Cook over low heat until the butter is melted, using a wooden spoon to stir.
Raise the heat and boil for 3 minutes.
Remove from the heat. Stir in the heavy cream and pecans.
Pour over the crust, trying not to get the filling between the crust and the pan.
Bake for 25 to 30 minutes, until the filling is set.
Remove from the oven and allow to cool. Wrap in plastic wrap and refrigerate until cold. Cut into bars and serve.
Copyright 2013 Television Food Network G.P. All Rights Reserved:,1946,FOOD_9936_34777_RECIPE-PRINT-FULL-PAGE-FORMATTER,00.html?oc=linkback
The Barefoot Contessa Cookbook, 1999, All Rights Reserved
Crockpot Cabbage Rolls

The nice thing about rolling cabbage rolls, is there is no right or wrong. I like to cut the larger leaves in two and make two smaller cabbage rolls. I also use almost every usable leaf of cabbage. Any leftovers freeze well, or you can make them ahead of time and then cook when you want.
Crock-Pot Freezer Meal: You can freeze the cabbage rolls uncooked ahead of time. Do not steam the leaves prior to doing this.


1 Medium Head of Fresh Cabbage
1 Large Onion, diced
2 lbs of Ground Beef
1 Cup Cooked White Rice
3 Eggs
1 Teaspoon Salt
1 Teaspoon Ground Pepper
1 Can Tomato Soup
1 11.5oz Can V8
2 Tablespoons Worcestershire Sauce


On the stove top, cook rice and set aside.
Remove the stem from the cabbage and peel each individual leaf back.
Steam cabbage leaves for 60 seconds and then place in a bowl of ice cold water. Set aside.
In a pan, cook onions until onions are clear in color.
In a large bowl, add ground beef, eggs, salt, pepper, cooked onions and rice.
Mix well.
Taking one cabbage leaf at a time, add a spoon or more of the meat mixture. Using your hand, gather the meat on one end of the cabbage leaf and then roll the leaf.
Layer the cabbage rolls into the bottom of a crock-pot. Layering as you add until all the meat mixture is used.
In a bowl, mix the tomato soup, Worcestershire and V8 juice.
Pour the mixture on top of the cabbage rolls.
Cook on LOW for 4 hours.

~~~~~ - - I have for you today a heroine dog, and an honored war hero.



Dog Rescues Abandoned Baby #See Precious Baby Girl

Hundreds of Strangers Honor Lonely WWII Vet @His Funeral #How Word Spread

Daryn's Upbeat Stories!

Copyright © *|2013* *|Journeyist, Inc.|*, All rights reserved.
Rasmussen Reports - -

55% Favor Repeal of Obamacare
Most voters view the new national health care law as bad for the country and want to repeal it. A new Rasmussen Reports national telephone survey finds that just 35% of Likely U.S. Voters now believe the trouble-plagued health care law is good for America.
56% Oppose Use of Standardized Tests as Chief Measure of School Performance
57% Think Private Business Best Bet for Alternative Energy
Most Americans continue to think it's more important to develop new sources of energy than to conserve what we've got. They also remain more confident that the private sector, not the federal government, will be the chief force behind new energy development.
62% Consider Clinton Better President Than Obama
Voters still strongly believe Bill Clinton was a better president than Barack Obama. The latest Rasmussen Reports national telephone survey finds that 62% of Likely U.S. Voters think Clinton was a better president. Just 20% believe Obama is doing a better job than Clinton did when he was president from 1993 to 2001.
65% Oppose Use of Drones for U.S. Police Work
Voters show even stronger support for increasing the use of unmanned drone aircraft to kill terrorists overseas, even though most believe the drone attacks are killing more innocents than are reported. But voters strongly oppose police use of such drones in the skies over this country.
75% Give Congress Poor Rating
The news goes from bad to worse for Congress, as voters offer their sharpest criticism of the legislature to date.
What They Told Us: Reviewing Last Week’s Key Polls in Politics

Obamacare hasn’t been good for the political health of President Obama and his party this past week.

Just 35% of Likely U.S. Voters now believe the new national health care law is good for America, and 55% favor repealing it.

Fifty-four percent (54%) oppose the law’s individual mandate which requires every American to have health insurance by January 1 or else face financial penalties. Just 34% support it.
To find out more about Scott Rasmussen, and read features by other Creators writers and cartoonists, visit
See Other Political Commentaries.
See Other Commentaries by Scott Rasmussen.
The latest from Michael Yon, the foremost “milnews” blogger on the web.

Don't miss this one. I have been spending long days with Syrian rebels and came across this story. I helped with some editing yet left it his story.

If you value this work, please support my mission.,117/view,donation/

Very Respectfully,
Michael Yon
Your Writer,

Please remember that this website accepts no advertisement and is dependent on your support.

PS Please sign up for my updates at "Michael_Yon" [] (not Michael Yon).
If you would like to encourage US Troops overseas, but are not sure just how to begin, visit for ideas.
5 Things New Veterans Expect From All Political Candidates

1. Defend the New GI Bill
2. Employ the New Greatest Generation
3. Prevent suicide among troops and veterans
4. Build a truly 21st Century VA
5. Improve Care for Female Veterans
Please remember ... America is not at war. The U.S. Military is at war. America is at the MALL.
From Thomas S. Ellsworth

This wasn't sent to me by another person or list. It's just a few thoughts about a holiday which is special to me. It's one of those few times when I share something serious instead of humorous. -Tom


GCF: Veteran's Day 2013 (Serious, not humor)

In the United States, the Veteran's Day holiday is celebrated Monday, November 11th (this is also Remembrance Day in Canada). In the early 1970's, Veteran's Day became a "movable" holiday -- the fourth Monday of October. In 1978, at the urging of veteran's groups who realized the sanctity of the date, Congress returned Veteran's Day to November 11th (if on a weekend, it moves to the closest Friday or Monday). Please remember that this day is not to honor war, but rather to honor the sacrifice made by others for our freedom.

What we call Veteran's Day is the anniversary of the signing of the Armistice in the Forest of Campiegne by the Allies and the Germans in 1918 (the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month). This signified the end of World War I and was originally known as Armistice Day. President Woodrow Wilson signed the Congressional Resolution on Nov. 11, 1919, the first Armistice Day.

However, after World War II, the day began to lose meaning and since there were many other veterans to consider, the decision was made to change November 11th to honor all those who fought in American wars. The United States Congress passed an act to change the name to Veteran's Day and in 1954 President Dwight Eisenhower signed the act.

With that in mind, I would like to say "thank you" to all the men and women with whom I served, and to especially remember those who aren't with us anymore. As a former Hospital Corpsman, I wish a heartfelt "Semper Fi" to all my Marine friends.

- Tom Ellsworth
(HM2 USN 1965-69)

Note: In previous years, my Veteran's Day piece has dealt with various topics.

In 2004 it was the Tomb of the Unknowns at Arlington National Cemetery. That can be found in the GCF Archives at this address:

In 2005 it dealt with a piece called "What is a Veteran?" and was attributed to a Marine Corps Chaplain (Reverend Denis O'Brien). That can be found in the GCF Archives at this address:

In 2006 it was simply a story about "duty" that was sent to me. I read it and couldn't help but be moved by its words. That can be found in the GCF Archives at this address:

In 2007 it was a story about "military spouses" ... we sometimes forget that the sacrifice of the family left behind is just as great as that of the person overseas. That posting can be found in the GCF Archives at this address:

In 2008 it was a story about the "bond" of Marines. That can be found
in the GCF Archives at this address:

In 2009 it was a story about servicemen returning from Afghanistan. That can be found in the GCF Archives at this address:

In 2010 there were two items: (1) The Virtual Wall (a tribute to all those lost during the Vietnam war) and "Thank You Soldiers" (an original song sung by the 3rd Grade class at Tussing Elementary School in Colonial Heights, Virginia. That can be found in the GCF Archives at this address:

In 2012 it was a story about the history of Taps, that haunting song played at all military funerals. That can be found in the GCF Archives at this address:

In 2012 it was a story about The Old Gentleman. That can be found in the GCF Archives at this address:


This year I want to share something different. So many times we think of the veterans themselves on this day, and we should absolutely continue to do so. However, we should also remember their families who remain at home, without their loved ones. Most of those deployed return, some do not. This piece is about the children in military families.

Military Child vs. Civilian Child

1. A Civilian child usually dances around or talks during the National Anthem. A military child stands quietly with his hand over his heart.

2. A civilian child sees race. A military child sees diversity.

3. A civilian child has a best friend in his hometown. A military child has a best friend on almost every continent.

4. A civilian child sees only the plane flying over. A military child not only can identify the type of plane flying but knows someone who works on them.

5. A civilian child sees a person in uniform. A military child can tell you what branch they are in and what their rank is.

6. A civilian child thinks home is where the heart is. A military child knows home is where the military sends you.

7. A civilian child lives for tomorrow, and what it might bring. A military child lives for today, for tomorrow Daddy or Mommy might get called away again.

8. A civilian child gets to kiss Mommy and Daddy goodnight each night. A military child sometimes has to kiss a picture of Daddy or Mommy goodnight.

9. A civilian child talks on the phone for fun. A military child lives for the short phone calls that happen far too few times.

10. A civilian child can read and write in English. A military child can read and write in acronyms.

11. A civilian child says "good-bye." A military child says "see you later."

12. A civilian child will probably go to the same school his entire life. A military child will probably change schools every 2 years.

13. A civilian child might rarely leave his hometown for anything other than vacation. A military child will rarely see his "hometown" for anything other than vacation.

14. A civilian child supports our soldiers. A military child is almost a soldier.

The next time you say a prayer for our troops, please say a prayer for their families, especially their children back home, trying to be strong.


As a final thought on my part, let me share a favorite prayer:

"Lord, keep our servicemen and women safe, whether they serve at home or overseas. Hold them in Your loving hands and protect them as they protect us. Also remember their families back at home. They sacrifice by being away from their loved ones."

Let's all keep those currently serving and those who have gone before in our thoughts. They are the reason for the many freedoms we enjoy.

Remember, we live in the land of the free because of the brave. (Heroes don't wear capes; heroes wear dog tags.) __._,_.___
Mustard Seed Financial - Who’s Gene Fama and Why Should You Care?

Gene Fama finally won the Nobel Prize in economics. I say finally because he won it based largely on research done when he was barely in his twenties and now he’s 74. In the fall of 1976, I was taking an investments course at Southern Arkansas University as part of my degree program. Each student was assigned a paper to read and report on. My paper was entitled: “The Efficient Market Hypothesis: A Review of the Theoretical and Empirical Work,” by Gene Fama. The paper was published in the prestigious Journal of Finance, the top journal in the field. It was a lengthy paper with lots of squiggles. “Squiggles” is a technical term for mathematical symbols that no one else can understand or even pronounce.

The paper was a summary of Fama’s research and resulting dissertation as a doctoral student at the University of Chicago in the 1960s. By the time I finished reading the paper, I had a headache and only a faint idea of what an efficient market was. But years later, I think I can simplify it for you, with no squiggles. Fama’s basic idea was that the price of a security fully reflects all the public information that is known about the company at the present time. So if Wal-Mart is trading at $75 a share, for example, then that is the consensus estimate of the fair value of Wal-Mart. New information comes to light on virtually a continuous basis. For example, the Department of Labor may announce new unemployment figures reflecting a healthier economy. This is good news for Wal-Mart. Investors around the globe, both professional and amateur, will make a judgment about that news and it will be reflected in the price almost instantaneously. That’s right, almost instantaneously. So any opportunity to earn excessive profits from that new information disappears in a flash.

Notice that the efficient market hypothesis applies to publicly available information. Private information is a different story. Suppose Murphy Oil drills a well that produces a gazillion barrels a day, doubling their capacity immediately. This information, when released to the public, will certainly affect the stock price. If the geologists on the rig call their broker and buy shares ahead of the release of this information, this is profiting from insider, or nonpublic, information. It’s also illegal. By the time I hear about this discovery in the evening paper thrown to me in Taylor, any price adjustments have long been made. Even if I read about it on the Internet, I’m still late to the party.

Fama’s basic conclusion was that prices move up and down during the day based on new information, some good and some bad. In other words, in the short run, stock prices follow a random walk. This was a blow to Wall Street firms, where the story is that smart graduates from Ivy League schools can get ahead of the curve and pick winning stocks. Fama’s work demonstrated that it’s virtually impossible to consistently pick winners because of random releases of information and constantly adjusting stock prices. On the other hand, he readily acknowledged that stock prices generally rise over time. So why is Fama important to you? His research on stock pricing led to the creation of the index fund. With an index fund, the focus isn’t on picking winners and losers. Instead the focus is on the fact that stock prices do rise over time. So all the stocks in a particular index are considered suitable for purchase. Index type mutual funds now account for roughly twenty percent of the money invested in the stock market. And that share is growing rapidly.

Fama didn’t rest on his laurels after developing the efficient market theory. He’s done extensive research in other areas, spending his entire career at the University of Chicago where he earned his degree. As a doctoral student 15 years later, I picked up another Fama paper written with co-author Ken French. Another paper with lots of squiggles, many of which I still don’t understand. That paper ended up being a definitive work on the returns of small cap stocks and value stocks. Over the years, he’s published well over 100 articles and has earned the title, the “father of modern finance.” And finally, he’s been recognized for the work he did back in the 1960s on the unpredictable, random behavior of stock prices and the resulting impact on the investor world. Gene Fama is one of three Nobel Prize winners in economics this year for his work on asset pricing theory. When you take away all the squiggles, it’s a pretty simple idea. Profound, but simple. Congratulations Professor Fama! It’s long overdue.

Published in the Texarkana Gazette on October 27, 2013.
Favorite Quotes:

"All happiness depends on a leisurely breakfast." - - John Gunther via Vanessa Malone
Education is the kindling of a flame, not the filling of a vessel. ~ Socrates via Ron Hazelwood.
I often worry about the safety of my children, especially when they roll their eyes and me and talk back.
A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions. ~ Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. via Ron Hazelton
Every child deserves a champion -- an adult who will never give up on them, who understands the power of connection and insists that they become the best that they can possibly be. ~ Rita Pierson via Ron Hazelton
Thought for Today: We really teach ourselves. If we want to learn, we will always find someone to learn from, be they dead or alive, great or unknown. We learn from everything we see and hear around us - if we are willing to pay attention. ~ Alexander Volkov
Compassion will cure more sins than condemnation. ~ Henry Ward Beecher via Ron Hazelton
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it. ~ Franklin P. Jones via Ron Hazelton
Thought for Today: “Far and away the best prize that life offers is the chance to work hard at work worth doing. ~ Thomas Jefferson via Ron Hazelton
Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. ~ Benjamin Franklin
Opportunity is often missed because we are broadcasting when we should be tuning in." ~ Anonymous - - via Ron Hazelton
We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we're curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.” ~ Walt Disney via Ron Hazelton
The following wisdom is shared by our friends and family.
God is our helper....if He can turn a shepherd into a king, fishermen into disciples, a murderer into the deliverer of a nation, I know He can help me get through this day with a positive attitude. ~ Mary Louise Brownlee Alexis

From a grandmother--Get your kids up a few minutes earlier and have daily devotions with them. They need Jesus more than a few extra minutes of sleep. ~ Mary Louise Brownlee Alexis
"I would rather travel across China by jeep in the will of God than drive across the USA in a Rolls Royce out of the will of God"! ~ Larry Garza via Debbie Troquille and Brian Lester Bohrer.
The most valuable things in life are carried in your heart, not in your pockets ~ Nancee Davis Law
Hold those you love close to your heart ~ Nancee Davis Law

If you were the only person on earth, God still would have come and died for you. ~ Nancee Davis Law

I would like to think the temps in Heaven are gonna be Sunny, breezy and about 70 all yr round. ~ Nancee Davis Law
"Sometimes the amount of self control it takes not to say what is on my mind is so immense I need a nap afterward." Norma Kay Rowe

For the latest issue of "Da Bleat.", go to
Our photos are posted at
Photos on the front of as well as in this week’s “Bleat” include - - Moon over Jefferson Street, The Beautiful Old Haynesville, LA Train Station, A Beautiful '57 T-Bird , Wilson Bearden Remodeling, Annettes new Kitchen Compost Collector, Sunset over Main Street, The view from Magnolia Regional Medical Center's Main Entrance, Annette Power Washing the Patio and our front Patio wall, The "Thang" under wrap, Tamales, Albemarle Fire Fighters with Old Number 911.
Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
Excerpts from Debbie Troquille’s Big Little Book Of Devotions:
Saturday: 11/09 2 Sam. 22:34 says that He makes me as surefooted as a deer, enabling me to stand on mountain heights. (NLT) He helps us do extraordinary things, each ordinary day! I'm glad I belong to Him!
Sunday: 11/10 Today I'm thankful for salvation!! I could write that everyday, but that'll be what I'm thankful for today. This is in response to Lawanda Jones' idea, to write one thing you are thankful for, each day between now and Thanksgiving.....good idea, Lawanda.
Monday: 11/11 "We are the "Home of the Free," because of the brave."(author unknown) To all who have served in America's military, THANK YOU! You are our heroes! God bless you, and Happy Veterans Day!
Tuesday: 11/12 No matter how wonderful our life experiences are, there are always the not so wonderful, experiences. The key is to recall the good ones. Psalms 75:1.."We give thanks to you, O God, we give thanks, for your Name is near; men tell of your wonderful deeds." Today, I'm recalling the wonderful deeds of the Lord, in my life, and the name above every name, Jesus! I'm thankful.....
Wednesday: 11/13 Jesus was wounded and bruised for our transgressions and iniquities.(Isaiah 53:5) That same scripture says that He was punished, so that we could have peace of mind, AND that the stripes He received, from the beating He took, were so we could be healed. Jesus bought salvation for us, spirit, soul,(mind) and body, and He handed it to us...a gift of life! I can't thank Him enough, for loving me (all of us) so much!
Thursday: 11/14 He that is discontented in one place, will seldom be happy in another.(Aesop) Paul Troquille says people move about to get away from things, but when they arrive at the new place, there they are!! That's funny, but true. It's not a place or a situation that must always be right. An outlook and attitude adjustment, may be needed. The Lord can help us make those adjustments, AND He'll get us to new places, if need be. Everyone, enjoy this beautiful Thursday!
Friday: 11/15 Colossians 2:10 says that we are complete through our union with Christ, who is the head over every ruler and authority. It's vitally important to know, that other people can only add to us in life, but they can never complete us or make us whole. Jesus alone, completes us! It's not fair to our families or friends to expect them to do for us, what only He can do. They all need Him too, to be "whole!" Remember today, no matter how fragmented your days and schedules are, if Jesus is your Lord, you're complete. Nothing is missing, nothing is broken. Now, it is finished, His blood has spoken! (a song we sing at church) Have a happy Friday, friends!
Break Point - - God's Double Agent - - The Dramatic Story of Bob Fu
By: Eric Metaxas

Let me warn you, if you pick up Bob Fu’s amazing story of his defiance of the Chinese government and his escape from China, you won’t be putting it down.

Every day, millions of Chinese Christians are willing to face poverty, prison, separation from loved ones, even death for the sake of Jesus.

One of those Christians is a man named Bob Fu, who now lives in the United States. His new book, “God's Double Agent,” tells the inspiring story of how he stood up to Chinese Communist leaders, was thrown into prison, and escaped to America.

Bob grew up desperately poor during Mao's so-called “Great Leap Forward.” His teachers recognized his intelligence and leadership skills—skills that led to trouble when Bob began criticizing the widespread corruption in the Chinese government.

In college, Bob led fellow students to the Tiananmen Square demonstrations in 1989. He escaped the June 4 massacre unharmed only because his fiancé had become so sick that he left the square to take her to a hospital.

Knowing Bob's leadership role in the demonstrations, the government forced him to write so-calledDaily_Commentary_11_15_13 “confessions.” Former friends were afraid to associate with him—even worse, some denounced him. At a low point, as Bob considered suicide, a classmate slipped him a little book—a biography of a Chinese intellectual who had embraced Christianity through the influence of British missionaries.

Bob writes that the story seemed to be “whispering deep truths to me with each new page.” He joyfully accepted Christ and promptly began evangelizing others. After college he went to work teaching English. But as God's double agent, he opened a secret school to train up ministers of the gospel.

Bob himself was about to receive the education of a lifetime. Christian dissident Alan Yuan had once told him, “If you want to be a faithful minister and follower of Jesus Christ, you should learn prison theology.” Prison, he explained, was where “you find out more about God and his faithfulness than anywhere else.” My friend Chuck Colson would certainly have agreed with that.

And when government officials discovered the illegal seminary, they threw Bob and his wife into prison. Despite harsh conditions, Bob witnessed to his fellow inmates, leading many to Christ.

After their release two months later, the unrepentant Fus added to their so-called “crimes” by purposely conceiving a child without government permission. But now they had to make a fearful choice: Stay in China where they would be forced to undergo an abortion, or attempt to escape the country. If they were caught, they faced long prison terms.

With the help of the underground church, the two fled to Hong Kong. But their troubles were not over. Britain was preparing to hand over control of Hong Kong to the Chinese. And that's when the Fus found out that the U.S. Consulate did not recognize religious refugees—only political ones.

Thanks to constant prayer, a miracle or two, and some determined American religious and political leaders, the Fus escaped on the last working day before the Chinese takeover. Talk about cutting it close!Newsletter_Gen_180x180_B

There is much more to this exciting story, which you can read in “God’s Double Agent.” But let me ask you a question: Are you also willing to be faithful to Christ no matter what it costs—your job, your savings, your freedom?

As our religious freedoms come under increasing pressure (think about the HHS mandate and ENDA, for instance), many Christians here in the U.S. may, along with their Chinese brethren, have to “choose this day whom you will serve” (Joshua 24:13).
Further Reading and Information

Please, come to the BreakPoint online bookstore to get a copy of Bob Fu’s amazing story, “God’s Double Agent” [] to learn more about his experience in China. Let his story challenge you to discover how deep your own faith really is.

In the Lion's Den: A Shocking Account of Persecuted and Martyrdom of Christians Today and How We Should Respond, audio, 4 CDs Nina Shea | Broadman & Holman Publishers | January 1997 []

Copyright © 2013 Colson Center. All Rights Reserved
Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.

Residents of Columbia County, Arkansas are represented in Congress by:

Senator John Boozman (R_ AR)
1 Russell Courtyard
Washington DC, 20510
Phone: 202-224-4843
Senator Mark Pryor (D_ AR)
Phone 202_224_2353
FAX 202_228_0908
Representative Tom Cotton (R )
Phone 202_225_3772
FAX 202_225_1314

Other states congresspersons can be found at: []

"In this world, you must be a bit too kind to be kind enough." - Pierre Carlet de Chamblain de Marivaux

"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself." - Harvey Fierstein

"My interest is in the future because I am going to spend the rest of my life there." - Charles Kettering

"Successful people are always looking for opportunities to help others. Unsuccessful people are always asking, 'What's in it for me?' " - Brian Tracy

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." - Eleanor Roosevelt

"It is never too late to be what you might have been." - George Eliot

"We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are." - Anais Nin

"Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go." - T.S. Eliot

"When you look at yourself from a universal standpoint, something inside always reminds or informs you that there are bigger and better things to worry about." - Albert Einstein

"The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains. The superior teacher demonstrates. The great teacher inspires." - William A. Ward

"If you work just for money, you'll never make it, but if you love what you're doing and you always put the customer first, success will be yours." - Ray Kroc

"The new source of power is not money in the hands of a few, but information in the hands of many." - John Naisbitt

"To care for him who shall have borne the battle and for his widow and his orphan." - Abraham Lincoln

'Faith is a place of mystery, where we find the courage to believe in what we cannot see and the strength to let go of our fear of uncertainty." - Brene Brown

"Don't look where you fell, look where you slipped." - African Proverb

"The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me." - Ayn Rand

"Everything you've ever wanted is on the other side of fear." - George Addair
Breaking Christian News

China to Change its Decades-old 1-Child Policy, Abolish Labor Camps
Aimee Herd (Nov 15, 2013)

"I think everybody in China should have the right to have any number of kids. I feel so good to raise two children. Nowadays in China, the welfare of old people is not good." -Luo Dongling, Chinese citizen.

Chinese children(Beijing, China)—According to reports, China's officials are planning to institute the first major changes to its harsh "one-child policy" in almost 30 years, following demographics statistics that show a very unbalanced population. (Photo: CNN)

The Communist country's current policy, which was introduced in 1979, limits urban couples to one child, and two for rural families if their first-born is a girl, according to the USA Today report. China's strict rule has cost more preborn babies' lives through abortion than any other nation.

And, the effect after decades of this policy is that the elderly population—which relies upon their children for assistance—is quickly growing, outnumbering the younger generations who could help provide that care.

In addition there is a "long-term gender imbalance," due to the "abortions…and the infanticide of baby girls by parents who cling to a traditional preference for a son."

However, the USA Today report stated, last year, a government think tank urged China's leaders to start phasing out the policy and allow two children for every family by 2015, saying the country had paid a "huge political and social cost."

Following a recent 4-day meeting in Beijing with party leaders, it was decided that changes would be made to the one-child policy and, in addition, the labor (or re-education through labor) camps will be abolished, in an apparent effort to improve human rights.
Massive International Effort Rescues Nearly 400 Children, Busts Horrific Child Exploitation Ring
Teresa Neumann (Nov 15, 2013)

Of those arrested, 76 were said to be Americans. Disturbingly, many of the criminals arrested held positions of influence, including school teachers, doctors, nurses, pastors and foster parents.

Operation Spade(Toronto, Canada)—After working diligently for three years, an international effort called Operation Spade, initiated and based in Canada, has finally been successful in rescuing nearly 400 children after breaking up a child pornography and exploitation ring that investigators said involved some of the most shocking abuse they've ever seen. The sheer amount of images and videos, they added, was "staggering."

"It's a first for the magnitude of the victims saved," said Inspector Joanna Beavin-Desjardins, of Toronto's Sex Crimes Unit.

According to a report in The National Post, police allege Brian Way, 42, had been running an "exploitation movie, production and distribution company" called Azov Films since 2005, and had made more than $4 million from the business. The videos were then distributed from Toronto to customers around the world through the mail and the Internet.

Of those arrested, 76 were said to be Americans. Disturbingly, many of the criminals arrested held positions of influence, including school teachers, doctors, nurses, pastors and foster parents.
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GCF: Blizzard Conditions

If this was forwarded to you, please consider your own subscription to Good Clean Fun. It's free! Just send an email to:

A government warning was recently issued that anyone traveling in icy or blizzard conditions should take:

- Shovel, blankets or sleeping bag
- Extra clothing including scarf, hat and gloves
- 24 hours supply of food and drink
- De-icer
- 5 lbs of rock salt
- flashlight with spare batteries
- Road flares and reflective triangles
- Tow rope
- 5 gallon gas can
- First aid kit
- Jump cables

I felt like a complete idiot on the bus this morning.

----------- Today's saying or thought --------------
I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail.

GCF: Autobahn

Although he knew it was illegal to hitchhike on the autobahn in Germany, my son, after hours with no cars passing by on the deserted road he'd been dropped off on, decided to take a chance. He ventured down to the autobahn, put up his thumb and optimistically held up his sign with "Denmark" written clearly on it.

His heart sank when, within 15 minutes, a police car pulled up. The officers just looked at him for a minute or two, then one got out of the cruiser, smiling.

As the officer approached he started speaking in a mixture of English and German, "Two things: First, ist verboten, absolutely forbidden, to hitchhike on the autobahn. Second," he continued as he pointed in the opposite direction, "Denmark is that way."

----------- Today's saying or thought --------------
Golf was once a rich man's port, but now it has millions of poor players!

GCF: Sick Aunt

Finally, the good-natured boss was compelled to call Smith into his office.

"It has not escaped my attention," he pointed out, "that every time there's a home game at the stadium, you have to take your aunt to the doctor."

"You know you're right, sir," exclaimed Smith. "I didn't realize it.
You don't suppose she's faking, do you?"

----------- Today's saying or thought --------------
I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out.

GCF: Socks

When I was working as a clerk at a sporting-goods store, a woman came up to my register with a package of white athletic socks. "Will you open this up so I can see how the socks feel?" she asked.

Reluctantly I tore open the package, and she scrutinized the merchandise. She handed me the package saying, "I'll take them."

Relieved, I started to ring her up, until she interrupted me: "Can I have another pack? This one's been opened."

----------- Today's saying or thought --------------
I am willing to make the mistakes if someone
else is willing to learn from them.

GCF: Cute as a Bug

A man was pleased to see his small daughter's fascination as she stared at a bug in their backyard. He thought she was developing an interest in science. Then the child remarked, "Grandma says I'm as cute as a bug. The bugs where she lives must be cuter than ours."

----------- Today's saying or thought --------------
Crime wouldn't pay if the government ran it.
*** Good Clean Fun ***
is brought to you by
Thomas S. Ellsworth

Visit the Good Clean Fun web site at

Stop for a visit, leave with a smile!
_ _______________________________ _
If this was forwarded to you, please consider your own subscription to Good Clean Fun. It's free! Just send an email to:
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Murphy's Laws and Others

Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to go to the bathroom.
Law of Gravity
Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe.
Law of Probability
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of Random Numbers
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal; someone always answers.
Variation Law
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.
Law of the Bath
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Law of Close Encounters
The probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
Law of the Result
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, IT WILL!!!
Law of Biomechanics
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to
go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.
The Coffee Law
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
Murphy's Law of Lockers
If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
Law of Physical Surfaces
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.
Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it, OR the store will stop selling it!!
Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better..
But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick.
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NEW CHURCH INSTRUCTIONS (They’re coming) ....

PASTOR: "Praise the Lord!"

CONGREGATION: "Hallelujah!"

PASTOR: "Will everyone please turn on their tablet, PC, iPad, smart phone, and Kindle Bibles to 1 Cor. 13:13.

And please switch on your Bluetooth to download the sermon."


"Now, Let us pray committing this week into God's hands.

Open your Apps, BBM, Twitter and Facebook, and chat with God"


"As we take our Sunday tithes and offerings, please have your credit and debit cards ready."

"You can log on to the church Wi-Fi using the password 'Lord909887.'

The ushers will circulate mobile card swipe machines among the worshipers:

a.. Those who prefer to make electronic fund transfers are directed to computers and laptops at the rear of the church.
b.. Those who prefer to use iPads can open them.
c.. Those who prefer telephone banking, take out your cell phones to transfer your contributions to
the church account.”

The holy atmosphere of the Church becomes truly electrified as ALL the smart phones, iPads, PCs and laptops beep and flicker!

“Final Blessing and Closing Announcements...

a.. This week's ministry cell meetings will be held on the various Facebook group pages where the usual group chatting takes place. Please log in and don't miss out.
b.. Thursday's Bible study will be held live on Skype at 1900hrs GMT. Please don't miss out.
c.. You can follow your Pastor on Twitter this weekend for counseling and prayers.
d.. God bless you and have nice day.”

Thanks to Waneta
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Tough Account

Jones applied to a collections agency for a job, but he had no experience. He was so intense that the manager gave him a tough account with the promise that if he collected it, he'd get the job.

Two hours later, Jones came back with the entire amount. "Amazing!" the manager said. "How did you do it?"

"Easy," Jones replied. "I told him if he didn't pay up, I'd tell all his other creditors he paid us."

Received from ArcaMax Jokes.


Think About It

- Is there another word for synonym?

- Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?

- What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

- Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

- If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

- Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

- If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

- Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

- How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?

Received from ArcaMax Jokes.


Tom Swift-ly through the Old Testament

"I have sinned," said Adam originally.

"Have an apple," the serpent said fruitfully.

"Come here, Abel," Cain said brotherly.

"You snails almost didn't make it," Noah said wetly.

"No spika de Inglish," they babbled at Babel confusedly.

"Nonsense, I'll look behind me all I please," replied Lot's wife saltily.

"Here's your pottage," Jacob said hairily.

"My thigh is out of joint," Jacob said angelically.

"I was the sun and you were the stars," Joseph said dreamily.

"Hey, fellas, look at my new coat," Joseph said colorfully.

"I feel like traveling on, Madame Potiphar," Joseph said coatlessly.

"Now we can open grain storage area #1," Joseph said leanly.

"See how the reeds made him in just certain spots," Pharaoh's daughter said mosaically.

"Tomorrow, we'll cross the Red Sea," Moses said dividedly.

"But we cannot find water if there is nothing but rocks," the ladies of Israel told Moses gushingly.

"And here is your calf to worship," Aaron said goldenly.

"There are the pieces of the Ten Commandments," Moses said stonily.

"With God, we are bigger than the giants," Joshua and Caleb said largely.

"____________________________________," said Balaam's ass crushingly.

"Sure I'll hide you, spies," Rahab said scarletly.

"Now what could have caused the defeat at Ai?" Achan said guiltily.

"Can you give me a place to sleep and all I need?" Sisera said naillessly.

"Will the fleece be wet this dewy morning?" Gideon asked dryly.

"Your weapons are a trumpet, a pitcher, and a torch," Gideon said generally.

"That makes a thousand Philistines," Samson said hairily.

"Get up, Samson, your enemies are on you!" Delilah said snippingly.

"This is my new husband, Boaz," Ruth said messianically.

"Now, boys, let's subjugate our impulses," Eli said fatherlyly.

"Here am I," Samuel said prophetically.

"Just call me 'Kingy,' boys," Saul said firstly.

"I love you," Jonathan told David brotherly.

"Lion, let go of my lamb," David said barehandedly.

"You'll never conquer me," Goliath said stonily.

"Here, catch the javelin," Saul said jealously.

"Meet my new wife, Bathsheba," David said adulterously.

"Divide the baby with a sword," Solomon said wisely.

"I'm amazed at your wisdom," the Queen of Sheba said regally.

"We'll not have taxation without representation," Jeroboam said rebelliously.

"We've got to pay for our Great Society," Rehoboam said threateningly.

"Thank you, Sir Raven," Elijah said fully.

"Here comes old Elisha," the children said baldly.

"That's the seventh dip," Namaan said cleanly.

"The driver is Jehu," the watchman reported to Jehoram furiously.

"This the new Fury Chariot," Jehu said windily.

"As goes Gomer, so goeth Israel," Hosea said prophetically.

"My feet are cold," Shadrach said fierily.

"Long live, O King," Daniel told Darius sleepily.

"This is where the wall of Jerusalem should be," Nehemiah said constructively.

"I've seen a little trouble during my life," Job said experientially.

"No fish for me," Jonah said greatly.

Copyright (C) 1960, Asa Sparks, 6045 Camelot Court, Montgomery AL 36117

Received from Stan Kegel.


Stained Glass

An minister tells of his first Sunday in a new parish and of presenting the children's message. It seems the sanctuary in the new church had some magnificent stained glass windows, so his message centered on how each of us is called to help make up the whole picture of life (the life of the community of the faithful). Like the pictures in the windows, it takes many little panels of glass to make the whole picture.

And then he said, "You see each one of you is a little pane." And then pointing to each child, "You're a little pane. And you're a little pane. And you're a little pane. And..."

It took a few moments before he realized why everyone was laughing so hard.

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.



A man died and went to heaven, where he met St. Peter sitting at a desk in the middle of a great hall. On the walls were millions of clocks.

"What are those used for?" he asked.

St. Peter said, "There's one of them for every living person on Earth ticking out the days of their lives."

The newcomer noticed that the hands of some of the clocks were moving faster than others. "Why do they move at different speeds?" he asked.

St. Peter said, "Every time you tell a lie, you lose one hour of your life and your clock speeds up."

The newcomer looked around and then asked, "Do you have one of these for my local politician?"

St. Peter answered, "Sure! It's in the back room. We use it for a ceiling fan."


Awful Time

"I've just had the most awful time," said a boy to his friends. "First I got angina pectoris, then arteriosclerosis. Just as I was recovering, I got psoriasis. They gave me hypodermics, and to top it all, tonsillitis was followed by appendectomy."

"Wow! How did you pull through?" sympathized his friends.

"I don't know," the boy replied. "Toughest spelling test I ever had."

Received from ArcaMax Jokes.


Bass Boat

A good ole Alabama boy won a bass boat in a raffle drawing. He brought it home and his wife looked at him and said, "What are you gonna do with that? There ain't no water deep enough to float a boat within 100 miles of here."

He said, "I won it and I'm a gonna keep it."

His brother came over to visit several days later. He saw the wife and asked where his brother was. She said, "He's out there in his bass boat," pointing to the field behind the house.

The brother headed out behind the house and saw his brother sitting in a bass boat with a fishing rod in his hand down in the middle of a big field. He yelled out to him, "What are you doing?"

His brother yelled back, "I'm fishin'. What does it look like I'm a doing?"

His brother yelled, "It's people like you that give people from Alabama a bad name, makin' everybody think we is stupid. If I could swim, I'd come out there and give you what for!"

Received from westimom.



My wife, Mary, had a lumpectomy and is going through 12 weeks of chemotherapy. The other day, she told our four-year-old granddaughter, Emily, that, because of the chemo, all her hair would fall out.

Emily looked at Mary with surprise and asked, "Does that mean I'll have two grandpas?"

Received from Richard Newcomb.


Bicycling with Granddaughter

Out bicycling one day with my eight-year-old granddaughter, Carolyn, I got a little wistful. "In ten years," I said, "you'll want to be with your friends and you won't go walking, biking, and swimming with me like you do now."

Carolyn shrugged. "In ten years you'll be too old to do all those things anyway."

Received from Penny Bartnicki.



A blonde camper at Long Pine Key in Everglades National Park decided to take a dip in the lake with her dog, despite signs saying, "No Swimming - Alligators."

She swam to an island about 75 yards from the shore, then saw some alligators and refused to swim back.

"Didn't you see the signs?" asked the ranger who retrieved her in a canoe.

"Sure," the blonde said. "But, I didn't think it applied to me."

Received from ArcaMax Jokes.


Rate this funny at

Brought to you by The Good, Clean Funnies List A cheerful heart is good medicine... (Prov 17:22a) Mail address:
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Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Column - -

Limerick Jest
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A disheveled young man would ingest
Lots of data, as if for a test.
Then each day, without fail,
He’d attempt to regale
Folks with factoids they wished he’d repressed.
Congratulations to Ann Martin, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:

A dad who just planned to relax
Didn’t have all the relevant facts;
When his daughter named Lizzie
Said “Dad, are you busy?”
He said, “No, dear, but why do you ax?”
Congratulations to Kathy El-Assal, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”

Her compliance with rules was so lax,
That Mad gave her lim’rick the ax.
With mission aborted
And craftiness thwarted,
Would syntax require a sin tax?

© Madeleine Begun Kane. All Rights Reserved.
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"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." __ Franklin D. Roosevelt
"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. _ _ George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" _ _ Queen E. Watson
“A political class of Republicans and Democrats that look after themselves, not the Nation. A media hostile to the very precepts of this nation. A generation of Americans who see morals as vices, and are ignorant of America's Actual History.”
"The things that will destroy America are prosperity-at-any-price, peace-at-any-price, safety-first instead of duty-first, the love of soft living, and the get-rich-quick theory of life." - - Theodore Roosevelt
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Emergency Phone Number 911
(Fire, Police, Ambulance, Sheriff, etc. )
Central Dispatch 234_5655
(Non _ Emergency Number)
Direct Numbers
Ambulance _ 234_7371 (24 Hour)
Jail _ 234_5331 (24 Hour)
Poison Control _ 800_222_1222 (24 Hour)
http://www. aapcc. org/
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Interested in getting in touch with the Banner_News through e_mail? For the editor, For news and sports items, Coming Events, Diary, Church News, school and civic events. []
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"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." __ "Bug"
"I read the end of the book. We win!" __ "Bug"
"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." __ "Bug"
"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." _ _ "Bug"
"It's no big deal doing what God tells you to do. A big deal would be NOT doing what God tells you to do. Just ask Jonah." _ _ Paul Troquille
“Nam et ipsa scientia potestas est.” Knowledge is power. _ Francis Bacon
"The problem is here and now. The time for talk is past. The time for action is now."
Comments on the first Earth Day _ James F. McClellan via John "Fuzzy" Thurman
Hope you enjoy the newsletter.
Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" __"Bug"
God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
God is Good and Faithful CU 73 IC JFM CSP NREMT_I KC5HII

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