Sunday, June 30, 2013

Bugs Bleat - - GCF: Spelling Words

Volume 15, Issue 26 Friday, June 28, 2013

Annette with her "Jimmy" Durante" eggplant from the Magnolia Farmer's Market



Josiah and Ethan enjoying an ice cream sandwich after toiling in the heat helping me set up a "soaker hose" to water these Lilies














(notice the rare double flower?),


Annette helps the gang sell BBQ to raise funds for our kids and youth going to summer camp


one of Annette's beautiful baskets of flowers



Josiah working to win free Angry Birds games.








Hello ALL,

Annette and I saw our other favorite specialist last week, Dr. Donna Rushing, the world’s best endocrinologist. As usual, she heaped unending praise on Annette just because she’s lost weight, is exercising, her A1C’s are almost normal and she’s off almost all diabetic medications. Dr. Rushing uses Annette as a success “Poster Girl” for all her other patients. Then the Doctor turned to me and said that she was proud I was trying and that it was good that the skin on my toes is soft. It sort of reminded me of the way the teacher in my special “ed” class spoke to me when I was a senior in high school.

There’s always someone messing up the “curb” and setting the goal way up high for us normal folks …
~~~~~
Fresh Pinto Beans & Hot Water Bread
~~~~~
A friend shared this story with us; “… last week when I turned in my rental car, a Sheriff's Deputy was at the Avis office following up on a missing car report. I heard him tell the Avis clerk he would "pass by that address and see if the car was there." And he left.

Yikes!! Who does that??

Then, after I got home, Avis called ME to follow up on a missing car report - they wanted to know where the Kia Forte was that I had rented the week before!!

(After some discussion with the Avis representative, it seems out that the mileage on the car I turned in was less than the recorded mileage out (man am I glad I kept copies of my paperwork.) The Avis guy and I are guessing that the lady at the desk decided to just add 100 miles to the mileage out and call it good. After more investigation, we finally concluded that she must have checked in the wrong car instead of the one I rented.)
~
Reminds me of the time I came in from the Brinefield and Mitzie told me that a deputy sheriff had been by looking for me. So I called the sheriff’s office and they told me to "never mind." ?????
~
So here's the "Rest Of The Story." After wondering what that visit from the deputy was about for a day or so, I called a friend at the Sheriff's Office and asked him if he knew what was going on. He laughed and told me what had happened that day.

Seems that a woman (whom I didn't know) had filed a sexual harassment complaint against me. As the police chief knew where I worked (and that it was outside the city limits) he asked the Sheriff to send a Deputy out to question me. However while the deputy was looking for me, the woman decided to go ahead and file complaints against the Mayor, County Judge, Sheriff, Police Chief, the Fire Chief, the owner of the local Ambulance Service, all the policemen who were at the station that day, etc. etc. At that point, the investigating police officer decided to discard ALL the woman's complaints.

The real mystery was how I got onto that exclusive list. That question became a little clearer when I found out that my daughter knew her. Vanessa told me; "Dad, she's the lady that walks through our neighborhood every day." I never did discover what I had done to warrant her complaint, besides living along her walking route.
~~~~~
A friend has suffered the pain of a kidney stone this week. I had one of them there kidney stones several years back and I can sure confirm that they hurt like the dickens.

After my screaming became truly annoying, Annette took me down to the E/R to let them deal with me. They quickly sent me to X-Ray where I continued to whine and cry.

The X-Ray tech told me; "You sure are being a big baby about this." I replied; "IT HURTS!" To which she countered; "Oh for goodness sake, I've had 11 of them and 5 required surgery to remove."

I screamed: "YOU CAN HAVE MORE THAN ONE KIDNEY STONE!" and passed out.
~~~~~
Before she retired Annette was our "CARE" pastor at Magnolia Christian Center. Her job was to work with people in need (sickness, finances, whatever) and help meet their needs.

She learned very early on that it's like Abe Lincoln said; "You can help some of the people all of the time. You can help all of the people some of the time. But you can't help all of the people all of the time."

Her main concern was the people but a close second was not squandering the finite resources she had to minister with. So it was a very very seldom thing that she ever gave anyone money. She'd go buy them food or medicine or pay their utilities or get them a motel room for the night or put gas in their vehicle or even find them a vehicle to drive to work, but ... unless she intimately knew them, cash was not normally an option (with the church's money.)

With that said, she still would fork over her own cash from time to time when someone’s plea touched her heart. And she has a soft heart.

I learned just how soft her heart was years ago when I had a job working as a bill collector and made the mistake of taking Annette with me one day. At first I thought I was a GREAT bill collector. Almost everyone was paying on their bill when I visited them. I kept considering myself to be a GREAT bill collector until later that month, when I saw our checking account balance. While I had been trying to collect the bills, Annette was busy giving them money to pay those bills.
~~~~~
Magnolia Regional Medical Center made a great announcement this week. “We are excited to have our UAMS South Residents on campus for orientation. Beginning Monday, they will be here full time serving Magnolia.”

Just about the final step in adding another eight doctors to serve the Magnolia, Columbia County, South Arkansas area.

KUDOS to UAMS, Margaret West and the MRMC staff for bringing this fine medical facility to our town.
~~~~~
My buddy Joe Tudor commented about forced diversity; “Whenever our churches try to assign people to small groups, the groups don't thrive. We seem to prefer to meet with "people like us" - no one likes to get out of their comfort zone.”
~
It’s normal to prefer to associate with your peers (people who share similarities such as age, background, etc.) That's why Promise Keepers strongly encouraged men to step out and make friends with someone out of their group. Otherwise, you will never really see the human side of folks outside your “group.”

This was brought home to me when an interracial couple began attending Magnolia Christian Center. At first, I saw them as “the interracial couple” but after getting to know them at church and in social settings for a few months, they were no longer “that couple” instead, they were Hover and Lois, my fellow Christians and friends. With that in mind, you can probably understand why I was encouraged when my youngest grandsons stopped the strange guy that roams Magnolia streets one day and introduced me to "Mr. Charles" who goes to their church. He still lives in his own world but you can tell he appreciates their friendship.

I don't think everyone has to have a "Rainbow" group of friends. But I have a problem with insulating our associations with our “peers” to the point that anyone we disagree with is shunned.

A fellow asked me why a particular person was my face book friend as he noticed their “posts” indicated them to be a "flaming" Liberal. I told him that I liked that person and appreciated their viewpoint, even if I seldom agreed with them. He couldn't understand that.
~~~~~
I saw an article titled "Are You Still Using A Microwave Oven?" This tome on the SUPPOSEDLY HORRIBLE dangers of using microwaves to cook is what I classify as a "Junk Science." It was poorly written with "conclusions" that were largely erroneous (i.e. "RADIATION steam in a milk bottle can cause it to explode." etc.) There may actually be some true facts about the dangers of cooking with microwave ovens that we should consider, but I didn't find them in this article.

However, in my opinion, the microwave has been largely responsible for the general decline in restaurant food. "Nukin" food usually doesn't make it taste better.

We microwave popcorn (and that probably is unhealthy due to the stuff they put in microwave popcorn to make it work.) We also heat left overs (single servings) and I like to cook my single slice of bacon on three layers of paper towels on a paper plate every morning. It’s the tool of choice to heat a cup of water for hot chocolate or green tea.

The microwave also does a GREAT job on frozen Zwolle Tamales. Wrap them individually in wax paper, nuke for a minute, rotate them on the plate, nuke for another minute, and rotate them on the plate, etc. until they are hot to the touch. This does a much better job than steaming.

http://www.lacrawfish.com/Zwolle-Tamales-P178.aspx

We can get Zwolle Tamales in the frozen food section at Sav-A-Lot here in Magnolia.
~~~~~
Data from Voyager 1, now more than 11 billion miles (18 billion kilometers) from the sun, suggest the spacecraft is close to becoming the first human-made object to reach interstellar space.

Long long ago, in a life far far away, David did his high school science fair project on Voyager. It included a very accurate model of the craft that was big enough to fill the allotted space at the science fair.

http://earthsky.org/science-wire/voyager-spacecraft-explores-final-frontier-of-our-solar-bubble
~~~~~
Car Talk - - You know you need a wheel alignment when you think a shopping cart has great handling...

Parents, you are busted! A new study says adults are 40% more likely to check their phones while driving than teens. - - http://bit.ly/19Jrwbs

Most new cars have 6 airbags... What has the most? … A 15-passenger van fully loaded with congressmen!
~
Prepare for your teen’s solo driving by understanding state laws, insurance requirements and driving risks, as well as steps you can take to stay involved. - - http://teendriving.aaa.com/AR/

Chuck Jackson
~~~~~
We’ve been getting more and more “Junk” phone calls since the “Do Not Call Registry” pretty much collapsed in failure. (Scammers Getting Around ‘Do Not Call’ List?
http://video.foxbusiness.com/v/2484836548001/scammers-getting-around-do-not-call-list/?playlist_id=935446234001)

Yesterday it was a “helpful” fellow who left us a long message saying he’d “heard” that we were shopping for a better deal on health insurance. I continue to take the time to report these on the “Do Not Call Website” [https://complaints.donotcall.gov/complaint/complaintcheck.aspx?panel=2] but most sources I’ve checked say that the caller’s technology has far outpaced the ability of the feds to find, catch and prosecute them.

With all the stuff recently exposed about NSA listening to our phone calls, it would seem that they ought to be able to track down these junk phone callers and shut them off? We’re holding our breath for that to happen.

Meanwhile, fighting technology with technology, spam call blockers route calls, block uninvited calls, detour calls or require incoming calls to key in a code. Check out Command Communications Inc. or Digitone Communications Inc. for tele-guarding products. Digitone's "PrivacyCall Screener," for instance, is a sleek, $100 box that blocks certain caller numbers and requires unidentified callers to enter a privacy code to make your phone ring. It eliminates not only junk faxes but also telemarketers, political pollsters, charities, stalkers, creditors -- even ex-spouses, according to Digitone's promotions. www.digitone.com/‎

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/11/28/AR2005112800642.html
http://www.cagle.com/news/nsa-snooping/
~~~~~
Here's to all you wonderful mothers without whom we wouldn't be dads... a trip down memory lane, from a list of questions my wife asked the doctor way back when. We wrote down the questions and answers and still have them.

Questions and Answers
Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 is enough.

Q: I'm two months pregnant now, when will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine the baby's sex?
A: childbirth

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure, is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out your pregnant.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diapers quickly.

Thanks to Daryl Cox
~~~~~
The World Famous PurpleHull Pea Festival & World Championship Rotary Tiller Race is this weekend. It’s certainly nice to see a ripening Emerson Purple Hull Pea crop.

This photo was taken June 24 at Emerson, Arkansas.
~~~~~
The U.S. accounts for 25% of all prison inmates in the world. Mandatory sentences account for much of this, especially long sentences for first time drug offenders classified as "dealers."

And, while potentially productive citizens languish in prison, the taxpayers pay for their room and board at an average cost of $30 per prisoner per day.

Surprise, surprise, the number one organization supporting longer mandatory sentences is the association of private prison companies.

It's estimated that 75% of current US prisoners would be better handled via community programs at a tremendously lower cost to the taxpayers. The late Chuck Colson was a very strong advocate for restitution programs whereby the convicted "non violent" felon is required to make restitution to the person(s) they have wronged as well as performing community service in lieu of prison time. [http://www.pfi.org/about-us/history-of-pfi]

Here in Columbia County, we've instituted a "Drug Court" to keep first offenders out of the prison system. They are required to get a job, get their high school diploma, etc. This program is very successful for those who stick with it and complete all the requirements.

This is a good way to help people change their lives as well as keeping them off the state "room and board" rolls.
~~~~~
In a related story, Arkansas Governor Mike Beebe has requested a review of the state’s parole system, saying a fresh look is needed after a 2008 parolee was charged in a Little Rock murder.
~~~~~
And, just what we needed to hear … SAU announced increases in tuition as well as room and board of 3.35%.
~
But the news isn’t all bad. The 82 employees of Arkansas' Scholarship lottery will receive 2 percent cost-of-living adjustments and merit pay raises and the director will receive two payments totaling $7,080 under a plan approved by the games' governing board.

The pay raises were approved after a legislative session where lawmakers voted to cut the scholarships funded by the games. The scholarships for new recipients will now have a tiered structure of scholarships for students - starting at $2,000 for a freshman at four year-colleges. It will increase by $1,000 each year, capping out at $5,000 for seniors.

Arkansas voters approved the lottery in 2008 to raise money for college scholarships, and the state began selling tickets the following year.

http://www.arkansasbusiness.com/article/93244/panel-approves-pay-raises-for-arkansas-lottery-employees
~~~~~
My cousin lost his cell phone while on a business trip, so he was in a panic when he arrived home thinking he'd left his BlackBerry at a restaurant. After a frantic search, he was relieved to hear it ringing in his desk.

His relief was short lived, however.

On the line was the restaurant, calling him to say he'd left his credit card there.
~~~~~
Favorite Quotes:

"Imagination will often carry us to worlds that never were. But, without it, we go nowhere ..."

- Carl Sagan via AETN - Arkansas Educational Television Network
~
"Don’t pray when you feel like it. Have an appointment with the Lord and keep it. A man is powerful on his knees"

Corrie Ten Boom
~
A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.

Winston Churchill
~
"Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame." - Benjamin Franklin

Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn. ~ Benjamin Franklin via Ron Hazelton
~
You see, at the center of all religions is the idea of Karma. You know, what you put out comes back to you: an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, or in physics; in physical laws every action is met by an equal or an opposite one. It's clear to me that Karma is at the very heart of the universe. I'm absolutely sure of it. And yet, along comes this idea called Grace to upend all that "as you reap, so you will sow" stuff. Grace defies reason and logic. Love interrupts, if you like, the consequences of your actions, which in my case is very good news indeed, because I've done a lot of stupid stuff.

Bono Grace Quote

http://www.interfaith.org/forum/bono-u2-on-grace-and-10162.html - - http://www.thepoachedegg.net/the-poached-egg/2010/09/bono-interview-grace-over-karma.html - - BEST - http://christian-quotes.ochristian.com/Bono-Quotes/
http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2005/augustweb-only/bono-0805.html
~~~~~
The following wisdom is shared by our friends.
~
Focus on individuals—avoid the herding. Jesus went searching for the one.
We become focused on the BIG picture (the forest) and we lose sight of the trees (individuals). Ministry is not ONLY about the BIG picture, it is also – and most specifically – about the individual. Disciples are not created in herds. Disciples are created as individuals (Great Commission)

Taken from Brian Dollar's blog--Kid's minister via Mary Louise Brownlee Alexis
~
Don't worry about what others think ... Most people don't use their brain very often.

Venkat Desireddy via Daryl Cox.
~
I'm thinking of cleaning the house today- and then I think, but it's Wednesday and it might need it again by the weekend- and THEN I think, but I'm not working right now and Joe is retired, so really, everyday is the weekend so why does it matter when I clean it? I now declare this- the day before the weekend and I am cleaning my house- starting with getting those cupcakes off the counter.

Martha Chapman
~
I for one am tired of watching 1984 come to pass!

Steve Ford
~
Jude 1:20-21 20 But you, beloved, building yourselves up in your most holy faith and praying in the Holy Spirit, 21 keep yourselves in the love of God, waiting for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ that leads to eternal life.

Amanda Bowen Franks
~
When you argue against Him you are arguing against the very power that makes you able to argue at all: it is like cutting off the branch you are sitting on. C. S. Lewis via Mikey Harwell
~
Obama at Brandenburg Gate this week, "Our work is not yet done." Lord, have mercy on us all.

I used to think I was younger than I am now; years of experience make me think I was right.

Chuck Jackson
~
If you go through life intentionally making others miserable, the only person you destroy will be yourself.

Sometimes giving hints doesn't help, you just have to come right out and say what you want

Your journey will be much lighter & easier if you don't carry the past with you

Before you complain about how hard you have it, look around...

God is closer than you think

God has perfect timing; never early, never late

Be careful what you wish for

Seeing so many situations through my job, my children may not realize how blessed they are to have parents that will help and support them whenever we can.

God has a plan for you and He has heard your prayers; you may not realize how close you are to your breakthrough. Don't Give Up!!

You may not end up where you thought you'd be, but you will always end up where you're meant to be . . .

If things in your life are Not Going Right, turn Left

Ansley learned a valuable lesson today, don't kick the cat or you will get scratched. :(

Nancee Davis Law
~
Between SB5, DOMA, Paula Deen, and Nelson Mandela..... *shew*......




I need to pray.

Jodi Wreyford McClellan
~
There aren't many things that warm your heart more than hearing a child laugh/giggle uncontrollably :-)

Amanda Warren-Newton
~
This world still is full of wonderful people!!!!!

Norma Kay Rowe
~
AMEN that all things are possible with GOD!!

Tawana Robertson Staten
~
I'm quoting Helen Keller again...."Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form and invincible host against difficulties."

Debbie Troquille
~
People tend to be thin skinned and hard hearted...getting feelings hurt easily and showing little empathy for others. Our goal should be to become thick skinned and tender hearted. Don't be so easily offended, and genuinely care about others. Jesus can teach us everything we need to know, about living like that!

Paul David Troquille
~~~~~
You can't put plastic in the dishwasher, metal in the microwave or utensils in the garbage disposal.

There are so many rules in the kitchen that it's just safer to eat out.
~~~~~
AskBob - - Bob Rankin - - Locate a Stolen Laptop or Smartphone

A reader asks: 'I travel often with a smartphone and a laptop, so I'm looking for something to help me locate these gadgets if they are ever lost or stolen. What do you recommend?' Read on for my tips on recovering (and preventing) a lost or stolen laptop, tablet, or smartphone... [http://askbobrankin.com/locate_a_stolen_laptop_or_smartphone.html?awt_l=HZr.N&awt_m=Jo1GCRSDh8P6SL]
~~~~~
ACC SmartBrief - - Senate holds committee hearing in response to recent Texas, La. Incidents

Senate Environment and Public Works Committee Chair Barbara Boxer, D-Calif., is calling on the Environmental Protection Agency to enact a 2002 proposal from the U.S. Chemical Safety Board requiring risk-assessment plans for plants storing reactive chemicals. During a Senate committee hearing Thursday, Boxer criticized the EPA's "lack of urgency" in moving forward with such regulations. CSB Chairman Rafael Moure-Eraso told senators that "ammonium nitrate fertilizer storage falls under a patchwork of U.S. safety standards and guidances, a patchwork that has many large holes."

Bloomberg Businessweek [http://www.businessweek.com/news/2013-06-27/boxer-demands-epa-adopt-2002-safety-proposals-after-texas-blast] (6/27), EENews.net (free content)/GreenWire [http://www.eenews.net/stories/1059983607] (6/27), Global Security Newswire [http://www.nti.org/gsn/article/citing-recent-tragedies-boxer-slams-epa-over-chemical-security-rules/] (6/27), The Hill/RegWatch blog [http://thehill.com/blogs/regwatch/energyenvironment/308203-safety-office-warns-qholesq-in-chemical-regulation-allowed-for-fertilizer-plant-explosion] (6/27)
~~~~~
DarynKagan.com - - It's a moment that will make dog lovers cry.

I have for you today a special moment for dog lovers, a new super hero, & a company that gives big time.

-Daryn.

Long Lost Dog Reunited With Forever Family #made me cry [http://darynkagan.com/DarynKagan.com_Animals.html]

Which Surprise Hero Stopped This Runaway City Bus? [http://darynkagan.com/Heroes.html]

TOMS Shoes Finds New Way To Give #Gift of Sight [http://darynkagan.com/Charity.html]

Know anyone who would love to get this newsletter and brighten their day? Sign them up here [http://darynkagan.us6.list-manage1.com/subscribe?u=8fc852c2879912f2f334bb010&id=54f94ca479].

Copyright © *|2013* *|Journeyist, Inc.|*, All rights reserved.
~~~~~
Rasmussen Reports - - What They Told Us: Reviewing Last Week's Key Polls

http://www.rasmussenreports.com/public_content/politics/weekly_updates/what_they_told_us_reviewing_last_week_s_key_polls2

What They Told Us: Reviewing Last Week's Key Polls

With the nation's 237th birthday just days away, it's good to remind ourselves that for most Americans, there's still no place like home. Read More

35% Think Obama Doing Good or Excellent Job with Economy

Daily Presidential Tracking Poll: 46% Approve of Obama's Job Performance

24% Say Their Home is Worth Less Than When They Bought It

70% Say Americans Have More Freedom Than People in Other Countries

To find out more about Scott Rasmussen, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2013 - - SCOTT RASMUSSEN - - DISTRIBUTED BY CREATORS.COM

See Other Political Commentaries. http://www.rasmussenreports.com/public_content/political_commentary

See Other Commentaries by Scott Rasmussen. http://www.rasmussenreports.com/public_content/political_commentary/commentary_by_scott_rasmussen
~~~~~
Car Talk - Parents, you are busted!

A new study says adults are 40% more likely to check their phones while driving than teens.

http://bit.ly/19Jrwbs
~
Introducing a new hire here at Car Talk Plaza. We're pleased to welcome our new Director of Off-Road Trials, Jocelyn M'bouti.

Turns out hindsight is 20/15. Date for mandatory back-up cameras changes...
~~~~~
Diabetes Life - - www.dlife.com - - The Power of Plating
By Elizabeth Keyser - Freelance Writer

That old saying, "we eat with our eyes" isn't completely true. Enjoying a meal uses all our senses – smell, taste, and touch as well as sight. But first appearances are important. And it's fun, and surprisingly easy, to add some "top chef" style to make you and your family smile at the dinner table. Diabetes super foods provide a big, colorful palette of vegetables, grains, nuts, and fruit to play with.

Plating techniques have a sneaky benefit: portion control. Beautiful plating is the opposite of heaping a lot of food on the plate. These are dishes that make you slow down and savor. Here's how to do it. [http://www.dlife.com/dlife_media/diabetes_slideshows/the-power-of-plating?utm_source=Foodstuff-20130625&utm_medium=eNewsletter&utm_content=Foodstuff-newsletter&utm_term=Focused&utm_campaign=dLife-eNewsletter&]
~~~~~
5 Things New Veterans Expect From All Candidates

1. Defend the New GI Bill

2. Employ the New Greatest Generation

3. Prevent suicide among troops and veterans

4. Build a truly 21st Century VA

5. Improve Care for Female Veterans

http://iava.org/blog/5-things-new-veterans-expect-all-candidates-2012
~~~~~
The latest from Michael Yon, the foremost “milnews” blogger on the web.
~
Greetings,

Please see this dispatch (http://www.michaelyon-online.com/decline-of-dustoff-a-symptom.htm) about Dustoff and sequestration. I wrote it this morning and it remains unedited though accurate. Please excuse any trivial errors. The details and substance all are on target.

Very Respectfully,
Michael Yon
Your Writer,

Please remember that this website accepts no advertisement and is dependent on your support.

PS Please sign up for my Twitter.com updates at "Michael_Yon" [http://twitter.com/Michael_Yon] (not Michael Yon).

http://www.facebook.com/#/MichaelYonFanPage?ref=sgm
~
www.michaelyon-online.com
~
Http://www.michaelyon_online.com/index.php
~~~~~
If you would like to encourage US Troops overseas, but are not sure just how to begin, visit www.anysoldier.com for ideas.
~~~~~
Please remember ... America is not at war. The U.S. Military is at war. America is at the MALL.
~~~~~
Army to Cut 12 Brigade Combat Teams by 2017, Odierno Says

By Claudette Roulo - - American Forces Press Service

WASHINGTON, June 25, 2013 – As part of its force restructuring due to the Budget Control Act of 2011, by the end of fiscal year 2017 the Army will reduce its number of brigade combat teams from 45 to 33, the Army’s chief of staff announced today.

In addition, Army Gen. Ray Odierno told reporters at a Pentagon news conference, the Army will shrink its active component end strength by 14 percent, or 80,000 soldiers, to 490,000, down from a wartime high of 570,000 troops.

The Army National Guard will cut 8,000 soldiers, he said, without making any force structure changes. And the Army Reserve will skip a planned force increase and maintain its current size of 205,000.

In all, 12 brigade combat teams will inactivate, the general said.

http://www.defense.gov/news/newsarticle.aspx?id=120361
~~~~~
http://www.shelfari.com
http://www.shelfari.com/bugsbleat/shelf
~~~~~
For the latest issue of "Da Bleat.", go to http://www.bugsbleat.blogspot.com.
Our photos are posted at http://www.bugsbleatphotos.blogspot.com.
~~~~~
Photos on the front of this week’s “Bleat” include - - Annette with her "Jimmy" Durante" eggplant from the Magnolia Farmer's Market, Josiah and Ethan enjoying an ice cream sandwich after toiling in the heat helping me set up a "soaker hose" to water these Lilies (notice the rare double flower?), Annette helps the gang sell BBQ to raise funds for our kids and youth going to summer camp, one of Annette's beautiful baskets of flowers, Josiah working to win free Angry Birds games.
~~~~~
Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
~~~~~
1962 vs. 2012 (a span of only 50 YEARS) This should be sent only to those whose level of maturity qualifies them to relate to it...

1962: Long hair
2012: Longing for hair

1962: KEG
2012: EKG

1962: Acid rock
2012: Acid reflux

1962: Moving to California because it's cool
2012: Moving to Arizona because it's warm

1962: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor
2012: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor

1962: Seeds and stems
2012: Roughage

1962: Hoping for a BMW
2012: Hoping for a BM

1962: Going to a new, hip joint
2012: Receiving a new hip joint

1962: Rolling Stones
2012: Kidney Stones

1962: Passing the drivers' test
2012: Passing the vision test

Thanks To Waneta
~~~~~
Break Point - - Marriage and Imagination - - After the Supreme Court
By: John Stonestreet | Published: June 28, 2013

Even after the Supreme Court’s rulings, can you imagine our culture returning to marriage as God designed it? I can.
~
On Wednesday, the Supreme Court overturned Section 3 of the Defense of Marriage Act, extending benefits to same-sex married couples.

What you’ve heard from the media, which isn’t actually the case, is that the Supreme Court struck down DOMA altogether. It didn’t. Other than Section 3, it still stands. So it could have been worse.

Still, the most troubling aspect of the DOMA case were the words chosen by Justice Kennedy in the majority opinion. Words like “disadvantage,” “stigma,” “degrade” and “humiliate” made his meaning plain. The only reason not to approve of same-sex marriage is hate or bigotry.

However, Kennedy also wrote that the regulation of marriage “is an area that has long been regarded as a virtually exclusive province of the States.” And in its ruling on California’s Proposition 8, the Court rejected the opportunity to deliver a sweeping national Roe-like decision on marriage.

So for now, the political definition of marriage is yet to be decided, as my guests on BreakPoint This Week from the Heritage Foundation and the Alliance Defending Freedom carefully explained. Come to BreakPoint.org to listen in.

But what do these decisions mean for us? As we often say around here, politics is downstream of culture. Given what the current cultural definition of marriage is, the political one will soon follow, unless it is challenged and redeemed. This is where the battle must be waged.

How we collectively imagine marriage as a culture is at the heart of this battle. As I wrote yesterday at National Review, Americans “cannot imagine marriage to be anything other than the government’s endorsement of romantic love. Even many opponents of same-sex marriage share this fundamentally wrong definition.”

Since the dawn of human culture, marriage has been primarily about the procreating and raising of children and the continuation of the family and society, not romantic love.

What’s more, I wrote, this re-definition of marriage “happened because of art, not arguments; because of imagination, not debate.” Ask someone, Christian or non-Christian, about what love is and their answer will largely be the product of what they’ve seen on television or in the movies. Boy meets girl, or other boy. They “fall in love” and what happens afterwards, whether marriage or cohabitation, is merely an expression of that “love.”

Ironically, even as the movies tell us, that kind of “love” is fickle. People “fall out of love” all the time, often for reasons they can’t even explain. There’s no way this kind of “love” will hold up under the weighty foundational role marriage must play for a society.

That’s why, as I wrote, I think “marriage in America has been on an unsustainable trajectory for quite some time.” The only way to correct that trajectory is to recapture the imaginations of our culture with a more robust and stable definition of the purpose and function of marriage. And folks, it’s not that we lack these arguments. It’s that they’re not being heard.

The task of recapturing imaginations belongs primarily to the intermediate institutions that most fundamentally shape our imaginations: the family and the Church.

Both must stop being squeezed out of territory that is rightfully theirs.

Given the current trajectory of marriage, I’d suggest national same-sex marriage is likely, but I certainly do not think it’s inevitable. The Court left room for citizens to work at the state and local levels. And this is good news, and it reflects the potential for the best kind of change: from the ground up, not the top down.

I’d love to hear your ideas on how to recapture the imagination of our culture, and how to re-build a culture of marriage. Come to BreakPoint.org, click on this commentary, and leave a comment. I’ll be looking forward to reading what you have to say.
Further Reading and Information

BP-Takeaction_62813Marriage and Imagination: After the Supreme Court - Next Steps

The debate over whether same-sex marriage is permissible or not does not end in the political arena. It is at its heart a cultural dilemma. The challenge before the Church is to engage the imagination to capture the hearts and minds of people today. Just as Martin Luther King Jr. provided a vision for what a society free from racism looked like in his “I Have a Dream” speech, we must be creative in invoking a vision that outlines a world where marriage is working properly.

French citizens have done just that, employing their artistic and intellectual creativity to stand for traditional marriage. American churches can do the same by participating in their own grassroots campaign. With that aim, BreakPoint would like to extend an invitation for you to contribute your ideas on how to engage the culture's imagination on this important issue. Share your comments and suggestions below. And click on the links for examples from history on engaging the imagination of a culture.
~
Articles:

What's Next for Marriage: National Review Symposium with John Stonestreet and others
National Review | June 27, 2013
http://www.nationalreview.com/article/352158/whats-next-marriage-nro-symposium/page/0/5

BreakPoint This Week: The Supremes and Marriage - What It All Means
John Stonestreet, Jennifer Marshall, Austin Nimmocks | BreakPoint This Week | June 28, 2013
http://www.breakpoint.org/features-columns/discourse/entry/15/22668

Why Some French Feminists are Opposed to Same-Sex Marriage
Ben Booker | BreakPoint blog | June 25, 2013
http://thepoint.breakpoint.org/tp-home/blog-archives/blog-archives/entry/4/22617

One for the 'Bet you didn't see that coming' file
Gina Dalfonzo | BreakPoint blog | January 14, 2013
http://www.breakpoint.org/tp-home/blog-archives/blog-archives/entry/4/21242

Why Marriage Is (and Isn't) the Point
Dale Keuhne | Qideas | June 27, 2013
http://www.qideas.org/blog/why-marriage-is-and-isnt-the-point.aspx

We are the Colorful Ones
Alan Eason | BreakPoint Blog | June 28, 2013
http://www.breakpoint.org/tp-home/blog-archives/blog-archives/entry/4/22669
~
Articles on historic examples:

The Spirit of Collaboration: Wilberforce and Clapham
Chuck Colson | BreakPoint.org | February 21, 2007
http://www.breakpoint.org/bpcommentaries/breakpoint-commentaries-archive/entry/13/10781

King's Dream: The Good Society and the Moral Law
Chuck Colson | BreakPoint.org | January 15, 2007
https://www.colsoncenter.org/commentaries/2762-kings-dream
~
Video-Song:

Keith Green, "Stained Glass"
Keith Green | "No Compromise" album | 1978
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qPhv6Ot4pJE
~
Copyright © 2013 Colson Center. All Rights Reserved
~~~~~
Residents of Columbia County, Arkansas are represented in Congress by:
~
Senator John Boozman (R_ AR)
1 Russell Courtyard
Washington DC, 20510
Phone: 202-224-4843
http://boozman.senate.gov/
~
Senator Mark Pryor (D_ AR)
Phone 202_224_2353
FAX 202_228_0908
http://pryor.senate.gov/
~
Representative Tom Cotton (R )
Phone 202_225_3772
FAX 202_225_1314
http://cotton.house.gov/

Other states congresspersons can be found at: [http://www.visi.com/juan/congress/]

Representative Tom Cotton had a news release this week inviting constituents visiting DC to contact hi office for a staff-led tour of the Capitol! https://cotton.house.gov/services/tours-and-tickets

All tickets are provided to my constituents on a first-come, first-served basis. Due to the large number of visitors, please request them as early as possible in order to maximize your chances.
~~~~~
THOUGHT OF THE DAY:

"There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it." - Oscar Wilde

"Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame." - Benjamin Franklin

"My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me." - Jim Valvano

"Never mistake motion for action." - Ernest Hemingway

"In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take." - Adlai Stevenson

"Everything has been figured out, except how to live." - Jean-Paul Sartre

"Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome." - Isaac Asimov

"A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both." - Dwight D. Eisenhower

"Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has no heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains." - Sir Winston Churchill

"Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance." - Will Durant

"Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right." - Henry Ford

"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." - Albert Einstein

"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." - Thomas Alva Edison

"The fundamental cause of trouble in the world is that the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt." - Bertrand Russell

"A library outranks any other one thing a community can do to benefit its people. It is a never failing spring in the desert." - Andrew Carnegie
~~~~~
Breaking Christian News

Bono Speaks with Focus on the Family on his Faith in Jesus Christ and How it Motivates Him
Aimee Herd (Jun 25, 2013)

"Bono clearly accepts Jesus as Lord. I wasn't prepared for his quickness in inserting Scripture into the dialogue. I celebrate with [Bono and wife Ali] that they have four children and have been married 30 years. Not everyone in the Christian community can say that." -Jim Daly, Focus on the Family

http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=11929
~
Nik Wallenda's Historic Skywire Walk across Grand Canyon Amazing on Several Levels
Aimee Herd-Commentary (Jun 24, 2013)

With nearly every step, Nik is fervently praying, live on TV beamed all around the world and online to millions hanging on every inch of progress.

http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=11907

editor@breakingchristiannews.com
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
GCF: If this was forwarded to you, please consider your own subscription to Good Clean Fun. It's free! Just send an email to: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Spelling Words

My husband and I often spell words so that our small children won't understand what we're saying. I didn't realize what a habit this had become until one day when my husband and I were in the grocery store at the soup aisle.

An aggressive young woman banged into our cart, then nudged me over, blocking my access to the soup.

Annoyed, I looked at my husband and said, "Boy, is she r-u-d-e!"

"Yeah," he replied, "and I'll bet she can s-p-e-l-l."
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Setting Goals

During the last session of our teaching workshop, participants were asked to state their personal goals for the immediate future.

One teacher vowed to update photo albums, another to lose weight. The goal that got the most response, however, was given by a slightly out-of-shape kindergarten teacher.

"I resolve to exercise until I can complete a 20-minute workout in less than an hour," she said.
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Work Injury

One of our regular patrons, a truck driver, entered the cafe where I worked and hobbled painfully over to a table.

"What happened?" I asked.

"I hurt my back at work," he explained with a grimace.

"Gee, I thought those rigs were equipped with cushioned seats, air springs and swivel controls," I said.

"The seats are great," he confirmed. "It's the ground that hurts ... I fell out of my truck."
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Employment Form

My sense of humor always gets me into trouble, but I just can't help it.

Applying for a job one time, the employment form clearly said: "Age of Father, if living" and the same query for my Mother.

I put down the figures 119 and 117 in the spaces provided, and the interviewer asked if my parents were truly that old.

I replied, "No, but they would be if they were still living."
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Legal Description

I am a prosecuting attorney in a small Mississippi town and will admit to having a few extra pounds on me. Not long ago, I was questioning a witness in an armed robbery case.

I asked, "Would you describe the person you saw?"

The witness replied, "He was kind of short and stout."

"You mean short and stout like me?" I asked.

"Oh, no," the witness said. "He wasn't that fat."
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Gas Mileage

A man was asked about the gas mileage he got on his new car.

He said he thought he got about four miles to the gallon, while his teenage son got the other thirty.
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: College

One man was talking to another at the store.

He asked, "So where is that boy of yours?"

"Josh is in college," the second man replied.

"What's he taking?"

The second man grimaced, "Every cent I have."
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: No Power

A co-worker at my office called Tech Support with an improbable story: She said she dropped her mouse and her PC shut down.

The tech made the trip to her desk. No question, her computer is off.
And when he punches the PC's power switch to restart it, nothing happens.

He asked her where she dropped her mouse. She replied, "Behind the desk."

Sure enough, she had managed to hit the on/off switch on the power strip. The tech told her, "Good shot."
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Crux of the Matter

As a young lawyer working on my first big case, I was sitting in Federal District Court watching a prominent attorney question a witness. The attorney was trying, unsuccessfully, to elicit certain information.

Finally the judge turned to the witness and asked a question that prompted the appropriate response.

"Thank you, your honor," the attorney said. "How is it that you were able to get to the crux of the matter with one question after I had tried three times?"

"Easy," replied the judge. "I'm not paid by the hour."

_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Purchase

One evening a teenage daughter and her mother were out shopping when they stopped to make a purchase.

The young girl greeted the cashier with only a "Hi," then proceeded to dig nervously in her wallet. She was having obvious trouble counting out the correct bills and change. But rather than help, the cashier simply stood and watched while she fumbled and mumbled her way to the correct amount.

Finally, the transaction was completed.

As they were walking to the car, the teenager turned to her mother and said, "That was my math tutor."
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Civilian Clothes

My friend received a package from the Navy containing the civilian clothes her son was wearing when he left for boot camp. Not wanting to open the box, she put it away. This amused her husband, who accused her of being a sentimental old fool.

"I'm not sentimental," she shot back. "I'm realistic. His shoes, socks and underwear have been inside that box for two weeks, and I'm not going to be the one to open it!"
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Company Policy

Dress Code - It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

Sick Days - We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Personal Days - Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year.
They are called Saturday & Sunday.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation, and input should be directed elsewhere.
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Green Thumb

I don't have much of a green thumb, but I like to have a few plants in my house.

One day when my mother was over to babysit the children, I remarked that one of the plants in my window was looking poorly and asked if she could try to fix it while I was gone.

When I returned, to my surprise, the plant looked beautiful and full.
"What did you do?" I asked.

Her reply: "I turned it around."
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Vision

A mother of two teenage boys was constantly being asked to look for things that they couldn't find. Most of the time these items were directly in front of them. Seeing her frustration over this when it happened yet again, one of her sons remarked: "It's not my fault, Mom. I don't have parental vision."
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Lawyer and Witness

A witness to an automobile accident was testifying. The lawyer asked him, "Did you actually see the accident?"

The witness: "Yes, sir."

The lawyer: "How far away were you when the accident happened?"

The witness: "Thirty-one feet, six and one quarter inches."

The lawyer (thinking he'd trap the witness): "Well, sir, will you tell the jury how you knew it was exactly that distance?"

The witness: "Because when the accident happened I took out a tape and measured it. I knew some lawyer would ask me that question."
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Washing Machine Repair

The husband was constantly working on their defective washing machine, and his language was often colorful. One day the daughter returned home from a movie, and the parents asked if she had learned anything from it.

"Only a lot of four-letter words," she told them, "that until now I always thought were parts of the washing machine."
_ _______________________________ _
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_||_/ )___________________( \_||_/ )___________________( \_||_/ )___________________( \_||_/ )___________________( \_||_/ )___________________( \_||_/ )___________________( \_||_/ )___________________( \_||_/ )___________________( \_||_/ )___________________( \_||_/ )___________________( \_||_/ )___________________( \_||_/ )___________________( \_||_/ )___________________( \_||_/ )___________________( \_||_/ )___________________( \_||_/ )___________________( \_||_/ )___________________( \_||_/ )___________________( \_||_/ )___________________( \_||_/ )___________________( \_|<> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Doctors at a hospital in Brooklyn, New York have gone on strike. Hospital officials say they will find out what the doctors' demands are as soon as they can get a pharmacist over there to read the picket signs!
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Each year the staff at Beloit College in Wisconsin puts together a list to try to give the faculty a sense of the mindset of this year's incoming freshmen. Here's this year's list:

The people who are starting college this fall across the nation were born in 1993!

They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up.

Their lifetime has always included AIDS.

Bottle caps have always been childproof and plastic.

The CD was introduced 3 years before they were born.

They have always had an answering machine..

They have always had cable.

They cannot fathom not having a remote control.

Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show.

Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave.

They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.

They can't imagine what hard contact lenses are.

They don't know who Mork was or where he was from.

They never heard:

"Where's the Beef?",

"I'd walk a mile for a Camel", or

"De plane, Boss, de plane.."

They do not care who shot J.R. nor do they have any idea who J. R. even is.

Mc Donald's never came in Styrofoam containers.

They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter.

Thanks to Waneta
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
A pastor goes to the dentist for a new set of false teeth.

The first Sunday after he gets these teeth, he talks for only eight minutes. The second Sunday, he talks for only ten minutes. The following Sunday, he talks for 2 hours and 48 minutes.

The Deacons have to mob him to get him down from the pulpit, and they ask him what happened.

Once he quit preaching, the pastor explained:

The first Sunday his gums hurt so bad he couldn't talk for more than 8 minutes.

The second Sunday his gums hurt too much to talk for more than 10 minutes.

But, the third Sunday, he accidentally put his wife's teeth in … instead of his own.
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
I resemble this one.
~
The husband had an annoying habit of searching through the refrigerator for a snack, usually while his wife was preparing a meal.

Once, after he had gone through this routine for the third time in as many minutes, she snapped, "Nothing's any different than it was a minute ago."

"I know that," he assured her. "It's just that this time I've lowered my standards."
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Two medical residents were invited to a costume party after their shift ended. They stopped at the Army/Navy store to see if they could find costumes but only had enough money to buy one pair of fatigues.

But that was okay. One wore the top half and one wore the bottom half ... they went as an upper and lower GI.
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
The six-year-old son begged his parents for a pet, and they told him he could have a goldfish. They noticed that the local pet shop was having a sale on goldfish kits, which included the fish, fishbowl, food and colored stones for the bowl's bottom.

When the mother said that they would be buying him a goldfish kit, he looked surprised.

"You mean," he said, "I have to put together my own fish?"
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
True Boat Name Story

My father-in-law bought a new boat and asked his wife what he should name it. She said, "Name it after me." The next time she saw the boat, it had "After Me" on the back of it.

Received from Perce Cox.

(_:][:_)

Estate Planning

Tom was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business. When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune once his sickly father died, he decided he needed a wife with which to share his fortune.

One evening at an investment meeting, he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away.

"I may look like just an ordinary man," he said to her, "but in just a few years, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars."

Impressed, the woman obtained his business card.

Three days later, she became his stepmother.

Women are so much better at estate planning than men.

Received from Doc's Daily Chuckle.

(_:][:_)

A man is lying on the operating table, about to be operated on by his son, the surgeon.

The father says, "Son, think of it this way: If anything happens to me, your mother is coming to live with you."

Received from Irene A. Mystery.

(_:][:_)

Bungee Jumping

Alice and Frank are bungee-jumping one day. Alice says to Frank, "You know, we could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Mexico."

Frank thinks this is a great idea. So they pool their money and buy everything they'll need: a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc.

They travel to Mexico and begin to set up on a square in a small town.

As they are constructing the tower, a crowd begins to assemble. Slowly, more and more people gather to watch them at work.

When they finish, there's such a crowd they think it would be a good idea to give a demonstration.

So, Alice jumps. She bounces at the end of the cord, but when she comes back up, Frank notices that she has a few cuts and scratches.

Unfortunately, Frank isn't able to catch her and she falls again, bounces, and comes back up again. This time, she is bruised and bleeding.

Again, Frank misses her. Alice falls again and bounces back up. This time she comes back pretty messed up; she has a couple of broken bones and is almost unconscious.

Luckily, Frank finally catches her this time and says, "What happened? Was the cord too long?"

Barely able to speak, Alice gasps, "No, the bungee cord was fine; it was the crowd. What in the world is a piƱata?"

Received from Bob Lewis.

(_:][:_)

The Lecture

An elderly man is stopped by the police around 1 a.m. and is asked where he is going at that time of night.

The man replies, "I am going to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body."

The officer then asks, "Really? Who is giving that lecture at this time of night?"

The man replies, "My wife."

Received from TwoTimesAr.

(_:][:_)

Taxes Defined

A fine is a tax for doing something wrong.

A tax is a fine for doing something right.

Received from ArcaMax Jokes.

(_:][:_)

Paying Taxes

A nervous taxpayer was unhappily conversing with the IRS auditor who had come to review his records. At one point the auditor exclaimed, "We feel it is a great privilege to be allowed to live and work in the USA. As a citizen you have an obligation to pay taxes, and we expect you to eagerly pay them with a smile."

"Thank God," returned the taxpayer. "I thought you were going to want cash."

Received from Doc's Daily Chuckle.

(_:][:_)

Threatening Letters

The fellow stormed into the postmaster's office in a fury. "I've been getting threatening letters in the mail for months and I want them stopped."

"Of course," said the postmaster. "Sending threatening letters through the mail is a federal offense. Do you know who's sending them?"

"Yes," shouted the man. "It's those idiots down at the Internal Revenue Service."

Received from FranCMT2.

(_:][:_)

Groaner: The Cocktail

A man goes into a bar very thirsty. He sits down waiting for the bartender to see him. The man next to him calls for the bartender saying, "I'll have another Waterloo."

The bartender gives him a tall ice cold drink, then asks the newcomer what he would like to drink. Wanting to try this new drink he says, "I'll have a Waterloo, too."

The bartender gives him a tall ice-cold drink.

He takes a big drink and says, "HEY! This isn't any good. It tastes just like water!"

The man next to him looks at the bartender and says, "Well, it is water ... right, Lou?

(from Terry Galan)

Received from Stan Kegel.

(_:][:_)

Rabbits

The first grade teacher. Miss Figpot asked Little Johnnie, "Johnnie if I gave you two rabbits and then two more rabbits and then two more rabbits, how many would you have?"

Johnnie replied, "Seven rabbits, Miss Figpot."

The teacher asked again, "Listen Johnnie, If I gave you two rabbits, plus two more rabbits, plus two more rabbits, how many rabbits would you have altogether?"

Johnnie smiled, "That's easy, Teacher, I would have seven."

"Ok Johnnie," Miss Figpot said. "Let's try it a different way. If I gave you two cans of Pepsi, plus two more cans of Pepsi, plus two more cans of Pepsi. How many cans of Pepsi would you have?"

"Six cans." Johnnie answered.

"OK," said the teacher. "Now think of that with this
question. If I gave you two rabbits, then two more rabbits, then two more rabbits how many would you have?"

"Seven, Teacher." Johnnie replied.

Exasperated, Miss Figpot asked, "Why seven?"

Johnnie replied, "Because I already have one rabbit at home!"

Received from Leonard Olds.

(_:][:_)

Military

One reason the Military Services have trouble operating jointly is that they don't speak the same language. For example, if you told Navy personnel to "secure a building," they would turn off the lights and lock the doors. The Army would occupy the building so no one could enter. Marines would assault the building, capture it, and defend it with suppressive fire and close combat. The Air Force, on the other hand, would take out a three year lease with an option to buy.

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

(_:][:_)

Instructor: "Isn't it remarkable how quickly the kids learn to drive the car?"

Parent: "Yes, especially considering how slowly they catch on to running the lawnmower and vacuum cleaner."

(_:][:_)

Fishing

MacAndrews was visiting his Irish cousin, O'Bannon. While there he decided to do a bit of fishing. As he sat there one afternoon, his cousin walked by.

"What are ye doing?" asked O'Bannon.

"Fishin'," said MacAndrews.

"Caught anything?"

"Ach, nae a bite,"

"What are ye usin' fer bait?"

"Worms."

"Let me see it," said O'Bannon.

MacAndrews lifted the line from the water and handed it to his cousin.

O'Bannon took out his flask of potcheen and dipped the worm in it. He handed it back to MacAndrews, who cast his line once more. As soon as the worm hit the water, his rod bent over double, the line screaming out.

"Have ye got a bite?" asked O'Bannon.

"No!" shouted MacAndrews, fighting with the rod, "The worm's got a salmon by the throat!"

Received from Leonard Olds.

(_:][:_)

Groaner: The Census

The census taker knocked on the lady's door. She answered all his questions except one: she refused to tell him her age.

"But everyone tells their age to the census taker," he said.

"Did Miss Maisy Hill and Miss Daisy Hill tell you their ages?" she asked.

"Certainly," he replied.

"Well, I'm the same age as they are," she snapped.

The census taker simply wrote on the form, "As old as the Hills."

Received from Stan Kegel.

(_:][:_)

Explanations of Instructions

What it says: "Batteries not included"

What it means: "Batteries do not come with this product, and you're going to have to buy them yourself. Moreover, it uses unique batteries that you won't find anywhere but a specialty store, where you'll pay twice as much for them."
_____________________________

What it says: "Some restrictions apply"

What it means: "Somehow, some way, we'll find a way to exclude you."
_____________________________

What it says: "May cause drowsiness"

What it means: "Expect a sudden bout with narcolepsy while you're driving to work."
_____________________________

What it says: "Some assembly required"

What it means: "Take the day off and borrow your neighbor's 2,000-piece tool kit. Don't make any other plans for the day."

Received from FranCMT2.

(_:][:_)

The Golfing Preacher

There was this preacher who was an avid golfer. Every chance he could get, he could be found on the golf course swinging away. It was an obsession.

One Sunday was a picture perfect day for golfing. The sun was shining, no clouds in the sky, and the temperature was just right. The preacher was in a quandary as to what to do ... play golf or give the Sunday service. Shortly, the urge to play golf overcame him. He called an assistant, told him he was sick and asked the assistant to take care of the Sunday church service for him. He packed the car up and drove three hours to a golf course where no one would recognize him. Happily, he began to play the course.

An angel up above was watching the preacher and was quite perturbed.

He went to God and said, "Look at the preacher. He should be punished for what he is doing." God nodded in agreement.

The preacher teed up on the first hole. He swung at the ball and hit a perfect drive, straight as an arrow, four-hundred yards right to the green, where it gently rolled into the cup (as they say in basketball, "nothing but net"). A picture perfect hole-in-one. He was amazed and excited.

The angel was a little shocked. He turned to God and said, "Begging Your pardon, but I thought you were going to punish him."

God smiled. "I did. Think about it -- who can he tell?"

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

(_:][:_)
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Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Column - - http://www.madkane.com/humor_blog/
Taking The Plunge (Limerick)
June 20th, 2013
Today on Facebook, someone posted a photo of a short, female subway rider using a plunger on the train ceiling, so she could remain standing without losing her balance. Since I too am a short, subway-challenged woman, I was inspired to write this limerick:
Taking The Plunge (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I am thinking of taking the plunge:
Subway plungers might help prevent lunge
And thusly forestall
A terrible fall.
But I need one not covered in grunge.
© Madeleine Begun Kane. All Rights Reserved.
http://www.madkane.com/
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At one Army base, the annual trip to the rifle range had been canceled for the second year in a row, but the semi-annual physical fitness test was still on as planned.

One soldier mused, "Does it bother anyone else that the Army doesn't seem to care how well we can shoot, but they are extremely interested in how fast we can run?"
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"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." __ Franklin D. Roosevelt
"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. _ _ George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" _ _ Queen E. Watson
“A political class of Republicans and Democrats that look after themselves, not the Nation. A media hostile to the very precepts of this nation. A generation of Americans who see morals as vices, and are ignorant of America's Actual History.”
"The things that will destroy America are prosperity-at-any-price, peace-at-any-price, safety-first instead of duty-first, the love of soft living, and the get-rich-quick theory of life." - - Theodore Roosevelt
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Emergency Phone Number 911
(Fire, Police, Ambulance, Sheriff, etc. )
Central Dispatch 234_5655
(Non _ Emergency Number)
Direct Numbers
Ambulance _ 234_7371 (24 Hour)
Jail _ 234_5331 (24 Hour)
Poison Control _ 800_222_1222 (24 Hour)
http://www. aapcc. org/
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Interested in getting in touch with the Banner_News through e_mail? editor@bannernews.net For the editor, news@bannernews.net For news and sports items, Coming Events, Diary, Church News, school and civic events. [http://www.bannernews.net/]
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"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." __ "Bug"
"I read the end of the book. We win!" __ "Bug"
"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." __ "Bug"
"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." _ _ "Bug"
"It's no big deal doing what God tells you to do. A big deal would be NOT doing what God tells you to do. Just ask Jonah." _ _ Paul Troquille
“Nam et ipsa scientia potestas est.” Knowledge is power. _ Francis Bacon
"The problem is here and now. The time for talk is past. The time for action is now."
Comments on the first Earth Day _ James F. McClellan via John "Fuzzy" Thurman
~~~~~
Hope you enjoy the newsletter.
Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" __"Bug"
God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
God is Good and Faithful CU 73 IC JFM CSP NREMT_I KC5HII

P. S. If you'd like to be added to the distribution, just drop us E_mail at kc5hii@suddenlink.net
. We offer "Da Bleat" as text, a "Blog" and as a newsletter with pictures in Word and PDF format. The latest issue is usually updated sometime Saturday. For the latest issue, go to http://www.bugsbleat.blogspot.com. We also have a site [http://bugsbleatphotos.blogspot.com/] where we post photos that I like.
We appreciate your encouragement. We also appreciate your communication when you desire to be taken off our mail list. If you are on this mail list by mistake or do not wish to receive "Da Bleat," please reply back and tell us to discontinue service to you.
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Saturday, June 15, 2013

Bug's Bleat - - GCF: American Idol


My dad, James Curtis McClellan about 1949.






















"Bug Eaters" Da Boys ate Crickets and Mealy Worms at LoGoLy Day Camp.


















LifeNet preparing to transport a patient from MRMC.













This years "Flower Bed" in the Magnolia Gardens.



















Annette studying for her sermon at Wade Prison Monday.



















Shelling fresh Pinto Beans.



















James Watson (Tamey) Duke with David on the steam engine that once set in the park east of Lewisville.


















Volume 15, Issue 24 Friday, June 14, 2013

Hello ALL,

It’s been a GREAT week with our two youngest grandsons here to attend LoGoLy State Park Day Camp [http://www.arkansasstateparks.com/events/discovery-day-camp-session-ii-85759/#.UbuKr9jp-BI]. It’s a change of our routine (i.e. Up at the crack of mid morning, preparing breakfast for two little locust (well, having McDonald’s prepare it when we oversleep.) Getting them to McNeil with their lunches and binoculars and “Willies” (to wear in the mud), etc.) But, it’s worth it having two fantastic kids around the house.
Now, if we can just survive until their dad gets here to pick them up … then it will be nap time till about Sunday morning.
~~~~~
Earlier I referred to Da Boys as being locust. Knowing this description to be relatively accurate, we prepared for their visit by stocking extra food for them. We brought in enough food to feed the four of us for the entire week and not require that we eat out (except when we overslept and had to go by McDonalds for breakfast.)

As it turned out, we had a Drs Appointment in Little Rock Monday so Jimmy took them to LoGoLy that day and dropped them off again at the park Tuesday morning. We picked them up from the park that afternoon, so they didn’t come over till Tuesday afternoon. As a consequence we didn’t have them eating at our home as many days as we’d planned for.

Grandparent will completely understand the following true statement.

We had to go back to the grocery store after the boys left for the Park Wednesday morning, because our cupboards were bare.
~~~~~
When Annette and I got married, I was surprised that “our” grocery bill was about 400% higher than “my” grocery bill had been. This was especially puzzling since we were in that first phase of marriage where you don’t want to be caught using the bathroom, much less eating a lot. In fact, Annette would let me eat as much as I desired each evening. (At least she did until she realized that she was facing death by starvation unless she started getting some food before I cleaned out every food container on the table.)

So, I couldn’t figure out why we were spending so much money on groceries since we were basically eating the same types of meals that I had been preparing as a bachelor (with the exception that Annette did cook “cleaner” than I did. For instance, she didn’t throw spaghetti on the wall to see if it was done.) Finally, we started spending less at the grocery store every two weeks. And I got up the courage to ask Annette why we’d been spending so much previously. She explained that her mother had never let her cook and the only way she knew to learn was “trial and error.” Her method consisted of cooking meals until she had one that was eatable. The previous attempts each day ended up in the apartment trash bin.

Hindsight being 20/20, maybe it would have been cheaper to enroll her in cooking school. On the other hand, I doubt any regular school I could have afforded could have turned out a cook as accomplished as her trial and error method did.
~~~~~
Speaking of seeing the doctor Monday, got a pretty good report from Dr. Mendelsohn. My "weird" blood seems to be moving toward more normal readings for the first time since he started treating me in 1987. It's still weird, just not as much so. He thinks I may be growing a replacement spleen. It's unusual but he's seen it in a few cases and he told me; "you're just weird enough to be doing it." Also ... since I'm no longer having to take EPO, I'm no longer ineligible for the Olympics (because I was taking a banned performance enhancing drug.) :-) God Is Good.
~~~~~
Cheap Chinese Cocoanuts - - This week we decided to expand our pantry with some Coconut Milk. Annette picked up a couple of cans at Sam’s and “we” tried some. Annette went first and experimented with a little Coconut milk “straight up.” She commented that it wasn’t exactly a pleasant experience. So, I decided to put a little in my coffee. … The result was, well, less than satisfying.

So, the coconut milk sat in the frig for a day or so when Jimmy dropped the boys off for a visit. We were having a good time when Vanessa came by to pick them up. But first, she went into the “office” to visit with her mother. While there, she called for the boys to please bring her a glass of milk.

Now Vanessa loves Dairy and usually has a Big Tea Glass full of cold milk when she partakes.

A light went off in the prank section of my brain and I told Josiah and Ethan that we had some “special” milk for their mom. I got out the jar of coconut milk, filled up a glass and gave it to Josiah for delivery to his mom.

By this time, both boys had tumbled to the fact that a prank of some type was in the works. Josiah did a magnificent job of delivering the glass to his mom with a straight face while Ethan and I huddled in the kitchen, waiting.

We didn’t have to wait long. Vanessa took a very healthy drink of what she thought was regular skim milk and had swallowed a significant amount before realizing that something was wrong, very wrong. Her exclamations, sputtering and general distress resulted in loud laughs from the boys who immediately ratted me out as the creator of this prank.
~
When I related this story to Keith Burton, I also commented that it was a mystery to me how folks could brag about Coconut milk when it’s taste was so far from what we classified as good. He told me that fresh coconut milk was good and the problem with this product was probably due to it being from “Cheap Chinese Coconuts.” He’s probably right.
~~~~~
This week I heard that it’s everyone’s “right” to have dental and health insurance. I wish we’d known that when we were first married. That was back in the day that we had to save up for a year to go to the drive-in movie on “Dollar Night.”

When Annette found out she was pregnant with Vanessa (though in those days you didn’t know the sex or much else about the baby until they were born,) we had insurance but it didn’t cover pregnancy (such coverage would have more than doubled our monthly premiums.) So … she cut a deal with Dr. Ruff to “Lay Away” this pregnancy. In exchange for regular weekly payments to the doctor and hospital we got Annette’s regular “Prenatal” exams as well as the hospital delivery.

Of course, her “deal” only covered routine pregnancy costs. Any complications or extras would be billed to us separately.

So you can understand how nervous I was getting after she’d been in hard labor, at the hospital for over 20 hours. If she went over a day in the labor room, we’d be billed for the second day.

Fortunately, in spite of our new baby being a “breech” delivery, she delivered Vanessa Anne McClellan 23 hours and 45 minutes after being admitted. At least that’s what they told me. I had passed out at about the 23 hour and 35 minute mark, as they were moving her into the delivery room.
~~~~~
I was fortunate to have a father, a step father, numerous uncles (and cousins) and our Heavenly Father to raise me. My father, James Curtis McClellan, worked in the oil field seven days a week but still found time to show his love to me. Even though he died when I was only four, I have several memories:
Sitting on the friendly bar counter eating peanuts while my dad had a beer (and had the riot act read to him when my mom found out he’d taken her son to a “den of inequity.”)
Standing on a hill east of where big green earth movers were building the earthen dam to form Lake Earling.
Playing in the cab of a road grader that was parked in a field (the current location of the Taylor Post office) across the street from our house in Taylor.
Waiting in the car with my mom for my dad to shut the rig down so I could scurry up the tall stair case to get my reward (a dollar) for daring to challenge the big noisy beast that was a hard working oil drilling rig.
Sitting in my dad’s lap, watching the late movie on Chanel 12 (one of the two channels we got at that time.)
Waking up in my bed in Taylor after going to sleep on a pallet at my Aunt Jerry and Uncle Paul’s house. My dad had missed me and driven to Bussey to get me in the middle of the night.
~
My stepdad, James Watson Duke” also worked seven days a week, in the Chatterbox restaurant where he fed many of the oil field workers.
His generosity to me began when my mother was working for him and we still lived with my grandmother in Taylor.
He made a sizable donation to the Boys Club so I could become a charter member even though I didn’t live in Magnolia.
He also got me a library card at the Magnolia Library so I could get books there instead of waiting on the red and white bookmobile to come to Taylor.
He taught me to cook a hamburger (don’t squeeze the meat and only flip it once and, of course, toast the bun on the grill. Take the meat and the bun off at the same time and put the cheese on the meat to let it melt “naturally.”)
He taught me to serve the public efficiently with a smile and without complaint unless their sin was too great and to then prosecute them to the fullest extent of the law.
He introduced me to the Texas Eagle, the Missouri Pacific passenger train running from San Antonio to Chicago which we rode to St. Louis every year to see the Cardinals play and to Chicago and New York to National Restaurant Shows when he was a vice-president of that association.
While traveling, he took us to the best restaurants (where we all had to order something different so we could all taste a wide range of recipes and that’s the reason to this day I break out in a cold sweat if any two people in my party order the same thing.)
He took us to Broadway shows (i.e. Destry Rides Again, Camelot, Sound of Music, South Pacific, The Music Man, etc.)
And, when Annette and I married, he included my family in his care for me.
~~~~~
In spite of what we think, we are really never truly alone. Most of us have family, friends, co workers, neighbors, etc. who actually do care about us. I know it’s not “in vogue” but it truly does take a village to raise a child. And it takes a village to maintain a life, even after we’re grown. We’re human and American and that means that we instinctively look out for each other.

Of course, I don’t have any empirical facts for this. Just my own observations and experiences. A couple stand out;

After my dad passed away, my mother became the “Do Gooder” of Taylor, Arkansas. If someone needed to be taken to the hospital, she loaded them up and we took them. If someone didn’t come home, we went to Springhill, found them, sobered them up (she held the coffee and I held the tomato juice) and brought them home.

And growing up on Hearn Street in Taylor, my cousins and I were cared for by our parents, Aunts, Uncles, neighbors, the local shop keepers, police, etc. In fact, years later my cousin Polly would share just how secure she felt growing up cared for by the community. Some coworkers were discussing how emotionally hard and psychologically scarring their child hoods had been. When they looked to Polly to commensurate with them she had to say that growing up on Hearn Street in Taylor, AR she never knew of abuse or fear.

We were watching an Anthology “Garrison Keillor: The Man on the Radio in the Red Shoes” today. I really like “A Prairie Home Companion” and I like Garrison Keillor. Even though he’s what us fundamentalist conservatives call a “Flaming Liberal.” I wanted to share a bit of one of his monologs that I believe explains why most of us have more in common than we have in difference.
~
“… the public school was one of those places. In Anoka, Minnesota some children wound up going to Dartmouth or Stanford or Carlton or Princeton but they spent their formative years in the public schools with the children of farmers, and carpenters and cops and firemen. They all rode together on the big yellow school bus and they cheered for the teams and ate macaroni and cheese in the lunchroom, a valuable experience that gives you a tribal feeling.

Minnesota is a place where if you ask an audience to stand up and sing, they’re gonna do it. They were brought up to. Like the Star Spangled Banner, which like our system of government, is much maligned and badly abused but if you put it in the right key, which is the key of G, it works pretty well and it’s very moving.

People get so much of their politics listening to other people rant and rave on the radio, sitting alone in their car or reading somebody’s blog, and the Star Spangled Banner is one of those rare moments when we sing a song together, which means more for all of us joining in. We share a common tongue and a fondness for jokes, a love of American landscape and we are a union.”
~~~~~
A friend of ours asked; “Somebody answer my question, please....Why would Edward Snowden have to stand trial for exposing "illegal" acts done to American citizens, by our government?”

I have VERY strong mixed feelings. On the one hand, I'm glad that this program (which we all assumed the NSA was doing) was publicly "called out." On the other hand, this man set himself up as judge, jury, etc. and opened up our intelligence operations to the world. What really disturbs me is that he "fled" to China to escape prosecution. Do the Chinese now have everything he had about our intelligence capabilities? They say not. Who believes that?????

HWP commented: “I can agree with you James, this is a very questionable area and We The People need a long discussion and debate regarding this issue. (We actually should've had it a long time ago. In our gut we've known it had to be going on, just didn't want to believe it!)”

I think Benjamin Franklin said it best: "Those who would give up Essential Liberty to purchase a little Temporary Safety deserve neither Liberty nor Safety."
~
I've felt this way since the Uniting (and) Strengthening America (by) Providing Appropriate Tools Required (to) Intercept (and) Obstruct Terrorism Act of 2001 was passed.
~~~~~

Listen to the oppressed crowd.

Enjoy their joy.

Those were the days before that Tuesday morning.

Those were the days before those neocon lies.

Those were the days before Barack Obama droned civilians to death with his Terror Tuesday meetings.

Those were the days when drones were male honey bees.

Listen to the crowd.

"Born in the U.S.A."

Behind the Berlin Wall.

Victims challenging the communist security police officers spying on their prey.

"Born in the U.S.A!"

Back then, America was the spiritual beacon of hope, instead of the marauding crusader of change she is in our post-9/11 world.

Those were the days.

And, now, somewhere out there, a Russian, French, Indian, Japanese, South Korea, Latin American, Australian, or maybe even a North Korean young artist, is composing the next "Born in the U.S.A."

But will he or she be as welcome in America to perform as Bruce Springsteen was welcome behind the Berlin Wall in 1988? ...

[http://open.salon.com/blog/danielkronlid/2013/06/14/does_that_star-spangled_banner_still_wave]
~~~~~
“When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you until it seems that you cannot hold on for a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time when the tide will turn.” - Harriet Beecher Stowe, born June 14, 1811
~
Today in History, Jun 14,

1642 - 1st compulsory education law in America passed by Massachusetts

1775 - US Army founded

1777: Congress adopts the Stars and Stripes replacing Grand Union flag

1917 – 1st German air attack on England, 100+ killed in East-London

1940 - Auschwitz concentration camp opens (3 million killed there)

1942 - Anne Frank begins her diary

1944 - 1st B-29 raid against mainland Japan

1951 - 1st commercial computer, UNIVAC 1, enters service at Census Bureau

1954 - Pres Eisenhower signs order adding words "under God" to the Pledge

1959 – Disneyland Monorail System, the first daily operating monorail system in the Western Hemisphere, opens to the public in Anaheim, California.

1963 - Valery Bykovsky in Vostok 5 orbits earth 81 times in 5 days

1984 - Southern Baptist convention decide on no women clergy members

2012 - The world's first stem-cell assisted vein transplant is undertaken by Swedish doctors on a 10 year old girl

~~~~~
Arkansas Governor Mike Beebe has ordered that the United States and Arkansas flags be flown at half-staff Saturday, June 15, to honor United States Army Specialist Robert Allan Pierce of Huntington, who died June 3, while serving his country in Afghanistan.
~~~~~
My young classmate, Martha Chapman, shared this with us. Her comment; “This is so true- what to do- what to do-”
~
The Terrible Tragedy of the Healthy Eater - - August 1, 2012 by Erica •

“I know you. We have a lot in common. You have been doing some reading and now you are pretty sure everything in the grocery store and your kitchen cupboards is going to kill you. …”

For the rest of the EXCELLENT article, go to; 1http://www.nwedible.com/2012/08/tragedy-healthy-eater.html
~~~~~
As a big fan of photography and trains, I was excited to learn of the work of Gary Knapp on "Tracks Ahead" this week. He's doing incredible work with trains in iconic settings at night. [http://www.ourherald.com/news/2010-11-18/Front_Page/f05.html] To see more Gary Knapp work just Google “gary knapp night trains”. [http://www.railpictures.net/showphotos.php?userid=7962]
~~~~~
The news of fatal explosions at two south Louisiana Manufacturing Plants this week could cause us to conclude that working in a chemical plant is a dangerous occupation, but statistics say otherwise.

There were 25 fatalities in chemical manufacturing plants nationwide in 2011, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics. That's a fatality rate of 1.9 per 100,000 full-time workers, barely half the rate among all workers.

Nationwide, 3.8 of every 100 full-time workers was injured in 2011, according to the U.S. Occupational Safety and Health Administration. The injury rate was 2.4 in the overall chemical manufacturing sector, and 0.6 in the area of chemical manufacturing including the Williams plant. That's among the very lowest injury rate of any manufacturing sector.

Don’t get me wrong, any fatalities are way way too many ... but the fact that two explosions resulted in such a low number of fatal injuries is a testament to the plant and community emergency plans and teams. The reports from these incidents reveal a great deal of planning for and a professional job of responding to these incidents
~~~~~
Latest Posting in "Praying For Melinda"
Jodi is at family camp this week so I will do my own updating. She will straighten me out if she thinks I didn't do it right I am sure. Wayne and I just got in from Houston. I didn't show out this time. lol. Everything went well. Now that I am not eligible for the trial anymore (since I reacted to one of the drugs-cetuximab) the plan is still to continue on with the other two, Avastin and Torisel (this is the one that has to be paid for out of pocket).I will have two more weeks of treatment then they will do scans to see if the treatment is doing any good without the third drug. We are on Plan B now, I don't know how many more plans the doctors can come up with but I still have faith God has a plan of His own. I appreciate all the prayers, support, and donations
(https://www.giveforward.com/fundraiser/jcf2/healing-for-melinda?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=fb_share_stream.share&utm_campaign=vanity_page_T1&og_action=hug&t=3&fb_ref=1052547)

Words are just not enough but that is all I have. God bless you all.
~~~~~
John and Teresa Britton are Chi Alpha Campus Ministries Missionaries in Stillwater, OK. If you have a giving heart, I recommend supporting this Mission. They do a great job spiritually feeding college students and ... they also do a great job helping college students with their physical needs.

When they were at SAU in Magnolia I often saw them inviting students to their home, and helping students with just about any problem you can imagine college students encounter. John and Teresa also are very hard workers in the local church. We're really missing them in Magnolia since they moved to OK.

John Britton - - Check out our page at AG U.S. Missions web site: http://usmissions.ag.org/resources/locator_02.cfm?Display=Yes&churchdetail=AGHM4015
~~~~~
Every New Christian (and most older ones) should attend a Discipleship school like "In Christ" Bible School that MCC used to sponsor.
This is a GREAT way for young Christians who they are "In Christ." The curriculum is simple but very very deep.

1. Someone to be responsible (notice I didn't say subservient) to.
2. An education in who we are In Christ.

We graduated many folks from MCCs "In Christ" Bible school over the years. I wish it was still holding classes.
~~~~~
Magnolia's Farmers Market. Opens at 7:00 am. Usually sold out by 8 to 8:30 am. Tuesdays and Thursdays And Saturday

Emerson Farmers Market at the Emerson United Methodist Church. Is open Tuesdays and Fridays. 7 am till... (usually 8 or 8:30)
~~~~~
Favorite Quotes:

A lot of people criticize the primaries, but I think they are absolutely essential to the education of the President of the United States.

I've had at least my share of tragedy, but I have had far more than my share of happiness.

Believe me, as one who has seen a number of international crises firsthand, they cannot be handled without an understanding of history.

A lot of people criticize the primaries, but I think they are absolutely essential to the education of the President of the United States.

Pierre Salinger
~
You don't have to hit bottom for God to show you His way. But it's easier to see what's really going on when you have no where to look but up.

James F. McClellan
~~~~~
The following wisdom is shared by our friends.
~
Focus on individuals—avoid the herding. Jesus went searching for the one.
We become focused on the BIG picture (the forest) and we lose sight of the trees (individuals). Ministry is not ONLY about the BIG picture, it is also – and most specifically – about the individual. Disciples are not created in herds. Disciples are created as individuals (Great Commission)
Taken from Brian Dollar's blog--Kid's minister

Mary Louise Brownlee Alexis
~
Be prepared when you pull your refrigerator out from the wall- you will NOT like what you see!

Martha Chapman
~
The moon smiling down on me tonight doesn't affect me that much. It's when it points at me and laughs that I get mad.

If your job is to tell me how to do my job, you should at least know how to do my job.

The Obama administration would NEVER use the NSA's electronic intelligence schemes to garner information for political gain. I mean, it's not like the NSA is the State Department, the Justice Department, the FBI, or the IRS for Pete's sake.

Chuck Jackson
~
Don't escape from your long preparation, see!! we what easy and fast, pop out like popcorn what if it will take 30 years for preparation will You stay In? , "Preaching to myself".

Titus Kasomo
~
I think the heat has zapped all my energy today

Today, take the time to look around you, and recognize what you have to be thankful for. Now do you really think YOU did all that by yourself?

Never let a day go by without telling your loved ones how important they are to you. None of us are promised tomorrow.

Nancee Davis Law
~
The presence of outstanding strengths presupposes that energy needed in other areas has been channeled away from them. -Allen Shawn

Why is it that missionaries are applauded for speaking the language of and using the best of their host culture to express the Gospel, but if an American church does the same thing we are "watering down the gospel"? Jesus is coming. Let's win this generation!

Jimmy Malone
~
The best part about being over 40 is we did most of our stupid stuff before the internet!

Bobbie McClellan
~
Wake up Wake Up America! .... Cause it's gonna be a great day!!!!

Anita Heath McNatt
~
You know how when your parents would leave, they'd give 1000 instructions? I Thess. 5 reminds me of that. Here's a few of those instructions. Live in peace with each other, encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient, do good, rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks...the list goes on. You know, focusing on these each day, and making it our business to be about the Father's business, we'd be too busy to mind other folks' business...just a happy "Friday" thought!

Debbie Troquille
~
"One ship sails East, And another West, by the self-same winds that blow.’Tis the set of the sails And not the gales, that tells the way we go. Like the winds of the sea are the waves of time, as we journey along through life. 'Tis the set of the soul, that determines the goal, and not the calm or the strife." Shared from Richard Remington

Paul David Troquille
~
If you've left a voice mail on my cell phone in the last two weeks, and I didn't call back, sorry about that. I got ALL those messages at once - today.

Joe Tudor
~
Great day in Honduras today--last day of OBS with EIM. Many lives were changed, including mine! God showed out once again!

Tim Wooley
~~~~~
AskBob - - Bob Rankin - - Geekly Update - 12 June 2013

Is the Verizon 'Share Everything' plan really a secret deal to let the Feds snoop into your phone records? Is Motorola's new wearable tech a digital convenience, or the Mark of the Beast? And how many calories are in that avocado, anyway? Get answers to these burning questions, and the scoop on the latest tech news, in this edition of the Geekly Update. It's guaranteed to make you 146% smarter, read on...http://askbobrankin.com/geekly_update_12_june_2013.html?awt_l=HZr.N&awt_m=IzrcKtl.Z8P6SL
~~~~~
ACC SmartBrief - - Sen. Murkowski sees Senate taking up energy-efficiency bill soon

The Senate could begin tackling the Shaheen-Portman energy-efficiency bill after wrapping up debates on immigration policy, said Sen. Lisa Murkowski, R-Alaska. "What we need to do is nail down the universe of amendments that we can present [and] basically have a game plan to go forward," Murkowski said. "Call me optimistic, because A, it's good legislation, B, it's bipartisan, and C, it's just the right thing to do to advance energy legislation. It's long overdue." FuelFix.com (6/12) http://fuelfix.com/blog/2013/06/12/murkowski-energy-efficiency-bill-will-advance-on-capitol-hill/
~~~~~
DarynKagan.com - - I have for you today empowered actresses, a lesson in love, & kids getting perspective on what's important.

Enjoy!
-Daryn.

Over-40 Actresses Getting Some Sweet Revenge In Hollywood #Rewriting The Rules!
http://darynkagan.com/Celebs___Artists.html

Unusual Place For Marriage Proposal #Motion Approved!
http://darynkagan.com/Love_Stories.html

Dad Fights Spoiled Kids; Teens Make 33,000 Burritos!
http://darynkagan.com/Charity.html

Know anyone who would love to get this newsletter and brighten their day? Sign them up http://darynkagan.us6.list-manage1.com/subscribe?u=8fc852c2879912f2f334bb010&id=54f94ca479.
~~~~~
Diabetes Life - - www.dlife.com - - Weight Loss Surgery Series: Before, During, and After

Beginning the journey to bariatric surgery - - kalimah bioBy Kalimah Johnson

I have had a weight problem all of my life. Actually, my horrible eating habits — which contributed to my overall weight gain — http://www.dlife.com/diabetes-food-and-fitness/weight_management/weight_loss_surgery/kalimah_johnson/bariatric_surgery_part1?utm_source=Update-20130614&utm_medium=eNewsletter&utm_content=Update-newsletter&utm_campaign=dLife-eNewsletter&
~~~~~
5 Things New Veterans Expect From All Candidates


1. Defend the New GI Bill

2. Employ the New Greatest Generation

3. Prevent suicide among troops and veterans

4. Build a truly 21st Century VA

5. Improve Care for Female Veterans


http://iava.org/blog/5-things-new-veterans-expect-all-candidates-2012
~~~~~
The latest from Michael Yon, the foremost “milnews” blogger on the web.
~
Greetings,

Of interest on China and Okinawa.

Sentiment Builds in China to Press Claim for Okinawa

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/06/14/world/asia/sentiment-builds-in-china-to-press-claim-for-okinawa.html?ref=world&_r=0

Very Respectfully,
Michael Yon
Your Writer,

Please remember that this website accepts no advertisement and is dependent on your support.

PS Please sign up for my Twitter.com updates at "Michael_Yon" [http://twitter.com/Michael_Yon] (not Michael Yon).

http://www.facebook.com/#/MichaelYonFanPage?ref=sgm
~
www.michaelyon-online.com
~
Http://www.michaelyon_online.com/index.php
~~~~~
If you would like to encourage US Troops overseas, but are not sure just how to begin, visit www.anysoldier.com for ideas.
~~~~~
Please remember ... America is not at war. The U.S. Military is at war. America is at the MALL.
~~~~~
Rasmussin Reports - - June 14, 2013 - - Issue: 56

Distrust of Government Is What It's All About - - A Commentary By Scott Rasmussen

Another week, another controversy in official Washington.

At the moment, 35 percent of voters consider recently exposed National Security Agency surveillance efforts as the most serious. The Internal Revenue Service's targeting of conservatives is No. 2 on the list, followed by concerns about the Obama administration's handling of the incident in Benghazi last fall in which the U.S. ambassador to Libya was murdered. The Justice Department's secret probe of reporters' phone and email records is seen as the top concern by only 9 percent.

Competing for attention with the controversies are ongoing policy disputes over immigration, gun control and full implementation of the national health care law.

While each of these stories has its own cast of characters and internal dynamics, it is now possible to identify a unifying theme.

President Obama, whose deeply held faith in government is unwavering, unintentionally provided that moment of clarity last week. In attempting to dismiss concerns about the NSA disclosures, he said, "If people can't trust not only the executive branch but also don't trust Congress and don't trust federal judges to make sure that we're abiding by the Constitution with due process and rule of law, then we're going to have some problems here."

We have a problem.

Just 30 percent of voters nationwide have that much trust in government officials when it comes to these surveillance efforts.

Only 24 percent now are confident that the federal government does the right thing most of the time.

This popular distrust of government is the theme that ties all the recent news stories together. It's driving all the current policy debates.

On immigration, there is broad popular support for comprehensive immigration reform. Most Americans believe legal immigration is good for the country, but most do not trust the government to enforce any provisions in the new law that would improve border security and reduce illegal immigration. Only 7 percent believe that enforcement is "very likely" to happen.

This is not just Republicans grumbling about Barack Obama in the White House. The same skepticism was there when George W. Bush was president. Unless the government does something to address the border problem, it will be there for the next president, as well. Because of that distrust, prospects for passing serious immigration reform this year are slim indeed.

Similarly with gun control, Americans overwhelmingly like the idea of requiring background checks for those who want to purchase a gun, but they are very suspicious of where the president and New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg want to go from there. If voters were convinced their plan was for background checks and nothing more, it would have enjoyed broad popular support.

The president's health care law is facing the same challenge. New mandates will soon force people to buy more expensive insurance plans. Advocates say they're not really more expensive because they provide more coverage. But most Americans are uncomfortable with trusting the government to decide an appropriate level of coverage. They're also suspicious of all government cost estimates.

Many in Washington are frustrated by the public distrust. They dream of public relations programs to overcome it. What is needed, though, is for the government to change its behavior, so that it can earn the trust of the people it serves.

To find out more about Scott Rasmussen, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2013 - - SCOTT RASMUSSEN - - DISTRIBUTED BY CREATORS.COM

See Other Political Commentaries. http://www.rasmussenreports.com/public_content/political_commentary

See Other Commentaries by Scott Rasmussen. http://www.rasmussenreports.com/public_content/political_commentary/commentary_by_scott_rasmussen
~~~~~
"Today's Seed" from E-MIN - June 14, 2013


Today's message is an encore presentation of the Today's Seed message that was sent 14 years ago today, June 14, 1999.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Jesus said to the people who believed in him, "You are truly my disciples if you keep obeying my teachings. And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." "But we are descendants of Abraham," they said. "We have never been slaves to anyone on earth.
What do you mean, 'set free'?" Jesus replied, "I assure you that everyone who sins is a slave of sin. A slave is not a permanent member of the family, but a son is part of the family forever. So if the Son sets you free, you will indeed be free. (John 8:31-36 NLT)

Prayer: LORD, I am grateful that I have a place in the family of God that will not be taken away from me. No other person or creature can take it from me and You will not: You have made me Your child forever. I no longer have to be a slave to sin or anything else, but I am free in You. Thank You for making this freedom possible. Help me learn more of the Truth and what this means as I grow in You. In Jesus' name. Amen.
________________________________

Today's Seed is reader-supported. Please help us grow. Donate by check, card, & PayPal: www.e-min.org/give2.htm (Tax deductible)

Sign up to receive your own Today's Seed: www.e-min.org/msg.htm - -Share Today's Seed with family & friends: www.e-min.org/rects.htm Connect with Randall: www.facebook.com/RandallVaughnBooks or www.twitter.com/randallvaughn Get Randall's new book: My Lyrics, My Life https://www.createspace.com/4092337

Today's Seed by Randall Vaughn is published daily (M-F) by E-MIN Global Ministries, P O Box 220, Warrior, AL 35180 (USA) www.e-min.org Copyright Terms/Permissions/List Privacy www.e-min.org/tp.htm Today's Seed(TM) (c) 2012 Randall Vaughn All Rights Reserved Worldwide.
~~~~~
http://www.shelfari.com
http://www.shelfari.com/bugsbleat/shelf
~~~~~
Photos on the front of this week’s “Bleat” include - - My dad, James Curtis McClellan about 1949. "Bug Eaters" Da Boys ate Crickets and Mealy Worms at LoGoLy Day Camp. LifeNet preparing to transport a patient from MRMC. This year’s "Flower Bed" in the Magnolia Gardens. Annette studying for her sermon at Wade Prison Monday. Shelling fresh Pinto Beans. James Watson (Tamey) Duke with David on the steam engine that once set in the park east of Lewisville.
~~~~~

For the latest issue of "Da Bleat.", go to http://www.bugsbleat.blogspot.com.
Our photos are posted at http://www.bugsbleatphotos.blogspot.com.
~~~~~
Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
~~~~~
Thank You, Dad
Reflections on my Father
By: Chuck Colson

Hi, I’m John Stonestreet. As we get ready to buy our dads a tie for Father’s Day, let’s hear from our old friend Chuck Colson, who in this 2008 broadcast reflected on his dad.


As this Father’s Day approaches, I’ve been thinking a lot about my own dad, and how blessed I was to have him in my life. I was born during the Depression; by today’s standards, I guess you’d say we grew up in fairly deprived circumstances. I just didn’t know it.

I remember that Dad wasn't around much when I was growing up. He had to drop out of high school when he was a young man to support his family after his father died. So by the time I arrived, he was working full-time at a job, and going to accounting school—and later law school—at night—12 years in total.

One of my earliest childhood memories was my parents taking food to neighbors who had less than we did; and my mother taking me on the subway to meet my dad coming out of law school at nine o’clock at night. Then we’d accompany him home, but not before stopping for an ice cream.

As I reflect on it, I think I developed my work ethic during those days. When I got out of the Marine Corps, I thought nothing about working full-time and going to school four years at night to get my law degree. After all, my dad had set the example. Maybe one of the best days for my dad, and for me, was when I was admitted to the bar in Massachusetts and made a copy of the certificate, mailing it to my dad with a note on it saying, “Without you I could never have done this.”

My dad worked so hard that I was accustomed to only spending time with him on Sunday afternoons. We'd sit on the back porch, and there was never any wasted time. My dad would drill lessons into my head: Always do an honest day’s work for an honest day’s pay; be willing to do anything you’re required to do (that came in handy, by the way, when I had to clean toilets in Marine training); and always tell the truth. Well, I testified 44 times under oath during Watergate, and was never once accused of perjury.

But if anybody accused me of self-righteousness, I would have to stand convicted. When I got to the White House, I was meticulous about avoiding conflicts of interest: I’d put everything I owned in trusts. I wouldn't see former clients. But I ended up in prison. Self-righteousness is a form of pride.

One of the toughest things I ever experienced was stopping by my dad’s hospital room on my way to prison. It was an emotional time, but at least I was able to witness to him about Christ. I won’t know until I get to heaven what came of it. And my worst day followed that, when I learned, in prison, that my dad had died. I had to attend the funeral under armed guard.

But one thing I knew for sure—and I knew it even as I grieved at my father’s funeral: Dad had poured everything he had into me—and into his grandkids, who became the joy of his life. And he lived his life with great honor and dignity.

All I can hope is that the same will be said of me some day by my children and grandchildren. I knew every minute my dad was proud of me—and I was proud of him.

I told him how I felt many times when he was alive. But on reflection, I wish I’d told him more often. So, don’t miss the opportunity this Father’s Day to tell your father how much you love him and appreciate him. Or, if he's gone, as my father is, at least give a prayer of thanks to God that you had the dad you did.

(This commentary is re-aired from June 13, 2008).

Further Reading and Information

Take action Thank You, Dad: Reflections on my Father - Next Steps

On this Father’s Day, pick up the phone, mail a card, thank your dad for the time he devoted to you. In instances where relationships are strained, take the first step to reconcile with your father even in small ways like simply sending a quick note and breaking the silence. Where communication is completely cut off, pray for your father.
If you get a chance, check out the book The Blessing by Gary Smalley and John Trent about how to improve broken family relationships and heal any past wounds with your father. Find other great books on fatherhood listed below.


Books:

The Blessing
Gary Smalley | Pocket Books | November 1990
http://www.colsoncenterstore.org/product.asp?sku=0671737430

First Time Dad: The Stuff You Really Need to Know
John Fuller | Moody Publishers | May 2011
http://www.colsoncenterstore.org/product.asp?sku=9780802487506

You Have What It Takes: What Every Father Needs to Know
John Eldredge | Nelson Books | March 2007
http://www.colsoncenterstore.org/product.asp?sku=0785288767

Point Man: How a Man Can Lead His Family
Steve Farrar | Multnomah Publishers | April 2003
http://www.colsoncenterstore.org/product.asp?sku=1590521269

Quiet Strength: The Principles, Practices, and Priorities of a Winning Life
Tony Dungy | Tyndale House | May 2008
http://www.colsoncenterstore.org/product.asp?sku=1414318022

Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: 10 Secrets Every Father Should Know
Meg Meeker |Regnery Publishing | September 2006
http://www.colsoncenterstore.org/product.asp?sku=1596980125

Tales from the Dad Side: Misadventures in Fatherhood
Steve Doocy | Harper Paperback | 2008
http://www.colsoncenterstore.org/product.asp?sku=9780061441639

What Every Man Wishes His Father Had Told Him
Byron Forrest Yawn | Harvest House Publishers | February 2012
http://www.colsoncenterstore.org/product.asp?sku=9780736946384

[http://www.breakpoint.org/bpcommentaries]
Copyright © 2013 Colson Center. All Rights Reserved

~~~~~
Residents of Columbia County, Arkansas are represented in Congress by:
~

Senator John Boozman (R_ AR)
1 Russell Courtyard
Washington DC, 20510
Phone: 202-224-4843
http://boozman.senate.gov/
~
Senator Mark Pryor (D_ AR)
Phone 202_224_2353
FAX 202_228_0908
http://pryor.senate.gov/
~
Representative Tom Cotton (R )
Phone 202_225_3772
FAX 202_225_1314
http://cotton.house.gov/

Other states congresspersons can be found at: [http://www.visi.com/juan/congress/]
~~~~~
THOUGHT OF THE DAY:

"Live a balanced life. Learn some and think some, and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some." - Robert Fulghum

"If I'd known I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself!" - Eubie Blake

"How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives." - Annie Dillard

"Fair winds and following seas and long may your big jib draw!" - Naval Blessing

"Anger as soon as fed is dead / 'Tis starving makes it fat." - Emily Dickinson

"The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them." - Mark Twain

"There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it." - Oscar Wilde
~~~~~
Breaking Christian News

Patriots' Owner: Tebow Was Signed on Because of His "Spirituality"
News Staff (Jun 13, 2013)

Patriots' owner Robert Kraft announced that Tim Tebow was signed on recently, in part, because Kraft was concerned about a lack of spirituality on his football team.

http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=11797

~

30th Abortion Clinic CLOSED in 2013, after Botched Abortions, Patient Death
Operation Rescue News Staff (Jun 10, 2013)

"Nova will be closing due to the dogged determination of a core of local activists who pursued every available opportunity—from prayer to public protest—to expose this heinous abortion mill and protect the public from its dangerous practices." –Troy Newman

http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=11755

editor@breakingchristiannews.com
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>

GCF: If this was forwarded to you, please consider your own subscription to Good Clean Fun. It's free! Just send an email to: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: American Idol

My wife left me a note saying I should try out for "American Idle."

But the joke is on her because she spelled it wr--- hey, wait a minute!
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: New Boyfriend

The teenage girl brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents. He has a baseball cap on backwards, torn low-rider jeans and numerous tattoos and body piercings.

The mother pulls her daughter aside. "Dear, you know your father and I love you and we only want the best for you. This boy, he just doesn't seem very ... nice."

"Oh please, Mom! If he wasn't nice, why would he be doing five hundred hours of community service?"
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Job Requirement

The personnel manager was impressing the applicant with the prospective job.

"We make parts for microscopes. You'll be required to work with lenses that are ten-thousandths of an inch thick."

"I can handle it," the applicant said, "I used to slice meat in a delicatessen."
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Workaholic

As an attorney in a major law firm, I have many colleagues who work long hours. However, the reputation of one of my partners' workaholic ways even extended beyond the office. He not only had to leave work early one day because of a medical problem, but was also told by his doctor to stay home until the end of the week. My colleague grudgingly agreed to comply.

In the middle of the week, our receptionist received a call for him. She announced that the partner was out of the office until Friday.

"Good," the caller said. "That's all I wanted to know." It was the partner's doctor.
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: How Many Children?

I was blessed with three beautiful, intelligent and terrific children. When they were seven, six and five, my youngest daughter who was always asking questions, came home from kindergarten one day and asked, "Daddy, how many children did you want?"

Thinking for a minute, I looked at her and said, "Two."

She thought about this for a moment and then asked, "Me, and who else?"
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Delivery Suspicion

There was an unexpected knock on my door, and like I always do I first opened the peephole and asked, "Who's there?"

"Parcel Post, ma'am. I have a package that needs a signature."

"Where's the package?" I asked suspiciously. The deliveryman held it up.

"Could I see some ID?" I said, still not convinced.

"Lady," he replied wearily, "if I wanted to break into your house, I'd probably just use these." And he pulled out the keys I had left in the door.
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Better Living Through Chemistry

Table of Elements:
C = carbon
Ho = holmium
Co = cobalt
La = lanthanum
Te = tellurium

CHoCoLaTe - Better living through chemistry!
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Nasty Virus

One week of suffering through a nasty stomach virus left me wiped out. But I found a silver lining the very first day I could crawl out of bed.

Throwing on a pair of pants, I called out to my husband, "Look! These jeans fit, they finally fit!"

"Great," he said. "But those are mine."
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: What's Wrong, Officer?

"What's wrong, Officer?"

I asked the cop those three dreaded words seconds after he'd pulled me over.

"Didn't you notice that you were driving the wrong way down a one-way street?" he asked.

"No" I said. "I'd turned on from Maple, which didn't have any signs indicating that this street was one-way."

"That's because you were going the wrong way down Maple too."
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Black Friday Shopping

My wife got mad at me when I told her I was "NOT" going shopping with her at midnight on Black Friday. She went by herself, and she informed me in the morning that she had purchased eight new dresses.

"Eight dresses!" I hollered, "What could any woman want with eight new dresses?"

She calmly replied, "Eight new pairs of shoes."
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Oregon Trail

On a family vacation one summer, we crossed Wyoming and noted several historical points of interest. The children were especially interested because they enjoyed the computer game "Oregon Trail," which gives players a taste of the hardships the pioneers endured.

We stopped at the famous South Pass to look at the wagon tracks still visible in the dirt.

Squinting out over the desolate, wind-swept landscape, my daughter nodded and said grimly, "This is where my oxen always die."
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Soccer Carpool

For the second time in a row, I was forced to impose on the woman with whom I carpooled to our children's soccer practices. I phoned and explained that my husband had the car again, so I wouldn't be able to take my turn. A few minutes before she was due to pick up my son, my husband showed up.

Since it was too late for me to call and say I could drive after all, I asked my husband to hide the car in the garage and to stay inside. I also explained to my son that he shouldn't mention anything about his father's whereabouts.

Unfortunately, my husband forgot and was in front of our house chatting with a friend when my carpool partner arrived. When my son returned from practice, I asked him if she had noticed.

"Yes," he replied, "she asked me which of the two men in front of the house was my father. But don't worry. I told her I didn't know."
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Heimlich Maneuver

During a CPR training class, we were paired up to practice the Heimlich Maneuver. The instructor set the scene by saying, "Imagine you're at a dinner party with your spouse and he or she starts choking."

He then reminded us not to do anything to people who were coughing, because they'd probably dislodge the obstruction on their own. We were to calm such victims with quiet talk and encourage them to continue coughing.

When the role playing began, one woman moved close to her coughing "husband." She placed a hand on his shoulder and whispered, "Honey, did you remember to mail your life insurance premium check last week?"
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Eating Habits

The mother had become very cholesterol-conscious and was trying to change the family's eating habits. They were now consuming lots of oat bran, and she had substituted turkey for most of the meats they used to enjoy. She used ground turkey in spaghetti sauce and she served turkey hot dogs.

The 18-year-old daughter was getting tired of all the turkey and cholesterol talk. One day she came home from school and asked the usual, "What's for dinner?"

"Chicken," the mom replied.

With a tired sigh she inquired, "Real chicken or turkey chicken?"
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Ice Capades

A mother's four-year-old daughter was attending her first performance of the Ice Capades. She was so mesmerized that she wouldn't budge from her seat even during intermission, watching the activity while the ice was cleaned.

At the end of the show, she exclaimed, "I know what I want to be when I grow up!"

The mother envisioned her on the ice in another 15 years, starring in the Ice Capades.

She was brought back to earth when the daughter continued, "I want to be a zamboni driver!"
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Birthday Cake

The mother was having difficulty gulping down the birthday cake her young son had made for her as a surprise.

When she was finished, he happily exclaimed, "I'm so glad you like it, Mommy. There should have been 32 candles on the cake, but they were all gone when I took it out of the oven."
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Chain Necklace

When a thief snatched a chain necklace that a friend of mine was wearing, she grabbed at his collar, trying unsuccessfully to stop his getaway. Asked for the thief's description later, she said,"Don't bother looking for him. He only got a costume-jewelry chain of mine. But when I grabbed him by the collar, I got his chain, and it's real gold!"
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Need to Relax

Jill wanted to convince Susan, a continually harried friend, that she needed to find ways to relax. She invited her to dinner and, while she was busy cooking, Susan agreed to watch her old videotape on stress management and relaxation techniques.

Fifteen minutes later, she came into the kitchen and handed Jill the tape. "It was good," she said, "but I don't need it."

"But it's a 70-minute video," Jill replied. "You couldn't have watched the whole thing."

"Yes, I did," Susan assured her. "I put it on fast-forward."
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Missing Purse

One Saturday night some friends came to our house to play cards. As they were driving away at the end of the evening, I discovered that one of the women had left her purse in a corner next to the dining-room hutch. I was about to call her house, intending to leave a message on the answering machine, when my son reminded me that they had a cell phone.

As I dialed the number, I marveled at the technology that would alert them before they had driven all the way home. A few seconds later the purse began to ring.
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Traffic Court

Recently in Traffic Court, a man who received an expensive parking ticket, testified that a uniformed Policeman had given his OK for the man to park there.

The Judge asked the man if he would recognize the Officer if he ever saw him again, and the man replied that he would.

The Judge then said, "Good. When you see the Officer again, tell him he owes you 257 dollars. Next..."
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Tickets

A police officer friend of ours had stopped at the local cafe for coffee and was getting ready to leave when I spotted him.

"Go out and get'em!" I said. "I suppose everyone gets a ticket today?"

"I don't really give out many tickets," he said seriously.

"Oh come on," I teased, "you'd give your own mother a ticket."

"No, my mother never drove a car," he said, still serious.

Then a grin spread over his face. "I did catch her jaywalking once." he said, "and I issued her a warning. But that's all."
_ _______________________________ _

GCF: Diet Tips

My sisters and I have weight problems and are always sharing diet tips. One day my oldest sister was showing us a low-fat cookbook and pointed out a chicken dish she had tried the night before.

Reading the ingredients, I commented, "It looks like it would taste really bland."

"It did," she replied, "until I added cheese and sour cream."
_ _______________________________ _

/ )| Thomas S. Ellsworth |( \
/ / | tellswor@slonet.org | \ \
_( (_ | http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor | _) )_
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________________( \_||_/ )_____________________________( \_||_/ )_____________________________( \_||_/ )_____________________________( \_||_/ )___________________( \_||_/ )___________________( \_||_/ )___________________( \_||_/ )___________________( \_||_/ )___________________( \_||_/ )___________________( \_||_/ )___________________( \_||_/ )___________________( \_||_/ )___________________( \_||_/ )___________________( \_||_/ )___________________( \_||_/ )___________________( \_||_/ )___________________( \_||_/ )___________________( \_||_/ )___________________( \_||_/ )___________________( \_||_/ )___________________( \_||_/ )___________________( \_||_/ )___________________( \_|<> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
On the way back from a cub scout meeting, my grandson innocently said to my son, "Dad, I know babies come from mommies' tummies, but how do they get there in the first place?"

After my son hemmed and hawed a while, my grandson finally spoke up in disgust, "You don't have to make up something, Dad. It's okay if you don't know the answer."

Received from Penny Bartnicki.

(_:][:_)

Where's My Smith And Wesson

You may have heard on the news about a southern California man put under 72-hour psychiatric observation when it was found he owned 100 guns and allegedly had (by rough estimate) 1-million rounds of ammunition stored in his home. The house also featured a secret escape tunnel.

My favorite quote from the dimwit television reporter: "Wow! He has about a million machine gun bullets." The headline referred to it as a "massive weapons cache."

By southern California standards someone even owning 100,000 rounds would be called "mentally unstable." Just imagine if he lived elsewhere:

In Arizona, he'd be called "an avid gun collector."

In Arkansas, he'd be called "a novice gun collector."

In Utah, he'd be called "moderately well prepared," but they'd probably reserve judgment until they made sure that he had a corresponding quantity of stored food.

In Montana, he'd be called "The neighborhood 'Go-To' guy."

In Idaho, he'd be called "a likely gubernatorial candidate."

In Wyoming, he'd be called "an eligible bachelor."

And, in Texas, he'd be called "a deer hunting buddy."

Received from dadiodio.

(_:][:_)

An older man, not in the best physical condition, asked the trainer in the gym, "I want to impress a beautiful young girl. Which machine should I use?"

The trainer replied, "Use the ATM machine outside!"

Received from george kotalis.

(_:][:_)

Which Came First?

A computer scientist, a surgeon, and a civil engineer were gathered at the pub. The surgeon boasts, "Surgery is the oldest technology in the world. It's in the Bible. God removed Adam's rib while he slept. This is clear evidence that surgery pre-dates all other technological endevors."

Without so much as a beat, the civil engineer says, "Before that, God formed the earth, the stars, and everything from nothing but chaos. He created rivers, mountians and oceans. This was clear evidence that civil engineering pre-dates all other technological endeavors."

No to be outdone, the computer scientist points out, "Yes, but where do you think the chaos came from?"

Received from ArcaMax Jokes.

(_:][:_)

The congregation of a small stone church decided that the stone which formed the step up to the front door had become too worn by its years of use, and would have to be replaced. As a sign of the faithfulness of members over the years, the stone had a pronounced dip in the middle, well-worn by parishioners entering and leaving the chapel.

Unfortunately, there were hardly any funds available for the replacement. Then someone came up with the bright idea that the replacement could be postponed for many years by simply turning the block of stone over.

They discovered that their great-grandparents had beaten them to it.

Received from Da Mouse Tracks.

(_:][:_)

My husband and I had just finished tucking our five young ones into bed one evening when we heard sobbing coming from three-year-old Billy's room. Rushing to his side, we found him crying hysterically. He had accidentally swallowed a penny and was sure he was going to die. No amount of talking could change his mind.

Desperate to calm him, my husband palmed a penny that he happened to have in his pocket and pretended to pull it from Billy's ear. Billy was delighted. In a flash, he snatched it from my husband's hand, swallowed it and demanded cheerfully, "Do it again, Dad!"

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

(_:][:_)

Company B of the 11th Airborne Division stationed in Germany was sent on a two-day march. The weather was cold and rainy, and the roads soon turned to mud. The battalion commander, a colonel, marched with the troops, first with one group and then another.

On this moonless night, most of the men didn't recognize the colonel with his rain gear on and military insignia covered up. One miserable private leaned toward him and said, "Can you believe some idiots actually make a career out of this?"

From Reader's Digest, "Humor in Uniform"

Received from Ed.

(_:][:_)

Ann Landers challenged her readers to come up with the world's third biggest lie -- right after "The check is in the mail" and "I'm from the government, and I'm here to help you." Here is a sampling from the thousands she received:

- "It's a good thing you came in today. We only have two more in stock."

- "Five pounds is nothing on a person of your height."

- "You made it yourself? I never would have guessed."

- "You don't look a day over 40."

- "Dad, I need to move out of the dorm into an apartment of my own so I can have some peace and quiet when I study."

- "It's delicious, but I can't eat another bite."

- "The new ownership won't affect you. The company will remain the same."

- "The puppy won't be any trouble, Mom. I promise I'll take care of it myself."

- "Your hair looks just fine."

- "Put away the map. I know exactly how to get there."

- "You don't need it in writing. You have my personal guarantee."

Received from Ed.

(_:][:_)

A woman went into a hardware store to purchase a bale of peat moss.

She gave a personal check in payment and said to the clerk, "I suppose you will want some identification."

He replied, without hesitation, "No ma'am, that won't be necessary."

"How come?" asked the woman.

"Crooks don't buy peat moss," answered the clerk.

(_:][:_)

A friend was lecturing in Latin America. He was going to use a translator, but to identify with his audience, he wanted to begin his talk by saying in Spanish, "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen." He arrived at the auditorium a little early and realized he did not know the Spanish words for ladies and gentlemen. Being rather resourceful, he went to the part of the building where the restrooms were, looked at the signs on the two doors, and memorized those two words.

When the audience arrived and he was introduced, he stood up and said in Spanish, "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen."

The audience was shocked. He didn't know whether he had offended them or perhaps they hadn't heard him or understood him. So he decided to repeat it. Again in Spanish he said, "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen."

One person in the audience began to snicker. Pretty soon the entire audience was laughing. Finally, someone told him that he had said, "Good evening, bathrooms and broom closets!"

Received from Clean Laffs.

(_:][:_)

After spending 3-1/2 hours enduring the long lines, surly clerks and insane regulations at the Department of Motor Vehicles, I stopped at a toy store to pick up a gift for my son.

I brought my selection - a baseball bat - to the cash register.

"Cash or charge?" the clerk asked.

"Cash," I snapped. Then apologizing for my rudeness, I explained, "I've spent the afternoon at the motor-vehicle bureau."

"Shall I giftwrap the bat?" the clerk asked sweetly. "Or are you going back there?"

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

(_:][:_)
--
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Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Column - -
http://www.madkane.com/humor_blog/

Facebook Faces The Hashtag Music

June 14th, 2013

Facebook Faces The #Hashtag Music (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Facebook honchos have fin’ly said “yes”
To #hashtags, but under duress:
All the cool kids at Twitter
Treat hashtags like glitter,
A trend Facebook dares not transgress.

#Facebookhashtag #Facebookhashtags #hashtagsfacebook #hashtagfacebook

© Madeleine Begun Kane. All Rights Reserved.
http://www.madkane.com/
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Once upon a time a powerful Emperor of the Rising Sun advertised for a new Chief Samurai.

After a year, only three applied for the job:
A Japanese,
A Chinese, and
A Jewish Samurai.

"Demonstrate your skills!" commanded the Emperor.

The Japanese samurai stepped forward, opened a tiny box and released a fly. He drew his samurai sword and *Swish!* the fly fell to the floor, neatly divided in two!

"What a feat!" said the Emperor. “Number Two Samurai, show me what you do."

The Chinese samurai smiled confidently, stepped forward and opened a tiny box, releasing a fly. He drew his samurai sword and * Swish! * Swish! * The fly fell to the floor neatly quartered.

"That is skill!" nodded the Emperor. "How are you going to top that, Number three Samurai?"

The Jewish samurai, Obi-wan Cohen, stepped forward and opened a tiny box releasing one fly, drew his samurai sword and *Swoooooosh! * flourished his sword so mightily that a gust of wind blew through the room. But the fly was still buzzing around!

In disappointment, the Emperor said, "What kind of skill is that? The fly isn't even dead."

"Dead?" replied the Jewish Samurai... "Dead is easy. Circumcision... Now THAT takes skill!"
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"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." __ Franklin D. Roosevelt
"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. _ _ George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" _ _ Queen E. Watson
“A political class of Republicans and Democrats that look after themselves, not the Nation. A media hostile to the very precepts of this nation. A generation of Americans who see morals as vices, and are ignorant of America's Actual History.”
"The things that will destroy America are prosperity-at-any-price, peace-at-any-price, safety-first instead of duty-first, the love of soft living, and the get-rich-quick theory of life." - - Theodore Roosevelt
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(Fire, Police, Ambulance, Sheriff, etc. )
Central Dispatch 234_5655
(Non _ Emergency Number)
Direct Numbers
Ambulance _ 234_7371 (24 Hour)
Jail _ 234_5331 (24 Hour)
Poison Control _ 800_222_1222 (24 Hour)
http://www. aapcc. org/
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"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." __ "Bug"
"I read the end of the book. We win!" __ "Bug"
"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." __ "Bug"
"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." _ _ "Bug"
"It's no big deal doing what God tells you to do. A big deal would be NOT doing what God tells you to do. Just ask Jonah." _ _ Paul Troquille
“Nam et ipsa scientia potestas est.” Knowledge is power. _ Francis Bacon
"The problem is here and now. The time for talk is past. The time for action is now."
Comments on the first Earth Day _ James F. McClellan via John "Fuzzy" Thurman
~~~~~
Hope you enjoy the newsletter.
Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" __"Bug"
God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
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